THE HIGHLY-MOTIVATED STUDENTS LIVED EXPERIENCE OF COMMUNICATION APPREHENSION AND FEAR OF NEGATIVE EVALUATION. A Thesis Presented to

PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI

THE HIGHLY-MOTIVATED STUDENTS’ LIVED EXPERIENCE OF COMMUNICATION APPREHENSION AND FEAR OF NEGATIVE EVALUATION

A Thesis Presented to The Graduate Program in English Language Studies in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Magister Humaniora (M.Hum) in English Language Studies

by Fika Apriliana 146332006

SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2016

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS First and foremost, I give glory and honor to Almighty God for His blessings, wisdom and guidance for enabling me to complete my master thesis and my study in ELS. I would like to express my sincere gratitude and deep appreciation to my thesis advisor, F.X. Mukarto, Ph.D., for his helpful, warm encouragement as well as his insightful suggestions on my work from the beginning to the end of my thesis. I would like to thank my thesis reviewers who are also my thesis examiners, Dr. J. Bismoko, Dr. E. Sunarto, M.Hum and Dr. B.B. Dwijatmoko., M.A., for their invaluable knowledge and suggestions to improve my thesis. I would like to thank Paulus Kuswandono, Ph.D., the head of ELESP, for the permission to obtain the data from ELESP students. I would also thank all lecturers in ELS for the invaluable knowledge that they shared through teaching and learning process. I would like to thank my beloved parents, my brother and my sisters whose love and encouragement keep me warm and lead me to achieve this dream. To my beloved fiancé, Yohanus Fhani Purnama Adi, you have been a source of inspiration, and the completion of this degree would not have been achieved without your love, patience and support. I am also thankful to all my colleagues in ELS especially batch 2014 for their togetherness and inspiration. The completion of my thesis would not have been possible without the cooperation from my participants, Venita and Petra (pseudonym). I am grateful to them for their willingness to share their memorable and interesting experiences. Finally, I express sincere gratitude to others whose names are not mentioned here. vi


TABLE OF CONTENTS

TITLE PAGE ......................................................................................................i APPROVAL PAGE ............................................................................................ii DEFENSE APPROVAL PAGE..........................................................................iii STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY ...................................................iv LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI....................................v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ................................................................................vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ....................................................................................vii LIST OF TABLES ..............................................................................................xi LIST OF FIGURES ............................................................................................xii LIST OF APPENDICES .....................................................................................xiii LIST OF ABBREVIATION ...............................................................................xiv ABSTRACT ........................................................................................................xv ABSTRAK ............................................................................................................xvii CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ....................................................................1 A. Background of the Study ................................................................................1 B. Problem Delimitation .....................................................................................5 C. Research Formulation.....................................................................................6 D. Research Goal.................................................................................................7 E. Research Benefits ...........................................................................................7 CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW.......................................................9 A. Theoretical Review.........................................................................................9 1.

Motivation ...............................................................................................9 vii


a. Definition of Motivation.....................................................................10 b. Types of Motivation ...........................................................................12 c. Highly-Motivated Students ................................................................16 2.

Foreign Language Anxiety (FLA) ...........................................................16 a. Definition of FLA ...............................................................................17 b. Types of FLA .....................................................................................18 1) Communication Apprehension ......................................................18 2) Fear of Negative Evaluation ..........................................................19 c. Causes of FLA ....................................................................................20 1) Personal and Interpersonal Issues ..................................................21 2) Learner’s Beliefs about Language Learning ..................................22 3) Teacher’s Beliefs about Language Learning .................................22 4) Classroom Characteristics..............................................................23 5) Classmates .....................................................................................24 d. Manifestation of FLA .........................................................................24 e. Students’ Strategies to Cope with FLA ..............................................25 f. Effects of FLA ....................................................................................27

3.

Relationship between Motivation and FLA ............................................27

4.

Lived Experience .....................................................................................29

B. Framework of Pre-Understanding ..................................................................35 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY ................................................................39 A. Research Method ............................................................................................39 B. Nature and Source of Data .............................................................................40 C. Instruments .....................................................................................................41

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1.

Questionnaire for Recruiting Participants ...............................................41

2.

Interview for Investigating Participants’ Lived Experience ...................42

D. Data Collection ...............................................................................................45 E. Data Analysis .................................................................................................47 1.

Data Analysis for Questionnaire .............................................................47

2.

Text Description and Interpretation for In-Depth Interview ...................48

F. Trustworthiness ..............................................................................................51 CHAPTER IV: DESCRIPTION AND INTERPRETATION.......................53 A. Description .....................................................................................................53 1.

Venita’s Story ..........................................................................................54

2.

Petra’s Story ............................................................................................57

B. Interpretation ..................................................................................................60 1.

Struggle with Communication Apprehension (CA) ................................60 a. Causes of CA ......................................................................................60 1) Classroom Activities ......................................................................61 2) Personal Traits ...............................................................................63 3) Beliefs about Language Learning ..................................................64 b. Manifestation of CA ...........................................................................65 1) Physical, Psychological and Behavioral Symptoms ......................65 2) Feeling of Incompetence ................................................................67 3) Perfectionism .................................................................................68 c. Strategies to Cope with CA ................................................................69 1) Relaxation ......................................................................................70 2) Positive Thinking ...........................................................................70

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3) Preparation .....................................................................................71 2.

Struggle with Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) ..................................72 a. Causes of FNE ....................................................................................72 1) Lecturer’s Characteristics ..............................................................72 2) Classmates’ Characteristics ...........................................................73 b. Manifestation of FNE .........................................................................74 1) Physical Symptom .........................................................................74 2) Psychological Symptoms ...............................................................74 c. Strategies to Cope with FNE ..............................................................75 1) Relaxation ......................................................................................75 2) Positive Thinking ...........................................................................75 3) Ignoring ..........................................................................................75

3.

Reasons for Choosing the Coping Strategies ..........................................76

4.

Impacts of the Experience .......................................................................78

CHAPTER V: CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS ..................................................................................81 A. Conclusions ....................................................................................................81 B. Implications ....................................................................................................85 C. Recommendations ..........................................................................................86 BIBLIOGRAPHY ............................................................................................88 APPENDICES ...................................................................................................96

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LIST OF TABLES

Table 3.1. List of Questions as the Interview Guideline ....................................... 43 Table 3.2. Table for Positive and Negative Statements of Motivation, CA and FNE....................................................................................................... 47 Table 3.3. Interpretation of Mean Score Results................................................... 48

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LIST OF FIGURES

Figure 2.1. Construct of the Study ........................................................................ 38 Figure 3.1. Data Collection and Data Analysis ..................................................... 50

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LIST OF APPENDICES

Appendix 1. Adapted Questionnaire ...................................................................96 Appendix 2. Invitation for Interview ..................................................................99 Appendix 3. Surat Permohonan Ijin Penelitian..................................................100 Appendix 4. Questionnaire (Venita) ...................................................................101 Appendix 5. Questionnaire (Petra) ......................................................................103 Appendix 6. Consent Form (Venita) ...................................................................105 Appendix 7. Consent Form (Petra) .....................................................................106 Appendix 8. In-Depth Interview Transcript 1 (Venita) ......................................107 Appendix 9. In-Depth Interview Transcript 2 (Venita) ......................................118 Appendix 10. In-Depth Interview Transcript 3 (Venita) ....................................121 Appendix 11. In-Depth Interview Transcript 1 (Petra) .......................................123 Appendix 12. In-Depth Interview Transcript 2 (Petra) .......................................132 Appendix 13. In-Depth Interview Transcript 3 (Petra) .......................................135

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LIST OF ABBREVIATION

CA

: Communication Apprehension

EM

: Extrinsic Motivation

ELS

: English Language Studies

FL

: Foreign Language

FLA

: Foreign Language Anxiety

FLCAS

: Foreign Language Learning Anxiety Scale

FNE

: Fear of Negative Evaluation

IM

: Intrinsic Motivation

INTRVW

: Interview

WPI

: Work Preference Inventory

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ABSTRACT Fika Apriliana. 2016. The Highly-Motivated Students’ Lived Experience of Communication Apprehension and Fear of Negative Evaluation. Yogyakarta: The Graduate Program in English Language Studies, Sanata Dharma University. A series of research undertaken have revealed some interesting aspects regarding the importance of motivation and the existence of Foreign Language Anxiety (FLA) which can hinder students to learn foreign languages. Previous research has been done showing that the number of students who experience FLA is amazing. Students with high motivation are not the exception. In the foreign language learning, it is highly likely that they also experience FLA. It is interesting to find out how students who are closely associated with language achievement and considered as successful learners experience FLA handle it and give meaning to it. In this study, the type of FLA was delimited into Communication Apprehension (CA) and Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) since they are factors contributing to students’ oral communication in the classroom. Therefore, this study was conducted to find the scientific truth of the highlymotivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE specifically by describing and interpreting their lived experience of CA and FNE. This study was a hermeneutic phenomenological study since it was an interpretive study of the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE. The data gathered for completing the study was in the form of texts including anecdotes. The texts represented the participants’ lived experience and their reflection on their experience. The texts were obtained from two second-year ELESP students through in-depth interviews. The texts were interpreted thematically by using van Manen’s (1990) approach named selective reading approach. The trustworthiness of the study was supported by the suitability of the participants’ criteria with the criteria set for the study, the validity of the instruments and member checking. The results of my study were the description of the participants’ stories and the interpretation of their lived experience. Four major themes appeared to best reflect the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE. The four major themes were: (1) struggle with communication apprehension (CA), (2) struggle with fear of negative evaluation (FNE), (3) reasons for choosing the coping strategies and (4) impacts of the experience. Both participants experienced CA as well as FNE when they had to speak in front of the class. Classroom activities, participants’ personal traits and participants’ beliefs were found to be factors causing their CA, while the external factors such as the lecturers and classmates were found to be factors causing their FNE. The situations were indeed complex phenomena. It included the participants' physical, psychological, and behavioral aspects. Experiencing CA and FNE meant that the participants’ selfconfidence was challenged and that the participants experienced a sense of being blocked by their negative thoughts of feelings of incompetence, by fear of making mistakes and by fear of negatively evaluated by the lecturer and the classmates. The participants made efforts to turn away from physical symptoms by taking a xv


deep breath. They also made effort to turn their negative thoughts into the positive ones by believing their own competence. Further, one participant made preparations before her presentation. Interestingly, both participants tried to ignore the thought that they would be negatively evaluated by their classmates. Motivation seemed to have important roles in helping the participants cope with CA and FNE in that their reasons of chosing coping strategies were related to their motivation. About the impacts of the experience, the experience brought positive impacts to one participant. For the other participant, the experience brought a positive impact as well as a negative impact. This study provided scientific, practical and humanistic benefits. Scientifically, the findings of the study contributed to the body of knowledge in English Language Studies (ELS). Practically, the findings of the study implied that educators and students should be aware of the existence of CA and FNE in teaching and learning process. Thus, educators were expected to help students cope with anxiety-provoking situations for example by helping students recognize their beliefs, being aware of factors related to educators that could trigger students’ FNE, reassuring that their students had learning goals and giving extrinsic reward if it was necessary. Humanistically, the study presented findings that were expected to promote empathic understanding of participants’ lived experience of CA and FNE. Moreover, this understanding was expected to lead to self-actualization which occurs when people realize their own maximum potential and capabilities. Keywords: lived experience, motivation, foreign communication apprehension, fear of negative evaluation

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language

anxiety,


ABSTRAK Fika Apriliana. 2016. Pengalaman Hidup Mahasiswa dengan Motivasi Tinggi dalam Menghadapi Kecemasan Berkomunikasi dan Kecemasan terhadap Evaluasi Negatif. Yogyakarta: Program Kajian Bahasa Inggris, Universitas Sanata Dharma. Penelitian-penelitian yang telah dilakukan menunjukkan beberapa aspek menarik berkaitan dengan pentingnya motivasi and keberadaan kecemasan berbahasa asing yang dapat mengganggu mahasiswa dalam belajar bahasa asing. Penelitian-penelitian yang telah dilakukan sebelumnya menunjukkan bahwa jumlah mahasiswa yang mengalami kecemasan dalam berbahasa asing sangatlah menakjubkan. Mahasiswa yang mempunyai motivasi tinggi tidak luput dari hal ini. Di dalam kelas bahasa asing, mereka juga cenderung mengalami kecemasan dalam berbahasa asing. Akan sangat menarik jika dapat mengetahui bagaimana mereka mengalami, menghadapi dan memaknai kecemasan mereka. Dalam penelitian ini, tipe kecemasan berbahasa asing hanya difokuskan pada kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi dan kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif karena tipe-tipe kecemasan tersebut adalah tipe-tipe kecemasan yang erat kaitannya dengan komunikasi lisan di dalam kelas. Untuk itu penelitian ini dilakukan untuk menemukan kebenaran saintifik tentang pengalaman hidup mahasiswa dengan motivasi tinggi dalam menghadapi kecemasan berbahasa asing khususnya dengan mendeskripsikan dan menginterpretasikan pengalaman hidup mereka dalam menghadapi kecemasan berbahasa asing. Penelitian ini merupakan penelitian fenomenologi hermeneutika karena penelitian ini merupakan penelitian interpretasi tentang pengalaman hidup mahasiswa dengan motivasi tinggi dalam menghadapi kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi dan kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif. Data didapatkan dalam bentuk teks termasuk anekdot. Teks merepresentasikan pengalaman partisipan dan refleksi mereka terhadap pengalaman yang telah mereka lalui. Partisipan merupakan dua mahasiswa Program Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris Universitas Sanata Dharma. Teks didapat melalui wawancara mendalam antara peneliti dan partisipan. Selanjutnya teks diinterpretasikan dengan menggunakan analisa yang berfokus pada tema. Data di dalam penelitian ini dapat diyakini kebenarannya karena didukung oleh kecocokan partisipan dengan kriteria penelitian, validitas instrumen penelitian dan konfirmasi ulang kepada partisipan. Hasil dari penelitian ini adalah deskripsi tentang pengalaman hidup para partisipan dan interpretasi pengalaman hidup mereka. Empat tema utama yang muncul adalah: (1) perjuangan menghadapi kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi, (2) perjuangan dalam menghadapi kecemasan terhadap penelitian negatif, (3) alasanalasan di balik pemilihan strategi untuk menghadapi kecemasan-kecemasan tersebut dan (4) dampak pengalaman hidup partisipan kepada partisipan itu sendiri. Masing-masing partisipan mengalami kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi dan kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif saat masing-masing dari mereka harus berbicara di depan kelas. Aktivitas kelas, sifat-sifat pribadi partisipan dan keyakinan mereka dalam pembelajaran bahasa asing merupakan faktor-faktor yang menyebabkan kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi. Keberadaan dosen dan xvii


teman kelas merupakan faktor-faktor yang menyebabkan kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif. Situasi yang dihadapi mereka sangatlah kompleks. Mereka merasakan gejala fisik, gejala psikologis dan gejala yang berhubungan dengan perilaku. Mereka merasa kepercayaan mereka diuji. Mereka melihat pengalaman tersebut sebagai pengalaman di mana mereka merasa kesulitan karena terhalang oleh perasaan takut membuat kesalahan dan pikiran negatif mereka terutama pikiran negatif bahwa mereka tidak mampu untuk mengatasi keadaan pada saat itu. Mereka menarik nafas dan menghilangkan pikiran negatif dengan cara berpikir positif bahwa mereka mampu mengatasi situasi pada saat itu. Satu partisipan melakukan persiapan sebelum presentasi. Untuk mengatasi kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif oleh teman kelas, para partisipan berusaha untuk mengabaikan pikiran bahwa mereka akan dievaluasi negatif oleh teman kelas. Motivasi nampaknya memiliki peran penting dalam membantu para partisipan dalam mengatasi kecemasan berkomunikasi dan kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif. Hal tersebut terlihat dari alasan-alasan mereka dalam memilih strategi untuk mengatasi kecemasan mereka. Pengalaman-pengalaman yang dialami membawa dampak positif terhadap salah satu partisipan sedangkan terhadap partisipan lainnya membawa dampak positif sekaligus dampak negatif. Hasil dari penelitian ini diharapkan mampu memberikan keuntungan saintifik, praktis dan humanistik. Secara saintifik, hasil penelitian ini memberikan kontribusi terhadap ilmu pengetahuan di dalam lingkup Kajian Bahasa Inggris. Dalam prakteknya, hasil dari penelitian ini mengindikasikan bahwa pendidik dan mahasiswa seharusnya sadar akan adanya kecemasan berkomunikasi dan kecemasan terhadap penilaian negatif di dalam proses belajar mengajar. Selanjutnya, pendidik diharapkan mampu membantu mahasiswa dalam mengatasi hal-hal tersebut misalnya dengan cara membantu mahasiswa untuk menyadari keyakinan dalam belajar bahasa Inggris, menyadari faktor-faktor yang berasal dari pendidik yang mampu menyebabkan kecemasan mahasiswa, memastikan bahwa setiap mahasiswa memiliki tujuan dalam belajar dan memberikan penghargaan jika dibutuhkan. Secara humanistik, hasil dari penelitian ini diharapkan mampu menciptakan pemahaman empati dan selanjutnya pemahaman empati ini diharapkan dapat mengarah pada aktualisasi diri. Kata kunci: pengalaman hidup, motivasi, kecemasan berbahasa asing, kecemasan dalam berkomunikasi, kecemasan terhadap evaluasi negatif

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CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION This introductory chapter consists of background of the study, problem delimitation, problem formulation, research goal and research benefits. The background section contains the underlying information of the research which shows the readers the importance of the issues under study. The scope of the study should be delimited and therefore is stated in the problem delimitation. The research question which is the focus of this research is formulated and can be found in the problem formulation section. The next section is research goal which is closely related to the research question. In the end of this chapter, the research benefits section describes the scientific and practical benefits of the study. A.

Background of the Study I remember one day in the middle of a course that I took in my graduate

study, my lecturer asked a question, “What is the difference between learning and acquisition?” What happened was none of the students answered. That situation perhaps would make my lecturer think, “Does the silence mean they do not have any idea, does the silence mean they are thinking or does the silence actually show the fights in the students’ minds whether to give answer or not?” I–as one of the students in that class–would say that it was about the fight in mind. I knew the concept and wanted to answer, but I hesitated. This fight happened in my mind, “Is my answer correct? What will my lecturer and other friends think if I give incorrect answer?” I was anxious of being negatively evaluated by my lecturer and friends. Finally, I just kept my mouth closed and did not give the answer. 1


This fight in mind happened not in one course only. In another course, my lecturer asked me and my friends to actively participate in every group discussion. Moreover, in this course, my lecturer employed participation grade. He would give additional grades for the students who shared their ideas. One day, the discussion was on what we would do if our beliefs as a teacher were different with the beliefs of institution where we worked. I thought about the answer then formulated good statements to represent my ideas. Again and again, I was a little bit hesitant to speak out my ideas. I was not confident enough and afraid of what others would think of my ideas. My heart beat faster, but then I was eager for participating in the group discussions because of the grade I would get. I took a deep breath, then finally I raised my hand and spoke out my ideas. My struggles above were two-real examples of situations when I experienced language anxiety. In my first story, my anxiety caused me to remain silent in the class. I was failed in handling my anxiety. However, sometimes like in my second story, I could cope with my anxiety successfully. At that time, I was motivated by the grade I could get. I am quite sure that these kinds of struggle not only happened to me but also happened to the most students. Unfortunately, Oxford (1999) states the idea that my first reaction–being silent or giving up–is more frequent than my second reaction found in mostly students when they experienced language anxiety. Anxiety can be simply defined as “worrying or fear feeling.” Many people feel nervous when they are speaking because they may feel anxious inside their hearts. Anxiety is often viewed as a possible stumbling block to the language learning process. Some students may be reluctant to deliver their opinion in

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classroom because they feel worry. Horwitz, Horwitz and Cope (1986, p. 124) define anxiety as “the subjective feeling of tension, apprehension, nervousness and worry associated with the arousal of the nervous system.” A study from Worde (1998) in Zheng (2008) showed that one third to a half of students examined were reported to experience high levels of language anxiety. It shows that the number of students who report that they are anxious language learners is amazing. In addition, according to McCroskey (1984), even at higher levels of proficiency, many students may experience some level of fear and anxiety when asked to communicate, especially in public. According to Horwitz et al. (1986, p. 126), in the foreign language context, “anxiety centers on the two basic task requirements: listening and speaking, and difficulty in speaking in class is probably the most frequently cited concern of the anxious foreign language students.” Some researchers have revealed that anxiety can impede foreign language production and achievement (Horwitz et al., 1986; MacIntyre & Gardner, 1991, 1994). Specifically, MacIntyre & Gardner (1991, p. 86) claim that “language anxiety is experienced by learners of both foreign and second language and causes potential problem as it can interfere with the acquisition, retention and production of the new language.” Investigating further into my second experience, I could find another variable which was motivation in my process of making the decision. At that time, I was motivated by the participation grade employed by my lecturer. Grade actually was also one form of motivation. Richard (1994, p. 4) states that “motivation is concerned with one’s reasons for learning the language, the strategies used to achieve these goals, the effort put into learning and one’s ability

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to sustain that effort.” Motivation has frequently been reported to be the most critical factor for success in the language learning process. Motivation has been widely accepted by teachers and researchers as one of the key factors influencing the success of language learning (Ely, 1986; Dornyei, 1994; Williams & Burden, 1997 in Li & Pan, 2005). Brown (2007) states that motivation is a star player in the cast of characters connected to language learning around the world. It plays an important role of success and failure. According to the Affective Filter hypothesis proposed by Krashen (1987), both motivation and anxiety are important affective variables that may function as affective filter and influence comprehensible input in the process of acquiring a language. Affective factors are defined as “those that deal with the emotional response and motivations of the learner” (Scovel, 1978 in Tanveer, 2007). It is well established that second or foreign language learning is often associated with affective factors, among which the constructs of anxiety and motivation have been recognized as important predictors of second or foreign language achievement. Learning more about the affective factors that may influence the process of language acquisition and lead to ineffectual learning is crucial to prevent an atmosphere that not only frustrates the teachers, but also causes anxiety for students. Numerous empirical studies have focused on the relationship between motivation and anxiety. The researchers have found language anxiety is negatively related to language motivation (Gardner et al., 1987; Hashimoto, 2002; Tsai & Chang, 2013; Liu & Cheng, 2014; Tahernezhad, Behjat & Kargar, 2014). Motivation was also shown to be served as a significant predictor of learner

4


anxiety. Clement, Dornyei and Noels (1994) found that learners who are more motivated to learn are usually less anxious learners who have better previous experiences, who evaluate their own proficiency more highly, and who consider the learning tasks as less difficult. According to Noels, Clement and Pelletier (2001), the more learners feel amotivated, the less effort they will expand and the more anxiety they will feel. However, it should not be the end of the investigation. The important point is to explore the role of these affective filters altogether in teaching and learning process. As a language learner who had experienced anxious feelings aroused by language learning situations and as a future teacher of English, I had always been interested in exploring the role of affective factors in general and of motivation and anxiety in particular. In this study, I went deeper exploring the motivated students’ lived experience of anxiety and the meaning of the experience to them. To the best of my knowledge, no published study had been yet conducted to explore the issue. Since it was the study of lived experience, the study was a phenomenological study in nature. B.

Problem Delimitation Learning a foreign language required the students’ motivation to be

successful. It was worth noticing that students’ levels of motivation varied between one and another. In my study, I focused on students who are highly motivated since they were strongly related to high achievement, and therefore could be considered as successful students. Exploring their lived experience of language anxiety was a beneficial thing to do since they might provide useful self-

5


reflection and guideline for other students who had similar problem and still found out the best way to be successful in language learning. Considering that the study was conducted in the foreign language context, I specified the kind of anxiety into what is so-called Foreign Language Anxiety (FLA). Horwitz et al. (1986, p. 128) define FLA as “a distinct set of beliefs, perceptions, and feelings in response to foreign language learning in the classroom and not merely a composite of other anxieties.” FLA is unique since it happened in foreign language classroom which requires the learners to communicate or use a language which they have not mastered perfectly (Keramida, 2009). Furthermore, Horwitz et al. (1986) and Cubukcu (2007) identify three main types of FLA. The three types are communication apprehension (CA), test anxiety (TA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE). Cubukcu (2007, p. 128) defines CA as “a type of shyness characterized by fear of and anxiety about communicating with people”. TA refers to “a type of performance anxiety stemming from a fear of failure” (Horwitz et al., 1986, p. 127). FNE is defined as “apprehension about others’ evaluations, avoidance of evaluative situations and the expectation that others will evaluate them negatively” (Horwitz et al., 1986, p. 128). In this study, I focused on CA and FNE since they are factors influencing to students’ oral communication in the classroom. C.

Problem Formulation Considering the importance of the issue being studied, this study attempted

to answer the following research questions:

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What is the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of communication apprehension and fear of negative evaluation? D.

Research Goal The research goal of this study was closely related to the research question

of this study. By conducting this study, I aimed at finding the scientific truth of the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of communication apprehension (CA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE) specifically by describing and interpreting their lived experience of CA and FNE. E.

Research Benefits My study of the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and

FNE was expected to provide scientific, practical and humanistic benefits. Scientifically, the description and interpretation of the result would contribute to the body of knowledge in English Language Studies (ELS). The scientific contribution would lead to practical benefits which was related to efficiency or productivity. Practically, the finding of this study might help English-medium institution such as ELS to understand the individual difference, to understand the psychological process of learning foreign language and to come up with effective teaching methods to control students’ affective filter. Therefore, these practical benefits would promote equity in the classroom. Learning equity was highly needed to ensure that language learners got a fair opportunity at learning. Humanistically, the study presented findings that promoted empathic understanding of the participants’ lived experience of CA and FNE. This is what

7


phenomenological psychology is about–“rich description of people’s experiences, so that we can understand them in new, subtle and different ways and then use this new knowledge to make a difference to the lived world of ourselves and others” (Langdridge, 2007, p. 9). This understanding was expected to lead to selfactualization which occurs when people realize their own maximum potential and capabilities.

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CHAPTER II LITERATURE REVIEW This chapter will be divided into two sections. The first section is the theoretical review which will provide a comprehensive knowledge of the field of this study. By reviewing the related theories, the construct map can be theoretically generated. The construct map serves as the basis for the framework of pre-understanding which will be provided in the second section of this chapter. The framework of pre-understanding functions as the rationale to predict the relationships among variables of this study and to describe this study in the whole picture. A.

Theoretical Review This section presents my review of published information of some relevant

theories and previous studies related to the topic of my study. In this section, I review the theories and previous studies’ findings of: (1) motivation, (2) foreign language anxiety (FLA) including communication apprehension (CA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE), (3) relationship between motivation and FLA and (4) lived experience. 1.

Motivation In this section, I review the theories and previous studies’ findings of

motivation. This section is divided into 3 smaller sections: (a) definition of motivation, (b) types of motivation and (c) highly-motivated students.

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a.

Definition of Motivation “Motivation is concerned with one’s reasons for learning the language, the

strategies used to achieve these goals, the effort put into learning and one’s ability to sustain that effort” (Richards, 1994, p. 4). Motivation has frequently been reported to be the most critical factor for success in the language learning process. Motivation has been widely accepted by teachers and researchers as one of the key factors influencing the success of language learning (Ely, 1986; Dornyei, 1994; Williams & Burden, 1997 in Li & Pan, 2005). Brown (2007) states that motivation is a star player in the cast of characters connected to language learning around the world. It plays an important role of success and failure. Motivation helps students get started. Sometimes, it will be hard for students to start learning new knowledge and new skills of language through new subjects in a new semester. Many questions will appear in students’ mind. Motivation helps students get started because motivation involves the student’s reason for attempting to acquire the language (Schumann, 1986). Therefore, realizing the reason can help students to set the goal and plan strategies to achieve the goal. Motivation helps students keep moving in language learning process. Since motivated students have an effort put into learning and also have ability to sustain that effort, the students can face difficulties and challenges in the process of learning. Moreover, Hedge (2000, p. 23) emphasizes that “motivation is crucial in the classroom, whether learners arrive with it or whether they acquire it through classroom experience.” Motivation escorts the process of learning. Motivation makes students do more than necessary. Motivation leads students to have an effort to achieve the goals, consciously or unconsciously

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students will do better and more than necessary. The students will explore and use all their knowledge and skills in language learning process. Reece and Walker (1997) express that a less capable student who is highly motivated can achieve a greater success than the more intelligent student who is not well motivated. Motivation makes the journey fun. Students who do not have motivation might think that the journey to succeed is long and difficult. Differently, students who are motivated will see the long journey as an enjoyable travel. Donald (2008) argues that motivation enables students to endure such difficult times. A motivated individual will enjoy learning the language and will strive to learn the language (Gardner, 1985). In language learning, “motivation determines the extent of active, personal involvement in language learning” (Oxford & Shearin, 1994, p. 121). Motivation leads the students to be self-directed. A highly-motivated student begins to want a greater responsibility for their own learning. “Self-directed students gradually gain greater involvement and proficiency” (Oxford, 1990, p. 10). Motivation has a strong effect on students’ achievement in numerous studies. Bank and Finlapson (1980) concluded that successful students were found to have significantly higher motivation for achievement than unsuccessful students did. Clement, Dornyei and Noels (1994) revealed that achievement in English language of Hungarian students was significantly related to motivational indices. Johnson (1996) found that academic achievement was highly correlated with students’ motivation. A quantitative study done by Sikhwari (2007) at the University of Venda in South Africa, suggested that highly motivated students tried to achieve academic success through attending classes regularly and

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participating in class discussions, which resulted in their getting higher marks in tests and examination. b.

Types of Motivation Harmer (1998) mentions that motivation can be separated into two main

types: intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation are two major types with which college students are engaged in the process of learning language. Intrinsic motivation basically comes from the students themselves such as their own goals and the needs to learn (e.g. I have direction and goals in learning English, I want my study provides me with opportunities to develop my knowledge and skills in English). If you are motivated intrinsically, it means that you are doing something because you want to do it or because you make your own choice to do it. Deci and Ryan (2000, p. 56) state that “intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for inherent satisfactions rather than for some separable consequences.” Dev (1997) views that student who are intrinsically motivated will not need any type of reward or incentive to complete a task. This type of student is more likely to complete the chosen task and triggered by the challenging nature of an activity. While extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the students such as parents, environment and class condition. “Extrinsic motivation is a construct that pertains whenever an activity is done in order to attain some separable outcome” (Deci & Ryan, 2000, p. 60). Extrinsic motivation thus contrast with intrinsic motivation. For students, extrinsic motivation variable is the sum of a recognition, grades, and competition in learning (Wigfield, 1997). As suggested by Best, Rulison, Davidson and Welsh (2008), grade was regarded as tangible reward, 12


while good academic reputation, praise and recognition from others were regarded as intangible reward. Ormrod (2008) says that both types of motivation may not have exactly the same effect on student learning and performance at the college level. Deci and Ryan (1985) claim that learners who are intrinsically motivated rather than extrinsically motivated are likely to become more successful and effective learners. Students who are intrinsically motivated to learn are still believed to be more persistent in language learning, and this persistence contributes to students’ achievement. According to Ushioda (1996), students who are intrinsically motivated can experience greater pleasure and emotional involvement because the rewards generated from intrinsic motivation are usually positive feelings such as enjoyment, pleasure, satisfaction, and self-indulgence and students can be always motivated by those internal rewards from the learning itself to persist learning. While for students who are extrinsically motivated, they “may work efficiently in the short term in response to external rewards and incentives, but their motivation is unlikely to sustain itself autonomously if the learning experience does not generate internal or intrinsic rewards” (ibid, p. 22). Those students who work for extrinsic rewards are comparatively passive because if the external reinforcement is not available, they have no reason to do it and they may remain stagnant. Even, these students may give up learning once the external pressure no longer exists (Noels, Clement & Pelletier, 2001). The key of extrinsic motivation is a reward, which can either be tangible or intangible. For example, if students excel, they will attain a good academic reputation, receive praise and recognition from their significant others which are

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regarded as intangible rewards. Students who are perceived as having a good academic reputation may often be asked for academic help and are associated with students who excel (Gest et al., 2008). Deci and Ryan (1985) found that using rewards in an academic setting resulted in a significant improvement in students’ motivational levels. Moneta and Spada (2009) suggest that individuals who are extrinsically motivated by an expected reward increase their effort to complete the task and earn an incentive. Besides the controversy of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, Lumsden and Linda (1994) investigated that passion to learn seemed to shrink as children grew. As children grow, learning sometimes becomes compulsion than pleasure. The similar idea is revealed by Goldberg (1994) in Broussard (2002), who points out that an intrinsic orientation toward education switches to a more extrinsic orientation as children increase in age. On the contrary, Zemke and Zemke (1988) argue that there is transition from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation in the college classroom. The students need to come to class to learn because learning is intrinsically motivating, rewarding, exciting and of real benefit to the students. Research on adult learners indicated that learners are most motivated when they see relevance to their learning, engage in the learning process and feel that they can meet their interests and needs (ibid). It should be noted that some studies have found significant relationship between specific types of motivation and academic achievement. Intrinsic motivation was found to have a significant effect on students learning and performance in an empirical study (Deci et al., 2004). Several studies have shown positive correlations between intrinsic motivation and academic achievement (e.g.

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Gottfried, 1985, 1990; Harter & Connell, 1984; Henderlong & Lepper, 1997; Lloyd & Barenblatt, 1984). Afzal, Ali, Khan and Hamid (2010) found that students who were intrinsically motivated performed much better academically than students who were extrinsically motivated. Extrinsically motivated students might perform very well in one semester or quiz to achieve a certain reward or goal and then next semester might show poor performance because the reward did not exist anymore. Their performance did not remain constant as a result. While, intrinsically motivated students were truly interested in learning and in achieving high goals. Their overall performance was consistent. On the other hand, recent research conducted to with college-student populations revealed that students who had high extrinsic motivation had positive achievement (Barron & Harrackiewicz, 2001; Elliot & McGregor, 2001; Harackiewicz, Barron, Pintrich, Elliot, & Trash, 2002 in Lepper, Corpus & Iyengar, 2005). Students who were particularly focused on the extrinsic consequences of their behaviors did particularly well on objective indicators of performance. A study conducted amongst students in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, found that factors leading to academic achievement occurred interactively (DassBrailsford, 2005). For example, family pressure might contribute to a decrease in students’ motivational levels. However, students who were highly intrinsically motivated might counteract these negative factors from their families (ibid, 2005). Muller and Louw (2004) assert that extrinsic factors, such as a supportive social environment can foster intrinsic motivation. Davis, Muller and Middleton (2006) state that intrinsic and extrinsic variables are likely to interact with each other to support an individual in reaching their desired targets.

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c.

Highly-Motivated Students Previously, I have presented the definition of motivation by Richard (1994).

Richard (1994, p. 4) states that “motivation is concerned with one’s reasons for learning the language, the strategies used to achieve these goals, the effort put into learning and one’s ability to sustain that effort.” From this definition, it can be inferred that highly-motivated students have their own reasons or goals in language learning, employ some strategies used to achieve their goals and put a big effort to achieve their goals. A highly-motivated student wants a greater responsibility for their own learning (Oxford, 1990). Self-directed students gradually gain greater involvement and proficiency. Motivation has strong effect on students’ achievement in numerous studies. Bank and Finlapson (1980) concluded that successful students were found to have significantly higher motivation for achievement than unsuccessful students did. Gottfried (1985) explains that students who were reported to have high academic intrinsic motivation had significantly high school achievement. Also, some previous research on college-student populations uncovered that students who had high extrinsic motivation had positive achievement (Barron & Harrackiewicz, 2001; Elliot & McGregor, 2001; Harackiewicz, Barron, Pintrich, Elliot, & Trash, 2002 in Lepper, Corpus & Iyengar, 2005). 2.

Foreign Language Anxiety (FLA) In this section, I review the theories and previous studies’ findings of FLA.

This section is divided into 6 smaller sections: (a) definition of FLA, (b) types of

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FLA, (c) causes of FLA, (d) manifestation of FLA, (e) students’ strategies to cope with FLA and (f) effects of FLA. a.

Definition of FLA Teachers and students generally feel that anxiety is a major obstacle to

overcome in learning to speak another language. In order to understand FLA, it is important to first consider the definition of FLA. Horwitz, Horwitz, and Cope (1986) were the first to treat FLA as a separate and distinct phenomenon particular to language learning. According to Horwitz et al. (1986, p. 128), FLA is “a distinct complex of self-perceptions, feelings and behaviors related to classroom learning arising from the uniqueness of the language learning process.”. In a similar vein, Oh (1992) in Wang (2005, p. 16) perceives FLA as a situationspecific anxiety students experience in the classroom, which is characterized by “negative self-centered thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, and emotional reactions.” Batumlu and Erden (2007) in Worku (2008, p. 10) add that “FLA is different from all kinds of anxiety because it is a distinct complex of selfperceptions, feelings and behaviors related to language learning process.” Here, the students who feel anxious are caused by the foreign language learning process. Moreover, “foreign language learning process is seen as a unique process because learners are required to communicate or use a language which they have not mastered perfectly” (Keramida, 2009, p. 39). In other words, the worry and negative emotional reaction aroused when the students are learning or using a foreign language that they do not have full competence. For many learners, learning English as a foreign language can make them feel anxious and worried 17


because English is something new for them. They have to use or communicate using English that they have not mastered perfectly. b.

Types of FLA Horwitz et al. (1986) identified three related performance anxieties. They

are communication apprehension (CA), test anxiety (TA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE), which are believed to “provide useful conceptual building blocks for a description of foreign language anxiety” (Horwitz et al., 1986, p. 128). In the following part, I review two types of FLA used in this study. 1)

Communication Apprehension (CA) McCroskey (1977, p. 28) defines CA as “an individual’s level of fear or

anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons.” Meanwhile, Cubukcu (2007, p. 128) defines CA as “a type of shyness characterized by fear of and anxiety about communicating with people.” Horwitz et al. (1986, p. 127) state that “difficulty in speaking in dyads or groups (oral communication anxiety) or in public (“stage fright”) or in listening to or learning a spoken message (receiver anxiety) are all manifestation of CA.” Gregersen and Horwitz (2002, p. 562) elaborate more by saying people whose typical CA is high tend to encounter even greater difficulty communicating in a foreign language class where they have little control of the communicative situation; there exists a disparity between learners’ mature thoughts and their immature foreign language proficiency, and their performance is constantly monitored. Horwitz et al. (1986, p. 127) state that the inability to express oneself fully or to understand others not only lead to frustration and apprehension in typical apprehensive communicators but also make many otherwise talkative people become silent in a foreign language class. 18


A study by Nor and Normazla (2008) found that the participants of their study experienced the highest level of CA when participating in meetings, interpersonal communication and public speaking. Their study also revealed that the major causes of CA were the personality trait of the students and their inability to pronounce English words correctly. Likewise, Pappamihiel (2002) in her paper wrote that students who come in with fewer language skills tend to be more nervous and anxious about learning the English language. Therefore, anxiety is viewed as a possible stumbling block to the language learning process of these students. Another study conducted in Puerto Rico by Lucas (1984) revealed that only 115 students were found to experience CA when speaking using their mother tongue, Spanish. However, these students were found to display high CA (43%) when speaking in English. A similar study conducted by McCroskey (1984) in Japan found that three-fourths of the samples were classified as having high levels of CA in both Japanese and English. Finally, in a study conducted by Shameem and Siti (2006) in Tom et al. (2013), the researchers found that more than half of their subjects were afraid of using English due to poor proficiency in the language. They also found that the subjects had high levels of CA when using the language to communicate. Similar to Nor and Normazla’s (2008) study, they also discovered that one of the main factors causing CA was personality trait. 2)

Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) Fear of negative evaluation (FNE) is defined as “apprehension about others’

evaluations, avoidance of evaluative situations and the expectation that others will evaluate them negatively” (Horwitz et al., 1986, p. 128). From the definition of fear of negative evaluation, it can be concluded that many learners seem to be 19


sensitive when they are evaluated by others because they are afraid of having negative evaluations. Consequently, learners who are highly concerned about the impressions of others form them to behave in ways that minimize the possibility of negative evaluations (Gregersen & Horwitz, 2002). In foreign language classrooms, students with FNE tend to "sit passively in the classroom, withdrawing from classroom activities that could otherwise enhance their improvement of the language skills" or even "cutting class to avoid anxiety situations" (Aida, 1994, p. 157). Young (1991) found that anxious learners thought their skills in language were weaker than their peers’ and they were looking down at them. A study from Hilleson (1996) showed that the awareness of performing badly in English seemed to indicate a loss of self-esteem. The students were aware that their performance was being evaluated by their peers and teachers, which made them very anxious in learning. c.

Causes of FLA Research has indicated a number of ways that learning a foreign language

can cause anxiety for language learners. Tallon (2008) comprehensively summarize three main sources of FLA. They are learner’s characteristics, teacher’s characteristics and classroom’s characteristics. In addition, classmates also act as the source of main source of FLA (Horwitz et al., 1986). Learner’s characteristics include personal and interpersonal issues and learner’s beliefs about language learning. Teacher’s characteristics include teacher’s beliefs about language teaching which determine teacher-learner interactions.

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1)

Personal and Interpersonal Issues Several other researchers argued that low competitiveness and self-esteem

are the two significant sources of learner anxiety. Bailey (1983) studied the diary entries of 11 students and reported that competitiveness can lead to anxiety when language learners compare themselves to others or to an idealized self-image. Likewise, Price (1991) found that the majority of her subjects believed their language skills to be weaker than those of the others in class that they weren't doing a good job and that everyone else looked down on them. As regards to self-esteem, Hembree (1988) in Linh (2011) implies that students who start out with a self-perceived low ability level in a foreign or second language are most likely to experience language anxiety. Krashen (1987) also suggests that anxiety can arise according to one's degree of self-esteem as those students tend to worry about what their peers or friends think, in fear of their negative responses or evaluation. Anxiety was, moreover, related to self-confidence gained as a result of perceived communicative competence (Clement, 1980). Lack of anxiety is thus viewed as a predictor of self-confidence characterizing motivated language learners. Another personality trait that has a positive correlation with FLA is shyness Chu (2008) in Zhang (2010). Chu (2008) in Zhang (2010) affirms that anxiety, unwillingness to communicate and shyness function together to create a negative impact on Taiwanese students’ in studying English.

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2)

Learner’s Beliefs about Language Learning Learner’s beliefs about language learning can also be associated with

anxiety (Horwitz et al., 1986; Horwitz, 1988, 1989; Price, 1991; Young, 1991). Horwitz's study (1988) in Young (1991, p. 428) revealed that the students: (1) expressed great concern over the correctness of their utterances, (2) placed a great deal of stress on speaking with "an excellent accent", (3) supported the notion that language learning is primarily translating from English (4) believed that two years is enough time to become fluent in another language and (5) believed some people were more able to learn a foreign language than others. In addition, many students also believed that learning a second language primarily involved memorizing vocabulary words and grammatical rules. According to Tallon (2008, p. 4), “when students’ unrealistic expectations about language learning are not met, the situation can lead to negative feelings about one’s intelligence and abilities.” Such unrealistic beliefs like what Horwitz (1988) found may make the students later become disappointed and frustrated. I conclude that unrealistic beliefs may make students have unrealistic expectations about language learning process, thus leading to anxiety. In addition, Palacios (1998) in Tallon (2008, p. 5) found that the following beliefs are associated with FLA. They are (1) the feeling that mastering a language is an overwhelming task, (2) the feeling that one needs to go through a translation process in order to communicate in the target language, (3) the difficulty of keeping everything in one’s head and (4) the belief that learning a language is easier at an earlier age. 3)

Teacher’s Beliefs about Language Teaching Teacher’s beliefs about language teaching determine the teacher-learner

interactions. They are further possible sources of language anxiety because the teacher's assumption about the role of language teachers may not always

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correspond to the student's needs or expectations toward him or her (Ohata, 2005 in Linh, 2011). Young (1991) identifies the following teacher beliefs which have been shown to evoke feelings of anxiety in students: (1) it is necessary for the teacher to be intimidating at times, (2) the instructor is supposed to correct every single mistake made by the students, (3) group or partner work is not appropriate because it can get out of control, (4) the teacher should do most of the talking and (5) the instructor’s role is that of a drill sergeant. Besides, Palacios (1998) in Tallon (2008) found the following characteristics of the teacher to be associated with anxiety. They are absence of teacher support, unsympathetic personalities, lack of time for personal attention, favoritism, absence that the class does not provide students with the tools necessary to match up with the teacher’s expectations and the sense of being judged by the teacher or wanting to impress the teacher. A judgmental teaching attitude (Samimy, 1994 in Linh, 2011) and a harsh manner of teaching (Aida, 1994) are closely linked to student fear in the classroom. In addition, Ando (1999) in Linh (2011, p. 41) argues that “having a native speaker for a teacher can cause anxiety because the teacher may lack the sensitivity of the learning process or the teacher’s English may be hard for students to understand.” 4)

Classroom Characteristics Young (1991) propose a list of classroom activities which are perceived as

anxiety-provoking: (1) spontaneous role play in front of the class, (2) speaking in front of the class, (3) oral presentations or skits in front of the class, (4) presenting a prepared dialogue in front of the class and (5) writing work on the board. Similarly, Palacios (1998) in Tallon (2008, p. 6) found that “demands of oral 23


production, feelings of being put on the spot, the pace of the class, and the element of being evaluated (i.e., fear of negative evaluation) to be anxietyproducing to students.” Young (1999) emphasizes that putting the learner “on the spot” in front of their classmates without allowing adequate preparation is also source of anxiety for many students. Moreover, Oxford (1999) emphasizes learning and teaching styles as a potential source of language anxiety. If the teacher’s teaching style and a student’s learning style are not compatible, “style wars” can trigger or heighten anxiety levels. 5)

Classmates According to Horwitz et al. (1986), anxiety especially FNE is triggered not

only by the teacher as a fluent speaker but also the classmates. Koch and Terrell (1991) similarly state that speaking in front of the peers is another source of anxiety in learning a foreign language. In her study, Young (1990) investigated the students’ perspectives on anxiety and speaking. The result of her study revealed that, in a language class, the students felt most anxious when they had to speak in front of their peers. Horwitz et al. (1986) suggest that language classrooms are threatening in part because students are often required to communicate in front of their peers in an unfamiliar language and are often publicly evaluated while doing so. d.

Manifestation of FLA According to Oxford (1999, p. 66), anxiety in general and FLA in particular

can have “physical, psychological and behavioral manifestation.” The manifestation can differ from one to another. Physical symptoms include bodily reactions such as rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, dry mouth, and excessive 24


perspiration. Psychological symptoms include feelings of helplessness, problems with concentration such as going blank and inability to concentrate, as well as memory difficulties such as poor memory recall and retention. Moreover, behavioral symptoms include physical actions such as squirming, fidgeting, playing with hair or clothing nervously touching objects, stuttering or stammering displaying jittery behavior, being unable to reproduce the sounds or intonation of the target language even after repeated practice. More importantly, behavioral symptoms of anxiety can be manifested in negative avoidance behaviors like inappropriate silence, monosyllabic or non-committal responses, lack of eye contact, unwillingness to participate, coming late, arriving unprepared, showing indifference, cutting class, and withdrawal from the course. In addition, other signs might reflect language anxiety depending on the culture. The symptoms are excessive study, perfectionism, hostility, excessive competitiveness, as well as excessive self-effacement and self-criticism (e.g. “I am so stupid”). e.

Students’ Strategies to Cope with FLA Folkman and Moskowitz (2004) claim that coping is accomplished through

the thoughts and behaviors used to manage the internal and external demands of situations that are appraised as stressful. Despite the absence of direct empirical work that deals with strategies that students use to cope with their FLA, extensive research has been done to help students cope with their anxieties in academic setting (Kondo and Ying-Ling, 2004). Generally, three approaches to the alleviation of anxiety are cognitive, affective and behavioral approaches (Hembree, 1988 in Kondo & Ying-Ling, 2004). These three intervention

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approaches provide the basis for the types of strategies students may use to tackle their language anxiety. According to Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004), if students think that their cognition (worry, preoccupations, and concerns) creates anxiety, they may attempt to suppress or alter the thought processes related to language learning. Those who believe that somatic arousal (physical responses to anxiety) is the main concern may find ways to ease bodily reactions and tension. If students assume that anxiety arises because they lack the necessary academic skills, they may study harder. However, if students perceive that their anxieties are too much to cope with, they may not invest effort in reducing the anxiety. In their study which was designed to develop a typology of strategies that Japanese students use to cope with English language learning anxiety, Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004, p. 258) identified 70 basic tactics and put them into five strategy categories. Those include: (1) Preparation (e.g. studying hard, trying to obtain good summaries of lecture notes), (2) Relaxation (e.g. taking a deep breath, trying to calm down), (3) Positive thinking (e.g. imagining oneself giving a great performance, trying to enjoy the tension), (4) Peer seeking (e.g. looking for others who are having difficulty controlling their anxieties, asking other students if they understand the class), and (5) Resignation (e.g. giving up, sleeping in class) (p. 47). According to Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004), preparation can be considered a behavioral strategy because it focuses on behavioral components of language learning that are related to effective performance in class. Relaxation is characterized by its affective quality in that it aims at alleviating bodily tension associated with emotional arousal. Positive thinking and peer seeking are attempts

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to suppress or alter problematic thought processes related to language learning, and thus can be subsumed into cognitive strategies. f.

Effects of FLA MacIntyre et al. (1998) lists five major effects of FLA in language learning

and performance. First, academically, FLA is one of the best predictors of language proficiency since high levels of FLA are associated with low levels of academic achievement in foreign language learning. The second effect is the social effect. Students with high anxiety level are not interested to take part in interpersonal communication with others. Third, cognitively, FLA can occur at any stage of language acquisition. FLA can become an affective filters that prevents certain information from entering a student’s cognitive processing system. Fourth, FLA arousal influence the quality of communication output as the retrieval of information may be interrupted when students get anxious. Finally, personally, language learning experience could, under some circumstances, become a traumatic experience. This kind of unpleasant experience may dramatically disturb one’s self-esteem or self-confidence as a student. 3.

Relationship between Motivation and FLA Both anxiety and motivation play fundamental parts in English learning.

They are closely related to each other in second and foreign language learning (Liu & Huang, 2011). Various levels of foreign language learners’ accomplishment might be influenced by anxiety and motivation. Motivation is one of the factors that influence the success of language learning. Language anxiety, however, often works against motivation to learn. It is thus important to

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review the relationship between motivation and anxiety in terms of students’ English learning achievement. The relationship between language motivation and language anxiety has been investigated by some researchers. Language anxiety was found to be negatively related to motivation (Gardner et al., 1987; Hashimoto, 2002; Yang, Liu & Wu, 2010; Liu & Huang, 2011). Clement, Dornyei and Noels (1994) found that learners who are more motivated to learn language are usually less anxious learners who have better previous experiences, who evaluate their own proficiency more highly and who consider the learning tasks are less difficult. According to Noels, Clement and Pelletier (2001), the more learners feel amotivated, the less effort they will expand and the more anxiety they will feel. Another study conducted by Liu and Cheng (2014) also found that Taiwanese university freshmen’s anxiety levels were significantly lower when students had a higher degree of motivation. The finding of Liu and Cheng’s study also revealed that the combination of communication apprehension and fear of negative evaluation acted as primary source language anxiety in the Taiwanese EFL classroom. Tahernezhad, Behjat and Kargar (2014) investigated the degree of anxiety among Iranian intermediate EFL learners and its relation to their motivation. To the end, a total number of 80 EFL learners (35 males and 45 females) were selected through cluster random sampling from two language classes at Islamic Azad University in Iran as the participants in this study. The instruments used to collect the data from the participants were the Foreign Language Learning Anxiety Scale (FLCAS) and Gardner’s (1985) Attitude/Motivation Test Battery

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(AMTB). The results indicated that the majority of the participants experienced a mid to high level of language learning anxiety. Besides, it was found that the participants with lower levels of the language learning anxiety were more motivated to learn English while those with higher levels of the language learning anxiety were less motivated to learn English. 4.

Lived Experience “Lived experience is the starting point and end point of phenomenological

research” (van Manen, 1990, p. 36). Van Manen (1990) points out eight important philosophical points of phenomenology research. First, “phenomenological research is the study of lived experience” (van Manen, 1990, p. 9). Langdridge (2007, p. 4) points out the same way that when doing phenomenological studies, “we aim to focus on people’s perceptions of the world in which they live and what this means to them: a focus on people’s lived experience.” “Phenomenology is the study of the lifeworld–the world as we immediately experience it pre-reflectively rather than as we conceptualize, categorize or reflect on it” (Husserl, 1970; Schutz & Luckmann, 1973 in van Manen, 1990, p. 9). Van Manen (1990, p. 9) states that “phenomenology aims at gaining a deeper understanding of the nature or meaning of our everyday experiences.” Phenomenology asks what this or that kind of experience is like. What I can highlight here is that, according to van Manen (1990), phenomenology bring us in more direct contact with the world instead of offering us the possibility of effective theory with which we can now explain and/or control the world. Second, “phenomenological research is the explication of a phenomenon as it presents itself to consciousness” (van Manen, 1990, p. 9). “The word 29


phenomenon comes from the Greek phaenesthai, to flare up, to show itself, to appear” (Moustakas, 1994, p. 26). Constructed from phaino, phenomenon means “to bring to light, to place in brightness, to show itself in itself, the totality of what lies before us in the light of day” (Heidegger, 1997 in Moustakas, 1994, p. 26). The phenomena can be explained after people have been aware of their experiences. In the other words, Langdridge (2007) explains that an object enters our reality only when we perceive it, when it is presented to consciousness. Langdridge (2007, p. 4) elaborates further by saying that “our perceptions varies according to the context, the position of the perceiver in the relation to the object and the mood of the perceiver, among other things.” Therefore, an experience may be differently meaningful to different people and even the same person in a different context. Going back to van Manen (1990, p. 9), he emphasizes that “consciousness is the only access human beings have to the world.” What I can highlight here is that, according to van Manen (1990, p. 10), “phenomenological reflection is not introspective but retrospective meaning that reflection on experiences that is already passed or lived through.” Third, phenomenological research is the study of essences (van Manen, 1990, p. 10). Essence means “the structure and the internal meaning structure of lived experience” (van Manen, 1990, p. 10). Husserl (1931) in Moustakas (1994, p. 27) asserted that “essence provides on the one side a knowledge of the essential nature of the real, on the other, in respect of the domain left over, knowledge of the essential nature of the non-real (irreal).” Fourth, phenomenological research is the description of the experiential meanings we live as we live them (van Manen, 1990, p. 11). In other words, phenomenology attempts to explain the meanings as

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we live them in our everyday existence. Fifth, phenomenological research is the human scientific study of phenomena (van Manen, 1990, p. 11). According to van Manen (1990, p. 11), “phenomenology claims to be scientific in a broad sense, since it is systematic, explicit, self-critical and intersubjective study of its subject matter, our lived experience.” Van Manen (1990, p. 11) also states that phenomenology is a human science since the subject matter of phenomenological research is always the structures of meaning of the lived human world. Sixth, “phenomenological research is the attentive practice of thoughtfulness” (van Manen, p. 12). According to Heidegger (1962) in van Manen (1990, p. 12), thoughtfulness is described as “a minding, a heeding, a caring attunement-a heedful, midful wondering about the project of life, of living, of what it means to live a life.” Seventh, phenomenological research is a search for what it means to be human (van Manen, 1990, p. 12). Van Manen (1990, p. 12) emphasizes that “phenomenological research, as its ultimate aim, the fulfillment of our human nature: to become more fully who we are.” Eighth, “phenomenological research is a poetizing activity” (van Manen, 1990, p. 13). Van Manen (1990, p. 13) defines poetizing as “thinking on original experience and is thus speaking in a more primal sense.” Another aim of phenomenology stated by van Manen (1990, p. 36) is that “to transform lived experience into a textual expression of its essence–in such a way that the effect of the text is once a reflexive re-living and a reflective appropriation of something meaningful: a notion by which a reader is powerfully animated in his or her own lived experience.” Dilthey (1985) in van Manen (1990, p. 35) has suggested that in its most basic form lived experience involves our immediate, pre-reflective consciousness

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of life: a reflexive or self-given awareness which is, as awareness, unaware of itself. A lived experience does not confront me as something perceived or represented; it is not given to me, but the reality of lived experience is therefor-me because I have a reflective awareness of it, because I possess it immediately as belonging to me in some sense. Only in thought does it become objective. Dithley (1985) in van Manen (1990, p. 36) also suggest that lived experience is to the soul what breath is to the body: “just as our body needs to breathe, our soul requires the fulfillment and expansion of its existence in the reverberations of emotional life.” Gadamer (1975) in van Manen (1990, p. 37) observed that the word “experience” has a condensing and intensifying meaning: “If something is called or considered an experience its meaning rounds it into the unity of a significant whole.” According to Dithley (1985) in van Manen (1990, p. 37), “what makes the experience unique so that I can reflect on it and talk about it is the particular ‘structural nexus’, the motif, that gives this experience its particular quality (central idea or dominant theme).” “Structural nexus” here means as something that belong to a particular lived experience (something like a pattern or unit of meaning), which becomes part of a system of contextually related experience, explicated from it through a process of reflection on its meaning. According to Langdridge (2007, p. 4), phenomenologists argue that “it does not make sense to think of objects in the world separately from subjectivity and our perception to them.” Lived experience is a subjective experience. It is subjective because “an experience may be differently meaningful to different people and even the same person in a different context” (Langdridge, 2007, p. 5). 32


Four factors related to the subjectivity of lived experience are ideology, historicity, intentionality and awareness. Ideology is related to set of beliefs characteristics of a social group or individual. Each individual has his or her own beliefs about a certain object or event, therefore the experience between one individual and the other is likely to be different and unique depending on the individual’s ideology. Ricoeur (1970) believes that people always occupy an ideological position even if they are unaware of it. Bunnin and Yu (2004) define historicity as a term in phenomenological tradition denoting the feature of our human situation by which we are located in specific concrete temporal and historical circumstances. Dilthey (1900) in Bunnin and Yu (2004) argues that historicity identifies human beings as unique and concrete historical beings. “The term ‘intentionality’ indicates the inseparable connectedness of the human being to the world” (van Manen, 1990, p. 181). Langdridge (2007) explains that intentionality refers to the fact that whenever we are conscious or aware, it is always to be conscious or aware of something. Langdridge (2007) elaborates more by saying that an object enters our reality only when we perceive it, when it is presented to consciousness. Furthermore, “our perception varies according to the context, the position of the perceiver in relation to the object and the mood of the perceiver, among other things” (Langdridge, 2007, p. 5). Marleau-Ponty (1962) in van Manen (1990, p. 183) describes awareness as “a certain kind of attentiveness and will to seize the meaning of the world.” As Carruthers (1996, p. 152) states that the subjective feel of experience presupposes a capacity for higher-order awareness, and as he then continues, such self-awareness is a conceptually necessary condition for an organism to be a subject of phenomenal feelings, or for there to be anything that its experiences are like. 33


Four factors above had been the basis for the fields of lived experience. They are understanding, belief, feeling, intention and action. In investigating the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE, I focused on belief, feeling and action. First, when it comes to belief, I am very sure that every student brings a variety of preconceived beliefs to the foreign language class. Puchta (1999) in Arnold (2007) has stressed the importance of beliefs for any learning experience. Puchta (1999) in Arnold (2007, p. 30) states that “beliefs are strong perceptual filters; they serve as explanations for what has happened and they give us a basis for future behavior.” In the other words, beliefs are likely to influence the actions. Lonergan (1953) identifies five stages of the process of true belief. They are (1) preliminary judgment on the value of belief in general, on the reliability of the source, (2) a reflective act of understanding that, in virtue of the preliminary judgments, grasps as virtually unconditioned the value of deciding to believe some particular proposition, (3) the consequent judgment of value, (4) the consequent decision of the will, and (5) the assent that is the act of believing. Second, lived experience is related to how people feel the experience. “Feeling is a state, which is in its entirety in every moment of time as long as it endures” (Peirce, 2009, p. 363). When a person asks how someone feels, the responses will include adjective responses expressing feelings such as anxious, happy, afraid, confident, and so on (Patton, 2002). Since CA and FNE are closely related to the feeling itself, the participants’ feelings are interesting to be explored. Third, it was about action. Action involves the use of five senses and bodily movements (Lonergan, 1985). According to Wilson (2007), action is something that an agent does that was intentional under some descriptions. Van Manen

34


(1990, p. 154) states “human science is concerned with action in that hermeneutic phenomenological reflection deepens thought and therefore radicalizes thinking and the acting that flows from it.” A situation that each participant had is likely to insist his or her to take actions. For the purpose of this study, the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE is defined as their past experience that is already passed or lived through and may include the beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions that represent the essence of the situation when they experienced CA and FNE. I focus on the lived experience in which the participants are powerfully animated. B.

Framework of Pre-Understanding Many studies have been reported that the number of students who

experience CA and FNE is amazing. Students with high motivation are not the exception. In foreign language learning, they cannot avoid dealing with CA and FNE. It is interesting to find out how the students who are closely associated with language achievement and considered as successful learners experience, handle and give meaning to CA and FNE. Highly-motivated students tend to be motivated internally and externally although the degrees are not exactly the same. The students have motivation which comes from the students themselves such as their own goals and the needs to learn. They learn foreign language in order to experience pleasure and satisfaction such as the joy of doing a particular activity or satisfying one's curiosity. This type of students is also triggered by the challenging nature of an activity. The students are also eager to learn to get external reward. The rewards can be tangible (e.g. grades) and intangible (e.g. recognition). 35


Even though they have equipped themselves with such kind of motivation, they cannot avoid dealing with CA and FNE. In the teaching learning process, CA and FNE can be caused by some factors. The factors are from the student themselves, the teacher, the classmates and the classroom’s activities. When they have to face CA and FNE, they will manifest several symptoms. The symptoms can be physical, psychological, behavioral and other symptoms. Therefore, they have to cope with their anxieties. They will act as how they are aware of factors contributing to their CA and FNE. They will come up with some strategies to cope with their CA and FNE. The strategies may be one of these strategies; cognitive, affective, behavioral and resignation. Combination of more than one strategy is possible. One’s strategy to cope with CA and FNE may also be different since CA and FNE are actually two different types of FLA. The strategies might not fully represent the further decision of highlymotivated students. Let us consider my experience that I use in the beginning of my background of study in chapter I. When in the middle of the class, the lecturer asks a question. The highly-motivated students may know the answer but they experience FNE. Therefore, they have fights in minds whether to give answer or not. The highly-motivated students probably answer the question since their motivation is greater than their anxieties or in the other words, they cope with his or her FNE successfully. However, the decision of not answering the question is still possible. In sum, in the process of foreign language learning, highly-motivated students have high possibility in experiencing CA and FNE. Experiencing CA and FNE covers several essential themes. They are causes of students’ CA and FNE,

36


students’ beliefs, students’ manifestation of CA and FNE and students’ strategies to cope with CA and FNE. These themes are bracketed off. Bracketing describes my attempts to set aside all personal feelings, beliefs and preconceptions so that an unbiased account of participants’ lived experience were made (Creswell, 2012). At the end, the awareness of these things will result in students’ understanding of themselves. Therefore, they may use the understanding to make a difference to the lived world of themselves and others. The figure below represents the construct of my study.

37


High Motivation

Intrinsic  Knowledge &Skills  Curiosity  Challenge

CA and FNE

STUDENT

Classroom Characteristic  Class activities

Extrinsic  Grade  Recognition  Competition

Classmates Characteristics

Student’s Characteristic  Personal trait  Belief about language learning

Teacher’s Characteristic  Teacherlearner interaction

The Highly-Motivated Students’ Lived Experience of CA and FNE

Feeling

Belief

Manifestation of CA & FNE

Action

Strategies to Cope with CA & FNE

Physical

Cognitive

Psychological

Affective

Behavioral

Behavioral

Other signs

Resignation

Figure 2.1. Construct of the Study

38


CHAPTER III RESEARCH METHODOLOGY This chapter explores the methodology employed to answer the research question of this study, nature and the source of data, instruments, data collection, data analysis and trustworthiness. A.

Research Method This study was a hermeneutic phenomenological study. “Phenomenology

because it is the study of lived experience (phenomenon) in an attempt to enrich lived experience by mining its meaning” (van Manen, 1990, p. 38). “Hermeneutics because it is the interpretive study of the expressions and objectifications (texts) of lived experience in an attempt to determine the meaning embodied in them” (van Manen, 1990, p. 38). Hermeneutic phenomenological method was the most appropriate method for conducting this study since this study aimed at finding the scientific truth of the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE specifically by describing and interpreting their lived experience of CA and FNE. Hermeneutic phenomenological method does not focus only on describing the experience but also interpreting it. The purpose of interpretation is to understand the essential meaning of experience (Heiddegger, 1927, 1962 in Langdridge, 2007). Heidegger began the hermeneutic turn in phenomenological philosophy by stressing how all understanding involves interpretation.

39


B.

Nature and Source of Data The data gathered for completing the study was in the form of texts

including anecdotes−a specific story form or narrative form. The texts were obtained from in-depth interview. The texts represented the participants’ experience and their reflections on their experience. Van Manen (1990, p. 54) mentions that all recollections of experience including reflections on experience, descriptions of experience, taped interviews about experience or transcribed conversations about experience are already the transformations of those experience. In order to explore highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE, there was a need of using beginner students as they were assumed to experience “transition anxiety” (Schumann and Schumann, 1977). The “transition anxiety” is the feeling experienced by learners in the beginner level, when they feel stressed because they have to face and adapt to a new atmosphere. I decided to ask the participation of second-year ELESP students since they might still adapt to the new atmosphere but they had more experience to be shared than the firstyear students. Related to motivation in learning, the second-year students probably have clearer direction in their studies. When this research was being conducted, the second-year students began their fourth semester. Therefore, the participants of the study should meet these three criteria: (1) they were secondyear students, (2) they had high level of motivation and (3) had high level of CA and FNE. After some procedure of recruitments, two students met the criteria and were willing to be my participants. Therefore, the two participants became the source of data in this study.

40


C.

Instruments Two instruments were employed in this study. First, questionnaire was used

to measure students’ level of motivation, CA and FNE. It was done in order to make sure that the participants to be interviewed later met the criteria of this study. Second, interview was used as the main instrument in this study in order to get the main data to answer the research question. 1.

Questionnaire for Recruiting Participants Two questionnaires were adapted and made into one (see Appendix 1). The

first questionnaire is known as Work Preference Inventory (WPI) composed by Amabile et al., (1994). WPI provides measurement of students’ intrinsic motivation (IM) and extrinsic motivation (EM). The questionnaire seeks to assess the extent to which students see themselves as either more intrinsically or more extrinsically motivated in school or at work by asking them to report on their usual motivations for a variety of diagnostic situations. The second questionnaire is Foreign Language Classroom Anxiety Scale (FLCAS) proposed by Horwitz, Horwitz and Cope (1986). It measures students’ level of Foreign Language Anxiety (FLA). Cao (2011) has classified each item of FLCAS into three types of FLA, namely communication apprehension (CA), test anxiety (TA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE). The questionnaire items related to TA were not used since the focus of this study was on CA and FNE. The adapted questionnaire consisted of 38 items: 10 IM items (2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 18, 19), 10 EM items (1, 3, 5, 8, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20), 11 CA items (21, 23, 25, 27, 28, 29, 32, 33, 34, 35, 37) and 7 FNE items (22, 24, 26, 30, 31, 36, 38). The statements were also divided into two types of statements, positive and 41


negative statements. The positive statements were in the number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 and 38. The negative statements were in the number 7, 11, 22, 27, 29 and 32. All the statements were written in the English in order to keep intended meaning of each statement. The participants particularly were English major students who could read and understand English well. The adapted questionnaire was designed on a 5-point likert-scale ranging from strongly disagree (1 point) to strongly agree (5 points) for positive statements and strongly disagree (5 points) to strongly agree (1 point) for negative statements. 2.

Interview for Investigating Participants’ Lived Experience This study employed two steps of interview. The first was an initial

interview to get to know each participant’s background and each participant’s motivation in learning English. The second was in-depth interview which was done to capture the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE. According

to

van

Manen

(1990,

p.

66),

interview

in

hermeneutic

phenomenological human science serves very specific purposes: (1) it may be used as a mean for exploring and gathering experiential narrative material that may serve as a resource for developing a richer and deeper understanding of human phenomenon and (2) the interview may be used as a vehicle to develop a conversational relation with a partner (interviewee) about the meaning of an experience. In other words, interview is designed to extract the perceptions and experience as participants describe them (Lodico et al., 2010; Howitt & Cramer, 2011; Creswell, 2012 in Wildman, 2015). Fassinger (2005) in Ingiaimo (2012) sees interviews as a valuable tool for allowing participants to tell their stories in their own words.

42


In doing in-depth interview, I prepared myself with an interview guideline to help guide the interview. The interview guideline was used to frame the discussion and to focus attention on the topic of interest and then worked with the participants to explore the participants’ lived experience. In addition to this, I believed that the participants would reflect and tell their experience freely with the open-ended questions. The interviews were carried out in participants’ mother tongue, Indonesian, to facilitate communication and to promote richness of the data in less threatening way. The interview guideline was made based on Moustakas’s (1994) general interview guide. The questions in the interview guideline were designed for the interview as follows. Table 3.1. List of Questions as the Interview Guideline No

Questions

Intention

1.

Have you ever felt anxious while

to open the conversation, to lead

you

to the main topic and to make

were

learning

in

the

classroom?

sure that the participants had ever experience anxiety specifically CA in the language learning classroom.

2.

Try to remember the last time you

to understand the participants’

were anxious and tell me about the

lived experience of CA. I focused

situation.

on the latest experience since it would be easier for participants to recall the experience.

43


3.

to indentify participants’ feeling

How did you feel at that time?

in a more specific way, or in the other

word,

to

identify

participants’ manifestation of CA 4.

What bodily changes or states were

to identify participants’ bodily

you aware of at the time?

changes or states when they were experiencing CA, or in the other word, to identify participants’ manifestation of CA

5.

to identify participants’ thoughts

What thoughts stood out for you?

when they were experiencing CA 6.

7.

After having such kind of feeling

to explore the coping strategies

and thought, finally, what did you

used by the participants to cope

do?

their CA

Why did you do that?

to explore the reasons behind their decisions of doing what they did or of choosing the specific coping strategies

8.

Related

to

situation

of

the

to explore the students’ thoughts

classroom, how was your teacher

and

feelings

related

to

the

and or classmates at that time?

presence of the lecturer and the classmates

9.

Did your teacher and classmates

to determine whether lecturer and

affect your anxiousness?

classmates

44

affected

the


participants

and

to

confirm

whether they experienced FNE or not 10.

What did you do at that time?

to explore the coping strategies used by the participants to cope their FNE.

11.

Why did you do that?

to explore the reasons behind their decisions of doing what they did or of choosing the specific coping strategies.

12.

How did the experience affect you?

to explore the impacts of the

What changes do you associate

experience to the participants. It

with the experience?

was more related to the future time when they had to face the same situation.

13.

D.

Do you have other experiences of

to

probe

into

being anxious in the classroom?

possibilities

What kind of activities did make

could trigger participants’ CA

you feel anxious?

and FNE

of

the

other

situation

that

Data Collection The sampling in hermeneutic phenomenology is likely to be purposive

(Langdridge, 2007). The sample is purposive because the researcher purposely set out to recruit only those people who share the experience being investigated. To

45


recruit the participants, initially, I distributed the adapted questionnaire to measure students’ level of motivation, CA and FNE. I also attached the invitation for interview letter (see Appendix 2) along with the questionnaire. I came to two classes in ELESP and asked the students to fill the questionnaires. I got sixty students as my respondents. The questionnaires filled by respondents were analyzed. Based on the result of the questionnaires, four students met the criteria of my study. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to fill the student number, so I was unable to contact him or her. I tried to contact the other three students and finally two students were willing to be my participants. The two participants willingly signed the consent form (see Appendix 6 and 7). Therefore, I had access to conduct interviews for the study. The two participants were interviewed three times in order to explore their experience in depth or in the other words, to get the richness of data. They were interviewed in depth through one-on-one interviews. One-on-one interview is a data collection process in which the researcher asks questions to and records answer from only one participant in the study at a time (Creswell, 2012). The interviews were conducted in Indonesian and were audio recorded. After I had done with the recording, I took a brief note to note down the important and interesting point from the interview I just had. If it was not possible to meet the participants, the online interviews were conducted through whatsapp or line application. E.

Data Analysis Two kinds of instruments employed in this study. Therefore, in this section,

I present the analysis for each instrument. This section is divided into 2 smaller 46


sections: (1) data analysis for questionnaire and (2) text description and interpretation for in-depth interview. 1.

Data Analysis for Questionnaire The results of the questionnaire were inputted and calculated on the

computer sheets. Firstly, I classified each response whether it belonged to motivation, CA and FNE. I also classified the each response whether it belonged to positive or negative statement. The scoring for positive and negative statements would be different. Table below showed the scoring for positive and negative statements. Table 3.2. Scoring for Positive and Negative Statements of Motivation, CA and FNE Scoring Level of Agreement and Disagreement

Positive

Negative

Statement Statement Strongly Disagree

1

5

Disagree

2

4

Neutral

3

3

Agree

4

2

Strongly Agree

5

1

The motivation mean scores of each participant were calculated individually. The individual motivation mean score was calculated by totaling all scores of IM and EM items of each individual participant had and divided by 20 (the total number of motivation items). The individual mean score of CA was also the sum of all scores of CA items that each individual participant had divided by 11 (the total number of CA items). I did the same with the FNE. The individual mean score of FNE was the sum of all scores of FNE items that each individual 47


participant had divided by 7 (the total number of FNE items). After getting the mean score, each of the participants was categorized into a certain level of motivation, CA and FNE based on the following criteria by Degang (2010). The higher mean score indicated the higher level of motivation, CA and FNE. Table 3.3. Interpretation of Mean Score Results Mean Score Range

Motivation Level

CA Level

FNE Level

4.50 - 5.00

Highest

Highest

Highest

3.50 - 4.49

High

High

High

2.50 - 3.49

Moderate

Moderate

Moderate

1.50 - 2.49

Low

Low

Low

1.00 - 1.49

Lowest

Lowest

Lowest

Adapted from Degang (2010, p. 23) 2.

Text Description and Interpretation for In-Depth Interview The first step of analyzing the result of interview was to transcribe the audio

recorded files from the in-depth interviews. The audio files were carefully listened to repeatedly. Each word was written and put into a word document format. After having completed transcripts, they were read multiple times for the identification of the specific situation faced by each participant. The situation of each participant was described in order to give a clear and vivid picture of the situation before arriving at the interpretation of the data. Van Manen (1990) gives some suggestions for producing a lived-experience description. First, it is needed to describe the experience as I lived through it. I should avoid as much as possible causal explanations, generalizations, or abstract interpretations. For example, it does not help to state what caused your illness, why you like swimming so much, or why you feel that children tend to like to 48


play outdoors more than indoors. Second, it is suggested to describe the experience from the inside, as it were; almost like a state of mind: the feelings, the mood and the emotions. Third, what should be done is focus on a particular example or incident of the object of experience: describe specific events, an adventure, a happening or a particular experience. Fourth, it is better to try to focus on an example of the experience which stands out for its vividness, or as it was the first time. Fifth, it is important to attend to how the body feels, how things smelled, how they sounded and many others. Sixth, what is not less important is to avoid trying to beautify your account with fancy phrases or flowery terminology. Data were interpreted thematically in hermeneutic phenomenology. Auerbach and Silverstein’s (2003, p. 38) define a theme as a way to categorize a set of data into “an implicit topic that organizes a group of repeating ideas.” Saldana (2009, p. 139) confirmed this understanding as he stated “a theme is a phrase or sentence that identifies what a unit of data is about and/or what it means.” However, my goal was to uncover these themes as van Manen (1990) proposed by reading the data multiple times in order to come up with interpretive, insightful discoveries. Overall I followed his model to get at the “notions” of the data to make sense of it and give it shape. My themes emerged as a “form of capturing the phenomenon one tries to understand” (van Manen, 1990, p. 87). I used van Manen’s (1990) approach which is called selective reading approach. In the selective reading approach, I listen to or read a text several times and ask what statement(s) or phrase(s) seem particularly essential or revealing about the phenomenon or being described. The completed transcripts as the result

49


of in-depth interviews were read multiple times for the identification of significant sentences. The transcripts were cut out and assigned a sentence or a phrase in order to capture the essence of the thought expressed by the participants. By following this step, themes could be generated. The themes were examined for similarities and links therefore attempts were made to order them into coherent themes. The figure below summarized the data collection and data analysis of my study. STEPS

RESULTS

Adapting questionnaires

Adapted questionnaire

Constructing questions as indepth interview guideline

List of questions

Distributing questionnaires

Questionnaires filled by respondents

Analyzing mean scores

Respondents' level of motivation and anxiety

Contacting students who had high level of motivation, CA and FNE

2 partipants who wanted to share their experience

Conducting in-depth interviews

Audio-recorded data

Transcribing audio-recorded data

Transcripts of in-depth interviews

Describing participants' situation

Participants' stories

Conducting thematic analysis (selective reading approach)

List of themes

Figure 3.1. Data Collection and Data Analysis

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F.

Trustworthiness The goal of trustworthiness is to support the argument that the inquiry’s

finding are “worth paying attention to” (Lincoln & Guba, 1985, p. 290). Before ensuring the trustworthiness of the result of the analysis, I need to ensure that the data gathered were trustworthy as well. The trustworthiness of the data in this study was supported by two factors. First, the data gathered from the participants who met the criteria of this study. They were second-year students, had high level of motivation and experienced CA and FNE. Second, the instruments employed in this study were valid and reliable. Validity and reliability of the FLCAS and WPI have been proved by previous studies as it is a well-known questionnaire used in the research of this area. According to Horwitz (1986), pilot testing of the scale with seventy-five introductory Spanish students at the University of Texas at Austin demonstrated reliability and validity of FLCAS. In terms of internal reliability, the FLCAS achieving an alpha coefficient of .93 with all items producing significant corrected item-total scale correlations. Test-retest reliability over eight weeks yielded an r= .83 (p<.001). Amabile et al. (1994) reported that WPI has meaningful factor structures, adequate internal consistency, good short-term test-retest reliability and good longer term stability. To maintain the construct and content validity of the interview guideline, the interview questions were reviewed by two graduate students of ELS at Sanata Dharma University. The trustworthiness of the result of analysis was achieved by doing member checking. Member checking allowed for further elaboration of questions answered or omissions of any information collected. After the themes were established, they 51


were sent back to two participants who read the summarized phrases and themes. These two individuals read the documentation and concurred with the results. They agreed that the information presented to them was true and accurate to the best of their knowledge. By following this model, the resulting conclusions were considered validated.

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CHAPTER IV DESCRIPTION AND INTERPRETATION This chapter includes the short introduction of the participants, the exploration of the phenomena and the presentation of the themes derived from the analysis of the data captured from the interviews. The data collected was organized into themes portraying the the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of communication apprehension (CA) and fear of negative evaluation (FNE). A.

Description This section covers the participants’ background and the description of the

participants’ experience of CA and FNE in teaching and learning process in the classroom. At the beginning of in-depth interview, I asked each participant to try to remember the last time each of them was anxious and to tell me about the situation. I asked the latest experience of each participant since it would be easier for each participant to recall the experience. Interestingly, each participant told me that the latest experience was also the most anxious experience each of them had ever had. I focused only on the latest and the most anxious situation since I wanted to develop detailed description and interpretation of it. The completed transcripts were read multiple times for the identification of the situation faced by the participants. The description is presented in order to give a clear and vivid picture of the situation before arriving at the interpretation of the data.

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1.

Venita’s Story My first participant was Venita (pseudonym). She had high level of

motivation (M= 3.50), high level of CA (M= 3.91) and high level of FNE (M= 3.86). She told me the situation when she experienced CA and FNE in the teaching and learning process in the classroom. Before going to the description of her experience, I would like to give short introduction about her. Venita is a cheerful girl who was born 19 years ago in Jakarta. She was the last child in her family. Her father was a businessman and her mother was a housewife. She had two elder brothers who were also college students. She was inspired of her hard-working father who wanted his children to be better than him. During her spare time, she liked reading novels, singing and drawing. She described herself as a person who was cheerful, friendly, not easy to give up but still lack of self-confidence and emotional. She lived in Jakarta until she finished her junior high school. After graduating, she entered a private senior high school in Semarang. Venita started her study in the English Language Education Study Program (ELESP) at Sanata Dharma University in August 2014. By the time she started her study in the ELESP, she had studied English for fourteen years. Having an enough background in English, she told me that English was not her interest. Her interest was on design. However, because of some consideration, she decided to enroll ELESP. She took the program as a new challenge for her since she had to go outside her comfort zone. She expected that she would have a better career opportunity after graduating from the program. Therefore, she could make her parents proud of her. When this study was being carried, she began her fourth

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semester. For the previous three semesters, she learned that all of the courses were taught using English. In the speaking class, especially, she had to speak English actively. In her third semester, she joined speaking class named Critical Listening and Speaking (CLS). Once in the semester, each student was required to give an impromptu speech. The lecturer employed a classroom activity called “hot seat”. Each student randomly picked a topic prepared by the lecturer, then thought about the topic for about 15 seconds and talked about the topic for 5 minutes. Venita’s worry began when she found out about the activity and knew further that the performance would be graded by the lecturer. She felt that she was lack of public speaking skill. Only by imagining the situation could make her uneasy. She did not want to make a fool of herself in front of the lecturer and her friends, nor did she want to fail the class. Every time she attended the speaking class, she felt anxious that her name would be called by the lecturer. Until one day, her name was really called by the lecturer. She picked a topic prepared by the lecturer and got “three unique ways to use pencil except for writing and drawing”. The situation hit her in panic, made her heart beat fast and brought her break out in a cold sweat. In 15 second, she tried to think about what she would talk in front of the class. In the process of thinking, she was helpless and unable to concentrate. She thought that the topic was difficult and she was unable to handle it. However, she knew that whether she wanted or not, she had to talk. She tried to look at her friends who previously were also in her position. She wanted to be as good as her friends. She also reminded herself of her own goal to get good grade in every class she took. Therefore, she handled her anxiousness by taking a deep breath to calm down

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herself. Instead of thinking like the previous way, she turned her negative thought into positive thought saying to herself that she could handle the situation. Doing these things could lessen her anxiousness but the real war was about to begin. She started to give the speech in front of the class. She would do the same things when she started to feel overwhelmed with her anxiousness, but still she was afraid of looking at her lecturer and friends directly. In the process of giving speech, she was afraid that her lecturer would give negative feedback since her lecturer was a person who paid attention on details. She was also distracted by some friends who, according to her, liked to underestimate others. The lecturer and friends made her heart beat faster than before. Again and again she took a deep breath to calm herself down. She tried to ignore the thought that her friends would give negative comments behind her back. Her struggle to give the speech was not only up to that point. Many thoughts came to her mind especially about the correctness of the grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. After she ended her speech, she went back to her chair and listened to her lecturer’s feedback. The lecturer said that Venita was good in opening the speech and in using gestures to practice what she said so that the audience would get the information better. The lecturer reminded her to enrich vocabularies, to mind the grammar and to reduce unneeded gestures. Not only listening to her teacher’s feedback, Venita also reviewed her performance by herself. She felt so stupid of forgetting some trivial things. She was not satisfied with her performance then after that she was lack of self-confidence. In spite of that, she was determined to prepare herself in case she had to face the same situation. According to her, the

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preparation was more about enriching vocabulary since knowing many vocabularies would help her in doing spontaneous speech. 2.

Petra’s Story My second participant was Petra (pseudonym). She had high level of

motivation (M= 3.60), high level of CA (M= 3.64) and high level of FNE (M= 3.86). She told me the situation when she experienced CA and FNE in the teaching and learning process in the classroom. Before going to the description of her experience, I would like to shortly introduce her. Petra is a friendly girl who was born 19 years ago in Yogyakarta. She was the first child in her family. Her father was a farmer who had his own farm, while her mother was a housewife. She had two younger brothers who studied in high school. During her spare time, she liked reading and writing poems. She described herself as a person who was care and responsible. On the other hand, she was still lack of self-confidence, shy and emotional. She attended kindergarten, elementary school and high school in Yogyakarta. Then she enrolled ELESP that was also in Yogyakarta. Petra had studied English since she was in the fourth grade of elementary school. She had an unpleasant experience of studying English which motivated her to enter ELESP. When she was in the fourth grade of elementary school, she joined a private English course with the other two friends. Being unable to comprehend the material, her teacher got mad and judged her of not being able to learn English. The effect of what was said by the teacher still remained in her heart. She decided to prove that she was able to learn even master English by

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entering the ELESP. When this study was being carried, she began her fourth semester. One of Petra’s goals was to learn to speak English well. Therefore, speaking classes offered by the ELESP were the best place for her to speak English actively. Like in the first and second semester, she joined the speaking class in the third semester. In the third semester, the name of the speaking class was Critical Listening and Speaking (CLS). One of the requirements to pass the class was that the students had to give a group presentation consisted of three persons. Petra and her friends had to give a presentation with the topic “nature school”. She and her friends prepared themselves before their turn by looking for and arranging the material into a good presentation. Petra personally prepared herself by practicing and remembering her own part. When the day came, Petra and her friends came in front of the classroom. When one of her friend began the presentation, she started to feel anxious. Her heart beat fast and suddenly her stomach ached. She tried to study her own part by looking at the note she had prepared before the presentation but she went blank. When it came to her turn, her heart beat faster than before. She said to herself, “I cannot do this. I am afraid of making mistakes.” However, she remembered her own goals to enhance her speaking skill. She also desired for getting good grade in the class. Then, she took a deep breath. She tried to turn her negative thought into positive one. She said to herself, “Yes, I can. I can. I can do this presentation well. I have memorized all the things last night. I have to try.” Speaking in the front of the classroom, she went blank. She wanted to be exactly the same like what she had prepared before. However, she forgot the material that she had

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prepared. She tried to recall her memory yet it was not easy. She kept trying, kept thinking positively and said what she remembered. Speaking in front of the classroom, she consciously made small hand movements but unconsciously played with her hair. Besides, she was unable to pronounce some words correctly. She knew the correct ones but unconsciously mispronounced them. She looked at her lecturer who, according to her, was too serious in listening to her presentation. Because of this, she thought that the lecturer would evaluate her negatively. She was also distracted by some friends who, according to her, liked to give bad comments behind her back. She looked at the other friends then she thought that her topic might be boring so that her friends did not listen to her presentation well. The situation caused her to be more difficult to bring back the material into her mind. Again and again, she convinced herself that she was able to do the presentation well. About her friends, she was confused how to handle the situation but finally she said to herself, “It is okay. No problem. Don’t think about it.” She tried to ignore the thought if maybe some friends would give negative feedback behind her back. The presentation ended. She went back to her chair. From that moment, she made a commitment that she would make better preparation for instance by practicing in front of the mirror, practicing with her friends, studying pronunciation and studying grammar. During the presentation, she indeed felt anxious, but it did not hinder herself to be brave to speak. She thought if she did not brave enough, she would not be able to speak English. Even, she planned to speak in front of the class voluntarily if her lecturers asked her to.

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B.

Interpretation This section covers the interpretation of participants’ stories derived from

in-depth interviews. The completed transcripts as the result of in-depth interviews were read multiple times for the identification of significant themes. The themes were examined for similarities and links therefore attempts were made to order them into coherent themes. Four major themes appeared to best reflect the highlymotivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE. The four major themes were: (1) struggle with communication apprehension (CA), (2) struggle with fear of negative evaluation (FNE), (3) reasons for choosing the coping strategies and (4) impacts of the experience. Within these four themes were a number of subthemes, which describe the substantive areas of the major themes. 1.

Struggle with Communication Apprehension (CA) Even though both participants had equipped themselves with high

motivation, they could not avoid dealing with CA. This section covers a big theme dealing with their experience of CA. The theme had three subthemes which described the substantive areas of how they struggled with CA. The three subthemes were: (1) causes of CA, (2) manifestation of CA and (3) strategies to cope with CA. a.

Causes of CA Research had indicated a number of ways that learning a foreign language

could cause anxiety for language learners. Both participants in my study had the same factors causing their CA. The factors were classroom activities and

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participants’ characteristics. Participants’ characteristics included participants’ personal traits and participants’ beliefs about language learning. 1)

Classroom Activities Venita experienced CA when she had to deliver five-minute impromptu

speech in the speaking class. The lecturer employed a classroom activity called “hot seat”. At that time, she randomly picked a topic prepared by the lecturer and got a topic “three unique ways of using a pencil except for writing and drawing.” Then, she thought about the topic in 15 seconds and talked about it for about 5 minutes in front of her lecturer and friends. She told me that this kind of classroom activity made her so anxious because everything was so random meaning that she did not know everything about the speech including the topic and the presentation schedule, so she could not make any preparations before the speech. Venita expressed In other presentation, I did not feel so anxious because I could make preparations. Nah, when it came to “hot seat”, I could not make any preparations. I did not know the topic. I did not know what I would say. I did not know when my turn would be. (Intrvw1_V96) Young (1999) state that using speaking activities that put the learner “on the spot” in front of their classmates without allowing adequate preparation is one of sources of anxiety for many students. Generally, through preparation, students need time to construct their ideas and make correct language choices. WongFilmore (1985) argues that more preparation and practice time are similar to the message redundancy meaning that repeating main presentation contents gives students more opportunities to improve and master their presenting skills. In

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contrast, if students is not given time to prepare themselves, they may not give fluent speech or presentation thereby causing CA in the classroom. On the other side, Petra experienced CA when she had a group presentation in the speaking class. Unlike Vernita, Petra could make preparations before the presentation because she knew the topic and had fixed presentation schedule. When I wanted to make sure whether she really anxious though she prepared herself, she said Yes. When I did free speech, I tended to do it well because I could speak freely. When I knew that the presentation would be graded, I made preparations but it turned out of my expectation. When I prepared the presentation, I expected that the presentation would be the same like I had prepared before. It gave a burden to me. (Intrvw1_P72) The situations faced by both participants showed that both of them experienced “stage fright” which is one of the forms of CA. Both participants experienced CA when they had to speak in front of the classroom though they had different types of speaking activity. As Young (1991) states, speaking in front of the class is one of the classroom activities which are perceived as anxietyprovoking. Young (1990) in her study found that more than sixty-eight percent of her subjects reported feeling more comfortable when they did not have to get in front of the class to speak. Young (1990) identifies more by saying that this might due to the fact that it is hard to be one’s self in the target language. “It is feeling of uncertainty and threats to the ego due to the unknown element of the second language, which can thus trigger anxiety” (Guiora et al., 1972 in Tallon, 2008, p. 3). Both participants had different experience regarding the preparations. Previous researchers had found and put more emphasize on the importance of 62


preparations (Horwitz et al., 1986; Young, 1990; Aida, 1994). They found that their subjects of research would feel less nervous if they got more preparations. However, the participants in this study still might experience CA with or without preparations. Petra did not try to say that a preparation was not important. She told me that she would still to do preparations for the next presentations. The problem might be on how she viewed the preparation itself. She said previously that she expected herself to be the same like what she had prepared before. Thus, it gave a burden to her. This kind of viewpoint might lead into perfectionism that would be discussed more under the subtheme manifestation of CA. 2)

Personal Traits The second factor causing the participants’ CA was participants’ personal

traits. It was in line with the previous study findings of Shameem and Siti (2006) in Tom et al. (2013). They discovered that one of the main factors causing CA was personality traits. Venita and Petra perceived themselves as persons who were lack of self-confidence. Venita said …My heart beat fast. First, it was because I could not speak in public. I was not confident… (Intrvw1_V50) When I asked Petra whether her traits had relationship with her anxiousness, she responded Yes, I was shy and not confident. (Intrvw1_P93) According to Petra, another personality trait that influenced her anxiousness was shyness. It was in line with Chu (2008) in Zhang (2010) who found that shyness had a positive correlation with FLA and was one of the factors creating a negative impact on Taiwanese students’ in studying English. 63


3)

Beliefs about Language Learning The third factor causing the participants’ CA was participants’ own beliefs

about language learning. I believed that language learners bring a variety of preconceived beliefs to the foreign language class. According to Young (1991), some beliefs may be based on unrealistic expectations. Young (1991, p. 428) elaborates more by saying “when students’ unrealistic expectations about language learning are not met, the situation can lead to negative feelings about one’s intelligence and abilities.” Young (1991) also emphasizes that learner beliefs about language learning are major contributors to language anxiety. Venita and Petra expressed their concern over the correctness of the grammar and pronunciation. Venita also stated the importance of memorizing many vocabularies. Since Petra had made preparations before the presentation, she did not express her concern greatly while she was giving presentation. On the other hand, Venita who had not made any preparation before her speech, worried about the correctness of the grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. While speaking in front of the class, she thought Duh… Was my grammar correct? Did the others understand what I was saying? Duh… Was there any vocabulary mistake? Duh duh duh. (Intrvw1_V62) When I reassured that she worried about them, she said Yes, the grammar must be correct. I had to know many vocabularies. Oh, the pronunciation should be correct too. In English, so many words were written similarly but pronounced differently. (Intrvw1_V65) I asked her whether her thoughts had effects on her anxiousness, she responded Yes, they burdened me.

(Intrvw1_V67) 64


The participants’ experience was similar to one of Horwitz's study’s findings (1988) in Tallon (2008) revealing that the students supported the notion that language learning was primarily memorizing vocabulary words and grammatical rules. Moreover, Price’s (1991) qualitative interview study also found that students were afraid of making errors in pronunciation. According to Young (1991) adds that most beginning students unless they are highly motivated, will not sound like native speaker. If they believe that pronunciation is the most important aspect of a language, they will end up frustrated and stressed. In other words, when beliefs and reality clash, anxiety results (Young, 1991). b.

Manifestation of CA Anxiety in general and FLA in particular can have physical, psychological

and behavioral manifestation (Oxford, 1999). It was important to remember that CA and FNE were highly subjective experience. Not everyone would experience the same symptom, nor would each person experience the same intensity of a symptom. When the participant experienced CA, they would manifest several symptoms. Both participants in this study manifested their anxieties physically, psychologically and behaviorally. While experiencing CA, both participants tended to underestimate their competence and showed their perfectionism. Moreover, in Venita’s experience, her perfectionism led to self-criticism. 1)

Physical, Psychological and Behavioral Symptoms The physical symptoms include how the participants experienced CA in

their bodies. Physically, Venita experienced rapid heartbeat. The situation also brought her out in a cold sweat. She said

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My heart beat fast. I broke into a cold sweat. (Intrvw1_V58) Like Venita, Petra experienced rapid heartbeat. Besides, she got sudden stomachache. She stated At that time, it was obvious that my heart beat fast… (Intrvw1_P75) Previously, she also said I got stomachache. When I was in front of the class, I forgot everything. I tried to remember what I had memorized, but it was not easy. (Intrvw1_P73) From Petra’s statements “I forgot everything. I tried to remember what I had memorized, but it was not easy” (Intrvw1_P73), they showed that her CA was manifested psychologically. Petra who had prepared herself before the presentation went blank and had difficulty in recalling what she had memorized. Psychologically, Venita also faced worse situation because she had not made any preparations. She went blank, felt helplessness and was unable to concentrate. Daly (1991, p. 12) argues that “being self-focused might result in a lower concentration on the audience and the surrounding, which is replaced by a reduction in speech performance.” Venita said It was difficult to concentrate. Hopeless. “Oh my God, it is so hard. Oh my God, it seems I cannot do this speech well.” I was afraid to speak in front of the class. I was blank. I was afraid of looking at others’ eyes directly. (Intrvw1_V60) Participants’ anxieties were also manifested in their behavior. Venita avoided eye contact because she was afraid of looking at others’ eyes directly. Petra began to fidget specifically she began to make small hand movements. From the lecturer’s feedback after the presentation, Petra knew that she unconsciously

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played with her hair too much and was unable to pronounce some words correctly. She knew the correct ones but unconsciously mispronounced them. 2)

Feeling of Incompetence It was worth noticing that both participants tended to underestimate their

competence to do the speaking activities they were assessed to. Venita said It was difficult to concentrate. Hopeless. “Oh my God, it is so hard. Oh my God, it seems I cannot do this speech well.” I was afraid to speak in front of the class. I was blank. I was afraid of looking at others’ eyes directly. (Intrvw1_V60) Petra thought I thought I could not do the presentation well, I was afraid of making mistakes. (Intrvw1_P79) By saying “I could not do this speech well” and “I could not do the the presentation well,” both participants tended to underrate their competence in target language production. This was supported by MacIntyre, Noels and Clement (1998) who note that the anxious learners tend to underestimate their own competence than less anxious ones. Horwitz (2001) and Horwitz et al. (1986) have contended that foreign language anxiety mainly stems from students’ low self-evaluation of competence or individual’s self-concept being challenged or threatened in the communication. It seemed that CA affected their self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is “people’s judgments of their capabilities to organize and execute courses of action required to attain designated types of performances” (Bandura, 1986, p. 391).

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3)

Perfectionism The other symptom of the participants’ anxieties was perfectionism. To

have perfectionism meant that they refused to accept any standard short of perfection. Petra said that she had to present the same way like what she had prepared before. It showed that she had a standard for her performance. What she had prepared was her standard and she did not want her performance to be below it. She realized that it gave her a burden. She expressed …When I knew that the presentation would be graded, I made preparations but it turned out of my expectation. When I prepared the presentation, I expected that the presentation would be the same like I had prepared before. It gave a burden to me. (Intrvw1_P72) The perfectionism was also expressed by Venita. She said I thought I was stupid because I forgot simple things. I realized it when I came back to my seat. From that moment, if I had a presentation, I would not be confident. If I was not satisfied with what I had presented, I became unconfident. (Intrvw1_V90) Saying about satisfaction, she implied that she had a standard for her speech. She mentioned that she regretted of forgetting simple things. Her perfectionism might be related to her beliefs about language learning that she concerned greatly over grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. In the other occasion, I had a chance to ask further what could make her satisfied with her presentation. She said I could deliver the ideas smoothly, could use good grammar, did not forget the vocabulary or in other word could use as many vocabularies as possible. I realized it when I came back to my seat “Why didn’t I say this when I was in front of the class?” (Intrvw3_V6)

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Puchta (1999) in Arnold (2007, p. 30) affirm “beliefs are strong perceptual filters, they serve explanations for what has happened and they give us a basis for future behavior.” Moreover, Gregersen and Horwitz (2002) look at the relationship between foreign language anxiety and perfectionism. They found that anxious language learners and perfectionists may have a number of characteristics in common such as higher standards for their English performance, more worry over the opinions of others, and a higher level of concern over their errors. In Venita’s experience, the perfectionism led to self-criticism “I think I was stupid…” (Intrvw1_V90). Based on what she believed, she might put unrealistic demands on herself and feel that anything less than perfect performance was a failure. c.

Strategies to Cope with CA Having several symptoms, both participants had to handle their anxieties.

They would come up with some strategies to cope with CA they experienced. Generally, three approaches to the alleviation of anxiety are cognitive, affective and behavioral approaches (Hembree, 1988 in Kondo & Ying-Ling, 2004). Both participants in my study tried to relax and to think positively. In addition, Petra also tried to do preparation. According to Kondo and Ying-ling (2004), relaxation is characterized by its affective quality in that it aims at alleviating bodily tension associated with emotional arousal. Positive thinking is an attempt to suppress or alter problematic thought processes related to language learning, and thus can be subsumed into cognitive strategies. Moreover, preparation can be considered as a behavioral strategy because it focuses on behavioral components of language learning that are related to effective performance in class. 69


1)

Relaxation It has been explained previously that Venita and Petra experienced physical

symptoms of CA. To cope with them, each of them tried to calm down by taking a deep breath. When I asked what Venita did at that time, she said I took a deep breath. It was for calming down myself. I knew, the more I thought negatively, the faster my heart beat. And I would get more confused. So, if my heart beat faster and faster. I made a pause to take a deep breath then continued my speech. (Intrvw1_V69) When I asked what Petra did at that time, she said I inhaled deeply then exhaled… (Intrvw1_P80) What my participants did was in line with what Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004) state that if students who believe that somatic arousal (physical responses to anxiety) is the main concern, they may find ways to ease bodily reactions and tension. 2)

Positive Thinking When Venita had negative thought that is underestimating her competence

to do the impromptu speech, she tried to think positively specifically by trying to be confident and believing her own competence. She added By taking a deep breath, I was more relaxed. After I took a deep breath, I said to myself “I can. I can. I can.” So, it was like a suggestion from the inside that I could do the speech well. I had to be able to turn my negative thought into positive thought. (Intrvw1_V71) It was revealed before that not only Venita, but Petra also underestimated her competence to do the presentation. Interestingly, she also tried to think

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positively. She expressed that she thought positively specifically by believing her own competence. …I tried to put aside my negative thought with this thought “Yes, I can. I can. I can do this presentation well. I have memorized all the things last night.” (Intrvw1_P80) Believing one’s own compentence was an indicator of self-efficacy. Though their CA seemed to affect their self-efficacy, both participants could handle with it. The participants surely had reasons of choosing this way to cope with their CA. The reasons would be explained in the third theme. Moreover, what my participants did was in line with what Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004) state that if students think that their cognition creates anxiety, they may attempt to suppress or alter the thought processes related to language learning. 3)

Preparation Knowing that she was easy to get nervous, Petra made preparations for her

presentation. It was her benefits that she knew the topic and had fixed presentation schedule. According to Kondo and Ying-Ling (2004), preparation can be considered as a behavioral strategy because it focuses on behavioral components of language learning that are related to effective performance in class. Petra told me Basically, I was easy to get nervous. So, I made preparations for the presentation. It was for CLS class. I made preparations one day before the presentation day. At that time, I thought that I would be able to do the presentation well by doing few practices... (Intrvw1_P67)

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2.

Struggle with Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) While the participants were speaking in front of the class and experiencing

CA, they were experiencing FNE as well. This section covers a big theme dealing with their experience of FNE. The theme had three subthemes which described the substantive areas of how they struggled with FNE. The three subthemes were: (1) causes of FNE, (2) manifestation of FNE and (3) strategies to cope with FNE. a.

Causes of FNE Lecturer’s characteristics as well as classmates’ characteristics became the

major causes why the participants thought that they would be negatively evaluated. 1)

Lecturer’s Characteristics Horwitz et al. (1986) state that fear of negative evaluation is triggered by the

teacher as a fluent speaker and the classmates. According to Venita, she liked the lecturer’s personalities but the lecturer’s attentiveness to details made her afraid of being negatively evaluated by the lecturer. She described My lecturer was very detail when she came to the grading. She paid attention on the gesture. That made my heart beat faster. I thought gestures did not always show that we were nervous. Sometimes it was just a reflex action. But my lecturer always said in the class that it was not good to have unneeded gestures while speaking in front of people. (Intrvw1_V76) Her lecturer’s beliefs were manifested in the lecturer’s way of giving feedback. Venita said that her lecturer would correct every single mistake she or the other friends made. According to Young’s (1991) lists of teacher beliefs which have been shown to evoke feelings of anxiety in students, she stated that one of

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the beliefs is that the instructor is supposed to correct every single mistake made by the students. According to Petra’s experience, the lecturer’s way of listening to her presentation made her feel afraid of being negatively judged by the lecturer. While she was speaking in front of the class, she looked at her lecturer and thought I thought my lecturer would give me a bad grade because the lecturer was so serious. She hardly smiled. (Intrvw2_P10) When I asked what she expected from the lecturer’s reaction. She said I hoped that my lecturer smiled and did not listen to me without any reaction. If she smiled at least I knew that she was listening to my presentation. (Intrvw1_P84) 2)

Classmates’ Characteristics According to Horwitz et al. (1986), anxiety especially FNE is triggered not

only by the teacher as a fluent speaker but also the classmates. Koch and Terrell (1991) similarly state that speaking in front of the peers is another source of anxiety in learning a foreign language. In Venita’s and Petra’s experience, classmates’ characteristics became one of the major causes why the participants thought that they would be negatively evaluated. Venita told me that some of her classmates liked to underestimate other friends. She explained In my class, there were some students who were arrogant. They showed off their abilities. When I was speaking, I thought that they would give bad comments. They liked to underestimate others. It could be seen from the way they looked at me at that time. (Intrvw1_V83) Petra said the same thing but in a different way There were some friends who liked to give bad comments behind my back. (Intrvw1_P87) 73


b.

Manifestation of FNE Similar to their experience of CA, Venita and Petra also experienced several

symptoms when they were afraid of being negatively evaluated by the lecturer and friends. The participants in this study experienced the symptoms of FNE differently. Venita experienced a physical symptom whereas Petra experienced a psychological symptom. The manifestation experienced by both participants showed that realizing the presence of the lecturer and friends and the thought that they might be negatively evaluated by the lecturer and friends worsened the situations. 1)

Physical Symptom Being afraid of being negatively evaluated by the lecturer and some friends,

Venita’s heart beat faster than before. She said that her lecturer was very detail when she came to the grading. Her lecturer paid attention on the gesture. That made Venita’s heart beat faster. She also thought that some friends would give bad comments since they liked to underestimate others. When I ask whether afraid of being negatively evaluated by her classmates, she said That made my heart beat faster than before. (Intrvw1_V85) 2)

Psychological Symptoms Being afraid of being negatively evaluated by the lecturer, Petra told me that

she became more nervous. When she experienced CA, she went blank and had a memory difficulty. When she experienced FNE, she went blanker. She said What I wanted to say suddenly disappeared. I forgot the material. (Intrvw2_P12)

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Interestingly, the symptom when she was afraid of being negatively evaluated by her lecturer was similar with the symptom when she was afraid of being negatively evaluated by her classmates. She said once again, “I forgot the material” (Intrvw2_P16). c.

Strategies to Cope with FNE The symptoms that have been explained in the previous subtheme led both

participants to handle their FNE. Generally, three approaches to the alleviation of anxiety are cognitive, affective and behavioral approaches (Hembree, 1988 in Kondo & Ying-Ling, 2004). Each participant in my study came up with a strategy to cope with the FNE they experienced. 1)

Relaxation To cope with FNE caused by the lecturer, Venita used affective strategy

specifically by doing relaxation. Venita who physically experienced rapid heartbeat tried to relax by taking a deep breath. She stated I tried to relax. I took a deep breath. (Intrvw2_V8) 2)

Positive Thinking Petra who experienced psychological symptoms used cognitive strategy

specifically by thinking positively. She expressed I tried to think positively that I could do the presentation well. (Intrvw2_P13) 3)

Ignoring Interestingly, to cope with FNE caused by the classmates, both participants

used the same strategy. They tended to ignore the thought that they would be 75


negatively evaluated by their friends. It was interesting because this strategy does not belong to one of the strategies proposed by Hembree (1988) or Kondo & Ying-Ling (2004). Venita stated I ignored it. It bothered me but I tried to ignore it. I tried not to think about it. It was not the time to think about it. (Intrvw1_V86) Petra also similarly stated I tried to ignore it though sometimes it distracted me. (Intrvw2_P17) I could conclude that both participants tended to cope with FNE in positive ways instead of negative ways. This fact was in contrast with Aida’s (1994, p. 157) idea that in foreign language classrooms, students with FNE “tend to sit passively in the classroom, withdrawing from classroom activities that could otherwise enhance their improvement of the language skills or even cutting class to avoid anxiety situations.” 3.

Reasons of Choosing The Coping Strategies The participants in this study had some reasons why they chose certain

strategies to cope with CA and FNE. When I asked why Venita chose the strategies, she said At that time, I was hopeless, really hopeless. I saw the other friends who had given the speech before me. They could deliver the speech smoothly. Why couldn’t I? I also wanted to get a good grade in the course. Those things helped me calm down myself. (Intrvw1_V74) When I asked why Petra chose the strategies, she expressed Because I wanted to be able to speak English and wanted to get a good grade. If I kept thinking negatively, I would not be able to do the presentation well and would not be able to speak English until the end. If I

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thought positively, at least I tried to think that I could do the presentation well. Who knew? (Intrvw1_P82) Venita and Petra stated clearly that the reason was to get a good grade in the course. Venita also stated clearly that she wanted to be as good as the other friends who had given the speech before her. It was interesting fact since previous researcher like Bailey (1983) and Young (1991) concluded that anxiety can be caused and aggravated by the learners’ competitiveness when they see themselves as less proficient than the object of comparison. In Venita’s experience, this competitiveness helped her to cope with CA and FNE. Getting good grades and wanting to be as good as other friends belong to extrinsic motivation. “Extrinsic motivation is a construct that pertains whenever an activity is done in order to attain some separable outcome” (Deci & Ryan, 2000, p. 60). According to Wigfield (1997), extrinsic motivation variable is the sum of a recognition, grades and competition in learning. Moreover, Petra wanted to be able to speak English. In other word, she wanted to enhance her English speaking skill. Therefore, it could be inferred that she was motivated intrinsically. “Intrinsic motivation is defined as the doing of an activity for inherent satisfactions rather than for some separable consequences” (Deci & Ryan, 2000, p. 56). In this case, the Petra’s need was to develop her skill in speaking English. The relationship between language motivation and language anxiety has been investigated by some researchers. Language anxiety was found to be negatively related to motivation (Gardner et al., 1987; Hashimoto, 2002; Yang, Liu & Wu, 2010; Liu & Huang, 2011). Clement, Dornyei and Noels (1994) found

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that learners who are more motivated to learn language are usually less anxious learners. However, it was worth noticing that it was also possible for the learners to have high level of motivation and high level of anxiety at the same time like both participants in this study. According to Venita’s and Petra’s experience, their motivation could help them to cope with the CA and FNE they experienced. The controversy of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation has been exposed by many researchers (Deci & Ryan, 1985; Gottfried, 1990; Ushioda, 1996; Noels, Clement & Pelletier, 2001; Moneta & Spada, 2009). Students who are intrinsically motivated to learn are still believed to be more persistent in language learning, and this persistence contributes to the students’ performances and achievements. On the contrary, students who are extrinsically motivated by expected rewards increase their effort to complete the task and earn an incentive. Besides the controversy of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, the experience of the participants in this study suggested that both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation appeared to help the participants to cope with CA and FNE. It was important to note that not only intrinsic motivation, but also extrinsic motivation was found to be important in coping with CA and FNE. 4.

Impacts of the Experience Both participants of my study told me that their experience brought impacts

to them. The experience brought a negative as well as a positive impact to Venita. Negatively, she felt so stupid of forgetting some trivial things. She was not satisfied with her performance then after that she was lack of self-confidence. This kind of effect belongs to one of MacIntyre et al.’s (1998) list that, personally, language learning experience could, under some circumstances, become a 78


traumatic experience. This kind of unpleasant experience may dramatically disturb self-confidence as a student. Venita said I thought I was stupid because I forgot simple things. I realized it when I came back to my seat. From that moment, if I had a presentation, I would not be confident. If I was not satisfied with what I had presented, I became unconfident. (Intrvw1_V90) Positively, she was determined to prepare herself in case she had to face the same situation. According to her, the preparation was more about enriching vocabulary since knowing many vocabularies would help her in doing spontaneous speech. When I asked about what she would do after that moment, she said I studied more vocabularies. I read novels written in English in order to enrich my vocabulary. (Intrvw1_V91) She elaborated more by saying So, if I had to speak in front of the class spontaneously or not, knowing many vocabularies would make me easier to do it. (Intrvw1_V92) The experience brought positive impacts to Petra. During the presentation, she indeed felt anxious, but it did not hinder herself to be brave to speak in the other occasions. She thought if she did not brave enough, she would not be able to speak English. She said The experience affected me. But for me, the effect was good that I wanted to be better. It did not hinder me to speak. If I was not brave to speak, I would not be able to speak English until the end. (Intrvw1_P89) From that moment, she made a commitment that she would make better preparation for instance by practicing in front of the mirror, practicing with her friends, studying pronunciation and studying grammar. Even, she planned to

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speak in front of the class voluntarily if her lecturers asked her to. When I asked about what she would do after that moment, she said After that, if I had a presentation, I did some practices like talking in front of the mirror or practicing with friends though my friends were bored listening to me. But at least, I tried. If there was a voluntarily speech, I was brave to do it. I also studied pronunciation. (Intrvw1_P90) She elaborated more by saying And also the grammar. It was important. (Intrvw1_P92)

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CHAPTER V CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS This chapter is divided into three sections. The first section is the conclusions which show how the study’s findings have fulfilled the research goal of the study. The second section is the implications which describe the meaning of the study’s findings in term of theory and practice in ELS. The last section, recommendations, explores possibilities for further and future study. A.

Conclusions The goal of this study was to find the scientific truth of the highly-motivated

students’ lived experience of CA and FNE specifically by describing and interpreting their lived experience of CA and FNE. Through in-depth interviews, two participants who had high level of motivation as well as high level of CA and FNE shared their lived experience of CA and FNE. Each participant experienced CA as well as FNE when each of them had to speak in front of the class. However, CA and FNE were different types of FLA. Therefore, I explored the phenomena separately in order to gain deeper understanding. Participants’ lived experience was described then interpreted. Four major themes appeared to best reflect the highly-motivated students’ lived experience of CA and FNE. The four major themes were struggle with CA, struggle with FNE, reasons for choosing the coping strategies and impacts of the experience. The first theme, struggle with CA, included three subthemes. The first subtheme was causes of CA. It was revealed that not only classroom activity, but the participants' personal traits and participants’ beliefs were also factors causing CA.

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The personal traits included lack of self-confidence and shyness while the participants’ beliefs included the concern over the correctness of grammar, pronunciation and vocabulary. The second subtheme was manifestation of CA. They manifested their CA physically, psychologically and behaviorally. While experiencing CA, both participants had a tendency to underestimate their competence and showed their perfectionism. Moreover, for one participant in this study, the perfectionism led to self-criticism. Third subtheme was strategies to cope with CA. In coping with CA, they did relaxation and thought positively. One participant also made preparations. Having the thought that they will be negatively evaluated by the lecturer and the classmates worsened the situation. The second theme, struggle with FNE, included three subthemes. The first subtheme was causes of FNE. Lecturer’s characteristics such as attentiveness to details and the way of listening to the participants as well as classmates’ characteristics that liked to underestimate others became the major causes of particopants’ FNE. The second theme was manifestation of FNE. One of the participants experienced increased heartbeat, while the other experienced more difficulty in recalling what she had memorized. The third subtheme was strategies to cope with FNE. To cope with FNE caused by the lecturer, the participant who experienced rapid heartbeat tried to take a deep breath to calm down herself while the other one tried to think positively. To cope with FNE caused by the classmates, both participants tried to ignore the thought that they will be negatively evaluated by the classmates. I was keen on exploring the participants’ way of coping the CA and FNE as well as the participants’ reasons of chosing the coping strategies. The third theme

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was reasons for choosing coping strategies. One participant shared that she chose the coping strategy because she wanted to get a good grade in the speaking class and wanted to be as good as her friends who had previously given the presentation. The other participant told me that she wanted to get a good grade in the speaking class and wanted to enhance her speaking skill. Their reasons actually showed their motivation since motivation is concerned with one’s reasons for learning the language. Getting good grades and wanting to be as good as other friends belong to extrinsic motivation whereas enhancing English speaking skill belongs to intrinsic motivation. The fourth theme was impacts of the experience. The experience brought positive impacts to one participant. For the other participant, the experience brought a positive impact as well as a negative impact. If I could make a short conclusion here, the anxiety would be always there though the participant had prepared themselves. Highly-motivated participats still had high possibility in experiencing anxiety spesifically CA and FNE. Both participants had reasons or goals in learning. Therefore, they would be able to cope with the anxiety. Though the speech and presentation were short in duration, their processes were

indeed

complex

phenomena.

It

includes

participants'

physical,

psychological, and behavioral aspects. Some findings of the study confirmed the previous theories and other previous studies’ findings. They were related to causes of CA and FNE, manifestation of CA and FNE and strategies to cope with CA and FNE. First, in relation to causes of CA and FNE, my study’s findings confirmed the previous theories and other previous studies’ findings that CA was caused by learners’ personal traits, learners’ beliefs and classroom activity. Besides, FNE

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was caused by teachers’ characteristics and classmates’ characteristics. Previous theories had focused on the causes of FLA in general without investigating further which factors tended to cause which type of FLA. Second, in relation to manifestation of CA and FNE, my study’s findings confirmed the previous theories and other previous studies’ findings that CA and FNE were manifested physically, psychologically and behaviorally. Third, in relation to coping strategies of CA and FNE, my study’s findings confirmed the previous theories and other previous studies’ findings that CA and FNE could be handled by using cognitive, affective and behavioral strategies. In addition, this study revealed more deeply three ideas that had been proposed by previous researchers. First, it had been proposed that classroom activity was one of the factors causing FLA. From this study’s findings, it was identified that prepared or unprepared speaking activity might determine the manifestation of CA especially the psychological ones. The participant who had made preparations might tend to suffer from poor memory recall. Second, CA could be manifested by underestimating self-competence. Believing selfcompetence is strongly related to self-efficacy. In this case, CA seemed to affect the participants’ self-efficacy. Third, perfectionism as manifestation of CA might be influenced by students' beliefs. The perfectionism was not easy to be handled. For one participant in this study, it gave negative impacts such as self-criticism and lack of self-confidence. Four new findings emerged from this study. They were considered new since no previous researchers found and explored more about these aspects. First, ignoring classmates’ negative evaluation was one possible way to cope with FNE.

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Second, the possible characters of lecturer that might cause FNE were lecturer’s attentiveness to details and the lecturer’s way of listening to the presentation. Third, the experience might bring a positive impact that is preparation for the upcoming presentation or speech. The last and the most important was that motivation seemed to have an important role in helping the participants cope with CA and FNE. Not only was the intrinsic motivation found to be important in coping with CA and FNE, but also the extrinsic motivation. Motivation also seemed to help participants maintain their self-efficacy. Motivation and selfefficacy seemed to work together especially in coping with CA. B.

Implications The findings of the study had two implications related to theory in ELS.

First, the theory of FLA spesifically CA and FNE should be more developed by finding out further possible causes, manifestation and coping strategies besides the available ones. I said this based on the findings that emerged in my study. For example, I found that my participants chose to ignore the feeling and the thought of being negatively evaluated by their classmates. This kind of coping strategies had not been covered in the literature. Second, the findings of the study implied that the deeper analysis of each aspect should be achieved in order to enrich the available theories. One of the examples was the deeper analysis of perfectionism. Perfectionism as manifestation of CA might be influenced by students' beliefs. For one participant in this study, it gave negative impacts such as self-criticism and lack of self-confidence. The findings of the study had implications related to practice in ELS. The first thing that educators and students should do was to be aware of the existence 85


of CA and FNE in teaching and learning process in the classroom. Thus, educators were expected to help the students learn to cope with the anxietyprovoking situations. Three possible ways would be discussed. First, for anxiety stemming from students’ beliefs, educators might have students recognize their beliefs and might discuss with students reasonable expectations for successful in language learning. Second, educators should also be aware of some aspects that might seem trivial but they could trigger students’ FNE. It was implied that students might have some expectations toward the educators. I recommend that the educators ask students to verbalize those expectations to minimize the feeling of being negatively evaluated by the educators. Furthermore, the most important thing was to be aware of the importance of motivation in coping with CA and FNE. Educators might reassure that their students had learning goals and gave extrinsic reward if it was necessary. C.

Recommendations Three possible ways of conducting future hermeneutic phenomenological

studies were proposed in this section. First, since my study only focused on one event triggering CA and FNE, a future study exploring more than one event would be needed to develop more further and varied findings of this area of study. Second, since my study was delimited in terms of participants who had high motivation, a future study could be done by investigating lived experience of students who had varied levels of motivation. It might gain more unique lived experience and strengthen the importance of motivation in helping students cope with FLA in general or CA and FNE in particular. Third, since my study exclusively asked the participation from second-year students, a future study 86


could be done by investigating the lived experience of students from different years of study. It would be interesting to explore freshman, sophomore, junior and senior students’ lived experience of FLA in general or CA and FNE in particular since their amount of experience and proficiency differed. The results of this study might not be generalized for other various groups of students in different contexts, for example, students of other majors in Sanata Dharma University or other universities. Therefore, the need to do the similar kind of study in different context remained in order to determine the students’ particular lived experience of FLA in general or CA and FNE in particular.

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Zhang, H. (2010). An investigation of foreign language anxiety on EFL vocational high school students in China. Seminar paper, University of Wisconsin-Platteville, Wisconsin. Zheng, Y. (2008) Anxiety and second or foreign language learning revisited. Canadian Journal for New Scholars in Education, 1 (1), 1-12.

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APPENDIX 1. Adapted Questionnaire Student Number: ______________ This questionnaire features the aspects related to your motivation you have in your study. It also help you reflect how anxious you are as the language learner. I will keep all the information you provide to me completely confidential. Your answer will be very helpful and greatly appreciated for the success of this research. Thank you for your cooperation. Instruction: Please put only one tick (√) in appropriate column. All the questions are related to your study experience in ELESP. Strongly Disagree – Disagree – Neutral – Agree – Strongly Agree 1 2 3 4 5 1 1

I prefer having someone set clear goals for me in in my study.

2

I enjoy trying to solve every challenge I face during my study.

3

I am keenly aware of the goals I have for getting good grades.

4

I want my study provide me with opportunities to develop my knowledge and skills in English.

5

To me, success means doing better than other ELESP students

6

No matter what grades I get, I am satisfied if I feel I have gained experience in learning English.

7

I enjoy simple, straightforward assignments.

8

I am keenly aware of the grade point average (GPA) goals I have for myself.

9

Curiosity is the driving force behind much of what I do in my study.

10

I enjoy tackling assignments that are completely new to me.

11

I prefer assignments I know I can do well over assignments that 96

2

3

4

5


stretch my abilities. 12

I seldom think about grades and awards I can get in my study.

13

I am more comfortable when I can set my own goals in study.

14

I am strongly motivated by the grades I can earn.

15

I prefer working on assignments with clearly specified procedures.

16

I am strongly motivated by the recognition I can earn from other people.

17

I have to feel that I am earning something for what I do in teaching learning process. (e. g. I am earning participation grade for asking other friend when they do presentation)

18

I enjoy trying to solve complex assignments.

19

I want to find out how good I really can be at my study.

20

I want other people to find out how good I really can be at my study.

21

I never feel quite sure of myself when I am speaking in the class.

22

I do not worry about making mistakes in the class.

23

It frightens me when I don’t understand what the teacher is saying in the class.

24

I keep thinking that the other students are better than I am.

25

I start to panic when I have to speak without preparation in the class.

26

It embarrasses me to volunteer answers in the class. 97


27

I would not be nervous speaking English with native speakers.

28

I get upset when I don’t understand what the teacher is correcting.

29

I feel confident when I speak in the class.

30

I am afraid that my lecturer is ready to correct every mistake I make.

31

I always feel that the other students speak English better than I do.

32

I feel very self-conscious about speaking English in front of other students.

33

I get nervous and confused when I am speaking in the class.

34

I get nervous when I don’t understand every word the lecturer says.

35

I feel overwhelmed by the number of rules you have to learn to speak English.

36

I am afraid that the other students will laugh at me when I speak English.

37

I would probably feel comfortable around native speakers of English.

38

I get nervous when the lecturer asks questions which I haven’t prepared in advance.

98


APPENDIX 2. Invitation for Interview

INVITATION FOR INTERVIEW Dear ELESP students, This letter is an invitation to consider participating in a study I am conducting as part of my Master degree in the English Language Studies at Sanata Dharma University. I would like to provide you with more information about this project and what your involvement would entail if you decide to take part. I am conducting interviews as part of a research study to increase my understanding of how communication apprehension and fear of negative evaluation experienced by highly-motivated students. As an English language learner, you are in an ideal position to give me valuable first-hand information about your own experience. Participation in this study is voluntary. It will involve an interview of approximately one hour in length to take place in a mutually agreed upon location. You may decline to answer any of the interview questions if you want. Further, you may decide to withdraw from this study at any time without any negative consequences by advising the researcher. With your permission, the interview will be tape-recorded to facilitate collection of information, and later transcribed for analysis. Shortly after the interview has been completed, I will send you a copy of the transcript to give you an opportunity to confirm the accuracy of our conversation and to add or clarify any points that you wish. All information you provide is considered completely confidential. Your name will not appear in any thesis or report resulting from this study, however, with your permission anonymous quotations may be used. Thank you for your consideration. If you would like to participate, please complete the information below: Phone Number Email

: ____________________________ : ____________________________

If you have any questions regarding this study, or would like additional information to assist you in reaching a decision about participation, please contact me at 085647459303 or by e-mail at [email protected]. I very much look forward to speaking with you and thank you in advance for your assistance in this project.

With kind regards, Fika Apriliana

99


APPENDIX 3. Surat Ijin Permohonan Penelitian

100


APPENDIX 4. Questionnaire (Venita)

101


102


APPENDIX 5. Questionnaire (Petra)

103


104


APPENDIX 6. Consent Form (Venita)

105


APPENDIX 7. Consent Form (Petra)

106


APPENDIX 8. In-Depth Interview Transcript 1 (Venita)

Name

: Venita (pseudonym)

Location

: A café in Yogyakarta

Day and Date : Tuesday, 8th March 2016 : 11.00 – 12.30

Time

A few parts in the transcription related to participant’s identity were not presented for the sake of confidentiality. The parts were from R9/V9 until R31/V31. R: Researcher V: Venita Text R1

Selamat siang, dek.

V1

Selamat siang, kak.

R2

Iya jadi kan seminggu yang lalu aku masuk ke kelasmu ya… untuk membagikan kuesioner. Nah, setelah aku analisis datanya, kamu salah satu mahasiswa yang memenuhi kriteria untuk penelitianku. Dan setelah kamu mengisi kuesioner, kamu juga mengisi data di bagian invitation for interview. Jadi aku hubungin kamu dan janjian deh sama kamu di sini (laughing)

V2

Iya kak.

R3

Jadi terima kasih untuk waktunya ya… Sebelum kita ngobrol-ngobrol, ini ada consent form, jadi di sini dijelaskan tujuan dan prosedur dari penelitianku. Silahkan dibaca dulu…

V3

Oke kak. (reading the consent form). Sudah kak…

R4

Oke, jadi apa ada pertanyaan?

V4

Engga kak.

R5

Oke. Jadi hal yang terpenting adalah partisipasimu dalam penelitianku ini bersifat sukarela dan untuk semua informasi data dirimu akan dirahasiakan. Apakah kamu bersedia untuk jadi partisipanku? 107


V5

Iya kak, oke.

R6

Oke, terima kasih ya sudah mau menjadi partisipanku… Nah tolong tanda tangan disini.

V7

Oke

R8

Oke, jadi kita mulai ya interviewnya…

V8

Oke kak

R32

Oke kita kembali ke kehidupan kuliahmu, tadi kamu bilang masuk PBI sejak 2014. Bulan apa ya tepatnya?

V32

Bulannya… Juni, Juli, Agustus (counting). Iya Agustus kak.

R33

Oke Agustus ya… Kalau motivasi kamu pengen masuk PBI tuh apa?

V33

Motivasinya? Sebenarnya kan ini bukan passion aku ya kak. Tapi aku motivasinya lebih ke orang tua. Aku pengen walaupun ini bukan passion aku, tapi kan ini mempermudah aku di masa depan nantinya misalnya lowongan pekerjaan juga banyak. PBI tuh lowongan pekerjaannya luas dan aku juga mau buktiin aja ke orang tuaku kalau aku bisa di sini, aku bisa nglewatin ini dan aku bisa sukses nanti. Itu yang jadi motivasi aku.

R34

O gitu, jadi lebih ke orang tua dan lowongan pekerjaan kalau udah lulus. Tapi kamu bilang, bukan passion, lalu passionmu apa? Bisa tolong diceritakan?

V34

Aku tuh pengennya jurusan desain, tapi yang namanya mikirin orang tua mah intinya harus liat keadaan kan. Aku mikir-mikir. Papaku sih ngebolehin. Tapi aku mikir kan aku anak terakhir, kakak-kakakku masih pada kuliah. Papaku biayain 3 anak kuliah. Kalau aku ambil desain, biayanya banyak banget kak. Pertama, peralatannya tuh ya harus punya laptop yang buat desain mesti apple, beli catnya mahal-mahal dan cuma sekali pakai. Biayanya udah tinggi banget tuh di peralatannya. Ada kelas fotografi harus punya kamera SLR. Buset itu biayanya udah banget. Akhirnya aku lepas lah. Terus aku bingung mau milih apa. Papaku saranin akuntasi. Tapi papaku saranin akuntasi di UGM. Wah susah banget kan…

R35

Iya saingannya banyak. Terus kamu coba tesnya? SNMPTN atau UM 108


gitu? V35

Iya aku coba dua-duanya tapi ga masuk. Habis itu aku bingung tuh. Temen-temenku pada daftar Sadhar. Iseng-iseng aku daftar pake jalur ranking. Eh masuk. Papaku bilang PBI, pendidikan? Kamu mau jadi guru? Jaman sekarang kan guru gajinya kecil, kamu nanti malah bla bla bla… Terus ada temennya papaku bilang “bagus kok Inggrisnya Sadhar”. Papaku akhirnya tahu kan, terus bilang ke aku “ya udah kamu masuk Sadhar aja” Ga mesti jadi guru juga kan. Iya kan kak?

R36

Iya lah bebas.

V36

Ya udah akhirnya, udah di Sadhar aja. Jadi sebenarnya bukan passionku sih.

R37

Tapi sejauh ini cocok kan? Bisa mengikuti?

V37

Iya sih, Puji Tuhan bisa mengikuti.

R38

Enjoy ga sih belajar di PBI?

V38

Emmm dienjoyin (laughing)

R39

Enjoy atau ga nih? (laughing)

V39

Enjoy

R40

Enjoy ya… Enjoy karena?

V40

Karena ngikutin alur, temen-temennya juga. Sebenernya ini challenge sih buat aku, harus keluar dari zona nyaman aku kan. Di situ aku jadi tertantang buat nyelesin PBI ini. Berusaha lah, setidaknya aku udah berusaha. Dan aku orangnya ga suka hidup dibawa sedih-sedih. Misal “aduh aku tuh ga bisa” orangnya lebih ke enjoy aja lah. Kalau memang ga bisa coba dibaca, dibaca-baca terus kalau dosen tanya masih belum bisa ya udah main feeling aja.

R41

O ya oke. Dan setelah kamu belajar 4 semester, eh 3 setengah semester di PBI, apakah motivasimu berubah atau ga?

V41

Ga sih, masih sama.

R42

Oke. Ada ga motivasi lain dalam belajar di PBI?

V42

Sebenernya aku lihat temen-temenku sangat termotivasi sama nilai. IPKnya tinggi-tinggi jadi aku agak termotivasi. Aku merasa aku ga mau kalah juga. Jadi temen aku kaya gini masa aku males-malesan. Dari situ 109


aku dapet motivasi juga sih. Iya bener walaupun seenjoy-enjoynya kita, ga boleh santai banget. Ada persaingannya. Itu sih paling. Sama tementemen deketku juga. Kaya ada rasa kalau bisa lebih baik kenapa ga. R43

Jadi dengan kata lain, apakah kamu punya goal dalam belajar di PBI?

V43

Punya kak.

R44

Bisa dijelaskan apa goalmu?

V44

Ada dari awal aku mau usahain pas lulus aku bisa cumlaude.

R45

Goal itu km setting sendiri atau orang lain misalnya orang tua pengen kamu dapet IPK segitu?

V45

Aku sendiri.

R46

Oke. Kan kamu belajar sesuatu yang baru selama di PBI, gimana perasaanmu?

V46

Seneng. Waktu asik belajar terus dosennya juga enak ngejelasin kuliahnya tuh ada pikiran buat baca lagi nanti abis pulang kuliah, baca materi-materi yang akan datang dan materi-materi terkait.

R47

Kalau menghadapi challenge selama perkuliahan?

V47

Ya, misalnya aku ga suka writing. Aku orangnya ga suka nulis, lebih suka baca. Idenya susah dan di situ aku tertantang buat belajar writing. Aku coba nulis cerita-cerita walaupun cuma dikit kaya cerpen-cerpen gitu.

R48

Oke gitu ya. Nah tapi ketika kamu menjalani proses belajar mengajar di kelas, sekitar 3 setengah semester ini, kamu punya pengalaman merasakan kecemasan ga di kelas?

V48

Pernah.

R49

Pernah ya… Oke. Terakhir kali kamu merasakan itu kapan?

V49

Waktu hari Jumat kemarin.

R50

Wah masih fresh banget. Bisa ceritain kelas apa dan gimana situasinya?

V50

Jadi kalau kelas speaking kan kita maju satu-satu. Istilahnya “hot seat” Itu dinilai, kita ambil topik secara acak dan langsung mikir 15 detik langsung ngomong. Nah itu aku deg-degan banget. Karna pertama, aku ga bisa ngomong di depan umum. Ga PD juga. Terus apalagi gitu kan panik, jadi buyar semua yang mau diomongin terus grammar acak110


acakan. Vocabulary lupa. Semuanya yang bikin takut banget. R51

Jadi tanpa persiapan apapun?

V51

Iya. Dipanggilnya juga asal. Acak. Jadi kita maju ke depan kelas, ambil topik secara acak terus ngomong selama 5 menit.

R52

Terus berarti kamu dipilih acak kemarin Jumat?

V52

Ga, setiap minggu ada. Jadi setiap minggu deg-degan. Kemarin belum ditunjuk. Waktu semester 3 aku dapet topik 3 cara unik untuk pakai pensil.

R53

O jadi kamu alami itu dari semester 3?

V53

Itu malah dari semester 1.

R54

Semester 1 ada system “hot seat” juga gitu?

V54

Iya.

R55

Itu dosennya beda-beda atau?

V55

Beda-beda kak.

R56

Beda-beda tapi mereka pakai sistem yang sama?

V56

Iya, 3 semester ini sama tapi semester 2 itu terserah kita mau pilih topik apa, nentuin hari apa, mau maju kapan. Yang penting hari itu udah siap dengan topikmu. Jadi kita kaya presentasi gitu lebih tepatnya. Yang lainnya bener-bener tanpa persiapan langsung di depan kelas gitu. Kalo semester 1 topiknya lebih luas, Semester 3 lebih detail.

R57

Berarti kamu merasa cemas ketika tanpa persiapan?

V57

Iya kak.

R58

Perasaanmu gimana tuh?

V58

Deg-degan banget. Heart beats fast. Keringat dingin.

R59

Terus?

V59

Ga tenang. Aduh takut. Kaya orang panik gitu.

R60

O gitu. Lalu?

V60

Jadi susah konsentrasi, hopeless. Ya ampun kayanya susah banget. Ya ampun kayanya aku ga bisa speech lancar. Aku takut ga bisa ngomong di depan, aku blank gitu kak. Aku juga ga berani natap mata juga.

R61

Terus natap kemana?

111


V61

Aku natap ke atas atau ke bawah. Pokoknya ga berani natap ke mata. Padahal ga boleh (laughing)

R62

Terus saat itu, apa yang ada di pikiran kamu?

V62

Duh grammarnya bener ga ya. Duh aku ngomong pada ngerti ga ya. Duh aku ada yang salah ga ya vocabnya. Duh duh duh.

R63

Itu abis kamu ngomong di depan?

V63

Ga kak, itu pas aku ngomong di depan.

R64

Padahal kamu juga harus mikir abis itu mau ngomong apalagi juga kan setelahnya.

V64

Iya kak, jadi campur aduk gitu.

R65

Oke, kamu mikirin grammar, vocab gitu. Kamu mencemaskan grammar and vocab?

V65

Iya. Grammar harus bener. Harus tau banyak vocab. Oh iya, pronunciation juga kak. Kan kalau bahasa Inggris banyak kata penulisannya sama tapi pengucapannya beda.

R66

Berarti pengucapannya harus bener ya?

V66

Iya kak.

R67

Adakah pengaruh pemikiranmu saat itu terhadap kecemasan kamu?

V67

Iya, soalnya itu beban banget.

R68

Kan ada tuh orang yang cuek-cuek aja selama orang lain ngerti apa yang dia omong. Nah kalau itu beban buat kamu, lalu kamu gimana?

V68

Kalau aku lebih ke grammarnya si aku. Kaya ada rasa cemas banget aduh grammar karena menurutku grammar paling susah, gimana ya kita tuh udah pelajarin terus tapi kok ya masih bingung terus. Ribet banget grammarnya. Kalau kaya kita ngomong bahasa Indonesia kata kemarin kan sama aja. Ga ada penambahan apa-apa, ga ada yang diganti ke past tense atau future. Kalau pronounce sih emang aku ga gitu membebani ya selama orang itu ngerti apa yang kita omongin.

R69

Nah, itu yang kamu pikirkan, tadi kamu juga udah share perasaanmu gimana pas ngrasain itu. Terus apa yang kamu lakukan, dek?

V69

Aku langsung tarik nafas dalam-dalam. Buat tenangin diri. Kalau negative thinking gitu makin deg-degan kan. Makin bingung gitu kan. 112


Jadi pas aku udah bener-bener deg-degan. Aku tarik nafas dulu baru nglanjutin lagi. R70

Oh gitu. Karna pas itu mau ga mau kamu harus presentasi topikmu ya?

V70

Iya.

R71

Adakah cara lainnya?

V71

Udah sih kayaknya karna dari situ jadi bikin lebih tenang. Setelah tarik nafas dalam-dalam dan bilang “bisa, bisa, bisa” jadi kaya ada suggestion dari dalam diri gitu kalo bisa nglewatin presentasi dengan lancar. Aku harus bisa ganti negative thinking itu jadi positive thinking.

R72

Ini pengalamanmu bukan Jumat kemarin kan ya? Kaya yang tadi kamu bilang.

V72

Iya bukan soalnya kemarin Jumat baru mulai dan aku belum dapet giliran.

R73

Berarti ini recall your experience pas semester berapa?

V73

Semester 3 kak.

R74

Saat itu kenapa kamu mengatasinya dengan cara-cara itu?

V74

Di situ aku mikir waktu udah ga tenang gitu kan. Udah hopeless benerbener hopeless. Aku liat temen-temen sebelumnya. Duh mereka bisa lancar masa aku ga. Dari temen-temenku itu juga dan juga aku harus dapet nilai bagus di mata kuliah ini. Jadi karna hal-hal itu bantu aku buat nenangin diri. Gitu.

R75

O jadi temen sama nilai gitu ya?

V75

Yap.

R76

Kalau dari situasi kelas speakingmu itu ya. Dosenmu gimana di kelas itu saat itu?

V76

Orangnya menurutku teliti banget kalau nilai. Jadi dia itu nilai gesture tubuhnya, jadi itu bikin deg-degan juga karena dia juga komentarin hal itu juga. Padahal itu kan reflek kan gitu. Bukan berarti kita nervous banget juga tapi kan itu reflek sedangkan dia tuh bilang “ga bagus kaya gitu kalau ngomong formal di depan orang lain kaya gitu.”

R77

O gitu ya. Nah selain dia yang melarang untuk buat gesture berlebihan, dosenmu menurut kamu gimana sih? 113


V77

Dia correct every single mistake.

R78

Jadi interrupt gitu atau?

V78

Jadi abis maju gitu langsung dikasih feedback. Feedbacknya biasanya kaya gini ke temen-temenku yang sebelumnya presentasi “saya suka cara kamu memperluas topik itu atau mendetailkan topik itu, cara kamu ambil ide-ide, cara kamu pembukaan, cara kamu penutupan. Jadi dia tuh detail nilainya dan emang dia tuh bener-bener… misalnya “jangan langsung knocking the door” Jangan langsung to the point. Harusnya tuh ada pembukaan dulu.

R79

Oke jadi dosenmu gitu ya…

V79

Iya bagusnya tuh kasih feedback jadi kita tahu apa yang harus kita perbaikin. Dosen-dosen sebelumnya ga. Jadi kita maju terus dinilai gitu.

R80

Jadi menurut kamu feedback itu penting ya?

V80

Yap, penting banget.

R81

Nah kalau lebih ke sifat, sifat dosenmu tuh kaya gimana?

V81

Dosenku tuh menurutku dosen yang bisa mengerti anak-anak, mengerti murid-muridnya. Jadi dia tuh ada kemauan buat mengenal anakanaknya secara mendalam. Jadi kaya mau nghafalin namanya, mukanya. Biasanya dosen kan cuek ya. Kalo dosenku ini aku liat ngajarnya tuh dengan pendekatan mandalam dan menurutku itu paling pengaruh sih daripada yang lainnya. Mungkin karena dia juga belajar BK kan jadinya dia tahu cara yang pas buat muridnya tuh nyaman belajar sama dia, seneng belajar sama dia.

R82

Nah masih tentang dosen ya. Jadi kamu kan merasa cemas ga cuma sekali dua kali ya pastinya. Dosen seperti apa sih yang kamu harapkan tidak membuat gugup atau bisa membantu kamu mengatasi kegugupan itu?

V82

Ya itu sih, yang kasih feedback. Dan dosen itu mau ngajarinnya sabar. Dan dosen yang mendekati itu ya dosenku speaking itu sih. Kalau yang lain tuh cek cek cek gitu.

R83

Kalau classmate, temenmu sendiri, apa yang kamu pikirkan tentang temen-temenmu waktu kamu lagi cemas di depan kelas gitu? 114


V83

Kan ada beberapa anak yang di kelasku yang emang sombong gitu lah. Show off banget kemampuannya dia. Di situ aku cuma mikir sih mungkin anak itu mikir “apaan sih, ngomongnya gini-gini” pasti kaya komentar gitu. Mereka agak suka ngrendahin orang gitu sih. Misal dari tatapannya kan keliatan gitu kak.

R84

Temenmu yang show off itu emang pintar atau ga pintar tapi meremehkan?

V84

Ga semua, jadi di kelasku ada 2 anak yang emang sering bareng juga. Mereka berdua nih pintar cuma kadang sok tahu dan show off duaduanya.

R85

Berarti kamu merasa mungkin mereka menilai kamu negatif ya? Terus efeknya pas kamu di depan kelas?

V85

Itu buat aku makin deg-degan. Bikin nervous.

R86

Gimana kamu mengatasi penilaian temen-temenmu itu?

V86

Aku cuek. Kepikiran tapi tetep berusaha cuek. Aku berusaha jangan mikirin dulu. Itu bukan saatnya dipikirin sekarang. Kaya gitu sih.

R87

Berarti cuekin aja gitu ya?

V87

Iyap.

R88

Terus kalau temen-temenmu yang pinter yang lain?

V88

Biasa aja mereka.

R89

Overall, temen-temenmu di kelasmu itu gimana sih orangnya?

V89

Ya mereka kalo ada yang presentasi ya dengerin, kalo ada yang lucu ya ketawa. Mereka ga menekan aku sih. Cuma kalau lagi nervous kan pikiran negatif keluar semua tuh dan di situ tantangan aku buat ngubah pikiran negatif itu dan ningkatin percaya diriku.

R90

Oke semua tadi kan pengalamanmu ya, nah setelah mengalami itu, ada ga sih pengaruh ke depannya?

V90

Aku ngerasa pas hot seat itu kok aku bodoh banget, gini aja kok lupa. Kan pas aku sadarnya pas udah selesai, pas kembali ke tempat duduk. Di situ ke depannya kalau aku presentasi jadi ga PD. Kalau aku ga puas sama yang aku presentasiin, jadi buat ga PD gitu.

R91

O gitu ya… Setelah kamu mengalami hal kaya gitu apa yang kamu 115


lakukan ke depannya? V91

Ini sih… belajar banyak vocab. Aku banyak baca novel Inggris biar nambah vocab.

R92

Jadi menurutmu kuncinya vocab?

V92

Iya, jadi kalau maju spontan atau ga spontan, itu bisa mempermudah aku kalau tahu vocabnya.

R93

Berarti kalau mau preparation berarti lebih ke vocab gitu ya?

V93

Iya paling belajar-belajar vocab.

R94

Kamu punya pengalaman yang lain ga yang mengena selain hot seat di kelas speaking itu?

V94

Pas itu sih yang paling mengena. Pas kelas speaking.

R95

Nah kalau di kelas yang lain?

V95

Listening sih, karena listeningku ga gitu bagus. Susah buat aku denger native speakernya ngomong cepet banget tuh. Ada cemas juga sih tapi ga semenegangkan pas kelas speaking itu karena aku ga biasa ngomong di depan umum. Takut banget kalau ngomong di depan umum.

R96

Sama dong (laughing). Kalau presentasi yang lain selain hot seat gimana?

V96

Kalau presentasi yang lain ga gitu cemas karena ada persiapan. Nah kalau hot seat kan ga ada persiapan. Ga tau topiknya, ga tau apa yang mau diomongin. Majunya juga ga ditentuin segala macem.

R97

Oh jadi kalau di kelas lain, kalau presentasi tapi ada preparation kamu merasa cemas ga?

V97

Cemas tapi dikit.

R98

Berarti ga secemas pas hot seat itu ya?

V98

Yap. Karena ada persiapan.

R99

Oke. Kalau kita tarik kesimpulan, aktifitas di kelas seperti apa sih yang bisa membuat kamu merasa cemas?

V99

Kalau berbicara di depan kelas tanpa persiapan.

R100

Ada ga aktifitas lain?

V100

Mungkin kalau ujian lisan. Walaupun persiapan tapi cemasnya itu ga

116


bisa jawab karna face to face sama dosen. R101

Tapi ga setiap mata kuliah ada ujian lisan kan?

V101

Ga kak.

R102

Oke makasih banyak waktunya ya. Kurang lebih itu aja yang aku mau tanyakan ke kamu. Makasih udah mau sharing pengalamanmu ya. Sukses terus and keep in touch.

V102

Oke kak, sama-sama.

117



Name


Day and Date : Monday, 11th April 2016 : 17.38 – 19.25

Time

The interview was done through online chatting via LINE application. R: Researcher V: Venita Text R1

Hai Ven! Apa kabar? Lagi sibuk ga?

V1

Baik kak. Engga kak.

R2

Mau nanya-nanya lagi nih, untuk melengkapi interview kita waktu itu.

V2

Boleh-boleh tanya aja.

R3

Ven, pengalamanmu yang kamu ceritakan ke aku pas di semester 3 kan ya? Impromptu nama kelasnya apa? Spesifiknya.

V3

Iya kak. Impromptu speech itu selalu ada di kelas speaking. Dari semester 1. Kalau yang semester 3 itu namanya Critical Listening and Speaking.

R4

Oke siap. Di semester 3 itu kamu dapat topik apa? Bisa ceriatin waktu itu kamu presentasinya gimana? Singkat aja.

V4

Itu aku dapat topik 3 unique ways to use pencil except for writing and drawing. Itu aku bingung kan kak mau ngomong apa. Yaudah aku asal ngomong aja. Aku bilang 1. Buat mengikat rambut. Ini sering banget aku lakuin soalnya. Kaya konde orang Cina gitu. Nah terus aku praktekin di depan kelas. 2. Aku udah bingung banget nih. Akhirnya nyeplos buat makan mie sebagai pengganti sumpit. 3. Yang terakhir… aku udah agak speechless gitu di depan.

118


Akhirnya nyeplos “you can use pencil to entertain yourselves” terus aku jelasin deh pensil bisa jadi barang buat mainan kaya sulap-sulapan, lempar pensil ke atas lalu ditangkap lagi. Semacam itu deh. R5

Pokoknya yang penting ngomong ya.

V5

Iya kak, karna kalau diem mikir gitu malah ngurangin nilai. Jadi dibawa asik gitu.

R6

Ven, masih ingat feedback dari dosenmu saat itu?

V7

Seingetku ya kak. Katanya bagus karena di awal memulai dengan bilang “pensil bisa dipakai buat apa aja lho selain buat gambar atau nulis” Terus bagus juga karna aku praktekin ngiket rambutnya dan mainin pensilnya. Yang kurang vocabnya masih kurang. Grammar juga. Terus gesturenya juga. Katanya kebanyakan gerak-gerak.

R8

Oke-oke. Ngomong-ngomong gesture, kamu bilang kalau dosenmu orang yang teliti banget sampai nilai gesture tubuh dan itu buat kamu deg-degan. Cara kamu mengatasi itu gimana Ven?

V8

Iya kak teliti banget. Aku mencoba rileks aja. Tarik nafas gitu.

R9

Oke. Kenapa tarik nafas dan mencoba cuek sama penilaian negatif teman-teman?

V9

Iya aku berusaha jangan mikirin dulu. “Itu bukan saatnya dipikirin sekarang.” Yang penting aku bisa ngomong dulu dan gimana caranya bisa dapet nilai bagus di kelas.

R10

Lalu apa ada feedback, komentar atau pertanyaan dari temantemanmu?

V10

Ga ada kak. Emang cuma kita yang ngomong terus dikomentari dosen. Udah deh.

R11

Pas kamu struggle mengatasi kecemasanmu saat presentasi dan berada di depan dosen dan teman-temanmu, gimana prosesnya? Sulitkah? Mudahkah?

V11

Sulit. Soalnya cenderung mikir negatif tapi tetep berusaha buat PD.

R12

Oke dengan pengalaman-pengalamanmu mengatasi kecemasan di dalam kelas terutama saat presentasi, pernahkah mengalami 119


kegagalan buat mengatasi kecemasanmu? V12

Ga pernah sih kak.

R13

Oke-oke. Lagi sibuk UTS ya?

V13

Iya kak.

R14

Oke semangat ya! Sorry ganggu kamu lagi persiapan UTS. Gitu aja dulu informasi yang aku tanyakan. Thanks ya.

V14

Oke kak. Sama-sama.

120



Name


Location


Day and Date : Tuesday, 17th May 2016 : 11.30 – 12.00

Time R: Researcher V: Venita

Text R1

Halo Ven!

V1

Halo, kak.

R2

Akhirnya kita ketemu lagi. (laughing)

V2

Iya kak. (laughing)

R3

Oke. Jadi aku mau make sure dan tanya beberapa hal nih. Dikit aja.

V3

Oke kak.

R4

Ven, waktu itu aku minta kamu ceritakan pengalaman terakhirmu merasa begitu cemas di dalam proses belajar mengajar di dalam kelas. Dan apakah itu juga yang paling cemas selama ini?

V4

Iya kak.

R5

Selama semester 3 atau selama semester 1 sampai 3?

V5

Selama semester 1 sampai 3. Itu gara-gara dosennya sih. Detail banget.

R6

O gitu. Oke-oke. Waktu itu kamu bilang kalau ga puas kamu jadi ga PD kedepannya. Emang speech yang gimana sih yang buat kamu puas?

V6

Emmm… pas ngomong lancar, grammar rapi, ga lupa vocab atau pakai vocab yang banyak dan ide-idenya tertata gitu lho kak. Kalau udah kembali ke tempat duduk tuh baru sadar “kenapa tadi ga ngomong gini aja.”

R7

O iya kamu mengatasi dengan cara positive thinking. Sebenernya positive thinking seperti apa sih? Spesifiknya…

V7

Lebih kaya berusaha lebih PD sama percaya sama kemampuanku kak.

121


R8

Oke gitu ya. Kalau aku bisa mengajukan pertanyaan terakhir nih ya. What does the experience mean to you? Seperti apa dan apa artinya pengalaman itu buat kamu?

V8

Pengalaman itu pengalaman yang memorable. Melatih aku buat PD meskipun pada dasarnya aku ga PDan.

R9

Oke siap. Thank you Venita!

V9

Oke kak.

122


APPENDIX 11. In-Depth Interview Transcript 1 (Petra)

Name

: Petra (pseudonym)

Location


Day and Date : Tuesday, 8th March 2016 : 16.00 – 17.30

Time

A few parts in the transcription related to participant’s identity were not presented for the sake of confidentiality. The parts were from R9/P9 until R46/P46. R: Researcher P: Petra Text R1

Hai, dek.

P1

Hai, mbak.

R2

Minggu lalu aku masuk ke kelasmu untuk membagikan kuesioner. Masih inget ya?

P2

Iya mbak.

R3

Nah, setelah aku analisis datanya, kamu salah satu mahasiswa yang memenuhi kriteria untuk penelitianku. Tapi kebetulan kamu ga isi data di invitation for interview. Jadi aku hubungin kamu lewat facebook dan janjian deh di sini. Makasih untuk waktunya ya…

P3

Iya mbak sama-sama.

R4

Sebelum kita ngobrol-ngobrol lebih panjang, ini ada consent form, jadi di sini dijelaskan tujuan dan prosedur dari penelitianku. Silahkan dibaca dulu…

P4

Oke mbak. (reading the consent form)

R5

Setelah kamu baca, kamu bisa menanyakan hal-hal yang belum jelas. Kalau hal yang terpenting itu bahwa partisipasimu ini bersifat sukarela tanpa paksaan dan semua informasi tentang data dirimu bersifat rahasia. Gitu…

123


P5

Oh gitu. Oke…

R6

Nah setelah kamu baca nih. Apakah kamu bersedia untuk jadi partisipanku? Karena kebetulan kamu ga isi invitation for interview yang udah aku lampirkan waktu itu.

P7

Iya mbak bersedia.

R8

Oke, terima kasih ya sudah mau menjadi partisipanku… Nah tolong tanda tangan disini.

P8

Oke.

R47

Kapan masuk PBI?

P47

Tahun 2014.

R48

Pas kamu masuk PBI itu, apa motivasi kamu? Kenapa kamu memilih PBI?

P48

Emm… Sebenernya motivasinya itu dulu pas aku les kelas 4, guruku bilang “kamu tuh ga bisa bahasa Inggris” mungkin karena saat itu aku dijelasin ga ngerti-ngerti. Namanya juga bahasa asing ya mbak.

R49

Terus?

P49

Soalnya temen-temenku yang lain, 2 cowok itu diajarin bisa. Mungkin gurunya agak kesal kenapa aku kok ga bisa-bisa. Kaya gitu. Terus aku pengen buktiin kalo aku bisa bahasa Inggris.

R50

Oh gitu?

P50

Iya jadi dari kelas 4 masih kebawa sampe sekarang.

R51

Oalah sampai terbawa sampai sekarang ya. Kamu masih sering ketemu gurumu itu?

P51

Ga sih mbak. Tapi suatu saat nanti kalau ketemu dia aku pengen buktiin kalau “aku bisa pak”. Meskipun waktu masuk PBI tuh ternyata PBI susah.

R52

Iya unggulan juga kan. Jadi susahnya di mana menurut kamu?

P52

Ya tugas-tugasnya. Aku juga susah bagi waktu di kampus dan gereja kepanitiaan gitu. Sampai ada yang ditinggal. Biasanya kegiatan gereja yang aku tinggal. Sampai dimarahin temen gerejaku. Tapi gimana acara di kampus juga besar jadi ga mungkin ditinggalin.

R53

Gitu ya? Jadi motivasimu lebih karena gurumu pas dulu kamu kelas 4 124


SD itu? P53

Iya itu.

R54

Terus ketika kamu menjalani sampai semester 4 gitu kan. Apakah ada perubahan terhadap motivasimu?

P54

Pengen membanggakan orang tua. Dan katanya kalau di PBI kan, lulusannya kalau cari kerja kan terjamin. Jadi misalnya kerja jadi translater di perminyakan atau di mana gitu. Atau kerja di perhotelan gitu.

R55

Oh jadi karena lowongan kerja gitu ya?

P55

Iya mbak.

R56

Terus kamu enjoy ga belajar di PBI?

P56

So far sih enjoy-enjoy aja mbak. Kalau awalnya tuh kok aku sendirian ga ada teman. Tapi semakin kita tahu, semakin kenal, tahu IPnya segini. Ketika sharing-sharing sama teman jadi tahu “oh ga cuma aku sendiri yang mengalami” Kalau dosennya tuh ada yang jelasinnya ga jelas. Aku ga ngerti-ngerti. Itu dosen linguistics mbak. Jadi nilaiku C. Aduh pusing. Terus ada dosen yang beberapa standarnya ketinggian. Kaya gitu juga.

R57

Tp so far enjoy ya?

P57

Iya mbak.

R58

Kita spesifikkan lagi ya, kamu punya goal dalam belajar bahasa Inggris? Oke nantinya kamu pengen membahagiakan orang tua dan mendapat pekerjaan, tapi goal yang lebih spesifik yang paling pengen kamu raih sekarang apa?

P58

Iya. Pengen bisa ngomong bahasa Inggris sama bule mbak. Kalau ketemu bule, aku pengen ngobrol. Tapi kalau udah ketemu orangnya udah nervous duluan mbak.

R59

Jadi maksudmu apa lebih meningkatkan speaking skill gitu kah?

P59

Iya bener mbak speaking skill.

R60

Siapa yang set goal itu?

P60

Aku sendiri.

R61

Sendiri ya… Oke adakah motivasi yang lain? 125


P61

Mungkin IPK ya mbak. Pengennya 3,5 lulus nanti minimal. Meskipun sebenernya aku belum pernah punya IPK 3,5 sampai semester 3 kemarin. Kadang minder juga sama temen-temen di kelas yang punya IP bagus-bagus kayanya aku ga bisa sendiri gitu lho. Ada kakak kelas yang bilang kalau di bawah 3,5 tuh kaya gimana gitu, ga pinter-pinter banget. Kan aku ngerasa “selama ini aku udah usaha terus apa artinya” kadang aku sering mikir gitu lho mbak.

R62

Ada yang lain?

P62

Pujian dari teman sih. Ketika temen-temen memuji kita tuh kaya meningkatkan kepercayaan diriku. Kaya gitu.

R63

Lebih termotivasi mana mengembangkan skill atau mendapatkan IPK itu?

P63

Emm… sebenernya mungkin IPK 3,5. Ga tau kepengen aja dapat IPK segitu.

R64

IP 3,5 itu pas lulus atau IP per semester?

P64

Pengennya sih tiap semester juga.

R65

Oke, kamu udah ceritain motivasimu belajar di PBI. Nah sekarang kita fokuskan ke pembelajaran di dalam kelas. Nah, ketika kamu menjalani semester 1-4, ya selama 3 setengah semester ini. Pernah ga kamu mengalami kecemasan atau ketakutan gitu?

P65

Pernah, pasti pernah.

R66

Aku tanya sekarang yang paling terakhir kamu merasakan begitu cemas kapan ya? Bisa kamu ceritakan situasinya?

P66

Pas terakhir itu di kelas speaking.

R67

Cemasnya situasinya seperti apa kok bisa buat kamu cemas?

P67

Pada dasarnya aku orangnya gampang nervous tu lho mbak. Jadi aku buat persiapan presentasi. Itu kelas CLS. Aku udah buat persiapan sehari sebelumnya. Aku bisa pasti bisa, latihan dikit-dikit. Tapi pas aku maju tuh bisa lupa semuanya gitu mbak. Lupa materi yang udah dipelajarin.

R68

Tapi kamu dah prepare kan sebelumnya?

P68

Udah mbak tapi preparenya ya santai-santai gitu. Pikiranku pas kelas 126


speaking pasti bisa tapi pada akhirnya kaya gitu. R69

Kelas speaking itu nama spesifiknya apa? Sorry…

P69

CLS. Critical Listening and Speaking.

R70

Itu semester 4 ya?

P70

Iya semester 3 dan 4.

R71

Nah yang kamu ceritakan ini semester berapa?

P71

Semester 3. Semester 4 belum presentasi.

R72

Meskipun kamu udah ada preparation tapi masih cemas ya?

P72

Iya mbak. Malah kadang kalau ga disiapkan malah bisa. Kalau ngomong biasa kaya gitu tu aku biasa aja. Kalau udah ambil nilai aku persiapan tapi ya gitu tadi di luar harapan gitu. Soalnya kalau disiapkan aku harus sama kaya yang aku siapkan jadi beban gitu.

R73

Oke berarti itu konteksnya saat kamu presentasi di kelas CLS. Gimana perasaanmu saat itu? Selain rasa cemas itu, tapi apa yang terjadi pada kamu saat itu?

P73

Aku sakit perut. Terus ketika maju tuh aku lupa semua. Berusaha inget tapi ga gampang mbak.

R74

Jadi kaya going blank gitu?

P74

Iya bener mbak. Aku bawa taking note tapi paling kan kecil gitu lho mbak. Aku pegang tapi ujungnya aku baca itu.

R75

O gitu, kalau selain itu?

P75

Yang jelas deg-degan. Terus kaya gugup pegang tangan-tangan kaya gini (practicing in front of me).

R76

O gitu. Iya jadi kamu bayangkan aja kamu sekarang di kelas itu lagi presentasi. Bayangkan kondisinya. Kamu presentasi sendirian atau?

P76

Ga, sama temen-temen.

R77

Jadi kamu merasakan cemas dan gugup itu pas giliranmu?

P77

Ga mbak, dari awal. Meskipun temenku lagi ngomong tetep rasanya gerogi mbak.

R78

Dan waktu giliranmu?

P78

Semakin grogi. Semakin blank. Berusaha ngapalin terus tapi kok ga

127


masuk-masuk. R79

Iya kamu merasakan kaya gitu ya. Saat itu, apa yang kamu pikirkan?

P79

Aku mikir “aku ga bisa, ga bisa presentasi lancar, aku takut salah” Aku tu takut mbak kalau ditatap orang secara langsung, kalau dilihat banyak orang tuh takut. Ga tau kenapa. Takut aja gitu lho mbak.

R80

Lalu setelah itu setelah kamu mengalami perasaan dan mempunyai pikiran kaya gitu. Akhirnya kamu gimana? Apa yang kamu lakukan untuk mengatasi itu?

P80

Aku tarik nafas terus dibuang. Berusaha menyingkirkan pikiran negatif itu dengan pikiran “aku bisa kok, aku bisa presentasi dengan lancar, aku udah ngapalin semalem”

R81

Oh okay. Saat kamu presentasi, lancar?

P81

Karna the show must go on. Aku tetap presentasi sesuai yang aku inget, yang aku bisa semampuku.

R82

Kenapa sih kamu tarik nafas dan positive thinking?

P82

Karena aku pengen bisa ngomong bahasa Inggris dengan lancar dan pengen bisa dapet nilai bagus. Kalau aku mikir negatif kan pasti ujungujungnya ya ga bisa ngomong, ga bisa presentasi. Tapi kalau mikir positif kan seengganya aku mencoba berpikir siapa tau aku bisa presentasi bagus.

R83

Oh ya oke. Kalau dosenmu saat itu orangnya kaya gimana?

P83

Sebenernya dosennya tuh termasuk dosen yang baik. Dia tuh memberikan banyak masukan. Kalau maju tuh caranya kaya gini. Kalau mau presentasi caranya kaya gini. Bukan termasuk dosen killer gitu lho mbak.

R84

Kamu

berharapnya

dosenmu

saat

itu

gimana

saat

dengerin

presentasimu? P84

Ya pas aku presentasi paling ga senyum jangan datar-datar aja. Kalau senyum kan seengganya dosennya ndengerin.

R85

Cara dosenmu menilai gimana?

P85

Abis presentasi dikasih feedback tapi dikasih beberapa minggu setelahnya. 128


R86

Oke itu dosen, kalau teman-temanmu saat kamu presentasi gimana?

P86

Iya. Aku takut mereka bosen, ngantuk. Aku jadi merasa presentasiku kurang menarik. Kadang itu bikin distract presentasiku.

R87

Apakah ada perasaan takut dinilai negatif sama teman-teman kamu?

P87

Iya mbak. Sejujurnya iya. Ada beberapa temenku yang ngomong di belakang gitu biasanya.

R88

Gimana kamu mengatasi penilaian temen-temenmu itu?

P88

Ya aku mikirnya gapapa. Ga masalah. Biarin aja. Meskipun aku juga bingung mengatasinya gimana.

R89

Oh oke. Apakah presentasimu itu mempengaruhi kamu ke depannya?

P89

Iya mempengaruhi, tapi kalau aku mempengaruhinya lebih ke aku jadi pengen lebih baik. Jadi positif ga malah ga berani ngomong. Kalau ga berani ngomong nanti aku ga bisa ngomong terus.

R90

Lalu kedepannya kamu melakukan apa?

P90

Kalau presentasi lagi aku belajar latihan di depan cermin, berusaha latihan sama temen meskipun temen juga bosen dengerin tapi paling ga kita udah usaha. Gitu. Terus kalau ada maju di depan sukarela ya berani maju. Belajar pronunciation juga.

R91

Kenapa pronunciation?

P91

Soalnya pronunciation harus bener.

R92

O gitu. Ada lagi yang harus bener dan harus disiapkan?

P92

Iya grammar juga. Itu emang penting.

R93

Oke pronunciation and grammar ya. Kalo gitu, tadi apakah hal-hal itu terpikirkan juga sama kamu saat kamu presentasi?

P93

Iya juga sih mbak. Yang penting sama aja kaya yang aku persiapkan.

R94

Oke. Kalau dari sifatmu sendiri, apakah sifat itu ada hubungannya kecemasan saat itu?

P94

Iya, aku pemalu dan ga PDan.

R95

Ada ga sih pengalaman yang lain yang mengena banget. Jadi rasanya cemas banget.

P95

Di semester 2, kelas pronunciation practice. Itu dosennya mbak.

129


R96

Oya?

P96

Iya kan sebenernya pronunciation kan enak ya mbak tinggal baca phonetics atau apa tapi dosennya tuh perfeksionis. Awalnya masuk kelasnya enak tapi pertemuan berikut-berikutnyanya kok suasananya kaya gimana gitu jadi berasa kaya mau ujian gitu. Dulu pernah waktu suruh maju buat nulis phonetics kan tulisanku emang ga bagus-bagus banget. Nah ada huruf yang salah, terus dosenku bilang “kamu tuh ga bisa jadi guru kalau tulisannya kaya gini gini gini.” Gitu bilang di depan kelas.

R97

Terus perasaanmu gimana dibilang kaya gitu?

P97

Ya siapa sih mbak yang pengen jadi guru terus dibilang ga bisa jadi guru kaya gitu. Meskipun kepengenan jadi guru juga belum besar gitu lho.

R98

Lha kalau udah lulus mau jadi apa?

P98

Masih galau mbak

R99

Iya nanti bisa sambil jalan ya, tergantung interestnya juga.

P99

Iya mbak.

R100

Berarti pengalamanmu paling berkesan itu tadi ya? Kelas CLS dan pronunciation.

P100

Iya mbak. Kalau kelas pronunciation karna dosennya tadi. Kalau kelas CLS karena aku orangnya pemalu itu tadi.

R101

Oke. Kalau semester 1 ketika barusan masuk pernah merasakan cemas ga?

P101

Kalau semester 1 takut ga bisa mengimbangi temen-temen. Semester 2 karena ketemu dosennya. Semester 3 karena tadi ga bisa ngomong tu lho mbak.

R102

Oke, kalau boleh disimpulkan, aktifitas apa sih di kelas yang paling membuat kamu cemas?

P102

Speaking mbak itu tadi.

R103

Giving presentation berarti ya?

P103

Iya mbak.

R104

Oke jadi kurang lebih garis besarnya kaya gitu, dek. Biasa orang 130


ngobrol ada yang kelupaan, aku hubungin kamu lewat whatsapp atau lewat messenger ya. Makasih udah ngrepotin. P104

Iya mbak sama-sama

131



Name

: Petra (pseudonym)

Day and Date : Thursday, 24th March 2016 : 09.20 – 10.30

Time

The interview was done through chatting on Whatsapp. R: Researcher P: Petra Text R1

Hai Petra! Apa kabar?

P1

Baik mbak. Mbak gimana kabarnya?

R2

Aku juga baik, Petra! Lagi sibuk ga?

P2

Belum sibuk mbak.

R3

Ada beberapa hal yang mau aku tanyakan lagi nih dek, ada hubungannya dengan hal-hal yang kita obrolin beberapa minggu yang lalu.

P3

Oya mbak, tanya aja.

R4

Oke. Pet, aku mau tanya. Waktu itu kamu share pengalamanmu pas presentasi di kelas CLS. Waktu itu kamu presentasi apa ya topiknya?

P4

Nature School.

R5

Itu kelompok kan ya?

P5

Iya.

R6

Sekelompok berapa orang?

P7

3 orang. Termasuk aku.

R8

Okay. Bisa kamu deskripsikan presentasimu? Secara singkat aja.

P8

Jadi presentasinya itu soal keuntungan dari nature school. Aku lupa-lupa inget mbak.

R9

Kamu presentasikan sumbernya dari buku atau bener-bener buat sendiri? 132


P9

Kita browsing mbak.

R10

Oke oke. Saat kamu presentasi gitu, apa yang kamu pikirkan tentang dosenmu yang saat itu mengamati dan mendengarkan presentasimu?

P10

Aku mikir kalau dosennya bakal menilai jelek soalnya muka dosennya seperti serius mbak. Senyumnya jarang sekali.

R11

Padahal kamu cerita kemarin itu kalau dosenmu bukan termasuk dosen killer ya? Adakah pengaruhnya ke kamu?

P11

Iya mbak. Aku jadi tambah nervous gitu waktu presentasi.

R12

Nervous? Bisa dijelaskan gimana nervousnya?

P12

Ya jadi yang mau diomongin jadi hilang gitu mbak. Kaya lupa sama materinya.

R13

Gimana cara kamu mengatasi itu?

P13

Aku berusaha mikir positif kalau aku tuh bisa presentasi lancar.

R14

Noted. Dan pada akhirnya, feedback apa yang dikasih oleh dosenmu?

P14

Mispronounce sama kebanyakan benerin rambut mbak kalau ga salah.

R15

Mispronounce memang kamu ga tau sebelumnya gimana cara bacanya atau kamu tahu tapi tapi ga sadar kalau salah?

P15

Tau mbak pronouncenya tapi ga sadar kalau salah.

R16

Oke oke. Pas kita ngobrol-ngobrol kemarin, kamu cerita kalau ada beberapa

temenmu

suka

ngomong

di

belakang.

Adakah

pengaruhnya di saat itu pas kamu presentasi? P16

Aku jadi lupa materinya mbak.

R17

And finally, kamu gimana?

P17

Berusaha cuek aja mbak tapi kadang kedistract juga.

R18

Oke sama kaya yang kamu ceritain ke aku terakhir kali ya. Di akhir presentasi,

teman-temanmu

kasih

pertanyaan? P18

Enggak si mbak. Mereka diem aja.

133

feedback,

komentar

atau


R19

Oke oke. Jadi kalau tentang dosen kamu berusaha mikir positif dan kalau teman-teman, kamu berusaha cuekin aja. Kenapa memilih melakukan itu Pet?

P19

Kalau aku mikirin pandangan negatif dosen dan teman-teman kan pasti ujung-ujungnya ya ga bisa ngomong, ga bisa presentasi lancar. Intinya kaya aku bilang waktu itu mbak. Aku pengen bisa ngomong bahasa Inggris dengan lancar dan pengen bisa dapet nilai bagus di kelas. Jadi aku fokus sama apa yang bisa aku lakuin.

R20

Dan overall, presentasimu lancar ga, Pet?

P20

Ya agak kesendat-sendat sih tapi tetep lancar.

R21

Sippp. Kamu kan udah cerita beberapa cara untuk mengatasi kecemasanmu presentasi di depan kelas, karena dosenmu dan teman-temanmu. Sebenarnya proses untuk mengatasi itu sulit ga sih?

P21

Ya susah tapi bisa. Tergantung dari akunya. Pada awalnya sih buang pikiran negatif dan berani ngomong di depan kelas tapi aku tetep usahain bisa dan sekarang sedikit-sedikit aku berubah.

R22

Pernah mengalami gagal mengatasi kecemasanmu saat presentasi yang lain? Di kelas lain mungkin. Atau aktifitas di kelas lainnya.

P22

Sejauh ini belum mbak. Aku selalu nyiapin apa yang aku omongin gitu biar ga salah.

R23

Oke gitu aja Petra yang aku mau tanyakan buat melengkapi ceritamu yang lalu. Thanks banget ya! Gbu

P23

Sama-sama mbak. Gbu too.

134



Name

: Petra (pseudonym)

Location


Day and Date : Tuesday, 17th May 2016 : 11.00 – 11.30

Time R: Researcher P: Petra

Text R1

Halo, dek.

P1

Halo, mbak.

R2

Ketemu lagi ya kita. (laughing)

P2

Iya mbak. (laughing)

R3

Ketemu gini aku mau make sure dan tanya beberapa hal. Dikit aja.

P3

Oke mbak.

R4

Pet, waktu itu aku minta kamu ceritakan pengalaman terakhirmu merasa begitu cemas di dalam proses belajar mengajar di dalam kelas. Dan apakah itu juga yang paling cemas selama ini?

P4

Betul mbak.

R5

Selama semester 3 atau selama semester 1 sampai 3?

P5

Selama semester 1 sampai 3.

R6

O gitu. Oke-oke. Waktu itu kamu merasa beban ya karena harus sama dengan yang kamu presentasikan? Apakah itu bisa dibilang standarmu?

P6

Iya betul mbak.

R7

Adakah standar lain supaya kamu merasa puas dengan presentasimu?

P7

Kalau grammar udah dipersiapkan ya. Kaitannya dengan performance sih mbak. Aku berharapnya dosen dan teman-teman lebih tertarik dengerin aku.

R8

O iya kamu mengatasi dengan cara positive thinking. Sebenernya positive thinking seperti apa sih? Spesifiknya…

135


P8

Aku berusaha percaya sama kemampuanku mbak. Aku bilang “bisa, bisa, bisa” ke diriku sendiri.

R9

Oke. Noted. Kalau aku bisa mengajukan pertanyaan terakhir nih ya. What does the experience mean to you? Seperti apa dan apa artinya pengalaman itu buat kamu?

P9

Pengalaman itu pengalaman yang tak terlupakan. Jadi istilahnya dari situ lain kali aku harus bisa menyiapkan presentasi dengan bagus dan percaya sama diri sendiri.

R10

Oke siap. Thank you Petra!

P10

Sama-sama mbak.

136

THE HIGHLY-MOTIVATED STUDENTS LIVED EXPERIENCE OF COMMUNICATION APPREHENSION AND FEAR OF NEGATIVE EVALUATION. A Thesis Presented to

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