TRANSLATION AND ANALYSIS OF THE EXTRACT FROM THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE AGED 13 ¾ BY SUE TOWNSEND

MASARYK UNIVERSITY IN BRNO Faculty of Education Department of English Language and Literature

TRANSLATION AND ANALYSIS OF THE EXTRACT FROM THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE AGED 13 ¾ BY SUE TOWNSEND DIPLOMA THESIS

Brno 2010

Supervisor:

Written by:

Mgr. Martin Němec

Bc. Barbara Kopicová

Declaration I hereby declare that I worked on my thesis on my own and that I used only the sources listed in the bibliography.

Prohlášení Prohlašuji, ţe jsem diplomovou práci zpracovala samostatně a pouţila jen prameny uvedené v seznamu literatury. _________________________ Bc. Barbara Kopicová

1

Acknowledgements I would like to thank to Mgr. Martin Němec for his kind help, useful advice and guidance that he provided as my supervisor. 2

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1 INTRODUCTION ...................................................................................................... 5 2 ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND THE MAIN CHARACTER .................................. 7 2.1 Sue Townsend’s biography ........................................................................... 7 2.2 Adrian Mole’s biography ............................................................................... 8 3 THE TRANSLATION .............................................................................................. 10 4 TRANSLATION THEORY ..................................................................................... 97 4.1 Literal vs. free translation ........................................................................... 97 4.2 Equivalence and untranslatability ............................................................ 100 4.2.1 The concept of equivalence ............................................................. 100 4.2.2 Equivalence at various levels ........................................................... 103 4.2.3 Equivalence at the lexical level........................................................ 104 5 THE ANALYSIS OF THE TRANSLATION ...................................................... 105 5.1 Absolute equivalence .................................................................................. 105 5.2 Problems of equivalence ............................................................................ 106 5.3 Partial equivalence ..................................................................................... 107 5.3.1 Formal differences ........................................................................... 107 5.3.2 Differences in denotation ................................................................. 108 5.3.3 Differences in connotation ............................................................... 110 5.3.3.1 Expressive connotation ........................................................ 111 5.3.3.1.1 Emotionality ............................................................ 112 5.3.3.1.2 Intensification.......................................................... 113 5.3.3.1.3 Other ways of conveying expressivity .................... 120 5.3.3.2 Figurative connotation ......................................................... 121 5.3.3.3 Stylistic connotation ............................................................ 122 3

5.3.4 Differences in pragmatic meaning .................................................... 126 5.4 Nil-equivalence............................................................................................ 131 5.5 Translation procedures .............................................................................. 132 6 CONCLUSION ....................................................................................................... 140 7 RÉSUMÉ ................................................................................................................. 141 8 BIBLIOGRAPHY ................................................................................................... 142

4

1 INTRODUCTION

The diploma thesis deals with a translation and analysis of the extract of The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ written by Sue Townsend. The book has been chosen since it is regarded as an outstanding masterpiece among the literary works of the corresponding genre, i.e. comedy. Moreover, it is considered ingeniously humorous with numerous elements of parody, and it comprises a wide range of linguistic phenomena representing a significant challenge for translators. Since I have already devoted myself to the translation and analysis of this book in the bachelor thesis, I want to base my diploma thesis on some of its ideas and examine them in greater detail. Concerning the extract for the diploma thesis, it has been selected with respect to my intentions and objectives. I intend to focus on the questions of equivalence and untranslatability which is the term for a phenomenon when an expression in one language has no equivalent in another language. Partial or total untranslatability occurs relatively often, and thus it deserves special attention of philologists. Many of them are actually convinced that untranslatability does not exist and they cope with untranslatability by employing a number of procedures. Therefore, I will try to outlet not only the most frequent causes of untranslatability, but also translation procedures in this thesis. Moreover, within the frame of the analysis I want to compare my translation with the only official translation written by Helena Hartlová-Císařová. Having read her translation, I realised that our view on the main character of the book and, consequently, the style of our translation would be different. In contrast to the style of my translation, Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation is more formal. Generally, she uses less expressive and colloquial expressions. Furthermore, the differences in our translations could arise from the different periods which they were written in since languages develop and popularity of particular expressions change over time, or simply by dissimilar interpretations of the original. Therefore, another aim of the thesis is to demonstrate that several stylistically diverse, but still correct translations of a particular text can co-exist. Regarding the structure of the thesis, it is divided into two main parts, practical and theoretical. The practical part includes my translation of the extract from The Secret 5

Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ and the original English version. The theoretical part comprises of three subsections. The first subsection provides us with some information about the author and the main character of the book. The second one is devoted to the translation theory dealing with the notions of literal translation, free translation, untranslatability and equivalence. In addition, these concepts are discussed from the point of view of various theorists. And the last subsection introduces the analysis of my translation based on the above-mentioned phenomena.

6

2 ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND THE MAIN CHARACTER

2.1 Sue Townsend’s biography Her full name is Susan Lillian Townsend and she was born in Leicester, England in 1946. She is an English novelist, playwright and publicist. In fact, she excels in writing comedies with social commentary but is also famous for her dramatic works. She dominated England as a writer in1980s thanks to the creation of the most popular diarist Adrian Mole. Sue Townsend has become best known thanks to him. People all over the world - especially teenagers - have grown fond of him with all his problems, experience, and desires. As a matter of fact, it is easy to sympathise with him since every one of us must face to the similar struggles in their everyday lives. Another reason why Adrian Mole‘s diaries appeal to its readers so strikingly is the humorous and satiric way it is written in. A famous English satirical writer Tom Sharp commented on Sue Townsend‘s first diary The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ as follows: ―I not only wept, I howled and hooted and had to get up and walk round the room and wipe my eyes so that I could go on reading.‖ (Townsend, 1982, cover of the book) The first of these diaries, The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ (1982) and its sequel, The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole (1984) became immediately bestsellers and their overwhelming success resulted in a demand for other sequels. Thus, they were followed by The True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole (1989) and Adrian Mole from Minor to Major (1991) which is an omnibus of all the three previous Adrian Mole‘s books and includes Adrian Mole and the Small Amphibians. Other three sequels are Adrian Mole - The Wilderness Years (1993), Adrian Mole: the Cappuccino Years (1999) and Adrian Mole and the Weapons of Mass Destruction (2004). Sue Townsend‘s Adrian Mole diaries have been translated into more than 30 languages and have been adapted for radio, television and theatre. The most popular book of these series is the first one The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ (1982), and therefore also a computer game and other consumer items were based on it.

7

2.2 Adrian Mole’s biography

“I am an intellectual but at the same time I am not very clever.” Adrian Mole His full name is Adrian Albert Mole. He was born on April 2nd, 1967 and he grew up in Leicestershire, in the English Midlands. He is a wiseacre who chronicles his life inflictions with nice English humour in his diary. Moreover, he also satirically depicts a real British life. He is an ordinary fourteen-year-old pubertal boy who excels at school and is convinced that he is an intellectual. He desperately longs to become a famous writer and thus regularly sends his poems to the BBC. Nevertheless, his effort is unavailing since he completely lacks a literary talent. His parents are George Alfred Mole and Pauline Monica Mole. They are former hippies, which resulted in their present lifestyle. They do not seem to be good parents; they are not as interested in their son‘s activities as they should be, they frequently argue and drink and smoke a lot. In addition, they are not too equanimous. Both belong to the unskilled working class and are often unemployed. Their marriage is dysfunctional, and thus they divorced and remarried several times. In the first diary, Adrian‘s mother leaves her husband for the first time. She falls in love with their neighbour Mr. Lucas, moves with him to Sheffield, and leaves Adrian with his unpractical father. She, however, changes her mind after several months and returns home. The love of Adrian‘s life is his classmate Pandora Braithwaite. She is highly intelligent, beautiful and rebellious. She was not interested in him until she noticed that he also has his rebellious side which revealed when Adrian took red socks to school. She falls in love with him but not forever. Pandora becomes a successful politician in latter sequels. His best friend is rich Bohemian Nigel Hetherington who turns out to be a gay and becomes blind in latter diaries. Other people important in Adrian‘s life are his brave paternal grandmother Edna May Mole; Bertram Baxter, an eighty-nine-year-old chain smoker who Adrian looks after joining the school volunteering programme; Barry Kent, Adrian‘s rival who bullies him; the Dog who is a family pet but is mistreated by 8

everyone

and

frequently

visits

the

vet;

and

Pop-Eye

Scruton,

Adrian‘s school head teacher who is very strict. Throughout the Adrian Mole series we can get to know Adrian‗s strange personality. He is often sanctimonious, conceited, sullen, and whiny, but still adorable. When interviewed by Alex Clark from The Guardian on November 7, 2009, Sue Townsend explained how she had got the idea of Adrian Mole. She stated,

―He came into my head when my eldest son said 'Why don't we go to safari parks like other families do?' That's the only real line of dialogue from my family that's in any of the Mole books. It's in because it triggered it. I remembered that kind of whiny, adolescent self-pity, that 'surely these are not my parents'.―

In the series, we can also experience his teenage years and his puberty. We can see as he reached his adulthood and can familiarise with his political opinions. During his journey from the childhood into the world of grown-ups, he gets himself into all sorts of trouble but he always manages to cope with them, and his ―ordinary life‖ goes on.

9

3 THE TRANSLATION

Tuesday August 11th

Úterý 11. srpna

Got another postcard from my mother.

Dostal jsem další pohled od matky.

Dear Aidy,

Milý Ádínku,

You've no idea how much I long to see ani netušíš, jak moc tě touţím vidět. Mé you. The mothering bond is as strong as mateřské pouto je pořád stejně silné. Vím, ever. I know you feel threatened by my ţe se cítíš ohroţený mým poměrem s involvement with Bimbo, but really Aidy there is no need. Bimbo fulfils my sexual needs. No more, no less. So, Aidy, grow up and come to Scotland. Lots of love, Pauline (mother) P.S. We leave on the fifteenth. Catch 8.22 train to Sheffield.

Bimbem, ale opravdu - není ţádný důvod. Bimbo jen uspokojuje mé sexuální potřeby. Nic víc, nic míň. Takţe se vzmuţ, Adínku, a přijeď do Skotska. S láskou, Pauline (matka) P. S. Patnáctého odjíţdíme. Sedni na vlak, který odjíţdí v 8:22 do Sheffieldu.

The postman said that if my mother was Pošťák řekl, ţe kdyby byla matka jeho his wife he would give her a good ţena, dal by jí pěkně přes čuňu. Nezná mou thrashing. He doesn't know my mother. If matku. Kdyby na ňu někdo vztáhl ruku, anybody laid a finger on her she would rozcupuje ho na kousky. beat them to pulp. Wednesday August 12th

Středa 12. srpna

Pandora thinks a trial separation will do Pandora si myslí, ţe by nám krátká pauza us good. She says our light to medium jedině prospěla. Tvrdí, ţe se naše nevinný petting will turn quite heavy soon. I must hlazení brzo změní v něco váţnějšího. admit that the strain is having a Musím přiznat, ţe to neustálý sexuální detrimental effect on my health. I have napětí má škodlivej vliv na moje zdraví. got no energy and my sleep is constantly Nemám ţádnou energii a pořád se budím 10

interrupted with dreams about Pandora's kvŧli snŧm o Pandořinejch bílejch bikinách white bikini and Mrs O'Leary's knickers.

a kalhotkách paní O‘Learyové.

I might go to Scotland after all.

Moţná, ţe do toho Skotska nakonec pojedu.

Thursday August 13th

Čtvrtek 13. srpna

My father has decided to go to Skegness Otec

se

rozhodl

jet

patnáctýho

do

on the fifteenth. He has booked a four- Skegnessu. Zamluvil čtyřlŧţkovej karavan. berth caravan. He is taking Doreen and Bere s sebou Doreen a Maxwella! Čeká, ţe Maxwell with him! He expects me to go!

pojedu taky!

If I go people will automatically assume Kdyţ pojedu, lidi si budou automaticky that Doreen is my mother and Maxwell is myslet, ţe je Doreen má matka a Maxwell my brother!

mŧj brácha!

I am going to Scotland.

Jedu do Skotska!

Friday August 14th

Pátek 14. srpna

Had tragic last night with Pandora. We Včera byl náš poslední srdcervoucí večer s have both sworn to be true. I have done Pandorou. Oba jsme si přísahali věrnost. all my packing. The dog has been taken round to grandma's with fourteen tins of Pedigree Chum and a giant sack of

Nabalil jsem se. Psa jsme odvezli k babičce se čtrnácti konzervama a obřím pytlem granulí.

Winalot. I am taking Escape from Childhood, by Na cestu do vlaku si beru kníţku Útěk z John Holt, to read on the train.

dětství od Johna Holta.

Saturday August 15th

Sobota 15. srpna

FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

My father, Stick Insect and Maxwell Otec, Kudlanka Náboţná a Maxwell Sopel House saw me off at the station. My mě byli doprovodit na nádraţí. Otci ani za father didn't mind a bit that I chose to go mák nevadilo, ţe jsem se rozhodl jet do 11

to Scotland instead of Skegness. In fact Skotska místo Skegnessu. Vlastně vypadal he looked dead cheerful. The train děsně

spokojeně.

Cesta

vlakem

byla

journey was terrible. I had to stand all the strašná. Celou cestu do Sheffieldu jsem way to Sheffield. I spoke to a lady in a musel stát. Povídal jsem si s ňákou paní na wheelchair who was in the guard's van. vozíčku, která byla ve sluţebním voze. She was very nice, she said that the only Byla moc milá, řekla, ţe jediná dobrá věc good thing about being handicapped was na tom bejt hendikepovanej je, ţe tě that you always got a seat in trains. Even vţdycky pustí ve vlaku sednout. I kdyţ je if it was in the guard's van.

to třeba ve sluţebním voze.

My mother and creep Lucas met me at V Sheffieldu na mě čekala matka se Sheffield. My mother looked dead thin slizounem Lucasem. Matka vypadala děsně and has started dressing in clothes that are vyzáblá a začala se oblíkat jako ňáká too young for her. Lucas creep was mladice. Lucas slizoun měl na sobě rifle! wearing jeans! His belly was hanging Visel mu přes ně pupek. Celou cestu do over his belt. I pretended to be asleep Skotska jsem předstíral, ţe spím. until we got to Scotland. Lucas mauled my mother about even Lucas matku ohmatával, i kdyţ řídil. whilst he was driving. We are at a place called Loch Lubnaig. I Jsme na místě, který se jmenuje Loch am in bed in a log cabin. My mother and Lubraig. Jsem teď v posteli ve srubu. Lucas have gone to the village to try to Matka s Lucasem šli do vesnice sehnat buy cigarettes. At least that is their story.

ňáký cigára. Aspoň to teda tvrdí.

Sunday August 16th

Neděle 16. srpna

NINTH AFTER TRINITY

DEVÁTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

There is a loch in front of the cabin and a Před srubem je jezero a za srubem jsou pine forest and a mountain behind the hory a borovej les. Není tu co dělat. Je to cabin. There is nothing to do. It is dead tady pěknej vopruz. boring. Monday August 17th

Pondělí 17. srpna 12

Did some washing in a log cabin Byl jsem si něco přeprat v prádelně ve launderette. Spoke to an American tourist srubu. Mluvil jsem s jedním Americkým called Hamish Mancini; he is the same turistou. Jmenuje se Hamish Mancini a je age as me. His mother is on her stejně starej. Jeho matka je tady na honeymoon for the fourth time.

líbánkách, uţ po čtvrtý.

Tuesday August 18th

Úterý 18. srpna

Rained all day.

Celej den pršelo.

Wednesday August 19th

Středa 19. srpna

Sent postcards. Phoned Pandora, reversed Poslal jsem pohledy. Volal jsem Pandoře charges. Her father refused to accept na účet volanýho. Její otec to odmítnul. them. Thursday August 20th

Čtvrtek 20. srpna

Played cards with Hamish Mancini. His Hrál jsem s Hamishem Macinym karty. mother and stepfather and my mother and Jeho matka s jeho nevlastním otcem a moje her lover have gone to see a waterfall in matka se svým milencem se jeli autem the car. Big deal!

podívat na vodopády. Fakt vzrŧšo!

Friday August 21st

Pátek 21. srpna

Walked two and a half miles into Ušel jsem dva a pŧl kilometru do Callander to buy Mars bar. Played on Callanderu, abych si koupil tyčinku Mars. Space Invaders. Came back, had tea. Zahrál jsem si na automatu Vetřelce z Phoned Pandora from log cabin phone vesmíru. Vrátil jsem se a dal si čaj. Zavolal box. Reversed charges. She still loves me. jsem z telefonní budky ve srubu na účet I still love her. Went to bed.

volanýho. Pořád mě miluje. Pořád ju miluju. Šel jsem spát.

Saturday August 22nd

Sobota 22. srpna

MOON'S LAST QUARTER

MĚSÍC V POSLEDNÍ ČTVRTI

Went to see Rob Roy's grave. Saw it, Šel jsem se podívat na hrob skotskýho 13

came back.

národního hrdiny a zlodějíčka Roba Roye. Viděl jsem ho a šel jsem zpátky.

Sunday August 23rd

Neděle 23. srpna

TENTH AFTER TRINITY

DESÁTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

My mother has made friends with a Matka se skamarádila s jedním párem, s couple called Mr and Mrs Ball. They panem a paní Ballovýma. Odjeli na hrad have gone off to Stirling Castle. Mrs Ball Stirling.

Paní

Ballová

má

dceru

has got a daughter who is a writer. I asked spisovatelku. Zeptal jsem se jí, jak pro to her how her daughter qualified to be one. získala kvalifikaci. Paní Ballová řekla, ţe Mrs Ball said that her daughter was jako malou ji upustili na hlavičku a od té dropped on her head as a child and has doby je „tak trošku divná‖. been 'a bit queer' ever since. It is Mrs Ball's birthday so they all came Paní Ballová má narozky, takţe všichni back to our log cabin to celebrate. I přišli oslavovat k nám do srubu. Stěţoval complained about the noise at 1 a.m., 2 a.m., 3 a.m., and 4 a.m. At 5 a.m. they decided to climb the mountain! I pointed out to them that they were blind drunk,

jsem si na kravál; v jednu, ve dvě, ve tři a ve čtyři ráno. V pět se rozhodli vyšlápnout si na horu! Upozornil jsem je, ţe jsou totálně na mol, moc staří, nekvalifikovaní, nemají

kondičku,

zmáknutou

techniku

too old, unqualified, unfit and lacking in přeţití, ani ţádnou lékárničku, nemají any survival techniques, had no first-aid pevný boty, ţádnej kompas, mapu, ani kit, weren't wearing stout boots, and

teplý výţivný nápoje.

had no compass, map or sustaining hot drinks. My protest fell on deaf ears. They all Mŧj protest šel zřejmě jedním uchem tam, climbed the mountain, came down and druhým ven. Všichni na tu horu vylezli, were cooking eggs and bacon by 11.30 slezli a o pŧl dvanáctý uţ si dělali vajíčka a.m.

se slaninou.

As I write Mr and Mrs Ball are canoeing Zatímco teď píšu, projíţdí se pan a paní 14

on the loch. They must be on drugs.

Ballovi po jezeře. Určitě jedou na drogách.

Monday August 24th

Pondělí 24. srpna

Went to Edinburgh. Saw the castle, the Jel jsem do Edinburghu. Viděl jsem hrad, toy museum, the art gallery. Bought a muzeum hraček, galerii výtvarnýho umění. haggis. Came back to log cabin, read Koupil jsem si skotský národní jídlo Glencoe, by John Prebble. We are going haggis. Vrátil jsem se do srubu, přečetl there tomorrow.

jsem Glencoe od Johna Prebbla. Zítra tam jedeme.

Tuesday August 25th

Úterý 25. srpna

The massacre of Glencoe took place on K masakru v Glencoe došlo 13. února February 13 1692. On February 14, John 1692. 14. února napsal John Hill hraběti Hill wrote to the Earl of Tweeddale, 'I z Tweeddalu: „Zničil jsem Glencoe―. have ruined Glencoe'. He was dead right, there is nothing there. To měl teda pravdu, nic tam není. Zítra Glasgow tomorrow.

Glasgow.

Wednesday August 26th

Středa 26. srpna

We drove through Glasgow at 11 a.m. in Glasgowem jsme projíţděli v jedenáct ráno the morning yet I counted twenty-seven a stejně jsem napočítal dvacet sedm oţralcŧ drunks in one mile! All the shops except na jednom kilometru! Všechny obchody the DIY shops had grilles at the windows. kromě obchodu pro kutily mají na výloze Off-licences had rolls of barbed wire and mříţe. Na střechách obchŧdkŧ, ve kterejch broken glass on their roofs. We had a se prodává alkohol, byly role ostnatýho walk round for a bit, then my mother drátu a skleněný střepy. Trochu jsme se nagged Lucas creep into taking her to the tady prošli, pak si matka vydupala, aby ju Glasgow art gallery. I intended to sit in Lucas vzal do glasgowské galerie. Nejdřív the car and read Glencoe, but because of jsem chtěl zŧstat v autě a číst si Glencoe, all the drunks staggering around I ale kvŧli všem těm oţralŧm potácejícím se reluctantly followed them inside.

kolem

jsem

je

nakonec

neochotně

následoval dovnitř. 15

How glad I am that I did! I might have Jsem fakt rád, ţe jsem šel! Mohl jsem projít gone through life without having an ţivotem important cultural experience!

a

propást

dŧleţitej

kulturní

záţitek!

Today I saw Salvador Dali's painting of Dneska jsem viděl obraz Salvadora Daliho the Crucifixion!!! The real one! Not a Ukřiţování!!! Pravej! Ţádná reprodukce! reproduction! They have hung it at the end of a corridor Pověsili ho na konec chodby, aby se měnil, so that it changes as you get nearer to it. kdyţ se k němu přibliţuješ. Kdyţ nakonec When you are finally standing up close to stojíš hned u něho, připadneš si jako it you feel like a midget. It is absolutely trpajzlík. Je fakt bombastickej! fantastic! Huge! With dead good colours and Jesus Obrovskej! Barvy jsou fakt dobrý a Jeţíš looks like a real bloke. I bought six vypadá jako skutečnej chlápek. Koupil postcards of it from the museum but of course it is not the same as the real thing.

jsem

si

v

muzeu

šest

pohlednic

s

Ukřiţováním, ale jasně ţe to není jako ten opravdickej.

One day I will take Pandora to see it. Jednou sem vezmu Pandoru, aby to taky Perhaps on our honeymoon.

viděla! Moţná na naše líbánky.

Thursday August 27th

Čtvrtek 27. srpna

Oban today. Bumped into Mr and Mrs Dneska Oban. Narazili jsme tam na pana a Swallow who live in the next street to me. paní Swallowovi, kteří bydlí ve vedlejší Everyone kept saying, 'It's a small world isn't it?' Mrs Swallow asked creep Lucas how his wife was. Lucas told her that his wife had left him for another woman. Then everyone blushed and said what a small world it was and parted company. My mother went mad at Lucas. She said

ulici. Kaţdej pořád opakoval: „Ten svět je ale malý, ţe?― Paní Swallowová se zeptala slizouna Lucase, jak se má jeho ţena. Lucas jí řekl, ţe ho ţena opustila kvŧli jiné ţeně. Pak všichni zrudli a říkali, jak je ten svět malej a sešlost rozpustili. Matka se na Lucase nakrkla. Řekla: „Musíš to kaţdýmu vykládat?― a „Jak si myslíš, ţe se cítím,

'Do you have to tell everyone?' and 'How kdyţ ţiju s chlápkem, kterýho odkopla 16

do you think I feel living with a lesbian's lesba?― Lucas trochu remcal, ale pak matka estranged husband?' Lucas whined on

nahodila ten babiččin výraz. Takţe zmlkl.

for a bit but then my mother started looking like my grandma. So he kept quiet. Friday August 28th

Pátek 28. srpna

Fort William today. Ben Nevis was Dneska Fort William. Hora Ben Nevis byla another disappointment. I couldn't tell dalším zklamáním. Nedokáţu ani říct, kde where it began or stopped. The other začínala a kde končila. Ostatní hory a mountains and hills clutter it up. Lucas kopce rozházený všude moţně kolem ju fell in the burn (Scottish for 'little river') zakrývaly. Lucas spadl do burnu (skotsky but unfortunately it was too shallow to „říčka‖), ale bohuţel to bylo moc mělký, drown in.

aby se tam utopil.

Saturday August 29th

Sobota 29. srpna

FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

Went for a walk around the loch with Šel jsem se s Hamishem Macinym projít Hamish Mancini. He told me that he kolem jezera. Řekl mně, ţe si myslí, ţe thinks his mother is heading for her jeho matka spěje k čtvrtýmu rozvodu. Vrací fourth divorce. He is going home tonight; se dnes večer domŧ; v pondělí ráno je v he has got an appointment with his New analyst

in

New

York

Yorku

objednanej

ke

svýmu

on Monday psychoanalytikovi.

morning. I have finished my packing and I am Uţ jsem se nabalil a čekám na matku a waiting for my mother and creep Lucas to slizouna Lucase, aţ se vrátí z borovýho come back from their furtive love-making

lesa, kde si to na tajnačku rozdávají.

somewhere in the pine forest. We leave at dawn.

Vyjíţdíme za svítání.

17

Sunday August 30th

Neděle 30. srpna

ELEVENTH AFTER TRINITY

JEDENÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

I made Lucas stop for souvenirs at Gretna Donutil jsem Lucase zastavit v Gretna Green. I bought Pandora a pebble shaped Greenu kvŧli suvenýrŧm. Pandoře jsem like an otter, Bert a tam-o'-shanter, the koupil kamínek ve tvaru vydry, Bertovi dog a tartan bow for its neck, grandma a vlněnej baret, psovi kostkovanej šátek box of tartan fudge. Stick Insect Tartan kolem

krku,

babičce

biscuits, Maxwell a tartan sweet dummy. kostkovanejch I bought my father a tartan tea towel.

krabičku

bonbónŧ,

Kudlance

Náboţné kostkovaný sušenky, Maxwellovi kostkovanej cumel. Otci jsem koupil kostkovanou utěrku.

I bought myself a tartan scribbling pad. I Sobě jsem koupil kostkovanej notes. Jsem am determined to become a writer.

odhodlanej stát se spisovatelem.

Here is an extract from 'My thoughts on Tady je úryvek z mýho díla „Mé úvahy o Scotland' written on the M6 at 120 mph:

Skotsku― psanýho na dálnici M6 při rychlosti 190 km/h:

The hallowed mist rolls away leaving Posvátný mlţný opar odplouvá a zanechává Scotland's majestic peaks revealed in all skotské vznešené vrcholky odhaleny v celé their majesty. A shape in the translucent jejich vznešenosti. Útvar na prŧzračném sky reveals itself to be an eagle, that nebi se ukazuje být orlem, vznešeným majestic bird of prey. Talons clawing, it dravcem.

Zákeřné

drápy

dosedají

na

lands on a loch, rippling the quiet majesty hladinu jezera a čeří klidnou vznešenost of the turbulent waters. The eagle pauses only to dip its majestic beak into the aqua before spreading its majestic wings and flying away to its magisterial nest high in the barren, arid, grassless hills.

bouřlivých vod. Orel zastavuje, jen aby si smočil svŧj vznešený zobák v této čiré tekutině,

předtím

vznešená

křídla

dŧstojného

neţ a

hnízda

roztáhne

odletí vysoko

do

svá svého

v pustých,

vyprahlých, holých kopcích.

The Highland cattle. Majestic horned Horský skot. Vznešené rohaté zvíře z beast of the glens lowers its brown eyed úzkého

údolí

sklápí

svou

vznešenou 18

shaggy haired majestic head as it hnědookou ruminates on the mysteries of Glencoe.

střapatou

chlupatou

hlavu,

zatímco přemítá o záhadách Glencoe.

There are a couple too many 'majesties'. Je tam krapánek moc „vznešenosti―. Ale But I think it reads rather well. I will send myslím si, ţe se to čte docela dobře. Aţ to it to the BBC when it's finished. Got dokončím, pošlu to do BBC. Domŧ jsem home at 6 p.m. Too tired to write more.

dorazil v 18:00. Uţ víc nenapíšu, jsem totiţ pěkně vyfluslej.

Monday August 31st

Pondělí 31. srpna

BANK HOLIDAY IN UK (EXCEPT STÁTNÍ SCOTLAND)

SVÁTEK

VE

SPOJENÉM

KRÁLOVSTVÍ (KROMĚ SKOTSKA)

Everyone is broke. The banks are closed Všichni jsou švorc. Banky jsou zavřený a and my father can't remember the secret otec si nemŧţe vzpomenout na tajnej kód code on his plastic moneycard. He had svý platební karty. Měl nervy na to pŧjčit si the nerve to borrow five pounds from pět

liber

od

Berta

Baxtera.

To

je

Bert Baxter. Fancy asking an old age neskutečný - pŧjčovat si prachy od pensioner for money! It lacks dignity.

dŧchodce!

To

postrádá

veškerou

dŧstojnost. Pandora and I are now insanely in love! S Pandorou jsme teď do sebe úplní blázni! The separation only served to fuel our Ta pauza jen přilila olej do ohně naší vášně. passion. Our hormones are stirred every Naše hormony se bouří, kdykoliv jsme time we meet. Pandora slept with the otter spolu. Včera v noci spala Pandora s tím pebble in her hand last night. How I wish kamínkem ode mě v ruce. Kéţ bych mohl the otter pebble could have been me.

být tím kamínkem.

Tuesday September 1st

Úterý 1. září

Mr Singh has had to return to India to Pan Singh se musel vrátit do Indie, aby se look after his aged parents, so Bert has postaral o svý stařičký rodiče, takţe bylo been told that he will have to move back into his dirty old house! Mr Singh says that he cannot trust his womenfolk to be

Bertovi řečeno, ţe se musí vrátit do svýho špinavýho bejváku! Pan Singh říká, ţe nemŧţe bejt tak dŧvěřivej, aby nechal svý 19

alone in the house with Bert. How stupid ţenský samotný v baráku s Bertem. Jak jen can you get? Bert doesn't mind too much; mŧţe člověk takhle zmagořit? Bert si z he said that it is 'quite a compliment'.

toho nic moc nedělá; řekl, ţe je to docela kompliment.

Pandora and I are going to clean Bert's S Pandorou chceme vyčistit Bertŧv barák a house and help him move back. He owes pomoct mu nastěhovat se zpátky. Dluţí the council two hundred and ninety-four pounds in rent arrears. He has got to pay the arrears off at fifty pence a week, so it is a certainty that Bert will die in debt. Wednesday September 2nd

obecnímu úřadu dvě stě devadesát čtyři liber za nedoplatky na nájemným. Musí splácet padesát pencí týdně, takţe je jasný, ţe Bert umře zadluţenej. Středa 2. září

Pandora and I went to look at Bert's house S Pandorou jsme se dneska zašli podívat do today. It is a truly awesome sight. If Bert Bertova baráku. Je to fakticky děsivej took all his empty beer bottles back to the pohled. Kdyby Bert vrátil všechny prázdný off-licence he might get enough money flašky od piva, moţná by dostal dost peněz on the empties to pay off his rent arrears.

na splacení nedoplatkŧ na nájemným.

Thursday September 3rd

Čtvrtek 3. září

My father helped us to move all of the Otec nám pomohl odtáhnout všechen furniture out of the ground floor of Bert's nábytek z přízemí Bertova baráku - vylezli house, the woodworms came out to červotoči, aby se mohli slunit. Kdyţ jsme sunbathe. When we lifted the carpets we nadzvedli koberce, objevili jsme, ţe se Bert discovered that Bert had been walking léta producíroval po vrstvě špíny, starejch about on a layer of dirt, old newspapers, hairpins, marbles and decomposed mice for years. We hung the carpets on the washing line and beat them all afternoon, but the dust billowed out non-stop. Pandora got excited at about 5 p.m., she claimed she could see a pattern emerging

novin,

sponek

do

vlasŧ,

skleněnejch

kuliček a rozloţenejch myší. Pověsili jsme koberce na šňŧru na praní a mlátili do nich celý odpoledne, ale pořád se z nich zvedal prach. Okolo páté Pandora vyjekla a tvrdila, ţe na jednom koberci zahlídla vylízající ornament, ale bliţší prohlídka ukázala, ţe to byl jen rozmáčklej piškotovej 20

on one carpet, but closer examination dortík. Zítra se sem vracíme s šamponem showed it to be squashed fairy cake. We are going back tomorrow with Pandora's mother's carpet-shampooer. Pandora said it has been tested by Which?, but I bet

na koberce od Pandořiny matky. Pandora říká, ţe to bylo otestovaný v Černejch ovcích, ale vsadím se, ţe to nikdy nemuselo čistit tak zasviněnej brloh jako je ten Berta Baxtera.

it has never had to clean a filthy hovel like Bert Baxter's before. Friday September 4th

Pátek 4. září

I have just witnessed a miracle! This Zrovna jsem byl svědkem zázraku! Dneska morning Bert's carpets were dark grey in ráno byly Bertovy koberce tmavě šedý. colour. Now one is a red Axminster and Teď je jeden červenej Axminster a druhej the other is a blue Wilton. The carpets are je modrej Wilton. Suší se teď na šňŧře na hanging on the clothes line to dry. We prádlo. Všechny podlahy jsme vydrhli have scraped all the floors clean and dočista

a

nábytek

jsme

umyli

washed the furniture down with a protiplísňovou desinfekcí. Pandora sundala fungicide disinfectant. Pandora took the záclony, ale rozpadly se, ještě neţ je stihla curtains down but they fell to pieces hodit

do

umyvadla.

Bert

seděl

na

before she could get them to the sink. rozkládacím křesle, kritizoval a stěţoval si. Bert has been sitting in a deckchair Nechápe, co je na tom špatnýho, ţít criticizing and complaining. He can't see ve špinavým baráku. Co je na tom špatnýho what's wrong with living in a dirty house.

ţít ve špinavým baráku?

What is wrong with living in a dirty house? Saturday September 5th

Sobota 5. září

My father took Bert's bottles to the off- Dneska ráno šel otec vrátit Bertovy prázdný licence this morning. The boot, back seat flašky. Byl jich plnej kufr, zadní sedadlo i and floor of the car were filled with them. podlaha. Auto páchlo pivem. Na cestě mu The car stank of brown ale. He ran out of došel benzín, takţe zavolal asistenční petrol on the way and called the A A. The sluţbu. Chlápek z asistenční sluţby byl 21

A A man was most uncivil, he said it pěknej hulvát a řekl, ţe to, co otec wasn't the Automobile Association my potřebuje, není asistenční sluţba, ale father

needed,

it

was

alcoholics protialkoholická léčebna!

Anonymous! Sunday September 6th

Neděle 6. září

TWELFTH AFTER TRINITY. MOON'S DVANÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI. MĚSÍC V FIRST QUARTER

PRVNÍ ČTVRTI

Bert's house looks great. Everything is Bertŧv barák vypadá skvěle. Všechno je dead clean and shiny. We have moved his suprově čistý a zářivý. Přesunuli jsme mu bed into the lounge so that he can watch postel do obýváku, aby se z ní mohl dívat television in bed. Pandora's mother has na telku. Pandořina matka si vyhrála s done very artistic arrangements with květinovou výzdobou a Pandořin otec flowers, and Pandora's father has made an udělal do zadních dveří speciální vchod pro alsatian flap in the back door so that Bert Šavli, aby se Bert nemusel pořád zvedat a doesn't keep having to get up to answer chodit mu otvírat dveře. Zítra se Bert the door to Sabre. Bert is moving back stěhuje zpátky. tomorrow. Monday September 7th

Pondělí 7. září

LABOR DAY, USA AND CANADA

DEN PRÁCE V USA A KANADĚ

An airmail letter from Hamish Mancini.

Leteckej dopis od Hamishe Manciniho.

Hi Aid!

Nazdar Áďo!

Howya doin'? I hope the situation Jaká? Doufám, ţe s chytrolínou Pandorou Pandora-wise is ongoing! She sounds je všecko v oukeji. Je to určo krutá baba! kinda zappy! Scotland blew my mind! It Skotsko mě fakt dostalo! Má to tam úplně was so far out as to be nuked! You're a jiný grády, jak po vyhlazení atomovkou! great human being, Aid. I guess I was Seš skvělej chlap, Áďo. Přinde mně, ţe sem kinda traumatized when we rapped but byl krapánek traumatizovanej, kdyţ sme Dr Eagelburger (my shrink) is doing odfrčeli, ale dr. Eagelburger (můj cvokař) great things with my libido. Mom's really dělá velký věci s mým libidem. Máti je 22

wiped out right now, turns out number teďkonc dost rozsekaná, ukázalo se, ţe číslo four is a T V and has a better collection čtyři je transvesťák a má lepší kolekci of Calvin Kleins than she do! Don't you Calvina Kleinse neţ vona! Nemyslíš si, ţe think the fall is a drag? Son-of-a-bitch podzim je vopruz? To zasraný listí se válí leaves everywhere!

všude!

See you, Buddy! ! !

Tě pic, Brácha!!!

Hamish

Hamish

I showed it to Pandora, my father and Ukázal jsem to Pandoře, otci a Bertovi, ale Bert but nobody understands it. Bert nikdo tomu nerozumí. Bert nemá rád doesn't like Americans because it took Amíky, protoţe jim trvalo děsně dlouho, them too long to come into the war or neţ vstoupili do války nebo co. something. Bert now in his clean house. He hasn't Bert je teďka ve svým vypucovaným said thank-you, but he seems happy.

baráku. Ani nepoděkoval, ale vypadá spokojeně.

Tuesday September 8th

Úterý 8. září

Lousy stinking school on Thursday. I Ve čtvrtek zas ta mizerná, zavšivená škola. tried my old uniform on but I have Vyzkoušel jsem si starou uniformu, ale outgrown it so badly that my father is vyrostl jsem z ní tak brutálně, ţe zítra being forced to buy me a new one donutím otce, aby mi koupil novou. tomorrow. He is going up the wall but I can't help it Otec je vztekem bez sebe, ale copak za to if my body is in a growth period can I? I mŧţu, ţe je moje tělo ve vývinu? Uţ jsem am only five centimetres shorter than jen o pět cenťákŧ menší neţ Pandora. Moje Pandora now. My thing remains static at nádobíčko twelve centimetres.

centimetrech.

Wednesday September 9th

Středa 9. září

zŧstává

na

dvanácti

Grandma phoned, she has found out Volala babička. Zjistila, ţe Doreen a 23

about Doreen and Maxwell going to Maxwell byli v Skegnessu. Uţ nikdy s Skegness. She is never speaking to my otcem nepromluví. father again. Here is my shopping list: Blazer

Tady je mŧj nákupní lístek: Ł29.99

2 pairs grey trousers £23.98 2 white shirts £11.98 2 grey pullovers £7.98 3 pairs black socks £2.37 I pair PE shorts £4.99 I P E vest £3.99 I track suit £11.99 I pair training shoes £7.99 I pair football boots and£11.99 I pair football socks £2.99 studs Football shorts £4.99 Football shirt £7.99 Adidas sports bag £4.991 I pair black shoes £ 15.99 I calculator £6.99 Pen and pencil set £3-99 Geometry set £2.99 My father can easily spare a hundred

Sako

Ł29.99

2x šedý kalhoty £23.98 2x bílá košile £11.98 2x šedej svetr £7.98 3x černý ponoţky £2.37 1x kraťase na TV £4.99 1x tílko na TV £3.99 1x teplákovka £11.99 1x tenisky £7.99 1x kopačky £11.99 1x podkolenky na fotbal£2.99 Kraťase na fotbal £4.99 fotbal Fotbalovej dres £7.99 Sportovní taška Adidas £4.991 1x černý boty £ 15.99 1x kalkulačka £6.99 Souprava na psaní £3-99 Souprava na rýsování £2.99 Sto liber nemŧţe bejt pro otce ţádnej

pounds. His redundancy payment must problém.

Musel

dostat

obrovitánský

have been huge, so why he is lying on his odstupný, takţe váţně nechápu, proč se válí bed moaning I don't know. He is just a v posteli a fňuká. Krkoun jeden! Stejně mean skinflint! He hasn't paid with real neplatil

skutečnýma

penězma!

Pouţil

money anyway! He used his American kreditku American Express. Express card. Pandora admired me in my new uniform. Pandora mě obdivovala v mý nový She says she thinks I stand a good chance uniformě. Myslí si prý, ţe mám velkou of being made a prefect.

šanci dostat na starosti sluţbu!

Thursday September 10th

Čtvrtek 10. září

A proud start to the new term. I am a Úctyhodnej začátek novýho pololetí. Mám prefect! My first duty is as late duty sluţbu! Prozatím mám zapisovat opozdilce. prefect. I have to wait by the gap in the Musím čekat u díry v plotě a zapisovat 24

railings and take the name of anyone kaţdýho, kdo se pokusí proklouznout po sneaking late into school. Pandora is also zvonění do školy. Pandora je taky sluţba. a prefect. She is in charge of silence in Má se postarat o klid ve frontě na obědy. the dinner queue. My new timetable was given to me today Dneska jsem dostal novej rozvrh od našeho by my new form tutor, Mr Dock. It novýho třídního, pana Docka. Jsou v něm includes my O level and CSE lessons, and předměty, ze kterých budu dělat závěrečky. it is compulsory to do Maths, English, P Povinně mám teda matiku, anglinu, tělák a E and Comparative Religion. But they do náboţenství. Na výběr mám mezi několika give you a choice of Cultural and Crea- kulturníma a tvořivýma předmětama. Takţe tive subjects. So I have chosen Media jsem si vybral Mediální výchovu (lehárko, Studies

(dead

easy,

just

reading jenom čtení novin a koukání na telku) a

newspapers and watching telly) and rodinnou výchovu (jenom kecání o sexu, Parentcraft (just learning about sex, I teda doufám). Učitel Dock taky učí hope). Mr Dock also teaches English anglickou litošku, takţe budem muset Literature, so we are bound to get on, by máknout, i kdyţ já jsem uţ teď rozhodně now I am surely the best-read kid in the nejsečtělejší dítko na škole. Budu mu moct school. I will be able to help him out if he pomoct, kdyţ si nebude vědět rady. gets stuck. Asked my father for five pounds fifty for Poprosil jsem otce o pět liber pade na school trip to the British Museum. He školní výlet do Britskýho muzea. Pěkně se went berserk and said, 'What happened to naštval a řekl: „Kam se podělo bezplatný free education?' I told him that I didn't školství?― Řekl jsem, ţe nemám tucha. know. Friday September 11th

Pátek 11. září

Had a long talk with Mr Dock. I Měl jsem dlouhej rozhovor s učitelem explained that I was a oneparent-family Dockem. Vysvětlil jsem mu, ţe jsem z child with an unemployed, bad-tempered rozvrácený rodiny a ţiju s nezaměstnaným, father. Mr Dock said he wouldn't care if I mrzutým otcem. Učitel Dock řekl, ţe je mu was the offspring of a black, lesbian, one- to fuk, at‗ jsem třeba potomek černošský, legged mother and an Arab, leprous, lesbický, jednonohý matky a arabskýho, 25

humpbacked-dwarf father so long as my hrbatýho zakrslíka s leprou, pokud budou essays

were

lucid,

intelligent

and moje slohovky srozumitelný, inteligentní a

unpretentious. So much for pastoral care!

neokázalý. Tomu se říká duchovní péče!

Saturday September 12th

Sobota 12. září

Wrote lucid, intelligent and unpretentious Ráno

jsem

napsal

srozumitelnou,

essay about Scottish wild life in the inteligentní a neokázalou slohovku o morning. In afternoon did shopping in Skotské přírodě. Odpoledne jsem šel s Sainsbury's with my father. Saw Rick otcem nakoupit k Sainsburymu. Viděl jsem Lemon dithering at the fruit counter; he Ricka Lemona nervózně pobíhat u pultu s said selecting fruit was an "overtly ovocem; tvrdil, ţe výběr ovoce je „veřejný political act'. He rejected South African politický čin―. Zavrhl jabka z Jiţní Afriky, apples, French golden delicious apples, jabka

Golden

Delicious

z Francie,

Israeli oranges, Tunisian dates, and pomeranče z Izraele, datle z Tunisu a American grapefruits. In the end he grepfruity z Ameriky. Nakonec si vzal selected English rhubarb, 'Although,' he rebarboru z Anglie, „Ačkoliv―, řekl, „tvar said, 'the shape was phallic, possibly je falický, poměrně sexistický―. Jeho sexist'. His girlfriend, Tit (short for Titia), přítelkyně Tita (od jména Titia) cpala do was cramming the trolley with pulses and košíku luštěniny a rýţi. Měla na sobě sice rice. She had a long skirt on but now and dlouhou sukni, ale chvílema jsem zahlídl again I caught a glimpse of her hairy její

chlupatý

kotníky. Otec

řekl,

ţe

ankles. My father said he preferred a nice preferuje pěkně oholený nohy, ať se děje, shaven leg any day. My father likes co se děje. Otci se líbí silonky, podvazky, stockings, suspenders, mini-skirts and mini sukně a velký výstřihy! Je děsně low necklines! He is dead old-fashioned.

staromódní!

Sunday September 13th

Neděle 13. září

THIRTEENTH AFTER TRINITY

TŘINÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

Went to see Blossom. Pandora doesn't Šel jsem se mrknout na Květinku. Pandora ride her now because her feet drag on the uţ na ní nejezdí, protoţe štráchá nohama o ground. Pandora is having a proper horse zem.

Pandoře

dovezou

příští

týden

delivered next week. It is called Ian opravdickýho koně. Jmenuje se Ian Smith. 26

Smith. The people who are selling it used Lidi, co ho prodávají, ţili dřív v Africe, v to live in Africa, in Zimbabwe.

Zimbabwe.

Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. She is Zítra má matka narozky. Bude jí třicet thirty-seven.

sedm.

Monday September 14th


FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

Phoned my mother before school. There Před školou jsem volal matce. Nikdo to was no answer. I expect she was lying in nezvedal. Vsadím se, ţe byla v posteli s tím bed with that stinking rat Lucas.

zavšiveným prasákem Lucasem.

School dinners are complete crap now. K obědu teď ve škole míváme pěkný blafy. Gravy seems to have been phased out Na

omáčkách,

pudinku

ani

teplých

along with custard and hot puddings. A nákypech uţ si skoro nepochutnáme. typical menu is: hamburger, baked beans, Typickej jídelníček je teď: hamburger, chips, carton of yoghurt, or a doughnut. fazole z konzervy, hranolky, jogurt, nebo It's not enough to build healthy bone and kobliha. Pro výstavbu zdravejch kostí a sinew. I am considering making a protest svalŧ to rozhodně nestačí. Uvaţuju, ţe to Mrs Thatcher. It won't be our fault if podám protest Thatcherový. Nebude to we grow up apathetic and lacking in naše chyba, kdyţ z nás vyrostou tupouni moral fibre.

bez morálních zásad.

Perhaps Mrs Thatcher wants us to be too Je moţný, ţe Thatcherová chce, abysme weak to demonstrate in years to come.

neměli za pár let dost sil k případné demonstraci.


Úterý 15. září

Barry Kent has been late three times in Barry Kent přišel v jednom týdnu uţ třikrát one week. So it is my unfortunate duty to pozdě. Takţe mám nemilou povinnost report him to Mr Scruton.

nahlásit ho říďovi Scrutonovi.

Unpunctuality is the sign of a disordered Nedochvilnost brain. So he cannot go unpunished.

je

známka

mozkové

poruchy. Takţe mu to nemŧţe projít bez 27

potrestání. Wednesday September 16th

Středa 16. září

Our form is going to the British Museum V pátek jede naše třída do Britskýho on Friday. Pandora and I are going to sit muzea. V autobusu budu sedět vedle together on the coach. She is bringing her Pandory. Vezme z domu noviny, abysme Guardian from home so that we can have měli ňáký to soukromí. some privacy. Thursday September 17th


Had a lecture on the British Museum Učitelka Fossington-Goreová nám povídala from Ms Fossington-Gore. She said it o Britským muzeu. Řekla, ţe je to was a 'fascinating treasure house of „impozantní pokladnice lidských výtvorŧ―. person-kind's

achievements'.

Nobody Nikdo její přednášku neposlouchal. Všichni

listened to the lecture. Everyone was hleděli jen na to, jak si v tom vzrušení watching the way she felt her left breast šahala na levý prso. whenever she got excited. Friday September 18th

Pátek 18. září

2 a.m. Just got back from London. Coach 2:00 Zrovna jsme se vrátili z Londýna. driver suffered from motorway madness Autobusák propadl na dálnici dálničnímu on the motorway. I am too shaken by the šílenství.

Jsem

z

toho

záţitku

tak

experience to be able to give a lucid or vyklepanej, ţe o dnešku ani nemŧţu podat intelligent account of the day.

srozumitelnou nebo inteligentní zprávu.

Saturday September l9th

Sobota 19. září

The school may well want a clear account Je dost moţný, ţe budou ve škole chtít, aby by an unprejudiced observer of what nezaujatej pozorovatel podal jasnou zprávu happened on the way to, during and o tom, co se stalo během našeho výletu do coming back from our trip to London. I Londýna, včetně cesty tam a zpátky. Já am the only person qualified. Pandora, for jsem jediná zpŧsobilá osoba. Pandora, all her qualities, does not possess my navzdory všem svejm kvalitám, nemá mý

28

nerves of steel.

nervy ze ţeleza.

Class Four-D's Trip to the British Výlet třídy 4. D do Britského muzea Museum 7 a.m. Boarded coach.

7:00 Nástup do autobusu. 7:05

Konzumace

svačiny

a

7.05 Ate packed lunch, drank low-calorie nízkokalorického nápoje. drink.

7:10 Autobus zastavil, aby se Barry Kent

7.10 Coach stopped for Barry Kent to be mohl vyzvracet. sick.

7:20 Autobus zastavil, protoţe Claire

7.20 Coach stopped for Claire Neilson to Neilsonová musela na dámy. go to the Ladies. 7 .30 Coach left school drive.

7:30 Autobus opustil pozemek školy. 7:35 Autobus se vrátil do školy pro kabelku

7.35 Coach returned to school for Ms paní učitelky Fossington-Goreové. Fossington-Gore's handbag.

7:40 Zpozorováno, ţe řidič autobusu se

7.40 Coach driver observed to be chová divně. behaving oddly.

7:45 Autobus zastavil, aby se Barry Kent

7.45 Coach stopped for Barry Kent to be mohl zase vyzvracet. sick again. 7.55 Approached motorway.

7:55 Příjezd k dálnici. 8:00 Řidič zastavil autobus a poţádal

8 a.m. Coach driver stopped coach and všechny, aby přestali ukazovat na řidiče asked everyone to stop giving 'V signs to kamionŧ paroháče. lorry drivers.

8:10 Řidič autobusu ztrácí nervy, odmítá

8.10 Coach driver loses temper, refuses to pokračovat v jízdě, pokud si „ti zatracení drive on motorway until 'bloody teachers učitelé neohlídají svý spratky‖. control kids'.

8:20 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová

8.20 Ms Fossington-Gore gets everyone přiměje všechny zaujmout svá místa. sitting down. 29

8.25 Drive on to motorway. 8.30

Everyone

singing

8:25 Pokračuje se v cestě na dálnici. 'Ten

Green 8:30

Bottles'. 8.35

Everyone

Všichni

zpívají

„10

malých

zpívají

„10

malých

černouškŧ‖. singing

'Ten

Green 8:35

Snotrags'.

teplouškŧ‖.

8.45 Coach driver stops singing by 8:45 shouting very loudly.

Všichni

Řidič

autobusu

přerušuje

zpěv

hlasitým křikem.

9.15 Coach driver pulls in at service 9:15 Řidič autobusu přibrzďuje u benzínky station and is observed to drink heavily a je zpozorováno, ţe si vydatně dopřává from hip-flask.

z plácačky.

9.30 Barry Kent hands round bars of 9:30 Barry Kent rozdává čokoládové chocolate stolen from self-service shop at tyčinky, které ukradl v samoobsluze u service station. Ms Fossington- Gore čerpací stanice. Paní učitelka Fossingtonchooses Bounty bar.

Goreová si vybírá tyčinku Bounty.

9.40 Barry Kent sick in coach.

9:40 Barry Kent zvrací v autobuse.

9.50 Two girls sitting near Barry Kent are 9:50 Dvě děvčata sedící blízko Barryho sick.

Kenta zvrací.

9.51 Coach driver refuses to stop on 9:51 Řidič autobusu odmítá zastavit na motorway.

dálnici.

9.55 Ms Fossington-Gore covers sick in 9:55 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová sand.

zasypává zvratky pískem.

9.56 Ms Fossington-Gore sick as a dog.

9:56 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová

10:30 Coach crawls along on hard

zvrací jako alík.

shoulder, all other lanes closed for 10:30 Autobus se táhne v odstavném repairs. 11:30 Fight breaks out on back seat as

pruhu, všechny ostatní pruhy jsou zavřeny kvŧli opravám. 11:30 Kdyţ se autobus blíţí ke konci 30

coach approaches end of motorway.

dálnice, na zadním sedadle propuká boj.

11.45 Fight ends. Ms Fossington-Gore 11:45 Boj končí. Paní učitelka Fossingtonfinds first-aid kit and sees to wounds. Goreová nalézá lékárničku a ohledává Barry Kent is punished by sitting next to zranění. Barry Kent je za trest přesazen driver.

k řidiči.

11.50 Coach breaks down at Swiss 11:50 Autobus kolabuje v londýnské čtvrti Cottage.

Swiss Cottage.

11:55 Coach driver breaks down in front 11:55 of A A man.

Řidič

autobusu

kolabuje

před

mechanikem.

12.30 Class Four-D catch London bus to 12:30 Třída 4. D si přesedá do městského St Pancras.

autobusu směr čtvrť St Pancras.

1 p.m. Class Four-D walk from St 13:00 Třída 4. D jde ze St Pancrase pěšky Pancras through Bloomsbury.

přes čtvrť Bloomsbury.

1.15 Ms Fossington-Gore knocks on door 13:15 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová of Tavis-tock House, asks if Dr Laing klepe na dveře Tavistocké kliniky a ptá se, will give Barry Kent a quick going-over. jestli by Dr. Laing, přední britský psychiatr, Dr Laing in America on lecture tour. 1.30 Enter British Museum. Adrian Mole and Pandora Braithwaite awestruck by

nemohl udělat Barry Kentovi rychlou prohlídku. Dr. Laing je v Americe na přednáškovém turné.

evidence of heritage of World Culture. 13:30 Vstup do Britského muzea. Adrian Rest of class Four-D run berserk, Mole

a

Pandora

Braithwaiteová

jsou

laughing at nude statues and dodging naplněni úctou k svědectví o světovém curators.

kulturním dědictví. Zbytek třídy 4. D

2.15 Ms Fossington-Gore in state of collapse. Adrian Mole makes reversecharge

phone

call

to

zběsile pobíhá, směje se nahým sochám a prchá před dozorci.

headmaster. 14:15 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová ve

Headmaster in dinner lady strike-meeting, stavu zhroucení. Adrian Mole telefonuje can't be disturbed.

řediteli na účet volaného. Ředitel je na

31

3 p.m. Curators round up class Four-D stávce školních kuchařek, nesmí být rušen. and make them sit on steps of museum. 3.05

American

tourists

15:00 Dozorci pochytali třídu 4.D a

photograph donutili ji posedat si na schodiště před

Adrian Mole saying he is a 'cute English muzeem. schoolboy'.

15:05

Američtí

turisté

si

fotografují

3.15 Ms Fossington-Gore recovers and Adriana Molea se slovy, ţe je to „rozkošný leads class Four-D on sightseeing tour of anglický školák―. London.

15:15 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová se

4 p.m. Barry Kent jumps in fountain at vzpamatovává a vede třídu 4.D na okruţní Trafalgar Square, as predicted by Adrian prohlídku Londýnem. Mole.

16:00 Barry Kent skáče do fontány na

4.30 Barry Kent disappears, last seen Trafalgarském náměstí, přesně jak Adrian heading towards Soho.

Mole předpovídal.

4.35 Police arrive, take Four-D to mobile 16:30 Barry Kent mizí, naposledy spatřen, police unit, arrange coach back. Phone jak míří do vykřičené čtvrti Soho. parents about new arrival time. Phone headmaster at home. Claire Neilson has hysterical fit. Pandora Braithwaite tells Ms FossingtonGore she is a disgrace to teaching profession. Ms Fossington-Gore agrees to resign.

16:35 Přijíţdí policie, odváţí třídu 4.D na policejní stanici, zařizuje autobus na cestu zpátky. Volá rodičŧm nový čas příjezdu. Volá řediteli domŧ. Claire Neilsonová má hysterický záchvat. Pandora osočuje paní učitelku

Fossington-Goreovou,

ţe

je

6 p.m. Barry Kent found in sex shop. hanbou učitelské profese. Paní učitelka Charged with theft of `grow-it-big' cream Fossington-Goreová souhlasí s tím, ţe podá and two 'ticklers'.

výpověď.

7 p.m. Coach leaves police station with 18:00 Barry Kent nalezen v sexshopu. police escort.

Obviněn z krádeţe krému „Penis XXL― a

7.30 Police escort waves goodbye. 7.35

Coach

driver

begs

Pandora

dvou „dráţdidel―. 19:00

Autobus

opouští

v

policejním

32

Braithwaite to keep order.

doprovodu policejní stanici.

7.36 Pandora Braithwaite keeps order.

19:30 Policejní doprovod nám mává na

8

p.m.

Ms

Fossington-Gore

drafts

resignation.

rozloučenou. 19:35

8.30 Coach driver afflicted by motorway madness. 8.40 Arrive back. Tyres burning. Class Four-D struck dumb with terror. Ms

Řidič

autobusu

ţádá

Pandoru

Braithwaiteovou, aby si vzala na starosti pořádek. 19:36 Pandora Braithwaiteová se stará o pořádek.

Fossington-Gore led off by Mr Scruton. 20:00 Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová Parents up in arms. Coach driver charged sepisuje výpověď. by police.

20:30 Řidič autobusu je suţován dálničním šílenstvím. 20:40 Příjezd domŧ. Z pneumatik se kouří. Třída 4. D oněměla hrŧzou. Paní učitelka Fossington-Goreová odvedena ředitelem Scrutonem.

Rodiče

se

bouří.

Řidič

autobusu odveden policií. Sunday September 20th FOURTEENTH

Neděle 20. září

AFTER

TRINITY. ČTRNÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI.

MOON'S LAST QUARTER


Keep having anxiety attacks every time I think about London, culture or the M1. Pandora's parents are lodging an official complaint to everyone they can think of. Monday September 21st

Při vzpomínce na Londýn, kulturu nebo dálnici M1 mívám ještě pořád návaly úzkosti. Pandořiny rodiče podávají stíţnost, na koho si jen vzpomenou. Pondělí 21. září

Mr Scruton complimented Pandora and I Scruton nás s Pandorou pochválil za naše on

our

leadership

qualities.

Ms vŧdcovský

schopnosti.

Učitelka 33

Fossington-Gore is on sick leave. All Fossington-Goreová je na nemocenský. future school trips have been cancelled.

Všechny plánovaný výlety byly zrušeny.

Tuesday September 22nd

Úterý 22. září

The police have dropped charges against Policie stáhla obvinění proti autobusákovi, coach driver because there is èvidence of protoţe mají ―dŧkaz váţné provokace‖. severe provocation'. The sex shop are not Sexshop taky netrvá na obvinění, protoţe pressing charges either because officially Barry Kent je oficiálně ještě dítě. Dítě! Barry Kent is a child. A child! Barry Kent Bary Kent nikdy dítě nebyl! has never been a child. Wednesday September 23rd

Středa 23. září

Mr Scruton has now read my report on

Scruton si zrovna přečetl mou zprávu o

the trip to London. He gave me two merit výletu do Londýna. Dal mně za to dvě marks for it!

pochvaly.

It was on the news today that the British Dneska bylo ve zprávách, ţe Britský Museum is thinking of banning school museum zvaţuje zákaz vstupu školním parties.

skupinám.

Thursday September 24th


Pandora and I are enjoying the last of the S Pandorou si uţíváme konec podzimu autumn together by walking through společnejma

procházkama

napadeným

leaves and sniffing bonfires. This is the listím a nasáváním vŧně z táborákŧ. Je to first year I have been able to pass a horse- první rok, kdy jsem schopnej projít kolem chestnut tree without throwing a stick at kaštanu a neházet po něm klacky. it. Pandora says I am maturing very quickly.

Pandora říká, ţe strašně rychle dospívám.

Friday September 25th

Pátek 25. září

Went out conkering with Nigel tonight. I V noci jsem šel ven s Nigelem zahrát si found five big beauties and smashed našu oblíbenou hru s kaštanama. Našel jsem pět velkejch krasavcŧ a ty Nigelovy 34

Nigel's into pulp. Ha! Ha! Ha!

jsem s nima rozdrtil na padrť. Jsem vítěz! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Saturday September 26th

Sobota 26. září

Took Blossom to see Bert. He can't walk Vzal jsem Květinku na návštěvu k Bertovi. far these days.

On teď totiţ daleko nedojde.

Blossom is being sold to a rich family, a Květinku prodávají do jedné bohaté rodiny. girl called Camilla is going to learn to Holka, která se jmenuje Kamila, se na ní ride on her. Pandora says Camilla is so bude učit jezdit. Pandora říká, ţe Kamila je posh as to be unintelligible. Bert was takovej snobák, ţe kdyţ promluví, nejde jí dead sad, he said, 'You and me will both ani rozumět. Bert byl děsně smutnej. Řekl: end up in the knacker's yard, gel'.

―No jo, děvče moje, oba skončíme na jatkách.‖

Sunday September 27th

Neděle 27. září

FIFTEENTH AFTER TRINITY

PATNÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

Blossom went off at 10.30 a.m. I gave her Květinka odjela v 10:30. Dal jsem jí jabko a sixteen-pence apple to take her mind off za šestnáct pencí, aby přišla na jiný the heartbreak. Pandora ran after the little myšlenky. Pandora utíkala za malým horse-box shouting, 'I've changed my přepravním vozíkem na koně a křičela: mind', but it carried on.

―Rozmyslela

jsem si to―, ale nikdo

nezastavil. Pandora has also changed her mind about Pandora si to rozmyslela taky s Ianem Ian Smith. She never wants to see another Smithem. Uţ nikdy nechce vidět ţádnýho pony or horse again. She is guilt-ridden jinýho poníka nebo koně. Má výčitky about selling Blossom.

svědomí, ţe Květinku prodali.

Ian Smith turned up at 2.30 p.m. and was Ian Smithe přivezli v 14:30, ale dlouho se turned away. There was an evil look on tu neohřál. Kdyţ ho odváţeli, měl ve svý his black face as he stood in his horse-box černý tváři ďábelskej výraz. Otec Pandory and was driven away. Pandora's father is jde zítra brzo ráno do banky zrušit šek, going to his bank early tomorrow to kterej vypsal minulej čtvrtek. Taky měl ve 35

cancel the cheque he wrote out last tváři ďábelskej výraz. Thursday. There was an evil look on his face as well. Monday September 28th


NEW MOON

MĚSÍC V NOVU

Bert has got something wrong with his Bert má něco s nohama. Doktor tvrdí, ţe legs. The doctor says he needs daily potřebuje trvalou péči. Dneska jsem se nursing. I went in today but he is too k němu stavil, ale je šíleně těţkej na to, heavy for me to lug about. The district abych se s ním tahal. Ambulantní sestra si nurse think that Bert will be better off in myslí, ţe mu bude líp v Slunečním domě the Alderman Cooper Sunshine Home. Aldermana Coopera pro seniory. Já si to But I don't think he will. I pass by it on teda nemyslím. Po cestě do školy jsem my way to school. It looks like a procházel kolem. Vypadá jako muzeum. museum. 'The old people look like the Staří lidi vypadají jako exponáty. exhibits. Bert, you are dead old.

Seš děsně starej, Berte.

Fond of Sabre, beetroot and Woodbines.

Miluješ Šavli, řepu a Startky.

We have nothing in common,

Nemáme nic společnýho,

I am fourteen and a half,

Mně je čtrnáct a pŧl,

You are eighty-nine.

Tobě osmdesát devět.

You smell, I don't.

Ty zapácháš, já ne.

Why we are friends

Proč jsme my dva přátelé

Is a mystery to me.

To je pro mě záhada.


Úterý 29. září

Bert doesn't get on with his district nurse. Bert nemŧţe vystát svou ambulantní sestru. He says he doesn't like having his Říká, ţe nemá rád, kdyţ mu ţenská privates mauled about by a woman. osahává jeho choulostivý místa. Mně Personally, I wouldn't mind it.

osobně by to nevadilo.

36

Wednesday September 30th

Středa 30. září

I am glad September is nearly over, it has Jsem rád, ţe září uţ pomalu končí, byl to been nothing but trouble. Blossom gone. jeden velkej prŧšvih. Květinka fuč. Pandora Pandora sad. Bert on his last legs. My na prášky. Bert mele z posledního. Otec father still out of work. My mother still pořád bez práce. Matka pořád zblblá do besotted with creep Lucas.

toho slizouna Lucase.

Thursday October 1st

Čtvrtek 1. října

7.30 a.m. Just woke up to find chin 7:30 Zrovna jsem se vzbudil a zjistil, ţe covered in spots! How can I face mám bradu samej beďar! Jak se mŧţu Pandora?

takhle ukázat Pandoře?

10 p.m.. Avoided Pandora all day but she 22:00 Vyhýbal jsem se Pandoře celej den, caught up with me in school dinners. I ale ona si mě odchytla u obědŧ. Snaţil jsem tried to eat with my hand over my chin se jest s rukou před bradou, ale ukázalo se, but it proved very difficult. I confessed to ţe je to fakt těţký. Přiznal jsem se jí při her during the yoghurt. She accepted my jogurtu.

Přijala

mŧj

hendikep

dost

disability very calmly. She said it made pohodově. Řekla, ţe to na naší lásce nic no difference to our love but I couldn't nemění, ale kdyţ jsme se večer po klubu help thinking that her kisses lacked their mládeţe loučili, nemohl jsem se zbavit usual

passion

as

we

were

saying pocitu, ţe její polibky postrádaly obvyklou

goodnight after youth club.

vášeň.

Friday October 2nd

Pátek 2. října

6 a.m. I am very unhappy and have once 6:00 Jsem hrozně nešťastnej a zase jednou again turned to great literature for solace. hledám útěchu ve světový literatuře. Vŧbec It's no surprise to me that intellectuals mě nepřekvapuje, ţe intelektuálové páchají commit suicide, go mad or die from sebevraţdy, zmagoří anebo se uchlastají k drink. We feel things more than other smrti. Víme, ţe svět je prohnilej a brady people. We know the world is rotten and bývají

zohavený

beďarama.

Čtu

teď

that chins are ruined by spots. I am Pokrok, souţití a intelektuální svobodu od reading

Progress,

Coexistence

and Andreje D. Sakharova.

Intellectual Freedom, by Andrei D. 37

Sakharov. It is àn inestimably important document' Podle toho, co se píše na obale, to je according to the cover.

―neskonale dŧleţitý dokument‖.

11.30 p.m.. Progress, Coexistence and 23:30 Podle mě, Adriana Mola, je Pokrok, Intellectual Freedom is in estimably souţití a intelektuální svoboda dokument boring, according to me, Adrian Mole.

neskonale nudnej.

I disagree with Sakharov's analysis of the Nesouhlasím s Sakharovou analýzou příčin causes of the revivalism of Stalinism. We revivalismu stalinismu. Zrovna probíráme are doing Russia at school so I speak Rusko ve škole, takţe o tom něco vím. from knowledge. Saturday October 3rd

Sobota 3. října

Pandora is cooling off. She didn't turn up Pandořiny city začínají chladnout. Dneska at Bert's today. I had to do his cleaning on se neobjevila u Berta. Musel jsem dělat my own.

celej úklid sám.

Went to Sainsbury's as usual in the Odpoledne jsem šel jako vţdycky do afternoon; they are selling Christmas obchoďáku k Sainsburymu; uţ prodávají cakes. I feel that my life is slipping away.

vánočky. Cítím, jak mně ţivot utíká mezi prstama.

I am reading Wuthering Heights. It is Čtu Na větrné hůrce. Je to parádní. brilliant. If I could get Pandora up Kdybych dostal Pandoru někam pořádně somewhere high, I'm sure we could vysoko, jsem si jistej, ţe by se v nás zase regain our old passion.

probudila vášeň.

Sunday October 4th

Neděle 4. října

SIXTEENTH AFTER TRINITY

ŠESTNÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

Persuaded Pandora to put her name down Přesvědčil jsem Pandoru, aby se v klubu for the youth club's mountain survival mládeţe

zapsala

course in Derbyshire. Rick Lemon is Derbyshireských sending an equipment list and permission rozesílá

rodičŧm

do kurzu horách.

přeţití

Rick

seznam

v

Lemon

potřebnýho 38

form to our parents. Or in my case to my vybavení a přihlášku k podepsání. No, i parent. I have only got two weeks to kdyţ v mým případě to posílá jen jednomu reach peak condition. I try to do fifty rodiči. Mám pouhý dva týdny na to, abych press-ups a night. I try to do them but fail. se dostal do vrcholový kondice. Kaţdej Seventeen is my best so far.

večer se snaţím udělat padesát klikŧ. Fakt se snaţím, ale ňák to nejde. Mŧj rekord je zatím sedmnáct.

Monday October 5th

Pondělí 5. října

Bert has been kidnapped by social Berta unesla sociálka! Drţí ho v Slunečním Services! They are keeping him at the domě Aldermana Coopera pro seniory. Byl Alderman Cooper Sunshine Home. I have jsem se za ním mrknout. Má pokoj spolu been to see him. He shares a room with s jedním starým chlápkem. Jmenuje se an old man called Thomas Bell. They Thomas Bell. Kaţdej má podepsanej svŧj have both got their names on their vlastní popelník. Šavle má novej bejvák ashtrays. Sabre has got a place in the v psím útulku, kterej vede spolek na RSPCA hostel.

ochranu zvířat.

Our dog has gone missing. It is a portent Náš pes je nezvěstnej. Je to předzvěst of doom.

zkázy.

Tuesday October 6th

Úterý 6. října

MOON'S FIRST QUARTER

MĚSÍC V PRVNÍ ČTVRTI

Pandora and I went to visit Bert, but it Šli jsme s Pandorou navštívit Berta, ale was a waste of time really.

byla to ztráta času, a to doslova.

His room had a strange effect on us, it Jeho pokoj měl na nás divnej vliv. Nechtělo made us not want to talk about anything. se nám vŧbec o ničem mluvit. Bert říká, ţe Bert says he is going to sue social sociálku zaţaluje, protoţe ho zbavuje Services, for depriving him of his rights. základních práv. Říká, ţe musí chodit spát He says he has to go to bed at nine-thirty! v devět třicet! Není to fér, protoţe je It is not fair because he is used to staying zvyklej ponocovat.

Cestou ven jsme šli

up until after The Epilogue. We passed kolem společenské místnosti. Staří lidi 39

the lounge on our way out. The old seděli na vysokých ţidlích okolo zdi. Jela people sat around the walls in high chairs. telka, ale nikdo se nekoukal. Všichni The television was on but nobody was vypadali, ţe o něčem přemýšlí. watching it, the old people looked as though they were thinking. Social services have painted the walls Sociálka

nechala

vymalovat

zdi

na

orange to try to cheer the old people up. It oranţovo, aby zvedla těm starouškŧm doesn't seem to have worked.

náladu. Očividně to nezabralo.

Wednesday October 7th

Středa 7. října

Thomas Bell died in the night. Bert says V noci umřel Thomas Bell. Bert říká, ţe se that nobody leaves the home alive. Bert is odsud nikdo nedostane ţivej. Bert je tady the oldest inmate. He is dead worried nejstarší. Má děsnej strach ze smrti. Je about dying. He is now the only man in teďka jedinej chlap v celým domově. the entire home. Pandora says that Pandora říká, ţe ţeny muţe přeţívají. Říká, women outlive men. She says it is a sort ţe je to něco jako odměna za to, ţe si ţeny of bonus because women have to suffer musely předtím víc vytrpět. more earlier on. Our dog is still missing. I have put an Náš pes je pořád nezvěstnej. Vyvěsil jsem advert in Mr Cherry's Shop.

letáky v obchodě pana Cherryho.

Thursday October 8th

Čtvrtek 8. října

Bert is still alive so I took sabre to visit Bert je ještě naţivu, tak jsem mu dnes him today. We propped Bert up at the přivedl na návštěvu Šavli. Podpírali jsme window of his room and he waved to Berta u okna jeho pokoje, aby mohl Šavli, Sabre who was on the lawn outside. Dogs kterej byl venku na trávníku, zamávat. Psi are not allowed inside the home. It is do domova nesmí. Je to další z jejich another of their poxy rules.

přiblblejch pravidel.

Our dog is still missing, now presumed Náš pes je pořád nezvěstnej. Zřejmě uţ dead.

umřel.

40

Friday October 9th

Pátek 9. října

The matron of the home says that if Bert Vrchní sestra domova říká, ţe kdyţ bude is dead good he can come out for the day Bert sekat dobrotu, bude moct jít v neděli on Sunday. He is coming to our house for na celej den ven. Přijde k nám na sváteční Sunday dinner and tea. The phone bill has oběd a sváču. Přišel telefonní účet. Schoval come. I have hidden it under my mattress. jsem ho pod matraci. Je na 289 liber 19 It is for Ł289.19p.

pencí.

Saturday October l0th

Sobota 10. října

I am really worried about our dog. It has Mám váţnej strach o našeho psa. Zmizel z vanished off the face of our suburb. povrchu naší čtvrti. S Nigelem a Pandorou Nigel, Pandora and I have walked the cul- jsme prošli všechny slepý uličky, kdyţ desacs looking for it.

jsme ho hledali.

Another worry is my father. He lies in Strach mám i o otce. Válí se v posteli do bed until noon, then fries a mess in a pan, oběda, pak si na pánvi usmaţí ňákej blivajs, eats it, opens a can or bottle, then sits and sní ho, otevře si plechovku nebo flašku, watches After Noon Plus. He is making sedne si k telce a sleduje odpolední no attempt to find another job. He needs a programy. Vŧbec se nesnaţí najít si novou bath, a haircut and a shave. It is Parents' práci. Potřeboval by se vykoupat, ostříhat a Night at school next Tuesday. I have oholit. Příští úterý jsou ve škole rodičovský taken his best suit to the cleaner's.

schŧzky. Dal jsem mu jeho nejlepší oblek do čistírny.

I bought a book from W. H. Smith's, it Koupil jsem si kníţku v knihkupectví W. was only five pence. It was written by an H. Smithe. Stála jenom pět pencí. Napsal to unsuccessful

writer

called

Drake jeden neúspěšnej autor Drake Fairclough a

Fairclough; it is called Cordon Bleu for jmenuje se to Cordon Bleu pro starší the Elderly. Bert is coming tomorrow. gurmány. Zítra přijde Bert. Pandořin otec Pandora's father has ordered their phone nechal odmontovat telefon. Přišel na ty to be taken out. He has found out about hovory na účet volanýho. the reverse-charge calls.

41

Sunday October 11th

Neděle 11. října

SEVENTEENTH AFTER TRINITY

SEDMNÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

BERT'S VISIT

BERTOVA NÁVŠTĚVA

I got up early this morning and cleared Vstal jsem brzo ráno a odklidil nábytek z the furniture out of the hall so that Bert's haly, aby měl Bertŧv vozík místo k wheelchair had room for manoeuvre. I manévrování. Udělal jsem otci kafe a made my father a cup of coffee and took donesl mu ho nahoru do postele. Pak jsem it up to him in bed, then I started cooking začal vařit kohouta na víně pro seniory. geriatric coq au vin. I left it on to boil Nechal jsem to vařit a šel nahoru vzbudit whilst I went back upstairs to reawaken znovu otce. Kdyţ jsem se vrátil, bylo jasný, my father. When I got downstairs I knew ţe jsem z kohouta na víně udělal záprtka. that I'd made a mess of the coq au vin. All Všechen ocet se vyvařil a zŧstalo spálený the vinegar had boiled away and left kuře. Nejvíc mě mrzelo, ţe jsem si pŧvodně burnt chicken. I was most disappointed myslel, ţe dnes budu mít svŧj kuchařskej because I was thinking of making my debut. Chtěl jsem ohromit Pandoru svým debut as a cook today. I wanted to všestranným talentem. Myslím si, ţe ju impress Pandora with my multi talents, I moje řeči o světový literatuře a norským think she is getting a bit bored with my koţedělním prŧmyslu začínají krapánek conversation about great literature and the nudit. Norwegian leather industry. Bert insisted on bringing a big trunk with Kdyţ přijel Pandořin otec pro Berta do him when Pandora's father picked him up domova, Bert trval na tom, ţe si s sebou at the home. So what with that and his vezme velkej loďák. Takţe, kdyţ se loďák, wheelchair and Bert sprawling all over vozík a Bert roztáhli na zadním sedadle, the back seat I was forced to crouch in the nezbývalo mně nic jinýho, neţ se mačkat u hatch of the hatchback car. It took ages to zadních dveří kufru. Trvalo to věčnost get Bert out of the car and into his dostat Berta z auta a posadit ho do vozíku. wheelchair. Almost as long as it took me Skoro tak dlouho, jak mně trvalo dostat to get my father out of bed.

otce z postele.

Pandora's father stayed for a quick drink, Pandořin otec zŧstal na jednu rychlou 42

then a pre-lunch one, then a chaser, then skleničku, pak na jednu před obědem, pak one for the road. Then he had one to na jednu na spláchnutí, a pak na jednu na prove that he never got drunk during the cestu. Pak si dal ještě jednu, aby dokázal, day. Pandora's lips started to go thin ţe se nikdy ve dne neztřískal. Pandořiny rty (women must teach young girls to do se začaly zuţovat (zkušený ţenský určitě this). Then she confiscated her father's car učí mladý holky, jak se to má správně keys and phoned her mother to come and dělat). Potom zabavila otci klíčky od auta a collect the car. I had to endure watching zavolala své matce, aby si přišla pro auto. my father do his imitation of some bloke Musel jsem přetrpět podívanou na otce, jak called Frank Sinatra singing Òne for my napodobuje ňákýho Franka Sinatru a zpívá baby and one more for the road'. Pan- ―Jednu za svou milou a ještě jednu na dora's father pretended to be the bartender cestu‖. Pandořin otec si hrál s naším with our Tupperware custard jug. They dţbánkem na pudink a předstíral, ţe je were

both

drunkenly

singing when barman. Oba si zrovna opile vyzpěvovali,

Pandora's mother came in. Her lips were kdyţ vešla Pandořina matka. Měla tak so thin they had practically disappeared. sevřený rty, ţe nebyly skoro ani vidět. She ordered Pandora and Pandora's father Odvelela Pandoru a Pandořina otce do auta, out into the car, then she said that it was pak řekla, ţe je na čase, aby se mŧj otec dal about time my father pulled himself do kopy. Řekla, ţe ví, ţe se otec cítí together. She said she knew my father felt poníţenej, opuštěnej a zahořklej, protoţe je humiliated, alienated and bitter because bez práce, ale ţe dává špatnej příklad he was unemployed, but that he was citlivýmu mladíkovi. Pak odjela rychlostí setting

a

bad

example

to

an 15 km/h. Pandora mně přes zadní sklo

impressionable adolescent. Then she poslala pusu. drove off at 10 mph. Pandora blew me a kiss through the rear windscreen. I object strongly! Nothing my father does Ani omylem nesouhlasím! Nic co otec impresses me any more. Had Vesta curry udělá, na mě uţ nemá ţádnej vliv. Na véču and rice for dinner, during which Mrs jsem měl polotovar hovězí na kari s rýţí, Singh came round and talked Hindi to během který se stavila paní Singhová a Bert. She seemed to find our curry very mluvila s Bertem hindštinou. Vypadalo to, funny, she kept pointing to it and ţe se pěkně baví nad naším kari, pořád na 43

laughing, Sometimes I think I am the only to ukazovala a smála se. Někdy si myslím, person in the world who still has ţe jsem jedinej člověk na světě, kterej má manners.

ještě vychování.

Bert told my father that he is convinced Bert řekl otci, ţe je přesvědčenej, ţe ho the matron is trying to poison him (Bert, chce vrchní sestra otrávit (Berta, ne otce). not my father), but my father said that all Ale otec mu na to řekl, ţe všechny ústavní institutional food is the same. When it jídla jsou stejný. Kdyţ uţ bylo na čase was time to go home, Bert started crying. vrátit se do domova, Bert začal brečet. He said, `Don't make me go back there', Říkal: ―Nenuťte mě se tam vracet‖, a jiný and other sad things. My father explained dojemný věci. Otec mu vysvětloval, ţe that we didn't have the skill to look after bysme se o něj neuměli doma postarat, tak him at our house, so Bert was wheeled to jsme ho odvezli na vozíku k autu (i kdyţ the car (although he kept putting the celou cestu dupal na brzdu). Poprosil nás, brake of the wheelchair on). He asked us abysme si nechali jeho loďák u sebe. Řekl, to keep his trunk at our house. He said it ţe ho máme otevřít po jeho smrti. Klíč má was to be opened on his death. The key is na šňŧrce okolo krku. round his neck on a bit of string. Dog is still AWOL,

Pes je pořád na útěku.

Monday October 12th


COLUMBUS

DAY,

USA. KOLUMBŦV DEN V USA.

THANKSGIVING DAY, CANADA Went to the 'off-the-streets' youth club tonight. Rick Lemon gave us a lecture on survival techniques. He said that the best thing to do if you are suffering from hypothermia is to climb into a plastic bag with a naked woman. Pandora made a formal objection, and Rick Lemon's girlfriend, Tit, got up and walked away. It is just my luck to be on the mountain with

DEN DÍKŦVZDÁNÍ V KANADĚ Dneska večer jsem šel do klubu mládeţe ―Nechceme ţít na ulici‖. Rick Lemon nám dal přednášku o technikách přeţití. Řekl nám, ţe kdyţ trpíš podchlazením, nejlepší je

zalézt

si

s

nahatou

ţenskou

do

igelitovýho pytle. Pandora měla námitky a holka Ricka Lemona, Tita, se zvedla a odešla. To je teda pech jet na hory s frigidní

44

a frigid woman!

ţenskou!

RIP Dog.

Odpočívej v pokoji, pejsku!

Tuesday October 13th

Úterý 13. října

FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

Had an angry phone call from my Volala mně rozzuřená bábí a ptala se, kdy grandma to ask when we were coming uţ si konečně přijedeme pro psa! Ten round to collect the dog! The stupid dog blboun jeden se u ní objevil 6. října. Hned turned up at her house on the 6th October. jsem tam mazal a byl jsem v šoku, v jakým I went round immediately and was byl stavu: je jakejsi starej a šedivej. shocked at the dog's condition: it looks old and grey. In human years it is eleven years old. In Lidských let je mu jedenáct. Podle psího dog years it should be drawing a pension. kalendáře uţ by bral dŧchod. Ještě nikdy I have never seen a dog age so quickly. jsem neviděl, aby pes zestárnul tak rychle. Those eight days with grandma must have Těch osm dní s babičkou muselo bejt peklo. been hell. My grandma is very strict.

Babička je pěknej pedant.

Wednesday October 14th

Středa 14. října

1 have nearly got used to the old ladies in Uţ jsem si pomalu zvykl na stařenky z the home now. I call in every afternoon domova. Chodím tam kaţdý odpoledne po on my way home from school. They seem cestě domŧ ze školy. Vypadají, ţe mě rády pleased to see me. One of them is knitting vidí. Jedna z nich mně plete kuklu na me a balaclava for my survival weekend. víkend „přeţití‖. Jmenuje se Queenie. She is called Queenie. Did thirty-six and a half press-ups Dneska večer jsem udělal třicet šest a pŧl tonight.

kliku.

Thursday October 15th

Čtvrtek 15. října

Went to the youth club to try yukky, Šel jsem do klubu mládeţe vyzkoušet si lousy old walking boots for size. Rick fujtajblový, odporný, starý pohorky, abych 45

Lemon

has

hired

them

from

a měl správnou velikost. Rick Lemon je

mountaineering shop. To make mine fit I pŧjčil z obchodu pro horolezce. Aby mně ty have to wear three pairs of socks. Six of moje seděly, musím mít na noze troje us are going. Rick is leading us.

ponoţky. Jede nás šest. Rick nás povede.

He is unqualified but experienced in Nemá kvalifikaci, ale má zkušenosti s surviving bad conditions. He was born přeţitím v tvrdejch podmínkách. Narodil se and brought up in Kirby New Town. I a vyrŧstal ve městečku Kirby v Newtownu. went to Sainsbury's and bought my Šel jsem do obchoďáku k Saisburymu a survival food. We have got to carry our nakoupil jsem si zásoby. Musíme si nýst food and equipment in our rucksacks, so jídlo a výbavu sami v baťohu, takţe váha je weight is an important factor. I bought:

dost dŧleţitá. Koupil jsem:

1 box cornflakes

1 krabici kornflejkŧ

2 pints milk

2 litry mlíka

box tea-bags

Krabičku sáčkovýho čaje

tin rhubarb

Konzervu rebarbory

5 lb spuds

2 kg brambor

½ lb lard

250 g sádla

½ lb butter

250 g másla

2 loaves bread

2 bochníky chleba

1 lb cheese

40 dkg sýru

2 packets biscuits

2 balíčky sušenek

2 lb sugar

1 kg cukru

toilet roll

Toaleťák

washing-up liquid

Jar

2 tins tuna

2 konzervy tuňáku

l tin stewed steak

1 konzervu masa ve vlastní šťávě

1 tin carrots

1 konzervu mrkve

I could hardly carry my survival food Horko

těţko

jsem

odnesl

zásoby

z

home from Sainsbury's, so how I will obchoďáku, takţe by mě zajímalo, jak to 46

manage it on a march across the hills I zmáknu při pochodu v horách! Otec mně don't know! My father suggested leaving navrhl

nechat

něco

doma.

Tak

asi

something out. So I have not packed the nenabalím toaleťák nebo kornflejky. toilet roll or cornflakes. Friday October l6th

Pátek 16. října

Have decided not to take my diary to Rozhodl jsem se nebrat s sebou do Derbyshire. I cannot guarantee that it will Derbyshiru deník. Neměl bych jistotu, ţe se not be read by hostile eyes. Besides it nedostane do nesprávnejch ruk. A kromě won't fit into my rucksack.

toho se mi nevejde do báglu.

Must finish now, the mini-bus is outside Musím končit, venku uţ vyřvává minibus. papping its hooter. Saturday October l7th

Sobota 17. října

Sunday October 18th

Neděle 18. října

EIGHTEENTH AFTER TRINITY

OSMNÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

8 p.m. It is wonderful to be back in 8:00 To je nádhera bejt zpátky v civilizaci! civilization! I have lived like an ignoble savage for the Poslední

dva

dny

jsem

ţil

jako

past two days! Sleeping on rough ground prachsprostej primitiv! Spát na hrbolaté with only a sleeping-bag between me and zemi s pouhopouhým spacákem mezi mnou the elements! Trying to cook chips over a a vším, co se tam hemţí! Snaţit se udělat si tiny primus stove! Trudging through hranolky na mrňavým vařiči! Brodit se přes streams in my torturous boots! Having to potoky s těma hrŧzama na nohách! Muset perform my natural functions out in the vykonávat svý přirozený potřeby pod širým open! Wiping my bum on leaves! Not nebem! Utírat si zadek listím! Ţádný being able to have a bath or clean my koupání ani čištění zubŧ! Ţádná televize teeth! No television or radio or anything! ani rádio nebo něco takovýho! Rick Lemon Rick Lemon wouldn't even let us sit in the nás dokonce nechtěl pustit do mikrobusu, mini-bus when it started to rain! He said kdyţ začalo pršet! Řekl, ţe si máme vyrobit we ought to make a shelter out of nature's přístřešek z darŧ přírody! Pandora našla 47

bounty! Pandora found a plastic animal- igelitovej pytel od ţrádla pro zvířata, tak food sack so we took it in turns sitting jsme se pod ním na střídačku schovávali. under it. How I survived I don't know. My eggs Jak jsem přeţil, to váţně nevím. Vajíčka se broke, my bread got saturated, my rozbily, chleba se rozmáčel, sušenky biscuits got crushed and nobody had a rozdrobily a nikdo neměl otvírák na tinopener. I nearly starved. Thank God konzervy. Málem jsem umřel hlady. Sýr, cheese doesn't leak, break, soak up water díky

Bohu,

or come in a tin. I was glad when we nenasakuje

neteče, vodou

a

nedá

se

nevyrábí

rozbít, se

v

were found and taken to the Mountain konzervě. Byl jsem rád, kdyţ nás našli a Rescue headquarters. Rick Lemon was odvedli na stanici horský sluţby. Ricku told off for not having a map or compass. Lemonu vynadali za to, ţe nemá mapu ani Rick said he knew the hills like the back kompas. Rick řekl, ţe zná hory jako svý of his hand. The chief mountain rescuer boty. Velitel horský sluţby řekl, ţe mu je said that Rick must have been wearing někdo musel vyměnit, protoţe jsme byli pět gloves because we were seven miles from kilákŧ od našeho mikrobusu a šli jsme our mini-bus and heading in the wrong opačným směrem! direction! I shall now sleep in a bed for the first Teď budu poprvé po dvou dnech spát v time in two days. No school tomorrow posteli.

Zítra

školu

because of blisters.

puchýřŧm.

Monday October 19th


vynechám

kvŧli

I have got to rest my feet for two days. Dva dny musím dát nohám oddech. Doktor Doctor Gray was very unpleasant: he said Gray byl dost nepříjemnej: řekl, ţe ho that he resented being called out for a few foot blisters.

vytáčí, kdyţ ho někdo volá kvŧli pár puchýřkŧm na nohách.

I was very surprised at his attitude. It is a Dost mě jeho postoj překvapil. Kaţdej well-known fact that mountaineers get přece ví, ţe alpinisti dostávají do nohou gangrene of the toes.

gangrénu.

48

Tuesday October 20th

Úterý 20. října

MOON'S LAST QUARTER


Here I am lying in bed unable to walk Tak si tu leţím v posteli, protoţe nemŧţu because of excruciating pain and my chodit kvŧli té ubíjející bolesti, a otec plní father

carries

out

his

parental svý rodičovský povinnosti tím, ţe mi sem

responsibilities by throwing a few bacon třikrát denně švihne pár sendvičŧ se sandwiches at me three times a day!

slaninou!

If my mother doesn't come home soon I Jestli se matka brzo nevrátí domŧ, budu will end up deprived and maladjusted. I nakonec

sociálně

deprimovanej

am already neglected.

narušenej. Uţ teď jsem zanedbanej.

Wednesday October 21st

Středa 21. října

a

Hobbled to school. All the teachers were Dobelhal jsem se do školy. Všichni učitelé wearing their best clothes because it is měli na sobě svoje nejlepší oblečení, Parents' Evening tonight. My father got protoţe jsou večer třídní schŧzky. Otec si cleaned up and put his best suit on. He nechal kvŧli tomu vyčistit svŧj nejlepší looked OK, Thank God! Nobody could oblek. Vypadal v pohodě, díky Bohu! tell he was unemployed. My teachers all Nikdo by nepoznal, ţe je bez práce. told him that I was a credit to the school.

Všichni učitelé mu řekli, ţe dělám škole čest!

Barry Kent's father was looking as sick as Otec Barryho Kenta vypadal, ţe to s ním a pig. Ha! Ha! Ha!

kaţdou chvílu sekne. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Thursday October 22nd


Limped half-way to school. Dog followed Odkulhal jsem na pŧl cesty do školy. Pes me. Limped back home. Shut dog in coal šel za mnou. Odkulhal jsem zpátky domŧ. shed. Limped all the way to school. Zavřel jsem psa do kŧlny na uhlí. Odkulhal Fifteen minutes late. Mr Scruton said it jsem

celou

cestu

was not setting a good example for the patnáctiminutovým

aţ

do

zpoţděním.

školy.

S

Scruton

late prefect to be late. It is all right for řekl, ţe jako dozorce pozdních příchodŧ him to talk! He can ride to school in a nedávám svým pozdním příchodem zrovna 49

Ford Corona and then all he has to do is dobrej příklad. To se mu to kecá! Jezdí si be in charge of a school. I have got a lot do školy Fordem Coronou a jediný, co pak of problems and no car.

musí, je postarat se o jednu školu. Já mám hromadu problémŧ a ţádný auto.

Friday October 23rd

Pátek 23. října

I have had a letter from the hospital to say Dostal

jsem

dopis

z

nemocnice

s

that I have got to have my tonsils out on oznámením, ţe v úterý 27. mně budou trhat Tuesday the twenty-seventh. This has mandle. Přišlo to jako blesk z čistýho nebe! come as a complete shock to me! My Otec tvrdí, ţe jsem byl na čekací listině uţ father says I have been on the waiting list od pěti! Takţe jsem si musel posledních since I was five years old! So I have had devět let vytrpět kaţdoroční nápor angíny to endure an annual bout of tonsillitis for jen proto, ţe je naše zdravotnictví švorc! nine years just because the National Health Service is starved of finance! Why can't midwives remove babies' Proč nemŧţou porodní báby odstranit tonsils at birth? It would save-a lot of mandle dětem uţ při narození? Ušetřilo by trouble, pain and money.

to spoustu starostí, bolesti a peněz.

Saturday October 24th

Sobota 24. října

UNITED NATIONS' DAY

DEN SPOJENÝCH NÁRODŦ

Went shopping for new dressing gown, Šel jsem si koupit novej ţupan, papuče, slippers, pyjamas, and toiletries. My pyţamo a toaletní potřeby. Otec jako father was moaning as usual. He said he vţdycky remcal. Říkal, ţe nechápe, proč didn't see why I couldn't just wear my old bych si do nemocnice prostě nemohl vzít night-clothes in hospital. I told him that I svý starý věci na spaní. Řekl jsem mu, ţe would look ridiculous in my Peter Pan bych v ţupanu s Petrem Panem a v pyţamu dressing gown and Winnie the Pooh s Medvídkem Pú vypadal nemoţně. Kromě pyjamas. Apart from the yukky design děsnýho vzoru mně jsou navíc malý a plný they are too small and covered in patches. záplat. Řekl, ţe kdyţ byl on malej, spával v He said that when he was a lad he slept in noční košili sešité ze dvou pytlŧ od uhlí. a nightshirt made out of two coal sacks Zavolal jsem babičce, abych si jeho 50

stitched together. I phoned my grandma podezřelej výrok ověřil, takţe otec byl to check this suspicious statement and my nucenej to do telefonu zopakovat. Babička father was forced to repeat it down the řekla, ţe to nebyly pytle od uhlí, ale od phone. My grandma said that they were mouky, takţe teď vím, ţe je mŧj otec not coal sacks but flour sacks, so I now patologickej lhář! know that my father is a pathological liar! My hospital rig came to fifty-four pounds Má nemocniční výstroj přišla na padesát nineteen; this is before fruit, chocolates čtyři liber devatenáct; a to nepočítám ještě and Lucozade. Pandora said I looked like ovoce, čokolády a energetickej nápoj. Noѐl Coward in my new bri-nylon Pandora řekla, ţe v tom novým ţupanu z dressing gown. I said, `Thanks, Pandora', nylonu vypadám jako Noѐl Coward. Řekl although to be honest I don't know who jsem: „Díky, Pandoro―, i kdyţ, abych Noѐl Coward is or was. I hope he's not a pravdu řekl, nevím, kdo Noѐl Coward je mass murderer or anything.

nebo byl. Doufám, ţe to není masovej vrah nebo tak něco.

Sunday October 25th NINETEENTH

AFTER

Neděle 25. října TRINITY. DEVATENÁCTÁ PO SV. TROJICI.

BRITISH SUMMER TIME ENDS Phoned my mother to tell her about my coming surgical ordeal. No reply. This is typical. She would sooner be out having fun with creep Lucas than comforting her only child!

KONČÍ BRITSKÝ LETNÍ ČAS Volal jsem matce, abych jí řekl o svým blíţícím se chirurgickým utrpení. Nikdo to nebral. Jak typický! Radši si uţívá venku s tím slizounem Lucasem, neţ aby utěšovala svý jediný dítě!

Grandma rang and said that she knew Volala babička, aby mi řekla, ţe znala somebody who knew somebody who někoho, kdo znal někoho, kdo znal někoho, knew somebody who had their tonsils out komu trhali mandle a vykrvácel jim na and bled to death on the operating theatre operačním

stole.

Ukončila

to

slovy:

table. She ended up by saying, `Don't „Neboj, Adriane, jsem si jistá, ţe u tebe worry Adrian, I'm sure everything will be proběhne všechno v pořádku‖.

51

all right for you'. Thanks a million, grandma!

Ti teda pěkně děkuju, babi!

Monday October 26th


BANK HOLIDAY IN THE REP. OF STÁTNÍ SVÁTEK V IRSKÉ REP. IRELAND

11:00 Nabalil jsem se a šel se mrknout za

11 a.m. I did my packing, then went to Bertem. Jde to s ním rychle z kopce, takţe see Bert. He is sinking fast so it could be se moţná vidíme naposledy. Bert taky zná the last time we see each other. Bert also někoho, kdo vykrvácel po odebrání mandlí. knows somebody who bled to death after Doufám, ţe je to ten samej člověk. a tonsils' extraction. I hope it's the same person. Said goodbye to Pandora: she wept very Rozloučil jsem se s Pandorou: brečela fakt touchingly. She brought me one of dojemně.

Přinesla

mně

jednu

z

Blossom's old horseshoes to take into květinčiných starých podkov, abych si ju hospital. She said a friend of her father vzal s sebou do nemocnice. Řekla, ţe had a cyst removed and didn't come out kamarádovi jejího otce odstraňovali ňákou of the anaesthetic. I'm being admitted to cystu a uţ se neprobral z narkózy. V 14:00 Ivy Swallow Ward at 2 p.m. Greenwich jdu na příjem na krčním oddělení. Mean Time. 6 p.m. My father has just left my bedside 18:00 Otec zrovna odešel, potom co čtyři after four hours of waiting around for hodiny čekal u mý postele, aţ dostane permission to leave. I have had every part povolení. Vyšetřili mně kaţdej kousíček of my body examined. Liquid substances těla. Vzali mně všemoţný tekutiny, zváţili have been taken from me, I have been mě a vykoupali, změřili, proklepali a weighed and bathed, measured and prohmatali, ale nikdo se mně nemrknul do prodded and poked, but nobody has krku! looked in my throat! I have put our family medical dictionary Na noční stolek jsem poloţil náš rodinnej on my bedside table so that the doctors lékařskej slovník, aby si ho doktoři všimli a 52

see it and are impressed. I can't tell what udělalo to na ně dojem. Jak vypadá zbytek the rest of the ward is like yet because the oddělení, zatím netuším, protoţe sestřičky nurses have forgotten to remove the zapomněly oddělat zástěny. Nad postel mně screens. A notice has been hung over my pověsili velkej nápis: „Pouze tekutiny―. bed; it say `Liquids Only'. I am dead Jsem pěkně vyklepanej. scared. 10. p.m. I‘m starving! A black nurse has 22:00 Umírám hlady! Ňáká černá sestřička taken all my food and drink away. I am mně odnesla všechno jídlo a pití. Měl bych supposed to go to sleep but it is like uţ jít spát, ale je to tady pěkná divočina. bedlam in here. Old men keep falling out Staří chlápci neustále padají z postelí. of bed. Midnight. There is a new notice over my Pŧlnoc. Nad postelí mám novej nápis: bed; it says `Nil by Mouth'. I am dying of „Ţádná strava―. Asi leknu ţízní! Dal bych thirst! I would give my right arm for a pravou ruku i za plechovku dietní limči. can of Low Cal. Tuesday October 27th

Úterý 27. října

NEW MOON

MĚSÍC V NOVU

4 a.m. I am dehydrated!

4:00 Jsem dehydrovanej!

б a.m. Just been woken up! Operation is 6:00 Zrovna mě vzbudili! Operace nebude not until 10 a.m. So why couldn't they let dřív neţ v 10:00. Tak proč mě nemŧţou me sleep? I have got to have another bath. nechat vyspat? Musím se jít zase vykoupat. I told them that it is the inside of my body Říkal jsem jim, ţe mně mají operovat that is being operated on, but they don't zevnitř, a ne zvenku, ale neposlouchali. listen. 7. a.m. A Chinese nurse stayed in the 7:00 V koupelně zŧstala jedna čínská bathroom to make sure I didn't drink any sestřička, aby pohlídala, ţe se nenapiju water. She kept staring so I had to put a vody. Pořád zírala, tak jsem si musel přes hospital sponge over my thing.

svý nádobíčko dát nemocniční hubku.

7.30 a.m. I am dressed like a lunatic, 7:30 Oblíkli mě jako blázna, takţe jsem 53

ready for the operation. I have had an připravenej na operaci. Dostal jsem injekci, injection, it is supposed to make you po který bych měl usnout, ale jsem čilej sleepy but I'm wide awake listening to a jako rybička, a poslouchám hádku o row about a patient's lost notes.

ztracenejch záznamech ňákýho pacienta.

8 a.m. My mouth is completely dry, I 8:00 Mám totálně sucho v puse, asi mně z shall go' mad from thirst, I haven't had a té ţízně hrábne. Nepil jsem od včerejška od drink since nine forty-five last night. I tři čtvrtě na deset večer. Cítím se pěkně feel very floaty, the cracks in the ceiling vláčnej, praskliny na stropě jsou fakt are very interesting. I have got to find zajímavý. Musím někde najít skrýš pro svŧj somewhere to hide my diary. I don't want deník. Nechcu, aby si ho ňácí slídivý prying Nosy Parkers reading it.

čmuchalové přečetli.

8.30 a.m. My mother is at my bedside! 8:30 Matka sedí u mý postele! Zrovna se She is going to put my diary in her chystá dát si mŧj deník do kabelky. organizer-handbag. She has promised (on Přísahala (na ţivot našeho psa), ţe si ho the dog's life) not to read it.

nepřečte.

8.45 a.m. My mother is in the hospital 8:45 Matka je venku na dvoře a kouří. grounds smoking a cigarette. She is Vypadá staře a strhaně. Ten její zhýralej looking

old

and

haggard.

All

the ţivot se na ní začíná projevovat.

debauchery is catching up with her. 9 a.m. The operating trolley keeps 9:00 V jednom kuse sem jezdí nemocniční coming into the ward and dumping vozíky a odhazujou chlápky v bezvědomí unconscious men into beds. The trolley- zpátky na postel. Ti, co sem s těma pushers are wearing green overalls and vozíkama jezdí, mají na sobě ochranný wellingtons. There must be loads of blood obleky a gumáky. Na operačním sále musí on the floor of the theatre!

být na zemi hromady krve!

9.15 a.m. The trolley is coming in my 9:15 Vozík jede mým směrem! direction! Midnight. I am devoid of tonsils. I am in Půlnoc. Mandle jsou fuč! Ta bolest je a torrent of pain. It took my mother úděsná. Matce trvalo třináct minut, neţ thirteen minutes to find my diary. She našla mŧj deník. Zatím se ve svý nový 54

doesn't

know

her

organizer-handbag

way yet.

round It

has

her kabelce

nevyzná.

Má

totiţ

sedmnáct

got přihrádek.

seventeen compartments. Wednesday October 28th

Středa 28. října

I am unable to speak. Even groaning Nemŧţu mluvit. Dokonce sténání mě mučí. causes agony. Thursday October 29th


I have been moved to a side ward. My Přesunuli mě na samotku. Ostatní pacienti suffering is too much for the other uţ nemŧţou snášet moje utrpení. patients to bear. Had a `get well' card from Bert and Od Berta a Šavle jsem dostal přání brzkýho Sabre.

uzdravení.

Friday October 30th

Pátek 30. října

I was able to sip a little of grandma's Podařilo se mně dostat do sebe po malých broth today. She brought it in her douškách trošku hovězího vývaru od Thermos flask. My father brought me a babičky. Přinesla mi ho v termosce. Otec family pack of crisps; he might just as mně přinesl rodinný balení čipsŧ; to uţ mně well have brought me razor blades!

rovnou mohl přinýst ţiletky!

Pandora came at visiting time, I had little V návštěvních hodinách přišla Pandora. to whisper to her.

Neměl jsem jí toho moc co pošeptat.

Conversation palls when one is hovering Kdyţ člověk balancuje mezi ţivotem a between life and death.

smrtí, konverzace omrzí.

Saturday October 31st

Sobota 31. října

HALLOWE‘EN

HALLOWE‘EN

3 a.m. 1 have been forced to complain 3:00 Musel jsem si stěţovat na kravál, about the noise coming from the nurses' kterej vycházel z ubytovny sester. Je mně home. I am sick of listening to (and na nic z toho poslouchat (a pozorovat) 55

watching) drunken nurses and off duty nalitý sestry a policajty po sluţbě, kteří policemen cavorting around the grounds dovádí na dvoře převlečení za čarodějnice a dressed as witches and wizards. Nurse čaroděje. Sestra Boldryová dělala něco dost Boldry was doing something particularly nechutnýho z dýní. unpleasant with a pumpkin. I am joining BUPA as soon as they'll Hnedka jak budu moct se stanu členem have me.

světové soukromé zdravotnické organizace BUPA.

Sunday November 1st

Neděle 1. listopadu

TWENTIETH AFTER TRINITY

DVACÁTÁ PO SV. TROJICI

The nurses have been very cold towards Sestry jsou na mě dost hnusný. Říkají, ţe me. They say that I am taking up a bed zabírám

postel

někomu

opravdu

that could be used by an ill person! I have nemocnýmu! Neţ mě propustí, musím prý got to eat a bowl of cornflakes before spořádat misku kornflejkŧ. Kašlu jim na to; they let me out. So far I have refused; I nesnesu tu bolest. cannot bear the pain. Monday November 2nd Nurse

Boldry

forced

Pondělí 2. listopadu a

spoon

of Sestra Boldryová mně narvala lţičku

cornflakes down my damaged throat, kornflejkŧ do mýho poškozenýho krku a then, before I could digest it, she started pak ještě neţ jsem to stihl strávit, začala stripping my bed. She offered to pay for a svlíkat povlečení. Nabídla se, ţe mně taxi, but I told her that I would wait for zaplatí taxíka, ale já jí řekl, ţe počkám, aţ my father to come and carry me out to the přijede otec a odnese mě do auta. car. Tuesday November 3rd

Úterý 3. listopadu

ELECTION DAY, USA

VOLBY, USA

I am in my own bed. Pandora is a tower Jsem ve své vlastní posteli. Pandora je má of strength. She and I communicate velká opora. Dorozumíváme se beze slov. 56

without words. My voice has been Ta operace mně zničila hlas. damaged by the operation. Wednesday November 4th

Středa 4. listopadu

Today I croaked my first words for a Dneska jsem po týdnu zaskřehotal svý week. I said, `Dad, phone mum and tell první slova. Řekl jsem: „Tati, zavolej her that I am over the worst'. My father mamce a řekni jí, ţe jsem z nejhoršího was overcome with relief and emotion. venku―. Otce se zmocnila úleva a byl plnej His laughter was close to hysteria.

emocí. Jeho smích se podobal hysterii.

Thursday November 5th

Čtvrtek 5. listopadu



Dr Gray says my malfunctioning voice is Doktor Gray říká, ţe mŧj selhávající hlas je ònly adolescent wobble'. He is always in „jen projevem dospívání‖. Má vţdycky a bad mood!

blbou náladu!

He expected me to stagger to his surgery Asi si myslel, ţe se dopotácím do jeho and queue in a germ-filled waiting room! ordinace a počkám si v čekárně plný bacilŧ He said I ought to be outside with other na to, aţ se dostanu na řadu! Řekl, ţe bych lads of my age building a bonfire. I told měl bejt venku s ostatníma klukama svýho him that I was too old for such paganistic věku a připravovat táborák. Řekl jsem mu, rituals. He said he was forty-seven and he ţe jsem na takový pohanský rituály uţ still enjoyed a good burn-up.

trošku starej. Řekl, ţe mu je čtyřicet sedm a pořád si uţívá pořádný táboráky.

Forty-seven! It explains a lot, he should Čtyřicet sedm! To hodně vysvětluje. Měli be pensioned off.

by ho uţ poslat do dŧchodu.

Friday November 6th

Pátek 6. listopadu

My father is taking me to an organized Otec mě chce zítra vzít na organizovanej bonfire party tomorrow (providing I am večírek u táboráku (samo sebou jen za up to it, of course). It is being held to předpokladu, ţe se na to budu cítit). Pořádá raise

funds

for

Marriage

Guidance se

to

za

účelem

získání

finančních 57

Councillors' expenses.

prostředkŧ na pokrytí výdajŧ Asociace Manţelských a Rodinných Poradcŧ.

Pandora's mother is cooking the food and Pandořina matka nachystá jídlo a Pandořin Pandora's father is in charge of the otec má na starosti ohňostroje. Mŧj otec se fireworks. My father is going to be in má postarat o zapálení táboráku, takţe si charge of lighting the bonfire so I'm stoupnu nejmíň

sto metrŧ

od něho.

going to stand at least a hundred metres Hodněkrát uţ jsem viděl, jak si seţehnul away. I have seen him singe his eyebrows obočí. many times. Last night some irresponsible people Minulou noc si pár nezodpovědnejch lidí z down our street had bonfire parties in konce naší ulice dělalo vlastní táboráky na their own back gardens!

zahradách za domem!

Yes!

Jasně!

In spite of being warned of all the dangers Navzdory

veškerýmu

varování

před

by the radio, television, Blue Peter and hrozícím nebezpečím, který odvysílali v the media they went selfishly ahead. rádiu, telce, Kouzelný školce a uveřejnili ve There were no accidents, but surely this všech novinách, si ti sobci nedali říct. Nic was only luck.

se nestalo, ale určitě to byla jen šťastná náhoda.

Saturday November 7th

Sobota 7. listopadu

The Marriage Guidance Council bonfire Táborák

pořádanej

asociací

byl

was massive. It was a good community obrovitánskej. Kaţdej přiloţil ruku k dílu. effort. Mr Cherry donated hundreds of Pan

Cherry

věnoval

stovky

výtiskŧ

copies of a magazine called Now! He said časopisu Teď! Řekl, ţe se uţ přes rok they had been cluttering up the back room válely vzadu v jeho obchodě. of his shop for over a year. Pandora burnt her collection of Jackie Pandora spálila svou sbírku komiksŧ comics, she said that they `don't bear Jackie. Řekla, ţe „postrádají feministické feminist analysis' and she `wouldn't like hledisko― a „nechtěla by, aby se dostaly do 58

them to get into young girls' hands'.

rukou mladých dívek―.

Mr Singh and all the little Singhs brought Pan Singh a všichni malí Singhovi přinesli along Indian fire crackers. They are much indický petardy. Dělají mnohem větší louder than English ones. I was glad our randál neţ anglický. Byl jsem rád, ţe je náš dog was locked in the coal shed with pes zavřenej v kŧlně na dříví a má cotton wool in its ears.

nacpanou vatu v uších.

Nobody was seriously burnt, but I think it Nikdo neměl váţný popáleniny, ale stejně was a mistake to hand out fireworks at the si myslím, ţe byla chyba rozdávat rachejtle same time the food was being served. I zároveň s jídlem. Spálil jsem upomínku na burnt the red phone bill that came this telefon, která přišla dneska ráno. morning. Sunday November 8th TWENTY-FIRST


AFTER

TRINITY. DVACÁTÁ PRVNÍ PO SV. TROJICI.

REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY

DEN PŘÍMĚŘÍ

Our street is full of acrid smoke. I went to see the bonfire, the Now magazines are still in the hot ashes, they are refusing to burn properly. (Our red phone bill has disappeared, thank God!)

Naše ulice je plná štiplavýho kouře. Šel jsem se podívat na ohniště, časopisy Teď jsou pořád v ţhavým popelu a nechcou pořádně shořet. (Naše upomínka na telefon zmizela, díky Bohu!)

Mr Cherry is going to have to dig a big Pan Cherry bude muset vykopat velkou pit and pour quicklime over the Now díru a nalít na časopisy Teď nehašený magazines before they choke the whole vápno, dřív neţ zadusí celou čtvrť. suburb. Went to see Bert. He was out with Zašel jsem k Bertovi. Byl venku s Queenie. Queenie. Monday November 9th

Pondělí 9. listopadu

Beck to school. The dog is at the vet's Zpátky ve škole. Pes je u veterináře, aby having

the

cotton

wool

surgically 59

removed.

mu operativně odstranil vatu z uší.

Tuesday November 10th


My nipples have swollen! I am turning Otekly mně bradavky! Stává se ze mě into a girl!!!

holka!!!!

Wednesday November 11 th


VETERANS'

DAY,

REMEMBRANCE

DAY,

USA. DEN VÁLEČNÝCH VYSLOUŢILCŦ V CANADA. USA.

FULL MOON

DEN

PŘÍMĚŘÍ

V

KANADĚ.

ÚPLNĚK

Dr Gray has struck me off his list! He Doktor Gray mě vyškrtl ze seznamu svých said nipple-swelling is common in boys. pacientŧ! Řekl, ţe natékání bradavek je u Usually they get it when they are twelve klukŧ normální. Obvykle to mívají, kdyţ and a half. Dr Gray said I was jim je dvanáct a pŧl. Doktor Gray řekl, ţe emotionally and physically immature! jsem emociálně a fyzicky nezralej! Jak How can I be immature? I have had a bych mohl bejt nezralej? Dostal jsem rejection letter from the BBC! And how zamítací dopis z BBC! A jak bych mohl could I have walked to the surgery with dojít pěšky do ordinace, kdyţ mam nateklý swollen nipples?

bradavky?

I don't know why he calls it a surgery Stejně nechápu, proč tomu říká ordinace; anyway; he never does any surgery in it.

nikdy tam nic nenaordinuje.



Told Mr Jones I couldn't do PE because Řekl jsem učiteli Jonesovi, ţe nemŧţu of swollen nipples. He was extremely cvičit, protoţe mám nateklý bradavky. Jeho crude in his attitude. I don't know what reakce byla pěkně neomalená. Nevím, co je they

teach them at

teacher-training to na těch jejich vysokejch učí.

college. Friday November 13th

Pátek 13. listopadu

Pandora and I had a frank talk about our Dneska večer jsme s Pandorou měli váţnej relationship tonight. She doesn't want to rozhovor o našem vztahu. Nechce si mě za 60

marry me in two years' time!

dva roky vzít!

She wants to have a career instead!

Chce si místo toho budovat kariéru!

Naturally I am devastated by this blow. I Přirozeně jsem z takový rány zdrcenej. told her I wouldn't mind her having a Řekl jsem jí, ţe by mně nevadilo, kdyby po little job in a cake shop or something after naší svatbě měla ňákou tu prácičku v our wedding, but she said she intended to cukrárně nebo tak, ale ona řekla, ţe plánuje go to university and that the only time she jít na vysokou a ţe do cukrárny by zašla would enter a cake shop would be to buy jenom tehdy, kdyţ by si chtěla koupit a large crusty.

pořádnej zákusek.

Harsh words were exchanged between us. Vyměnili jsme si pár hrubejch slov. (Její (Hers were harsher than mine.)

byly hrubější neţ moje.)


Sobota 14. listopadu

Charred Now! magazines are blowing all Ohořelý časopisy Teď! poletujou v naší over our cul-desac. They seem to have slepé uličce. Vypadá to, ţe mají ňákou special powers of survival. The council zvláštní moc přeţití. Obecní úřad vyslal have sent a special cleaning squad to try speciální uklízecí četu, aby se pokusila and trap them all.

všechny je pochytat.

The dog's ears are now clear of cotton Náš pes uţ nemá v uších vatu. To, ţe wool. It only pretends not to hear.

neslyší, jenom předstírá.

Went to see B.B. but he is out with Navštívil jsem B. B., ale je venku s Queenie. She is pushing him around the Queenie. Tlačí ho na vozíku okolo centra leisure centre.

odpočinku.

Sunday November 15th


TWENTY-SECOND AFTER TRINITY

DVACÁTÁ DRUHÁ PO SV. TROJICI

Read A Town Like Alice, by Nevil Shute, Přečetl jsem Město jako Alenka od Nevila it is dead brill. I wish I had an intellectual Shuta. Je to fakt bomba. Chtěl bych mít friend whom I could discuss great kámoše intelektuála, se kterým bych mohl literature with. My father thinks A Town diskutovat o světový literatuře. Otec si 61

Like Alice was written by Lewis Carroll.

myslí, ţe Město jako Alenka napsal Lewis Caroll.

Monday November 16th


I came home from school with a Vrátil jsem se domŧ ze školy s bolavou headache. All the noise and shouting and hlavou. Všechen ten kravál, řev a buzerace bullying is getting me down! Surely mě ubíjí! Učitelé by fakt měli mít lepší teachers should be better behaved!

vychování!

Tuesday November 17th


My father is a serious worry to me. Even Dělám si váţný starosti o otce. Ani zprávy the continuing news of Princess Diana's o conception does not cheer him up.

těhotenství

princezny

Diany,

který

opakujou pořád dokola, mu nezvednou náladu.

Grandma has already knitted three pairs Babička uţ upletla troje botičky a odeslala of bootees and sent them off care of je do Buckinghamskýho paláce. Je to Buckingham Palace. She is a true patriot.

skutečnej vlastenec.

Wednesday November 18th


MOON'S LAST QUARTER


The trees are stark naked.

Stromy jsou dočista nahé.

Their autumnal clothes

Jejich podzimní roucho

Litter the pavements.

Zahaluje chodníky.

Council sweepers apply fire

Městští metaři zakládají ohýnky

Thus creating municipal pyre.

Tvoří velké hranice

I, Adrian Mole,

Já, Adrian Mole,

Kick them

Je rozkopávám

And burn my Hush Puppies.

A pálím si tak semišky. 62

I have copied it out carefully and sent it Pečlivě jsem to přepsal a poslal Johnymu to John Tydeman at the BBC. He strikes Tydemanovi do BBC. Pŧsobí na mě jako me as a man who might like poems about člověk, kterej by mohl mít rád básně o autumn leaves.

podzimním listí.

I have got to get something broadcast or Musí se mi podařit něco odvysílat nebo printed soon else Pandora will lose all vytisknout dřív, neţ u Pandory ztratím respect for me.

veškerej respekt.



Pandora has suggested I start a literary Pandora

mně navrhla, abych pomocí

magazine using the school duplicator. I školního rozmnoţovacího zařízení rozjel wrote the first edition during dinner-time. literární časopis. První číslo jsem napsal It is called The Voice of Youth.

během oběda. Nazval jsem to Hlas mládí.

Friday November 20th


Pandora looked at The Voice of Youth. Pandora se mrkla na Hlas mládí. Navrhla She suggested that instead of writing the mně, abych nepsal celej časák úplně sám a whole magazine myself, I invite contribu- radši tions from other talented scribblers.

uvítal

příspěvky

jinejch

talentovanejch pisálkŧ.

She said she would do a piece about Řekla, ţe napíše o pěstování rostlin v window-box gardening. Claire Neilson truhlíkách.

Claire

Neilsonová

nabídla

has submitted a punk poem, it is very pankovou básničku. Je dost avantgardní, avant garde, but I am not afraid to break ale nebojím se bořit starý hráze. new ground. Punk Poem

Báseň pankáče

Society is puke,

Společnost je na zblití,

Soiled vomit.

Vymáchaná ve zvratkách.

On the Union Jack

Pod společnou vlajkou

Sid was vicious

Sid prasákem byl

Johnnie's rotten,

Johnnie prohnilej, 63

Dead, dead, dead.

Chcíp, chcíp, chcíp.

Killed by greyness.

Ubitej fádností.

England stinks.

Anglie zapáchá.

Sewer of the world.

Stoka světa.

Cess-pit of Europe.

Ţumpa Evropy.

Hail punks,

Sláva pankáčŧm,

Kings and Queens

Králŧm a královnám

Of the street.

Našich ulic.

She wants it put in under an assumed Chce to tam dát pod falešným jménem. Její name, her father is a Conservative otec councillor.

je

totiţ

členem

zastupitelství

konzervativcŧ.

Nigel has written a short piece about Nigel napsal malej příspěvek o údrţbě racing-bike maintenance. It is very boring závodničky. Je to hrozně nudný, ale but I can't tell him because he is my best nemŧţu mu to říct, protoţe je to mŧj friend. We go to press on Wednesday.

nejlepší kámoš. Ve středu budeme tisknout.

Pandora is typing the stencils over the Pandora přes víkend udělá šablony. weekend. Here is my first editorial:

Tohle je mŧj první úvodník:

Hi Kids,

Čau děcka,

Well here's your very own school tak je tady váš opravdu vlastní školní magazine. Yes! Written and produced časopis. Ano! Napsaný a vyrobený jen a entirely using child labour. I have tried to pouze s pouţitím dětské pracovní síly. V break new ground in our first edition. našem prvním čísle se pokouším probořit Many of you will be unaware of the starý hráze. Mnozí z vás určitě ještě miracles of window-box gardening and neslyšeli o zázracích pěstování rostlin v the joys of racing-bike maintenance. If so, okenních truhlících ani o radostech údrţby hang on to your hats, you're in for a závodních kol. Je-li to tak, drţte si magic surprise!

klobouky, jste na cestě ke kouzelnému

64

ADRIAN MOLE, EDITOR

překvapení! ADRIAN MOLE, ŠÉFREDAKTOR

We are going to charge twenty-five pence Budeme si účtovat dvacet pět pencí za a copy.

výtisk.

Saturday November 21st


Pandora's father has stolen a box of Pandořin otec ukradl v práci krabicu stencils from his office. As I write, šablon. Zatímco teď píšu, Pandora píše na Pandora is typing the first pages of The stroji první stránky Hlasu mládí. Jsem v Voice of Youth. I am half-way through polovině skandálního odhalení o Berry writing an exposé about Barry Kent. It is Kentovi. Jmenuje se to „Berry Kent: called `Barry Kent: The Truth!' He hasn't Pravda!‖

Od

babiččina

dramatickýho

dared to lay a finger on me since zákroku si netroufl na mě ani sáhnout, grandma's dramatic intervention, so I takţe se nemám čeho bát. know I shall be safe. Too busy to go and see Bert, I will go Nestíhám zajít za Bertem, skočím tam zítra. tomorrow. Sunday November 22nd


LAST AFTER TRINITY

POSLEDNÍ PO SV. TROJICI

Finished the exposé on Barry Kent. It will Dopsal jsem skandální odhalení o Berry rock the school to its foundations. I have Kentovi. To školou otřese v základech. mentioned Barry Kent's sexual perver- Zmínil jsem se o jeho sexuálních úchylkách sions - all about his disgusting practice of – všecičko o jeho nechutnejch praktikách, showing his thing for five pence a look.

kdy za pět pencí ukazoval svý nádobíčko.

Monday November 23rd


Had a Christmas card from grandma, and Přišlo vánoční přání od babičky a oznámení a letter from the post office to say that z pošty, ţe nám odpojí telefon! they are cutting the phone off!

65

Forgot to call round and see Bert. Zapomněl jsem se skočit mrknout za Pandora and I were too busy putting the Bertem. Měli jsme s Pandorou kupu práce s paper to bed. How I wish I was putting dokončením časáku. Kéţ bych teď s Pandora to bed.

Pandorou dokončoval něco jinýho.

2 a.m. What am I going to do about the 2:00 Co udělám s tím telefonním účtem? phone bill? Tuesday November 24th


Nigel has just gone off in a sulk. He Nigel se zrovna urazil a odešel. Měl objected to the editing I did on his article. námitky proti úpravám, který jsem udělal s I tried to point out to him that one jeho článkem. Snaţil jsem se mu vysvětlit, thousand five hundred words on bicycle ţe tisíc pět set slov o výpletu kola je jenom spokes was pure self-indulgence, but he mrhání místem, ale neposlouchal. Stáhl wouldn't listen. He has withdrawn his svŧj článek. Díky Bohu! O dvě stránky míň article. Thank God! Two pages less to na skládání. fold. The Voice of Youth hits the classrooms Zítra se dostane Hlas mládí do tříd. tomorrow. Must go and see Bert tomorrow.

Zítra musím zajít za Bertem.

Wednesday November 25th


We have been hit by a wildcat strike! Mrs Zaskočila nás neoficiální stávka! Paní Claricoates, the school secretary, has Clarioatesová, školní sekretářka, se odmítla refused to handle The Voice of Youth. She Hlasem mládí zaobírat. Říká, ţe v popisu says

there

is

nothing

in

her

job její práce nestojí nic o tom, ţe by se musela

description to say she has to mess about otravovat se školnim časopisem. with school magazines. The editorial team offered to duplicate Vydavatelskej tým nám nabídl, ať si kopie copies ourselves, but Mrs. Claricoates namnoţíme sami, ale paní Clarioatesová says that she alone knows how to `work říká, ţe ona jediná ví, jak ten „zatracenej the wretched thing'. I am in despair. A krám

funguje‖.

Jsem

zoufalej.

Celá 66

whole six hours' work wasted!

šestihodinová práce přišla vniveč!



THANKSGIVING DAY, USA. NEW DEN DÍKŦVZDÁNÍ V USA. MĚSÍC V MOON

NOVU.

Pandora's father is photocopying The Pandořin otec rozmnoţuje Hlas mládí na Voice of Youth on his office machine. He kopírce v práci. Nechtěl, ale Pandora se didn't want to, but Pandora sulked in her zavřela uraţená v pokojíku a odmítala room and refused to eat until he agreed.

cokoliv sníst, dokud s tím nesouhlasil.

Friday November 27th


Five hundred copies of The Voice of Dneska bylo ve školní jídelně na prodej pět Youth were on sale in the dinner hall set kopií Hlasu mládí. today. Five hundred copies were locked in the Ke konci odpoledne bylo pět set kopií games cupboard by the end of the zamčeno ve skříni na hry. Ani jedna kopie afternoon. Not one copy was sold! Not se neprodala! Ani jedna! Mý spoluţáci one! My fellow pupils are nothing but nejsou nic jinýho neţ banda nevzdělancŧ a Philistines and Morons!

debilŧ!

We are dropping the price to twenty V pondělí shodíme cenu na dvacet pencí. pence on Monday. My mother phoned and wanted to speak

Volala matka a chtěla mluvit s otcem.

to my father. I told her that he is on a Řekl jsem jí, ţe jel na víkend rybařit se fishing weekend with the society of spolkem Redundant

Electric

Storage

Nadbytečnejch

prodejcŧ

Heater akumulačních kamen.

Salesmen. A postcard from the post office to say that Z pošty došlo oznámení, ţe pokud jim otec unless my father phones the post office do pŧl šesté nezavolá, odpojí nám telefon. before five-thirty our phone will be disconnected. 67



A telegram! Addressed to me! The BBC? Telegram! Pro mě! Z BBC? Ne, od matky: No, from my mother: ADRIAN STOP COMING HOME STOP

ADRIANE STOP NAVRAT

DOMU

STOP What does she mean `Stop coming Co myslí tím: „návrat domu―? Vţdyť nám home'? How can I `stop coming home'? I nikdo barák nevzal. Bydlíme v něm pořád. live here. The phone has been cut off! I am Odřízli nám telefon! Přemýšlím, ţe zdrhnu considering running away from home.

z domu.

Sunday November 29th


ADVENT SUNDAY

ADVENTNÍ NEDĚLE

My mother has just turned up with no Zrovna se objevila matka! Bez varování! warning! She had all her suitcases with Měla s sebou všechny svý kufry. Vrhá na her. She has thrown herself on the mercy otce prosebný pohledy. Otec se vrhá na of my father. My father has just thrown matku. Taktně jsem se stáhnul do pokojíku, himself on the body of my mother. I kde si teď snaţím ujasnit, jakej mám pocit z tactfully withdrew to my bedroom where matčina

návratu.

Celkem

vzato

jsem

I am now trying to work out how I feel šťastnej jako blecha, ale mám hrŧzu z toho, about my mother's return. On the whole I aţ si prohlídne náš zablešenej bejvák. am over the moon, but I'm dreading her Klepne ju pepka, aţ zjistí, ţe jsem pŧjčil looking around our squalid house. She Pandoře její liščí koţich. will go mad when she finds out that I have lent Pandora her fox-fur coat. Monday November 30th


ST ANDREW'S DAY

DEN SV. ONDŘEJE

My mother and father were still in bed Kdyţ jsem odcházel do školy, byli otec s

68

when I left for school.

matkou ještě v posteli.

Sold one copy of The Voice of Youth, to Prodal jsem jeden výtisk Hlasu mládí Berry Barry Kent. He wanted to discover the Kentovi. Chtěl odhalit pravdu sám o sobě. truth about himself. He is a slow reader Čte pomalu, takţe se mu to podaří moţná so it will probably take him until Friday aţ v pátek. Zkusíme shodit cenu na patnáct to find out. We are going to try dropping pencí a zvýšit tak poptávku. Ještě nám the price to fifteen pence to try to zbývá prodat čtyři sta devadesát devět stimulate demand. There are now four výtiskŧ! hundred and ninetynine copies to be sold! My mother and father are in bed again Matka s otcem jsou zase v posteli a to je and it's only 9 p.m.!

teprve 9 večer!

The dog is very pleased my mother is Pes má ohromnou radost, ţe se matka back. It has been going about smiling all vrátila. Celej den tu pobíhá a culí se. day. Tuesday December 1st

Úterý 1. prosince

I called the post office and pretended to Volal jsem na poštu a předstíral otce. be my father. I spoke in a very deep voice Mluvil jsem hodně hlubokým hlasem a lhal and told a lot of lies. I said that I, George jsem, jako kdyţ tiskne. Řekl jsem, ţe já, Mole, had been in a lunatic asylum for George Mole, jsem byl tři měsíce v blázinci three months and I needed the phone to a potřeboval jsem telefon, abych mohl volat ring up the Samaritans, etc. The woman linku dŧvěry, atd. Ta ţenská zněla fakt sounded dead horrible, she said she was hrŧzostrašně, řekla, ţe uţ má po krk fed up with hearing lame excuses from chabejch

výmluv

nezodpovědnejch

irresponsible non-payers. She said that neplatičŧ. Řekla, ţe nám telefon znovu the phone would only be reconnected zapojí, jen kdyţ zaplatíme 289.19 liber, when Ł 289. I9 had been paid, plus Ł4o plus 40 liber za připojení, plus zálohu 40 reconnection fee, plus a deposit of Ł40!

liber!

Three hundred and sixty-nine pounds! Tři sta šedesát devět liber! Aţ vylezou naši When my parents get out of bed and z postele a zjistí, ţe je telefon hluchej, budu discover the lack of dialling tone, I will 69

be done for!

synem smrti!

Wednesday December 2nd

Středa 2. prosince

My father tried to phone up after a job Otec si chtěl dneska po telefonu shánět today! He has gone beserk.

práci! Málem vyletěl z kŧţe!

My mother cleared my bedroom, she Matka mně poklízela pokoj, převrátila turned up my mattress and found the Big matraci a našla časáky Velké a naţhavené a and Bouncys and the blue phone bill.

ten telefonní účet.

I sat on the kitchen stool while they Seděl jsem na stoličce v kuchyni, zatímco interrogated me and shouted abuse. My mě naši vyslýchali a pěkně se do mě father wanted to give me a 'to-within-.an- pouštěli. Otec mně chtěl dát takovej inch-of-his-life thrashing', but my mother vejprask,

na

kterej

prý

v

ţivotě

stopped him, she said, Ìt would be more nezapomenu, ale matka ho zastavila a of a punishment to make the tightfisted řekla: „Větším trestem pro toho škudlivýho sod cough up some of his building- pacholka bude vyklopit ňáký ty úspory ze society savings'. So that is what I'm being stavebka―. Takţe to budu teď muset udělat. forced to do. Now I will never be an owner-occupier.

Teďka uţ nikdy nebudu mít vlastní bydlení.

Thursday December 3rd

Čtvrtek 3. prosince

Drew out two hundred pounds from my Vybral jsem ze stavebka dvě stě liber. building-society account. I don't mind Nestydím se přiznat, ţe jsem měl slzy na admitting that there were tears in my krajíčku. Bude to trvat dalších čtrnáct let, eyes. It will take another fourteen years neţ se mně to podaří zase našetřit. before I can replace it. Friday December 4th

Pátek 4. prosince



I am suffering from severe depression. It Dolehla na mě krutá deprese. Všechno je to is all Pandora's father's fault. He should vina Pandořina otce. Měl přece odjet na

70

have had a holiday in England.

dovolenou do Anglie.

Saturday December 5th

Sobota 5. prosince

Had a letter from grandma to ask why I Dostal jsem dopis od babičky. Ptá se, proč hadn't sent her a Christmas card yet.

jsem jí ještě neposlal vánoční přání.

Sunday December 6th

Neděle 6. prosince

SECOND IN ADVENT

DRUHÁ ADVENTNÍ

I am still being treated like a criminal. Pořád se ke mně chovají jako bych byl My mother and father are not speaking to ňákej kriminálník. Matka s otcem se mnou me, and I'm not allowed out. I might just nemluví a mám zaracha. Je dost moţný, ţe as well turn to delinquency.

ze mě fakt ňákej delikvent stane.

Monday December 7th

Pondělí 7. prosince

Stole a Kevin Keegan key ring from Mr V obchodě pana Cherryho jsem šlohl Cherry's shop. It will do for Nigel's přívěsek na klíče s fotbalistou Kevinem Christmas present.

Keeganem. Bude to dobrej dárek pro Nigela na Vánoce.

Tuesday December 8th

Úterý 8. prosince

I am dead worried about the key ring; we Jsem celej nesvŧj kvŧli tomu přívěsku. did Morals and Ethics at school today.

Dneska jsme ve škole probírali mravy a etiku.

Wednesday December 9th

Středa 9. prosince

Can't sleep for worrying about the key Nemŧţu kvŧli tomu přívěsku ani spát. ring. The papers are full of stories about Noviny jsou plný příběhŧ o stařenkách, old ladies getting done for shoplifting. I který zabásli za krádeţ v obchodě. Zkusil tried to overpay Mr Cherry for my Mars jsem panu Cherrymu přeplatit za tyčinku bar, but he called me back and gave me Mars, ale zavolal mě zpátky a vrátil mi mý my change.

drobný.

71

Thursday December 10th


Had a dream about a jailer locking me in Měl jsem sen o dozorci, kterej mě zamykal a prison cell. The big iron key was do vězeňský cely. Na tom velikým attached to the Kevin Keegan key ring. ţelezným klíči visel přívěsek Kevina The lousy, stinking, sodding phone is Keegena.

Ten

svinskej,

odpornej,

reconnected!

zatracenej telefon uţ zase funguje!

Friday December 11th

Pátek 11. prosince

FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

Phoned the Samaritans and confessed my Volal jsem na linku dŧvěry a přiznal se ke crime. The man said, `Put it back then, svýmu zločinu. Ten chlápek řekl: „Tak to lad'. I will do it tomorrow.

vrať, hochu―. Zítra to udělám.

Saturday December 12th

Sobota 12. prosince

Mr Cherry caught me in the act of Pan Cherry mě chytil, kdyţ jsem přívěsek replacing the key ring. He has written a vracel. Napsal dopis rodičŧm. To se mŧţu letter to my parents. I might as well do rovnou oddělat sám. myself in. Sunday December 13th

Neděle 13. prosince

THIRD IN ADVENT

TŘETÍ ADVENTNÍ

Thank God there is no post on Sundays.

Ještě ţe v nedělu pošta nechodí.

My mother and father had a festive time Matka s otcem si uţívali sváteční pohody u decorating the Christmas tree. I watched zdobení vánočního stromečku. S těţkým them hanging the baubles with a heavy srdcem jsem je pozoroval, jak tam věší ty heart.

všelijaký cetky.

I am reading Crime and Punishment. It is Čtu Zločin a trest. Je to nepravdivější the most true book I have ever read.

kníţka, jakou jsem kdy četl.

Monday December 14th


72

Got up at 5 a.m. to intercept the postman. Vstal jsem v pět ráno, abych odříznul cestu Took the dog for a walk in the drizzle. (It pošťákovi. V dešti jsem vzal psa na wanted to stay asleep, but I wouldn't let procházku. (Chtěl ještě spát, ale nedovolil it.) The dog moaned and complained all jsem mu to). Pes naříkal a stěţoval si celou the way round the block so in the end I let cestu kolem bloku, tak jsem mu nakonec it climb back into its cardboard box. I dovolil vrátit se do svý lepenkový krabice. wish I was a dog; they haven't got any Chtěl bych bejt pes; nemají ţádnou etiku ethics or morals.

ani mravy.

The postman delivered the letters at Pošťák doručil poštu o pŧl osmé, kdyţ jsem seven-thirty when I was sitting on the seděl na záchodě. To uţ je mŧj úděl! toilet. This is just my luck! My father collected the letters and put Otec vybral schránku a dal poštu za hodiny. them behind the clock. I had a quick look Zatímco otec chrchlal u svý první ranní through them while he was coughing on cigarety, rychle jsem to projel. Jsem si dost his first cigarette of the day. Sure enough jistej, ţe tam byl jeden dopis pro naše, there was one addressed to my parents in naškrábanej nevzhledným písmem pana Mr Cherry's uneducated handwriting!

Cherryho.

My mother and father slopped over each Matka s otcem se po sobě několik minut other for a few minutes and then opened plazili a pak, zatímco si nechali rozmočit the letters whilst their Rice Krispies were rýţový polštářky, otevírali dopisy. Bylo going soggy. There were seven lousy tam sedm debilních Vánočních přání, který Christmas cards, which they put up on a pověsili na provázek nad krb. Já jsem string over the fireplace. My eyes were nemohl spustit oči z dopisu pana Cherryho. focused on Mr Cherry's letter. My mother Matka ho otevřela, přečetla a řekla: opened it, read it and said, `George, that „Georgi, ten starej šmejd Cherry nám old git Cherry's sent his bloody paper bill posílá svŧj zatracenej účet za noviny―. Pak in'. Then they ate their Rice Krispies and snědli svý rýţový polštářky a to bylo that was that. I wasted a lot of adrenalin všechno. Promrhal jsem spoustu adrenalinu worrying. I won‘t have enough left if I‘m na zbytečný obavy. Ţádnej mně nezbude, not careful.

jestli si nebudu dávat bacha.

73


Úterý 15. prosince

My mother has told me why she left creep Matka mně řekla, proč odešla od toho Lucas and returned to my father. She slizouna Lucase a vrátila se k otci. Řekla: said, `Bimbo treated me like a sex object, „Bimbo

se

mnou

zacházel

jako

se

Adrian, and he expected his evening meal sexuálním objektem, Adriane, a čekal, ţe cooked for him, and he cut his toe-nails in bude mít kaţdej večer na stole večeři, the living room, and besides I'm very stříhal si nehty na nohách v obýváku a fond of your father'. She didn't mention kromě toho mám opravdu ráda tvého otce―. me.

O mně se nezmínila.


Středa 16. prosince

I am in an experimental Nativity play at Ve škole hraju v experimentální hře o school. It is called Manger to star. I am narození Páně. Jmenuje se to Jesličky pod playing Joseph. Pandora is playing Mary. hvězdou. Hraju Josefa. Pandora je Marie. Jesus is played by the smallest first-year. Jeţíška hraje nejmenší prvák. Jmenuje se He is called Peter Brown. He is on drubs Peter Brown. Bere ňáký prášky, aby to make him taller.

povyrostl.



Another letter from the BBC!

Další dopis z BBC!

Dear Adrian Mole,

Milý Adriane Mole,

Thank you for submitting your latest Děkuji Ti za poslání Tvé poslední básničky. poem. I understood it perfectly well once Rozuměl jsem tomu dokonale, neboť to bylo it had been typed. However, Adrian, napsáno na stroji. Adriane, porozumění understanding is not all. Our Poetry však není vše. Naše oddělení poezie je Department is inundated with Autumnal zaplaveno

básněmi

o

podzimu.

Vůně

poems. The smell of bonfires and the táborových ohňů a šustění listí se prolínají crackling of leaves pervade the very všemi chodbami. Dobrý pokus, ale zkus to corridors. Good try, but try again, eh?

znovu, ano?

Yours with Best Wishes,

S nejsrdečnějším pozdravem,

74

John Tydeman

John Tydeman

`Try again'! He is almost giving me a „Zkus to znovu‖! To je, jakoby to byla commission. I have written back to him: Dear Mr Tydeman,

objednávka! Odepsal jsem mu: Váţený pane Tydemane,

How much will I get if you broadcast one Kolik dostanu, kdyţ odvysíláte jednu z of my poems on the radio? When do you mých básní v rádiu? Kdy chcete, abych to want me to send it? What do you want it poslal? O čem by to mělo být? Mohl bych to be about? Can I read it out myself? to přednést sám? Dostanu peníze za Will you pay my train fare in advance? jízdenku na vlak předem? V kolik hodin to What time will it go out on the airways? I budete vysílat? Musím být v posteli před have to be in bed by ten.

desátou.

Yours faithfully,

S úctou,

A. Mole

A. Mole

P.S. I hope you have a dead good P. S. Doufám, ţe budete mít děsně dobrý Christmas.

Vánoce.


Pátek 18. prosince

MOON'S LAST QUARTER


Today's rehearsal of Manger to Star was Dnešní zkouška Jesliček pod hvězdou byla a fiasco. Peter Brown has grown too big fiasko. Peter Brown vyrostl tak, ţe se for the crib, so Mr Animba, the nevlezl do kolíbky, takţe pan Amimba, Woodwork teacher, has got to make učitel dílen, musel vyrobit druhou. another one. Mr Scruton sat at the back of the gym and Vzadu v tělocvičně seděl Scruton a watched rehearsals. He had a face like the zkoušku sledoval. Jakmile jsme se dostali k north face of the Eiger by the time we'd části, kdy se třem králŧm nadává do sviní got to the bit where the three wise men kapitalistickejch, vypadala jeho tvář jako were reviled as capitalist pigs.

severní stěna alpský hory Eiger.

75

He took Miss Elf into the showers and Vzal učitelku Elfovou „na slovíčko― do had a `Quiet Word'.

sprch.

We all heard every word he shouted. He Všichni jsme slyšeli kaţdý to slovíčko, said he wanted to see a traditional který na ňu zařval. Řekl, ţe chtěl vidět Nativity play, with a Tiny Tears doll tradiční hru o narození Páně, s mrkací playing Jesus and three wise men dressed panenkou v roli Jeţíška a třema králama in dressing gowns and tea towels. He oblečenýma

v

ţupanu

a

utěrkách.

threatened to cancel the play if Mary, Vyhroţoval, ţe hru zruší, jestli Marie, alias alias Pandora, continued to go into Pandora, nepřestane v jesličkách předstírat simulated labour in the manger. This is porodní bolesti. To je pro Scrutona typický, typical of Scruton, he is nothing but a není nic jinýho, neţ omezený, zaostalý, small-minded,

provincial,

sexually- fašistický prase, který potlačuje svou

inhibited fascist pig. How he rose to sexualitu. Nechápu, jak se mohl vypracovat become a headmaster I do not know. He aţ na ředitele. Uţ tři roky nosí ten samej has been wearing the same hairy green chlupatej zelenej oblek. Jak to teď jako suit for three years. How can we change it máme celý předělat? Představení má bejt v all now? The play is being performed on úterý odpoledne. Tuesday afternoon. My mother has had a Christmas card Matka dostala vánoční přání od slizouna from creep Lucas! Inside he had written, Lucase! Uvnitř stálo: „Pavlínko, nemáš `Paulie, Have you got the dry-cleaning náhodou

lístek

z

čistírny

od

mého

ticket for my best white suit? Sketchiey's nejlepšího bílého obleku? V čistírně se are being very difficult'. My mother was s nima nedá domluvit.― Matka byla pěkně very upset. My father rang Sheffield and naštvaná. Otec zavolal do Sheffieldu a ordered Lucas to cease communications, nařídil Lucasovi, aby přerušil jakoukoliv or risk getting a bit of Sheffield steel in komunikaci,

jinak

riskuje,

ţe

skončí

between his porky shoulder blades. My s kudlou ze sheffieldské oceli mezi svýma father looked dead good on the telephone. vypasenýma lopatkama. Vypadal při tom He had a cigarette stuck between his lips. děsně dobře. V puse měl cigáro. Matka se My mother was leaning on the corner of opírala o roh ledničky. V ruce drţela the fridge. She had a cigarette in her cigáro. Vypadali trochu jako Humphrey hand. They looked a bit like the Bogart a Lauren Bacallová z pohlednice, 76

Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall kterou mám na stěně. Chtěl bych bejt syn postcard on my wall. I wish I was a real opravdovejch gangsterŧ, aspoň by člověk gangster's son, at least you would see a poznal trochu ţivot. bit of life. Saturday December 19th

Sobota 19. prosince

I've got no money for Christmas presents. Na vánoční dárky jsem nedostal ţádný But I have made my Christmas list in case peníze. Stejně jsem si ale udělal vánoční I find ten pounds in the street.

seznam pro případ, ţe bych na ulici našel deset liber.

Pandora - Big bottle of Chanel No. 5 (Ł Pandora – velká lahvička Chanelu č. 5 (Ł 1.50) 1.50) Mother - Egg-timer (75p)

Matka – kuchyňská minutka (75p)

Father - Bookmark (38p)

Otec – záloţka do kníţky (38p)

Grandma - Packet of J cloths (45р)

Babička – balík kuchyňských utěrek (45p)

Dog - Dog chocolates (45p)

Pes – psí čokoládky (45p)

Bert - 20 Woodbines (95p)

Bert – 20 Startek (95p)

Auntie Susan - Tin of Nivea (60p)

Tetička Susan – plechovka krému Nivea (60p)

Sabre - Box of Bob Martins, small (39р) Nigel - Family box of Maltesers (34p) Miss Elf - Oven-glove (home-made)

Šavle – krabička psích vitamínŧ – malá (39p) Nigel – rodinný balení čokoládových kuliček Maltesers (34p) Učitelka Elfová – chňapka (domácí výroba)

Sunday December 20th


FOURTH IN ADVENT

ČTVRTÁ ADVENTNÍ

Pandora and I had a private Mary and S Pandorou jsme měli soukromou zkoušku Joseph rehearsal in my bedroom. We Marie

a

Josefa

v

mým

pokojíku.

improvised a great scene where Mary gets Zaimprovizovali jsme dŧleţitou scénu, kde back from the Family Planning Clinic and se Marie vrací domŧ z kliniky plánovanýho tells Joseph she's pregnant. I played rodičovství a oznamuje Josefovi, ţe je 77

Joseph like Marlon Brando in A Streetcar těhotná. Hrál jsem Josefa jako Marlon Named Desire. Pandora played Mary a bit Brando ve hře Tramvaj do stanice Touha. like Blanche Dubois; it was dead good Pandora hrála Marii trochu jako Blanche until my father complained about the Duboisová; bylo to děsně dobrý, dokud si shouting. The dog was supposed to be the otec nezačal stěţovat na řev. Pes měl lowly cattle, but it wouldn't keep still znázorňovat stádo dobytka, ale nevydrţel long enough to make a tableau.

stát na místě dost dlouho, aby vytvořil pořádnou kulisu.

After tea my mother casually mentioned Po sváči se matka jen tak mimochodem that she was going to wear her fox-fur zmínila, ţe si na zítřejší školní besídku coat to the school concert tomorrow. hodlá vzít svŧj liščí koţich. Šok! Hrŧza! Shock! Horror! I immediately went round Okamţitě jsem pro ten prašivej koţich to Pandora's house to get the mangy coat, skočil k Pandoře domŧ, kde jsem zjistil, ţe only to find that Pandora's mother has si ho Pandořina matka pŧjčila na vánoční borrowed it to go to the Marriage taneční večírek sňatkový poradny! Pandora Guidance Christmas dinner and dance! řekla, ţe netušila, ţe měla ten koţich jen na Pandora said that she hadn't realized that pŧjčku; myslela si, ţe to byl dárek od the coat was only on loan; she thought it milence! Jak by si mohl 14 a ¾ letej školák was a lover's gift! How can 14 ¾- year- dovolit dát liščí koţich jako dárek? Kdo si old schoolboy afford to give a fox-fur Pandora myslí, ţe jsem? Milionář jako Bill coat as a gift? Who does Pandora think I Gates? am, a millionaire like Freddie Laker? Pandora's mother won't be back until the Pandořina matka se nevrátí dřív neţ nad early hours so I will have to go round ránem, takţe se tam budu muset stavit, neţ before school and sneak the coat into its pŧjdu do školy a propašovat ňák koţich plastic cover. It's going to be difficult, but zpátky do igelitovýho obalu. Bude to těţký, then nothing in my life is simple or ale v mým ţivotě uţ není nic jednoduchý straightforward any more. I feel like a nebo přímočarý. Někdy si připadnu jako character in a Russian novel half the time. hrdina z ňákýho ruskýho románu. Monday December 21st


Woke up with a panic attack to see that it Vzbudil jsem se v záchvatu paniky. Na 78

was eight-fifty by my bedside digital! My digitálu u postele bylo osm padesát! Černý black walls looked unusually light and stěny vypadaly neobvykle světle a třpytivě. sparkly; one glance outside confirmed my Jedinej pohled ven potvrdil mý podezření, suspicions that indeed the snow lay ţe venku opravdu leţí sníh jako bílej outside like a white carpet.

koberec.

I stumbled through the snow to Pandora's V otcovejch rybářskejch holínkách jsem se house in my father's fishing boots but doplahočil sněhem k Pandoře domŧ, ale found that the house was devoid of nebylo tam ani ţiváčka. Podíval jsem se humans. I looked through the letterbox dovnitř škvírou ve dveřích na dopisy a and saw my mother's fur coat being uviděl jsem, jak se do matčina koţichu mauled about by Pandora's ginger cat. I pouští Pandořina zrzavá kočka. Nadal jsem shouted swear-words at it but the lousy jí, ale ta zatracená smrdutá kočka se na mě stinking cat just looked sarcastic and jen jízlivě koukla, a dál vymetala koţichem carried on dragging the coat around the halu. Nezbývalo mně nic jinýho neţ vyrazit hall. I had no choice but to shoulder- dveře od prádelny, vpadnout do haly a charge the laundry-room door and rush matčin koţich zachránit. Rychle jsem into the hall and rescue my mother's coat. vypadnul (jak rychle to jen jde někomu, I left quickly (as quickly as anyone can kdo má na nohách vysoký rybářský wearing thigh-length fishing boots, four holínky, o čtyři čísla větší). Dal jsem si ten sizes too big). I put the fur coat on to koţich na sebe, aby mně na mý strastiplný keep me warm on my hazardous journey cestě domŧ bylo teplo. Na rohu Oráčové a home. I nearly lost my bearings at the Pastýřské jsem málem ztratil orientaci, ale corner of Ploughman's Avenue and razil jsem si dál cestu vánicí, aţ se přede Shepherd's Crook Drive, but I fought my mnou objevil známej obraz montovanejch way through the blizzard until I saw the garáţí na rohu naší slepé ulice. familiar sight of the prefabricated garages on the corner of our cul-desac. I fell into our kitchen in a state of Vpadl jsem do kuchyně, podchlazenej a hypothermia and severe exhaustion; my totálně vyfluslej. Matka kouřila a pekla mother was smoking a cigarette and biskupský chlebíčky. Zařvala: „Co to making mince pies. She screamed, `What krucinál děláš s mým liščím koţichem? the bloody hell are you doing wearing my Nebyla laskavá, ani starostlivá, ani nic 79

fox-fur coat?' She was not kind or con- podobnýho, co se od matek očekává. Dělala cerned or anything that mothers are s tím hrozný cavyky, vytírala z koţichu supposed to be. She fussed about, wiping sníh a sušila ho fénem. Dokonce se ani snow off the coat and drying the fur with nenabídla, ţe mně udělá něco horkýho na a hair dryer. She didn't even offer to make pití nebo tak něco. Řekla: „V rádiu říkali, me a hot drink or anything. She said, Ìt's ţe je škola kvŧli sněhu zavřená, takţe been on the radio that the school is closed mŧţeš

bejt

uţitečnej

a

prohlídnout

because of the snow, so you can make kempinkový lehátka, jestli nejsou rezavý. yourself useful and check the camp beds Sagdenovi u nás budou přes svátky.― for rust. The Sugdens are staying over Sadgenovi! Matčini příbuzní z Norfolku. Christmas.' The Sugdens! My mother's Fujtajbl,

fujtajblovej.

Jsou

všichni

relations from Norfolk! Yuk, Yuk. They zdegenerovaní a neumí pořádně mluvit! are all inbred and can't speak properly! Phoned Pandora to explain about the fox- Zavolal jsem Pandoře, abych jí vysvětlil to fur and the damage, etc., but she had gone s tím liščím koţichem a škodou na dveřích, skiing on the slope behind the Co-op atd., ale šla prý lyţovat na svah za pekárnu bakery. Pandora's father asked me to get Co-op. Pandořin otec mě poţádal, ať off the line, he had to make an urgent uvolním linku, ţe musí okamţitě zavolat na phone call to the police station. He said policii. Řekl, ţe zrovna přišel domŧ a he had just come home and discovered a zjistil, ţe se jim někdo vloupal do baráku! break-in! He said the place was a Řekl, ţe tam byla hotová spoušť (to musela shambles (the cat must have done it, I udělat ta kočka, já si dával bacha), ale was very careful), but fortunately the only naštěstí jediný, co se ztratilo, byl jen starej thing that was missing was an old fox-fur koţich, kterým Pandora vystlala kočce coat that Pandora had lined the cat's košík. basket with. Sorry Pandora, but this is the final straw Promiň, Pandoro, ale tohle je poslední that broke the donkey's back! You can kapka! Mŧţeš si najít jinýho Josefa, find yourself another Joseph, I refuse to odmítám stát na jednom jevišti s holkou, share the stage with a girl who puts her která dává přednost pohodlí svý kočky před cat's comfort before her boyfriend's problémama svýho kluka.

80

dilemma. Tuesday December 22nd


School was closed this morning because Škola byla dneska zavřená, protoţe se the teachers couldn't manage to get in on učitelé kvŧli sněhu nezvládli dostat do time because of the snow. That will teach školy včas. To je naučí ţít ve starejch them to live in old mill houses and vodních a větrnejch mlýnech někde na windmills out in the country! Miss Elf venkově! Učitelka Elfová ţije s Indiánem lives with a West Indian in a terraced ze západu v řadovým domku ve městě, house in the town, so she bravely turned takţe se odpoledne statečně dostavila, aby out to prepare for the school concert in se připravila na školní besídku. Rozhodl the afternoon. I decided to forgive jsem se Pandoře za ten incident s liščím Pandora for the fox-fur in the cat's basket koţichem v košíku její kočky odpustit. incident after she had pointed out that the Řekla mi totiţ, ţe je ta kočka budoucí cat was an expectant mother.

matka.

The school concert was not a success. Školní koncert se nepovedl. Zvonek, kterej The bell ringing from class One-G went se ozýval z třídy 1.G, zvonil děsně dlouho. on too long, my father said `The Bells! Otec zazpíval: „Rolničky! Rolničky!‖, a The Bells!', and my mother laughed too matka se smála tak strašně nahlas, aţ se na loudly and made Mr Scruton look at her.

ňu podíval i Scruton.

The school orchestra was a disaster! My Školní orchestr byl katastrofální! Matka mother said, `When are they going to stop řekla: „Kdy hodlají skončit s laděním a tuning-up and start playing?' I told her začnou hrát?― Řekl jsem jí, ţe právě hráli that they had just played a Mozart horn Mozartŧv koncert pro lesní roh. Matka a concerto. That made my mother and otec a Pandořina matka a otec se začali father and Pandora's mother and father řechtat jak pěkní nevychovanci. Kdyţ se start laughing in a very unmannerly obtloustlá Alice Bernardová z 3.C objevila fashion. When ten-stone Alice Bernard na jevišti v baletní sukýnce a předvedla from Three-C came on stage in a tutu and umírající labuť, myslel jsem, ţe se matka did the dying swan I thought my mother neudrţí. Matka Alice Bernardové začala would explode. Alice Bernard's mother tleskat, ale moc lidí se nepřidalo. led the applause, but not many people 81

followed. The Dumbo class got up and sang a few Předstoupila třída vypatlancŧ a zazpívala boring old carols. Barry Kent sang all the pár nudnejch koled. Barry Kent zpíval vulgar versions (I know because I was všechny sprostý verze (vím to, protoţe watching his lips) then they sat down jsem sledoval jeho rty), pak se posadili s cross-legged, and brainbox Henderson překříţenýma nohama a zázračný dítko from Five-K played a trumpet, Jew's harp, Henderson

z

5.K

zahrál

na

trubku,

piano and guitar. The smarmy git looked ţidovskou harfu, klavír a kytaru. Kdyţ se dead superior when he was bowing klaněl u potlesku, tvářil se ten ulísanej during his applause. Then it was the debílek, jako by mu patřil celej svět. Pak interval and time for me to change into byla přestávka a já měl čas převlíct se do my white T-shirt-and-Wranglers Joseph svýho kostýmu Josefa, bílýho trička a costume. The tension backstage was Wranglerek. Napětí v zákulisí by se dalo electric. I stood in the wings (a theatrical krájet. Stál jsem v kulisách (divadelní term - it means the side of the stage) and termín – znamená to boční strana jeviště) a watched the audience filing back into sledoval jsem diváky, jak se vrací na svý their places. Then the music from Close místa. Pak se z reprákŧ rozduněla hudba z Encounters boomed out over the stereo filmu

Blízká

setkání

třetího

druhu,

speakers, and the curtains opened on an rozevřela se opona, objevily se abstraktní abstract manger and I just had time to jesličky a já jsem akorát stihl Pandoře whisper to Pandora `Break a leg, darling', pošeptat „Zlom vaz, miláčku―, neţ nás before Miss EIf pushed us out into the učitelka lights. My performance was briliant! I reflektorŧ.

Elfová Mŧj

vystrčila výkon

byl

do

světel

oslňující!

really got under the skin of Joseph but Fakticky se mně podařilo dostat Josefovi Pandora was less good, she forgot to look pod kŧţi. Jenţe Pandora tak dobrá nebyla, tenderly at Jesus/Peter Brown.

zapomněla se na Jeţíška/Petera Browna dívat láskyplně.

The three punks/wise men made too Tři pankáči/králové dělali řetězama příliš much noise with their chains and spoiled velkej kravál a pokazili mou řeč o situaci my speech about the Middle East na středním východě a anděly představující situation, and the angels representing Mrs Thatcherovou diváci vypískali tak hlasitě, Thatcher got hissed by the audience so ţe jejich sborová řeč o nezaměstnanosti 82

loudly that their spoken chorus about byla ztráta času. unemployment was wasted. Still, all in all, it was well received by the I přesto to nakonec přijalo obecenstvo audience, Mr Scruton got up and made a dobře, Scruton se postavil a pronesl hypocritical

speech

about

à

brave pokryteckou

experiment' and `Miss Elf's tireless work experimentu―

řeč a

o

„vytrvalé

„odváţném práci

paní

behind the scenes', and then we all sang učitelky Elfové v zákulisí―, a pak jsme `We wish you a Merry Christmas'!

všichni

zazpívali

„Vánoce,

Vánoce

přicházejí―! Driving home in the car my father said, Kdyţ jsme jeli autem domŧ, řekl otec: „To `That was the funniest Nativity play I byla ta nejsměšnější Hra o narození Páně, have ever seen. Whose idea was it to turn kterou jsem kdy viděl. Čí to byl nápad it into a comedy?' I didn't reply. It wasn't udělat z toho komedii? Neodpověděl jsem. a comedy.

Nebyla to komedie.

Wednesday December 23rd


9. a.m, Only two shopping days left for 9:00 Do Vánoc uţ zbývají jen dva nákupní Christmas and I am still penniless. I have dny a já nemám pořád ani floka. Vyrobil made a Blue Peter oven-glove for Miss jsem s Kouzelnou školkou kuchyňskou Elf, but in order to give it to her in time chňapku pro učitelku Elfovou, ale aby to for Christmas I will have to go into the dostala včas na Vánoce, budu muset jít do ghetto and risk getting mugged.

místního ghetta a riskovat přepadení.

I will have to go out carol singing, there Budu muset jít koledovat, je to poslední is nothing else I can do to raise finance.

šance jak získat finance.

10 p.m. Just got back from carol singing. 22:00 Zrovna jsem se vrátil z koledování. The suburban houses were a dead loss. Baráky na předměstí mě pěkně zklamaly. People

shouted,

`Come

back

at Lidi pokřikovali: „Vrať se aţ na Vánoce―,

Christmas', without even opening the aniţ by se vŧbec namáhali otevřít dveře. door. My most appreciative audience Moje nejvděčnější obecenstvo byli opilci, were the drunks staggering in and out of kteří se potáceli dovnitř a ven z Černýho the Black Bull. Some of them wept býka. Někteří se nad krásou mýho sólovýho 83

openly at the beauty of my solo rendition ztvárnění Tiché noci upřímně rozbrečeli. of `Silent Night'. I must say that I Musím říct, ţe jsem pŧsobil dojemně, jak presented a touching picture as I stood in jsem tam stál ve sněhu s mladou tvářičkou the snow with my young face lifted to the obrácenou k nebesŧm a vŧbec si nevšímal heavens ignoring the scenes of drunken bujných radovánek těch opilcŧ okolo. revelry around me. I made 3.13 ½ plus an Irish tenpence and Vydělal jsem si 3 libry a 13 ½ pence, plus Guinness bottletop. I'm going out again jednu irskou desetipencovku a vršek od tomorrow. I will wear my school uniform, piva. Zítra pŧjdu zase. Obleču si školní it should be worth a few extra quid.

uniformu, to by mělo hodit ňáký prašule navíc.



Took Bert's Woodbines round to the Přinesl jsem Bertovi do domova Startky. home. Bert is hurt because I haven't been Bert je dotčenej, ţe jsem za ním dlouho to see him. He said he didn't want to nebyl. Řekl, ţe nechce strávit Vánoce s spend Christmas with a lot of malicious hromadou nevraţivejch starejch ţenskejch. old women. Him and Queenie are causing Bert s Queenie vzbuzujou pohoršení. Jsou a scandal. They are unofficially engaged. neoficiálně zasnoubení. Mají svý jména na They have got their names on the same jednom popelníku. Pozval jsem k nám ashtray. I have invited Bert and Queenie Berta s Queenie na Štědrej den. Matka to for Christmas Day. My mother doesn't ještě neví, ale určitě jí to vadit nebude, know yet but I'm sure she won't mind, we máme velkýho krocana. Stařenkám jsem have got a big turkey. I sang a few carols zapěl pár koled a vydělal si dvě libry a for the old ladies. I made two pounds jedenáct pencí. Šel jsem teda do obchoďáku eleven pence out of them so I went to Woolworth, abych koupil Pandoře Chanel Woolworth's to buy Pandora's Chanel No. č. 5. Ţádnej neměli, tak jsem jí místo toho 5. They hadn't got any so I bought her an koupil kuličkovej deodorant. underarm deodorant instead. The

house

looks

dead

clean

and Barák

vypadá

pěkně

vymydlenej

a

sparkling, there is a magic smell of nablýskanej, ve vzduchu se line kouzelná cooking and satsumas in the air. I have vŧně od vaření a mandarinek. Pátral jsem 84

searched around for my presents but they po dárcích, ale nebyly na svých obvyklých are not in the usual places. I want a racing místech. Chcu závodničku, nic jinýho mně bike, nothing else will please me. It's time radost neudělá. Je načase, abych se mohl I was independently mobile.

přesouvat sám, nezávisle na jinejch.

11 p.m. Just got back from the Black 23:00 Zrovna jsem se vrátil z Černýho Bull. Pandora came with me; we wore our býka. Pandora šla se mnou. Měli jsme na school uniforms and reminded all the sobě školní uniformy a připomněli jsme drunks of their own children. They všem těm oţralŧm jejich vlastní děti. Kvŧli coughed up conscience money to the tune výčitkám svědomí vyklopili aţ dvanáct of twelve pounds fifty-seven! So we are liber padesát sedm! Takţe se pŧjdeme na going to see a pantomime on Boxing Day Štěpána podívat na pantomimu a kaţdej si and we will have a family bar of koupíme obrovitánskou tabulku mléčný Cadbury's Dairy Milk each!

čokolády!


Pátek 25. prosince

CHRISTMAS DAY

ŠŤEDRÝ DEN

Got up at 5 a.m. to have a ride on my Vstal jsem v 5:00, abych se projel na svý racing bike. My father paid for it with závodničce. Otec ju zaplatil úvěrovou American Express. I couldn't ride it far kartou American Express. Nemohl jsem jet because of the snow, but it didn't matter. I daleko kvŧli sněhu, ale to neva. Rád se na just like looking at it. My father had ni

jenom

koukám.

Otec

napsal

na

written on the gift tag attached to the jmenovku na řídítkách: „Tentokrát ji handlebars, `Don't leave it out in the rain nenechávej venku na dešti― – jak bych this time' - as if I would!

mohl!

My parents had severe hangovers, so I Naši mají děsnou kocovinu, takţe jsem jim took them breakfast in bed and gave them donesl snídani do postele a zrovna jim dal my presents at the same time. My mother svý

dárky.

Matka

byla

kuchyňskou

was overjoyed with her egg-timer and my minutkou uchvácená a otec byl úplně stejně father was equally delighted with his nadšenej ze záloţky. Vlastně šlo všechno bookmark, in fact everything was going jako po másle, dokud jsem se jen tak mezi OK until I casually mentioned that Bert řečí nezmínil, ţe Bert a Queenie jsou 85

and Queenie were my guests for the day, dneska mými hosty, a jestli by otci and would my father mind getting out of nevadilo, kdyby vylezl z postele a dojel pro bed and picking them up in his car.

ně.

The row went on until the lousy Sugdens Hádka pokračovala aţ do té doby, neţ arrived. My grandma and grandad Sugden přijeli ti zatracení Sugdenovi. Babička a and Uncle Dennis and his wife Marcia dědeček Sugdenovi a strýc Dennis a jeho and their son Maurice all look the same, ţena Marcia a jejich syn Maurice - všichni as if they went to funerals every day of vypadají stejně, jakoby chodili kaţdodenně their lives. I can hardly believe that my celej ţivot na pohřby. Nemŧţu uvěřit, ţe je mother is related to them. The Sugdens matka jejich příbuzná. Sugdenovi odmítli refused a drink and had a cup of tea alkohol a zatímco matka rozmrazovala ve whilst my mother defrosted the turkey in vaně krocana, dali si čaj. Pomohl jsem otci the bath. I helped my father carry vynést Queenie (95 kg) a Berta (90 kg) z Queenie (fifteen stone) and Bert (fourteen auta. Queenie je jedna z těch hlasitejch typŧ stone) out of our car. Queenie is one of starejch ţenskejch, který si barví vlasy a those loud types of old ladies who dye snaţí se vypadat mladě. Bert se do ní their hair and try to look young. Bert is in zamiloval. Řekl mně to, kdyţ jsem mu love with her. He told me when I was pomáhal dostat se na záchod. helping him into the toilet. Grandma Mole and Auntie Susan came at Babička Moleová a tetička Susan přišly o twelve-thirty and pretended to like the pŧl jedné a předstíraly, ţe mají Sugdenovi Sugdens.

Auntie

Susan

told

some rády. Tetička Susan vykládala zábavný

amusing stories about life in prison but historky z vězení, ale nikdo se kromě mě, nobody but me and my father and Bert otce, Berta a Queenie nesmál. and Queenie laughed. I went up to the bathroom and found my Šel jsem nahoru do koupelny a našel tam mother crying and running the turkey matku, jak brečí a pouští na krocana horkou under the hot tap. She said, `The bloody vodu. Řekla: „Ta pitomá věc nechce thing won't thaw out, Adrian. What am I rozmrznout, Adriane. Co budu dělat?― Řekl going to do?' I said, `Just bung it in the jsem: „Prostě to naper do trouby―. Tak to oven'. So she did.

udělala. 86

We sat down to eat Christmas dinner four Zasedli jsme k štědrovečerní večeři o čtyři hours late. By then my father was too hodiny pozdějc. Otec uţ byl tou dobou tak drunk to eat anything. The Sugdens oţralej,

ţe

nebyl

schopnej

ani

jest.

enjoyed the Queen's speech but nothing Sugdenovým se líbil proslov královny, ale else seemed to please them. Grandma nic jinýho jim očividně nedokázalo udělat Sugden gave me a book called Bible radost. Babička Sugdenová mně dala stories for Boys. I could hardly tell her kníţku Biblické příběhy pro chlapce. Sotva that I had lost my faith, so I said thank- jsem jí mohl říct, ţe uţ v Boha nevěřím, you and wore a false smile for so long takţe jsem jí poděkoval a tak dlouho jsem that it hurt.

se snaţil o falešnej úsměv, aţ to začalo bolet.

The Sugdens went to their camp beds at Sugdenovi šli zalehnout na kempinkový ten o'clock. Bert, Queenie and my mother lehátka v deset hodin. Bert, Queenie, matka and father played cards while I polished a otec hráli karty, zatímco já jsem si leštil my bike. We all had a good time making kolo. Všichni jsme se dobře bavili na účet jokes about the Sugdens. Then my father Sugdenových. Pak otec zavezl Berta a drove Bert and Queenie back to the home Queenie zpátky do domova a já zavolal and I phoned Pandora up and told her that Pandoře, abych jí řekl, ţe ju miluju, víc neţ I loved her more than life itself.

svŧj ţivot.

I am going round to her house tomorrow Zítra se k ní budu stavovat, abych jí dal ten to give her the deodorant and escort her to deodorant a doprovodil ju na pantomimu. the pantomime. Saturday December 26th

Sobota 26. prosince

BANK HOLIDAY IN UK AND REP. STÁTNÍ

SVÁTEK

VE

SPOJENÉM

OF IRELAND (a day may be given in KRÁLOVSTVÍ A IRSKÉ REPUBLICE lieu). NEW MOON

(moţná se bude rušit). MĚSÍC V NOVU

The Sugdens got up at 7 a.m. and sat Sugdenovi vstali v 7:00, poflakovali se po around in their best clothes looking baráku ve svým nejlepším oblečení a tvářili respectable. I went out on my bike. When se seriozně. Já jsem šel ven na kolo. Kdyţ I got back my mother was still in bed, and jsem se vrátil, matka byla pořád v posteli a 87

my father was arguing with Grandad otec se dohadoval s dědečkem Sudgenem o Sugden about our dog's behaviour, so I chování našeho psa, tak jsem se jel ještě went for another ride.

projet.

I called in on Grandma Mole, ate four Stavil jsem se u babičky Moleové, snědl mince pies, then rode back home. I got up jsem čtyři biskupský chlebíčky, pak jsem to 3o mph on the dual carriageway, it was jel zpátky domŧ. Na dvouproudovce jsem dead good. I put my new suede jacket and jel skoro aţ 50 km/h, bylo to děsně dobrý. corduroy trousers on (courtesy of my Vzal jsem si na sebe svý nový semišový father's Barclaycard) and called for sako a manšestráky (otcova uvěrová karta Pandora; she gave me a bottle of after- Barclaycard

zas

něco

rozdávala)

a

shave for my Christmas present. It was a vyzvednul jsem Pandoru. Dala mi na proud moment, it signified the End of Vánoce lahvičku vody po holení. Byl to úctyhodnej okamţik, znamenalo to konec

Childhood.

dětství. We quite enjoyed the pantomime but it Docela se nám ta pantomima líbila, jen byla was rather childish for our taste. Sill Ash na náš vkus dost dětinská. Sill Ash a Carole and Carole Hayman were good as Alad- Hayman byli jako Aladdin a princezna din and the Princess, but the robbers slušní, ale lupiči ztvárnění Jeffem Teasem a played by Jeff Tease and Ian Giles were Ianem Gilesem byli nejlepší. Sue Pameroy best. Sue Pameroy gave a hilarious byla v roli Vdovy Twankey fakt srandovní. performance as Widow Twankey. In this Pomáhala jí v tom její kráva, kterou si she was greatly helped by her cow, zahráli Chris Martin a Lou Wakefield. played

by

Chris

Martin

and

Lou

Wakefield. Sunday December 27th


1ST AFTER CHRISTMAS

PRVNÍ PO VÁNOCÍCH

The Sugdens have gone back to Norfolk, Sugdenovi odjeli zpátky do Norfolku, díky thank God!

Bohu!

The house is back to its usual mess. My V baráku je svinčík jako obvykle. Naši si parents took a bottle of vodka and two včera večer vzali flašku vodky a dvě 88

glasses to bed with them last night. I skleničky do postele. Od té doby jsem je haven't seen them since.

neviděl.

Went to Melton Mowbray on my bike, Jel jsem na kole do Melton Mowbray, did it in five hours.

zmákl jsem to za pět hodin.

Monday December 28th


I am in trouble for leaving my bike Mám prŧšvih, protoţe jsem včera večer outside last night. My parents are not nechal kolo venku. Naši se mnou nemluví. speaking to me. I don't care, I have just Je mi to fuk, zrovna jsem se oholil a cítím had a shave and I feel magic.

se báječně.



My father is in a bad mood because there Otec má blbou náladu, protoţe jim na pití is only a bottle of V.P. sherry left to zbyla jenom flaška lacinýho třešňovýho drink. He has gone round Pandora's house bolehlavu. Šel si vypŧjčit něco tvrdšího k to borrow a bottle of spirits.

Pandořiným rodičŧm.

The dog has pulled the Christmas tree Pes shodil vánoční stromeček a všechno down and made all the pine needles stick jehličí se zapíchalo do koberce s pěkně in the shag-pile.

vysokým chlupem.

I have finished all my Christmas books Uţ jsem dočetl všechny kníţky, co jsem and the library is still shut, I am reduced dostal na Vánoce, a knihovna je pořád to reading my father's Reader's Digests zavřená, musel jsem se omezit na otcovy and testing my word power.

Reader’s Digest katalogy a vyzkoušet svou slovní zásobu.



All the balloons have shrivelled up. They Všechny balónky se scvrkly. Vypadají jako look like old women's breasts show: on prsa ňáký starý ţenský z televizního television documentaries about the Third dokumentu o Třetím světě. World.

89

Thursday December 31st


The last day of the year! A lot has Poslední den roku! Stalo se toho hodně. happened. I have fallen in love. Been a Zamiloval jsem se. Byl jsem z rozvrácený one-parent child, Gone Intellectual. And rodiny, stal jsem se intelektuálem. A dostal had two letters from the BBC. Not bad jsem dva dopisy z BBC. Na někoho, komu going for a 14 3/4-уеаr-old!

je 14 ¾, to není špatný!

My mother and father have been to a New Matka s otcem byli na Silvestrovským Year's Eve dance at the Grand Hotel. My večírku v Grand hotelu. Matka si fakticky mother actually wore a dress! It is over a vzala šaty! Uţ je to minimálně rok, co year since she showed her legs in public.

naposledy ukázala na veřejnosti nohy.

Pandora and I saw the New Year in Pandora a já jsme přivítali Novej rok spolu, together, we had a dead passionate měli jsme pěkně vášnivou chvilku a hrál session accompanied by Andy Stewart nám k tomu Skot Andy Stewart s ňákým and a bagpiper.

dudákem.

My father came crashing through the V jednu ráno se otec pokoušel projít front door at 1 a.m. carrying a lump of dveřma, v ruce drţel kus uhlí. Namazanej coal in his hand. Drunk as usual.

jako vţdycky.

My mother started going on about what a Matka začala o tom, jakej jsem úţasnej syn wonderful son I was and how much she a jak moc mě miluje. Škoda, ţe nic loved me. It's a pity she never says takovýho nikdy neřekne za střízliva. anything like that when she is sober. Friday January 1st

Pátek 1. ledna

BANK HOLIDAY IN UK, REP. OF STÁTNÍ

SVÁTEK

VE

SPOJENÉM

IRELAND, CANADA SA AND

KRÁLOSTVÍ, IRSKU, USA A KANADĚ

These are my New Year's resolutions:

Tohle jsou mý novoroční předsevzetí:

1. I wí11 be true to Pandora.

1. Budu věrnej Pandoře.

2. I will bring my bike in at night.

2. Budu si na noc schovávat kolo.

3. I will not read unworthy books.

3. Nebudu číst bezcenný braky. 90

4. I will study hard for my 0 levels, and 4. Budu pilně šprtat na zkoušky a dostanu get GradeÀ's. samý jedničky. 5. I will try to be more kind to the dog.

5. Pokusím se bejt milejší na psa.

6. I will try to find it in my heart to 6. Z hlouby duše se vynasnaţím odpustit forgive Barry Kent his multiple sins. Berrymu Kentovi jeho mnohonásobný hříchy. 7. I will clean the bath after use. 7. Vţdycky si po sobě umyju vanu. 8. I will stop worrying about the size of my thing. 8. Přestanu si dělat hlavu z velikosti svýho nádobíčka. 9. I will do my back-stretching exercises every night without fail. 9. Kaţdej večer udělám pár protahovacích cvikŧ na záda a nebudu se vymlouvat. 10. I will learn a new word and use it every day. 10. Kaţdej den se naučím a pouţiju nový slovo. Saturday January 2nd

Sobota 2. ledna

BANK HOLIDAY IN SCOTLAND (a STÁTNÍ SVÁTEK VE SKOTSKU (moţná day may be given in lieu)

se bude rušit)

How interesting it is that Aabec should be Fakt vzrŧšo, ţe Abak je australská kŧra, an Australian bark used for making která se pouţívá na podporu pocení. sweat. Sunday January 3rd SECOND

AFTER

Neděle 3. ledna CHRISTMAS. DRUHÁ


PO

VÁNOCÍCH.

MĚSÍC

V PRVNÍ ČTVRTI

I wouldn't mind going to Africa and Asi si zajedu do kláštera, abych se mrknul hunting an Aardvark.

na ňákou Abatyši.

Monday January 4th

Pondělí 4. ledna

Whilst in Africa I would go South and Třeba po cestě potkám Abbého, kterej mě look out for an Aardwolf,

na ňu duševně připraví.

Tuesday January 5th

Úterý 5. ledna

And I would avoid tangling with an A aţ podstoupím duchovní očistu, určitě 91

Aasvogel.

zmáknu závěrečky levou zadní a brzo na to se stanu právoplatným Abiturientem.

Wednesday January 6th

Středa 6. ledna

EPIPHANY

SVÁTEK TŘÍ KRÁLŦ

I keep having nightmares about the bomb. Pořád mám noční mŧry o tom bombovým I hope it isn't dropped before I get my útoku. Jenom doufám, ţe nás neodpálí dřív, GCE results in August 1983. I wouldn't neţ like to die an unqualified virgin.

udělám

závěrečky

v srpnu

1982.

Nechtěl bych umřít jako nekvalifikovanej panic.

Thursday January 7th

Čtvrtek 7. ledna

Nigel came round to look at my racing Nigel

se

přišel

mrknout

na

mou

bike. He said that it was mass produced, závodničku. Řekl, ţe je to obyčejná unlike his bike that was 'made by a crafts- sériovka na rozdíl od jeho kola, který mu man in Nottingham'. I have gone off vyrobili na zakázku v Nottinghamu. Nigel Nigel, and I have also gone off my bike a u mě skončil a moje kolo asi taky. bit. Friday January 8th

Pátek 8. ledna

Got a wedding invitation from Bert and Dostal jsem svatební oznámení od Berta a Queenie, they are getting married on Queenie. Budou se brát 16. ledna na January

16th

at

Pocklington

street matrice na ulici Pocklington Street.

Register Office. In my opinion it is a waste of time. Bert is Podle mě je to ztráta času. Bertovi táhne na nearly ninety and Queenie is nearly devadesátku a Queenie na osmdesátku. eighty. I will leave it until the last minute Svatební dar budu kupovat aţ těsně před before I buy a wedding present.

svatbou.

It has started snowing again. I asked my Uţ zase sněţí. Poprosil jsem matku, ať mně mother to buy me some green wellingtons koupí zelený gumáky, jako nosí královna, like the Queen's but she came back with ale přinesla mně trapně černý, který má 92

dead common black ones. I only need kaţdej druhej. Potřebuju je jenom na them to walk Pandora to our gate. I am doprovázení

Pandory

k brance.

staying in until the snow melts. Unlike Nevycházím ven, dokud sníh neroztaje. Na most youths of my age, I dislike rozdíl od většiny děcek mýho věku mě frolicking in the snow.

nebaví plácat se ve sněhu.

Saturday January 9th

Sobota 9. ledna

FULL MOON

ÚPLNĚK

Nigel said the end of the world is coming Nigel přišel s tím, ţe dneska večer nastane tonight. He said the moon is having a konec světa. Řekl, ţe dojde k úplnýmu total

collapse.

(Nigel

should

read zatmavení měsíce (měl by víc číst a

Reader's Digest and increase his word rozšiřovat si slovní zásobu). Nigel nekecal. power.) True enough it did go dark, I held Měsíc se začal opravdu ztrácet před očima. my breath and feared the worst but then Zatajil jsem dech a hrozil se nejhoršího. the moon recovered and life went on as Ale pak zas vykoukl a ţivot šel normálka usual, except in York where fate has dál, teda kromě toho, ţe náboţenští fanatici flooded the town centre.

zaplavili ulice katolickýho Yorku.

Sunday January 10th

Neděle 10. ledna

FIRST AFTER EPIPHANY

PRVNÍ PO SVÁTKU TŘÍ KRÁLŦ

I can't understand why my father looks so Nemŧţu pochopit, proč otec ve čtyřicítce old at forty-one compared to President ve

srovnání

se sedmdesátiletým

Reagan at seventy. My father has got no presidentem Reganem vypadá tak staře. work or worries yet he looks dead Otec nemá práci ani ţádný starosti a stejně haggard. Poor President Reagan has to vypadá jako chodící mrtvola. Chudák carry the world's safety on his shoulders Reagan nese na bedrech bezpečnost celýho yet he is always smiling and looking světa a i tak se pořád usmívá a vypadá cheerful. It doesn't make sense.

šťastně. To postrádá logiku.

Monday January 11th

Pondělí 11. ledna

I've been looking through last year's diary Prohlíţel jsem si deník z minulýho roku, and have been reminded that Malcolm coţ mně připomnělo, ţe nejchytřejší chlap 93

Muggeridge never did reply to my letter planety

Malcolm

Muggeridge

mi

about what to do if you are an neodpověděl na dopis, kde jsem se ho ptal, intellectual. That is a first-class stamp co má člověk dělat, kdyţ je intelektuál. wasted! I should have written to the Vyhozený prachy za známku! Měl jsem British Museum, that's where all the radši napsat do Britskýho muzea. To je intellectuals hang out.

tam,

kde

se

všichni

intelektuálové

poflakujou. Tuesday January 12th

Úterý 12. ledna

Pandora and I went to the youth club Večer jsme šli s Pandorou do klubu tonight. It was quite good. Rick Lemon mládeţe. Bylo to docela dobrý. Rick led a discussion on sex. Nobody said Lemon vedl diskusi na téma pohlavní styk. anything, but he showed some interesting Nikdo ani necekl, ale ukázal nám aspoň slides of wombs cut in half.

zajímavý obrázky prŧřezu dělohou.

Wednesday January 13th

Středa 13. ledna

Pandora's parents have had a massive Pandořiny rodiče se pěkně rafli. Spí row. They are sleeping in separate v oddělených loţnicích. Pandořina matka se bedrooms. Pandora's mother has joined dala k sociálním demokratŧm, kteří odešli z the SDP and Pandora's father is staying Dělnické strany, coţ se nelíbí otci, pro loyal to the Labour Party. Pandora is a kterýho je Dělnická strana pořád jednička. Liberal, so she gets on all right with them Pandora je Liberál, takţe vychází s oběma. both. Thursday January 14th

Čtvrtek 14. ledna

Pandora's father has come out of the Pandořin otec vylezl ze svýho kamrlíku a closet and admitted that he is a Bennite. přiznal si, ţe je levičák. Pandora to Pandora is staying loyal to him, but if the skousne, ale kdyţ se to dozví u něho Coop Dairy find out he will be finished.

v práci, je po něm.

Friday January 15th

Pátek 15. ledna

Thank God the snow is melting! At last I Díky Bohu sníh uţ začíná tát! Konečně se can walk the streets in safety, secure in mŧţu bezpečně procházet po ulicích a bejt 94

the knowledge that no one is going to ram si jistej, ţe mně nikdo nešvihne koulí do a snowball down the back of my anorak.

zad.

Saturday January 16th

Sobota 16. ledna

MOON'S LAST QUARTER


Bert got married today.

Bert se dneska oţenil.

The Alderman Cooper Sunshine Home Domov dŧchodcŧ si najal autobus, aby hired a coach and took the old ladies to dovezl stařenky na svatbu. Ty s chodítkama form a guard of honour with their walk- nad hlavou vytvořily slavnostní prŧvod, ing-frames.

aby poctili novomanţele.

Bert looked dead good. He cashed his life

Bert vypadal děsně dobře. Nechal si

insurance i and spent the money on a new vyplatit ţivotní pojistku a koupil si novej suit. Queenie was wearing a hat made of oblek. Queenie měla na hlavě klobouk flowers and fruit. She had a lot of orange udělanej z kytek a ovoce. Na obličej si make-up on her face to try and cover the naplácala

tunu

oranţovýho

make-upu

wrinkles. Even sabre had a red bow round v domnění, ţe se jí podaří zakrýt vrásky. I his neck. I think it was kind of the Šavle měl červenýho motýlka na krku. RSPCA to let sabre out for his master's Podle mě je to od útulku fakt pěkný, ţe wedding. My father and Pandora's father pustili Šavli na svatbu svýho páníčka. Mŧj carried Bert's wheelchair up the steps a

Pandořin

otec

vynesli

Berta

na

with Bert a single man and then down kolečkovým křesle do schodŧ. To stejný again with Bert a married man. The old pak podstoupili po cestě dolŧ, akorát Bert ladies threw rice and confetti and my uţ byl ţenatej. Stařenky po nás házely rýţi mother

and

Pandora's

mother

gave a konfety. Moje a Pandořina matka dali

Queenie a kiss and a lucky horseshoe.

Queenie pusu a podkovu pro štěstí.

A newspaper reporter and photographer Novinář a fotograf pro místní noviny made everyone pose for photographs. I všechny donutil, aby mu zapózovali. Zeptal was asked my name, but I said I didn't se mě na jméno, ale já mu řekl, ţe o want publicity for my acts of charity to publicitu za svý dobrodiní vŧči Bertovi Bert.

nestojím.

95

The reception took place back at the Hostina se konala doma. Matron vyrobila home. Matron made a cake with `B' dort, na kterej z ţelatinových kuliček and`Q" written in Jellytots.

vyskládala písmena „B― a „Q―.

Bert and Queenie are moving into a Bert a Queenie se v pondělí stěhujou do bungalow on Monday, after they have přízemního domku, potom co v domově had their honeymoon in the home.

proţijou líbánky.

Honeymoon! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Líbánky! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Sunday January 17th

Neděle 17. ledna

SECOND AFTER EPIPHANY

DRUHÁ PO SVÁTKU TŘÍ KRÁLŦ

Last night I dreamed about a boy like me V noci se mi zdálo o klukovi jako já, kterej collecting pebbles in the rain. It was a sbíral kamínky v dešti. Byl to děsně divnej dead strange dream.

sen.

I am reading The Black Prince, by Iris Čtu

teď

Černýho

prince

od

Iris

Murdoch. I can onlyunderstand one word Mudrochové. Rozumím kaţdýmu desátýmu in ten. It is now my ambition to actually slovu. Stanovil jsem si novej cíl. Opravdu enjoy one of herbooks. Then I will know si uţít některou z jejích kníţek. Pak budu I am above the common herd.

vědět,

ţe

jsem

lepší

neţ

obyčejní

druhýho

pololetí.

smrtelníci. Monday January 18th

Pondělí 18. ledna

School. First day of term. Loads of GCE Škola.

První

den

homework. I will never cope. I am an Hromada úkolŧ na zkoušky. To nemŧţu intellectual but at the same time I am not nikdy zmáknout. Jsem sice intelektuál, very clever.

jenţe nejsem zrovna nejchytřejší.

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4 TRANSLATION THEORY

In this part of the thesis, I want to comment on the translation theories that refer to the question of equivalence and partial or total untranslatability since these phenomena will be the subject of my analysis. Before I will deal with the individual theorist‘s opinions on the concept of equivalence, I will discuss the question of literal versus free translation. The reason is following; the concept of equivalence, in some ways, emanates from the traditional concepts of literal and free translation and consequently has come into the focus of translation theory instead of this age-old dichotomy.

4.1 Literal vs. free translation Translating has been undoubtedly an honourable human activity since ancient times. It has served a crucial social function enabling people to communicate with other nations and familiarize with their culture. The question of an adequate translation, therefore, was discussed already by ancient linguists. The oldest translations were rather literal, often forgetting about the meaning of a particular text, which could lead to ambiguity or a complete misunderstanding. Thus, having realized the problem, latter linguists endeavoured to solve it. They urged greater freedom for translators in relation to the original. In other words, they claimed not to translate word-for-word but rather try to transfer the meaning of the text and preserve the same impression as the original had on its readers. In these statements and claims, we can find the origin of theoretical arguments of our time about admissibility of terms literal or free translation. On the one hand, literal translation, also referred to as faithful translation, is form-based, which means that its aim is to translate each individual lexical item from the source-language text into the target-language text. Considering its negative features, we cannot forget to mention unnaturalness and ignoring grammar, syntax and cultural norms associated with discourse genre and register of the target-language text. Also, the creativity of a translator is in this translation method represented minimally. On the other hand, the 97

attempt of free translation, which is also called idiomatic translation, is not to preserve the form of the original, but rather its meaning, function, and the same impression as the original had on its readers. Some of the arguments against this translation method are translators‘ redundant creativity and subsequent inaccurate reproduction of the original. One of the famous Czech linguists dealing with this question was Jiří Levý (1957). In his first published monograph, he deals with the history and evolution of translation and different preferences in translation of particular cultural movements. He presents that literal translation was preferred, for example, in the Middle Ages and Romanticism, and free translation was demanded in Renaissance and Classicism. Translators in the Middle Ages followed words in their sequence and paid no attention to the idea as a whole. Moreover, they often translated word-for-word, regardless of different language structures. Need for free translation comes, however, with Renaissance and Humanism which encompassed a resurgence of learning based on classical sources. They adopted Horace‘s statement: ―faithful translator, try not to translate word-for-word‖1 (as cited in Levý, 1957, p. 23). In this period a translation often becomes an interpretation, and translators are to a certain extent popularisers. Classicists went even further. At the beginning of the era, translators were also regarded as popularisers but later their aims changed and they focused on creative translating. They were convinced that a translation should be even better than the original. They endeavoured to improve the original in order to rid it of restrictions caused by their strong ties to their native soil and language. Their aim was also to rid the original of its specifically national features, to make it generally acceptable and internationally recognized. Romantic translators, on the contrary, wanted to preserve all the individual features of the original and identify it closely with its translation. Therefore they prefer literal translation. As you can see, at the beginning of 19th century, two contradictory theoretical methods were already fully developed. The development of the methods is connected 1

Translated by the author of the diploma thesis.

98

with changes of their relationship with the original and the readership. The preference of one of them has alternated after some periods of time up to the present. Nowadays, although the democratic tendency dominates, and translators are free in their choice, idiomatic translation is preferable and considered more valuable. This argument can be supported by the statement of Ján Vilikovský (1984) who is convinced that ―even the most linguistically naive human being knows that it is not possible to translate word by word, that good is хороший indeed, but Good night is Спокойной ночи‖ (p. 32).2 Pavel Eisner, also known under the pseudonym Vincy Schwarze, was also interested in this question and stated the following:

―Stated quite soberly, it is important to translate as freely as possible. I think that most of us, translators, are bound by an excessive effort to achieve so-called fidelity. I personally criticize it in my own practice. There are, however, impassable limits where the freedom would become a betrayal, or even mischief. To set such limits somehow semantically is an impossible business. These limits are changeable depending upon particular cases and it is necessary to feel them by tact, experience and knowledge‖ 3 (as cited in Levý, 1957, p. 682).

However, literal translation can also be partly desirable in some cases, for example, for translating scientific, technical, or legal literature in which accuracy and explicitness is required, and national and period characteristics are not in this kind of texts important. In addition, both translation methods are gradually converging, i.e. the differences between them are not as strong as they used to be. It is given by the attempt to arrive at the compromise between them, which is a vital prerequisite to an adequate translation. According to Popovič (1975), ―one of the aims of the translation is to be faithful to the original as a whole. Thus, fidelity and fluency in translation cannot be contrasted, but it is necessary to treat them within their dialectical interplay. There is

2 3

Translated by the author of the diploma thesis. Translated by the author of the diploma thesis.

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actually no adequate fidelity or fluency; they include something from each other‖ (p. 121).4 To achieve an adequate translation, however, the translator must consider many other factors including the goal and intended audience of the original and the era in which it was created. Consequently, they should take into consideration their own objectives; who they translate the text for, how it should effect on readers, and what style and language devices should be used. Since the source-language text I have chosen to translate is artistic, and there is no special need to focus on the form, I have decided to use primarily free translation. Nevertheless, I also want to pay attention to the content and the meaning of the text and I will try my translation to have the same impression on readers as the original has. Consequently, I hope for achieving an adequate translation.

4.2 Equivalence and untranslatability In this chapter, the concept of equivalence relating closely to the concept of untranslatability is discussed by various theorists who at the same time provide different classifications.

4.2.1 The concept of equivalence As the main aim of a good translator is to achieve an adequate translation, they are supposed to achieve maximal possible correspondence of the source-language text and the target-language text. Nevertheless, to achieve an equivalent translation at all levels is beyond possibility, and therefore several types of equivalence were distinguished by various theorists. The concept of equivalence drew attention, for example, of Eugen Nida. He classified formal and dynamic equivalence which were initially conceived to describe methods of translating the Bible. Whereas formal equivalence tries to reproduce the text word-for-word and focuses on the meaning of the message and its form, the aim of 4


100

dynamic equivalence is to convey the idea expressed in the original and have the same effect on the readership of the translation like on the readership of the original (Nida, 1964a, p. 159). According to Nida (1964b), the formal equivalence is less comprehensible than dynamic equivalence, and dynamic-equivalent translation can be described as ‖the closest natural equivalent to the source language message‖ (as cited in Venuti, 2002, p. 163). Nonetheless, the name of dynamic equivalence was later changed by its own author for functional equivalence since the notion ‗dynamic‘ was often misunderstood and misconstrued as merely something that has an impact and appeal for receptors (Newmark, 1998, p. 164). Further, the similar equivalence classification was coined by Newmark since he, together with other theorists such as Knittlová, is a supporter of Nida‘s key translation concept of functional equivalence. He has suggested, among other translation methods, semantic and communicative translation. Semantic translation is similar to faithful translation that ―attempts to reproduce the precise contextual meaning of the original within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures.‖ The only difference is that ―it must take more account of the aesthetic value (that is, the beautiful and natural sound) of the SL text, compromising on ‗meaning‘ where appropriate so that no assonance, word-play or repetition jars in the finished version‖ (Newmark, 1988, p. 46). On the contrary, ―communicative translation attempts to render the exact contextual meaning of the original in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership‖ (Newmark, 1988, p.47). According to him, „a translation can be more, or less semantic—more, or less, communicative—even a particular section or sentence can be treated more communicatively or less semantically" (Newmark, 1991, p. 10). Both seek an equivalent effect. Although Newmark (1988) has presented also some other translation methods, he claimed that ―only semantic and communicative translation fulfil the two main aims

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of translation, which are first, accuracy, and second, economy‖ (p. 47), and therefore he pays more attention to them. Catford is the next theorist who dealt with equivalence, but his concept is more general and more linguistic-based. He made distinction between textual equivalence and formal correspondence. A textual equivalent is any target language text observed on a particular occasion to be the equivalent of the source language text. A formal correspondent, on the contrary, is any target language category, such as unit, class, structure, etc. that can be said to occupy, as nearly as possible, the ‗same‘ place in the economy of the target language as the given source language category occupies in the source language. Furthermore, formal correspondence is very often approximate (Catford, 1965, p. 27). Bell then distinguishes semantic and stylistic equivalence. He deals with ―the problem of equivalence between texts and the extent to which it is desirable or even possible to preserve the semantic and/or stylistic characteristics of the source language text in the course of translating it into the target language text‖ (Bell, 1991, p. 14). Nevertheless, some theorists reject concept of equivalence. Snell-Hornby (1988) commented on the concept of equivalence as follows:

―...other German-speaking scholars reject the concept of equivalence outright as a concept unsuitable for translation studies (as for example Hönig and Kußmaul 1982; Holz-Mänttäri; see also Paepcke and Forot 1981 and Schmitt 1986). In this study the view is also taken that equivalence is unsuitable as a basic concept in translation theory: the term equivalence, apart from being imprecise and ill-defined (even after a heated debate of over twenty years) presents an illusion of symmetry between languages which hardly exists beyond the level of vague approximations and which distorts the basic problems of translation‖ (p. 22).

Finally, Fišer (2009) expressed his point of view about translation equivalence as follows:

102

―Owing to the criticism, the concept of equivalence has developed and the notion has been modified and specified in works of other researchers many times. Although from the point of view of creative translation the equivalence is obsolete and functionalist concept of translation helped it to find its place, equivalence has had its supporters up to the present‖ 5 (p. 173).

4.2.2 Equivalence at various levels As mentioned above, problems of equivalence occur at various levels. Thus, some theorists explore the notion of equivalence from this point of view. For example, Popovič makes a distinction between linguistic, paradigmatic, stylistic and textual equivalence. Linguistic equivalence refers to equivalence of the elements in both original and translation at the linguistic level, including phonetic, morphological and syntactic level, i.e. word-for-word translation. Paradigmatic equivalence is equivalence of the elements of a paradigmatic expressive axis. Stylistic (translational) equivalence relates to functional equivalence of the elements in both the original and the translation when the elements from the original are substituted in the translation in such a way so that they will aim to an expressive identity with an invariant of identical meaning. Textual (syntagmatic) equivalence is related to equivalence of the syntagmatic structuring of the text, i.e. equivalence of form (Popovič, 1975, p. 275). Furthermore, Baker examined the notion of equivalence at word level, above word level, grammatical level, textual level, and pragmatic level. Whereas at word level, she explores the meaning of single words and expressions, at above word level, she focuses on combinations of these words and phrases. At the grammatical level, she deals with grammatical categories; at the textual level, she discusses word order and cohesion; and at the pragmatic level, she looks at how tests are used in communicative situations that involve variables such as writers, readers, and cultural context (Baker, 1992, p. 5).

5


103

Knittlová (2000) also presents various equivalence problems and offers some strategies to deal with them. Similarly to Popovič and Baker, she focuses on lexical, grammatical, textual and pragmatic equivalence.

4.2.3 Equivalence at the lexical level Since I want to analyse my translation at the lexical level in the following chapter, I present the further distinction Knittlová makes within the scope of lexical equivalence. She distinguishes three types of equivalents:

-

absolute equivalents,

-

partial equivalents,

-

nil-equivalents (Knittlová, 2000, p. 33).

Also Barchudarov (1975) suggested the same semantic relationships between the source language elements and the target language elements, namely absolute equivalence, partial equivalence, and nil-equivalence (p. 74).

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5 THE ANALYSIS OF THE TRANSLATION

In terms of my analysis, I want to focus on the concrete problems referring to equivalence and untranslatability that I ran into and had to solve in my translation. Although there are generally a lot of similarities among languages, nobody can ignore the fact that there are always some elements which exist in one language but they cannot be found in another language, i.e. there is no one-to-one correspondence between these languages. This phenomenon shall be referred to as untranslatability. Nonetheless, some linguists with the inclusion of Peter Newmark (1988) are of the opinion that ―everything without exception is translatable; the translator cannot afford the luxury of saying that something cannot be translated‖ (p. 6). Therefore, I will attempt not only to pay attention to the most frequent causes of untranslatability, but also to present translation procedures thanks to which translators can cope with this socalled ―translator‘s nightmare‖. This chapter is divided into four parts in which I will gradually deal with individual types of equivalence which we spoke about in the previous chapter. These types of equivalence are absolute, partial, and nil-equivalence that were classified within lexical equivalence by Knittlová and Barchudarov.

5.1 Absolute equivalence We can use the term absolute equivalence when speaking about words or phrases that have their direct counterparts in another language. These words usually carry only one meaning and belong to the core vocabulary, such as subjects, people, activities and processes surrounding us, parts of the body, animals, time expressions, objective characteristics, etc. Barchudarov (1975) classified these words into three lexical groups:

-

Proper nouns and geographic names occurring in both languages 105

-

Scientific and technical terminology

-

Some other groups of words semantically close to the above-cited, e.g. names of the months and days, etc. (p. 75).

The amount of absolute equivalents, which cause no problem to translators, is rather insignificant in comparison to partial and nil-equivalents.

5.2 Problems of equivalence The equivalence problems usually emerge due to socio-cultural, typological, geographical, historical, semantic, and grammatical differences between the source language and the target language. Venuti (2002) expressed his point of view as follows:

―Translation never communicates in an untroubled fashion because the translator negotiates the linguistic and cultural differences of the foreign text by reducing them and supplying another set of differences, basically domestic, drawn from the receiving language and culture to enable the foreign to be received there‖ (p. 482).

Two languages can also differ in traditional customs, emotionality, rationality, and usage of collocations and idioms. These differences result in partial or nilequivalence. While nil-equivalence is a term for the absence of any counterparts in the source language and the target language and thus can be considered as the translator‘s ‗principal enemy‘, partial equivalence signifies the presence of an equivalent, but not absolutely the same. Knittlová stated that ―the partiality can refer to the following differences:

-

Formal differences

-

Differences in denotation 106

-

Differences in connotation

-

Differences in pragmatic meaning

Above mentioned differences are intertwined with one another; the partial equivalents are seldom based on merely one difference, which is a very common phenomenon in linguistics‖6 (2000, p. 35). Both partial and nil-equivalence pose major challenge for translators who attempts to achieve an adequate translation. Hence, very these phenomena will be the centre of my attention in the following chapters. As the aim of the thesis is also to compare my translation with Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation, I will illustrate my arguments with the concrete examples taken not only from the original and my translation, but also from her translation.

5.3 Partial equivalence In this chapter, I will focus on partial equivalence in greater detail. Since, in my case, the source language is the English language and the target language is the Czech language, I will deal with their differences causing partial untranslatability. As I generally agree with Dagmar Knittlová‘s ideas, I will base my work primarily on them, namely on her classification of formal differences, differences in denotation, differences in connotation, and differences in pragmatic meaning. I will devote attention to those phenomena that I consider distinctive in my translation.

5.3.1 Formal differences Formal differences between the English language and the Czech language lie especially in the type of these languages. English is the analytic language whereas the Czech language is synthetic. Analytic languages use particles and word order to express syntactic relationships, and thus they must follow strict syntactical rules. Synthetic 6


107

languages, on the other hand, use inflections, affixes, and internal modifications of roots for the same reason. Moreover, it can become more expressive at the same time, which can be seen in the following example of my translation: The English original

My Czech translation

Hartlová-Císařová‘s Czech translation

The papers are full of Noviny jsou plný příběhů o Noviny jsou plné příběhů o stories about old ladies stařenkách, který zabásli stařenkách dopadených při getting

done

for za krádeţ v obchodě.

krádeţi v obchodě.

shoplifting. So he kept quiet.

Takţe zmlkl.

Rychle ztichnul.

However, even Czech can be sometimes analytical. The English original



Social

services

have Sociálka

painted the walls orange vymalovat

nechala Ve snaze zvednout starcům zdi

na náladu nechala sociální

to try to cheer the old oranžovo, aby zvedla těm péče vymalovat stěny na people up.

starouškům náladu.

oranžovo.

5.3.2 Differences in denotation Denotative meaning refers to literal meaning of a word at the conceptual level. Differences in denotation result from different reception of reality, different level of abstraction, and different denotative systems in the English language and the Czech language. The most common semantic differences between English and Czech lie in specification or generalization of one of the counterparts. In other words, the given word in the source language has more specific or less specific meaning than in the target 108

language and vice versa. These shifts apply especially to verbs since English is a highly nominalised language whereas in Czech lexical meaning is largely carried in verbs (Knittlová, 2000, pp. 41-2). Differences in denotation can be seen mainly in the words expressing part-whole relationship and in the following verbs: go, come, be, say, tell that can also become expressive in stylistically marked texts. Translators must recognize what equivalent suits best in the given context. The English original



They must be on drugs.

Určitě jedou na drogách.

Nejspíš jsou zdrogovaní.

If anybody laid a finger on Kdyby na ňu někdo vztáhl Kdyby jí se někdo jen her she would beat them to ruku, rozcupuje ho na dotknul prstem, rozcupuje pulp.

kousky.

ho na kousky.

Regarding verbs say and tell, however, I decided to use only one equivalent říci throughout the translation even though it has a wide range of possible more specific Czech equivalents, such as vyprávět, hlásat, odpovědět, poznamenat, etc. The reason was to preserve the style of the main character‘s speech. He is a teenager, and I suppose that repetition of the same words is typical of them. To support my argument, I present Levy‘s opinion on this question. He assumes that translators should recognize the moment when the use of various equivalents is redundant and when the repetition of a given element is intentional and fulfils a particular function in the original (Levý, 1983, p. 144). Nonetheless, he adds that if translators decide to use only one equivalent, they should compensate subsequent unavoidable losses, leading to less expressive, colourless translations, in other places in the translation (Levý, 1983, p. 144). Thus, I attempted to compensate these losses by using more expressive equivalents throughout the whole translation.

109

As can be seen in the following example, Hartlová-Císařová seems to be of the same opinion. Nevertheless, she did not compensate the use of the less expressive equivalent říci in this case. I, on the contrary, tried to compensate it by using a Czech expressive equivalent nemít tucha instead of nevědět which both correspond with an English expression know. The English original



He went berserk and said, Pěkně se naštval a řekl: Začal se vztekat a řekl: 'What happened to free „Kam se podělo bezplatný „Kam se podělo bezplatné education?' I told him that školství?“ Řekl jsem, ţe školství?“ Řekl jsem mu, ţe I didn't know.

nemám tucha.

nevím.

5.3.3 Differences in connotation Equivalence of particular expressions in the source-language text and the targetlanguage text demands not only the most possible formal and denotative closeness, but also connotative. As a matter of fact, according to Newmark (1988), connotations are even more important in literary texts than denotations (p. 16). Connotative meaning refers to the further meanings that a certain word evokes, i.e. it implies something in addition to the explicit base of the particular word and it reflects the attitude of speakers towards what they communicate. Thus, it turns out to be more problematic and brings out more differences between the source language and the target language. Connotation includes expressive, stylistic, and figurative components. Very they play the most important role in conveying connotations of the original.

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5.3.3.1 Expressive connotation Expressivity emphasizes the utterance and its effect on the readership. Furthermore, it is expressed by means of its main components emotionality and intensity. The expressivity of English negatively or positively evaluative expressions is often expressed in Czech by a relevant equivalent, but it can also be compensated by other devices, such as colloquial or slang expressions, affixes, or repetition. Nevertheless, it is not easy at all to choose adequate means of expression and preserve appropriate degree of connotation at the same time. The choice generally depends on the translator‘s subjective concept of the original (Knittlová, 2000, p. 58). Knittlová (2000) also stated, ―expressivity is often intensified or, less often, lowered in a translation‖7 (p. 62). Moreover, Levý (1963) argues that sometimes a translation loses its expressiveness and becomes poor, gray and lacks the spice the artistic text should have (p. 136). It can be caused by:

-

the use of a general concept instead of an exact concrete denotation,

-

the use of a stylistically neutral expression instead of emotive one, and

-

the insufficient use of synonyms (p. 138).

The above mentioned makes clear that good translators are supposed to attempt to avoid these mistakes and preserve the beauty of the source-language text in the target-language text. The aim of my translation was also to avoid these mistakes.

7


111

5.3.3.1.1 Emotionality Emotionality is an essential part of expressivity and carries positive or negative evaluative attitude of the speaker to the reality and expresses their emotions. Languages use different ways of expressing emotions, which results in difficulties translators must face to. In the English language, on the one hand, emotionality is mostly expressed analytically through devices that are concentrated on the whole utterance, and it arises from the context or situation. The Czech language, on the other hand, expresses emotions morphologically, especially by a wide range of inflections, lexically by the words with internal expressivity, or even stylistically by means of colloquial, slang, archaic, or poetic language. For instance, English emotionally marked words such as tiny and little used as pre-modifiers of nouns can be in Czech expressed by means of various diminutive suffixes. Unlike me, Hartlová-Císařová did not use this possibility in the following example: The English original



I told her I wouldn't mind Řekl jsem jí, ţe by mně Řekl jsem jí, ţe by mi her having a little job in a nevadilo, kdyby po naší nevadilo, cake shop or something svatbě after our wedding…

měla

ňákou

kdyby

přijala

tu malý úvazek v pekařství

prácičku v cukrárně nebo nebo něco takového, aţ se tak,…

vezmeme, …

Since emotionality is related not only to a particular lexical unit but to the whole utterance, the translator does not have to express emotionality by means of the same element as in the original but can express it in another way, in different places in the utterance.

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5.3.3.1.2 Intensification Both in Czech and English, we also often use intensifiers that express large amount or large intensity of feelings, attitudes and evaluations that can sometimes be combined with the feeling of pleasure or displeasure. Since intensifiers often lose their original meaning, they can be identified with something pleasant even though their original meaning was negative and expressed something unpleasant. These kinds of intensifiers often occur in a colloquial spoken language and change simultaneously with the development of the society. (Knittlová, 2000, p. 65)

Colloquial intensifier DEAD The Secret diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 and ¾ was written in a period when the intensifier dead was really popular among British teenagers. It occurs quite frequently in the original. Therefore, I ran into a dilemma whether to preserve this repetition also in the translation by using only one equivalent, namely děsně, or to choose more suitable equivalents that would, moreover, help to enliven the translation. I assume that by using different equivalents I would ruin a possible salient feature of main character‘s speech, since, as already mentioned, he is a teenager for whom the repetition of particular words is natural, especially when they are popular in a given period. On the other hand, I am convinced that the use of Czech děsně would be inadequate in some cases and the other equivalents would be more suitable. Hence, I have decided to make a compromise and use both alternates. As for Hartlová-Císařová, she seems to favour the same approach as me. Sometimes she uses the Czech equivalent děsně and sometimes other equivalents. In spite of our same approach, we usually adopt different solutions in the same situations. As will be shown in the following examples, she often uses a Czech equivalent hrozně. The equivalents that I use are generally more expressive and colloquial. In the following example, I preserved the equivalent děsně since it seemed perfectly adequate to me in the given context:

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The English original



It was a dead strange Byl to děsně divnej sen.

Byl to hrozně zvláštní sen.

dream.

In some cases I decided to use an equivalent pěkně which is, in my opinion, very frequent intensifier in the Czech language. Since this intensifier is, however, less expressive then the intensifier děsně, I used it in combination with more expressive lexical units. The English original



It is dead boring.“

Je to tady pěknej vopruz.

Je to hrozná nuda.

I am dead scared.”

Jsem pěkně vyklepanej.”

Jsem hrozně vystrašený.

I also used some other devices instead of Czech intensifiers in such context where these devices seemed to be more natural and interesting to me. I used, for example, noun phrases, verb-noun collocations, comparisons or subordinate clauses. Hartlová-Císařová usually adhered to the use of different intensifiers. The English original



I am dead worried about Jsem celej nesvůj kvůli Mám děsný starch kvůli the key ring;...

tomu přívěsku.

tomu přívěsku.

I asked my mother to buy Poprosil jsem matku, ať Poţádal jsem matku, aby me some green wellingtons mně koupí zelený gumáky, mi koupila zelené holinky, like the Queen's but she jako nosí královna, ale takové, jako má královna, came

back

with

dead přinesla mně trapně černý, ale ona se vrátila s úplně

114

common black ones.

který má každej druhej.

So I have chosen Media Takţe

jsem

si

Studies (dead easy, just Mediální

vybral Takţe

jsem

si

výchovu hromadné

reading newspapers and (lehárko, watching telly )...

obyčejnými černými.

jenom

vybral sdělovací

čtení prostředky (děsně lehký,

novin a koukání na telku) jenom …

čtení

novin

a

koukaní na televizi)…

The matron of the home Vrchní sestra domova říká, Vrchní

sestra

z domova

says that if Bert is dead ţe kdyţ bude Bert sekat říká, ţe kdyţ bude Bert good …

dobrotu, …

děsně hodný, …

My father has got no work Otec nemá práci ani ţádný Otec nemá ţádnou práci or worries yet he looks starosti a stejně vypadá ani dead haggard.

jako chodící mrtvola.

starosti,

bowing

during

applause.

se

ten

přitom

vypadá děsně vyčerpaný.

The smarmy git looked Kdyţ se klaněl u potlesku, Kdyţ dead superior when he was tvářil

a

se

ulísanej mizernej

ten

mizera

ukláněl

při

his debílek, jako by mu patřil potlesku, tvářil se děsně celej svět.

nadřazeně.

To compensate for these solutions and preserve the repetition of the English intensifier dead also in the translation, I used the Czech intensifier děsně not only as an equivalent for English dead, but also for some other words. The English original



My parents had severe Naši hangovers, …

mají

kocovinu, …

děsnou Rodiče

měli

pořádnou

kocovinu, …

115

Neutral intensifiers VERY and REALLY Another challenge for translators who decide to translate the original by colloquial Czech is intensifiers very and really. They are basically neutral but in some contexts, they can be expressively marked suggesting negative or positive connotation depending on the word they intensify. A translator must carefully consider the context and choose the most suitable equivalent. The Czech language offers a wide range of possible equivalents. Translators can use colloquial expressions, expressively marked words, various affixes, etc. In the following examples, I used various equivalents, whereas Hartlová-Císařová used again the intensifier hrozně in most cases: The English original



My grandma is very strict.

Babička je pěknej pedant.

Moje babička je hrozně přísná.

The dog is very pleased Pes má ohromnou radost, Pes má hroznou radost, ţe my mother is back.

ţe se matka vrátila.

Mom's really wiped out Máti right

now,

turns

je

teďkonc

je matka zpátky. dost Máti

je

teď

dočista

out rozsekaná, ukázalo se, ţe zhroucená, se ukázalo, ţe

number four is a T V and číslo čtyři je transvesťák a číslo čtyři dělá do TV a má has a better collection of má lepší kolekci Calvina lepší Calvin Kleins than she do!

Kleinse neţ vona!

módní

kolekci

Calvina Kleinse neţ vona!

Downtoners Downtoners have the opposite effect. They help to lower intensity. As I wanted to preserve the colloquial tone throughout the translation, I used correspondent colloquial equivalents in the translation, in contrast to Hartlová-Císařová.

116




I think she is getting a bit Myslím si, ţe ju moje řeči o Myslím, ţe ji moje řeči o bored

with

my světový

literatuře

conversation about great norským literature Norwegian

and

a literárních

koţedělním norském

the průmyslu

velikánech

a

koţedělním

začínají průmyslu začínají trochu

leather krapánek nudit.

nudit.

industry. My father didn't mind a bit Otci ani za mák nevadilo, Otci ani trochu nevadilo, that I chose to go to ţe jsem se rozhodl jet do ţe jsem si vybral Skotsko a Scotland

instead

of Skotska místo Skegnessu.

ne Skegness.

Skegness. I could hardly carry my Horko těžko jsem odnesl Stěží jsem to jídlo do survival food home from zásoby z obchoďáku, takţe přírody donesl z obchodu Sainsbury's, so how I will by mě zajímalo, jak to domů, takţe nevím, jak s manage it on a march zmáknu při across the hills I don't horách!

pochodu v ním

budu

chodit

po

horách!

know!

Translators frequently increase the intensity in translations into Czech. They can do it in a variety of ways (Knittlová, 2000, p. 72). I will deal with some ideas Knittlová suggests, namely with those devices that I used in my translation. As you can see, Hartlová-Císařová probably did not consider this possibility. Thus, a translator can increase the intensity in the following ways:

117

1) By an augmentative affix, sometimes in combination with additional semantic features: The English original



Sleeping on rough ground Spát na hrbolaté zemi s Spal jsem na holé zemi; with only a sleeping-bag pouhopouhým between

me

and

spacákem mezi mnou a ţivly byl jen

the mezi mnou a vším, co se spací pytel!

elements!

tam hemţí!

So we are going to see a Takţe pantomime on Boxing Day Štěpána

se

půjdeme podívat

na Takţe

se

na půjdeme

na

Štěpána

podívat

na

and we will have a family pantomimu a kaţdej si pantomimu a koupíme si bar of Cadbury's Dairy koupíme Milk each!

obrovitánskou kaţdý to největší balení

tabulku mléčný čokolády!

mléčné čokolády!

2) By adding intensifier: The English original



We have got to carry our Musíme si nýst jídlo a Musíme si nést jídlo a food and equipment in our výbavu sami v baťohu, výzbroj sami v rancích, rucksacks, so weight is an takţe váha je dost důležitá.

takţe důležitou roli bude

important factor.

hrát váha.

3) By adding semantic features intensifying corresponding attribute: The English original



Had an angry phone call Volala mně rozzuřená bábí Volala rozzlobená babička from my grandma to ask a ptala se, kdy uţ si a ptala se, kdy uţ si 118

when we were

coming konečně

round to collect the dog!

přijedeme

pro konečně přijdeme pro psa.

psa!

Nobody said anything, but Nikdo

ani

necekl,

ale Nikdo se na nic nezeptal,

he showed some interesting ukázal nám aspoň zajímavý ale on nám ukázal několik slides of wombs cut in half.

obrázky průřezu dělohou.

zajímavých diáků s dělohou rozříznutou na dvě půlky.

I have got to eat a bowl of Neţ mě propustí, musím Nesmějí mě propustit dřív, cornflakes before they let prý me out.

spořádat

misku neţ dokáţu sníst misku

kornflejků.

kukuřičných vloček.

4) By comparison: The English original



I have had an injection, it Dostal jsem injekci, po Dostal jsem injekci, po is supposed to make you který bych měl usnout, ale které mám být ospalý, ale sleepy but I'm wide awake jsem čilej jako rybička, a jsem

úplně

čilý

a

listening to a row about a poslouchám

hádku

patient's lost notes.

záznamech ztraceným kartám nějakého

ztracenejch

ňákýho pacienta.

o poslouchám hádku kvůli pacienta.

5) By repetition: The English original



Written

and

produced Napsaný a vyrobený jen a Napsaný

entirely using child labour.

a

vyrobený

pouze s pouţitím dětské výhradně s pouţitím dětské pracovní síly.

pracovní síly.

119

6) By the stronger intensity of the Czech phrase: The English original



I spoke in a very deep Mluvil voice and told a lot of lies.

jsem

hodně Mluvil

jsem

hrozně

hlubokým hlasem a lhal hlubokým

hlasem

jsem, jako když tiskne.

jsem

napovídal

a jim

spoustu lží.

5.3.3.1.3 Other ways of conveying expressivity Unlike Hartlová-Císařová, I also used Czech inherently more expressive, colloquial, vernacular, or slang words as equivalents to English neutral words in order to increase expressivity. The English original



Then he had one to prove Pak si dal ještě jednu, aby Pak si dal jednu na důkaz that he never got drunk dokázal, ţe se nikdy ve dne toho, ţe se přes den nikdy during the day.

neztřískal.

neopije.

I will wear my school Obleču si školní uniformu, Vezmu sin a sebe školní uniform, it should be worth to by mělo hodit ňáký uniform, to by mělo vynést a few extra quid.

prašule navíc.

pár šupů navíc.

Just woke up to find chin Zrovna jsem se vzbudil a Zrovna jsem se probudil a covered in spots!

Blossom gone.

zjistil, ţe mám bradu samej zjistil,

ţe

mám

beďar!

samou vyrážku!

Květinka fuč.

Poupě pryč.

bradu

120

5.3.3.2 Figurative connotation Another way of conveying connotative aspect is using figurativeness. The meaning of some words contains additional information connected with particular associations of the readers. This additional information contained in a word is called figurativeness and has fixed in the meaning of the word for a long time. For instance, the dog is a symbol of loyalty and is generally considered as the best friend of a man in many cultures. Some cultures, on the contrary, associate the dog with something negative or even devilish. They despise dogs as unclean and would never keep them as pets. Therefore, a translator must be aware of all these facts and take them into account while translating, especially if they translate from the source-language text which was written in a country with markedly different culture. Furthermore, the words including a figurative element have a special influence on the readership, i.e. they draw their attention. One of the translator‘s tasks is to preserve the figurativeness of the original in the translation so that they can achieve an adequate translation. Also, if they want to increase expressivity, they can increase figurativeness in the Czech translation. The English original



Bert on his last legs.

Bert mele z posledního.

Bert v posledním tažení.

My protest fell on deaf Můj protest šel zřejmě Můj ears.

jedním

uchem

protest

vyzněl

tam, naprázdno.

druhým ven.

In addition, figurativeness is related to the names of famous people in a given country, namely actors, singers, politicians, national heroes, historical figures, criminals, etc. Therefore, I decided to substitute the name of Freddie Laker by Bill Gates in my translation. I assume that Freddie Laker is not as well-known as Bill Gates in our country and Czech readers would not associate him with the image of a millionaire. Hartlová-Císařová preferred a different translation procedure, and hence omitted his name completely. 121




Who does Pandora think I Kdo si Pandora myslí, ţe Kdo si myslí, ţe jsem? am,

a

millionaire

like jsem? Milionář jako Bill Milionář?

Freddie Laker?

Gates?

5.3.3.3 Stylistic connotation It is also important to preserve stylistic characteristics of the original in order to achieve an adequate translation. Equivalence is considered absolute only if a lexical unit from the original corresponds with a lexical unit in the translation at all levels. This is common, for example, for terminology. Concerning other vocabulary layers, however, the meaning of the word from the original quite often corresponds to the meaning of the word from the translation at all levels, except the stylistic one. In this case, a translator can compensate the difference within a different word, in a different part of the clause, or even in a neighbouring clause since, as well as emotionality, stylistic characteristics are related not only to a particular lexical unit, but also to the whole utterance. As this independency enables a translator to achieve stylistic equivalence in the translation in different ways than in the original, they can use different parts of speech, special morphemes, inflections, etc. With regard to English-Czech relationship, there is no English direct equivalent to colloquial Czech, so it must be recognized from a context or from a given situation. According to Newmark (1998), colloquial language in English, which he put between informal language and slang on his scale of formality, is a wide band of language closely related to period and place, typically speech used in normal conversation reproduced in writing, and consisting variously of abbreviated words, abbreviated grammatical words, ‗deviant‘ grammatical structures, idioms consisting of cultural or universal words and standard metaphors. (p. 37) He also stresses that the more colloquial or idiomatic the source-language text, the less it ought to be translated literally in the target-language (p. 134). 122

Moreover, Popovič (1975) comments on the question of the translator‘s subjective attitudes towards translation at the stylistic level. He claims that besides objectively unavoidable shifts, there are also ‗individual‘ shifts in the translation, i.e. a translator can take various stylistic attitudes towards an invariant core of the original (p. 132). Bassnett supports his view and adds:

―It is an established fact in Translation Studies that if a dozen translators tackle the same poem, they will produce a dozen different versions. And yet somewhere in those dozen versions there will be what Popovič calls the ‗invariant core‘ of the original poem― (Bassnett, 2002, p. 35).

Thus, I had to decide whether to use standard Czech or Common Czech in my translation. Having carefully considered all the factors, I finally decided for Common Czech for several reasons. The book was written in the first person singular in the form of the teenager‘s diary. Although the main character thinks he is an intellectual, in fact he is not, and his effort can be seen not in the way he speaks and uses language but in the way he thinks of the world and describes situations occurring in his life. Therefore, I have found colloquial expressions appropriate. Further, Knittlová (2000) stated, ―the stylistic use of language varieties again differ in English and Czech. English neutral lexical units very often correspond to their Czech stylistically marked equivalents, namely expressive, colloquial, expressive colloquial, Common Czech, expressive Common Czech, dialect, slang, student and sport jargon, and professionalisms‖8 (p 77). She added that ―expressive, colloquial, and Common Czech equivalents appear most often; slang expressions including professionalisms are less common; and dialect expressions (in terms of territorial expressions) are rare‖9 (p. 78). Many of these equivalents were used in my translation, so I will list them in my thesis and provide them with the examples taken from my translation. Moreover, I will 8 9

Translated by the author of the diploma thesis. Translated by the author of the diploma thesis.

123

present the examples from Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation to highlight our different approaches.

1) Expressive The English original



It won't be our fault if we Nebude to naše chyba, kdyţ Nebude to naše chyba, aţ z grow up apathetic and z nás vyrostou tupouni bez nás lacking in moral fibre.

morálních zásad.

jedinci

vyrostou bez

neteční morálních

kvalit.

2) Colloquial The English original



My

parents

are

not Naši se mnou nemluví.

Rodiče se mnou nemluví.

speaking to me.

3) Expressive colloquial The English original



…we discovered that Bert …objevili jsme, ţe se Bert ...zjistli jsme, ţe Bert léta had been walking about on léta producíroval po vrstvě šlapal po vrstvě špíny... a layer of dirt…

špíny…

124

4) Common Czech The English original



He lies in bed until noon, Válí se v posteli do oběda, Leţí v posteli do oběda, then fries a mess in a pan, pak si na pánvi usmaţí pak si usmaţí na pánvi eats it, opens a can or ňákej blivajs, sní ho, otevře nějakou bottle, …

si

plechovku

hrůzu,

nají

se

nebo otevře si plechovku nebo

flašku,…

láhev piva, ...

5) Expressive Common Czech The English original



I won't have enough left if Ţádnej mně nezbude, jestli Jestli si nedám pozor, bude I'm not careful.

si nebudu dávat bacha.

mi chybět.

6) Dialect The English original



Mom's really wiped out Máti right now, ...

je

teďkonc

dost Máti

rozsekaná, …

je

teď

dočista

zhroucená, …

7) Slang The English original



Stole a Kevin Keegan key V obchodě pana Cherryho V obchodě pana Cherryho 125

ring from Mr Cherry's jsem šlohl přívěsek na klíče jsem ukradl přívěsek ke shop.

s

fotbalistou

Kevinem klíčům

Keeganem.

s

fotbalistou

Kevinem Keeganem.

8) Student jargon The English original



Mr

Dock

also

teaches Učitel

Dock

taky

učí Pan učitel Dock učí taky

English Literature, so we anglickou litošku, takţe anglickou literaturu, takţe are bound to get on, by budem muset máknout, i tam budeme muset chodit, i now I am surely the best- kdyţ read kid in the school.

já

jsem

rozhodně

uţ

teď kdyţ já jsem uţ teď určitě

nejsečtělejší nejsečtělejší dítko ze školy.

dítko na škole.

What is more, I expressed colloquiality in my translation not only lexically, but also morphologically by unification of endings (unified instrumental ending - ma for all genders, unified plural endings of adjectives), etc., and phonologically by different colloquial suffixes (-ej instead of –ý and –ý, instead of –é in adjectives), omitting, changing, or adding sounds, etc.

5.3.4 Differences in pragmatic meaning A translator can face to pragmatic differences since their cultural background and the system of language do not correspond with those of the author of the original. Therefore, they are supposed to cope with these problems using various translation procedures. I also had to cope with these differences in my translation, so I will illustrate the following procedures with the examples from my translation. I will again compare my translation with Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation since I want to show that more ways of solution exist. 126

Knittlová (2000) suggests the following procedures: adding information, omitting information, explanatory paraphrase, and substitution (p. 81). To avoid misunderstanding of the particular element, a translator can add supplementary information explaining unfamiliar phenomenon for the target language readers. Baker (1992) remarks that this procedure is used ―especially for dealing with culture-specific items, modern concepts and buzz words‖ (p. 34). According to her, this procedure is also ―very useful, especially when the word in question is repeated in the text. Once explained, the loan word can then be used on its own; the reader can understand it and is not distracted by further lengthy explanations‖ (Baker, 1992, p. 34). This supplementary information must be, however, maximally sententious. As you can see in the following example, Hartlová-Císařová did not follow this rule. The English original



Bought a haggis.

Koupil jsem si skotský Koupil jsem si skotské národní jídlo haggis.

národní

jídlo

haggis,

takové mleté skopové nebo telecí drůbky, uvařené ve skopovém žaludku.

In the following case, I preferred to use supplementary information rather than generalization since the main character‘s farther uses many different credit cards, which show the evidence of his bad financial situation. Hence, by using generalization, it would not be clear to readers that his situation is really so desperate. Hartlová-Císařová chose the same solution. The English original



My father paid for it with Otec ju zaplatil úvěrovou Otec American Express.

kartou American Express.

ho

koupil

na

úvěrovou kartu American 127

Express.

On the other hand, they can omit the information that can seem redundant to the target language readership. Baker (1992) stressed, ―This strategy may sound rather drastic, but in fact it does no harm to omit translating a word or expression in some contexts. If the meaning conveyed by a particular item or expression is not vital enough to the development of the text to justify distracting the reader with lengthy explanations, translators can and often do simply omit translating the word or expression in question‖ (p. 40). A lexical unit can be omitted from the target-language text completely or it can be substituted by more general expression. As can be seen in the example bellow, both Hratlová-Císařová and I decided to omit the word off-licence since it does not have its correspondent equivalent in the Czech language and it seems to be redundant in this context. The English original



If Bert took all his empty Kdyby Bert vrátil všechny Kdyby Bert vrátil všechny beer bottles back to the prázdný flašky od piva, …

prázdné láhve od piva, ...

off-licence …

Generalization can be, on the other hand, found in the following example. I chose this solution as it seemed more appropriate to me in a given situation than using, for example, redundant explicatory expressions. Hartlová-Císařová decided to solve the problem in the same way.

128




I don't know what they Nevím, co je to na těch Nevím, co je v tom jejich teach them at teacher- jejich vysokejch učí.

institutu učí.

training college.

The next procedure that can be used is explanatory paraphrase when an element from the source-language text is replaced by a whole group of words that explain a non-existent notion in the target language. Both Hartlová-Císařová and I used this procedure in the following case: The English original



My father is in a bad mood Otec má blbou náladu, Otec má špatnou náladu, because there is only a protoţe jim na pití zbyla protoţe tu zbyla k pití jen bottle of V.P. sherry left to jenom

flaška

lacinýho láhev laciného třešňového

drink. He has gone round třešňovýho bolehlavu. Šel likéru. Pandora's house to borrow si vypůjčit něco tvrdšího k nějakou a bottle of spirits.

Pandořiným rodičům.

Šel

si

vypůjčit

láhev

k

Pandořiným rodičům.

Nonetheless, the most frequent procedure used for compensating differences in pragmatic meaning is substitution when a translator replaces an element from the source-language text by the most corresponding element from the target language. Since in my translation I ran into several interesting problems that required this procedure, I will deal with some of them in the following passage. Firstly, I want to pay attention to the English name Which! that occurred in the original. As the matter of fact, it is a name of a product-testing and campaigning charity helping people with buying high-quality products. Since there is a similar TV program called Černé ovce in our country, I assumed that using substitution would be more 129

suitable than omitting the expression completely. Hartlová-Císařová‘s solution differs from mine because she decided to omit this word in her translation. The English original



Pandora said it has been Pandora říká, ţe to bylo Pandora říká, ţe je to tested by Which?, but I bet it has never had to clean a filthy

hovel

Baxter's before.

like

Bert

otestovaný

v

Černejch osvědčený prostředek, ale

ovcích, ale vsadím se, ţe to řekl bych, ţe ještě nikdy nikdy nemuselo čistit tak nemusel čistit tak zavšivený zasviněnej brloh jako je ten brloh, jako je ten Berta Berta Baxtera.

Baxtera.

Secondly, as shown in the example bellow, I had to find adequate equivalents for an English expression Stick Insect which was used in the original as a negative nickname for the main character‗s potential stepmother and Maxwell House used as a nickname for her son whose name was Maxwell. Although Stick Insect has a direct Czech equivalent pakobylka, it did not seem suitable for me since it does not evoke anything particularly negative. As a more appropriate equivalent I considered an expression Kudlanka Náboţná associated in Czech with a bad, insidious woman. Hartlová-Císařová, on the contrary, used a Czech expression Šídlo, probably because one can associate it with a thin person, which the main character‘s potential stepmother, really was. I supposed, however, that the word Kudlanka Náboţná contains both these features and that is why I chose very it. Concerning the expression Maxwell House, it is originally the name of a brand of American coffee in Great Britain, but Czech readers would not understand what this expression or its Czech translation Maxwell Dům mean. Hence, I decided to solve this problem by using the ‗funny‘ word that rhymes with the English name Maxwell, namely Maxwell Sopel. Hartlová-Císařová decided to omit this pun completely.

130




My father, Stick Insect and Otec, Kudlanka Nábožná Můj otec, Šídlo a Maxwell Maxwell House saw me off a Maxwell Sopel mě byli mě vyprovodili na nádraţí. at the station.

doprovodit na nádraţí.

The last problem I had to cope with was related to an English brand of cigarettes called Woodbines. In this case, I wanted to substitute it by a suitable Czech brand so that this brand would evoke the same image as Woodbines in the original. Therefore, I searched on the Internet and realised that Woodbines are regarded as cheap low-quality cigarettes, which corresponds to the Czech brand of cigarettes called Start. So, I used very this Czech brand in my translation. Hartlová-Císařová decided for different translation procedure, namely a loan-word with supplementary information. The English original



Took

Bert's

Woodbines Přinesl jsem Bertovi do Zastavil jsem se u Berta v

round to the home.

domova Startky.

domově

s

krabičkou

woodbinek.

5.4 Nil-equivalence Hrdlička (2003) points out that perhaps everyone who is interested in language from a comparative point of view and engages in translation activity, once ran into the concept of nil-equivalence. In addition, he warns not to confuse the concept of nilequivalence with non-equivalence denoting the inadequate translation, not absence of direct correspondence between the source language and the target language at the lexical level (p. 139).

131

Nil-equivalence most frequently occurs among words denoting things and phenomena typical only of a particular nation and its culture, neologisms, some proper nouns, and specific terms. According to Popovič (1971), the tense between the sourcelanguage text and the target-language text is increased not only by the difference between two cultures, but also by the difference of time, i.e. the era in which the original and, consequently, the translation were written (p. 106). Moreover, nil- equivalence can occur at different language levels. It can relate to different parts of the speech, morphological forms, or to the whole syntactic structures. Within the scope of morphological forms, we can distinguish, for example, gerunds and participles that are often used in the English language, but they seem to be archaic in the Czech language. On the other hand, Czech frequent diminutives have no direct equivalent in English. Syntactic structures include idioms, proverbs, sayings, or puns, especially when they serve as the basis of further development of the plot. It is important to note, however, that the expression that is considered as a nilequivalent in relation to one language can have regular equivalents in other languages. Furthermore, the presence of nil-equivalent expressions in the source-language text does not mean that their meaning cannot be rendered in the translation or that they cannot be translated as accurately as expressions with direct equivalents. Hence, to cope with nil-equivalence, a translator can use various translation procedures. I will deal with these procedures in greater detail in the following chapter.

5.5 Translation procedures This chapter deals with the translation procedures thanks to which translators can cope with the problem of untranslatability. I want to illustrate those procedures that I used in my translation with the examples from my translation and compare them with the examples from Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation. The origin of translation procedures was found in the work of Canadian authors Vinay and Darbelnet who in 1973 classified seven basic translation procedures:

132

Transcription is the translation procedure when the phonetic form of an expression from the source language text is reproduced in the target language text by letters of the target language. Transcription is closely related to transliteration where graphic form is reproduced instead of the phonetic form, i.e. it is the conversion of an expression from one writing system into another letter by letter. Since the English language and the Czech language have the same writing system, I did not have the opportunity to use this procedure in my translation. Calque, also called loan translation, is the process where an expression is borrowed from the source language and translated literally word-for-word. The English original



He said that the best thing Řekl nám, ţe kdyţ trpíš Říkal, ţe kdyţ člověk trpí to do if you are suffering podchlazením, nejlepší je podchlazením, je nellepší from hypothermia is to zalézt si s nahatou ţenskou vlézt si s nahatou ţenskou climb into a plastic bag do igelitovýho pytle.

do igelitového pytle.

with a naked woman.

Substitution refers to the replacement of an element from the source language text by a corresponding element from the target language text. Since I have already discussed this procedure in the previous chapters and illustrated it with the examples, I will not use examples here. Transposition is the process of necessary grammatical changes and changes in sequence of parts of speech as a result of dissimilar systems of language. The English original



This

has

come

as

complete shock to me!

a Přišlo to jako blesk z Úplně mě to šokovalo! čistýho nebe!

133

Modulation is a change in the point of view of the message without altering meaning. In other words, the same idea is conveyed from the source language text into the target language text by means of a different phrase. Further, modulations are divided into eleven categories, such as negated contrary, abstract for concrete, cause for effect, one part for another, reversal of terms, active for passive, space for time, intervals and limits and change of symbols (Newmark, 1988, pp. 88-9). In the following example, you can see three different points of view on the same message. The English original



He hasn't dared to lay a Od finger

on

grandma's

me

babiččina Od

since dramatickýho zákroku si dramatického

babiččina zásahu

si

dramatic netroufl na mě ani sáhnout, netroufl na mě ani sáhnout,

intervention, so I know I takţe se nemám čeho bát.

takţe vím, ţe si to můžu

shall be safe.

dovolit.

Equivalence is the creative process used for translating idioms, sayings, slogans, etc. by using entirely different expressions from the target language. According to Newmark (1988), it is ―an unfortunately named term implying approximate equivalence, accounting for the same situation in different terms. Judging from Vinay and Darbelnet‘s example, they are simply referring to notices, familiar alternatives, phrases and idioms – in other words, different ways of rendering the clichés and standard aspects of language‖ (pp. 90-91). Similarly, Knittlová (2000) assumes that it is not suitable term for using of stylistic and structural devices different from the original ones (p. 14). Adaptation is the process where a social or cultural reality taken from the source-language text is expressed in a completely different way which is familiar to another language culture. Hence, it often relates to various idioms, sayings, proverbs, or puns. Newmark (1998) remarks, ―idioms cannot be translated literally, whether they are up to date, passing or obsolete, unless they have a perfect literal equivalent in TL (p. 74). 134

Thus, as can be seen in the following example, neither I, nor Hartlová-Císařová translated the English idiom to be over the moon word-for-word and rather found a different suitable Czech equivalent. Had we translated it into the Czech language literally, Czech readers would not have understood the meaning. The English original



On the whole I am over the Celkem

vzato

jsem Celkem vzato jsem blahem

moon, but I'm dreading her šťastnej jako blecha, ale bez sebe, ale děsím se toho, looking around our squalid mám hrůzu z toho, aţ si aţ house.

se

porozhlédne

po

prohlídne náš zablešenej našem zpustlém domě. bejvák.

In the examples below, the major problem resided not only in finding an adequate Czech equivalent but also in the preservation of the main point. It was usually impossible for me to preserve the main point as a whole but I tried to approximate to the original as much as possible. This kind of problem usually arose because the word in question was somehow connected with the neighbouring utterance. For instance, the English expression to put something to bed means to complete work on something and send it on to the next step of production, especially in publishing. The main character used this expression when his girlfriend and he were finishing their school magazine. Then, he added that he would prefer to put his girlfriend in bed instead of the papers. Thus, the problem arose. I had to think of such a Czech equivalent so that I would preserve the same or at least similar meaning. My solution can be seen bellow. Hartlová-Císařová‘s decided for a different solution but did not manage to preserve the information about finishing the magazine in her translation. The English original



Pandora and I were too Měli jsme s Pandorou kupu Měli jsme s Pandorou moc busy putting the paper to práce

s

dokončením práce.

Poskládali

jsme 135

bed. How I wish I was časáku. Kéţ bych teď s všechny papíry na postel. putting Pandora to bed.

Pandorou dokončoval něco Mnohem radši bych na tu jinýho.

postel pokládal Pandoru.

Similarly, the example bellow caused problems to me. It is a telegram that the main character of the book got from his mother. It said that she was coming home; however the word stop that is commonly used in telegrams caused misunderstanding. In English this telegram can have two interpretations because of its grammatical structure containing gerund. Nevertheless, in Czech this grammatical structure does not exist and I had to find an alternative solution. I decided to make use of Czech digraphs that are not usually used in telegrams, and that is why it can lead to misunderstanding. I played with the Czech expressions návrat domů a návrat domu that differ only if one uses diagraphs. Hartlová-Císařová adhered, however, more or less to the original. The English original



A telegram! Addressed to Telegram!

Pro

mě!

Z Telegram!

Adresovaný

me! The BBC? No, from BBC? Ne, od matky:

mně! Z BBC? Ne, od mé

my mother:

matky:

ADRIANE STOP NAVRAT

ADRIAN STOP COMING DOMU STOP HOME STOP

Co

myslí

tím:

ADRIANE STOP PRIJEZD „návrat

DOMU STOP

What does she mean `Stop domu“? Vţdyť nám nikdo Co tím myslí: “Stop prijezd coming home'? How can I barák

nevzal.

Bydlíme domu”?Jak mám zastavit

`stop coming home'? I live v něm pořád.

příjezd

domů?

here.

nejsem doma?

Copak

The next problem arose in the following example. This time I had to find the suitable equivalent in Czech to preserve the English pun. The word collapse was used instead of the correct version eclipse in collocation with the word moon so that it would bring about the effect of the knowledge gap of one of the characters. Whereas I chose 136

the Czech equivalent zatmavení as a distortion of a word zatmění, Hartlová-Císařová used the word zmatení. The English original



Nigel said the end of the Nigel

přišel

world is coming tonight. dneska

s tím,

večer

ţe Nigel

říkal,

ţe

dneska

nastane v noci nastane konec světa.

He said the moon is having konec světa. Řekl, ţe dojde Řekl, ţe dojde k úplnému a total collapse. (Nigel k should

read

úplnýmu

zatmavení zmatení Měsíce. (Nigel by

Reader's měsíce (měl by víc číst a měl

Digest and increase his rozšiřovat word power.)

si

číst

LITERÁRNÍ

slovní PŘEHLED a obohatit si

zásobu).

slovní zásobu).

Last and maybe the most problematic case was connected with a dictionary. The main character decided to learn a new word and use it every day. He started from the beginning of the alphabet, indeed. Nonetheless, Czech dictionaries begin with different words. So, unlike Hartlová-Císařová, I decided not to stick to the original and merely translate English words and main character‘s comments on them but I rather used completely new words taken from a Czech dictionary. I had to create completely new stories connected with these words, with exclusion of the first word that is the same in the English language and in the Czech language. My solution can be seen bellow. The English original



How interesting it is that Fakt vzrůšo, ţe Abak je Není Aabec

should

be

zajímavé,

ţe

an australská kůra, která se aabecje australská kůra,

Australian bark used for pouţívá making sweat.

to

pocení.

na

podporu která se můţe pouţívat k pocení?

I wouldn't mind going to Asi si zajedu do kláštera, Neměl bych nic proti tomu Africa

and

hunting

an abych se mrknul na ňákou jet

do

Afriky

aardvarků,

na

lov

afrických 137

Aardvark.

Abatyši.

mravenečníků.

Whilst in Africa I would go Třeba po cestě potkám Kdyţ uţ bych byl v Africe, South and look out for an Abbého, kterej mě na ňu jel bych na jih a dával Aardwolf,

duševně připraví.

pozor na aardwolfy, šelmy příbuzné hyeně.

And I would avoid tangling A aţ podstoupím duchovní A vyvaroval bych se tomu, with an Aasvogel.

očistu,

určitě

zmáknu zaplést se s aasvogely,

závěrečky levou zadní a jihoafrickými supy. brzo

na

to

se

stanu

právoplatným Abiturientem.

Many translation scholars have adapted these established translation procedures and solve the absence of direct equivalents with their use (Knittlová, 2000, p. 14). Barchudarov (1975), for example, suggested five ways of solution, namely transliteration, calque, explanatory paraphrase, approximate translation (also called substitution), and transformation which is another expression for transposition. As all these procedures have been already discussed above in this or in the previous chapters, I will not devote further attention to them. In addition, some theorists with inclusion of Newmark (1988) and Paršin (2000) suggest also the translation procedure called compensation. Newmark (1988) gives an explanation of this procedure as follows, ‖ This is said to occur when loss of meaning, sound-effect, metaphor or pragmatic effect in one part of a sentence is compensated in another part, or in a contiguous sentence‖ (p. 90). Finally, I would like to introduce some translation procedures suggested by Newmark. Among the suggested procedures, both traditional (sometimes under the different name) and modern procedures can be distinguished, for example, transference (also called transcription), naturalisation, cultural equivalent, functional equivalent, descriptive equivalent, synonymy, through-translation (also called calque), shift or transposition, modulation, paraphrase, recognized translation, translation label, 138

componential analysis, reduction and expansion, notes, and couplets which relates to the combination of two or more procedures. In my translation, I used, for instance, recognized translation that relates to the generally accepted or the official translation of any institutional term (Newmark, 1988, p. 89), or naturalisation that adapts the source language word first to the normal pronunciation, then to the normal morphology of the target language (Newmark, 1988, p. 81). The example bellow illustrates recognized translation that occurred in both Hartlová-Císařová‘s and my translation. The English original



All

the

teachers

were Všichni učitelé měli na Všichni učitelé měli na

wearing their best clothes sobě because

it

is

Parents' oblečení,

Evening tonight.

svoje

nejlepší sobě

protoţe

svoje

jsou oblečení,

večer třídní schůzky.

nejlepší

protoţe

večer

jsou třídní schůzky.

Nevertheless, naturalization can be illustrated only by the example from my translation since, as you can see, Hartlová-Císařová did not use this procedure in this case. The English original



So I have not packed the Tak asi nenabalím toaleťák Tak asi nezabalíme roli toilet roll or cornflakes.

nebo kornflejky.

papíru

nebo

kukuřičné

vločky.

139

6 CONCLUSION

The thesis dealt with the terms of equivalence and untranslatability which were first discussed from various aspects, and consequently provided the basis for the analysis of my translation. Since the modern concept of equivalence has its origin in the free/literal translation dichotomy, I regarded essential to comment also on this phenomenon. Furthermore, I attempted to analyse my translation considering all the distinctive features occurring in the original and in my translation. Firstly, my aim was to stress the importance of not translating word-for-word, but paying attention to the meaning and the main idea of the original and preserving its style and the same impression on the readership. Secondly, I wanted to stress that a translator should not be restricted by the differences between two languages resulting in partial or total untranslatability and should use their creativity to provide original and challenging solutions. Moreover, as mentioned in the introduction part, the thesis also focused on the comparison of my translation with Hartlová-Císařová‘s translation. The reason was to show that the translator‘s personality always reflects in their translation and hence two or more different, but still correct translations can co-exist. Nevertheless, I want to point out that the absence of some stylistic devices in the source language does not mean that they cannot be expressed in the target language. In other words, a translator should be aware of the absence of an English direct equivalent to colloquial Czech, and should not hasitate to use colloquial Czech as an equivalent to more or less neutral English if suitable in a given context. To sum up, I enjoyed working on the translation immensely and I believe that it was also very beneficial for me. What is more, I have realised that it is a big challenge to meet all the demands for a modern, lively, and adequate translation. Thus, I personally made every endeavour to manage my taks and I hope that I have succeeded.

140

7 RÉSUMÉ

Тема дипломной работы - перевод и анализ части книги The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ автора Sue Townsend. Работа состоит из двух главных частей. В первой практической части приводятся перевод книги и исходная английская верcия. Вторая теоретическая часть включает биографию автора книги и главного героя, главу посвященную теории перевода, а именно понятиям дословного и свободного перевода, эквивалентности и непереводимости, и главу содержащую анализ самого перевода. Перевод анализируется с точки зрения лексикологии и частично стилистики, и в его рамках мы обращаем внимание прежде всего на безъэквивалентную лексику и возможные способы ее перевода. В анализе также объясняется решение проблем, на которые мы натолкнулись в ходе перевода. К отдельным решениям проблем и примененным способам перевода проводятся примеры не только из подлинного текста и нашего перевода, но также из перевода, который создала Hartlová-Císařová, так как мы хотим эти два перевода сопоставить.

141

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TRANSLATION AND ANALYSIS OF THE EXTRACT FROM THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN MOLE AGED 13 ¾ BY SUE TOWNSEND

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