KELEKATAN IBU - ANAK MENGUAK MISTERI IKATAN IBU-ANAK DAN DAMPAKNYA THDP KUALITAS KEHIDUPAN ANAK EUIS SUNARTI DEPT ILMU KELUARGA DAN KONSUMEN FAKULTAS EKOLOGI MANUSIA INSTITUT PERTANIAN BOGOR 2006
DISAMPAIKAN PADA SEMINAR HARI IBU DISELENGGARAKAN DI BOGOR 19 DESEMBER 2006 OLEH YAYASAN eL-Diina
BAHASAN UTAMA A. PENGANTAR B. FAKTOR UTAMA YG MEMPENGARUHI PERKEMBANGAN ANAK C. SEARAH TEORI “KELEKATAN” D. DAMPAK KELEKATAN THDP KUALITAS HIDUP INDIVIDU E. THE ODYSSEY OF AN IDEA
HOW DO WE BECOME WHO WE ARE ?
WHY DO WE EXIST LIKE WE ARE ?
FAKTOR UTAMA YG MEMPENGARUHI PERKEMBANGAN MANUSIA 2. LINGKUNGAN NURTURE
1. ALAM NATURE KAHLIL GIBRAN : “ THE PROPHET” Your children are not your children They are the son & daughters of life’s longing for itself They come through you but not from you
3. NATURE & NURTURE
W. Makepeace of Thackeray : “WHOSE VALUES SHOULD BE THAUGHT?”
We sow a thought and reap an act We sow an act and reap a habit We sow a habit and reap a character We sow a character and reap a destiny Dorothy Law Nolte : “Children learn what they live with”
CHILDREN ARE A GIFT OF RESPONSIBILITY (The Indonesian Child Welfare Foundation) They should grow and develop physically, mentally & spiritually
They need support, freedom, protection, & understanding
To win their future & the future of mankind
SEJARAH TEORI KELEKATAN • John Bowlby (1951), Penemu teori kelekatan ( Attachment Theory) : It is in our first relationship, that much of our future well-being is determine. • John Bowlby menemukan situasi yg disebut “Maternal Deprivation” (kurangnya kelekatan ibu thdp anak) • Penelitian Experimental pada hewan membawa kpd teori umum “ Monkey Love” : hangat, aman, berkelanjutan • Marie Ainsworth (1960s) menemukan situasi yg disebut “secure attachment” dan beberapa tahapan dalam kelekatan pada bayi
TAHAPAN PERKEMBANGAN KELEKATAN
Undifferentiated attachment : bayi lekat dg semua orang tanpa terkecuali
Differentiated attachment : bayi hanya lekat dg satu/org ttt yg selalu berada di dekatnya dan menolongnya
Anak membentuk “ secure or insecure (anxious) attachment”
TAHAPAN PERKEMBANGAN PSYCHOSOCIAL ERICKSON
TAHAPAN
PERKEMB POSITIF
PERKEMB. NEGATIF
BAYI KANAK2 AWAL USIA BERMAIN USIA SEKOLAH REMAJA DEWASA MUDA DEWASA LANJUT USIA
trust autonomy initiation industry identity intimacy generativity integrity
Mistrust Shame/doubt Guilt Inferiority Identity diffusion Isolation Self absorption despair
From warm & responsive care, infants gain a sense of trust or confidence, that world is good. Mistrust occurs : infants have to wait too long for comport & are handled harshly
DAMPAK KELEKATAN THD KEHIDUPAN INDIVIDU
KARIR
KEBAHAGIAAN
PERSAHABATAN
MORAL & AGAMA
Colorful of life
KEBAHAGIAAN
Beautiful life
Useful life
Joyful of life
IMPACT ATTACHMENT ON LATER LIFE
THE ODYSSEY OF AN IDEA PENGASUHAN SEHAT KUALITAS-KUANTITAS
CEGAH TERBENTUKNYA MASYARAKAT “ABAI”
KEMBALIKAN KEKERABATAN & DUKUNGAN SOSIAL
PERTETANGGAAN & GOTONG ROYONG
MAY THE SEED OF TODAY WILL BE FRUITS OF TOMORROW (FAO)
HEALTHY vs UNHEALTHY PARENTING • Parents is to take care children • Message are clear & understood • Child is always loved, unconditionally • Personal boundaries are respected • All feeling are tolerated • Parent is a teacher & guide
• Children is to take care parents • Double Message, confusing, guessing • Child is loved conditionally • Personal Boundaries are unclear & opten violated • Feeling are opten violated & repressed • Children bring themselves up the best they can
HEALTHY vs UNHEALTHY PARENTING • There are reasonable limit & structure • Demand made on children are age & developmentally appropriate • Children are affirmed regularly & automatically • There is organization & planning, respond to crisis
• There is chaos or extreme rigidity • Child is asked to demonstrate pseudo-maturity or is infantilized • Children are made to feel unworthy & unloved • Family Member respond from one to another crisis (crises don’t exist, create them)
GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research) GAYA OTORITATIF (Democracy) KARAKTERISTIK
• Controlling but flexible • Demanding but Rationale • Warm, self reliant, unique • Values Discipline
PERILAKU ANAK
• • • •
Self Reliant Self Controlled Explorative Content Cooperative
GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research)
GAYA OTORITER (Adult Center) PERILAKU ANAK
KARAKTERISTIK • Strict control by punitive measure • Evaluation of child’s behavior and attitudes with absolute standard • Value obedience • Respect for authority
• • • • •
Discontent Aimless Withdrawn Fearful Distrustful
GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research)
GAYA PERMISSIF (Child Center) KARAKTERISTIK
• Non controlling • Non demanding • Acceptance of child on policies
PERILAKU ANAK
• • • • •
Least Self Reliant Impulsive Aggressive Least Explorative Least self control
PERKEMBANGAN KOMPETENSI ANAK (DARI HARVARD PRESCHOOL PROJECT)
ANAK KOMPETEN • • •
• •
Mendapat perhatian dg cara yg dapat diterima Gunakan org dewasa sbg sumberdaya u berkembang Membangun pertemanan & persahabatan Merencanakan & melaksanakan tugas yg kompleks Gunakan dan mengerti kalimat kompleks
ANAK TDK KOMPETEN • • •
• •
Mendapat perhatian dg cara mengganggu Butuh banyak arahan utk mengerjakan tugas Kesulitan membangun pertemanan Kurang mampu antisipasi konsekuensi Hanya gunakan kalimat sederhana
