MASARYK UNIVERSITY FACULTY OF EDUCATION

MASARYK UNIVERSITY FACULTY OF EDUCATION Department of English Language and Literature

Bc. Šárka Nygrýnová

Jára Cimrman's „Záskok“: Translation and Translatability

Master Thesis

Supervisor: doc. Mgr. Martin Adam, Ph.D.

Brno, March 2015

Declaration Hereby I declare that I have worked on my thesis on my own and that no other resources except for those enumerated in bibliography were used.

Prohlášení Prohlašuji, že jsem diplomovou práci vypracovala samostatně za použití pouze těch údajů citovaných v bibliografii. ….................................................................... Šárka Nygrýnová

Acknowledgement I would like to express my gratitude to doc. Mgr. Martin Adam, Ph.D for his kind and patient guidance and moral support as well as valuable advice he provided me with.

Anotation This diploma thesis deals with a translation of the stage play Záskok by Jara Cimrman Theatre from the Czech into English language with the emphasis laid on translatability. The thesis is divided into two parts: The first, practical, part comprises the translation itself and the second, analytical, part focuses on various lexical aspects and features of the translation, predominantly problematics of equivalence, idiomatic and collocative language, Czech specifics and cultural references translatability and the examples of intertextuality. The second part also includes a brief comment on the translation of the same stage play by Cimrman English Studio. Anotace Tato diplomová práce se zabývá překladem divadelní hry Záskok Divadla Járy Cimrmana z českého do anglického jazyka, s důrazem na přeložitelnost textu. Práce je rozdělena do dvou částí: První, praktická, část se skládá z vlastního překladu a druhá, analytická, část se zaměřuje na různé lexikální aspekty a rysy překladu, především problematikou ekvivalence, idiomatického hovorového jazyka, českých specifik a kulturních odkazů a jejich přeložitelnosti a příklady intertextuality. Druhá část také zahrnuje krátký komentář k překladu stejné hry od společnosti Cimrman English Studio.

Key words: Jara Cimrman, Stand-In, stage play, translation, translatability, equivalent, expression Klíčová slova: Jára Cimrman, Záskok, divadelní hra, překlad, přeložitelnost, ekvivalent, výraz

Table of contents Introduction........................................................................................................................6 The aims.............................................................................................................................8 Part 1: Translation of the stage play Záskok......................................................................9 Part 2: Translation analysis..............................................................................................72 1. The methods of translation.......................................................................................72 2. Translation equivalence............................................................................................73 2.1 Zero equivalents.................................................................................................74 2.2 Absolute equivalents..........................................................................................75 2.3 Partial equivalents..............................................................................................75 2.3.1 Formal differences....................................................................................76 Multiple-worded vs. single-worded expressions..........................................76 Explicitness vs. implicitness.........................................................................77 Noun strings and prepositional phrases........................................................78 2.3.2 Denotative differences..............................................................................78 2.3.2.1 Specification.....................................................................................78 2.3.2.2 Generalisation...................................................................................79 2.3.2.3 Semantic contiguity..........................................................................79 2.3.3 Connotative differences............................................................................80 2.3.3.1 Collocations......................................................................................80 2.3.3.2 Idioms...............................................................................................81 2.3.3.3 Vulgarisms and expressives..............................................................86 2.3.3.4 Intensifiers........................................................................................90 2.3.4 Grammatical differences...........................................................................90 2.3.4.1 Gender...............................................................................................91 2.3.4.2 Modes of address..............................................................................94 2.4 Textual equivalence............................................................................................95 2.4.1 Fronting.....................................................................................................95 2.4.2 Cleft sentence............................................................................................95 3. Other specific aspects of the translation...................................................................96 3.1 Proper names......................................................................................................96 3.2 Geographical names.........................................................................................102 3.3 Intertextuality...................................................................................................106 3.3.1 Book titles...............................................................................................107 3.3.2 Character names......................................................................................109 3.3.3 Passages from other stage plays..............................................................110 4. Other untranslatable aspects of the translation.......................................................113 4.1 Rhotacism and pronunciation problems...........................................................113 4.2 Omissions.........................................................................................................113 4.3 Cultural references...........................................................................................114 Thoughts and comments on Stand-In by Cimrman English Studio...............................117 Conclusion......................................................................................................................119 Bibliography...................................................................................................................120

Introduction When I was about ten years old, I remember walking into the living room where my parents were both sitting in front of the TV and laughing incontrollably. It should be noted here that such a situation did not occur in our family too often and so I was instantly intrigued by what on Earth they might be watching. As it turned out later on, it was Cimrman's stage play Dlouhý, Široký a Krátkozraký (Long, Stout and Sharp-Eyes). I was mesmerised. The actors on stage were performing one of my favourite childhood fairy tales but in a very peculiar way: they were all men, including the female parts, the characters appearing in the play were taken from other stage plays apparently at random and what stroke me as the oddest was their acting. I used to attend drama classes since I was six and I flattered myself for knowing a tad little about how not to act. These gentlemen seemed to break half the rules: very stiff bearing, as if not acting at all, maintaining one facial expression and declaiming most of the lines. Despite all these oddities – or just because of them – the performance was hilarious and something close to lifetime affinity was born that day. Some wise person once remarked that in order to be able to grasp the concept of being Czech, it is crucial to understand the enormous importance of Jára Cimrman. The brainchild of prominent Czech playwrights, actors and directors Zdeněk Svěrák and Ladislav Smoljak and a writer and playwright Jiří Šebánek is the most famous fictional character ever conceived within the Czech literature. His name appeared for the first time in a radio play Nealkoholická vinárna U Pavouka (Spider's Teetotaller Winehouse) in September 1966 and a year later the stage play Akt (Act) was performed, being the first play of the new Jara Cimrman Theatre.1 Jára Cimrman was initially depicted as a naive sculpturer, but in the course of time his authors attributed him with several other qualities, pastimes and occupations on various fields: criminalistics, theatre, pedagogy, inventions, music and many others. The most remarkable feature of his life story is his unceasing misfortune in terms of fame and appreciation despite his enormous lifelong effort. He was always marginalised and frequently arrived late to receive acknowledgement for his work. All his vain effort notwithstanding, he is a representation of undying diligence and endeavour. 1

http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divadlo_J%C3%A1ry_Cimrmana

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As Přemysl Rut (a playwright, actor and theatre pedagogist) recalls in his foreword to a collection of all Cimrman's plays, initially, a great number of spectators truly believed in the existence of the Cimrman mystification. He himself accredits this fact to the belief widely spread in 1970s that the institution of radio was serious and did not tend to provide untruthful information concerning entertainment (Rut, 8. Transl. Š. N.). He also explains that the laughter often resounding during the stage plays was no ordinary reaction of the audience, it was the knowing laughter which differentiated the spectator from the mass of people unaware of it (Rut, 7. Transl. Š. N.). In short, they were let in on the joke, they shared something extraordinary, they belonged to the group of „consecrated“. When the Russian occupation started in 1968, suddenly the original idea of Cimrman Theatre – light entertainment and kind practical jokes played on the accepting audience – changed dramatically, as Rut remarks „without the need to replace but one word“ (Rut, 8. Transl. Š. N.). Cimrman's moving life story abruptly became an allegory of the tens of intellectuals, directors, writers and a number of others who were forbidden to express their artistic ideas. After the Velvet Revolution, Cimrman's fame did not falter, despite the fact that a mere third of the overall number of stage plays were written until this day, České nebe (Czech Heaven) remaning with the highest probability the last one forever. The famous lines are still frequently being quoted, the amount of performances reached stunning numbers: in 1997 the theatre was signed into Guiness Book of World Records for 7678 performances during 30 years of existence, in 2004 the ensemble celebrated their 10 000th reprise ever, in 2006 a 1000th reprise of the stage play Vyšetřování ztráty třídní knihy (The Missing Class Register Investigation) took place and, unbelievably, in 2005 Jára Cimrman became an unofficial winner of The Greatest Czech competition. However, his participation was later cancelled as it was not allowed to vote for fictional candidates. Out of fifteen Cimrman's plays all proved very successful among the audience and received praising critiques. Quite understandably, certain plays became more popular that the others. According to surveys, among the best-liked plays belong Záskok (StandIn) and Dobytí Severního pólu (The North Pole Conquest)2. However, Záskok is the only stage play from the repertoire of Jara Cimrman Theatre to have ever received Cena 2

Available at http://tn.nova.cz/clanek/zpravy/domaci/zvolte-nejlepsi-hru-jary-cimrmana.html, http://www.csfd.cz/film/43947-zaskok/, http://www.csfd.cz/film/166128-dobyti-severniho-polu/,

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Alfréda Radoka (Alfred Radok Award) for the best stage play in 1994 and in 1997 it was even performed on stage of the National Theatre in Prague.3 Moreover, Zdeněk Svěrák himself acknowledged Záskok's greatest popularity and attributes it to the authors' exceptionally good idea when devising the plot: the setting of a travelling troupe in need whose play is seemingly going to be saved by an acting ace from Pilsen but who in fact does not study his lines and spoils the play completely, was very popular among the spectators (Svěrák, radio interview. 0:20 – 0:50)4. Both these factors played significant role in decision making concerning which play would be the most appropriate for this Diploma Thesis, along with the author's personal preferences.

The aims The main aim of this thesis is to translate and analyse the stage play Záskok with an emphasis laid on the question of translatability of the cultural references and national specifics, idiomatic, colloquial and expressive language, various differences between the two languages (grammatical, stylistical) and the translation problems concerning appropriate equivalents. The first part of the thesis comprises the very translation, the second analytical part is divided into several subchapters dealing with indvidual problems and points of the translation. The final, third, part consists of a brief comparison and comment on the translation of the stage play Záskok by Cimrman English Studio from October 2014 and the conclusion.

3 4

Available at http://www.cimrman.at/list.php?l=4 Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/kultura/cimrman/_zprava/413265

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Part 1: Translation of the stage play Záskok Záskok

Stand-in

Část A /Úvodní seminář/

Part A /Introductory seminar/

Námět pro hru Záskok čerpal Cimrman z

Cimrman's artistic status quo had always

prostředí, kde se nejvíc naplnil jeho

been the theatre. The plot of the stage play

umělecký osud – z divadla. Úvodní

Stand-in was therefore drawn from

seminář přináší tedy i řadu postřehů o

theatrical environment. The introductory

životě jeho kočující herecké společnosti.

seminar itroduces a number of remarks on everyday life of his travelling troupe.

Hamlet bez Hamleta

Hamletfree Hamlet

Tma jako v pytli

The Pitchest Black

Korespondence Cimrman – Stroupežnický Cimrman-Stroupeznicky Correspondence Herecké desatero

The Decalogue of an Actor

Hamlet bez Hamleta

Hamletfree Hamlet

Prof. Milon Cepelka:

Professor Miloň Čepelka:

Dobrý večer, milí přátelé.

Good evening dear friends.

Dnešní představení vás zavede na začátek

Tonight, our performance will take you to

minulého století, do časů, kdy Jára

the beginning of the last century, to the

Cimrman jako principál herecké

times when Jara Cimrman wandered, as a

společnosti Lipany putoval od štace ke

director of his travelling troupe, from one

štaci, aby venkovskému publiku přitažlivou gig to another to provide the simple folk divadelní formou poskytoval zábavu a

audience with entertainment and morality

ponaučení.

by means of appealing theatrical performances.

Pokusme se na základě kusých svědectví

Let us try to disclose what was special

pamětníků a obecních kronik vystopovat,

about Cimrman's travelling troupe by the

čím byl Cimrmanův kočovný divadelní

aid of municipal chronicles and

podnik zvláštní.

fragmentary testimonies of his contemporaries.

Především to byl malý počet herců. V době First and foremost, it was a small number největšího zájmu publika měl šest členů.

of actors. At the time of its biggest popularity the troupe had six members. 9

Pokud Cimrman uváděl hru vlastní, počítal When Cimrman performed his own play, he s omezeností souboru již při psaní. Horší

counted with the staff limitation while

bylo, když chtěl uvést náročnější kus z

writing it. A worse situation came when he

cizího pera.

strove to perform a far more challenging play by another author.

Jeho divadelní družina se stala pověstnou

His theatre company became famous for

právě tím, jak důmyslně se dokázala s

the resourceful way of dealing with such a

tímto úkolem vypořádat.

challenging task.

Po prohraném soudním sporu s Ladislavem After losing the litigation with a playwright Stroupežnickým, jehož Furianty sehrál ve

Ladislav Stroupežnický (whose 'Our

třech lidech, zvolal Cimrman při odchodu

Dandies' Cimrman performed with three

ze soudní síně: “Vaši Naši Furianti mi

people) and when leaving the court room,

můžou být ukradení!”

Cimrman exclaimed: “I don't give a damn to Your 'Our Dandies'!”

A od té chvíle se zásadně věnoval autorům And ever since, he focused on the zahraničním nebo bezpečně mrtvým.

playwrights who had been abroad or –

Odvážně například snížil počet sester v

preferably – deceased. For instance, he

Čechovově hře na jednu, Alibabu a čtyřicet boldly reduced the number of sisters in loupežníků úspěšně uváděl pod názvem

Čechov's play to mere one and he staged

Samotář Alibaba.

the play Alibaba and Forty Thieves under the name of Alibaba the Solitaire.

V době, kdy neměl žádného představitele

At a time when his troupe lacked women

dámských rolí, neváhal Cimrman hrát

actors, Cimrman didn't hesitate to play the

slavné Ibsenovo drama pod názvem Nor.

famous Flaubert's piece as Mad Man Bovary.

Ve složitějších případech musel sáhnout k

In some more complicated cases he was

drsnějším textovým úpravám. Přímo

forced to make more drastical

husarským kouskem, o němž se v

modifications. A real derring-do which was

divadelních kruzích dlouho mluvilo, bylo

discussed in the theatre world for a long

jeho uvedení Shakespearova Hamleta bez

time was his staging of Shakespeare's

Hamleta.

Hamletfree Hamlet.

Abyste názorně viděli, jak si Cimrman

To provide you with the evidence how

vtipně poradil, přečteme vám nejprve

wittily Cimrman tackled the challenge, we

úryvek z originální verze v překladu

will first read an extract from the original 10

Milana Lukeše. Kolega Šimon bude číst

version. Our colleague Šimon will read the

Hamleta, kolega Svěrák královnu a kolega

part of Hamlet, Mr Svěrák the queen and

Weigel přečte krále.

Mr Weigel will be the king.

Hamlet bez Hamleta

Hamletfree Hamlet

Král: Co ty, Hamlete, synovče a synu?

King: But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my

Cože tě pořád obestírá chmura?

son. How is it that the clouds still hang on you?

Hamlet: Naopak: vždyť jsem na výsluní

Hamlet: Not so, my lord. I am too much i'

přízně.

th' sun.

Královna: Hamlete, odlož konečně tu čerň

Queen: Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted

a přátelsky hleď na dánského krále!

colour off, and let thine eye look like a

Nepátrej po svém urozeném otci. Je to tak

friend on Denmark.

běžné: živí musí zemřít.

Do not for ever with thy vailed lids seek for thy noble father in the dust. Thou know'st 'tis common. All that lives must die.

Hamlet: Je to tak běžné, paní.

Hamlet: Ay, madam, it is common.

Královna: A když je, proč tobě se to zdá tak Queen: If it be, why seems it so particular podivné?

with thee?

Hamlet: Ten inkoustový plášť, má milá

Hamlet: 'Tis not alone my inky cloak, good

matko, ani ta čerň, co obvykle se nosí,

mother, nor customary suits of solemn

úrodně rozvodněné oči, tvář

black, no, nor the fruitful river in the eye,

příslušně sklíčená – žádná z těch forem,

nor the dejected havior of the visage,

projevů, druhů smutku nemohou mě věrně together with all forms, moods, shapes of vystihnout.

grief, 'that can denote me truly.

Král: Ten cit tě šlechtí, milý Hamlete, ale

King: ‘Tis sweet and commendable in your

setrvávat v zaryté lítosti je nemužné.

nature, Hamlet. But to persevere in obstinate condolement is a course of impious stubbornness.

Čepelka: Ano, to stačí. Díky tomu, že se

Čepelka: Yes, that will do.

dochoval starý sešitový výtisk hry s

It is thanks to the fact that an old notebook

Cimrmanovými škrty a doplňky, můžeme

with the play including Cimrman's notes

vám teď přečíst stejnou pasáž slavného

and revisions was found that we can read

Hamleta bez Hamleta. Čili kolegu Šimona

the same passage of the famous Hamletfree 11

už nebudeme potřebovat.

Hamlet. So we will not need our colleague Šimon any more.

Královna: Zlá novina, králi! Hamlet se nám Queen: Bad news, my king! Hamlet hid zase schoval.

away again.

Král: Škoda, chtěl jsem mu zrovna říct:

King: Pity, I've just meant to tell him: But

Co ty, Hamlete, synovče a synu? Cože tě

now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son. How

pořád obestírá chmura?

is it that the clouds still hang on you?

Ale jako bych slyšel, co na to řekne:

But as if he were standing here, I know

Naopak, vždyť jsem na výsluní přízně.

what he would reply: Not so, my lord. I am too much i' th' sun.

Královna: Ano, to je celý on. A víš, co já

Queen: Yes, that's just like him. And do you

bych mu na to řekla? Řekla bych:

know what I would tell him? I would say:

Hamlete, odlož konečně tu čerň a přátelsky Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off, hleď na dánského krále!

and let thine eye look like a friend on

Nepátrej po svém urozeném otci. Je to tak

Denmark.

běžné: živí musí zemřít.

Do not for ever with thy vailed lids seek for thy noble father in the dust. Thou know'st 'tis common. All that lives must die.

Král: Správně. A víš, co by ti na to řek?

King: That's right. And d'you know what he would tell ya?

Královna: Ne.

Queen: No.

Král: Řek by: Je to tak běžné, paní.

King: He'd tell ya: Ay, madam, it is common.

Královna: Ano, ano. Takhle on se

Queen: Yes, yes. That's how he always tries

vykrucuje. Ale já bych se nedala. Pěkně

to quibble away. But I wasn't born

bych se ho zeptala:

yesterday. I would ask him straight away: If

A když je, proč tobě se to zdá tak podivné? it be, why seems it so particular with thee? Král: No, to bys tomu dala! To by byla

King: Now you would have put your foot in

voda na jeho mlýn. Víš, jak je užvaněnej.

it! That would just suit him well! You know how wishy-washy he is.

Královna: Až hrůza. Vím přesně, jak

Queen: As hell. I know exactly how cheesy

šroubovaně by na mou prostou otázku

and gritty his answer would be. We spoke

odpověděl.

about a similar matter only the other day, at

Onehdy jsme o něčem podobném mluvili,

times when he didn't use to hide himself so 12

to bylo ještě v době, kdy se tolik

much, and do you know what he told me?

neschovával, a víš, co mi řek? Schválně

I put it down just for good measure

jsem si to tady zapsala (čte):

(reading):

Ten inkoustový plášť, má milá matko, ani

'Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,

ta čerň, co obvykle se nosí, úrodně

nor customary suits of solemn black, no,

rozvodněné oči...

nor the fruitful river in the eye...

Král: To je sloh! My jsme ho neměli dávat King: What a horrible composition! We studovat.

shouldn't have let him study.

Kdo to přeložil, prosím tě? Královna: Nějakej Lukeš. Poslouchej dál:

Queen: And there's more: ...nor the dejected

Tvář příslušně sklíčená – žádná z těch

havior of the visage, together with all

forem, projevů, druhů smutku nemohou mě forms, moods, shapes of grief, 'that can věrně vystihnout.

denote me truly.

Král: Já nevím, já ho snad půjdu najít a

King: I don't know, I might as well go find

řeknu mu:

him and tell him:

Ten cit tě šlechtí, milý Hamlete,

'Tis sweet and commendable in your nature,

ale setrvávat v zaryté lítosti je nemužné.

Hamlet. But to persevere in obstinate

Zrovna tak nemužné jako pořád se

condolement is a course of impious

schovávat jako malej kluk.

stubbornness. As it is equally impious to hide yourself like a little kid.

Čepelka: Děkuji vám, pánové.

Čepelka: Thank you gentlemen. You may

Možná vás bude zajímat, jak na Hamleta v be wondering how Cimrman's Hamlet was Cimrmanově úpravě reagovalo publikum.

received by the audience.

V pečlivě vedené kronice města Kopidlno

A conscientious-written chronicle of the

jsme našli vzpomínku na hostování jeho

town of Kopidlno gives us an account of his

kočovné společnosti Lipany v sále místní

travelling troupe Lipany performance in the

radnice 15. října 1906:

local townshall on 15th October 1906.

- Když se v lékárně p. Hoffmana objevila

- When an announcement appeared in Mr.

cedule, že herecký spolek u nás sehraje

Hoffman's apothecary that a theatre

světoznámý kus Hamlet, bylo to veřejností company would play a world-renown piece příznivě kvitováno.

Hamlet, the general public opinion was positive. 13

Lékárník Hoffman, který hru viděl vloni v

Hoffman the Pharmacist who had seen the

Národním divadle v Praze, osobně

stage play last year in the National Theatre

doporučoval všem zákazníkům návštěvu

in Prague, personally recommended it to all

představení a vzdělanějším prozradil i

the customers and to those more educated

chemické složení jedu, jenž bude večer

ones he even let slip the chemical

vpraven princovu otci do ucha.

composition of the poison which was to be inserted in the prince's father's ear later that night.

Představení samo až do přestávky bylo

Until the break, the performance itself was

sledováno s napětím, zda se Hamlet, na

watched with anticipation whether Hamlet

kterého se všichni těšili, konečně objeví na to whom everybody was looking forward jevišti. Jelikož se však i v druhé polovině

would finally makes his appearance

kusu někde skrýval, lékárník Hoffman

onstage. But since he kept hiding away in

zorganizoval skupinu dobrovolníků, která

the second half of the play as well, the

se nabídla, že prince najde.

pharmacist Hoffman arranged a group of volunteers to find the prince.

Hajný Sodomka přivedl z přilehlého lokálu Sodommie the Gamekeeper brought his dog svého psa, žádaje jakoukoli součást

from a pub nearby, asking for any prince's

princova oděvu, aby křepelák chytil stopu. garment for the hound to catch the scent. Herci se však z nepochopitelných důvodů

However, the actors were opposing the

pátrání bránili, ačkoli si sami publiku

search for unfathomable reasons, even

neustále stěžovali, že nemohou Hamleta

though they had been constantly

najíti.

complaining to the audience that they hadn't been able to find Hamlet.

Po bezvýsledné výměně názorů mezi

After the fruitless audience-stage

jevištěm a hledištěm zorganizoval lékárník discussion, the pharmacist arranged another Hoffman druhou skupinu, která se rozhodla group to reclaim the entrance fees. vymáhat zpátky vstupné. Principál společnosti se pokoušel

The director of the travelling troupe tried to

vzrůstající vřavu utišit, ale nebylo jej

calm down the rising uproar, but nobody

slyšeti, neboť celý hrad Elsinor postupně

could hear him for the whole Castle of

odnesl jakýsi vichr z hor, který, jak se

Elsinor was taken by a certain mountain

dušoval pan lékárník, na Národním vůbec

gale which, the pharmacist swore, was not

nebyl.

in the National Theatre at all. 14

Divadlo skončilo doslova fiaskem.

The performance ended in a complete

Nakonec totiž nebyl k nalezení nejen

disaster. Finally, not only Hamlet was

Hamlet, ale nikdo z herecké tlupy, která

nowhere to be found, but neither was

nakvap opustila město směrem k Jičínu.

anybody from the troupe which left the town in haste making their way towards the town of Jičín.

Zástup rozhořčených diváků, který se

The crowd of outraged spectators which

vyhrnul ze sálu na náměstí, bude dlouho

rushed out of the town hall into the square

vzpomínat na slova, která poslal za

will long remember the words sent after the

prchajícími herci lékárník Hoffman: “Ještě escaping actors by the pharmacist: “Drop in jednou sem páchněte a uvidíte, jaký vám

again and you shall see what I have in store

dám kapky!”

for you!“

Děkuji za pozornost.

Thank you for your attention.

Tma jako v pytli

The Pitchest Black

Doc. Jaroslav Weigel:

Senior Lecturer Jaroslav Weigel:

V době Cimrmanova hereckého kočování

During the times when Cimrman's troupe

byla většina hospodských sálů a sokoloven travelled around most of the pubs and již elektrifikována.

gathering halls were already electrified.

Ale poměrně často se stávalo, že uprostřed However, it occured now and then that in představení došlo k přerušení dodávky

the middle of the performance there was a

proudu a celé divadlo se ponořilo do tmy.

sudden black out and the whole room fell into darkness.

Zapalovat svíčky či petrolejové lampy bylo After the fire of the National Theatre all po požáru Národního divadla přísně

candles or kerosene lamps were strictly

zakázáno. Muselo se tedy čekat, až se

forbidden. There was no choice but to wait

závada odstraní.

until the failure was eliminated.

Pro tyto nepříjemné chvíle čekání napsal

For these inconvenient moments of waiting

Cimrman vtipnou scénickou vložku, která

Cimrman wrote a humorous sketch which

se celá odehrávala potmě.

all took place in the dark.

Když jsme ji v pozůstalosti herce Oty Plka When we found it in the possession of late našli, uvědomili jsme si, že tu Jára

Otto Blab, we realised that Jára Cimrman

Cimrman dávno před vynálezem rozhlasu

had laid basis of a sound drama long before

položil základy k rozhlasové hře.

the invention of the radio. 15

Posuďte sami. Prosím, zhasněte světlo.

Please judge for yourself. Turn off the

(Zhasne se.)

lights. (The lights go out.)

Herec: Velevážené publikum, zůstaňte na

Actor: Dearest audience, kindly don´t leave

svých místech. V důsledku poruchy

your seats. Due to the power cut we will

elektrického osvětlení sehrajeme vám

play for your entertainment a jolly sketch

veselý výstup “Tma jako v pytli”.

called “The Pitchest Black”.

Krejčí: Manželko, nevadí ti, že odcházím z Tailor: Wife, do you not mind me leaving domova a nechávám tě tu samotnou v

you here alone in our flat which is at the

našem bytě, který je zároveň krejčovskou

same time a tailor's workshop?

dílnou? Žena: Nevadí. Vím, že jako krejčí musíš za Wife: No matter. I know that as a tailor you svými zákazníky z domu, když nám tak

have to visit your customers at their homes

často vypínají světlo a ty tu nevidíš na

when there is such a frequent power cut and

práci.

you can't work without light.

Krejčí: Tak sbohem, manželko.

Tailor: Farewell then, my wife.

Žena: Sbohem, manželi. A nebouchej

Wife: Farewell, husband. And don't slam

dveřmi, ať neprobudíš dědečka, který spí

the door not to wake up the grandpa who's

ve vedlejší místnosti.

asleep in the next room.

Je pryč. Už jsem se bála, že neodejde.

He's gone. I started to worry that he would

Každou chvíli totiž přijde můj milenec

never leave. Francis Křižík, my paramour,

František Křižík.

will be coming any time now.

Má továrnu na elektřinu a udělá poruchu,

He owns a power station and he makes

kdykoli chceme manžela vystrnadit z

electricity faulty any time we want to

domu.

bundle my husband away.

(Ozve se klepání)

(A sound of knocking)

To jsi ty, miláčku? Pojď dál, vzduch je

Is that you, my darling? Come in, the coast

čistý.

is clear.

Křižík: Drahá! Konečně tě držím v náručí.

Křižík: My sweetheart! In my arms at last!

Och, jaké máš pevné boky.

Oh, how firm your hips are.

Žena: Ale to je krejčovská panna,

Wife: But that's a tailor's dummy, Francis.

Františku. Křižík: Promiň. A teď? Jsi to ty? Nejsi

Křižík: Sorry. And now? Is it you? Aren't

panna?

you a dummy?

Žena: Ale Františku!

Wife: Francis!

16

Křižík: Už tě poznávám. Kdybys byla

Křižík: I recognize you now. If you were a

panna, měla bys tady odsud k podlaze

dummy, there would be a long wooden pole

dřevěnou štangli.

from this place here to the floor.

Žena: Kde jsi, Františku?

Wife: Where are you, Francis?

Křižík: Tady, miláčku. Smím tě políbit?

Křižík: I'm here, my beloved. May I kiss you?

Žena: Polib mě, Františku.

Wife: Please do, Francis.

Křižík: Mně připadá, že máš v puse fajfku. Křižík: It seems to me that you have a pipe in your mouth. Žena: Dědo?! Vy jste tady?!

Wife: Grandpa?! Are you here?!

Děda: Jo. Hledám svíčku. Kdo to tu s tebou Grandpa: Yep. Looking for a candle. What je, že mě pořád olizuje?

kind of snogger is it here with you?

Žena: To je Venouš. Můj muž a tvůj syn.

Wife: That´s Willie. My husband and your

Běž spát. Najdu svíčku sama.

son. Go to sleep. I'll find the candle myself.

Děda: Tak já jdu. Dobrou noc.

Grandpa: All right. Good night.

Křižík: Konečně sami, drahá. Celý život

Křižík: Alone at last, my dearest. I'd love to

bych ti chtěl takhle klečet u nohou.

be kneeling at your feet for the rest of my days.

Žena: Kleč, Františku, kleč.

Wife: Kneel, Francis, kneel.

Děda: Poslyš, snacho, vrátil jsem se. Nějak Grandpa: Listen, daughter-in-law, I'm back. se mi nezdá ten hlas. Jsi to opravdu ty,

That sound of his voice is a bit fishy. Is it

Venouši? Kde jsi? Aha, tady. Co, že jseš

really you, Willie? Where are you? I see,

tak malej?

here. How come you're so short?

Žena: Dědo, Venouš teď odešel. Tohle je

Wife: Grandpa, Willie has just left. This is

sousedovic malý Mirek. Jeho mamince zas little Luke from next door. His mum has došel ocet.

run out of cheese again.

Děda: K čemu potřebujete tolik octa?

Grandpa: What do you need so much

Vždyť jseš tu pro něj každej den.

cheese for? You keep comin' to get some ev'ry day.

(Ozve se zaklepání)

(A sound of knocking)

Žena: Kdo je?

Wife: Who's there?

Mirek: Dobrý večer, jsem sousedovic malý Luke: Good evening, I'm little Luke from Mirek. Mamince zas došel ocet.

next door. My mum's run out of cheese again.

Děda: To jsem blázen...

Grandpa: What the... 17

Říkalas, že tady ten, co ho držím za vlasy,

You said that this one whose hair I'm

je sousedovic malý Mirek.

clutching is little Luke from the next door.

Žena: Sousedi mají dva malé chlapce,

Wife: The neighbours have two little boys,

dědo.

grandpa.

Děda: A oba jsou Mirkové?

Grandpa: And they're both Lukes?

Žena: Ano. Mají dva malé Mirky. Vy už

Wife: Yes. They have two little Lukes. You

taky nic neudržíte, dědo.

can't hold a thought to save your life, grandpa.

Děda: Jednoho Mirka jsem udržel.

Grandpa: I managed to hold one Luke.

(Ozve se zaklepání)

(A sound of knocking)

Žena: Kdo je?

Wife: Who's there?

Sousedka: Dobrý večer. Jsem vaše

Neighbour: Good evening. I am your

sousedka. Není tady náš Mirek?

neighbour. Is our little Luke in here?

Děda: Jsou tu oba vaši Mirkové.

Grandpa: Both of your little Lukes are here.

Sousedka: Oba? Já mám jen jednoho

Neighbour: Both of them? But I have just

Mirka.

one little Luke.

Děda: Vidíš, snacho, sousedka je mladší a

Grandpa: See, daughter-in-law? The

taky udrží jen jednoho Mirka.

neighbour is much younger and she can hold just one little Luke, too.

Krejčí: To jsem rád, že jsem neodešel za

Tailor: I am so glad that I didn't leave to my

svými zákazníky a svůj odchod jsem jen

customers and I only pretended to.

předstíral. Žena: Probůh, manželi, tys byl celou dobu

Wife: Bless my soul! Husband, you've been

zde?

here all this time?

Krejčí: Ano, konečně jsem se dozvěděl,

Tailor: Yes. And finally I found out why

proč nám tak často vypínají proud. Pojď

there is a power cut so often. Come here,

sem, Křižíku! Kde jsi? Á, tady klečíš.

Křižík! Where are you? Oh yes, here you are, kneeling.

Mirek: Já jsem Mirek.

Luke: I'm little Luke.

Krejčí: Promiň, Mirku. Tak tohle je Křižík! Tailor: Sorry, Luke. So this must be Křižík! Křižík: Já jsem taky Mirek.

Křižík: I too am Luke.

Krejčí: Nekecej. Je jenom jeden Mirek.

Tailor: Rubbish. There´s only one little

Druhej je tu na ocet.

Luke. The other one's here just to cheese

Křižíku, pamatuj si, ještě jednou vypneš

me off. Křižík, don't you dare to make

elektřinu...

another power cut... 18

Křižík: Slibuju, že nevypnu, pane mistře.

Křižík: I promise I won't, master tailor. I've

Se zálety jsem dneska skoncoval.

finished with chasing women for good. I

Musím si zkrátka vybrat: buď moje nová

need to make my choice: either my new arc

oblouková lampa, nebo vaše stará.

lamp deary or your old one.

A nyní mě omluvte, musím nahodit

And if you could excuse me now, I have to

generátor.

start the generator.

Viděli jste, přátelé, respektive slyšeli, jak

You have seen, or let us say heard, how

Cimrman využil výpadku proudu k

Cimrman took advantage of blackouts to

pobavení publika.

entertain the audience.

Scénku “Tma jako v pytli” hrála jeho

The sketch „The Pitchest Black“ was

společnost několik let se stejným ohlasem, performed for several years with the same jakého jsme byli svědky dnes, a to až do

reception as you have witnessed today,

roku 1913, kdy navštívil divadelní

until 1913 when Frantisek Křižík appeared

představení František Křižík s chotí.

at the performance with his spouse.

Sám Křižík by byl přešel celou záležitost s Křižík himself would have glossed the humorem, ale jeho paní trvala na tom, že

whole matter over, but his wife insisted that

scénka musí být stažena z repertoáru a

the play had to be taken from the repertoire

výpadky proudu musí přestat.

and the blackouts needed to stop.

Korespondence Cimrman-Stroupežnický

Cimrman – Stroupeznicky correspondence

Odb. as. Genadij Rumlena:

Genadij Rumlena, PhD.

Cimrman dramatik nosil na dně své

At the bottom of his troubled soul,

neklidné duše jeden velký sen: dočkat se

Cimrman the Playwright bore a great

uvedení vlastní hry na prknech Národního

dream: to live to see his own stage play on

divadla.

the boards of the National Theatre.

O sžíravosti této mnohaleté touhy svědčí

We can find an example of how much

jeho korespondence s prvním dramaturgem passionate this desire was in his naší první scény Ladislavem

correspondence with Ladislav

Stroupežnickým.

Stroupežnický, a script editor of the Main Stage.

Stroupežnický, povaha umíněná a

Stroupežnický was of a pigheaded nature

argumentům protivníka naprosto

and he did not like to be reasoned by his

nepřístupná, během svého desetiletého

adversary. During his ten years in the

působení ve zlaté kapličce shodil

“golden chapel” he blew about five 19

nemilosrdně ze stolu přes pět set

hundred stage plays into smithereens. A

divadelních her. Značnou část té hromady

considerable part of this heap comprised

odmítnutých rukopisů tvořila díla Járy

the work by Jára Cimrman, Adalbert

Cimrmana, Adalberta Kolínského a Elišky

Kolínský and Eliška Kutnohorská, the two

Kutnohorské, což byly Cimrmanovy

latter of which were Cimrman's pen names.

pseudonymy. S laskavostí Divadelního oddělení

Today, we can briefly look into the

Národního muzea můžeme dnes

passionate letters these two great spirits of

nahlédnout do vášnivých dopisů, které si

the Czech theatre exchanged in 1890, a

dva velcí duchové českého divadla

courtesy of the National Theatre.

vyměnili v roce 1890. Tato korespondence je pro nás cenná i

This correspondence is priceless also for

proto, že podává svědectví o Cimrmanově

the reason of providing us with evidence of

ztracené bájeslovné hře Čechové na Řípu.

Cimrman's lost mythological play Czechs on Rip.

Já budu číst dopisy Járy Cimrmana, kolega I will be reading the letters by Jára Kašpar listy Ladislava Stroupežnického.

Cimrman and my colleague Kašpar those by Ladislav Stroupežnický.

V Čáslavi 12. ledna 1890

The town of Čáslav, 12th January 1890

Slovutný pane, píši vám z města, kde byl

Esteemed sir, I am writing to you from the

pochován Jan Žižka a kde moje divadelní

town where Jan Zizka was buried and

společnost dávala včera před vyprodaným

where my travelling troupe played a

hledištěm můj historický kus Čechové na

historical piece Czechs on Rip before the

Řípu.

sold-out hall.

Rukopis této své hry se zpěvy jsem Vám

I offered you a manuscript of this play of

před rokem nabídl a zdá se mi, že je u Vás

mine a year ago and it appears to me that it

pochován podobně jako Žižka zde. Byl

is buried at your place just like Žižka is in

bych Vám vděčen za zprávu o tom, zda jste here. I would be very grateful for a word if mé drama četl a co o něm soudíte.

you have read my stage play and what your opinion is.

Kašpar: V Praze 6. února 1890

Kašpar: Prague, 6th February 1890

Vážený pane, Váš dramatický pokus jsem

Dear sir, I regret to admit that I have read

bohužel četl. Nevím věru, co vám vytknout your dramatical would-be piece indeed. dříve, zda chatrný děj, mátožnost postav, či Truth be told, I am at a loss as what to 20

veškěré prohřešky proti zákonům dramatu, reprehend first: a poor plot, dim-witted která jste stihl učiniti již během prvního

characters or all the offences against the

jednání. A to nemluvím o tom, co by řeklo

laws of drama which you managed to

publikum vaší svérázné představě o úsvitu

commit during the very first act, not

naší národní historie.

speaking of what the audience would say if they were confronted with your eccentric notion of the dawn of our national history.

Tomu, jak na posvátnou horu přichází

I am of course talking about the arrival of

nejen praotec Čech, ale i praotec Žid a

not only the Forefather Czech, but also the

praotec Němec. Když se v závěru Vaší hry Forefathers Jew and German to the sacred Čechové dovědí, že od Roudnice míří k

mountain Rip.

hoře také praotec Cikán, byl jsem

When at the end of your play the Czechs

konsternován. Uvědomujete si mimo jiné,

learn that even the Forefather Gypsy is

že tenkrát ještě žádná Roudnice nebyla?

heading for the mountain from Roudnice, I was stunned. Laying other issues aside, do you realise that at those times there was no Roudnice at all?

Nevím, čím jste vyučen či v jakém oboru

I don't know your education or an area in

vyškolen, ale s čistým svědomím Vám

which you have been trained but I can

mohu doporučit, abyste pokusů

recommend you with a clear conscience to

dramatických zanechal a věnoval se práci

abandon all dramatic efforts and dedicate

jakékoli, ale jiné.

yourself to any job possible but this.

Kašpar: V Čimelicích 10. března 1890

Kašpar: The town of Čimelice 10th March 1890

Vážený pane Stroupežnický,

Dear Mr Stroupežnický,

Váš dopis z 6. února mne utvrdil v tom, že Your letter of February 6 confirmed my ani Vy, tak dobrý spisovatel, jste mou hru

belief that even such a good writer as you

Čechové na Řípu nepochopil.

are did not fathom the idea of my stage play Czechs on Rip.

My, kteří táhneme káru Tylovu po venkově, I daresay that we who pursue troublesome vidíme arci život jináč než vy, co v Praze

nomadic life in the countryside, we do see

sedíte jako ve skleníku.

the life in a different way than all of you sitting in Prague as if in a greenhouse.

Že jsem nechal přijíti na horu Říp i praotce There is an educatory purpose in letting 21

Němce, praotce Žida a blížiti se i

both the Forefathers German and Jew

osmahlého praotce Cikána v krytém voze

arrive, as well as the Forefather Gypsy

plném kradených slepic, má svůj výchovný approach (in a wagon full of stolen hens) smysl.

Rip mountain.

V české kotlině, jestli Vám to neušlo,

As you may have noticed, it is not only

nežijeme jen my Čechové. V pospolitosti

Czechs who live in the Czech basin. The

zde musí žíti i jiní potomci jiných praotců. descendants of other Forefathers have to dwell here in our community. Také oni jsou v mém divadle vítáni a přál

Even they are welcome in my theatre and I

bych Vám viděti, jak radostně můj výklad

wish you could see them accepting my

dějin přijímají.

interpretation of our history with delight.

Jsem vám velice vděčen za postřeh o

I am very grateful for your remark on the

Roudnici. Ta tenkrát ještě nebyla a já

town of Roudnice. There was none at that

uznávám, že je to kravina.

time and I admit this idea is totally goofy.

Kašpar: V Praze 5. listopadu 1890

Kašpar: Prague, 5th November 1890

Vážený pane,

Dear sir,

Po Vaší návštěvě u mne v Praze, kdy jsem

After you paid me a visit in Prague when I

Vám nemohl vrátit manuskript Vaší hry

wasn't able to give you back your

Čechové na Řípu z toho prostého důvodu,

manuscript Czechs on Rip for the simple

že halda zamítnutých rukopisů Vám

reason that the pile of rejected manuscripts

podobných autorů je obrovská a divadelní

is vast and the theatre servant who could

sluha, který by Vám jej mohl vyhledat, má search it out for you was suffering from pásový opar, vracím Vám tento poštou a

shingles, I am sending it back and notifying

zároveň Vám sděluji, že nadobro ukončuji

you that our conversation has therewithal

naši konverzaci.

come to an end.

Neberte si to prosím osobně. Stejným

Please, do not take it personally. I am

způsobem ukončuji dopisování například s ending a letter conversation with Mr p. Adalbertem Kolínským a s pí Eliškou

Adalbert Kolinsky and Eliska Kutnohorska

Kutnohorskou.

as well.

Jen vy tři, jak jsem spočítal, jste mne

The three of you as such have deprived me

připravili o 96 pracovních hodin, to jest

of 96 working hours, which is full four

plné čtyři dny života, čímž jste předstihli

days of my life, and thereby outshining

pány Zeyera i Vrchlického.

Messrs Zeyer and Vrchlicky.

S pozdravem “Nepiště mi, a pokud možno

With a hearty wish “Don't write me down 22

nepište vůbec.” Ladislav Stroupežnický

and if possible, don't write at all.” Ladislav Stroupežnický

Rumlena: Milý Láďo,

Rumlena: Dear Laddie,

Proč my si dávno netykáme, ty stará vojno? Why aren't we on first name terms yet, old sport? Dočetl jsem v Lumíru, žes chodil dva roky I read in Lumir journal that you attended a na reálku v Písku. I já jsem tam chvíli

secondary school in the town of Písek for

studoval, jsme tedy spolužáci.

two years. I studied there for a while, too, so we are classmates then.

Rád bych se Ti něčím pochlubil. Hrajeme

I'd like to blow my own trumpet a little

teď s mou společností na Poděbradsku.

here. We are currently playing near the town of Poděbrady.

Byl zde velký nedostatek pracovních sil

They were facing some difficulties with

pro sklizeň cukrovky a pro celou řepnou

local women's clothing. To put a long story

kampaň.

short, many of their skirts revealed more than is decent for a lady.

Na radu ředitele cukrovaru v Dymokurech

The mayor Mullock of the town of

pana Hlušiny jsem svou hru Čechové na

Dymokury persuaded me to rewrite my

Řípu mírně přepracoval.

stage play Czechs on Rip so that I could help him spread the etiquette.

Na cedulích to teď píšeme s malým ř.

So now the play reads Check on rip with

Závěrečná píseň, v níž se titul Čechové na

lower case r. The final song where the

řípu! Čechové na řípu! Opakuje ve sboru,

chorus Check on rip! Check on rip! is

strhuje diváky tak mocně, že cukrovar jede several times repeated captivates the naplno jako nikdy.

audience so much that the ladies are even shamefully returning to wearing crinolines!

A do práce se díky mému divadlu přihlásilo Moreover, thanks to the play, there has dokonce pět Němců, dva Cikáni a zkusmo i been a new dressmaker's shop opened jeden Žid.

recently. It employs five Germans, two Gypsies and even a Jew has a one-month trial.

Tvůj Jára Cimrman

Love, Jára Cimrman

Herecké desatero

Actor's Decalogue 23

Dr. Zdeněk Svěrák:

Dr. Zdeněk Svěrák

Milí přátelé,

Dear friends,

seznámili jsme se s několika zvláštnostmi

we have presented you several

Cimrmanovy kočující herecké společnosti. eccentricities of Cimrman's travelling Osobitých rysů však bylo víc.

troupe. The number of typical features was, however, higher.

Ansámbl například proslul nezvykle

For instance, his ensemble was famous for

rychlými přesuny. V době, kdy jízdní kolo

unusually fast transfers. In times when the

bylo v západní Evropě přepychem horních bicycle was a luxury of The Upper Ten in deseti tisíc, u nás aparátem podivínů a v

Western Europe, an apparatus used by

carském Rusku pouze předmětem

oddities in our country and in Russia only a

vášnivých debat v anarchistických

subject of passionate debates in anarchistic

kroužcích, používal Cimrmanův umělecký clubs, Cimrman's troupe was using bicycles soubor bicyků zcela běžně.

quite frequently.

V rychlosti, s jakou herci opouštěli

The speed with which the actors were

jednotlivé štace, byl tento kolektiv

leaving their gigs was matchless.

nedostižný. Pozoruhodným fenoménem souboru byl

A remarkable phenomenon of the troupe

jeho protagonista, všestranný Ota Plk.

was an all-rounder Otto Blab. He belonged

Patřil k tomu typu herců, kteří své role

to this certain kind of actors who plunged

příliš silně prožívají.

too deeply into their characters.

Otu Plka každá postava zcela pohltila.

Otto Blab was entirely devoured by each of

Zatímco ostatní herci z úlohy prostě

his parts. While other actors merely stepped

vystoupili tím, že se po představení odlíčili, out of their characters by unmasking Ota Plk zůstával ve svých rolích ještě

themselves, Otto Blab remained in his parts

dlouho po spadnutí opony.

long after the curtain had dropped.

Tento herec vlastně vůbec nežil svůj život. As a matter of fact, this actor did not live Doslova bydlel v charakteru, který toho

his own life at all. He virtually dwelled

dne představoval, než mu nová úloha

inside his character which he was meant to

dovolila přestěhovat se do postavy jiné.

be playing that day, before another part allowed him to move on.

Diváci tomuto absolutnímu herectví

He was applauded by the audience for his

aplaudovali, ale provoz divadla tím často

total deployment, but running of the troupe

trpěl. Například v Chocni se po představení was often disrupted by it. For instance, in 24

Gogolova Revizora Plk na několik dní

the town of Choceň after playing Gogol's

ztratil a překvapení kolegové se s ním

Inspector, Plk went missing for several

setkali až ve vlaku, když jim cestou do

days and his astonished colleagues finally

České Třebové kontroloval jízdenky.

encountered him on the train when he made to check their tickets.

Ota Plk byl s úspěchem obsazován i do

Otto Blab succesfully played even women

dámských rolí. Jeho výkon v Maryše byl

parts. His performance in Macbeth was so

tak strhující, že plakalo nejen obecenstvo,

breathtaking that he had not only the

ale i herci.

audience, but also his co-actors weeping.

Představení se jednou muselo dokonce na

Moreover, the play had to be once

několik minut přerušit, protože plakal i

interrupted for several minutes because

otrlý nápověda Standa Křeček.

even the cynical prompter Stanley Hamster was crying.

Ovšem opravdovost, s jakou Plk

However, Blab's outstanding earnestness he

nešťastnou Maryšu podal, měla za

endowed his poor LadyMacbeth with had

následek, že s ním po představení nikdo

such an effect that after the play nobody

nechtěl jít na kávu.

wanted to have a drink with him.

Všichni si oddechli, když Maryša zmizela z Everybody fetched a sigh of relief when repertoáru. Ota Plk se přestěhoval do

Macbeth disappeared from the repertoire.

Švandy Dudáka a tím přestal být svému

Otto Blab moved into Truffaldino and thus

okolí nebezpečný. Kromě toho skončily i

he ceased to be dangerous. Apart from this,

jeho periodicky se opakující měsíční dny

even his every-month periodically repeated

nervozity a hysterie.

days of jumpiness and hysteria stopped.

Zajímavým způsobem uváděl Cimrman svá Cimrman's plays were introduced in an představení. Herci si vždycky před

intriguing way. Before the play started, the

začátkem stoupli za zavřenou oponu a na

actors went and stood behind the closed

nějakou známou melodii zazpívali různé

curtain and following a well-known tune

důležité informace: kdo hru napsal, jak

sang various important pieces of

příběh dopadne, kde a kdy se příště

information: who wrote the play, the way

odehraje a podobně.

the story ends, where and when it would be played next time and such.

Dalším charakteristickým znakem

Another significant feature of Cimrman's

Cimrmanovy družiny byl značný počet

troupe was a high number of non-talented

netalentovaných herců. Této tradici

actors. This tradition is kept even by us. 25

zůstáváme věrní i my. Zkušení herci chudou společnost Lipany

The experienced actors frequently left the

často opouštěli a bylo nutno hledat rychlou poor Lipany troupe and it was essential to náhradu. Pro tyto neškolené začátečníky

search for a quick replacement. With these

Cimrman sestavil jakési základní herecké

untrained beginners in mind, Cimrman

desatero:

compiled a certain basic actor's decalogue:

1. Pamatuj, že na jevišti se většinou

1. Remember that your name on stage is in

jmenuješ jinak než v životě. Je dobré znát i most cases different from your real one. It jména ostatních.

is handy to know other people's names, too.

2. Citová hnutí vyjadřuj raději zády k

2. You'd better act out the emotional

publiku. Jak smích, tak pláč uděláš nejlépe affections with your back towards the škubáním ramen.

audience. Both laughter and weep are expressed best by jerking your shoulders.

3. Za předměty házené na jeviště neděkuj.

3. Do not thank for the objects thrown on the stage.

4. Po nápovědě neopakuj všechno. Některé 4. Do not repeat all the words the prompter věty patří kolegům.

says. Some of them are meant for your colleagues.

5. Na záchod jdi před představením, ať

5. Go to the loo before the play starts so

potom při hře necouráš.

that you don't traipse there during the performance.

6. Hraješ-li čerta, uvědom si před

6. When playing a devil, realise that you

usednutím, že máš ocas.

have a tail before you sit down.

7. Při potlesku na otevřené scéně se

7. If an applause on the open stage occurs,

neukláněj. Patří patrně někomu jinému.

do not bow. It is probably meant for somebody else.

8. Pamatuj, že některé dveře jsou jen

8. Remember that some doors are only

namalované.

fake.

9. Při hostině na jevišti nejez. Vše je

9. When there is a feast on the stage, do not

gumové.

eat. Everything is made of rubber.

10. Při závěrečné děkovačce se ukloň tak

10. During the final applause make a deep

hluboko, aby nebylo vidět, že jsi to ty, kdo bow so that nobody sees that it is you who volá “bravo”.

is calling out „Bravo“.

A nyní si, milí přátelé, na křídlech

And now, dear friends, let us be taken away

26

Cimrmanovy hry přeneseme v místě i v

in time and place on the wings of

čase: na prkna kočující herecké

Cimrman's stage play: to the boards of the

společnosti, která někdy kolem roku 1910

travelling troupe guesting in an anonymous

hostuje v jednom nejmenovaném českém

Czech town around 1910.

městě. (Za zavřenou oponou se na melodii písně

(Behind the closed curtain a man choir

“Čechy krásné, Čechy mé” ozve zpěv

sings following the tune of “Čechy krásné,

mužského sboru.)

Čechy mé”.)

Tuhle hru, co hrajem vám

Our new play you will sit through

napsal Jára Cimrman

Cimrman wrote just for you

Dílo je to zábavné

don't regret the money spent

a dobře to dopadne

it does have a happy-end

Řekněte všem sousedům

Spread the word in neighbourhood

že je vstupné pár korun

that the ticket price is good

a že tuhle novotu

and this new piece – by the way -

hrajem taky v sobotu

we also play on Saturday

a v neděli

and Sunday too

Část B /Předehra/

Part B /Prelude/

Výstup 1 (Principál, Vypich, Vlasta,

Scene 1 (Director, Prickle, Bobbie,

Vogeltanz)

Vogeltanz)

PRINCIPÁL (volá za zavřenou oponou): DIRECTOR (calling from behind the closed Roberte, otevři oponu. Na scénu! Všichni curtain): na scénu!

Robert, pull the curtain! Everybody on the stage!

(Opona se otevře. Na jeviště postupně

(The curtain is pulled open. The actors of the

vejdou Vypich, Vlasta a Vogeltanz, herci

travelling troupe – Prickle, Bobbie and

kočovné společnosti. Označujeme je již

Vogeltanz- appear, one by one, on the stage.

jmény postav, které budou hrát v

We mention them by the names of the parts

dramatu VLASTA. Na scéně už čeká

they are to play in the stage play Bobbie.

principál v invalidním vozíku opatřeném Awaiting them in his wheelchair equipped by držákem-pultíkem na divadelní text.

a rack holding the script, their director is

Herci jsou už v kostýmech, byť neúplných already on the stage. The actors are in their 27

či rozepnutých. Scéna – selská vesnice –

costumes, albeit partial or undone.

je již postavena, chybí jen postel s

The scene – rural village – is already

peřinami.)

assembled, only a bed with duvets is missing)

PRINCIPÁL: Tak přátelé, večer hrajeme. DIRECTOR: My friends, we do play tonight. Představení je zachráněno.

The performance is saved.

VŠICHNI: No, sláva! Díky bohu!

ALL: Hooray! Thank God!

PRINCIPÁL: A koho byste řekli, že jsem DIRECTOR: And who do you think I've sehnal na záskok?

found to stand in?

VYPICH: Na matku nevím, ale na

PRICKLE: I don't know about the Mother,

Vavrocha bych tipoval Krámskýho z

but for Lawrence I'd guess Krámský from the

Příbrami.

town of Příbram.

PRINCIPÁL: Vejš.

DIRECTOR: Bigga.

VOGELTANZ: Macháčka od

VOGELTANZ: Macháček from the Sedláček

Sedláčkovejch?

troupe?

PRINCIPÁL: Vejš. Mnohem vejš!

DIRECTOR: Bigga. Much bigga!

VYPICH: Na takovou glancroli by si

PRICKLE: Who might dare such a classy

moh troufnout...

part...

PRINCIPÁL: Stejně byste to neuhádli.

DIRECTOR: You would never guess anyway.

Přijede sám Karel Infeld Prácheňský!

Carl Infeld Kinsky himself is coming!

VŠICHNI: Ne! To není možný! No tohle! ALL: Impossible! It can't be! God gracious! Vážně?

Like seriously?

PRINCIPÁL: Přijede teď ve dvě vlakem DIRECTOR: He's coming now by the twoz Plzně.

o'clock train from Pilsen.

VYPICH: Tak já si zahraju se samotným PRICKLE: So I'll be playing with Kinsky Prácheňským.

himself.

VOGELTANZ: A kolik za to chce?

VOGELTANZ: And how much did he ask for?

PRINCIPÁL: To víte, zadarmo to

DIRECTOR: Well, it will hardly be for free.

nebude. Každej mu dáme polovinu ze

We will all give him a half of our share. That

svýho dílu. To by mu mělo stačit.

should be enough.

VLASTA: Tak hrajem jen za polovic?

BOBBIE: So we are playing just for a halfwage?

PRINCIPÁL: Za polovic. Ale když

DIRECTOR: Yes, for a half-wage. But if you

vezmete v úvahu, že bude vyprodáno, tak take into consideration that it will be sold out,

28

je ta polovička docela slušnej peníz.

then it isn't such a bad gain.

VYPICH: To je pravda. A potom: vždyť

PRICKLE: That's true. After all, we are

si zahrajeme se samotným Prácheňským. playing with Kinsky himself. One would be S ním by člověk rád hrál možná i

even glad to play with him for nothing at all.

zadarmo. PRINCIPÁL: Jistě. Taky ta dálka.

DIRECTOR: Sure thing. And take the

Harcuje se z Plzně až sem a zase zpátky, journey, too. Bumping along all the way from to taky něco stojí.

Pilsen and back, that isn't for free, either.

VLASTA: To je pravda.

BOBBIE: That's true.

PRINCIPÁL: A na to právě praskne

DIRECTOR: And that's what the second half

druhá půlka těch vašich honorářů.

of your wages is going to pay.

VYPICH: To znamená, že...

PRICKLE: It means that...

PRINCIPÁL: Ano, Karle, to znamená, že DIRECTOR: Yes, Charles, it means that your se ti splní ten tvůj sen hrát s

dream to play with Kinsky for nothing will

Prácheňským zadarmo.

come true.

VOGELTANZ: Abych se přiznal, já bych VOGELTANZ: To speak my mind, I'd rather radši hrál s někým jiným za peníze.

play with somebody else for money.

PRINCIPÁL: Víte, jak je pro nás to

DIRECTOR: D'you realise how existentially

představení existenčně důležitý? Já přece important that performance is for us? I can't nemůžu říct, pane starosto, ta premiéra k possibly say: Lord Mayor, that premiere for vašim narozeninám se ruší, protože nám

your birthday is cancelled because the Bittner

utekli herci Bittner a Bittnerová? Ale to

couple bunked off. But I'll never forget that.

jim nezapomenu. To je zrada. To je kudla That's nothing short of a treason. They do zad.

stabbed me in the back.

VYPICH: V tom má prsty hlavně

PRICKLE: It was that Bittner woman having

Bittnerka. Bittner by sám neodešel.

her fingers in the pie. Bittner wouldn't leave by himself.

VLASTA: A máme někoho za

BOBBIE: And do we have a stand-in for her?

Bittnerovou? PRINCIPÁL: Nemáme, ale to nevadí.

DIRECTOR: No, we don't, but no matter.

Budete dělat, jako že tam je, i když tam

We'll act as if she were there even if she's not.

nebude. VYPICH: Moment, Jeníku, panímáma

PRICKLE: Hang on, Johnny, the gammer

přece mluví, píše závěť!

surely talks, she writes the last will!

29

PRINCIPÁL: Mluvit nebude, psát bude.

DIRECTOR: She won't talk, write she will!

VLASTA: To chci vidět.

BOBBIE: I'd like to see her try.

VOGELTANZ: Ale Prácheňský na to má VOGELTANZ: But Kinsky has just a couple jen pár hodin. Naučí se to?

of hours to learn the text. Can he make it?

PRINCIPÁL: Prácheňský? Viděls ho

DIRECTOR: Kinsky? Have you ever seen

někdy hrát?

him perform?

VOGELTANZ: Ne.

VOGELTANZ: No.

PRINCIPÁL: To je machr přátelé! To je

DIRECTOR: He's a dab, my friends. He may

možná největší... Jen vejde na jeviště –

well be the biggest... He just enters the stage

potlesk. Ani nemusí nic říkat.

– ovation. He doesn't need to say a word.

BÁRTA (ze zákulisí): Tudy, Mistře, račte BART (from backstage): This way, Maestro, dál.

if you please.

Výstup 2

Scene 2

(Prácheňský – Vavroch, Bárta a předešlí) (Kinsky – Lawrence, Bart and the previous (Na scénu vejde Mistr v širokém

ones)

uměleckém klobouku se špacírkou v ruce, (Maestro enters the stage sporting a wide za ním Bárta s jeho zavazadlem. Herecká fancy hat and a walking stick in his hand, společnost přivítá vzácného kolegu

followed by Bart carrying his luggage. The

potleskem.)

troupe bids their distinct colleague with applause.)

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Nazdar, kolegáčkové!

KINSKY: Hello, fellas! (he takes off his hat

(smekne klobouk a suverénním krokem

and walks purposefully across the stage to

projde jevištěm až na rampu, odkud

the ramp where he overlooks the “empty”

pohlédne do “prázdného” sálu.) Tady už auditorium.) jsem myslím hrál. Kolik je tu míst?

I think I've already played here. How many seats are there?

PRINCIPÁL: Stodvacet.

DIRECTOR: A hundred and twenty.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Je to prodaný?

KINSKY: Is it sold out?

PRINCIPÁL: Našlapáno, Mistře.

DIRECTOR: Full house, Maestro.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: (Zkusí akustiku, až se

KINSKY: (Tries out the acoustics so loudly

lekneme): Ale té lípy se nevzdám! Je od

we startle): The rain in Spain stays mainly in

našeho rodu odnepaměti! Mň mň mň...

the plain. Ain ain ain...

V prázdném sále to zní dutě, ale až

It doesn't resound so well in an empty hall but

přijdou lidi, ono to bude lepší. Heleďte,

when people come, it'll get better. Look, have

30

všimli jste si, jak si který lidi kam sedaj? y'noticed where certain people sit? Now, here Tak tady vprostředku v první řadě místní in the middle of the first row it's the local honorace, to je jasný.

notables, that's obvious.

Ale tady vlevo (ukáže příslušný prostor v But here on the left (points at the hledišti), to je zajímavý, tady seděj

corresponding space in the auditorium), and

vždycky blbci. Uvidíte večer. Já nevím,

that's interesting all right, here's where the

proč se stahujou zrovna do těchhle míst.

nitwits always sit. You'll see yourselves in the evening. Dunno why they keep clustering here.

Tak co to dáváme? Říkal mi tady

So what are we playing? This fella here (he

kolegáček (ukáže na Bártu), že nějakou

points at Bart) is telling me it's some novelty.

novotu. PRINCIPÁL: Je to moje vlastní hra,

DIRECTOR: It is my own play, Maestro.

Mistře. PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Ano? Tak to je myslím KINSKY: Is that so? Well, if I may say so, it's velká, velká, velká chyba. Proč psát nový a great, great, great mistake. Why writing hry, když lidi chtějí starý a osvědčený?

new plays when the folk want the old and

Co byste říkali Maryše? Jed v kafi. To je well-tried ones? How about Macbeth? Knock drámo.

off the king. What a cliffhanger.

PRINCIPÁL (pokyne Bártovi a ten

DIRECTOR (beckons to Bart and he places

přistaví Mistrovi doprostřed scény židli): Maestro's chair in the middle of the stage). Na Maryšu je nás málo, Mistře.

There are not enough of us for Macbeth, Maestro.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Nebo Lucerna. To se

KINSKY: Or Midsummer Night's Dream.

taky líbí. Ovšem kněžna nesmí bejt

That one's quite popular too. Mind you,

těžká. Já jsem jednou přenášel přes

Titania shouldn't be too porky. Once I had to

močál Musilovou-Vébrovou... Znáte

carry Smith-Parker through the fairy forest...

Musilovou-Vébrovou? Ona je jak dvě:

Do you know Smith-Parker? She's like the

Musilová-Vébrová!

two of them: Smith and Parker!

PRINCIPÁL: Mistře, vy jste ale

DIRECTOR: Maestro, but you agreed to

souhlasil, že zaskočíte v té naší novince.

stand in in our novelty.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Jistě, jistě, já vím. Ale

KINSKY: Sure thing, I know. But listen,

poslyšte, my teď dáváme u Budila

we're currently playing this Russian,

jednoho Ostrovského. To je vám

Ostrovsky, very interesting, this is. For 31

zajímavý. Už ta jména: Pankratěvna

instance, the names: Pancrea Cracknaya. Or

Praskovna. Nebo Lazar Jelizarovič

Lazarus Yelizarowich Podkhalyuzin. One has

Podchaljuzin. To má jeden co dělat, aby

a hard time just remembering what he's

si zapamatoval, jenom jak se jmenuje.

called.

(Herci nad těžkými jmény účastně kroutí

(The actors shake their heads

hlavami.)

sympathetically.)

PRINCIPÁL (k Bártovi): Jozífku,

DIRECTOR (to Bart): Joe, have you

seznámil jsi Mistra zhruba s dějem?

introduced Maestro to the plot?

BÁRTA: Ano.

BART: I have.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Nebo Sysoj Psojič

KINSKY: Or Suslickoy Caninycz

Rispoloženskij!

Rizpolozhensky.

(Celá herecká společnost kromě

(The whole travelling troupe except for the

principála opět vděčně sdílí s Mistrem

director shares again Maestro's amazement

podiv nad ruskými jmény.)

at the peculiar Russian names.)

PRINCIPÁL: Mistře, abyste se seznámil DIRECTOR: Maestro, now for the s figurama...

characters...

VLASTA (opožděně žasne): Psojič!

BOBBIE (behind the times, wondering): Caninycz!

PRINCIPÁL (ho zpraží): Drž hubu! (k

DIRECTOR (dresses him down): Shut up! (to

Prácheňskému) Tak předně Vavroch.

Kinsky) Firstly, there's Lawrence.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Vavrocha dělá kdo?

KINSKY: Who plays Lawrence?

PRINCIPÁL: Vavroch jste vy.

DIRECTOR: That's you.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: No jistě. Vavroch. Ano. KINSKY: Sure enough. Lawrence. Yes. PRINCIPÁL: Já myslím, že že je to váš

DIRECTOR: I think it's your province, isn't

obor, ne? Ten charakter. Tohle je vaše

it? That character. This is your daughter, well,

dcera, ovšem nevlastní...

step-daughter...

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Aha. Ko napovídá?

KINSKY: I see. Who is the prompter?

PRINCIPÁL: Napovídám já. Tohle je

DIRECTOR: I am. This is Dr Prickle, a

doktor Vypich, rodinný přítel, a tady

family friend, and Joe here plays the part of

Jozífek hraje Bártu, to je podruh na

Bart, who is a groom on your farm. Well, it

vašem statku. Tedy, on ten statek vlastně isn't really your farm yet... ještě není váš... PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Kde budete?

KINSKY: Where are you going to be?

PRINCIPÁL: Budu napovídat z této

DIRECTOR: I'll be prompting from this side.

32

strany. (Ukáže do zákulisí.) A tohle je

(He points to the backstage) And this is the

důstojník (ukáže na Vogeltanze), který

officer (he points at Vogeltanz), who

soupeří tady s Bártou o Vlastu.

competes with Bart for Bobbie.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: A uslyším vás? Zkuste

KINSKY: And will I hear you? Try to prompt

mi něco hodit.

something for me.

PRINCIPÁL (odjede na vozíku do

DIRECTOR (steers his wheelchair to the

zákulisí a napovídá): V Českých

backstge and prompts): Budweis is where

Budějovicích by chtěl žít každý.

everyone would like to live.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Cože?

KINSKY: What?

PRINCIPÁL (přidá na hlase, takže ho i

DIRECTOR (raises his voice, so the

publikum zřetelně slyší): V Českých

audience can clearly hear him): Budweis is

Budějovicích by chtěl žít každý.

where everyone would like to live.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: To jsem blázen,

KINSKY: Blimey, man... Try the other side.

člověče... Zkuste to z druhé strany. PRINCIPÁL (přejede přes jeviště a

DIRECTOR (steers across the stage and

opakuje z druhé strany): V Českých

repeats from the other side): Budweis is

Budějovicích by chtěl žít každý

where everyone would like to live.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Že v Českých

KINSKY: You said that Budweis is where

Budějovicích by chtěl žít každý?

everyone would like to live?

(Všichni s úlevou Mistra chválí, jak

(With relief, everybody praises Maestro for

přesně to řekl.)

saying it so right.)

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Co je to za blbost? Byl KINSKY: What kind of rubbish is that? Have jste někdy v Budějovicích?

you ever been to Budweis?

PRINCIPÁL: To je replika, Mistře.

DIRECTOR: That's only a line, Maestro. I

Namátkou jsem vybral...

picked one at random.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: To já slyšel, už když

KINSKY: That I heard even from over there

jste byl támhle, ale nechtělo se mi věřit,

but I couldn't believe you saying such a goof.

že byste říkal takovej nesmysl. Panstvo,

Dear folks, I have only the worst memories of

na Budějovice já mám ty nejhorší

Budweis. Is there gonna be dinner

vzpomínky. Bude potom večeře?

afterwards?

VYPICH: Bude. Po představení, Mistře,

PRICKLE: There is. After the play, there is

bude slavnostní večeře. Starosta města to going to be a fancy dinner, Maestro. The pořádá.

mayor is giving it.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Tak mi pak

KINSKY: So remind me then to tell you

33

připomeňte, abych vám vyprávěl o

about Budweis. Well, I hear it virtually the

Budějovicích. No, já to slyším z obou

same from both sides, so prompt from the

stran prakticky stejně, čili vy mi to

side you were the first time, and this is gonna

házejte z tý strany, jak jste byl prve, a

be my floor. (Defines space at the side set

tohle bude můj plac. (Vymezuje prostor u piece) Nobody get in here. By the way, when boční kulisy) Sem mi nikdo nelezte.

are the ladies coming?

Mimochodem, kdy přijdou dámy? VYPICH: Které dámy myslíte?

PRICKLE: Which ladies do you mean?

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Myslím dámskou část

KINSKY: I mean the women part of the

ansámblu.

ensemble.

PRINCIPÁL: Tak v té hře jsou jen dvě

DIRECTOR: In the play there are only two

dámské role. Panímámu bohužel

women parts. Unfortunately, we don't have

nemáme, ale bez ní se hra obejde. A vaši the gammer, but the play will work even nevlastní dceru, jak jsem říkal, hraje tady without her. And your stepdaughter, as I said, Čeněk.

is played by Vincent here.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ (si Vlastu prohlédne):

KINSKY (looks closely at Bobbie): I see.

Aha. No, koneckonců, proč ne. Když si

Well, after all, why not. If he shaves away

oholí ten knír, proč ne.

that moustache, why not.

VLASTA. V žádným případě se neholím. BOBBIE: Not shaving, no way. Because of Kvůli jedný pitomý roli... Notabene když one stupid part... On top of that, I'm quitting u divadla končím.

theatre.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Vy končíte s divadlem, KINSKY: You are quitting theatre, young mladý muži? A proč?

man? Why is that?

PRINCIPÁL: To je tak. Čeněk s námi

DIRECTOR: Well, the thing is that Vincent

hraje pátým rokem a celou tu dobu si

has been playing with us for nearly five years

lámeme hlavu, proč on nemá na jevišti v and all this time we've been racking our žádné roli úspěch. A teprve před týdnem

brains why he's such a failure in each part.

jsme na to konečně kápli: Čeněk nemá

And only last week we finally puzzled it out:

talent.

Vincent isn't talented.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Jděte! To se mi nechce KINSKY: Come on! I can hardly believe that. věřit. Trochu hereckého talentu má přece Everyone has a bit of acting talent. Come každý. Pojďte, chlapče, zkusíme něco.

here, lad, we'll try something. I can tell a

Talent já poznám po dvou třech slovech. talent after two or three words. Say, for Řekněte třeba: (zvolá vlevo) Tak kampak, example: (calls out to the left) Where are we 34

Kuzmo Kuzmiči?

off to, Kuzma Kuzmitch?

VLASTA (zvolá úplně stejně, jenže

BOBBIE (calls out in completely the same

opačným směrem): Tak kampak, Kuzmo

way but to the other side): Where are we off

Kuzmiči?

to, Kuzma Kuzmitch?

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Hm. Nemá talent. A

KINSKY: Uh-huh. He is not talented. And

kromě toho – Kuzma je tamhle. (Ukáže

besides that – Kuzma is over there. (He

vlevo.) A dneska s námi ještě musí hrát?

points to the left.) And does he still have to play with us tonight?

PRINCIPÁL: Bohužel.

DIRECTOR: I'm afraid so.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: No, co se dá dělat. Ale KINSKY: Well, it can't be helped. But listen poslyšte, ten konec, ten se vám poved. To here, the end, you did a hell of a job here. I už umím zpaměti: Tak končí naše

already know it by heart: So our comedy has

komedie, zlo prohrává a dobro žije...

come to a close, the evil fell and the good arose...

PRINCIPÁL: To jsem rád, že se vám to

DIRECTOR: I'm glad you like the finale...

finále líbí... PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Já mám rád verše. Ona KINSKY: I'm keen on verses. Mostly it is a je to většinou pitomost, ale jak se to dá

piffle but when you put it into rhymes, it does

do veršů, tak to úplně jinak vyzní.

sound completely different.

PRINCIPÁL: Mistře, když dovolíte,

DIRECTOR: Meastro, if you please, we

vzali bychom tu zkouštičku od vašeho

would start this little rehearsal from your first

nástupu. Přátelé, výstup čtvrtý: Vavroch a scene on stage. Scene four, everybody: předešlí!

Lawrence and the previous ones!

(Každý z herců zaujme své místo.

(Each of the actors takes up their place.

Prácheňský si stoupne za svou židli.

Kinsky goes to stand behind his chair. A

Pauza.)

pause.)

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Kdo začíná?

KINSKY: Who starts?

VYPICH: Vy, Mistře.

PRICKLE: You do, Maestro.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: To vím, ale

KINSKY: I know but momentarilly I don't

momentálně nevím, jak.

know how.

PRINCIPÁL: Vidím před vraty

DIRECTOR: I see the doctor's sledge in front

doktorský sáně.

of the gate.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Vidím před vraty

KINSKY: I see the doctor's sledge in front of

doktorský sáně... (jde se podívat

the gate... (he goes to the director to have a

35

pricipálovi do textu)... a říkám si: že on

look into the script) … and I wonder if the

je u nás doktor! A taky jo!

doctor has come! And come he has!

PRINCIPÁL: Krásně, Mistře, krásně.

DIRECTOR: Impressive, Maestro,

Kam se hrabe Bittner, to se nedá srovnat. impressive. Even Bittner can't compare, he's no match for you. PRÁCHEŇSKÝ (deklamuje v domnění,

KINSKY (declaims under the impression

že mu principál napovídá): Kam se hrabe that the director prompted the last line): Even Bittner, to nedá srovnat.

Bittner can't compare, he's no match for you.

PRINCIPÁL: Ne, prosím vás, to tam

DIRECTOR: No no, that's no line please, I'm

nepatří, to já jen chválím váš přednes.

just complimenting your diction.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Heleďte se, taková

KINSKY: Now look, here's a principle:

zásada: Neříkejte mi nic, co nepatří do

Never say anything that doesn't fall into the

role. Protože já mám děsnýho

role. Because I have a terrific memory and I

pamatováka. A já to z tý hlavy nedostanu. won't get it out this head of mine. What's Co je tam dál? (Nahlédne do textu.) Tak

next? (Looks into the script) Tell me, doc,

co, doktore, jak se daří nebožce? (Zarazí how's the late gammer? (He recoils.) Listen, se.) Poslechněte, to je nějaká renonc, ne? that's some kind of blunder, innit? How's the Jak se daří nebožce? Jak se jí může dařit, late gammer? How can she be, she's pushing je tuhá, ne?

the daisies, isn't she?

PRINCIPÁL: Tím jsem chtěl vyjádřit, že DIRECTOR: By this I meant to express that Vavroch si přeje...

Lawrence wishes...

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Jakej Vavroch zase?

KINSKY: Lawrence who now? You've put

Člověče, vy tam máte figur jako na

there enough characters for a Nativity play,

orloji.

fella.

BÁRTA. Vavrocha hrajete vy, Mistře.

BART: Lawrence is your part, Maestro.

PRINCIPÁL: Vy jako Vavroch si přejete, DIRECTOR: You as Lawrence wish the aby panímáma už zemřela, a tak už o ní

gammer already died and so you speak of her

mluvíte jako o nebožce. A taky máte

as late. And you've had a couple, too. You

něco upito. Byl jste v hospodě s Olgou.

were in a pub with Olga.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Olgu hraje taky chlap? KINSKY: Is Olga played by a bloke, too? BÁRTA: Ne, ta se tam vůbec

BART: No, she doesn't occur in the play at

nevyskytuje v té hře.

all.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Žádná Olga tam není?

KINSKY: There is no Olga in it? And who

A s kým teda budu v tý hospodě?

am I in the pub with?

36

VŠICHNI: S Olgou.

EVERYBODY: With Olga.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Aha. Poslyšte,

KINSKY: I see. Listen, fellas, we all know a

kolegáčkové, známe přece společně

good deal of time-proven plays. How about

celou řadu osvědčených kusů. Co třeba

playing for instance The Jew of Malta

kdybychom večer sehráli třeba Slepého

tonight? Or The Spanish Tragedy? And our

mládence? Nebo Šumařovo dítě. A bylo

troubles would be over. What say you?

by po starostech. Co říkáte? PRINCIPÁL: Mistře, Šumařovo dítě i

DIRECTOR: Maestro, we would surely

Slepého mládence bychom jistě svedli,

manage The Jew of Malta or The Spanish

ale zdejšímu starostovi byla slíbena

Tragedy, but we promised the local mayor a

premiéra nové české hry. Tu hru jsem mu premiere of a new Czech play. I dedicated the dedikoval a on si toho velice považuje.

play to him and he appreciates it very much.

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: No, jak myslíte...

KINSKY: Well, as you wish... (He sighes and

(Vzdychne a nahlédne principálovi přes

glances into the script over the director's

rameno do textu.) Co ty tu děláš, Bárto?

shoulder) What's your business here, Bart?

Víš dobře, že nesnáším čeládku ve

You know perfectly well that I can't stand the

světnici. Zuj mi boty, když už jsi tady.

domestics in the house-place. Take off my shoes as long as you're here.

PRINCIPÁL: Chcete si zkusit to

DIRECTOR: Would you like to try the

zouvání, Mistře?

taking-off, Meastro?

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: To je zbytečný. - Víte,

KINSKY: There's no need. - You know what

co bude myslím vůbec nejlepší,

would be the best thing to do, fellas? If you

kolegáčkové? Když mi ukážete, kde

show me where I'm staying and I'll take the

bydlím, já si s tou úlohou vlezu do

script to bed, go over it a couple of times and

postele, párkrát si ji přelousknu a ono to

it'll work somehow.

půjde. PRINCIPÁL: Dobře. A myslíte, že ani

DIRECTOR: All right, then. But shouldn't we

pohybově... to aranžmá si neprojdeme?

better... try out the blocking...the arrangement?

PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Jakýpak aranžmá,

KINSKY: Beg you pardon, what

prosím vás? Já budu stát tady. (Zabodne

arrangement? I'll be standing only here. (Jabs

ukazovák do prostoru, který si pro sebe

his finger into the space he previously

vymezil.) Když dělám takovou kládu ze

defined.) With me pinch-hitting as a headliner

štégrajfu, nemůžete po mně chtít nějaký

practically off-hand, you can't seriously make 37

riskantní toulky po jevišti... Jo, když

me go for some risky wandering about the

jsem si jistej, to já si klidně vyšlápnu až

stage... A different thing is when I feel safe,

sem. (Přejde na forbínu.) Ale dneska s

then I dare to walk even here. (He moves to

tím nepočítejte.

the forestage) But definitely not today.

PRINCIPÁL: Jistě. A pro vaše uklidnění, DIRECTOR: Of course. And to make you Mistře: když bude nejhůř, my

feel more at ease, Maestro: if the worst

praktikujeme takový osvědčený trik –

should come, we apply a certain useful trick –

roli zvědavého invalidy. V případě, že se a part of the curious invalid. In case the play drama na scéně nedejbože rozklíží, víte,

starts to, God forbid!, fall into pieces, I'll

kdyby nám to úplně vykolejilo, já sem

come here and put it back on track. But only

vjedu a nasadím to zpátky na koleje. Ale in the uttermost end of need. to jen skutečně v nejkrajnějším případě. PRÁCHEŇSKÝ: Jo, jo. (Zamyšleně

KINSKY: Yeah, yeah. (He is looking into the

hledí z rampy do “prázdného” sálu.)

„empty“ auditorium, lost in thoughts.) I do

Hlavně aby večer seděli blbci jenom tady hope the nitwits sit tonight only here on the vlevo... Část C

left... Part C

Vlasta (Vesnický obrázek o jednom dějství) Bobbie (One-act country play) Osoby:

Cast:

Vlasta

Bobbie

Vavroch, její otčím

Lawrence, her step-father

Bárta, podruh

Bart, groom

Vypich, rodinný lékař

Prickle, family practitioner

Vogeltanz, šikovatel

Vogeltanz, sergeant

Principál, invalida

Director, the disabled

(Před oponou.)

(In front of the curtain)

VYPICH: Vážený pane starosto, páni

PRICKLE: Dear mayor, councillors,

radní, velevážené publikum! Naše

dearest audience! Our theatre troupe has

divadelní společnost má tu čest hostovati

been given a great honour to guest in your

ve vašem městě právě v den, kdy zde

town on the very same day when the mayor

přítomný pan starosta slaví životní

here celebrates his jubilee.

jubileum. Kus, který dnes uvidíte, nechť je kyticí

Let the piece you are about to see tonight 38

podanou českými herci českému starostovi be a bouquet given by the Czech actors to a českého města. A v této kytici, uvité z

Czech mayor of a Czech town. And in this

prostého lučního kvítí... českého, skví se

bouquet made from common meadow

dnes květ nejvzácnější: jako host tohoto

flowers... Czech flowers... the most

slavnostního večera vystoupí přední člen

precious blossom shines: As a guest of this

slavné divadelní společnosti Vendelína

festive evening a prominent member of the

Budila z Plzně. Není to nikdo menší než

famous theatre company in Pilsen will

sám Karel Infeld Prácheňský!

appear on stage. It is none other than Carl Infeld Kinsky himself!

(Z magnetofonu zazní potlesk. Vavroch

(We can hear an applause from a tape-

vyjde před oponu, ukloní se a přijme kytici recorder. Lawrence comes before the umělých květin, kterou mu podá Vypich, a

curtain, makes a bow and takes a bouquet

společně odejdou.)

of plastic flowers from Prickle. They leave together.)

Výstup 1.

Scene 1

(Vlasta a Bárta)

(Bobbie and Bart)

(Světnice bohatého statku. Dominantou

(A house-place of a wealthy farmstead. A

selského nábytku je postel se dvěma řádně

bed with two properly stuffed stripy duvets

nacpanými pruhovanými peřinami a

and pillows is a prominent piece of the

polštáři. Vlasta žehlí.)

rustical furniture. Bobbie is ironing.)

VLASTA (zpívá ráčkujíc)

BOBBIE (is singing. She pronounces „r“

Žehlení, žehlení

as „w“):

konce tomu není

Iwoning, iwoning,

Vše je třeba nakropiti

oh, such a bowing thing,

pak se prádlo pěkně svítí

a dwop of watew, teeny-tiny

Žehlení, žehlení...

makes the linen white and shiny Iwoning, iwoning...

BÁRTA (vejde): Dobré jitro, Vlasto!

BART (enters): Good morning, Bobbie!

VLASTA: Dobré jitro, podruhu Bárto!

BOBBIE: Good morning, Bawt the Gwoom!

BÁRTA: Tak to má být. Písničkou vítáš

BART: Way to go. Welcoming the new day

nový den jako pěnice.

like a songbird.

VLASTA: Dnes nezpívám z radosti,

BOBBIE: I'm not singing out of joy, Bawt 39

podruhu Bárto. Zpívám, abych zahnala

the Gwoom. I'm singing to dwive away

chmury.

despaiw.

BÁRTA: Já vím, otčím Vavroch, viď. Zase BART: I know, it's your stepfather se k tobě dobýval?

Lawrence, isn't it? Was he forcing his way to you again?

VLASTA: Kdyby jen to.

BOBBIE: That's not the wowst thing.

BÁRTA: Cože?

BART: What?

VLASTA: Nedbale jsem zastrčila závoru a BOBBIE: I didn't bolt the doow pwopewly on... (Skryje tvář do kapesníku, který právě and he... (Hides her face into the vyžehlila.)

handkerchief she has just ironed.)

BÁRTA: Probůh! On tě...?

BART: Dear me! Did he..?

VLASTA: Ne, ubránila jsem se.

BOBBIE: No, I fought him off.

BÁRTA: Tomu nevěřím. Jak by ses mohla

BART: I don't believe that. How could you

takovému zuřivci ubránit?

fight off such a raving lunatic?

VLASTA: Zvláštní věc. Sápal se po mně

BOBBIE: A funny thing. He was gwoping

jako býk, a když jsem s poctivostí už už

wildly aftew me and just as I stawted to say

loučila, náhle jako by se v něm něco

goodbye to my chastity, something bwoke

zlomilo, přestal dotírat, otočil se a byl ten

inside him, he stopped abwuptly, tuwned

tam.

awound and he was gone.

BÁRTA: Asi se v něm hnulo svědomí.

BART: Maybe his conscience pricked.

VLASTA: Bojím se, že to nebylo svědomí. BOBBIE: I'm afwaid that it wasn't his Že to bylo něco jiného.

conscience. That it was something else.

BÁRTA: Jak to myslíš?

BART: What do you mean?

VLASTA: Ale nic. To mě jen tak něco

BOBBIE: Nothing weally. Something just

napadlo.

occuwed to me.

BÁRTA: Vidíš, Vlasto, kdybychom byli

BART: There you go, Bobbie. If we were

svoji...

married...

VLASTA: Dals koním?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the howses?

BÁRTA: Dal... nesměl by se tě ani

BART: I have... He couldn't even touch

dotknout.

you.

VLASTA: Dals kravám?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the cows?

BÁRTA: Dal. Ale to je tím, že jsem jen

BART: I have. It's because I'm nothing but

podruh...

a groom...

VLASTA: Dals prasatům?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the pigs?

BÁRTA: ... a ty dcera ze statku.

BART: … and you are a landholder's 40

daughter. VLASTA: Dals?

BOBBIE: Have you?

BÁRTA: Dal! Všem jsem dal! Kozám,

BART: I have! I have tended everything!

slepicím, holubům, psům! A ty to dobře víš The goats, hens, pidgeons, dogs! And you a jenom tak odvádíš řeč. Ale kdyby žil tvůj know it perfectly well and you're just otec, ten by našemu svazku nebránil.

changing the subject. But if your father were alive, he wouldn't stand between us.

VLASTA: Dals kytku na jeho hrob?

BOBBIE: Have you tended his gwave?

BÁRTA: Dal. Mach měl zlaté srdce a měl

BART: I have. Mach had a heart of gold

mě rád.

and he was fond of me.

VLASTA: Bárto, já tě mám taky ráda. Ale

BOBBIE: Bawt, I'm fond of you too, but

jenom jako kamaráda. My se nikdy

only as a fwiend. We can nevew get

nemůžeme vzít.

mawwied.

BÁRTA (přiklekne k posteli a mluví do

BART (kneels down by the bed and talks

peřin): Panímámo, přimluvte se za mě. Vy

into the blankets): Gammer, say a good

jste mi byla vždycky nakloněna. (Přiloží

word for me. You've always favoured me.

ucho k polštáři.)

(He leans closer to the pillow.)

VLASTA: Co říká?

BOBBIE: What's she saying?

BÁRTA: Chce napít.

BART: She wants to drink.

(Vlasta mu podá hrnek, ze kterého předtím (Bobbie passes him a mug she used for kropila prádlo, a Bárta ho zasune do

sprinkling the linens and Bart pushes it

peřin)

into the blankets)

VLASTA: Poslyš, podruhu Bárto, chtěla

BOBBIE: Listen hewe, Bawt the Gwoom,

bych se ti s něčím svěřit. Dnes ráno přinesl I'd like to confide to you. This mowning otčím matce kozí mléko. Že prý ho sám

my stepfather bwought my mothew some

nadojil. Něco mi říkalo, abych matce to

goat milk. He said he had milked it himself.

mléko nedávala. Když odešel, dala jsem ho Something was telling me not to give it to kočce.

hew. When he left, I took the milk to the cat.

BÁRTA: A co? Co Micka?!

BART: And what happened to Kitty?

VLASTA. Zakopala jsem ji pod jabloní.

BOBBIE: I buwied hew undew the apple tree.

BÁRTA: Tak proto! Chtěl jsem jí také dát,

BART: So that is why! I meant to tend her

ale nebyla k nalezení.

too but she was nowhere to be found.

41

VLASTA: Víš, když jsem matce řekla...

BOOBIE: When I told my mothew, you see...

BÁRTA: Volal jsem čičí, čičí, ale Micka

BART: I called pussy pussy, but she didn't

nikde.

come.

VLASTA: Když jsem matce řekla...

BOBBIE: When I told my mothew...

BÁRTA: Říkám si, co to s tou kočkou

BART: I kept telling myself, what's wrong

dneska je, že nejde. Tak volám: Micko?

with the cat today that she's not coming. So

Zase nic. Pes jo, ten tam byl hned. Ale

here's me calling again: Kitty! Nothing

kočka nikde. Kde vona může bejt, povídám again. The dog, he did come all right. But si, a ona byla pod jabloní.

not the cat. Where the heck could she be, I was telling meself, and she was under the apple tree.

VLASTA: Bárto, víš, proč si tě taky

BOBBIE: Do you know why I also can't

nemůžu vzít? Protože jsi tak hloupej. Ale to mawwy you, Bawt? Because you awe so není ten hlavní důvod. Teď prosím tě mlč a bloody dimwitted. But that's not the main poslouchej. Když jsem matce řekla, jaké

weason. Now listen and keep your mouth

mléko jí to Vavroch přinesl, rozhodla se, že shut, will you? When I told my mothew změní svou závěť.

about the milk Lawwence had bwought hew, she decided to change hew last will.

BÁRTA: Ona už, chudera, sepsala poslední BART: She has written her last will yet, vůli?

poor soul?

VLASTA: Ano, donutil ji k tomu. Musela

BOBBIE: Yes, he made hew do it. She had

mu odkázal všechno: statek, polnosti, les,

to leave evewything to him: the homestead,

rybník i cihelnu.

gwounds, fowest, pond and the bwickyawd.

BÁRTA: Cihelny je mi obzvlášť líto. Jaké

BART: I'm especially sorry for the

cihly může pálit takový necita.

brickyard. What kind of brick can such a heartless man bake.

VLASTA: Bože, Bárto, ty jsi tak hloupej,

BOBBIE: Bawt, for goodness sake, you

až je mi tě někdy líto. Dávej pozor: poslala awe so dimwitted that I sometimes feel jsem pro doktora Vypicha, našeho dávného sowwy fow you. Now listen closely: I've rodinného lékaře a přítele. Sepíšeme novou sent for doctow Pwickle, our lifelong závěť a ty budeš svědek, rozumíš?

family pwactitionew and fwiend. We'we going to make a new will and you'we going to be the witness, do you undewstand? 42

BÁRTA: Rozumím.

BART: I do.

VÝSTUP 2

Scene 2

(Vypich a předešlí)

(Prickle and previous ones)

VYPICH (prudce, bez zaklepání vejde, při PRICKLE (comes in abrupty without řeči také ráčkuje): Tam je sněhu! Chtěl

knocking, he also pronounces „r“ as „w“):

jsem jet bryčkou, ale pak jsem přepřáhl do

So much snow out thewe! I wanted to go

saní. Tak rychle: pero, papír, inkoust, ať

by a buggy but then I weawwanged it fow

jsme s tím hotovi, než se Vavroch vrátí.

the sledge. Quickly: pen, papew, ink, we have to finish it befowe Lawwence wetuwns.

(Zatímco Vlasta s Bártou přinášejí žádané

(Bobbie and Bart are bringing the

psací potřeby, Vypich sáhne do peřin,

stationary requested and, in the meantime,

vytáhne umělou ruku a měří pulz.)

Prickle feels the blankets, pulls out the plastic hand and takes its puls.)

VYPICH: Jakpak se daří naší nemocné?

PRICKLE: So how is our patient? Well, the

No, pulz nám odminula sakramentsky

pulse's got pwetty weak since my last visit,

zeslábl, ale pero ještě udržíme. Mám

but we can still hold a pen, can't we,

pravdu, panímámo? (Vypich uchopí list

gammew? (Prickle takes a piece of paper

papíru a zastrčí ho do peřin.) Tady máte

and pushes it into the blankets.) Hewe's

papír, vezměte si pero a pište, šupito presto. papew, take a pen and wwite, quickly now. (Vlasta vezme matce z ruky hrnek a místo

(Bobbie takes the mug out of her mother's

něho jí vklíní do prstů násadku s perem.

hands and presses a pen holder in her hand

Pak zastrčí matčinu bezvládnou ruku mezi

instead. Then she pushes her mother's

polštář a peřinu.)

lifeless hand between the pillow and the duvet.)

VYPICH: Poslední vůle, dvojtečka:

PRICKLE: The last will, collon: Heweby I

Odkazuji... ne, ať je to úplně jasné,

bequeath... no, let's make it pewfectly

neodkazuji veškerý majetek...

cleaw, heweby I do not bequeath my entiwe pwopewty...

(Vlasta sedící na pelesti musí matce občas

(Bobbie sitting on the footboard must from

pero smočit v kalamáři, který drží doktor

time to time dip the pen for her mother in

Vypich. Násadku však z matčiny ruky

the inkbottle that's being held by Dr

nevyndává, ale přibližuje ji ke kalamáři i s Prickle. She doesn't pull the holder out of 43

rukou. Technicky jde o kašírovanou ruku s

her mother's hand but instead she takes it

našitým rukávem, kterým je protažena

to the inkbottle along with the whole arm.

široká guma přichycená k pelesti postele.)

Technically it is a dummy arm with a sleeve through which a wide elastic stripe is attached to the bed.)

VYPICH:... svému druhému muži

PRICKLE:... to my second husband

Vavrochovi, ale právě naopak odkazuji

Lawwence, but on the contwawy I

obytná i hospodářská stavení, dobytek,

bequeath the dwelling and fawming

polnosti, les, rybník a cihelnu... (Vlasta

homestead, cattle, gwounds, pond and the

opět namočí pero.)

bwickyawd... (Bobbie dips the pen

... své jediné dceři jménem Vlasta.

again.)... to my sweet giwlie and only daughtew Bobbie.

VLASTA: Pane doktore, maminka něco

BOBBIE: Doctow, mum wants to tell you

chce.

something.

VYPICH (Nakloní se nad postel): Cože? A PRICKLE (leans over the bed): What? And jejímu otci? Ale vždyť ten už nežije,

to hew fathew? But gammew you suwely

panímámo, Mach je dávno po smrti! Cože? wemembew that he's not alive, he's long (Nakloní se ještě blíž, pak se narovná a

since dead! What? (Leans closer, then

pokrčí rameny.) Chce to tam. Tak jí to tam

straightens up and shruggs.) She insists. So

dáme, i když je to irelevantní. Prakticky

let's wwite it in thewe, even though it's

jedinou dědičkou jste vy, Vlastičko.

iwwelevant. Bobbie, m'dear, you awe viwtually the only heiwess.

VYPICH (diktuje dál): A jejímu otci. Tuto

PRICKLE (resumes dictating): And to hew

závěť jsem sepsala při plném vědomí a

fathew. I have wwitten this will being

ruším tímto svou závěť předchozí. V

sound of mind and I theweby annul my

Brtnici na svatého Martina 1876. Podpis –

pwevious will. In the town of Bwtnice on

Anastázie Vavrochová, dříve Machová,

St. Mawtin's Day 1876. Signed – Anastasia

rozená Rathouská. A teď se podepíšeme my Lawwence, fowmewly Mach, née Wathous. jako svědkové...

And now we shall sign it as witnesses...

(Doktor vyjme z peřin popsaný list a dá ho (The doctor takes a piece of paper with na stůl. Dcera přitáhne matčinu dlouhou

handwiting from the blankets and puts it on

ruku s násadkou až nad stůl. Její rukou se

the table. The daughter pulls the long hand

Bárta podepíše a předá ji jako psací

clutching the holder over the table. Bart

komplet doktorovi. Ten si při psaní

uses her hand to sign himself and passes it 44

polohlasně diktuje.)

like a writing set to the doctor who dictates to himself in a low voice.)

VYPICH: Doktor Vypich vlastní rukou.

PRICKLE: Doctow Pwickle, manu pwopwia.

VLASTA (páčí z umělé ruky násadku):

BOBBIE (wrestling the holder from the

Pusťte, maminko, už ho nebudete

plastic hand): Let go, mum, you won't need

potřebovat.

it anymowe.

(Ruka s rukávem se prudce smrští zpátky

(The sleeved hand bounces hard back to

do postele, doktor závěť složí a schová ji

the bed, the doctor folds the will and puts it

do kapsy.)

away in his pocket.)

VYPICH: Tak a je to. Vavroch bude

PRICKLE: Hewe we go. Lawwence will

koukat, až se to doví. Ale zaslouží si to,

goggle when he finds out. But he desewves

nevděčník. (Tlumeně k Vlastě) Viděl jsem

it, that ungwateful of a man. (In an

ho zase ve městě s tou jeho.

undertone to Bobbie) I've seen him again in the town with that woman.

VLASTA: Chudák maminka.

BOBBIE: Poow mum.

VYPICH: Měl by se stydět. Tady nebožka

PRICKLE: He should be ashamed. His late

je ještě naživu a on se chová, jako by už

wife hewe is still alive and he acts as if he

byl vdovcem.

wewe alweady a widowew.

BÁRTA: A přitom: nebýt tady panímámy,

BART: And on top of that: if it were not for

čím by byl?

the gammer here, what would become of him?

VYPICH: Jistě. Byl by to dodneška

PRICKLE: Pwecisely. He would still be a

prachobyčejný smradlavý podruh. Něco

common filthy gwoom. Just like you, Bawt.

jako ty, Bárto. Scéna 3

Scene 3

Vogeltanz a předešlí (Na scénu rázně

Vogeltanz and the previous ones (Sergeant

vstoupí šikovatel Vogeltanz ve slušivé

Vogeltanz clad in a smart uniform comes in

uniformě.)

briskly.)

VOGELTANZ: Dobrý den! Jsem tu dobře

VOGELTANZ: Good morning! Is this the

na statku u Vavrochů, dříve u Machů?

Lawrence, formerly Mach homestead?

BÁRTA: Jste, pane.

BART: It is, sir.

VOGELTANZ (podá mu ruku): Jsem

VOGELTANZ (shakes his hand): Sergeant

šikovatel Vogeltanz, posádkou v Českých

Vogeltanz, commander of a garrison in

45

Budějovicích.

Budweis.

BÁRTA: Bárta. Pracuji zde jako podruh.

BART: Bart. I work here as a groom.

VOGELTANZ (podá ruku doktorovi):

VOGELTANZ (shakes hand with the

Šikovatel Vogeltanz, posádkou v Českých

doctor): Sergeant Vogeltanz, commander of

Budějovicích.

a garrison in Budweis.

VYPICH: Doktor Vypich.

PRICKLE: Doctow Pwickle.

VOGELTANZ: Šikovatel Vogeltanz,

VOGELTANZ: Sergeant Vogeltanz,

posádkou… (Chce stejným způsobem

commander... (He wants to shake hands

podat ruku Vlastě, ale uprostřed gesta se

with Bobbie but stops dead midmotion and

zarazí a zůstane na dívku užasle hledět.)

gazes at the girl in amazement.) No way! Is

Ne! Je to možné? To snad nemůže být

it possible? This can't be!

pravda. VYPICH: Vy se znáte?

PRICKLE: Do you know each othew?

VOGELTANZ: Právě že ne. Ale tohle se

VOGELTANZ: We don't! But this has

mi ještě nestalo. A že jsem navštívil něco

never happened to me! Mind you, I've

statků a chalup. Ale za celou dobu své

visited a good number of farmhouses and

služby jsem se s tím nesetkal. Četl jsem o

cottages, but during all my service it hasn't

tom, to ano, ale že bych to někdy na vlastní happen to me once. I did read about it but kůži zažil, to ne. To by mě ani ve snu…

to experience it, never. In my wildest dreams I wouldn't...

VYPICH: A co? Co se stalo?

PRICKLE: What then? What's happened?

VOGELTANZ: Láska na první pohled! Jak VOGELTANZ: Love at first sight! The jsem ji uviděl, okamžitě jsem se zamiloval. moment I saw her I fell in love with her. Ale nemyslete si, že je to nějaká povrchní

But never think it's just some short-lived

známost. To je na celý život. To je hluboký, affair. This is for the rest of my life. It's a trvalý vztah. Fuj, to mě to vzalo! (Šikovatel deep steady relationship. Bloody hell, that konečně podá pravici i Vlastě.) Šikovatel

took me off my guard! (The sergeant

Vogeltanz, posádkou v tom… No, vidíte!

finally shakes hands with Bobbie, too.)

Vy jste mi tak zamotala hlavu, že nevím,

Sergeant Vogeltanz, a commander of a

kde jsem posádkou.

garrison in... There you go! I'm so smitten by you that I forgot where my garrison is.

BÁRTA: V Českých Budějovicích jste

BART: You said it's in Budweis. But let me 46

říkal. Ale dovolte, pane šikovateli, abych

make it clear, sergeant, that Bobbie and I've

vás upozornil, že my s Vlastou se máme už fancied each other for years. léta rádi. VOGELTANZ: No, vidíte, a teď do toho

VOGELTANZ: Well, there you are, and

přijdu já a je konec. To máte jako blesk z

now with me coming here it's all over.

čistýho nebe. S tím se nedá nic dělat.

There's nothing you can do about it, out of the blue.

VYPICH: Poslyšte, šikovateli, jestli tomu

PRICKLE: Listen, sewgeant, cowwect me

dobře rozumím, vy jste znal Vlastičku z

if I'm wwong, but you had heawd of

doslechu a teď jste ji prvně uviděl?

Bobbie befowe you fiwst saw hew today?

VOGELTANZ: Ale ne! Vždyť já vůbec

VOGELTANZ: Not at all! Besides, I hadn't

nevěděl, že tu nějaká ženská je. Chodím po known there was any woman. I'm walking chalupách a hledám chlapy. Na vojnu.

around the farmhouses looking for men to

Armáda potřebuje doplnit stavy. No, to je

the military service. The army needs a

tedy situace. Taky vás to, Vlastičko, tak

refill. Well, what a situation. Bobbie dear,

vzalo?

are you so much taken too?

VLASTA: Já nevím. On už tady Bárta mě

BOBBIE: I'm not suwe. Bawt hewe popped

chvíli před tím, než jste přišel, žádal o

the question befowe you came...

ruku… VOGELTANZ: Ale s Bártou si nedělejte

VOGELTANZ: Don't worry about Bart,

starosti. Ten už je mimo hru. Jde na vojnu.

he's out. He's joining the army. He's being

Teď zrovna rukuje.

recruited right now.

BÁRTA: Počkejte… rukuje, rukuje… Já přece nemůžu rukovat!

BART: Wait... recruiting... I can't be recruited!

VOGELTANZ: Byls na vojně?

VOGELTANZ: Have you served in the army?

BÁRTA: Nebyl.

BART: I haven't.

VOGELTANZ: No vidíš. Tak pomašíruješ. VOGELTANZ: There you are. You'll (Pohlédne na Vlastu.) Hergot, ale že budu

become a soldier then. (He looks at

mít hezkou ženu, co doktore? A na první

Bobbie.) Bloody hell, but I do have a fine

pohled!

wife-to-be, don't I, doctor? And at first

47

sight! VYPICH: A to vy často, pane šikovateli,

PRICKLE: Does it happen to you often to

takhle prudce vzplanete?

be so smitten, sewgeant?

VOGELTANZ: Ne. Já jsem dodneška

VOGELTANZ: No. Until today I haven't

neměl o ženy zájem. A přijdu sem a lejtka,

taken any interest in women. Then I come

kdybych se vám zul, úplně spálený. V

here and look at me knocked out on the

Budějovicích se vám bude líbit, Vlastičko.

floor, totally swept off my feet. You'll love life in Budweis, Bobbie dear.

VYPICH: Tak na tom to asi ztroskotá.

PRICKLE: And that's whewe it all may get

Vlastička do Budějovic nemůže.

wuined. Bobbie can't go to Budweis.

VOGELTANZ: Ale proboha proč?

VOGELTANZ: But why for goodness

Budějovice, takové hezké město! Dva

sake? Budweis, such a lovely town! Two

pivovary, Masné krámy…

breweries, Butcheries...

VYPICH: Chvíli před tím, než jste přišel a PRICKLE: Just befowe you came in and zamiloval se, tady nebožka – tedy ona

fell in love, the late gammew – well, she is

zatím stále ještě trochu žije – změnila

still a little alive – changed hew last will.

závěť. Vlastička je nyní dědičkou celého

Bobbie is now an heiwess of the whole

statku a musí se o něj starat. Takže s těmi

homestead and she has to take cawe of it.

Budějovicemi… Neříkám, svatební cesta,

So to this Budweis thing... I'm not speaking

líbánky, prosím. Ale nějaký trvalý pobyt,

about honeymoon, showtly aftew

nechci vám do toho mluvit, to nepřipadá v

mawwiage, no twouble. But any

úvahu.

pewmanent wesidence is out of question if you pewmit me to say so.

BÁRTA: Mně zůstává rozum stát.

BART: I can't believe my ears. Nobody

Vlastičky se nikdo nezeptá, mě se nikdo

asks what Bobbie or I want and you've

nezeptá, a už se tady plánuje nějaká

already planned a honeymoon somewhere.

svatební cesta. VOGELTANZ (k doktorovi): Tiše!

VOGELTANZ (to the doctor): Quiet! Have

Neslyšel jste? Jako by tu někdo mluvil.

you heard that? As if somebody was speaking here...

VYPICH: Jak to někdo? Tady Bárta vám

PRICKLE: What do you mean somebody?

přece říká…

Bawt hewe is telling you...

VOGELTANZ: Bárta? Myslíte toho

VOGELTANZ: Bart? Do you mean the 48

podruha, co narukoval? Ale ten je přece na groom that has just been recruited? But he's vojně. Ten už nemůže do ničeho mluvit.

already joined the army. He doesn't have a say in it.

BÁRTA: Pane doktore, neříkejte tady před BART: Doctor, be so kind and don't say Vlastičkou naplno, co mi je, ale vysvětlete

what exactly the trouble is with me but

mu, že nejsem schopen vojenský služby.

explain to him that I'm not able to join the army.

VYPICH: Je to tak. Bárta má vadu.

PRICKLE: He's wight. Bawt is defected.

VOGELTANZ: Jakou vadu?

VEGELTANZ: Defected how?

VYPICH: Když on nechce, abych to tady

PRICKLE: Well, he doesn't want me to

před Vlastičkou říkal.

speak about it befowe Bobbie.

VLASTA: Mně žádná vada nevadí. Stejně

BOBBIE: I don't cawe about any defect

si Bártu nevezmu. Bárto, jestli tě to

because I'm not mawwying Bawt anyway.

zachrání před vojnou, ven s tím.

Bawt, if it should save you fwom the awmy, spill the beans.

BÁRTA: Dobrá, když ven s tím, tak ven s

BART: Well, if I should spill the beans,

tím. Mám skleněné oko. Podívejte. (Sáhne spill the beans I will. I have a glass eye. si na levé oko, „vyjme“ ho z důlku a podá

Look. (He touches his left eye, „takes it

ho šikovateli. Stojí tu s levým okem

out“ from its socket and hands it to the

zavřeným.)

sergeant. He's standing here with his left eye closed.)

VOGELTANZ (se zájmem si prohlíží

VOGELTANZ (surveying the fake glass

atrapu skleněného oka na své dlani): Pěkná eye on his palm with interest): Clever little věcička. Takový kousek skla, a člověka to

thing. Such a small piece of glass and it

zachrání od vojny. (Podává oko doktorovi.) saves you from the army. (Passes the eye to the doctor.) VYPICH: Já to oko znám. Dal jsem mu ho PRICKLE: I know the eye. I had it gwound vybrousit v Jablonci. Na míru.

fow him in St Helens. It's made-tomeasuwe.

VLASTA: Můžu se také podívat?

BOBBIE: Can I too have a look? (The

(Šikovatel jí ho podá.) Hezké. Takové

sergeant passes it to her.) Nice. Sowt of

upřímné. (Vlasta se nakloní nad duchny.)

honest. (Bobbie leans over the duvets.)

Maminko, podívejte. Bártovo oko! (K

Mum, look hewe, Bawt's eye! (To the

49

ostatním:) Líbí se jí. (Vrátí oko Bártovi, ten others:) She likes it. (She gives the eye na ně dýchne, vyleští ho o kalhoty a zase si back to Bart, he breathes on it, polishes it ho nasadí.)

using his trousers and puts it back in.)

Scéna 4

Scene 4

/Vavroch a předešlí/

/Lawrence and the previous ones/

(Vejde Vavroch a „obecenstvo“ přivítá

(Lawrence comes in and the audience

slavného herce potleskem. Ten zazní z

welcomes him with a recorded ovation

magnetofonového pásu a pravděpodobně

which will probably make the real

přiměje živé publikum, aby se přidalo.)

audience join in.)

VAVROCH: Vidím před vraty doktorský

LAWRENCE: I see the doctor's sledge at

sáně a říkám si, že on je u nás doktor. A

the gate and I wonder if the doctor has

taky jo. Kam se hrabe Bittner, to se nedá

come! And come he has! Even Bittner can't

srovnat. (Otočí se k Bártovi) Tak co,

compare, he's no match for you. (He turns

doktore, jak se daří nebožce?

to Bart) Tell me, doc, how's the late gammer?

(Vypich významně pokašlává, aby na sebe

(Prickle clears his throat meaningfully to

upozornil.)

make Lawrence notice him.)

VAVROCH: Ty mi tu nechrchlej, Bárto. A

LAWRENCE: Get that frog out of your

co tu vůbec děláš? Víš, že nesnáším

throat, Bart. What's your business here

čeládku ve světnici. Zuj mi boty, když už

anyway? You know perfectly well that I

jsi tady. (Sedne si a natáhne před sebe

can't stand domestics in the house-place.

nohu v holínce.)

Take off my shoes as long as you're here. (He sits down and stretches his leg in a Wellington boot.)

VYPICH: Hospodáři, já ale nejsem…

PRICKLE: But goodman, you know I'm not...

50

VAVROCH: Neodmlouvej, podruhu líná!

LAWRENCE: Don't you dare answer me

Otoč se a drž. (Vypich se postaví zády k

back, you lumpish groom! Turn around and

Vavrochovi a nohu s holínkou sevře mezi

hold tight. (Prickle turns his back to

stehny. Vavroch ho svou druhou nohou

Lawrence and grasps his leg between his

odtlačuje. Při tom poznamená směrem k

thighs. Lawrence pushes away with his

Bártovi.)

second leg, remarking towards Bart.)

VAVROCH: Pomocné síly v zemědělství

LAWRENCE: The agriculture labourers are

jsou den ode dne drzejší, pane doktore. On getting cheekier and cheekier, doctor. They si myslí: já pán, ty pán. Ale kdo má

say: Allow me to teach you some manners!

peňauze, je ešče větší pán. Co ty na to,

Gentlemen should respect their servants!

Maryšo?

What do you think, Smeraldina?

VLASTA: Pantáto, že vy jste zase pil?

BOBBIE. Goodman, you've been dwinking

Spletl jste si pana doktora Vypicha s

again, haven't you? You've mistaken

obyčejným podruhem Bártou.

doctow Pwickle fow ouw gwoom Bawt.

VAVROCH: Ano? Tak vy jste doktor

LAWRENCE: Is that right? So you're

Vypich a ty jsi ten můj podruh. Pravda,

doctor Prickle and you must be my groom.

popil jsem. Víno, ženy, zpěv… Ať koluje

True, I've had a couple. A soldier's a man, a

nám v žilách polská krev! Ech, dolej mi

life's but a span. Why then, let a soldier

číši, Bolo! (Nastane trapná pauza.)

drink. Some wine boys! (An awkward pause)

PRINCIPÁL (napovídá ze zákulisí): Co tu

DIRECTOR (prompting from the

dělá ten člověk!

backstage): What's this man doing here!

VLASTA: Otčíme, jistě je vám divné, co tu BOBBIE: Stepfathew, you must be dělá ten člověk v uniformě.

wondewing what this man in unifowm is doing hewe.

VAVROCH: To je pravda. Co tu dělá ten

LAWRENCE: Right. What's this man in

člověk v uniformě?

uniform doing here?

VOGELTANZ: Jsem šikovatel Vogeltanz,

VOGELTANZ: I'm sergeant Vogeltanz with

posádkou v Českých Budějovicích. Osud si garrison in Budweis. My fate has played a se mnou pěkně zahrál. Verbuju na vojnu.

trick on me. Recruiting, I came here.

Přijdu sem, hledám chlapa, a najdu ženu.

Looking for a bloke, I find a woman. Now

Teď se jenom nemůžeme dohodnout, kde

the only question is where we shall live

budeme po svatbě žít. Co byste říkal tomu, after the wedding. Would you like me and 51

že bychom se s Vlastičkou usadili v

Bobbie to settle down in Budweis?

Českých Budějovicích? VAVROCH: Poslyšte, pane šikovateli, ty

LAWRENCE: Listen sergeant, that

České Budějovice, to je v pořádku. V

Budweis thing, that's all right. Budweis is

Českých Budějovicích by chtěl žít každý.

where everyone would like to live. (Shakes

(Zakroutí nad tou větou hlavou.) Kromě mě his head at this pronouncement.) Well, teda. (Do zákulisí.) Co?

except for me. (To the backstage.) What?

PRINCIPÁL (napovídá): Ale prohlédl jste

DIRECTOR (prompting): But have you

si?!

looked at her?!

VAVROCH: Ale prohlédl jste si naši Noru

LAWRENCE: But have you looked at our

dobře?

Nora properly?

VLASTA: Otčíme! Jsem přece Vlasta.

BOBBIE: Stepfathew! You suwely know I am Bobbie!

VAVROCH: Pravda. Prohlédl jste si naši

LAWRENCE: True. Have you looked at

Vlastu dobře?

our Bobbie properly?

VOGELTANZ: Ano.

VOGELTANZ: I have.

VAVROCH: A nic vám na ní nevadí?

LAWRENCE: And there's nothing that bothers you about her?

VOGELTANZ: Ne. Láska na první pohled. VOGELTANZ: Nothing. It's love at first sight. VAVROCH: A takové to tmavší pod nosem, LAWRENCE: And that darker thingy under co má, to vám nevadí?

her nose, that's all right too?

VOGELTANZ: Ne. To se mi na ní právě

VOGELTANZ: That's just what I like best

nejvíc líbí.

about her.

VAVROCH: A jste si jist, že ani později

LAWRENCE: And are you sure you won't

vám to nebude vadit?

mind it even later?

VOGELTANZ: Naprosto.

VOGELTANZ: Completely sure.

VYPICH: Myslím, že vám rozumím, pane

PRICKLE: I think I undewstand you,

šikovateli. Taková věc u ženy může být

sewgeant. Such a thing could be a sign of a

znakem jisté vášnivosti.

woman's gweat passion.

VAVROCH: Jenomže ono to nemusí končit LAWRENCE: But is doesn't necessarily

52

pod nosem, víte? Ono to pak postupuje

have to stop under the nose, right? It might

třeba i níž. Brada, prsa… a co já vím, kde

go on. The chin, breasts... you never know

se to zastaví.

where else it gets.

VLASTA: Já si pana šikovatele stejně

BOBBIE: Nevew mind that, I still can't

nemůžu vzít, tak co.

mawwy the sewgeant.

BÁRTA: Správně to říká. Vlasta dobře ví,

BART: That's the spirit. Bobbie knows

že ona a já…

perfectly well that me and her...

VLASTA: Dals krůtám?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the tuwkeys?

BÁRTA: Dal. Vždyť my na sebe myslíme

BART: I have. We've given each other our

už od dětství.

hearts since we were children.

VLASTA: Dals husám?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the geese?

BÁRTA: Dal.

BART: I have.

VAVROCH: No jo, šikovateli. Vy už tady

LAWRENCE: There you are, serge. You're

ruka v rukávě, a ona vás Nora nechce.

all for tying the knot but Nora here doesn't want you.

VOGELTANZ: Ale to jsou jenom takový

VOGELTANZ: That's nothing but girlish

holčičí řeči. Nemůžu vzít, nemůžu vzít…

chatter. Can't marry him.. Love at first sight

Prostě na první pohled. (Nastane ticho a je and no more of it. (Everybody gets silent zjevné, že se čeká na Vavrochovu repliku.)

and it's evident that they are waiting for Lawrence's line.)

PRINCIPÁL (napovídá ze zákulisí):

DIRECTOR (prompting from the

Olga!!! Olga!!!

backstage): Olga!!! Olga!!!

VAVROCH: Volga! Ano, Volga, Volga…

LAWRENCE: Volga! Yes, Volga... Down

Širá řeka, rovný kraj. Potapyči, padesát let

the Volga, Mother Volga, over the wide

se dívám na Volgu a nemohu se vynadívat. sheet of water, there rises a thunderstorm, a Někdo řekne: Ech, co! Třeba Kudrjaš. Oči

huge thunderstorm. "Let us sing our song,

má, ale k přírodě je slepý. Zato

boys, let it sound down the Volga, Mother

Lomonosov, moudrý vědec. Přírodu

Volga, over the wide sheet of water!"

zkoumal, zápisky dělal… A taky jeden z

(The director on a wheelchair steers onto

nás, holoubku. Prostý člověk… (Na scénu

the stage and makes a cirle around the

vjede na invalidním vozíku principál a

declaiming Lawrence.)

53

zakrouží kolem deklamujícího Vavrocha.) INVALIDA: Dobrý den vespolek! Jsem

THE DISABLED: Hullo everybody. I'm

zvědavý invalida Jirka Karásek.

the curious disabled Georgie Silverfish.

VYPICH (očividně rád): Vítej, Karásku!

PRICKLE (apparently glad to see him):

Přátelé, kdo neznáte Jirku Karáska, to je

Welcome, Silvewfish! Deaw all who don't

vám tak zvídavý člověk. Všechno ho

know him, Geowgie Silvewfish is such a

zajímá. Viď, Jirko?

cuwious person. He's intewested in evewything, awen't you, Geowgie?

INVALIDA: Ano. Poslouchal jsem tady

THE DISABLED: I am. I was

pod okny, co si povídáte…

eavesdropping at the windows...

VYPICH: To on dělá. Poslouchá pod okny, PRICKLE: That's what he does. He a když něčemu nerozumí, přijede se zeptat

eavesdwops and when he doesn't

do chalupy. Tak copak bys chtěl, Jirko,

undewstand anything, he comes to ask

dneska vědět?

inside. So what would you like to know today, Geowgie?

INVALIDA: Dneska by mě zajímalo, kdo

THE DISABLED: Today I wonder who

sem na statek přijde, až vyprovodíte

will come to the farmhouse when the

nebožku. A řekne mi to… třeba… tady

gammer dies. Let's see who'll tell me... why

Vavroch!

not Lawrence here?

VAVROCH (se chytí): Jo. Jo. Jen co tady

LAWRENCE (catches on): Yep. Yep. As

nebožku vyprovodíme, přijde sem Olga.

soon as we send the late gammer off, Olga

Čili mně by se docela hodilo, kdyby šla

will come here. So it would quite come in

Vlastička z domu.

handy if Bobbie left the farmstead.

INVALIDA: To jsem chtěl vědět. (Odjede

THE DISABLED: That's what I wanted to

do zákulisí.)

know. (He leaves for the backstage)

VAVROCH: Říkal jsem vám, doktore, že

LAWRENCE: Have I told you, doc, about

mám Olgu?

my Olga?

VYPICH: Neříkal, ale od jiných jsem

PRICKLE: You haven't but I heawd a lot

leccos slyšel. A sám jsem ji s vámi

from the othews. And I've seen you

několikrát viděl.

togethew a couple of times myself.

VAVROCH: Tak vy jste ji viděl? Co jí

LAWRENCE: So you've seen her? What

říkáte? Fešanda. Co? Už se na ni těším.

do you think? A real looker, isn't she? Oh, I 54

Ovšem, co si budeme namlouvat, Olga a

can't wait to have her here. Still, no

Vlasta, to by nedělalo dobrotu. Ono stačí,

pretense, Bobbie and Olga together, that

že jsem otčím. Ještě aby tu byla macecha… wouldn't do any good. Having a stepfather I když Olga by byla krásná macecha. Jedna is quite enough, imagine a stepmother here, z nejkrásnějších macech, co znám.

too. Mind you, Olga would make a dashing stepmother, one of the prettiest I know.

VLASTA: Vám nevadí, otčíme, takhle

BOBBIE: Don't you mind talking like that

mluvit před maminkou? Třeba ještě trochu befowe mum? She could still heaw a little, slyší. Co my víme?

who knows?

VAVROCH (k Vypichovi): Ona Olga je

LAWRENCE (to Prickle): Well, Olga, she

taková… hezky se strojí, nehty si lakuje, i u is... she likes to dress up, paints her nails, nohou, takový síťovaný punčochy nosí. A

even toe nails, often wears these fishnet

kdybyste viděl, jak to umí s pánama…

stockings. And I wish you could see her

Ovšem nevím, jestli bude do zemědělství.

ways with gentlemen... On the other hand, I

To jsem se jí zapomněl zeptat. Jestli by ji

forgot to ask her if she's into farming. If she

bavily takové ty naše věci jako dojit,

could fancy our stuff like milking,

kydat…

mucking...

VLASTA: Ať to tedy víte, pantáto! Marně

BOBBIE: I'll tell you then, goodman! You

jste mamince míchal do mléka jedu. Dost

poisoned my mothew's milk in vain! She

měla ještě síly, aby vaše plány překazila!

had enough stwength to thwawt youw plans!

VAVROCH: Jedu říkáš? Do kávy! A mně

LAWRENCE: Poison, you say? Into my

se zdála jakási ztuchlá. Proč seš na mě

ear! Upon my secure hour thy uncle stole,

taková zlá, Maryšo? Co nemůže bét u nás

With juice of cursed hebona in a vial, and

jináč? Tak jsem si sliboval, že až budeš mó in the porches of my ears did pour the ženó, všechno pro tebe udělám. A zatím,

leperous distilment (…) and with a sudden

podívé se na mě, podívé se na sebe. Na

vigour it doth posset and curd, like eager

hromech líháme, na hromech vstáváme.

droppings into milk, the thin and

Musí to bét, Maryšo?(Publikum z

wholesome blood!

magnetofonového pásu odmění monolog

(The recorded audience rewards his

potleskem. Na jeviště opět vjede principál.) monologue with an ovation. The director steers onto the stage again.) VYPICH (s úlevou): Á, Jirka Karásek!

PRICKLE (relieved): Ahh, Geowgie

55

Chyběls nám tu, chlapče zvědavá.

Silvewfish. We did miss you hewe, you cuwious boy.

INVALIDA: Víte, co by mě zajímalo,

THE DISABLED: Do you know what I

Vavrochu? Zajímalo by mě, co máte v

wonder, Lawrence? I wonder what's in your

kapse.

pocket.

VAVROCH (k Vypichovi): No, tak mu

LAWRENCE (to Prickle): Come on, show

ukažte, co máte v kapse, Vavrochu.

him your pocket, Lawrence.

VLASTA: Vavroch jste vy, otčíme. Vy jak

BOBBIE: But stepfather, Lawwence is you.

se napijete…

When you have a couple...

VAVROCH: Jo, co mám v kapse?

LAWRENCE: Right, what's in my pocket?

(Konečně mu svitne.) Dobře, že jste mi

(Finally he catches on.) Thanks for

připomněl. (Buší se do prsou.) Tady v

reminding me. (Beating his chest.) There's

kapse mám závěť a ta jasně říká, že dědím

a will in my pocket and it states I'm the one

vše. (Invalida Karásek vrátil rozteklou hru to inherit all. (Silverfish put the play back do koryta a odjíždí.)

on track and he leaves.)

VLASTA (k Vypichovi): Pane doktore,

BOBBIE (to Prickle): Please tell him,

řekněte mu to.

doctow.

VYPICH: Věc se má tak, Vavrochu:

PRICKLE: The thing is, Lawwence, that

nebožka napsala novou závěť.

the late gammew wwote a new will.

VAVROCH: Cože? Vždyť ta už ani neudrží LAWRENCE: What? But she can't even pero v ruce. Ta už je jednou rukou v hrobě. hold a pen in her hand. She has one hand in the grave. VYPICH: To byste koukal,jak pevně ho

PRICKLE: Youw eyes would pop out to

držela! Poslouchejte! (Vypich vytáhne z

see how tight she held it! Listen! (Prickle

kapsy závěť a čte.) Neodkazuji veškerý

takes out the will and reads.) I do not

majetek svému druhému muži Vavrochovi, bequeath my entiwe pwopewty to my ale odkazuji ho své jediné dceři jménem

husband Lawwence but to my sweet giwlie

Vlasta a jejímu otci. – Ten už nežije, takže

and only daughtew Bobbie and hew fathew.

je to irelevantní.

- He's dead, so that's iwwelevant.

VAVROCH: Ježíš, to je výborný! Já dostal LAWRENCE: Gee, that's great! It gave me nápad. Doktore, až přivedu Olgu, byl byste an idea. Doc, when I bring Olga in, could ochoten tak, jak jste to teď čet tím vážným you possibly read it to her again in this 56

hlasem to před ní přečíst? Víte, na tom by

sombre voice? You see, that would make it

se nejlíp poznalo, jestli mě má opravdu

clear if she truly loves me. For I am as

ráda. Poněvadž já jsem teď vlastně žebrák, good as a beggar, did I get it right? jestli jsem to dobře pochopil?! VYPICH: Pochopil jste to velice dobře.

PRICKLE: You got it pewfectly wight.

VAVROCH: To je úžasný. Něco takovýho

LAWRENCE: That's just great. I wouldn't

bych sám nevymyslel. Už ji slyším, jak

make up anything like that myself. I can

říká: no tedy Vypichu…

practically hear her saying: well Prickle...

VLASTA: Vavrochu! Vypich je tady pan

BOBBIE: Lawwence! Pwickle is the

doktor.

doctow hewe.

VAVROCH: Pravda. Já když se napiju…

LAWRENCE: True. When I have a

Už ji slyším, jak říká: no tedy Vavrochu,

couple... I can practically hear her saying:

tohle jsme si nedomluvili. Tvrdil jsi, že

well Lawrence, that wasn't part of the deal.

máš statek, rybník, les, cihelnu, a zatím jsi

You claimed you had a farmstead, pond,

holá prdel. To ona takhle mluví. V tý

wood and brickyard but you're actually out

hospodě mezi chlapama se to snese. A

on your ass. That's the way she talks but the

kouří z dlouhý špičky cigarety. To se mi na pub regulars don't need fancy language. ní taky líbí.

And she smokes from a cigar holder – that I like too.

VYPICH: S údivem zjišťuji, Vavrochu, že

PRICKLE: I'm quite astonished to heaw

se vás to moc netklo, co jste se dověděl z

that the new will doesn't bothew you much,

nové závěti.

Lawwence.

VAVROCH: Ta závěť je v podstatě dobrá… LAWRENCE: The will is basically useful... jak bych to řekl… (Nastaví ucho k

how to put it... (Pricks up his ears towards

nápovědě.) Je dobrá tak akorát na zátop.

the prompter.) It's useful as nothing but a

Rozumíte, zmuchlat ji ráno do kamen, na to fuel. Do you follow me, crumple up and pak třísky a pak teprve to větší dřevo… Ale put in the stove, then some splinters and ne abyste to pálili hned. Nejdřív to musíme finally some bigger logs on top... But mind na Olgu vyzkoušet.

you don't burn it now. First we need to test Olga.

VOGELTANZ: Trochu jsme zamluvili tu

VOGELTANZ: We sort of glossed over our

naši svatbu v Českých Budějovicích. Já

wedding in Budweis. I still have other

57

musím ještě do dalších chalup a potřeboval farmhouses to visit and I need to know how bych vědět, kolik nás bude, abych podle

many of us there will be so that I could

toho objednal salónek.

book the lounge.

VYPICH (pročítá si znovu závěť): Ať to

PRICKLE (going over the will again): No

čtu, jak to čtu, nevidím tady nic, kvůli

mattew how many times I wead it, I see no

čemu by se ta závěť měla pálit v kamnech. weason for buwning it. Mach-Lawwence, Machová-Vavrochová vlastní rukou,

manu pwopwia, witnesses Pwickle, Bawt,

svědkové Vypich, Bárta, všechno štymuje.

all shipshape.

VOGELTANZ: Co byste říkali hotelu

VOGELTANZ: How about The Bell Hotel?

Zvon? V prvním patře nad lokálem měl

Officer Peaheart's wedding took place on

svatební hostinu poručík Pihrt a nemoh si

the first floor over the inn and he was over

to vynachválit. Co říkáte, Vlastičko?

the moon 'bout it. Like that, Bobbie, m'dear?

BÁRTA: Vlastičko, něco ti chci říct.

BART: Bobbie, I have something to tell you.

VLASTA: Dals prasatům?

BOBBIE: Have you tended the pigs?

BÁRTA: A předem hlásím, že jsem

BART: And before that I'm reporting that

veškerej dobytek i drůbež nakrmil. – Když I've tended all the ruddy cattle and poultry. jsme byli děti, hráli jsme si spolu na svatbu. - When we were kids, we used to play A tys už tehdy řekla ano.

wedding . And you already said yes then.

VOGELTANZ: Dětské svatby se

VOGELTANZ: Kids weddings don't count,

nepočítají, přátelé. Jsme dospělí lidé. Ten

folks. We're all grown-ups. We have to

obřad je třeba zajistit, pochopte to. Salónek arrange the ceremony, come to your senses. se musí objednat hodně dopředu, poněvadž The lounge has to be booked way v Budějovicích je denně spousta svateb. A

beforehand because in Budweis you have

teď kostel taky. Já jsem římský katolík. A

many weddings a day. And so does the

vy, Vlastičko?

church. I'm a Roman Catholic. And you, Bobbie?

VLASTA: Také římská katolička.

BOBBIE: A Wowman Catholic too.

VOGELTANZ: Takže to bude v jednom

VOGELTANZ: We'll do it in one church

kostele. Viděl bych to tak na leden. Ať je

then. We'll need some time to prepare it, so

čas na přípravu. Něco jiného by bylo,

January could be fine. A different thing

58

kdyby byla nevěsta v jiném stavu, to

would be if the bride were pregnant, then

bychom museli svatbu uspíšit… Nejste,

we'd have to hurry up... By any chance,

Vlastičko, v jiném stavu? (Vlasta zavrtí

aren't you pregnant, Bobbie? (She shakes

hlavou.)

her head.)

VOGELTANZ: Čili to bude stačit v lednu.

VOGELTANZ: January will do then. I'll

Oznámení včas rozešlu, takže budete

send the wedding cards well ahead, so

přesně vědět kdy a kde. Tak spánembohem, you'll know the place and date. Farewell, já už běžím. (Má se k odchodu. U dveří se

I'll be going now. (He's getting ready to

zastaví a rozloučí se hlasitěji.) Tak

depart, hesitates at the door and says even

spánembohem… (Vavroch, který ho má

louder:) Farewell then... (Lawrence, who's

zadržet, nereaguje.)

supposed to stop him, pays no attention to him.)

VOGELTANZ: Tak spánembohem!

VOGELTANZ: Farewell then!

VAVROCH: Spánembohem, vždyť už jste

LAWRENCE: Farewell, you've said that

zdravil.

twice already.

VOGELTANZ: Ale já odejdu!

VOGELTANZ: But I'll be gone!

VAVROCH: A kdo vám brání, člověče?

LAWRENCE: And who's making you stay,

Jděte si po svých.

man? Go wherever you like.

VYPICH: Já myslím, Vavrochu, že byste

PRICKLE: I think you shouldn't let the

neměl nechat pana šikovatele odejít.

sewgeant go, Lawwence.

VAVROCH: Ne? (Zpozorní.) Vy mě

LAWRENCE: No? (Gets alerted.) I'm

matete, doktore. Proč jako myslíte, že by

baffled, doc. Why on Earth do you think he

tady měl zůstat?

should stay?

VOGELTANZ: Třeba mi chcete ještě něco VOGELTANZ: You might want to tell me důležitého povědět.

something important.

VAVROCH: Aha. To je docela možné. Ale

LAWRENCE: I see. That could be. But if

jestli je to důležitá věc, to já si to budu

it's an important thing, I'll need to think it

muset řádně rozmyslet. Počkejte tady, hned over. Wait here, I'll be right back. (When jsem zpátky.(Když Vavroch zmizí v zákulisí, Lawrence disappears backstage, the actors spoluhráči jsou očividně zaskočeni.

are clearly taken aback. They're filling the

Bezradně vyplňují vlekoucí se čas.)

dragging time helplessly.)

59

VYPICH: On si to rozmyslí a za chvíli ho

PRICKLE: He'll think it ovew and we'll

tu máme.

have him back in no time.

BÁRTA: Za chvíli je tu jako na koni.

BART: He'll be back lickety-split.

VLASTA: Bude tu co by dup.

BOBBIE: Suwe, in a jiffy.

VYPICH: No, ono… důležité věci je třeba

PRICKLE: Well, it's... the impowtant

dobře promyslet. (Pauza.) Pojď sem, Bárto. mattews awe good to think ovew. (Pause.) Co ty o tom soudíš?

Bawt, come hewe. What is it you think of it?

BÁRTA: Já? Já myslím… že se půjdu

BART: Me? I think... I'll go and have a

podívat, jestli se mu něco nestalo. (Zamíří

look if he's alright. (Makes a cowardly

zbaběle do zákulisí.)

attempt to leave for backstage.)

VYPICH: Ne, ne, jen tu pěkně zůstaň. To

PRICKLE: No way, just stay hewe with us.

by mohl říci každý, že se za ním půjde

Anyone could say they want to see him.

podívat. Ve čtyřech se daleko lépe povídá

The convewsation flows much bettew

než ve třech. Viďte, šikovateli.

when thewe awe fouw, not thwee of us, isn't that wight, sewgeant?

VOGELTANZ: Čím víc nás tady je, tím

VOGELTANZ: The more of us are here,

lépe se nám povídá.

the better we can talk.

VLASTA: Ale zase když je lidí moc, tak si BOBBIE: All the same, when thewe awe tak nepopovídáte. Jeden mluví přes

too many people, you don't get much to

druhého…

talk. They'we talking ovew each othew...

VYPICH: Ve čtyřech je to ideální. Ani

PRICKLE: Fouw makes it pewfect. Not too

málo, ani moc. (Po trapné pauze, kdy už

many, not too few. (After an awkward

herci nabrali ze dna svých improvizačních

pause, when the actors drew from the store

schopností, se Vavroch konečně vrátí.

of their improvisational skills, Lawrence

Uvítá ho opět potlesk publika ze zvukového returns at last. He is welcomed again by záznamu.)

the recorded ovation.)

VAVROCH: To jsem vám chtěl říct, pane

LAWRENCE: That's what I meant to tell

šikovateli… (Zarazí se.) Ještě okamžik,

you, sergeant... (He recoils.) Hang on, I

ještě to nemám úplně promyšlené. (Znovu

haven't thought it over enough. (He leaves

odejde. Bárta se zadívá z okna.)

again. Bart looks out of the window.)

BÁRTA: Letošní léto se opravdu vydařilo.

BART: This year's summer was a really 60

Obilí zlátne.

good one. The corn is turning mellow.

VYPICH: Až na ten sníh. Koně měli se

PRICKLE: Except fow the snow. The

saněmi co dělat.

howses had a hawd time with the sledge.

BÁRTA: Ano, ano. Bude se těžko sklízet. V BART: Too true. This harvest will be těch závějích.

tough. With all the snowdrifts.

VYPICH: Bude možná přece jenom lepší,

PRICKLE: Maybe it'll be bettew aftew all

Bárto, když se půjdeš podívat, jestli se

if you go and look whethew he's fine,

Vavrochovi něco nestalo. (Bárta s chutí

Bawt. (Bart steps forward enthusiastically

vykročí, ale vtom už se Vavroch vrací, vítán but suddenly Lawrence returns, welcomed tradičním potleskem.)

by the traditional ovation.)

VAVROCH: To jsem vám chtěl říct, pane

LAWRENCE: That's what I meant to tell

šikovateli: nechoďte ještě. Počítám, že v tý you, sergeant: don't leave yet. I reckon that nový závěti bude i vás něco zajímat.

the new will might be a bit interesting for

Přečtěte, doktore, komu že se ten majetek

you here and there. Doc, read who's the one

vlastně odkazuje.

to get the heritage.

VYPICH: Stojí to tu černé na bílém:… své PRICKLE: It's cleawly stated hewe:... to jediné dceři jménem Vlasta.

my sweet giwlie and only daughtew Bobbie.

VAVROCH (loví uchem nápovědu): Jděte k LAWRENCE (pricking up his ears for the němu a přečtěte to znovu.

prompt): Go to him and read it again.

VYPICH (rozpačitě uposlechne): Své

PRICKLE (obliges embarrassedly): To my

jediné dceři…

only daughtew...

VAVROCH: Vy jděte k němu… (Svitne

LAWRENCE: No, you go to him... (He

mu.) Jo, já k němu! (Přejde konečně k

catches on). Oh, me to him! (At last he

Vypichovi a přečte:) Své jediné dceři

comes over to Prickle and reads:) To my

jménem Vlasta. No, vidíte, pane šikovateli. only daughter Bobbie. There you go, Vy si možná tady Vlastu přece jen

sergeant. There's a good chance you'll take

odvedete.

Bobbie away after all.

VOGELTANZ: O tom já nepochybuji.

VOGELTANZ: I've never doubted that.

VAVROCH: Jenomže ne jako ženu, ale

LAWRENCE: Only not as your wife, but a

jako rekruta.

recruit.

61

VLASTA: Proboha, otčíme, mlčte!

BOBBIE: For heaven's sake, stop, stepfathew!

VAVROCH (Před velkým textovým

LAWRENCE (He goes to stand to his

špalkem si stoupne na svůj „plac“, odkud

„floor“ in front of a huge block,

nemilosrdně vyžene Bártu): Co bych to

mercilessly bundling Bart off.): Why should

nepřiznal, přátelé, jsem kanec. Vlasta je

I deny it, folks, I'm one piece of a skirt-

nevlastní, urostlá, co je na tom zlého, když chaser. Bobbie is a stepdaughter, nice and takový otčím, ještě plný síly, prakticky bez curvy, what harm can it do when a ženy, co si budeme vykládat, dostane

stepfather, still a real man and - no pretense

jednou takhle v noci zálusk. Pravda,

- virtually wifeless, gets one night in the

zamykala se, ale včera zapomněla. To bylo right mood. Truth is, she used to lock překvapení, doktore, když najednou zjistíte, herself in, but yesterday she forgot. What a že nemáte nevlastní dceru…

surprise, doc, when suddenly you find out that you haven't got a stepdaughter...

VLASTA: Otčíme!!!

BOBBIE: Stepfathew!

VAVROCH:… ale nevlastního syna!

LAWRENCE:... but a stepson!

VLASTA (přiklekne k matce a volá do

BOBBIE (kneels down at the bed and calls

peřin): Maminko, slyšíte? Vše je

into the blankets): Mum, can you heaw it?

prozrazeno. Darmo jste mě před vojnou

All's given away. You pwotected me

chránila, darmo jste mě do dívčího

against the awms in vain, you clad me into

oblékala. Místo vařečky šavlička, místo

giwls' clothes to no end. Not a kitchen

sukničky rajtky!

spoon, but a sabwe, no skiwt anymowe, but bweeches!

BÁRTA: Vlasto, co to říkáš? Ty nejsi

BART: Bobbie, what is it you're saying?

Machová? Ty jsi Mach? Ty nejsi Vlasta? Ty You're not she-Mach? You're he-Mach? jsi Vlasta?!

You are not she-Bobbie? You are heBobbie?

VLASTA: Ba právě. Proto jsem tvou

BOBBIE: Too twue. That's why I couldn't

věrnou lásku nemohla opětovati, podruhu

wequite youw love, Bawt the Gwoom.

Bárto. Proto jsem se na to krmení stále

That's why I kept asking about the tending,

vyptávala, ačkoli mi to bylo u prdele, co

though I didn't give a shit about it, why not

bych to neřekla, když jsem chlap. A přitom say it now I'm a bloke. And all the time I jsem tě tolik, tolik chtěla. Teda chtěl. Br, to cwaved fow you so much. Ugh, that's so

62

je ošklivé, budu si muset zvykat.

awful, I could do with some time to get used to being a man.

BÁRTA: To je konec…

BART: It's all over...

VAVROCH (v domnění, že je konec hry,

LAWRENCE (under the impression that

vstane a deklamuje): Tak končí naše

the play's ending stands up and declaims):

komedie… Zlo prohrává… (Vypich ho

So our comedy has come to a close, the evil

zarazí.)

fell... (Prickle stops him.)

BÁRTA: To je konec. Odejdu na jiný

BART: It's all over. I'll leave for another

statek, někam hodně daleko, abych

farmhouse, far far away, to forget. (He

zapomněl. (Otočí se zády k publiku a

turns around and bursts into tears, jerking

rozpláče se, škubaje rameny.)

his shoulders.)

VYPICH (pohlédne mu do očí): Bárto,

PRICKLE (looks into his eyes): Bawt the

podruhu, ty se směješ? (Podívá se lépe.)

Gwoom, you'we laughing? (He looks

Ne, ty pláčeš! Jedno oko nezůstalo suché.

closely.) No, you'we cwying youw eye out.

Ale i pro mne je to poučné. Vidíte, jak se

But this is eye-opening even fow me. See

nevyplácí, když vás k tomu pacientu

hewe how wisky it is not to check youw

zavolají a vy ho důkladně neprohlédnete

patient pwopewly. I've been tweating

celého. Od dětství Vlastičce léčím nastydlé Bobbie's problems with ovawies since hew vaječníky. Ale to vždycky tady panímáma: childhood. But the gammew hewe always poslechněte si jen na zádíčkách, pane

had hew own way: just listen to her

doktore…

bweathing, doctow, that'll do...

VAVROCH: To jsou věci, Vogeltanz! Kde

LAWRENCE: Well, would you believe

jsi? Máš utrum, co?

that, Vogeltanz? Where're you, loser?

VOGELTANZ: Proč? Mně to nevadí. Jak

VOGELTANZ: Why a loser? It doesn't

se jednou zamilujete na první pohled, tak tu matter to me. Once you fall in love at first vyvolenou musíte brát, jak stojí a leží.

sight, you must take your beloved for what

Budeme žít v Budějovicích, teď je to jasný. she is. And now it's crystal clear, we'll live in Budweis. VAVROCH: No, počkejte, vy teď vykonáte LAWRENCE: Wait man, you'll do your svou povinnost a odvedete Vlastu na vojnu. duty and recruit Bobbie now. VOGELTANZ: Jistě. Ale do Budějovic.

VOGELTANZ: Sure thing. But to Budweis.

Budeme tam spolu. To já už si zařídím, aby We'll be there together, in one regiment. I'll

63

mi ji nedali někam na Slovensko. U

see to it that she isn't detached somewhere

jednoho pluku budeme. A zatímco jste tady to Slovenia. And while you were chatting klábosili, mě napad svatební dar: lustr.

away, an idea for a wedding gift came to

Přece nebudeme v parádním pokoji svítit

me: a little money for us to spend as we

nějakou lucerničkou.

wish. Of course, we can put some savings in a bank...

VAVROCH (z pohledů ostatních usoudí, že LAWRENCE (reads from the looks of the má mluvit): Ano. Lucernou, ano. Tou vám, others that he should speak): A bank. Yes, I paní kněžno, posvítím.

know a bank where a wild thyme grows!

VYPICH: Počkejte, Vavrochu…

PRICKLE: Wait Lawwence...

VAVROCH (ho odstrčí a nebojácně se

LAWRENCE (pushes him aside and boldly

vydá na rampu): Ale té lípy se nevzdám! Je goes to stand on the ramp): Where oxlips našeho rodu od nepaměti. Rostla staletí, a

and the nodding violets glows, quite over-

jak bych mohl dopustit, aby padla její

canopied with luscous woodbine, with

koruna, kde ptactvo nocuje a zpívá. (Do

sweet musk-roses and with eglantine! (The

potlesku, kterým je oblíbený monolog

furius disabled steers onto the stage during

odměněn, rychle vjede dosti naštvaný

the ovation that praises this popular

invalida Karásek.)

monologue.)

INVALIDA: Jedu se podívat, jestli vám

THE DISABLED: I'm here to see if the

nevyhaslo v kamnech. No jo, vyhaslo. Co s fire's out in the stove. Course it is. What're tím budeš dělat, Vavrochu?

you gonna do about it, Lawrence?

VAVROCH: Asi by se mělo zatopit, ne?

LAWRENCE: Well, someone should light it up, shouldn't they?

INVALIDA: A čím by se asi tak mělo

THE DISABLED: And what can they light

zatopit?

it up with?

VAVROCH: Novinama?

LAWRENCE: With the papers?

INVALIDA: No, novinama by to jistě šlo.

THE DISABLED: Well, the papers could

Ale co takhle nějaký úřední dokument.

work. But how about any official

Myslíte, že by hořel?

document? D'ya think it could burn?

VAVROCH (se plácne do čela a už ví):

LAWRENCE (slaps himself on the

Koukám, že vyhaslo v kamnech. Kde máte forehead and catches on): Look, the fire is tu závěť?

out. Where's the will? 64

VYPICH: Počkejte, počkejte, Vavrochu. V PRICKLE: Wait, Lawrynce, wait. But one té závěti stačí změnit jediné slůvko, a

word needs to be changed in it and Bobbie

Vlasta zdědí všechno i jako muž. Jen když

will get everything even as a man. The

to panímáma vlastní rukou opraví.

gammer only has to correct it by her own hand.

VAVROCH (Přistoupí k posteli a vytáhne

LAWRENCE (Comes to the bed and pulls

zpod peřiny bezvládnou paži.): Touhle

out the lifeless arm from the blankets.): By

vlastní rukou? (Pustí ji a paže klesne.)

this hand you mean? (He lets go and it falls

Myslím, že vám sklaplo, doktore Vypichu! down.) I 'spose that shuts you up, doc! VYPICH (uchopí kalamář a pero): To se

PRICKLE (takes the ink bottle and a pen):

ještě ukáže. (Vezme visící ruku a vloží jí

We'll see about that.

mezi prsty násadku.) Panímámo, škrtněte

(He takes the arm and inserts the pen

„dceři“ a místo toho napište „synovi“.

holder between its fingers.) Gammew,

VAVROCH: Kdepak, ani se vám nepohne.

cwoss out „daughtew“ and wwite „son“ instead. LAWRENCE: No way, not a tiny twitch.

VYPICH: Á, vy na to asi špatně vidíte.

PRICKLE: Oh, you pwobably can't see it

Půjdeme blíž ke světlu. (Vypich vytáhne

pwopewly. Let's get mowe light. (Prickle

matčinu ruku až na rampu a kryje zády své drags the mother's arm to the ramp and počínání před Vavrochem.) A už to škrtá a

shields the act from Lawrence by his back.)

sama píše. Správně: s, tvrdé y… Má krásný And hewe she comes cwossing it out and rukopis ještě. Teď en… Ta píše.

wwiting hewself. Wight, S-O... She still does have beautiful handwwiting. Now -N. Gweat.

VAVROCH: Prosím vás, to vám nikdo

LAWRENCE: Come off it, nobody's gonna

neuzná, tohle. Vždyť vy jí vedete ruku!

let it through. You're leading her hand, for goodness sake!

VYPICH: Nikoli. Panímáma sama!

PRICKLE: Faw fwom it. It's the gammew

(Násadka spadne na podlahu.) Vidíte? Teď hewself! (The holder falls down.) See? sama upustila násadku. My vám ji zase

Now she's dwopped the holdew. We'll pick

podáme, nevysilujte se… A píšeme dál.

it up fow you again, don't tiwe youwself out. And we go on wwiting.

65

VAVROCH: To vám nikdo neuzná, to je

LAWRENCE: Nobody's gonna let it

jasnej podfuk.

through, it's clearly a sham.

VYPICH: Mám na to svědky. Viď, podruhu PRICKLE: Thewe awe witnesses, awen't Bárto?

hey, Bawt the Gwoom?

BÁRTA: Mě už do toho netahejte. Já jdu na BART: Don't drag me into it. I'm leaving jinej statek, někam hodně daleko…

for another farmhouse, somewhere far far away...

VOGELTANZ: Já vám to rád dosvědčím.

VOGELTANZ: I'll gladly testify to

Při lásce na první pohled nehraje sice to

everything. With love at first sight the

bohatství takovou roli, ale bohatá nevěsta

riches aren't that important, but a well-off

je vždycky lepší než chudá.

bride is always better than a poor one.

VAVROCH: To je tedy zklamání. A já ji tak LAWRENCE: What a disappointment. And miloval. To neříkáte vy, to říká Bárta.

I loved her so much. That's not for you,

(Uvědomí si, co se stalo, a rozčiluje se na

that's for Bart. (He realises what happened

principála napovídajícího za kulisou.)

and brandishes his fists at the director prompting from backstage.)

BÁRTA: To je teda zklamání. A já ji tak

BART: What a disappointment. And I loved

miloval. Kvůli ní jsem krmil jako blbec,

her so much. I kept tending the animals like

když ji to furt tak zajímalo…

an idiot when she cared 'bout nuthin' else.

VOGELTANZ: Vidíte? To je pořád, jak ji

VOGELTANZ: See him? All the time he's

miluje, už od dětství, pak se Vlastičce

like I've loved you since childhood but

přihodí taková maličkost, a je po lásce.

when such a trifle happens to Bobbie, his big love is all over!

VYPICH: Tak a je to. Synovi. Ano, -ovi

PRICKLE: Hewe we awe. To my son. Yes,

měkké i. A vy pořád, že není čilá. A jak si

my with -y. And you claim she's not shawp.

pamatuje pravopis ještě. A máme to:… své How well she wemembews the spelling. jediné synovi jménem Vlasta. No, tak

Got it all:... to my sweet giwlie and only

slohově je to trošku kostrbaté, ale

son Bobbie. Well, stylistically it's a little

nemůžeme po panímámě chtít, aby z ní

gwitty but we can hawdly want the

byla ze dne na den spisovatelka.

gammew to become a novelist.

VAVROCH: To vám nikdo neuzná.

LAWRENCE: Nobody's gonna let it

Podívejte se, ta ruka je úplně mrtvá.

through. Look, that arm's dead as a

66

(Vezme Vypichovi panímáminu ruku do své doornail. (Takes the arm from Prickle into a demonstruje, jak je bezvládná.)

his own and shows how lifeless it is.)

VYPICH (mu ruku vytrhne): Mrtvá ruka,

PRICKLE (snatches the arm from him.):

říkáte? Mrtvá ruka??? (Políčkuje ho

Dead as a doownail? Dead as a

panímáminou rukou.) Tomuhle vy říkáte

doownail??? (He slaps him repeatedly with

mrtvá ruka?!

it.) That's what you call dead as a doownail?!

VOGELTANZ: No, já si ještě Vlastičku

VOGELTANZ: Well, I'll just take Bobbie's

změřím… (Bere jí krejčovským metrem

measurements... (Measures her by an inch-

míry.) Oni to po nás ve výstrojním skladu

tape.) That's what they want us to do in the

chtějí. Sto sedmdesát centimetrů! Voják

accountrements store. A hundred and

jako panna. A v pase jenom šedesát! To

seventy centimetres! What a pretty soldier!

budeme muset nadělat do opasku nové

And only sixty around the waist! We'll need

dírky, Vlastičko. Jako vosa. To sako bych

to make some new holes into the belt then,

popustil pod zadeček, ne? A tady v

Bobbie. Just like a wasp. Let's make the

podpaždí to uděláme volnější, aby nás to

jacket below the botty, shall we? And we'll

neškrtilo. Ovšem kalhoty by neměly

loosen it a bit here in the armpit so that it's

plandat. Přiléhavá kalhota… V které

not too tight.. But the trousers shouldn't be

nohavici jste zvyklá?

baggy. Fitting trousers... Which trouser-leg do you prefer?

VLASTA: Já nevím. Já jsem nikdy kalhoty BOBBIE: I don't know. I've never wown nenosila.

twousews.

VOGELTANZ: Tak ho šoupnem do levé.

VOGELTANZ: So let's plunk it down into the left one.

VAVROCH (se popadne za srdce): Tak

LAWRENCE (grabs his chest): So our

končí naše komedie. Zlo prohrává a dobro

comedy has come to a close, the evil fell

žije. Vám, paní, vidím, se slza v oku

and the good arose. I see a tear glisten n

blyští…

your eye...

INVALIDA (vjede na jeviště a dotírá na

THE DISABLED (steers onto the stage

Vavrocha): Nemá Olga náhodou nějaké

and importunes Lawrence): Hasn't Olga got

kamarády? Nějakého advokáta třeba?!

any friends? Like a lawyer?!

VAVROCH: Advokáta? Má! Samozřejmě

LAWRENCE: A lawyer? 'course she has!

že má. Olga, přátelé, má spoustu kamarádů. Olga, folks, has got plenty of friends. And 67

A mezi nima taky jednoho advokáta. A ten

there's one lawyer, too. And he'll sue you

právě na vás podá žalobu pro falšování

for faking the will.

závěti. VLASTA (se po změření posadila k matce

BOBBIE (after being measured she goes to

na pelest): Pane doktore, maminka s vámi

sit back on her mother's bed.): Doctow,

chce mluvit.

mum wants to talk to you.

VYPICH (skloní se opět nad duchny):

PRICKLE (leans over the blankets again)

Copak, panímámo? (Přiblíží ucho až k

What then, gammew? (He puts his ear

polštáři a vzápětí se prudce vztyčí.) Cože?! closer to the pillow and then straightens up (Znovu se skloní a vztyčí.) Ne!!! Opravdu?

suddenly.) What?! (He bends and then

To je neuvěřitelné! Tenkrát v červnu o

straightens up again.) No way!!!

senách? A jste si jista? Je si jista. – Přátelé, Sewiously? Impossible! Back then in June to, co jsem se právě dověděl, úplně mění

in the hay? Are you suwe? She is. Deaw

situaci a rodinné vztahy.

fwiends, what I've just leawned completely changes ouw situation and family welationships.

VLASTA: Co vám řekla, pane doktore?

BOBBIE: What has she told you, doctow?

Nenapínejte nás. (Vypich udělá před svou

Don't keep us in suspense!

promluvou dramatickou pauzu, což

(Prickle makes a dramatic pause which

Vavrocha zmate, takže převezme od

confuses Lawrence so he takes Prickles'

nápovědy Vypichův text.)

prompted lines as his.)

VAVROCH: Jako mladý, začínající lékař

LAWRENCE: As a young practitioner I

jezdil jsem na tento statek…(Ze zákulisí ho used to visit the farmstead... (The director principál přetáhne smetákem přes záda a

slams him over his back with a broom from

Vavroch zmlkne.)

backstage and Lawrence stops.)

VYPICH: Jako mladý, začínající lékař

PRICKLE: As a young pwactitionew I used

jezdil jsem na tento statek častěji, než mi

to visit this fawmstead mowe often than my

velela lékařská povinnost. Panímáma, tedy medical duty commanded me. The Stázička, byla tehdy opravdovou krasavicí. gammew, well, Stacia, used to be a weal Červen, na lukách voněla sena, Mach

beauty. It was June, hay scented on the

smrděl v hospodě a my dva… Stručně

meadows, Mach stank in the pub and the

řečeno, Vlastičko, jsem tvůj otec.

two of us... Well, to cut the stowy short, Bobbie, I'm your fathew. 68

VLASTA: Pane doktore… Tatínku!

BOBBIE: Doctow... Daddy!

VYPICH: Ale mohlo mě to napadnout, že

PRICKLE: But I should've known you

nejsi jeho dítě. Mach měl, přátelé, tak

can't be his child. Folks, Mach's little fellas

nízkou hemživost, že mě to nad

wewe so sluggish that watching them

mikroskopem až rozesmálo.

undew the micwoscope made me laugh.

VLASTA: Tak proto maminka trvala na té

BOBBIE: So that's why mum insisted on

irelevantní větě!

the iwwelevant sentence!

VYPICH: No jo: „své dceři a jejímu otci“.

PRICKLE: Wight you awe: „my only

Takže já dědím půl statku! To jsou věci…

daughtew and hew fathew.“ So I'm inhewiting half the fawmstead. What a funny wowld...

VAVROCH: Počkejte, počkejte, to bych

LAWRENCE: Wait wait wait, I could do

uměl taky, tohleto. Koukněte… (Stejně

that too. Watch me... (Just like the doctor

jako před chvílí doktor přistoupí k posteli a he appoaches the bed and repeats his zopakuje jeho hru.) Copak, panímámo?

game.) What now, gammer? Seriously?!

Cože? Ne!!! Tenkrát v červnu? Na slámě ve Impossible!! Back then in June? In the chlívě? A jste si jista? Je to sichr? Je to

pigsty? And are you sure? It's sure as

sichr, dědím půl statku.

shooting, I'm inheriting half the farmstead.

VOGELTANZ: Už jsem chtěl odejít, ale

VOGELTANZ: I meant to leave but now

teď vidím, že tu musím ještě počkat, abych I'll better stay to find out who out of these věděl, který tady z pánů otců povede

two fathers is going to walk Bobbie down

Vlastičku k oltáři.

the aisle.

VAVROCH (se popadne za srdce): Tak

LAWRENCE (grabs his chest): So our

končí naše komedie. Zlo prohrává a dobro

comedy has come to a close, the evil fell

žije. Vám, paní, vidím…

and the good arose. I see a tear...

INVALIDA (naštvaný na nejvyšší míru

THE DISABLED (besides himself with

vyjede z kulis a honí Vavrocha po jevišti):

rage steers from the set pieces and chases

My zvědaví invalidi vydržíme hodně, ale

Lawrence around the stage): The curious

co je moc, to je moc. Taková krásná hra, a

disabled like me put up with a good deal

on ji úplně zničí! Ty šmíráku šmírácká, za

but this is too much to handle. My precious

to chceš ty krvavý peníze?! (S těmi slovy

play and he totally ruins it! You bloody

invalida vyžene Vavrocha ze scény.)

dilettante, that's what you rip us off for?!

69

(With these words he chases Lawrynce out of the stage.) VYPICH (za ním volá do kulis): Vavrochu, PRICKLE (shouts to him backstage): to je tvrzení proti tvrzení. (Na útěku před

Lawwence, this is youw wowd against

invalidou vletí Vavroch na jeviště z druhé

mine. (Running away from the disabled,

strany, než kam Vypich volá. Je přivítán

Lawrence rushes onto the stage from the

potleskem publika.) Vy tvrdíte, že jste otec, other side than the one to which Prickle já tvrdím, že jsem otec. Rozhodující jsou

calls. He's welcomed by the ovation.). You

ovšem dědičné znaky. Podruhu Bárto, ty jsi claim you'we the fathew, I claim I'm the nestranný pozorovatel. Upři na nás své oko. one. What mattews awe heweditawy twaits. (Vypich se postaví vedle Vlasty.) Pozoruješ Bawt the Gwoom, you'we an unbiased u prvního nebo u druhého nějaký společný onlookew. Set youw eye on us. (Prickle rys?

goes to stand next to Bobbie.) Can you spot any shawed featuwe?

VLASTA: Bárto, drahý podruhu, tvůj zrak

BOBBIE: Deawest Bawt the Gwoom, now

teď rozhodne, jestli budu doktorova, nebo

youw eye-sight will decide if I'm the

Vavrochova!

doctow's or Lawwence's!

BÁRTA: Já nevím, já mám jen jedno voko BART: I dunno. I have only one eye and a kromě toho odcházím na jinej statek.

besides that I'm leaving for another

(Marně hmatá po klice namalovaných

farmhouse. (He gropes in vain for the

dveří.)

doorhandle on the fake door.)

VOGELTANZ: Doktore, ta stará paní v

VOGELTANZ: Doctor, this old lady in bed,

posteli, vlastně moje tchýně, vám něco

well, actually my mother-in-law, wants to

chce.

tell you something.

VYPICH (opět naslouchá peřinám a hlásí

PRICKLE (listens to the bankets again and

ostatním): Cože? Měla jste permanentní

reports to the others): What? You

strach, že se to prozradí? A co že se

pewmanently feawed that it would come

prozradí? Jaké ráčkování? O čem to

out? And what would? What do you mean,

propánakrále breptáte? Chuděra, už ztrácí

wwong pwonunciation? What kind of

rozum.

gibbewing is that, fow cwying out loud? Poow soul, she's losing her mawbles.

VLASTA: Tatínku, doktore, maminka má

BOBBIE: Daddy, doctow, mum's wight, I

pravdu, teprve teď mě to trklo. Vždyť my

got the pictuwe at last! We both can't say W 70

oba ráčkujeme jako vejce vejci!

to save ouw lives, like two peas in a pod!

VYPICH: Opravdu? Prubneme to. Řekni

PRICKLE: Weally? Let's take a cwack at it.

Rumburk.

Say Wochefowd.

VLASTA: Rumburk.

BOBBIE: Wochefowd.

VYPICH: Hurrrá! Je to můj syn! Ostrouhal PRICKLE: Huwway! He is my son! We jsi, Vavrochu. Řekni Rumburk, srabe!

wiped the floow with you, Lawwence. Say Wochefowd, losew!

VAVROCH: Zabiju učitele Janderu! Až do LAWRENCE: I'm gonna kill my teacher čtvrtý třídy jsem obstojně ráčkoval. Ale to

Jenkins. Until my fourt grade I used to w-

bylo pořád: tdám, tdenky, tdumpeta… a

w-w all the time. But no, he was all like :

dědictví je v pdachu. (Popadne se za srdce Say prram, underrpants, trrrumpet... and a tázavě pohlédne mezi boční sufity, kde

my herrritage is down the drrrain. (He

tušíme invalidu, zda se opět nepouští do

grabs his heart and looks enquiringly

kýženého závěru hry předčasně. Ten vjede

backstage where we expect the disabled if

k ostatním na scénu a souhlasně kývá.)

he isn't going to finish the play untimely again. The disabled steers to the others and nods his head.)

Tak končí – aspoň doufám – naše komedie. So our comedy has come - at least I hope Zlo prohrává a dobro žije.Vám, paní,

so - to a close, the evil fell and the good

vidím, se slza v oku blyští, že chodí to tak

arose. Ma'am, I see a tear glisten in your

pouze na jevišti. V životě našem opačně to eye, that in real life it's much harder to get bývá – tam dobrák úpí, vrch má duše křivá. by. That it's more often the other way round Jak ale říkám na každičké štaci: svět bude

– the good gets punched, the evil gets

lepší, dáme-li si práci. Je marné žehrat,

crowned. But if we work hard, the world

modliti se zdrávas. Vše záleží jen na vás,

will all mend, when I see you from here, I

na nás (Pohlédne do řad vlevo.) a hlavně

hope for good end. It's pointless to swear or

teda na vás.

pray to the Lord, if you stay only here (Looks to the left side of the auditorium.), it'll all get restored.

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Part 2: Translation analysis The second part of the thesis aims to analyse and illustrate various aspects of the translated stage play Záskok. The attention will be given to the individual issues such as idiomaticity, proper names, cultural references and a number of others, with a focus laid on the phenomenon of translatability. In order to clarify the above mentioned, it is vital to define the term translation. Catford explains the process of translation as an operation performed on languages, he expresses it as a substitution of a text in one language for a text in another (Catford, 1). Newmark explores the matter even further and following an extensive reflexion concerning the notion of translation he comes to the conclusion that it is rendering the meaning of a text into another language in the way that the author intended the text (Newmark, 3). Moreover, he states that it can never merely serve as a substitution of the original, its role is not to reproduce only. He urges the translator to delve into the art of translation and consider several different aspects of it, never to regard it as twodimensional. Newmark also adds an important aspect of translation – its being instrumental in transmitting the culture worldwide (Newmark, 7) which may be seen as its most crucial attribute.

1. The methods of translation As far as the translation methods are concerned, Newmark lists them in a following diagram (Newmark, 45): Source language (SL) emphasis

Target language (TL) emphasis

Word-for-word translation

Adaptation

Literal translation

Free translation

Faithful translation

Idiomatic translation

Semantic translation Communicative translation The trends in translation nowadays advise to avoid word-for-word or literal translation, namely when translation fiction. Faithful t. could be applied in certain cases when the 72

equivalents between SL and TL are easily found, but they are rather inappropriate when dealing with cultural equivalents (Newmark, 46). The adaptation and free translation methods may pose a danger of rewriting and thus omitting certain pieces of information, specifics etc. from the TL, free translations have a tendency to prolong the text (Newmark, 46). The method used in the translation part of the thesis is a communicative translation, with occasional examples of idiomatic translation. The emphasis of both methods aim at the reader in TL and the message of the text and it aims to sound natural and simple, even though there might be a certain risk of deviating from the original. In addition, the literary form of the text indicates certain finer points of the translation. In other words, the translation of drama differs in some aspects from fiction or poetry. Firstly, albeit in several cases the problematic nature of the text would invite to, it was necessary to avoid footnotes with additional information when the expression is untranslatable (a very well-known example would be a highly competent and renowned translator of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series Jan Kantůrek), italicised expressions or any other forms of explanations. As Newmark remarks, the translation of a play must be concise, therefore it is advisable to avoid over-translation and prolonging of utterances (Newmark, 172).

2. Translation equivalence The purpose of this chapter is to identify the main attributes of equivalence and illustrate these with examples derived from the translation. Translation equivalence could be defined as a similarity between two languages, its degree varies in accordance with differences between the two languages. The Glossary of Linguistic Terms adds that the equivalence results from overlapping ranges of reference (Bruce, 26-27). Unquestionably, it plays a vital role in the process of grasping the concept of translation as such and thus it is advisable to clarify this subject in detail. Jakobson opines that there can never be full equivalence between two words in different languages – the English word cheese is by no means identical to the Russian syr (Jakobson in Panou, 2). On a similar matter, Knittlova apparently does not share

73

Jakobson's concern and she would cathegorise the words with similar denotation into the same group: tree – strom (therefore even cheese and syr) despite the fact that their concepts might differ ever so slightly (Knittlova, 40. Transl. Š.N.). Furthermore, she states that since 1960s equivalence has been considered a crucial translation issue due to the possibility to transfer all the information from the SL into the TL despite their grammatical differences and varieties (Knittlova, 5. Transl. Š.N.). Pym shares Knittlova's opinion and states that in 1960s and 1970s equivalence was a key word in linguistic-based translation theories. He contributes to the theory of translation equivalence by coining a pair of terms: natural and directional equivalence (Pym, 1), the former supposedly existing independently of translation, in a certain manner on its own, the latter foregrounds the role of the translator and his or her choice of translation style and strategy. On the other hand, Baker believes that equivalence is a relative notion because of its being influenced by a variety of linguistic and cultural factors (Baker, 6). She coins terms grammatical, textual and pragmatic equivalence and builds her translation theory upon different hierarchy – starting with words (or lexemes) as single units of the text and proceeding to the higher level units. Out of a large number of authors debating about equivalence and its types, Knittlova's renowned volume Překlad a překládání seems to offer the most comprehensive and illuminative approach to the issue of equivalence for a Czech beginning translator and therefore this chapter primarily draws on this source. Furthermore, Knittlova distinguishes two basic subtypes of equivalence: The equivalent exists and it is absolute or partial or it does not exist. Each of the cathegories is worth investigating in detail for it provides the reader with useful introduction into the translation problematics.

2.1 Zero equivalents

a) It is possible to substitute the empty position with a calc, paraphrase or a loanword. Such a situation did not occur in the translation as loan words or calcs derived from Czech language are not very likely to appear among English wordstock. 74

b) It is replaced by the equivalent of the situation if the readers are unfamilliar with such a situation in TL (Knittlova, 19, 20. Transl. Š. N.). podruh – groom (p.39) sokolovna – gathering hall (p.15) šikovatel – sergeant (p.45) panímáma – gammer (p.29) pantáta – goodman (p.51) Neither of these equivalents fully correspond with their Czech counterparts, as some of them appear to be Czech specifics: such as sokolovna. The two words panímáma and pantáta apparently do not have any equivalent in English, although goodman fulfills the requirements by being both old-fashioned and dialectal. However, its female counterpart goodwoman appeared too lenghty and therefore I opted for a short equivalent of gammer.

2.2 Absolute equivalents

Especially as far as meaning and stylistical validity are concerned. They typically correspond in the number of lexical units. soudní síň – court room (p.10) pivovar – brewery (p.48)

2.3 Partial equivalents

Here transposition is possible but the equivalent must have the same relationship to the situation. křepelák – hound (p.14) vojna – military service (p.47)

75

Partial equivalence can be further divided into four cathegories based on the differences between the equivalents in TL and SL:

2.3.1 Formal differences

Multiple-worded vs. single-worded expressions

English as an analytical languge contains a variety of multiple-worded expressions and sometimes as a result the English expressions tend to be longer than their Czech counterparts. In many other cases, as the examples below illustrate, the situation may reverse. náročnější kus – far more challenging play (p.10) schválně (jsem si to tu zapsala) – (I put it down) just for good measure (p.13) soudní spor – litigation (p.10) husarský kousek – derring-do (p.10) zálety – chasing women (p.19)

The fact that English is an example of an analytical language could be distinctly seen when the translator deals with positive or negative attitude towards a certain object (Knittlova, 42. Transl. Š. N.). It is characteristic of English to use multiple-worded expression in such cases: šmíráku – bloody dilettante (p.69) kanec – one piece of a skirt-chaser (p.61) veškerej dobytek a drůbež – all the ruddy cattle and poultry (p.58) chudera – poor soul (p.42) vystrnadit – bundle away (p.16)

76

Explicitness vs. implicitness

Longer expressions tend to be more explicit: všichni si oddechli – everybody fetched a sigh of relief (p.25) Kdybys byla panna, měla bys tady odsud k podlaze dřevěnou štangli. - If you were a dummy, there would be a long wooden pole from this place here to the floor. (p.17) Such lenght of translation (long... from this place here) may seem redundant but it was chosen for the sake of the subtle joke: The lover Křižík is having an intimate moment with the tailor's wife and in my opinion it was therefore necessary to provide the English reader with a more detailed description in order to visualise the scene. Nakvap opustila město směrem k Jičínu - left the town in haste making their way towards Jičín (p.15) Here making their way was inserted for esthetical reason. The sentence without it appeared too plain and poor. A situation my occur when the translator decides not to add, but to omit a piece of information due to its redundancy or dispensability.

v pozůstalosti herce Oty Plka – possession of late Otto Blab (p.15) The word possession does not fully correspond with pozůstalost but all remaning possibilities tended to be far longer or did not have the same denotation. However, a slight compensation was added in the form of the adjective late which implies that the person in question is deceased and the question of possession is explained.

In some other cases, the piece of information is ommitted due to its untranslatability (see later in the text): my teď dáváme u Budila jednoho Ostrovského - we're currently playing this Russian, Ostrovsky (p.31) 77

Noun strings and prepositional phrases

Noun strings are very characteristic of English and their main purpose is to shorten the utterances and avoid lenghty structures. Nonetheless, their overusage may lead to ambiguity and difficulties deciphering the meaning of the expressions.

po bezvýsledné výměně názorů mezi jevištěm a hledištěm – after the fruitless audience-stage discussion (p.14) The first version of the sentence was after the fruitless discussion between the stage and the audience but due to the reasons mentioned above it was reduced. Moreover, the language of the lectures is written in a formal style and such expressions suit it better.

2.3.2 Denotative differences

2.3.2.1 Specification

Specification occurs when the equivalent in TL includes more details than the one in SL. A typical example might be the verbs in English the role of which is linkage between various nominal expressions bearing the main meaning, whereas Czech could be characterised as a more verbal kind of language (Knittlova, 48). Thus, it may be generalised that comparing verbs in English and Czech, the Czech texts incline towards greater diversity.

představení vás zavede – the performance will take you (p.9) celý hrad Elsinor odnesl - the whole Castle of Elsinor was taken by (p.14)

However, as the author of the thesis is Czech, it seemed prudent and more natural to avoid monotonous verbs such as say or go in the English translation and therefore they do not occur so frequently in the text. A slight problem arose when the character of the 78

curious disabled appeared on his wheelchair. Several possibilities offered different solutions but none seemed appropriate enough (wheel along, arrive on a wheelchair, propel the wheelchair etc.). Hence, the verbs steer was selected for it sounds the most natural in the author's opinion: na jeviště opět vjede principál – the director steers onto the stage again (p.55)

2.3.2.2 Generalisation

Knittlova believes that generalisation seems to be a far scarcer process in comparison with specification and when it appears indeed, it takes form of substitution by a hyperonym (Knittlova, 48. Transl. Š. N.).

co ty o tom soudíš – what do you think of it (p.60) army – vojna (p.47) velký textový špalek – huge block (p.61) nastydlé vaječníky – problems with ovaries (p.63) The last example was translated in this manner not for the lack of equivalent – inflammation or irritation would have very similar denotation but they sound overly medical and thus they do not correspond to the colloquiality of the word nastydlé.

Huge block represents a typical example of forced generalisation as the expression textový špalek would be unknown to the majority of the readers.

2.3.2.3 Semantic contiguity

The last cathegory concerned with denotative differences is rather large. Knittlova explains that the basic meaning remains unaltered but the differential semantic features vary without being both added and reduced (Knittlova, 60. Transl. Š.N.).

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Ať to tedy víte, pantáto! - I'll tell you then, goodman! (p.55) zůstaňte na svých místech – don't leave your seats (p.16) dramatický pokus – dramatic would-be piece (p.20) Kdo to tu s tebou je, že mě pořád olizuje? - What kind of snogger is it here with you? (p.17) Snogger appeared to be the right word an annoyed old man would use despite the fact that it definitely is not widely used.

2.3.3 Connotative differences

As it has already been suggested in previous chapter by Jakobson, the connotations of words in two languages can scarcely be identical. Different cultural and historical backgrounds or personal experiences are dominant factors preventing the similarities. An example might be a word reccurring within the text: theatre. For both Czech and English speaking readers the connotation varies, albeit slightly. The situation is even more complicated with the kind of theatre typical of Jára Cimrman's era. Fortunately, the connotation is similar and thus no difficulties in understanding are to be expected. Nevertheless, in cathegories of idioms and collocations such difficulties might occur.

2.3.3.1 Collocations

The collocations may be considered in terms of tendencies of certain words to co-occur regularly in a given language (Baker, 29). Their individual propositional meaning may frequently be considerably different than the connotative meaning of the collocation on the whole. Baker elaborates and claims that this tendency to co-occur is on one hand closely connected to their denotative or propositional meaning (Baker, 29). In short, the expressions such as stage or prop are very likely to occur with theatre, duvet would collocate with bed, stuffed or stripy. However, Baker furthermore admits that the denotation itself cannot always account for collocational patterning (Baker, 29) – a play is chracteristically collocated with perform or stage, not act.

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jak si Cimrman vtipně poradil - how wittily Cimrman tackled the challenge (p.10) A number of English expressiosn could be loosely translated as poradit si – manage, cope with, although neither appeared idomatic enough. Eventually I opted for the collocation tackle the challenge for even though the words are perfectly correct to cooccur together, they are not so common and obvious – a more typical example is tackle the problem or difficulty.

jak na Hamleta v Cimrmanově úpravě reagovalo publikum - how Cimrman's Hamlet was received by the audience (p.13) Initially, I was pondering using simple clause the audience reacted but its level of idiomaticity was very low. The second version of the translation contained a verb accepted but this expression suggests a piece which is somewhat controversial and its acceptance is not granted. Eventually, it was replaced by a fixed structure received by the audience the formality degree of which is furthermore intensified by the passive voice.

v kronice jsme našli vzpomínku - a chronicle gives us an account of (p.13) se konečně objeví na jevišti – finally makes his appearance onstage (p.14) In the previous examples the equivalents were chosen with respect to higher level of formal style of the lectures. Both lines could be readily translated in a more simple manner – regarding the former one we found a memory of, and concerning the latter one finally appears on the stage. Nevertheless, the collocations sounded both more natural and formal.

2.3.3.2 Idioms

If comparing collocations and idioms, there are certain shared chracateristics, but at the same time they differ in a variety of key factors. Baker believes collocations to be far more flexible (Baker, 37) – the example being an expression unfathomable reasons 81

which could be in addition modified as reasons we cannot fathom, reasons impossible to fathom etc. On the contrary, idioms are fixed expressions that allow little or no modification whatsoever – to illustrate this quality with an example – the coast is clear (vzduch je čistý) cannot be modified as the coast is being cleared or the coast is clearer. The only exception, as Baker acknowledges, is a situation when the speaker means to play on words or make a joke (Baker, 37). This situation occurs three times in the stage play when the speaker deliberately alters the otherwise fixed expression in order to achieve a humorous effect and all three examples will be analysed in due course: you're crying your eye out, she's one hand in the grave and look at me knocked out on the floor, totally swept off my feet. In addition to that, the meaning of collocations tend to be much more explicit and deducible than in cases of the majority of idioms: sound drama consists of words the meaning of which remains more or less unaltered and therefore it is not difficult to decipher, whereas an opaque idiom spill the beans (ven s tím) is most certainly far less easy to identify as far as the meaning is concerned. The stage play Záskok is doubtlessly rich in idiomatic expressions. Their main purpose is to enhance the atmospehere of informality and colloquiality and in several cases they serve as a ground for puns and jokes and thus create challenging tasks for the translator.

Idioms having very similar equivalents in English

hnulo se v něm svědomí – his conscience pricked (p.40) To je kudla do zad. - They stabbed me in the back. (p.29) Bárta mě chvíli před tím, než jste přišel, žádal o ruku. - Bart here popped the question before you came (p.47) je to sichr – it's sure as shooting (p.69)

Idioms causing changes in meaning

Nekecej. Je jenom jeden Mirek. Druhej je tu na ocet. - Rubbish. There´s only one little Luke. The other one is here just to cheese me off. (p.18) To cheese somebody off does not fully correspond with být na ocet, the latter meaning to be somewhere in vain but I felt that little Luke's constant coming to borrow the same 82

ingredient must annoy the inhabitants of the tailor workshop and therefore it is justifiable. Furthermore, it was necessary to replace the recurring word vinegar which would be the corresponding equivalent for cheese in order to build the pun later on.

vy už tady ruka v rukávě - you're all for tying the knot (p.53) In English there is a variety of expressions concerning nuptials or serious relationship but none seemed to do the justice to ruka v rukávě (to say I do, to get hitched, to walk down the aisle, match made in heaven...). You're all for tying the knot gives the impression of the person craving strongly for marriage whereas vy už tady ruka v rukávě speaks more of the expectations, but both idioms express the same degree of informality and both deal with some kind of garment.

Ty mi tu nechrchlej, Bárto. - Get that frog out of your throat, Bart. (p.50) Chrchlat is such a remarkably expressive and simutaneously onomatopoeic verb that it deserves a counterpart of a similar character. However, neither expectorate which does sound inappropriate here, nor clear sb's throat which does not reach the same degree of expressiveness appeared suitable. The words frog and throat both containing „hardsounding“ „r“ consonant make the idiom a better candidate.

Vždyť ta už ani neudrží pero v ruce. Ta už je jednou rukou v hrobě. - But she can't even hold a pen in her hand. She has one hand in the grave. (p.56) This idiom was originally altered in the Czech text as a joke referring to the gammer's only body part the audience ever gets a glimpse of. The variety of English idioms referring to dying is reasonably rich but this corresponds very well indeed with the original version. After consulting its alteration with an English native speaker, I was assured that in spite of it sounding somewhat peculiar, the meaning in context is transferred successfully.

Ještě jednou sem páchněte a uvidíte, jaký vám dám kapky! - Drop in again and you shall see what I have in store for you! (p.15) This line is uttered by the pharmacist Hoffman and to find an idiom of a similar, and

83

moreover, double meaning was not a simple task to fulfill. The phrasal verb drop in seemed suitable, because its colloquiality leastways resembled the expressive clause Ještě jednou sem páchněte. The first version of the second half of the utterance was and you shall see how I drop you. Later on, drop sb proved to be such an incommon idiom that it would hardly serve its entertaining purpose. The current version you shall see what I have in store for you suits the situation in my opinion far better for both drops and store are clearly connected to the pharmacist.

Jedno oko nezůstalo suché. - You're crying your eye out. (p.63) A situation here is rather similar to the one hand in the grave but Cimrman's text in this case contained an idiom in its regular form. That notwithstanding, jedno oko nezůstalo suché serves its purpose (Bart has only one eye), while the English equivalent had to be altered and it depends on the attention of the reader to undestand the reason for it.

Co bych to nepřiznal, přátelé, jsem kanec. - Why should I deny it, folks, I'm one piece of a skirt-chaser. (p.61) This phrase is such an illustrative example of a Czech colloquial utterance that searching for the equivalent was predetermined to be challenging. Firstly, it was crucial to set the right meaning of kanec even in Czech: a man who is exceptionally sexually active. The expressions describing a similar reality are numerous: a wolf which might be used in a similar way as kanec but far more often it refers to a person with raping tendencies, Casanova which could be rather suitable but there is some doubt that the characters would be familiar with his story, lady-killer would suit rather well but it has an unwanted romantic and genteel air about it. However, a skirt-chaser combines a harsh sound which corresponds with a slightly agressive atmosphere around kanec and (even though it may not be as boasting as kanec is), in my opinion, its meaning is the closest.

Za to chceš ty krvavý peníze?! - That's what you rip us off for?! (p.69) In spite of the fact that the expression bloody money, although the meaning is in some respect different, might be possibly used as an equivalent, I decided to use a more idiomatic collocation. Hiring and paying all the salaries to Kinsky does seem to a be a rip off for the poor director. 84

dostane jednou takhle v noci zálusk - gets one night in the right mood (p.62) To get in the right mood does possibly not achieve the same semantic effect as zálusk because it is more of an inkling or hint but, as with wolf in the previous example, I chose not to be too explicit. The second option was perhaps a more idiomatic expression to have an itch for sth but evidently this does not collocate with the word woman.

Člověče, vy tam máte figur jako na orloji. - You've put there enough characters for a Nativity play, fella. (p.36) Strictly speaking, neither the Czech, nor the English line is a real idiom but both their meanings are figurative. It may be possible that the English-speaking readers are aware of the existence of orloj but we are at risk that they might not be familiar enough with it and thus they will be unable to appreciate the joke. That is why I decided to replace orloj with Nativity play which is, apparently, a popular pre-Christmas past-time activity in the USA and UK.

když dělám takovou kládu ze štégrajfu - with me pinch-hitting as a headliner practically off-hand (p.37) Kláda ze štégrajfu is a remarkable example of a theatre slang, presumably unknown to a majority of even Czech audience. Stych-enzin5 (a webpage dealing with theatre slang) formulates its definition as follows: to perform a leading role without much preparation (Transl. Š. N.). Unfortunately, after fruitless searching a number of theatre term and slang dictionaries6, I was forced to resort to less corresponding expressions. Pinch-hit means to stand-in for sb., headliner is a person in a leading role and off-hand could be loosely translated as without preparation.

A přijdu sem a lejtka, kdybych se vám zul, úplně spálený. - Then I come here and look at me knocked out on the floor, totally swept off my feet. (p.48) English offers a large variety of expressions concerning falling in love (some of which 5 6

Available at http://stych-ezin.sweb.cz/Slovnik/List-A.html Available at http://www.theatrecrafts.com/page.php?id=30, http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Glossary_of_theatre, http://performingarts.about.com/od/Stage_Slang/,

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were used in the play) – to be smitten, fall head over heels, to be infatuated etc. But none could be satisfactorily adapted as the one in the Czech text. To be swept off sb's feet suited the situation rather well for it deals with body parts, identically to the Czech idiom, and both share a low degree of abstraction which enables the translator to build the joke.

Vždyť my oba ráčkujeme jako vejce vejci! - We both can't say W to save ouw lives, like two peas in a pod! (p.70) Rhotacism, which could be defined as inability to pronounce the consonant „r“ correctly, plays a crucial part in the plot of the story and will be dealt with separately in due course. For the purposes of enlightening the translation process of this idiom it only needs to be explained that even though burring is a known phenomenon even in the English-speaking countries, for reasons revealed later on I came to a conclusion that I would replace it with a different speech disability – pronouncing r as w. That is why the structure of the line was necessary to be modified to such a degree. To save our lives was added in order to enhance the meaning that both characters are unquestionably unable to do so. Clearly, even the Czech line ráčkujeme jako vejce vejci is nonsensical, albeit very humorous for it replaces the expected lexical word podobat se - resemble or suchlike. Nonetheless, I was doubtful about neologizing in the English version of the text and the final version does not sound too uncommon.

a dědictví je v pdachu - and the herrritage is down the drrrain (p.71) Similarly, this idiom is connected to rhotacism from the perspective of the person unaffected by it. It was necessary to find an idiom corresponding not merely as for the meaning, but also respecting the „r“ consonant to preserve the humorous aspect of the situation.

2.3.3.3 Vulgarisms and expressives

The first question that necessarily arises is how the vulgarisms and expressives are recognised. Knittlova terms these expletives or swearwords and she defines them as 86

words with a strong emotional meaning which has lost their denotative meaning altogether and they are integrated into the utterance as bearers of emotionality (Knittlova, 72. Transl. Š.N.). In his Master Thesis, Goláň makes an observation that the factors differentiating the expressives from other non-expressives are conspicuousness of the word construction by the means of deviation from the language norm or custom (Goláň, 13). Goláň later paraphrases Uličný when stating that certain lexical units are not expressive inherently and they can become expressive devices when used in a text to connotate intentions of the subject (Uličný in Goláň, 14). In other words, some expletives are used intentionally to evoke the expressive meaning whereas others may but on their own would not have any negative connotation. Moreover, Goláň points out that in some contexts the speakers are unintentionally expressive. This may occur owing to their regional dialect or even personal idiolect (Goláň, 13). Knittlova admits that expletives and intensifiers are very closely connected and in many cases these groups might overlap as they merge into one another quite imperceptibly (Knittlova, 72. Transl. Š. N.). The language style of the stage play Záskok seems to vary between formal (mostly in the lectures), standard and informal (predominantly in the play itself) with tinges of slang and expletives. However, the examples or vulgarisms and expletives are not very numerous. Occasionally, they occur due to personal idiolect (Kinsky, Bart) but more frequently they are used intentionally and scarcely unexpectedly for a bigger humorous effect of greater impact (lecture Cimrman – Stroupežnický Correspondence, Bobbie). The vulgarisms and expletives the stage play comprises could be cathegorised into rough groups based on their degree of expressiveness. This division is merely subjective as no comprehensive list exists that would sort all the expletives into their adequate cathegories. In addition, it is also relative as it refers solely to the target text and, as has already been mentioned, the number of vulgarisms it contains is quite low. Therefore, the expressions included into the third cathegory are by no means a high-degree vulgar expressions on their own.

Low degree of expressiveness

Vaši Naši Furianti mi můžou být ukradení! - I don't give a damn to Your 'Our 87

Dandies'! (p.10) chlap – bloke (p.36) podruhu líná – lumpish groom (p.50)

A kdo vám brání, člověče? Jděte si po svých. - And who's making you stay, man? Go wherever you like. (p.59) This line does not sound too expressive as there are virtually no expletives or vulgarisms. In other words, its denotative meaning is neutral, whereas the connotation and extra linguistic markers (facial expression and voice tone) are the key elements in its expressiveness.

Medium degree of expressiveness

Co je to za blbost? - What kind of rubbish is that? (p.33) blbci – nitwits (p.31) pitomost – piffle (p.35) Protože jsi tak hloupej. - Because you are so bloody dim-witted. (p.42) The expressives blbost/blbec and pitomost/pitomec are very frequent indeed in Czech language and their degree of expressiveness varies. The key elements in choosing their appropriate equivalents are the situation and the context in which they are used, idiolect of the speaker and the general language of the text. I opted for slightly downtoning expressions rubbish and nitwit (their degree of expressiveness is very low as they both occur in children's book such as Harry Potter7). Piffle is collocated with foolish talk and ideas8 which corresponds accordingly in the line where it is used when Lawrence comments on general qualities of verses, but its expressiviteness is at any rate lower. On the contrary, the adjective hloupej was in the English version rather amplified for the connotative meaning of the line is quite offensive.

Je tuhá, ne? - She's pushing up the daisies, isn't she? (p.36)

7 8

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone p. 135, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azcaban, p. 88 Available at http://www.thefreedictionary.com/piffle

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Some dictionaries9 state that the meaning of this idiom is mostly humorous but I believe its degree of expresiveness equals the Czech line.

hergot – bloody hell (p.47) šmíráku šmírácká – bloody dilettante (p.69) The adjective bloody might belong to both expletives and intensifiers cathegories. As such, it is a bearer of a negative meaning (naturally, it may also bear a positive meaning but it tends to be much less frequent) or as an intensifier it amplifies the words negative in meaning on their own (hell, dilettante).

srabe – loser (p.70) Regrettably, no English noun (quitter, goner, chicken, cissy...) with the same denotative meaning as srab could be used satisfactorily as an equivalent. As a consequence, it was necessary to decipher its connotation and search for another expression that would be more appropriate. I specified the connotative meaning of srab fitting the scene as a person who is incapable of achieving something and therefore a noun loser emerged as an acceptable candidate.

High degree of expressiveness

Drž hubu! - Shut up! (p.32) zatím jsi holá prdel - you're actually out on your ass (p.57) ačkoli mi to bylo u prdele – though I didn't give a shit about it (p.62) All these three lines express the highest degree of vulgarism to be encountered in the stage play. The first one, which has clearly offensive connotation and might be a very bewildering factor for the readers in the context of the play, was, strikingly, omitted in the theatre performance recording (staring Zdeněk Svěrák), perhaps for the very reasons dicussed above. As far as the two latter lines are concerned, they are mere comments on the current situation in the scene, therefore they are not to be perceived as offensive. Interestingly enough, their effect in the play is immediate, highly surprising and humourous as they 9

Available at http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/be-pushing-up-the-daisies

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are uttered only scarcely and therefore they are far unexpected. In all three cases I endeavoured to maintain the degree of expressivity to achieve the same effect.

2.3.3.4 Intensifiers

As the previous paragraph suggests, the boundary between expressives and intensifiers might be blurred. Nevertheless, it appears that adjectives and adverbs form a substantial part of the group and Knittlova distinguishes several subtypes: amplifiers, downtoners and horroratives (Knittlova, 79). děsnýho pamatováka - terrific memory (p.36) veškerej dobytek i drůbež - all the ruddy cattle and poultry (p.58) vše je třeba nakropiti - a drop of water, teeny-tiny (p.39) The middle example might be worth a slightly more detailed analysis: the colloquial expression veškerej by no means corresponds with ruddy. Nonetheless, as its more appropriate counterpart would be all or whole neither of which could be modified into more colloquial forms, I chose ruddy as it expresses both colloquiality and the light annoyance involved in veškerej. The note to the last line: the downtoner teeny-tiny naturally does not equal the meaning of the corresponding line but it was inserted there for the sake of the rhyme of the poem.

2.3.4 Grammatical differences

As Newmark poetically puts it: „Grammar is the skeleton of the text, vocabulary, or in a restricted sense, lexis, is its flesh, and collocations, the tendons that connect the one to another.“ (Newmark, 125) The crucial difference between lexical and grammatical choices is the fact that the lexical ones are to a large extent optional compared to the grammatical choices which tend to be predominantly obligatory and much more resistant to the manipulation by speakers (Baker, 84-85). 90

Grammar consists of two main dimensions: morphology and syntax and therefore even the grammatical choices are of two kinds – syntactical, dealing with sentences structures, linear sequences of word classes and imposing restrictions upon the ways the messages could be organised within the language – and morphological, covering the structures of words and their changes (Baker, 83-84). As Knittlova points out, the morphological differences between Czech and English lead to several difficulties the translators might face: the grammatical gender, imperfective and completive aspect, T-V (tu-vous) distinction. Moreover, Baker adds another important challenge – the differences between modes of address. All the phenomena will be dealt with in detail in the section of examples.

2.3.4.1 Gender

It may be classified as a cathegory of noun and pronoun determining these to be feminine or masculine. Czech and English share certain similar features, albeit they differ in many. Czech language distinguishes gender even in inanimate nouns (ta židle, ten stůl) whereas English does not typically pose any considerable problem for the translator in this area. However, Czech feminine suffixes -a or a proper name modification -a and -ová proved somewhat demanding as far as their equivalents were concerned:

A přitom jsem tě tolik, tolik chtěla. Teda chtěl. Br, to je ošklivé, budu si muset zvykat. - And all the time I craved for you so much. Ugh, that's so awful, I could do with some time to get used to being a man. (p.62) Were this line taken from the context, it would not present any translation problem. However, when the pun is built upon the fact that the character makes a slip and instead of chtěl as a man would use, he utters chtěla, English does not provide us with any satisfactory eqivalent and it is therefore untranslatable. Initially, I strove to find another means of transferring the slip into English: And all the time this woman you are looking at craved for you so much. I mean man. Ugh, that's so awful, I could do with some time to get used to it. 91

However, such an equivalent does seem rather gritty and laborious, speak nothing of inappropriate lenght. A later version of the same sentence was: And all the time I craved for you so much. I mean, me as her, not me as him. Ugh, that's so awful, I could do with some time to get used to Him. This translated line is in comparison with the previous one far less laborious, I found the sentences I mean me as her, not me as him reasonably short and therefore rather crisp and energetic and the final word's capital letter could be even understood as a subtle joke concerning the newly acquired manhood. For all that, this version still appeared too clumsy for the reason of necessary lengthening the original Teda chtěl. Due to all the forementioned reasons and the fact that the joke does not play any further significant role in the play I finally came to the conclusion that this pun should not be translated into English without avoiding heaviness or inserting information not included in the original version.

Vlasta – Bobbie (p.39) The main character's name presented an intriguing problem concerning demands for its English equivalent: the name ought to be unisex, albeit for the sake of one pun, it is supposed to be a typically English (in other words not exotic-sounding) name. I sought for a name representing the same notion as Vlasta has and the first and foremost criterion was its being usable for both women and men. As English contains a large number of such names, the task was seemingly trivial – merely choose one out of them: Alex, Charlie, Taylor and many others would be quite suitable, but Bobbie apparently sounds far more informal10 nonetheless, an attribute I was searching for. If comparing Bobbie and Vlasta regarding its popularity, both have not been particularly favoured during the last decades and, additionally, Bobbie reached its peak of popularity during the beginning of the 20th century11 which suits the dating of the setting perfectly. And the last factor taken into consideration was my „translator's flair“ - Bobbie sounds both endearing and colloquial enough to satisfactorily correspond with the diminutive addressing Vlastička which occurs every so often in the play. 10 http://www.babycentre.co.uk/l25008043/top-30-unisex-names#/5 11 http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/0/Bobbie

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Machová, Rathouská – Mach, Rathous (p.44) Another gender-related aspects of the play are the feminine suffixes which in Czech take form of -ová or -á which are on their own untranslatable. Despite the fact that their examples occured in the play several times, the did not pose any significant translation problem in cases such as: Anastázie Vavrochová, dříve Machová, rozená Rathouská - Anastasia Lawrence, formerly Mach, née Rathous (p.44) That notwithstanding, two situations arose when the feminine suffix did prove a slightly more difficult: Bittnerka – that Bittner woman (p.29) In this case it would hardly suffice to adhere to the previous strategy and translate it merely by Bittnerka – Bittner as it would not correspond to the colloquial and largely negative connotation. So a demonstrative that signalling mental distancing and a noun woman were added to enhance the derogatory meaning.

Ty nejsi Machová? Ty jsi Mach? - You're not she-Mach? You're he-Mach? (p.62) The second example shows another manner of dealing with problematic suffix. If I should adhere to the most common translation strategy – avoiding any suffixes (You aren't Mach? You are Mach?), the pun would be rather untranslatable. Any other equivalent would prove similarly inadequate such as You're not her, you are him? avoiding the prefix and preserving the gender issue, but completely losing the pun. Nevertheless, prefix she- bears a slightly inappropriate meaning as it is largely collocated with animals (she-wolf, she-dog) or it may be used to express the speaker's slightly derrogatory or humiliating opinion towards the addressee (she-woman, she-elf). Yet the character Bart uttering the forementioned line is a simple, even somewhat slowwitted man used to working with livestock and therefore it might not seem inappropriate to him to use say such a sentence in context with a woman.

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2.3.4.2 Modes of address

T-V distinction and the level of formality

When translating from English, the translator commonly needs to contemplate the relationships between the characters in order to express their degree of formality. A large number of languages use personal pronous to distinguish the level of formality between the participants of the conversation (tu-vous in French, ty-vy in Czech etc.) My task was considerably less demanding as I was translating from Czech to English and the only potential challenge was how to transfer the T-V distinction into English. However, saying „vy“ does not fully reflect the relationships between the individual chracters in the play. For example, Bart says „ty“ to Bobbie and he speaks with respect, whereas Lawrence saying „vy“ to virtually any other character mainly does not mean his esteem. There are some exceptions: To jsem vám chtěl říct, pane šikovateli: nechoďte ještě. - That's what I meant to tell you, sergeant: don't leave yet. (p.61) To jsou věci, Vogeltanz! Kde jsi? Máš utrum, co? - Well, would you believe that, Vogeltanz? Where're you, loser? (p.63) The two examples show that switching from saying „vy“ to „ty“ can be accompanied by decrease of politeness and formality. Nonetheless, there are even other means expressing the varying level of politeness. In Czech a standard medium-degree level of politeness is addressing people we strive to show respect to by pane/paní (pane šikovateli, pane doktore). English, however, does not know these strategies and that is why the equivalents have to be chosen according to the situation: pane starosto – Lord Mayor (p.29) pane doktore – doctor (p.44) šikovateli – serge (p.53) doktore – doc (p.36) When I roughly analysed the style of individual characters, I came to the conclusion that Lawrence shows the least respect to any character and owing to this fact he would utter a variety of colloquial expressions such as doc or serge. Any other character such as 94

Bobbie or Prickle who speak with much more respect address the other characters doctor, sergeant, Bart the Groom etc. even when there is no pane in the Czech version.

2.4 Textual equivalence 2.4.1 Fronting

Fronting can be defined as the achievement of marked theme by moving into initial position an item which is otherwise unusual there (Greenabum and Quirk, 407).

Vidím před vraty doktorský sáně a říkám si, že on je u nás doktor. A taky jo. - I see the doctor's sledge at the gate and I wonder if the doctor has come. And come he has! (p.50) Dobrá, když ven s tím, tak ven s tím. - Well, if I should spill the beans, spill the beans I will. (p.49) Mluvit nebude, psát bude. - She won't talk, write she will! (p.30) All the forementioned lines contain the examples of fronted predicators and Baker claims that as far as markedeness of theme is concerned, its level is the highest owing to the fact that other sentence elements have to be rearranged accordingly. Furthermore, she continues by stating that the authentic examples are rather uncommon in English (Baker, 135). The stylistic effect intended to achieve was surprise and unusual sound of the sentence. If the very same lines translated in a more conventional manner are compared, the effect is unquestionably lower: Well, if I should spill the beans, I will then. I wonder if the doctor has come. And indeed!

2.4.2 Cleft sentence

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In contrast to fronting, cleft sentences tend to be far more common in English. Similarly, their main purpose is a focus, a marked theme, in the sentence (Greenabum and Quirk, 413).

V tom má prsty hlavně Bittnerka - It was that Bittner woman having her fingers in the pie. (p.29) The marked theme characteristically follows the it-structure and the focus of the sentence naturally moves here. In the example I aimed to emphasize that Bittner woman, consequently, it is revealed that Bittner wouldn't leave by himself and therefore she is the one to be highlighted.

3. Other specific aspects of the translation 3.1 Proper names

The importance of proper names in fiction might vary but, generally speaking, their role in a literary work tends to be significant for several reasons: they point to the setting, nationality and perhaps even social status of the characters (Kalashnikov, 1). The tendencies in proper names translation could be resumed as follows: Knappová reports that the approaches to translating foreign names into Czech language are not always unified. However, the strongest tendency is to preserve the names in their original form with the exception of the the feminine sufix -ová (Knappová, 1, Transl. Š. N.). It could be presumed that this strategy may well get reversed and we can therefore deduce that when translating from Czech into English it is advisable to preserve the original names without the feminine sufix. At any rate, the situation in case of the stage play Záskok is much more complex. Proper names frequently bear certain connotations or simply evoke some feeling about the character, very often humorous. However, it is necessary to distinguish between a humorous name as such which gives certain attributes to its bearer and a name which is intended to sound slightly unusual, humorous even, but never ridiculing. As Svěrák and

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Smoljak themsleves stated in a radio interview12, coining proper names for their characters is their speciality. They both agreed that the names would not be comical in the first place. On the contrary, they both preferred regular, common names which would, nonetheless, somehow fit the character (Svěrák, Smoljak, radio interview. 0:34 – 0:47, Transl. Š. N.). As the last point, the choice of translated names should be clarified. Whenever a name occured which refers to a real-life person, it remained in the original Czech form. However, a majority of the names were translated in order to transfer as much of the atmosphere they help to create in English.

hajný Sodomka – Sodommie the Gamekeeper (p.14) The choice of the name Sodomka is rather unclear – is it intended to evoke the word sodomy? However, I doubted that the authors planned to make any hidden implications about the gamekeeper and his dog and therefore I decided not to elaborate and leave the word in as unaltered but still comprehensible form as possible. Sodommie could be understood as „a little Sodomy“ and I deemed it wise to select the least controversial version.

František Křižík – Francis Křižík (p.16) This is an example of a living person whose name I always intended to preserve in the Czech version. Nevertheless, I eventually translated František as Francis (despite the fact that he might be known among some small number of readers under his original name) because he predominantly appears in the stage play as one of the characters and the Czech name František would not sound very natural. Simultaneously, it could be presumed that those readers who are familiar with his name, would recognize him by his surname.

Čeněk – Vincent (p.34) This example was a rather easy task to translate as its equivalent is ready-made in Czech.

12Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/kultura/cimrman/_zprava/413265 97

malý Mirek – little Luke (p.17) Venouš – Willie (p.17) A slightly more demanding task, although it also deals with common Czech names, were Mirek and Venouš. Mirek being an informal version of Miroslav and Venouš of Václav do not exist in English. Mirek's equivalent little Luke was chosen due to the aliteration in the Czech text – malý Mirek. In spite of the fact that there was rather a wide choice of adjective such as small, tiny, little, wee etc. and corresponding same-consonant names, little Luke sounded the most agreeable and it was my translator's “flair“ which had the final word. As Václav's natural English equivalent Wenceslas sounds inappropriate in the context of the play, I opted for a slightly similar-sounding name William (Vilém in Czech), sharing the beginning letter with Wenceslas.

Láďa – Laddie (p.23) Bárta – Bart (p.39) poručík Pihrt – Liutenant Peaheart (p.58) The three forementioned examples share the same strategy concerning their English equivalents – the sound resemblance between the original and the translated name. In each case, the demands upon their English counterparts were not only the sound aspect, but also their ability to „stand its ground“, to fit among the other English expressions. Bart is short for Bartholomew (both Bart and Bárta come reportedly from the apostle bearing this name13) and even though Peaheart is not a word on its own, it does not sound unnatural. Láďa, albeit coined using the same strategy, is a slightly different case. It is an informal version of Ladislav Stroupežnický which falls into a cathegory of untranslatable names. However, as Cimrman gradually switches from a distant and polite to a very informal style in his correspondence with Stroupežnický, I intended to transfer some of this into English. Laddie by no means corresponds with Láďa, as it means „a boy“, but Cimrman could in his increasing informality use this term as he later on address his colleague old 13 Available at http://www.ptejteseknihovny.cz/uloziste/aba001/2010/puvod-prijmeni-bartu , http://www.behindthename.com/name/bart

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sport.

Ota Plk – Otto Blab (p.15) Vypich – Prickle (p.39) Similarly to the previous examples, these two names were coined on the basis of the same strategy: the meanings of the original names were projected into their English equivalents. Plk evokes the idea of chit-chat, chatter or gossip. However, as Ota Plk consists of a very short name and a surname, none of these verbs proved suitable. Otto Blab seems to posses the very qualities I was searching for: similarity of meaning, shortness and crispiness. Analogous to Otto Blab, Prickle was invented using the same method: Vypich evokes an idea of a spiky or pointed thing and prickle being a real object in English makes the name more natural-sounding for the English-speaking reader.

Vavroch – Lawrence (p.50) Svěrák reflects upon the choice of an unusual name Vavroch by acknowledging its singularity and admitting its unclear origin. However, he admits that their inspiration might have been in the play Maryša so often cited in Záskok where one of the main character's name is Vávra. Svěrák elaborates that Vavroch sounds even harsher like the one who is capable of poisoning the gammer (Svěrák, 1:05 – 1:20, Transl. Š. N.). My feelings about the name were rather different. In my opinion, Vavroch as a modified version of a rural name, evokes a simple, crude man of mean manners. As its closest equivalent in Czech is Vavřinec, in English Lawrence, I firstly opted for Lawrynce – its slightly modified version. Later a decision was made that Lawrynce does not equal Vavroch, it merely sounds peculiar, and therefore I selected Lawrence.

Karel Infeld Prácheňský – Carl Infeld Kinsky (p.28) In the radio interview14 Svěrák furthermore enlightens the origin of the most prominent name of the stage play – Karel Infeld Prácheňský. He explains that this name was provided by his co-member of Jára Cimrman's Theatre Company Petr Brukner. 14 Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/kultura/cimrman/_zprava/413265

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Prácheňský was apparently Brukner's ancestor and he in fact was an actor from Pilsen indeed (Svěrák, radio interview. 0:01 – 0:15, Transl. Š.N.). Svěrák continues, that this name, already existing, sounds very agreeable, it evokes positive feelings because it consists of three names (Svěrák, radio interview. 0:49 – 0:55, Transl. Š. N.). The connotation the name evokes for me was identical: The name sounds noble, formidable and gives a positive, albeit slightly intimidating, impression of its charismatic bearer. At any rate, to preserve the name in its orginal form would not create the same atmosphere in English. My first choice was to maintain the overall feeling but alter it into a more English-sounding version: Karl Infeld Dustowski (Prácheňský – Dustowski) and Karl resembling the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Eventually, this notion was revalued and it was decided that for the English-speaking reader a name which sounds Slavic and simultaneously familiar would be the most appropriate: Polanski, Bukowski etc. Owing to the noble origin of the House of Kinsky15 and its fame around Europe, this name appeared to be the best candidate that would meet the requirements.

Musilová-Vébrová – Smith-Parker (p.31) učitel Jandera – teacher Jenkins (p.71) Mach – Mach (p.41) Anastázie (Stázička) – Anastacia (Stacia) (p.68) The first three expressions could be classified as examples of characteristic Czech surnames without corresponding English counterparts (and as such they can hardly be translatable at all) and for this reason their satisfactory equivalents should be found in accordance with their main properties such as frequency among the population (SmithParker) or sound or spelling resemblance (Jenkins). Regarding the last example, Mach, I came to the conclusion that it would be the best if left untranslated due to two facts: Firstly, it is an unremarkable and unmarked surname without any visible connotation and, secondly, both its possible pronunciation and spelling sound rather natural in English and, consequently, there is no need to transform it. The last example Anastacia (Stacia for short) was a very simple task to accomplish as it does have a relevant equivalent in English. 15 Available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Kinsky

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Pankratěvna Praskovna - Pancrea Cracknaya (p.32) Lazar Jelizarovič Podchaljuzin - Lazarus Yelizarowitch Podkhalyuzin (p.32) Kuzma Kuzmič – Kuzma Kuzmitch (p.35) Sysoj Psojič Rispoloženskij - Suslickoy Caninycz Rizpolozhensky (p.32)

There are several phenomena characteristic of the stage play Záskok, one of which is frequent use of references to several other literary works, among which Russian playwright Ostrovsky appears repeatedly. Ostrovsky's name is not unknown among the English-speaking readers, albeit he does not belong to the best-known ones.. The plays which these characters were taken from (Bankrupt and It's a Family Affair-We'll Settle It Ourselves – Kuzma Kuzmitch is an exception extracted from The Brothers Karamazov) may be one of the most prominent but there is every doubt that a regular English – speaking reader would be aware of them and thus appreciate the reference. Beside the fact that another literary work is being cited here, the main purpose of the names appearing in the play is their humorous effect. There is every doubt that a foreign reader would appreciate the original, only slightly modified Russian names (Sysoj Psojicz Rizpolozhensky) as in English they merely sound peculiar but do not have any humorous effect. For that reason I chose to translate the names into English bearing their connotations in mind.

In my opinion, Pankratěvna Praskovna evokes an image of a cracked pancreas. Consequently, I used these words and modified them so that they appear more “Russianlike”: Pancrea Crackanya. Sysoj Psojič Rispoloženskij's last name does not resemble any remarkable entity in the world in contrast to Sysoj and Psojič which both evoke the impressions of animals: Sysoj to suslick and Psojič to a canine animal. I applied the same strategy and complemented the animal nouns with “Russian-sounding” sufixes: Suslickoy Caninycz.

I did not try to alter Kuzma Kuzmitch for two reasons: Firstly, it does not possess much humorous potential (the comicality comes from the situation itself, intonation etc.) and if I should create it, it would be very artificial. Secondly, this Dostoyevsky's brainchild 101

The Brothers Karamazov appears to be rather renowned and translating such a name would not be suitable.

The last example Lazar Jelizarovič Podchaljuzin was, similarly to Kuzma Kuzmitch, not translated into English with only subtle modifications (Lazarus Yelizarovitch) for the same reason as Kuzma – the name as such does not evoke any humorous effect and therefore I merely transformed into more natural form.

Micka – Kitty (p.41) Kitty corresponds with Micka in two aspects: both are among the first ten most popular feline names and both are short and familiar.

Jirka Karásek – Georgie Silverfish (p.53) Although Jirka Karásek is now among the most prominent names in Cimrman's plays, Svěrák admits that despite the fact that it is a perfectly ordinary name, it took [the authors] some time to get used to it (Svěrák, radio interview. 1:15 – 1:30, Transl. Š. N.)16. I absolutely share Svěrák's view – Jirka Karásek truly seem like a common name, however, it does have a pleasant and likeable atmosphere about it. Its English equivalent was very simple to coin for both the first and last name have corresponding counterparts in English language.

Vogeltanz – Vogeltanz (p.45) The last of the main characters appearing in the stage play is sergeant Vogeltanz, an example of a typical German name. Thus it was not necessary to translate or adapt it in any way for its only purpose was to sound Austro-Hungarian enough as any typical officer recruiting soldiers for the emperor's army would.

3.2 Geographical names 16 Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/kultura/cimrman/_zprava/413265

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The United Nations Group of Experts on Geographical Names defines a geographical name as a name applied to a feature on Earth and more generally that it is a proper name (a specific word or combinations of words) used consistently to refer to a particular place, feature or area. It can be also referred to as a toponym. As far as their translating strategy is concerned, it is advised to avoid any creativity and simply choose the appropriate standardized equivalent.17 The European Commission Translation Service English Style Guide adds that even though many places today have anglicised forms, the people are becoming more familiar with these names in the language of the country in question and, as a result, foreign spellings gain wider currency in written English. It furthermore recommends using the native form for geographical names except when an anglicized form is overwhelmingly common.18 However, concerning the standardized equivalents, a difficulty may occur. As Castañeda-Hernández points out, geographical names are „all but accurate and precise and exceptions are so frequent that no rule can be systematically applied“ (CastañedaHernández, 1). He advises to keep the name in the original language if in doubt about the exact translation. In case a question emerges concerning what the original name is, it is recommended that a document be found and may serve as a primary source for translation. But he simultaneously acknowledges a problem emerging from this simple rule: when the particular place changed allegiance in the past and therefore its original name is questionable (Castañeda-Hernández, 3). Conveniently for the purposes of this work, he provides an example of a Czech town České Budějovice which could be marked as the most prominent geographical name within the stage play Záskok.

Evropa – Europe (p.24) Rusko – Russia (p.24) Both these geographical names are examples of standardized expressions.

České Budějovice – Budweis (p.33) Plzeň – Pilsen (p.28) 17 Available at http://unstats.un.org/unsd/publication/seriesm/seriesm_88e.pdf 18 Available at http://ec.europa.eu/translation/english/guidelines/documents/styleguide_english_dgt_en.pdf

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Both Budweis and Pilsen are these towns' names in German language. It is quite understandable as the Czech Lands was a part of the Habsburg Empire for nearly four hundred years, although it retained its partial sovereignity as a kingdom and after the World War I. retreived its independence. Naturally, this fact raises a justifiable question which name should be used in the English translation with their solid historical background (Castañeda-Hernández, 3). Eventually, I decided to use the German denominations as both Pilsen and Budweis could be found on the Internet on Englishspeaking websites and, moreover, they are rather renowned for thier breweries.

Praha – Prague (p.14) The translation task concerning Czech capital city Praha is even more intriguing: Prague comes from the old Slavic word praga, which means ford referring to Vltava river and it is evident that both Praha and Prague are derived from this word. Despite the fact that Praha itself is famous at least all over Europe, it can be assumed that its equivalent Prague sounds more natural to English ears.

Jablonec – St Helens (p.49) Jablonec gained popularity for its glass manufacture, similarly to Pilsen with the breweries. When Prickle says that Bart's glass eye was made in Jablonec for him it provides the reader with a valuable piece of information: the eye must have been quality and high-priced indeed. We might speculate further on and claim that it enables the reader to receive a more in-depth picture of Prickle's or the inhabitants' of the Mach homestead kind personalities, when, supposing the groom at the time could not afford such luxury, they treated him so well. It is evident that to preserve Jablonec or omit it would not be enough for the reader to appreciate the family situation and therefore I decided to search for an adequate equivalent. St Helens is a large town in North-West England known for glassmaking industry which has a long tradition here. Supposing that leastways the British readers should be aware of its existence and thus might be able to observe the connection.

Kopidlno – the town of Kopidlno (p.13) Dymokury – the town of Dymokury (p.23) 104

Čimelice – the town of Čimelice (p.21) Roudnice – the town of Roudnice (p.22) Pisek – the town of Písek (p.23) Choceň – the town of Choceň (p.25) Příbram – the town of Příbram (p.28) Brtnice – the town of Brtnice (p.44) na Poděbradsku – near the town of Poděbrady (p.23) Rumburk – Rocheford (p.70) The series of the following examples shares one common feature: the geographical names were preserved in the original versions without Czech diacritics. The reason behind this choice is absence of their English counterparts, their untranslatability and thus the basic rule of using the native forms could be applied here. However, several questions arise concerning the roles of these towns in the stage play. In most cases it may be assumed that the particular places were chosen haphazardly. Clearly, the authors could have used any far more humorous names of villages located in the Czech Republic if their aim were a comical effect. Therefore, a conclusion could be made that these towns' names do not possess any lateral meaning and their occurance is not vital for the plot. Nevertheless, as a matter of opinion, a number of exceptions could be noticed.

Firstly, the town of Kopidlno clearly bears a certain degree of comical meaning. My former intention was to translate this town in order to maintain the slight comicality from the original as Hoofville, Hoofborough or Hoofbury. Eventually, it seemed the most reasonable to adhere to the strategy concerning the geographical names I foreshadowed at the beginning of this chapter. What is more, the reference of Kopidlno is made only once in the stage play and it is not relevant for the plot of the story.

Secondly, in my opinion, the occurance of the name Brtnice as well as Rumburk is conditioned by their utterance by the character who mispronounces „r“ so as to achieve more comical effect. I chose to preserve Brtnice in its native form with the addition of the town of, however, Rumburk is used in a completely different manner – its occurance 105

does not refer to any place name as such, but its purpose is to utter a word containing a large number of „r“ consonants. Due to this fact I substituted Rumburk by another corresponding town and a famous kind of cheese (albeit its spelling is slightly different) and thus enhancing the possiblity of the readers being familiar with it: Rocheford.

And finally, a town the name of which holds significance for the Czech history is Roudnice. Unfortunately, an English-speaking reader would be rather lost as to why it is mentioned and commented on so many times in Cimrman – Stroupeznicky correspondence without any apparent relevance to the topic. I intended to replace both Rip and Roudnice with a similar legend from the English environment but I was unable to find any corresponding personality: William the Conqueror, Rollo, the Duke of Normandy, or even Arthur, King of the Britons, would all require significant interference with the storyline and I meant to avoid it. As a consequence, Roudnice remained in its native form and it is to be hoped that the significance it bears would be clear from the context (it is also rather questionable whether Roudnice does play important role in the legend at all).

3.3 Intertextuality

The term intertextuality can be denoted as a reference to other predominantly literary texts within another text. It was first coined by Julia Kristeva and it became immensely popular among the postmodern authors along with pastiche, allusion and others. However, its popularity has not vanished even since the postmodern era came to an end and it still remains a widely used literary device. As it has already been mentioned, the key element of intertextuality is a reference. It may be either clearly recognizable and thus easily deciphered or it might be more covert in which case the recognition tends to be rather elusive. Lemaster divides the occurance of intertextuality into two cathegories according to its complexity: Firstly, Book in a Book which she defines as a brief or prolonged reference to a literary text comprising giving the title, adopting a famous character or revisiting a scene from another book. Secondly, she introduces an intertextuality form of Other „Text“ in a Book: it is a reference to a media or social text in a literary text – a film, a song etc. (Lemaster, 1) 106

In the stage play Záskok the examples of intertextuality fall into the first cathegory – a number of references identified are predominantly related to the names of literary characters appearing in other stage plays, book titles, and passages from other stage plays. Some of these presented extraordinarily challenging translatability problems as they are all closely related to the Czech literary environment (we could admit that all of them are untranslatable) and for that reason they are utterly unknown to an Englishspeaking reader.

3.3.1 Book titles Naši Furianti – Our Dandies (p.10) Despite the fact that Městské Divadlo Brno translates the name of this play Our Swagerrers in the English version of their webpages, I was unable to find this title in any other source. That notwithstanding, I decided not to use this equivalent for the reason of its rather negative connotation. A swaggerer might be defined as a person who seems overconfident about an ability, quality or possession. Another words with related meanings are bragger or blower.19 In my opinion, the Czech word furiant is an oldfashioned expression scarcely or virtualy never heard uttered nowadays and these equivalents do not appear appropriate as they are all quite modern and frequently used. In additon, furiant has a certain roguish and mischievous air about it which enhances positive connotation of the word. Hence, a slightly old-fashioned noun dandy the meaning of which could be explained as a man who considers style and demeanour very important, was chosen as the adequate candidate, although I am aware of the fact that the meanings of the two counterparts do not fully overlap. At any rate, for me the English translation I opted for, feels far more melodious and evokes more positive feelings about one of our most prominent stage plays.

Alibaba a čtyřicet loupežníků - Alibaba and Forty Thieves (p.10) Gogolův Revizor – Gogol's Inspector (p.25) The book titles above illustrate an example of a rare translation situation in the stage play when the literary works are well-known in the English-speaking world and their 19 Available at http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/swaggerer

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equivalents have already been conceived.

Ibsenovo drama pod názvem Nor - Flaubert's piece as Mad Man Bovary (p.10) In contrast to the previous book titles, the pun this paragraph analyses poses an incomparably more challenging translation task. The authors toy with the name of the famous stage play Nora (in English it is, however, Doll's House) by Henrik Ibsen and transform it into its male obverse, achieving the comical effect by its ambiguous meaning: Nor is by no means a male equivalent of the name Nora, it is an inhabitant of Norway. Hence, I was not satisfied with mere alteration of the title such as Norwick or Little Soldier's House for these do no attain the same level of comicality and double meaning. As a consequence, I commenced a research among the many foreign literary work titles involving a female character whose name would enable a similar equivoke. Eventually, the title meeting my requirements was Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert whose counterpart Mad Man Bovary is a male modification and also plays with the original words, which was the effect I strove to achieve.

Hamlet bez Hamleta – Hamletfree Hamlet (p.9) It can be assumed that such a simple title as Hamlet bez Hamleta certainly does not require any elaborate equivalent: Hamlet without Hamlet might be an effortless option with a corresponding meaning. However, I believe that owing to the fact that English is generally less diverse regarding the variety of expressions compared to Czech with far richer offer of means of expressions (Knittlová, p.24. Transl Š. N.) and in English the translator frequently has to employ less expressive equivalents, it is advisable to use any opportunity to enrich the English translation.

Lucerna – Midsummer Night's Dream (p.31) kněžna – Titania (p.31) Lucerna (The Lantern) is a famous stage play written by our prominent writer and playwright Alois Jirásek and the examples of intertextuality referring to it within the stage play are quite frequent. The reasons might be numerous: First and foremost, it is one of the best-known stage plays in the Czech Republic (at the least, the majority of the the audience would be aware of its existence as they were inevitably taught about it 108

during their school years). Furthermore, its premiere took place in 1905, the timing of which corresponds perfectly with the setting of the play Záskok (1910) – it would be a novelty, but Kinsky would have enough time to replay it several times and thus memorise it perfectly. I have chosen as its English counterpart Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream for all the following reasons: both plays share a similar theme – a fairy-tale plot taking place in the nature whose beauty the plays celebrate. Both plays also involve a conveniently similar main royal female character – Queen Titania and princess (English unfortunately does not know this noble rank of kněžna).

Slepý mládenec - The Jew of Malta (p.37) Šumařovo dítě – Spanish Tragedy (p.37) Both these English equivalents were selected based on two criteria – their literary genre (tragedy) and the fact that they are commonly known in the English-speaking world.

3.3.2 Character names Maryša – Lady Macbeth (p.25) Apart from Lucerna, the second frequently quoted Czech stage play is Maryša written by Brothers Mrštík, which became a very popular dramatic play for its tragical plot. On its own it would be untranslatable as it lacks a corresponding English equivalent, therefore I decided to assign the main female character Maryša another notorious part of Lady Macbeth for both women share similar roles in their plays: Maryša poisons her hated husband Vávra and Lady Macbeth intoxicates the guards so that they would be suspected of a murder.20

Švanda Dudák – Truffaldino (p.25) Dudák is the main character of J. K. Tyl's stage play Strakonický dudák (The Piper from Strakonice), a dramatic tall tale (in Czech dramatická báchorka). I am aware of the fact that Švanda Dudák does not fully correspond with Truffaldino, the leading role of the comedy The Servant of Two Masters, but they do share certain common features 20 Available at http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/views/plays/playmenu.php?WorkID=macbeth

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nonetheless: in both plays the dialogues are comical (albeit the genre of Strakonický dudák is not a comedy) and both represent a welcomed contrast to the previous character Lady Macbeth by Otto Blab (see p. 25 in the translation part).

Pankratěvna Praskovna – Pancrea Cracknaya Lazar Jelizarovič Podchaljuzin - Lazarus Yelizarowich Podkhalyuzin Sysoj Psojič Rispoloženskij - Suslickoy Caninycz Rizpolozhensky Kuzma Kuzmič – Kuzma Kuzmitch see Proper names chapters

3.3.3 Passages from other stage plays Ale té lípy se nevzdám! Je od našeho rodu odnepaměti! Mň mň mň... The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. Ain ain ain... (p.30) 21 When Kinsky arrives among the travelling troupe, he utters this famous line from Jirásek's Lucerna presumably for two reasons: to impress his new co-actors and as a vocal warm-up. Both purposes are fulfilled in the equivalent extracted from G. B. Shaw's Pygmalion - moreover, the line itself serves as a tongue twister in the original play. I also intended to employ a well-known line from a popular play from approximately the same period as Záskok takes place. On si myslí: já pán, ty pán. Ale kdo má peňauze, je ešče větší pán. Co ty na to, Maryšo? They say: „Allow me to teach you some manners! Gentlemen should respect their servants!“22 What do you think, Smeraldina? (p.51) This line is another example of Kinsky's favourite quotation from stage play Maryša. Finding its adequate equivalent posed one of the most intriguing translation problems I faced. The criteria were set as follows: the quotation ought to address a servant, preferably about questioning the stereotypical master-servant relationship, and a woman should be mentioned at the end of it, as Lawrence uttering the line addresses Bobbie, 21 Available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rain_in_Spain 22 Available at http://www.luoghidellarte.com/imgspettacoli/text_THE%20SERVANT%20OF%20TWO %20MASTERS.pdf

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mistaking her name yet again. After fruitless search I remembered an ideal play for such purposes: The Servant of Two Masters where a bold-faced Truffaldino often talks insolently to his masters. The girl's name of Smeraldina was added to the original quotation, but this modification surprisingly suits it very well as the final line Co ty na to, Maryšo? was similarly not part of the original Lízal's (one of the characters from Maryša) monologue. Víno, ženy, zpěv… Ať koluje nám v žilách polská krev! Ech, dolej mi číši, Bolo! A soldier's a man, a life's but a span. Why then, let a soldier drink. Some wine boys! (p.51) 23 The former line uttered by Kinsky is an extract from Oskar Nedbal's Polská krev (Polish Blood), considered the best-known Czech operetta.24 As the English-speaking audience would be most probably unfamiliar with this play, it falls into the cathegory of untranslatable quotations and therefore it was necessary to search for an equivalent from an English-speaking environment which would additionally deal with a wine-drinking event. Eventually, a quotation from Shakespeare's Othello appeared to serve this purpose perfectly, corresponding with the Czech version in terms of length, content and even the general „atmosphere“ of the situation.

Volga! Ano, Volga, Volga… Širá řeka (...) holoubku. Prostý člověk… Volga! Yes, Volga... Down the Volga (…) over the wide sheet of water!" (p.53) 25 Another from Kinsky's quotations, this time excerpted from Ostrovsky's Late Love, results from his character's misinterpretation of the name Olga. The passage from Late Love might possibly be used in the translation in its English version, however, it is my belief that replacing it with an extract of more popularity would make it more appealing for a foreign reader. For this reason I researched a number of world-acclaimed literary works without any satisfactory result. Another possibility was naturally Russian folk music which was predetermined to celebrate its greatest river in some manner. A song Down the River Mother Volga26 might not be as popular as Song of the Volga Boatmen 23 Available at http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/views/plays/play_view.php? WorkID=othello&Act=2&Scene=3&Scope=scene&LineHighlight=1200#1200 24 Available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oskar_Nedbal 25 Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGSLPfOVc0 26 Availble at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWGSLPfOVc0

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which was popularised by Glen Miller, but its lyrics is, unfortunately, unsuitable for the purposes of the translation, yet it belongs to the most famous Russian folk songs of our time.

Jedu říkáš? Do kávy! A mně se zdála (...) vstáváme. Musí to bét, Maryšo? Poison, you say? Into my ear! Upon my secure (...) and wholesome blood! (p.55) 27

Albeit this quotation is once more extracted from the stage play Maryša, I decided not to replace it by either The Servant of the Two Masters or Macbeth. Its main theme is poison and neither of these plays meets this requirement (even though Lady Macbeth did intoxicate the guards, there is no line in the play which would sufficiently describe this scene and thus be appropriate for my purposes). Nevertheless, another of Shakespeare's plays offers a moderately suitable scene described in a particularly dramatic language – in Hamlet, when the prince's father's ghost recounts his violent death.

Lucernou, ano. Tou vám, paní kněžno, posvítím. Ale té lípy se nevzdám! Je našeho rodu od nepaměti. Rostla staletí, a jak bych mohl dopustit, aby padla její koruna, kde ptactvo nocuje a zpívá. A bank. Yes, I know a bank where a wild thyme grows! Where oxlips and the nodding violets glows, quite over-canopied with luscous woodbine, with sweet muskroses and with eglantine! (p.64) 28 The final quotation ensembled in this chapter is the third extract from Lucerna, or to be precise, an extended version of the very first one. However, as several times before, it is intiated by a line uttered by another character and consequently misinterpreted by Kinsky. In this case it is in Czech version the following line Přece nebudeme v parádním pokoji svítit nějakou lucerničkou whose final word triggers Kinsky's attention. But as the original quotation was again beyond understanding for an English-speaking reader and thus untranslatable and the equivalent excerpted from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream one more time, the intiator lucerničkou or lantern would be impossible to use. Accordingly, I was obliged to alter the previous line completely, so 27 Available at http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/views/plays/playmenu.php?WorkID=hamlet 28 Available at http://www.opensourceshakespeare.org/views/plays/playmenu.php?WorkID=midsummer

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that its content would suit the following quotation and, consequently, word bank became the new initiator: … mě napad svatební dar: lustr. Přece nebudeme v parádním pokoji svítit nějakou lucerničkou. an idea for a wedding gift came to me: a little money for us to spend as we wish. Of course, we can put some savings in a bank...(p.63)

4. Other untranslatable aspects of the translation

4.1 Rhotacism and pronunciation problems

One of the key elements of the plot of the stage play Záskok is certain characters' burring – an inability to pronounce „r“ correctly in a manner that its vocalising reminds of the characteristic French „r“. Owing to the fact that the English-speaking population does not develop such a disorder, there was a need to substitute this vital feature in the English translation in another way. Bearing in mind the authors' claiming that they by all means avoided mere ridiculing of the characters (for example by openly humorous names) and following my own observations that Cimrman's humour does not tend to be straightforward and primitive, I decided not to employ any „first-choice“ and common defect, such as „s“ pronounced as „f“. It might be my personal dislike but I have experienced usage of such a defect in many comedies of dubious quality and I would denote it as the simpliest option which would most probably achieve the humorous effect. Eventually, I adopted the original idea of rhotacism (could be defined as difficulties and inabilities to pronounce the consonant „r“of several kinds)29 but modified it so that it would be more suitable for the English environment and the characters of my English translation pronounce it as „w“.

29 Available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhotacism

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4.2 Omissions

Omission is one of the techniques a translator might employ in cases when the information in SL is untranslatable into the TL (Knittlová, 93. Transl.Š.N.). Typically, the whole expression might be replaced by a more general one or, in cases when it is not strictly relevant to the plot, it may be omitted completely.

ze slavné divadelní společnosti Vendelína Budila z Plzně - from the famous theatre company in Pilsen kolegové se s ním setkali až ve vlaku, když jim cestou do České Třebové kontroloval jízdenky - colleagues finally encountered him on the train when he made to check their tickets (p.25) Even though Vendelín Budil appears overall three times in the original text, there is no mention of him in the English version, despite the fact that arguable equivalents from the English-speaking environment could be found – King's Head Theatre Company or virtually any other London theatre bearing a famous name. Quite a similar situation arose in case of Česká Třebová – its reference in the Czech version does not relate to the story as such – in my opinion its occurance was merely to add a „flavour“ to Otto Blab's part of the story. To sum up, the reasons for total disappearances of both Budil and Česká Třebová are their non-relevance to the plot as well as my decision not to overfill the translation with English cultural references in cases when it is not necessary (when no pun is built upon it or deeper understanding of the plot depends on it) – I intended to maintain Czech environment whenever possible.

úryvek z originální verze v překladu Milana Lukeše – an extract from the original version (p.11) The name of Milan Lukeš, a prominent Czech Shakespearean translator, did not unfortunately find its way into the translation. When the actors introduce the famous play Hamlet or declaim its verses in English, any mention of the Czech translator's name would be rather redundant and therefore it is untranslatable. 114

4.3 Cultural references

zlatá kaplička – „golden chapel“ (p.19) Even though the name of zlatá kaplička is well-known to any Czech, only a small number of English-speaking readers would possibly be acquainted with this term standing for the National Theatre in Prague. Nevertheless, in my opinion, it should be clear from the context of the Cimrman-Stroupežnický correspondence what it refers to and, additionally, the quotation marks indicate that it is a mere denomination of the institution and therefore it may, presumably, remain in this form, even though it lacks any explicit explanation.

Zeyer, Vrchlický, Stroupežnický (p.22) Adalbert Kolínský, Eliška Kutnohorská (p.20) The three names opening this paragraph belong to one of the most prominent Czech authors of the 19th century. Therefore, as such they are untranslatable and two possible options arise regarding their equivalents: either to find their corresponding counterparts from the history of British literature, or let them remain in their originals. However, as all three of them were real-life personalities, I would deem it unwise to search for any English counterparts. Moreover, Zeyer and Vrchlický are referred to in only a short note in the stage play, and no pun is built upon their occurances. Stroupežnický plays a far more important role in the introductory lecture, being a notable character of the correspondence with Cimrman which includes various allusions and covert hints of his personal life (his obstinacy, impoliteness and bitterness). For all these reasons it is particularly demanding to find a corresponding equivalent. Eliška Kutnohorská is apparently an allusion to Eliška Krásnohorská, a prominent Czech writer from the 19th century, but unfortunately, I was unable to locate the model for Adalbert Kolínský. As it did not seem appropriate to replace only one of these two Cimrman's pen names by a more familiar-sounding English equivalent, I eventually preserve them both in their Czech original forms.

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Říp – Rip Čechové na Řípu – Czechs on Rip (p.20) Čechové na řípu – Check on rip (p.23) The last, albeit by no means the easiest, example of cultural references is a part of the stage play dealing with the mythical events on Mount Říp, located in Bohemia in the North of Prague. It is my belief that the legends described in the stage play suffice for the readers to be able to understand their significance in the Czech mythology and therefore I did not seek its English equivalent (although there is a large variety of sacred places in the United Kingdom). This notwithstanding, Říp plays a considerably more important role later on: its name is employed in the stage play Čechové na Řípu – Czechs on Rip which recounts a legend about the first Slavonic people led by the Forefather Czech who settled in the Czech Lands. This story is still, I believe, rather comprehensible even for a foreign reader as it is discussed in detail within the Stroupežnický-Cimrman correspondence. At any rate, a real translation challenge occurs when Cimrman alters the original name Čechové na Řípu into Čechové na řípu. This charming play on words is, however, virtually untransferrable into English, its untranslatability even increased by a longer pun developped from it. Therefore I was forced to change an extensive passage from the play in order to preserve the pun, even though in my version it is a completely different one: Byl zde velký nedostatek pracovních sil pro sklizeň cukrovky a pro celou řepnou kampaň (...). Závěrečná píseň, v níž se titul Čechové na řípu! Čechové na řípu! Opakuje ve sboru, strhuje diváky tak mocně, že cukrovar jede naplno jako nikdy. They were facing some difficulties with local women's clothing. To put a long story short, many of their skirts revealed more than is decent for a lady (...). The final song where the chorus Check on rip! Check on rip! is several times repeated captivates the audience so much that the ladies are even shamefully returning to wearing crinolines! (p.23) I modified the core of the pun řípa (meaning beetroot) into rip (in my version a deliberate vertical line on the side(s) of a skirt which enables the wearer to make longer strides and/or provocatively show more of her legs). As it is evident from the extracts above, the whole pun was rebuilt accordingly.

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Thoughts and comments on Stand-In by Cimrman English Studio In October 2014 a group of English-speaking expatriates under the leadership of a British director Brian Stewart performed a premiere of the first translation of Cimrman's play ever in the premises of Žižkovské divadlo Járy Cimrmana in Prague. Curiously enough, the play they chose to translate is the very same one this thesis deals with: Záskok – Stand-In. Despite the fact that its chief translator Emília Machalová (along with her consultant Brian Stewart) claims that mere translation of the play lasted approximately a year30 and the final embellishments and rehearsals were equally lenghty, I can declare with a clear conscience that my decision to translate the same play was not affected by their choice whatsoever. Moreover, I was fully unaware of such a project in progress and – strange though it might seem - my idea to translate this very Cimrman's stage play was conceived independently and I learned about it only when I discussed my Diploma Thesis concept with my supervisor. Lastly, I claim that I have by no means employed any features of their translation in my thesis and that I watched brief extracts of their version only when I finally finished my own thesis. However, this incredible coincidence allows me to ponder another translator's point of view and I strongly believe that comparison between Machalová and Stewart's version and my translation would be a very valuable resource of inspiration and insight. Unfortunately, a full recording of the play was not available and thus mere short extracts provided the source material for the comparison, therefore my comments are rather fragmentary. This notwithstanding, I would like to pinpoint several intriguing differences between the two versions. Firstly, Cimrman English Studio (CES) resolved the articulation disorder problem by implementing the forementioned „s“ as „f“ pronunciation called lisping. My opinion of it has already been expressed in one of the paragraphes above, yet it should be noted that it does achieve its comical effect. The reactions of the audience were initially confused as one of the spectators remarked: „I have to admit that I was thinking why the actors were lisping. At first, I didn't get it that poor sibilants were actually a part of the play. But yes, it worked, I had fun.“(Transl. Š. N.)31 30 Available at http://www.radio.cz/en/section/in-focus/english-stands-in-for-czech-in-first-translationof-cimrman-classic 31 Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/zpravy/divadlo/_zprava/v-praze-se-hral-cimrmanuv-zaskok-vanglictine-misto-rackovani-si-herci-slapali-na-jazyk--1365527

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Another remarkable contrastive element is the absence of character and geographical names equivalents. As far as I was able to hear from the recordings of the English play, the major characters were preserved: Vavroch, Vypich, Bárta and even Vlasta remain the same in both original and English version. Surprisingly enough, Ota Plk was translated as Otto Piffle (in my version Otto Blab). Furthermore, so were geographical names: České Budějovice were by no means adapted or translated. Other surprising revelation was the lack of expressive language I myself strove to highlight and employ whenever possible. As the table suggests, in many cases where I opted to add more „flavour“ into the English translation, the CES maintained a more standard type of language: Czech version

CES version

My version

Chlap

Man32 (recording 1:02)

Bloke (p.36)

Co je to za blbost?

What nonsense!33 (recording What kind of rubbish is 1:23)

that?! (p.33)

Tak kampak, Kuzmo

So where are you, Kuzma

Where are we off to, Kuzma

Kuzmiči?

Kuzmitch?34 (recording,

Kuzmitch? (p.35)

3:16) ...mě tady Bárta požádal o

He's asked for my hand.35

Bart here popped the

ruku

(recording, 1:25)

question before you came... (p.47)

Smím tě políbit? - Polib me, May I kiss you? - Kiss me,

May I kiss you? - Please do,

Františku.

Francis.36 (recording, 2:27)

Francis. (p.17)

Kdo to tu s tebou je, že mě

Who's that, licking my

What kind of snogger is it

pořád olizuje?

face?37 (recording, 2:42)

here with you? (p.17)

Concerning the other stage plays equivalents, in certain cases CES selected a similar version to mine, such as the example of Tma jako v pytli – The Pitchest Black in my version and Pitch Black in CES version. Concerning another stage play Hamlet bez Hamleta, CES opted for the first natural translation Hamlet Without Hamlet - my choice Hamletfree Hamlet has already been explained. 32 33 34 35 36 37

Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osmc6XM_H3A Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfgDtR89JaU Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfgDtR89JaU Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osmc6XM_H3A Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8ArdZKX9Fs Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8ArdZKX9Fs

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Regarding the quotations from other plays, unfortunately only a single CES example was availabe to analyse: Kinsky's declamation of Ale té lípy se nevzdám! CES version is an extract from Shakespeare's Hamlet: To be or not to be!38 (recording, 1:34) This revelation is rather unsurprising for me as I initially intended to employ the very same line for an apparent reason: each spectator or reader would be undoubtedly familiar with it. However, as an afterthought, I realised that the examples of intertextuality in the stage play Záskok are far more variable and the literary texts the character Kinsky refers to tend to be diverse and numerous. Therefore, it appeared not to be appropriate to employ purely Shakespeare's quotations, albeit the majority of them would be simple to identify for the audience. One of the authors of the stage play Zdeněk Svěrák, who was present at the public reading-rehearsal, made a commending comments on the performance and approved of their choice of stage play which does not involve such a big number of cultural references, compared to the other Cimrman's stage plays. He also observed certain differences concerning explicitness – he says that „They sometimes have tendencies to say everything too overtly, which is too much for us. Take me as Vavroch, at the end I'm saying 'if you stay only here', they know pretty well there are the nitwits in here.“39 (Svěrák) Be that as it may, it appears that both the English- and Czech-speaking audience were satisfied. To sum up, the number of differences observed between the CES version and mine were only to be expected and to compare both works enabled a fascinating insight into other translator's mind, despite the fact that the material for analysis was largely limited.

Conclusion Out of the total of fifteen Cimrman's stage plays, Záskok truly seems to contain a low number of cultural references which would seemingly evoke a feeling of safety that the play does not pose any significant challenges for the translator. However, the play virtually overflows with numerous examples of idiomatic and colloquial language, whose expressiveness is at times rather difficult to transfer into the English language. 38 Available at http://www.ceskatelevize.cz/ct24/kultura/290263-cimrman-anglicky-rip-a-repa-takovyhumor-prelozit-nelze/ 39 Available at http://www.rozhlas.cz/zpravy/divadlo/_zprava/v-praze-se-hral-cimrmanuv-zaskok-vanglictine-misto-rackovani-si-herci-slapali-na-jazyk--1365527

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Moreover, the cultural references and predominantly plentiful examples of other authors and literary works intertextuality that do occur in the play, are frequently either exceptionally challenging to translate, or are every so often untranslatable at all. The Czech specifics might be not so numerous compared to the remaining Cimrman's plays, however, truth be told, perhaps not so much the plot itself, but its setting comes deeply from the heart of the Czech environment and thus certain parts must be, in my opinion, strongly adapted or „lost in traslation“. When I started to translate this wondrous play nearly nine months ago, a mental image of me writing a conclusion was nothing short of unimaginable. The more I delved into the playful fictional, and yet so real, world of Jára Cimrman, the more I began to realise that a large number of its genius will remain hidden for my possible future readers. I admit that several puns and jokes remained untranslatable despite my best efforts, the Czech specifis and, most importantly, Czech dry humour sometimes expressed in the slightest subtleties was at times not fully expressed in my translation. Despite all this, I cannot but hope that the English-speaking reader would find his or her way to this little humble Czech man whose phenomenon was born from totality into freedom and who represents what it truly means to be Czech – resourcefullness, persistence and unceasing self-ironising smile.

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