TYPES AND SPEECH FUNCTIONS OF CODE SWITCHING USED BY KEARA IN ANTOLOGI RASA NOVEL

PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI

TYPES AND SPEECH FUNCTIONS OF CODE SWITCHING USED BY KEARA IN ANTOLOGI RASA NOVEL

A SARJANA PENDIDIKAN THESIS

Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree in English Language Education

By Riesna Nur Hutami 131214003

ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2017


TYPES AND SPEECH FUNCTIONS OF CODE SWITCHING USED BY KEARA IN ANTOLOGI RASA NOVEL A SARJANA PENDIDIKAN THESIS

Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree in English Language Education

By Riesna Nur Hutami 131214003

ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2017

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This Thesis is dedicated to my beloved mother Narsilah, S.Pd. and my beloved father Aries Kuntadi who always support and pray for me, and also to my beloved little brother, Riesna Deby Mega Rizkia.

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ABSTRACT Hutami, Riesna Nur. (2017). Types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara in Antologi Rasa novel. Yogyakarta: English Language Education Study Program, Department of Language and Arts Education, Faculty of Teachers Training and Education, Sanata Dharma University.

Code switching is a phenomenon in which people use more than one language in the same discourse (Numan & Carter, 2001). There are pros and cons about code switching. Some people say that code switching is a form of failure in mastering languages. Some other say that code switching is a creative process in acquiring languages. Based on those opinions, the researcher aims to conduct a research on the types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara, a main character of “Antologi Rasa” novel written by Ika Natassa. In doing this research, the researcher used a qualitative method, specifically content analysis. First, the data were selected and coded. After that, the data findings were categorized based on the types and speech functions. The types of code switching were analysed by applying Poplack’s theory (1980), and the speech functions were analyzed by applying Appel and Muysken’s theory (1987). This research revealed that there are three types of code switching that were used by Keara. Those types are tag, intra-sentential, and inter-sentential switching. The most frequently used is intra-sentential switching (58.95%), while the least frequently used is tag switching (7.3%). For the speech functions, from six functions, there are five functions found in the novel. Those speech functions found in the novel were referential, expressive, phatic, metalinguistic, and poetic functions. There is no directive functions used in the novel. The most frequently used is metalinguistic function (37.4%), and the least frequently used is poetic function (4.6%). There is one more finding, which is the combinations of expressive and phatic functions (5%). It is the proof that code switching is the result of human’s creativity.

Keywords: Antologi Rasa, code switching, types, speech function

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ABSTRAK Hutami, Riesna Nur. (2017). Types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara in Antologi Rasa novel. Yogyakarta: Program Studi Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris, Jurusan Pendidikan Bahasa dan Seni, Fakultas Keguruan dan Ilmu Pendidikan, Universitas Sanata Dharma.

Alih kode atau code switching adalah fenomena dimana dua bahasa atau lebih digunakan dalam waktu yang sama. Fenomena ini menimbulkan pro dan kontra dalam masyarakat sendiri. Beberapa beranggapan bahwa alih kode ini adalah dampak dari penguasaan bahasa yang tidak sempurna. Beberapa lainnya menganggap alih kode adalah suatu proses kreatif dalam mempelajari bahasa. Berdasarkan hal tersebut, penelitian ini bertujuan untuk meneliti tipe-tipe dan fungsi atas penggunaan alih kode oleh seorang karakter utama dalam sebuah novel bertajuk “Antologi Rasa” karya Ika Natassa. Dalam melakukan penelitian, penulis menggunakan metode kualitatif dengan pendekatan content analysis. Langkah pertama dalam penelitian ini adalah membaca serta mendaftar penggunaan alih kode yang digunakan oleh karakter utama yang terdapat pada novel. Kemudian data yang didapat diklasifikasikan berdasarkan tipe dan fungsi penggunaannya. Untuk tipe alih kode, penelitian ini menggunakan teori dari Poplack (1980), dan untuk fungsi penggunaan alih kode digunakan teori dari Appel dan Muysken (1987). Penelitian ini menemukan bahwa ada tiga tipe alih kode yang digunakan oleh Keara. Ketiga tipe tersebut adalah tag, intra-sentential, dan inter-sentential switching. Tipe yang paling sering digunakan adalah intra-sentential switching (58.95%), dan yang paling jarang digunakan adalah tag switching (7,3%). Sedangkan untuk fungsi menggunakan alih kode, dari enam fungsi yang ada, ada lima yang digunakan dalam novel. Fungsi-fungsi tersebut adalah referential, expressive, phatic, metalinguistic, dan poetic functions. Fungsi yang paling sering digunakan adalah metalinguistic function (37,4%), dan yang paling jarang digunakan adalah poetic function (4,6%). Selain itu, expressive dan phatic function (5%) juga digunakan secara bersamaan. Hal ini merupakan bukti bahwa code switching merupakan hasil dari kreatifitas manusia.

Kata kunci: Antologi Rasa, code switching, types, speech function

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This piece of work, a bundle of paper, a bunch of story which is called as a thesis, the requirement to graduate with S.Pd. title from Sanata Dharma University, I humbly present to those who have encouraged me to finish this thesis and my study. I cannot say more to my classmates in Class A, small Class A whom I cannot mention one by one, for being my biggest reason to be able to graduate as soon as possible. My best friend with whom I spend and survive in this battleship “Moon”, I thank him for being my best friend, partner in crime, personal advisor, and biggest rival. My special gratitude to my kind-hearted advisor, Truly Almendo Pasaribu, S.S., M.A. for her time, willingness, advice, and guidance. My gratitude goes to my academic advisor, Drs. Y.B. Gunawan, M.A., for being the nicest advisor and lecturer. My favorite lecturer, Made Frida Yulia, S.Pd., M.Pd., who gave me inspiration in the first time to write about Linguistics. The greatest gratitude goes to my parents, Aries Kuntadi and Narsilah, S.Pd. who always shower me with love, since I was a kid. For the endless love, pray, and support, there is nothing I can do to pay all of those sacrifices. I thank them for staying by, believing, and encouraging me even when others doubt me. My little brother, Riesna Deby Mega Rizkia who always becomes my mood booster, I thank for supporting me to finish my study and get a job as soon as possible.

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And last, but not least, Allah SWT, The Creator, The Initiator of All, The Guide, and The Infallible Teacher, without His blessing I would not be here and this thesis would not have existed. And for He is The True Creator of this life and the after life. Riesna Nur Hutami

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Table of Contents TITLE PAGE ........................................................................................................... i APPROVAL PAGES .............................................................................................. ii DEDICATION PAGE ............................................................................................ iv STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY ........................................................v PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI ....................................................... vi ABSTRACT .......................................................................................................... vii ABSTRAK ............................................................................................................. viii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ..................................................................................... ix TABLE OF CONTENTS ....................................................................................... xi LIST OF TABLES ............................................................................................... xiii LIST OF APPENDICES ...................................................................................... xiv

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTION .......................................................................1 A. Research Background ...........................................................1 B. Research Questions ...............................................................5 C. Research Significance ...........................................................5 D. Definition of Terms ..............................................................6

CHAPTER II.

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE .................................10 A. Theoretical Description ......................................................10 1.

Bilingual and Multilingual...........................................10

2.

Code Switching............................................................11

3.

Brief Description of Antologi Rasa and Keara ............12

4.

Types of Code Switching ............................................13

5.

Speech Functions of Code Switching ..........................17

B. Theoretical Framework .......................................................24 CHAPTER III.

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY ..............................................26 A. Research Method ................................................................26

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B. Source of Data ....................................................................27 C. Instruments and Data Gathering Technique .......................28 D. Data Analysis Technique ....................................................29

CHAPTER IV. RESEARCH FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION .........................32 A. Research Findings ...............................................................32 1.

The Types of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa ..............................................................32

2.

The Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa ................................................33

B. Research Discussion ...........................................................34 1.

The Types of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa ..............................................................35

2.

The Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa ................................................41

CHAPTER V.

CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND RECOMMENDATIONS ...........................................................55 A. Conclusions ........................................................................55 B. Implications ........................................................................57 C. Recomendations ..................................................................58

REFERENCES.......................................................................................................60

APPENDICES .......................................................................................................64

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LIST OF TABLES Table 3.1

Page Blueprint of the Data Sheet of the Types and Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara .............................................................................30

4.1

The Data Findings of the Types of Code Switching.....................................33

4.2

The Data Findings of the Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara .............................................................................................................34

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LIST OF APPENDICES Appendix

Page

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Data findings of the types and speech functions of code switching ...............65

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Synopsis of Antologi Rasa novel ..................................................................222

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Bibliography of Ika Natassa..........................................................................224

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CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION

This chapter provides the introduction of the research which consists of four parts. The first part is the background of the study which explains on the reasons of conducting this research. The second part deals with the research questions, those which will be discovered in this research. The next part is about research significant in which the research gives contribution. The last part is definition of terms which will explain the terms which are used in this research.

A. Research Background Today, people can easily communicate with other people even when they are separated by the distance. Distance means nothing in this global and modern era. As the way to communicate between people from one region and other regions, even other countries are widely opened now, people nowadays mostly can speak in more than one, even two languages. The ability to speak more than one language is one of the factors which influences the society into bilingual or even multilingual. Hoffman (1991) says that bilingualism is “a natural onset of interethnic, international, interlinguistic communication” (p. 351). One of the impacts of bilingual and multilingual societies is the occurrence of code switching. Code switching is mostly done with spoken action (Nordquist, 2016). However, lately, we can find many code switching used in written articles and novels. It is an example of how code switching is widely spread among 1

PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI 2

bilingual and multilingual speakers. It even influences the way they write, not only the way they speak. There are several studies done in researching about code switching which is found in written documents such as novels. Here are some of those studies. The first one is a study of code mixing and code switching by Riana Suherman from Universitas Pamulang. The study was entitled as “An Analysis of Code Mixing and Code Switching in a Novel ‘Divortiare’ by Ika Natassa”. It was conducted in 2012 with the main focuses were on the types, functions, and reasons of using code mixing and code switching. In conducting this study, Riana used three different theories. In analyzing the types of code switching, she used Peter Stockwell’s theory; in analyzing the functions of code switching, she used SavilleTroike’s theory; and in analyzing the reasons of using code switching, she used Mayerhoff’s theory. The second study is “An Analysis of Code Mixing and Code Switching in the Novel Rojak by Fira Basuki”. It was conducted by Eva Kusuma Dewi, a student from Universitas Muhammadiah Surabaya in 2013. In this study, Eva analyzed the types and reasons of code switching used in the novel. “Code-Switching in N.H Dini’s Jepun Negerinya Hiroko and Pondok Baca Kembali ke Semarang” is the next study which was written by a student from Sanata Dharma University, Fransisca Galih Permatasari. This study was written in 2014. There were two things which were discussed in this study. The first one was the types of code switching, which was analyzed by using McCormiock’s theory


(1994). The second one was the reasons of using code switching, which was analyzed by using Crystal’s theory (1987). The next study was written in 2015. The study was entitled as “CodeMixing and Code Switching Analysis on Ranah 3 Warna Novel”, from a student of Universitas Diponegoro. There were two things which were discussed here. The first one was the types and the second one was the factors of code switching. Both of the types and reasons of code switching were discussed by using Suwito (1985) and Jendra (2001)’s theory. Those are some studies which used novels in analyzing the phenomenon of code switching in a written discourse. Using novels to analyze code switching provides us with a lot of data. It is because novel contains many pages and it enables us to get the data which are needed. Based on those studies, the researcher decided to write a research with the similar topic, which is about code switching in a novel. However, here, the researcher focuses on the code switching which is used by the main character of the novel. In this research, the researcher wants to present an example of a novel which uses so many code switching. The tittle of the novel is Antologi Rasa. It is a novel which is written by Ika Natassa, a business banker who now is also a writer and photographer. She spent her senior high school time in Stanton, Iowa, USA. She also worked as the apprentice in Australia’s Department of Primary Industry and Fisheries in Darwin, and ACTEW Corporation Limited in Canberra. She spent a great deal of her time overseas and therefore it affects the way she speaks. It is reflected also in the way she writes her novel.


This novel is quite unique because it has three different points of view from the three main characters. In this novel, we are able to see the feeling of those three characters. Those characters are Keara, Harris, and Ruly. However, Keara is the one who used code switching more frequent than the others. That is why the researcher decided to analyze the code switching used by Keara. Even though there are many studies with the similar topic, there are some things which make this research different with the previous studies. First, in this research, the researcher describes the types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara. Second, as stated in the first reason, the researcher focuses only on the code switching used by Keara, the main character in the novel. Therefore, this research will not discuss the code switching in the whole novel. Third, the researcher uses specific theories to discuss the types and speech functions of code switching, not a general one. This research uses the theory from Poplack (1980) in analyzing the types of code switching. While, in analyzing the speech functions of code switching, the researcher uses Appel and Muysken’s theory (1987). The reason of using Poplack’s theory in analyzing the types of code switching, and Appel and Muysken’s theory in analyzing the speech functions of code switching is that these theories have not been used by those previous studies which are mentioned before. By using different theories that have not been used before, it will enable us to gain more knowledge about the types and speech functions of code switching.


B. Research Questions In conducting this research, there are several things that will be discussed. Those things are formulated into two research questions. The research questions which are discussed in this research are: 1.

What are the types of code switching used by Keara based on Poplack’s theory?

2.

What are the speech functions of using code switching by Keara based on Appel and Muysken’s theory?

C. Research Significance There are several things that are expected while conducting this research. It is not only to the researcher, but also to those who read this research. This research is also expected to give contribution to some parties, which are students in English Language Education Study Program, lecturers in English Language Education Study Program, and readers in general. 1.

Students in English Language Education Study Program This research is expected to give contribution in helping those who study

in English Language Education Study Program when they are discussing about code switching. This research is expected to give another example and explanation about the use of code switching, that code switching is not only found in spoken discourse but also in written discourse. By explaining the phenomenon in the form of example and analysis, this research is hoped to make


better understanding on the related topic. Besides, learning about code switching will help them obtain better knowledge in language learning. 2.

Lecturers in English Language Education Study Program This research is expected to help the lecturers in English Language

Education Study Program, especially those who teach Sociolinguistics. It is expected that this research will give them another source of discussing about code switching. Usually, the lecturers will discuss the phenomenon of code switching in spoken discourse. Therefore, by this research, it is expected that the discussion about code switching will be broaden, not only in spoken but also written discourse. It will also enable us to study more about the phenomenon of code switching. 3.

Readers in general To the readers of this research, this research is expected to broaden their

knowledge and make them to be more aware of the code switching phenomenon. Many people think that code switching occurs because of the lack of understanding and mastering the vocabulary of one language. However, this research is expected to change their way of perceiving code switching. There are many reasons of using code switching, other than vocabulary lack.

D. Definition of Terms Definition

of

terms

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given

to

avoid

misunderstanding

misconception between the research and the readers of this research. There are

and


some terms which need to be defined. They are character, novel, Antologi Rasa, bilingual and multilingual, and code switching. 1.

Characters Character is one of the attributes or features that makes up and

distinguishes an individual. It is an imagery person which is created by the author to support his work. There are some kind of characters. The most popular ones are protagonist and antagonist characters; main and supporting characters; and static and dynamic characters. A protagonist character is the one who often engages readers’ interest. In other hand, an antagonist character is often hated by the readers. In a stereotype view, the protagonist character is usually seen as the good one or the angel, whereas the antagonist character is seen as the bad one, the evil. A main character is the one who always or mostly shown in the story. He gets the biggest part of the story. A supporting character appears in some parts only, not the whole story. A static character is the one who does not change or develop throughout the story. In opposite, a dynamic character is the one who grows and develops throughout the story. In this research, the character which is used is the main as a dynamic characters. 2.

Novels Novel is an imaginative prose which has certain length and usually deals

with human experiences. It also has sequence events and each event happens in specific setting. Peck and Coyle (1984) say that novel moves from religious view of life to the modern complexion of everyday life. Another definition of novel is that novel is usually written in prose with certain length and level of complexity.


Its purpose is to reflect and express some of human experiences or conducts (Taylor, 1981). It also carries some meaning and values of life. 3. Antologi Rasa Antologi Rasa is a novel by Ika Natassa which is published in 2011 and it has been published three times. The last version is included with a visual design of some scenes in the novel which are made by Natassa herself. Antologi Rasa is one of the special novels. Besides the visual design, this novel also provides us with three different points of view from the three main characters. The first point of view is from Keara’s, followed by Harris’s and then Ruly’s point of view. It makes this novel special and different from Natassa’s previous novels. 4. Bilingual and Multilingual Bilingual is a condition in which people can understand two languages, whether they have already mastered it or slightly understood it. Appel and Muysken (1987) state that bilingualism is an open-ended semantics concept because it enables the researcher to choose which language suits the best for his purpose. Salla (2010) also states that bilingualism is an effect of the communication of people with different languages. Whereas multilingualism is “a result of historical events which make changes in power, border, and immigration to new found lands” (Salla, 2010, p. 397). 5. Code Switching Code switching is the change of one language into two or more languages which happens in the same occasion. Wardaugh (1986) states that a code is a system which is used when two or more people communicate. Some linguists


often differentiate between code switching and code mixing, and some other do not differentiate it. However, in this research, the researcher chooses to use the same definition for code switching and code mixing as the changes of code or language in the same discourse. It is supported by Saville-Troike (2003) that “I avoid that term because of the pejorative connotation that intersentential switching involves a random or unprincipled combination of language” (p. 50).


CHAPTER II REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

This chapter provides the review of related literature. There are two sections in this chapter which are theoretical description and theoretical framework. Theoretical description explains the relevant theories used in this research. Theoretical framework summarizes and synthesizes all theories which help the researcher in conducting the research to answer the research questions.

A. Theoretical Description In this section, before we go further to code switching, there are some terms in which should be discussed in order to know more on the phenomenon of code switching. Code switching is believed as the result of bilingual and multilingual societies. In bilingual and multilingual societies, people have the ability to understand and speak more than one or two languages. Therefore, the first thing which will be discussed is bilingual and multilingual, followed by code switching, a brief description about Antologi Rasa and Keara, types of code switching, and the last one is speech functions of code switching. 1.

Bilingual and Multilingual In this era, there are so many bilingual and multilingual societies.

According to Hoffman (1991) bilingual is “a natural phenomenon born over the years and the centuries communities establish links with one another, whether

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friendly, commercial or belligerent” (p. 1). In addition, Hoffman (1991) also states that “bilingualism arises as a result of contract, spreads throughout community and is maintained depends on whether the conditions for its development are right” (p. 3). One of the factors of bilingualism and multilingualism is “the constant contacts that always influence in some way the speech behavior of the people involved – and therefore, eventually, their languages are affected by borrowing or change” (Hoffman, 1991, p. 1). As there are some people in bilingual and multilingual societies who are able to speak in more than one or two languages, there are some effects which appear as the results. One of the effects is code switching. 2.

Code Switching The terms of code switching is not strange anymore. Actually, code itself is

“a verbal component that can be as small as a morpheme or as comprehensive and complex as the entire system of language” (Ayeomoni, 2006, p. 91). Whereas code switching, according to Numan and Carter (2001) is “a phenomenon of switching from one language to another in the same discourse” (as cited in Sert, 2005, p. 1). In addition, Poplack (2000) says that “code switching has been defined as the alternation of two languages within a single discourse, sentence, or constituent” (as cited in Pollard, 2002, p. 3). Furthermore, Bokamba (1989) defines code switching as “the mixing of words, phrases and sentences from two distinct grammatical (sub) systems across sentence boundaries within the same speech event”. Therefore, we can conclude that code switching is the change of one language into two or more languages which happens in the same occasion.


Code switching can be said as the result of bilingual and multilingual societies, as stated before. It is supported by Gal (1988) that code switching is “a conversational strategy used to establish, cross or destroy group boundaries; to create evoke or change interpersonal relations with their rights and obligations” (as cited in Wardaugh, 1986, p. 103). Code switching is also the most creative aspect as the result of bilingual speech (Hoffman, 1991). However, some people argue that code switching is the result of human creativity. Some of them think that code switching occurs because of the lack of vocabulary that bilingual person has. It is also considered as “linguistic decay” (Hoffman, 1991, p. 109). Hammink (2000) comments that code switching is a result of incomplete mastery of the two languages, and considered as a low prestige form, incorrect, and poor language. 3.

Brief Description of Antologi Rasa and Keara Antologi Rasa is the fourth book by Ika Natassa after A Very Yuppy

Wedding, Divortiare, and Underground. Even though she is a banker, she still manages her time to write an interesting and addictive novel such as this one. Different from the three other novels of her, this novel presents the readers with three points of view from the three main characters, Keara, Harris, and Ruly. This novel tells us about four squares of love from the main characters, who work in the same bank, Harris to Keara, Keara to Ruly, Ruly to Denise. This novel also allows the readers to see directly what is on the main characters’ mind. Even though the theme is kind of a classic love between friends, Ika can easily wrap the story in an amazing and unpredictable ways. Just as a reflection of her


own life, this novel describes briefly what a banker does in the office with additional ‘ingredient’ called love. Even though there are three characters in the novel but this novel mainly deals with Keara. The readers can know the characteristics of Keara from her monologues and other characters’ opinions. It is told that Keara is a shopaholic, witty woman who falls in love with her working partner, Ruly. Regardless on what she has, about her appearance and ability, she is a little bit arrogant. She spent her university life in New York. It is also said that she ever lived in USA during her childhood. It is one of the reasons on why she uses code switching a lot. Besides shopping, her hobby is also to take pictures. Keara has two best friends, Dinda and Harris. However, Dinda is the one who becomes the real diary for Keara. As for Keara, works in a bank is the way to fulfill her needs for shopping. She is not the type of workaholic. 4.

Types of Code Switching There are some theories about the types of code switching. According to

Saville-Troike, there are two types of code switching. He states in his work that “yet another dimension to be distinguished is the scope of switching, or the nature of the juncture at which language change takes place” (1986, p. 50). The first type of code switching according to Saville-Troike is intersentential switching. It is a code switching which occurs between sentences or speech acts. The second type is intrasentential switching. Intrasentential switching is code switching which occurs within a single sentence.


However, long before Saville-Troike states his opinion on the types of code switching, Poplack in 1980 has already stated her opinions on types of code switching. She classifies the types of code switching into three different categories. The first two categories are similar with that are said by SavilleTroike, which are inter-sentential and intra-sentential code switching. The other one is named as tag switching. a.

Tag Switching Tag switching is the least complicated switching. It is because it needs a

little integration of the two languages. Tag switching is related to the inclusion of a tag (Jalil, 2009, p. 4). Poplack (1980) says that the insertion of a tag has no influences to the rest of the sentence. The insertion of the tag also can be moved freely and attached almost in anywhere. The example of English tags which usually used are ‘you know’, ‘I mean’, ‘yeah’, etc. The use of tag switching can be seen in the following monologue from Ika Natassa’s Antologi Rasa novel (2012): Yeah, bro, mimpi aja terus. (Monologue, Ruly, p. 120) Keara gue itu—yeah, I wish—malah tertawa. (Monologue, Harris, p. 126) Untuk sekolah dan lulus itu hal yang mudah, yang susah itu pas nanti nyari kerjanya, yeah. The use of ‘yeah’ word is one of the most common tag switching used by people. It is because the word ‘yeah’ can simply explain what is difficult to be explained. People will understand the meaning of ‘yeah’ easily. Moreover, when it is followed by the speaker’s facial expression or intonation.


From the two examples above, we can also see that the insertion of the word ‘yeah’ is vary. It can be in the beginning of the sentence just like in the first example, or it can be in the middle of the sentence as in the second example. We can also infer that tag switching does not require high understanding of a certain language to use it. b. Inter-sentential Code Switching Inter-sentential code switching happens between sentences. It can also occur in the clause or sentence level where its caluse or sentence is in diffirent languages. The difference between clause and sentence is that a clause cannot stand alone, but a sentence can. The speaker does not have to master the languages to use inter-sentential code switching. However, it is one level higher than tag switching. The following dialogue is the example of inter-sentential switching. Andrea Adjie Andrea Adjie

: Adjie! Kamu barusan moto kita?? : Trus kenapa? : Adjie! Kamu tuh kayak anak kecil banget sih! Makan belepotan, ciuman aja pake difoto… : Sayang, sebelum kamu ngomel-ngomel, liat bener-bener dulu dong fotonya! You’re so beautiful and photogenic in this one! (Natassa, 2007, p.187)

The use of inter-sentential switching is shown in Adjie’s dialogue, when he used code switching from Indonesian to English. The code switching used by Adjie is in the form of a sentence. Here, we can see that inter-sentential switching has lower risk of violating grammatical and syntactic rules. It is because when the clause or sentence is in Indonesian, the speaker uses Indonesian grammatical


rules. On the other hand, when the speaker speaks in English, he uses grammatical English rules. c.

Intra-sentential Code Switching Intra-sentential code switching occurs within a clause or sentence. Since

the occurance of this type is relatively in a small discourse, it is said to be the most complicated one. The reason is that the code switching here is in the form of phrases that should be fit into the clause or sentence. It is supported by Poplack (1980, p. 215) that “this type requires a lot of integration and is usually associated with the most fluent bilinguals”. Jalil (2009) states some examples of intrasentential code switching, as shown bellow: Example 1: “Yeah, I have… you know what’s my problem… I remember… when I used to go to school, I always had a problem when I, I had to sit straight to the teacher, and I have um complexo about my nose, and you know, like my…” (p. 9)

Example 2: “We throw flores pra Iemanjá, that’s like a queen…” (p. 9) From those examples, we can see that intra-sentential code switching is used within a sentence and usually in the form of word or phrase. Both of the examples are mostly in English which use code switching in Portuguese. In the first example, the code switching is in the form of noun phrase, um complexo. In English, um complexo means ‘a complex’. Just as the same with the first example, the second example is also a noun phrase, flores pra Iemanjá. The English words for flores pra Iemanjá is ‘flowers for Iemanja’.


We can also see that in intra-sentential switching, we need a good understanding of both languages. The use of part of speech should be used in a proper way. That is why intra-sentential switching is said to have high risk of violating grammatical or syntatic rule. Therefore, it needs high awareness and understanding of both languages.

5.

Speech Functions of Code Switching Even though some people think that code switching is “a sign of linguistic

decay” (Hoffman, 1991, p. 109), there are some others that think if code switching helps us a lot in a matter of communication. Hoffman states that code switching “involves the alternate use of two languages or linguistic varieties within the same utterance or during the same conversation” (1991, p. 110). Trudgill (2000) also says that “speakers switch to manipulate or influence or define the situation as they wish, and to convey nuances of meaning and personal intention” (p. 105). This quotation refers to the functions of code switching as self-expression and personal intention. There are other functions of code switching according to some researchers, such as identity maker (Gumperz, 1982; Woolard, 1989; Kroskrity, 1993; Nishimura, 1995; Sridhar, 1996; Fought, 2003; Shin, 2010), solidarity maker (Bradby, 2002), dominance and prestige (Waseem, 2000; Wong, 2000), preciseness (Bonvillain, 1993), strategy of neutrality (Scotton, 1993), style shifting (Bradby, 2002), reiteration, personalization, address specification, interjection and quotation (Gumperz, 1982).


More specifically, Appel and Muysken (1987) define the speech functions of code switching as referential function, directive function, expressive function, phatic function, metalinguistic function, and poetic function. Here are the definitions of those functions. a.

The Referential Function The referential function involves the lack of knowledge or facility in a

language. Chen (2007) states that “referential functions vary according to the following: speakers might want to switch terms lack availability in other language, terms lack semantically, and speakers refer to the language in which such words are available” (as cited in Othman, 2015, p. 31). Here, bilingual or multilingual who can speak in two or more languages find that sometimes, some words cannot be translated to other languages. Therefore, they choose to code switch to other languages which have the right or suitable words. Indonesian teenagers, nowadays often do not understand the Indonesian term of some English words. For instance, they use the word ‘download’ instead of ‘mengunduh’ or ‘update’ instead of ‘memperbarui’. Moreover, children have been accustomed to use gadget since they are in elementary school or even earlier. They only know that download is an activity of getting or saving something (song, picture, video, movie, etc.) from internet to their phone or PC. They do not know the Indonesian word of download. It can also be said that the referential function mostly involves in technology’s term. Since technology are mostly produced in America and aboard, the terms which are related to technology are also in English. Therefore, tecnology’s terms usually are not translated into certain language.


The referential function can also refer to the use of code switching when there is no suitable word in certain languages. For example, the English term of ‘fighting’ does not have the suitable Korean term. ‘Fighting’ here does not mean to hit each other or to join in a war. ‘Fighting’ here means that we have the spirit to do something or to give support or encourage others. However, some Korean pronounce it as ‘hwaiting’ instead of ‘fighting’. b. The Directive Function The directive function aims to include or exclude a person from a part of conversation. The directive function to exclude someone usually happens when people talk about secret that they do not want other people to know. The directive function of excluding someone is often used by girls when they gossip other girls. For example, a group of girls who speak Javanese and Indonesian are hanging out in a café. Suddenly, a girl from different group who does not understand Javanese passes by. A1 A2 A3 A1 A2 A3

: Liat deh, ada si B. : Eh sama siapa dia? : Sstt… Lho ya karo pacare kan? : Ngawur. Yange de’e kui si D. : Lha kae sopo? Bribikane sing liya? : Ha ya mboh. Adimu.

The dialogue shows that they use code switching from Indonesian to Javanese when they talk about someone else who does not understand Javanese. The directive function here is to exclude the person they were talking about. Another example is the directive function to include someone who joins in the middle of a conversation between bilinguals who speak Indonesian and English as showed in the dialogue bellow.


M N L M N

: The Hunger Games movie is quite good. I like the character played by Jennifer Lawrence. : Ah, the one who played as Katniss Everdeen. Yeah, I like her as well. She seemed so natural. : Hai seru banget kayanya. Lagi ngomongin apa? : Eh dari mana aja? Kita nungguin kamu. : Kamu udah nonton Hunger Games belum?

The dialogue above shows a conversation between two people who firstly spoke in English. Both of M and N can speak and understand English. However, a third person who does not speak English comes and joins the conversation. The three of them are close friends, and therefore they do not want to exclude the other from the conversation. In order to include the third person into the conversation, they use code switching to Indonesian, so the third person can understand about what they are talking about. c.

The Expressive Function The expressive function tends to stress self-identity or feeling. It suggests

that those who code switch want to express their emotion or feeling. The emotion and feeling can be in the form of happiness, sadness, anger, etc. The following monologue is an example of a person who uses code switching to express his feeling. He can speak Javanese, Indonesian, and English. Ah kalo tau bakal kuis dadakan mending tadi ga usah masuk sekalian. Asyemm tenan… mau dapet berapa coba nilainya?! Bodo ah. Whatever will be, will be.

The monologue above explains about the feeling of a person who just has a sudden quiz. He speaks in Indonesian and then uses code switching to Javanese and followed by English. The Javanese words ‘asyemm tenan’ is an expression of showing the feeling of anger. It is the same of English words ‘damn it’. Therefore,


the English words ‘whatever will be, will be’ refers to the feeling of giving up. It means that he will accept whatever his result is. Another example of the expressive function is explained in the following illustration. It is illustrated the situation in an English Department class when they are discussing about case study implemented in a research. So, I found this research, randomly. I just want to make sure that you understand about what case study is. I will read the title of the research and you should mention what is or are wrong from this. First, ‘A Case Study of Bilingualism in English Department Students’. From the title, it is stated that the research will use case study. But in the Research Method, she wrote that she will use questionnaire to get the data, and she will distribute it only once. Lha terus piye carane case study?

Here, the lecturer uses code switching from English to her native language, Javanese. It shows her emotion clearly when she mixes her native language and English. She speaks like that because she thinks that she has explained the material about case study well, therefore some of the students still do not understand about it. d. The Phatic Function The phatic function aims to show a change in tone and emphasize parts of conversation which are important. As its function is to emphasize or to give stress on something important, people usually use phatic functions only in some words which are considered as important. Appel and Muysken (1987) state that “this type of language alternation can be found in when a stand-up comedian tells the whole joke in the standard variety, yet brings the last line of joke that provides humor or climax in vernacular types of speech” (as cited in Othman, 2015, p. 30).


e.

The Metalinguistic Function The metalinguistic function is when a person uses code switching in order

to comment on another language. It can be used to comment directly or indirectly on a specific language feature. Some people say that metalinguistic function is used when people want to show off their linguistic skills. Scotton (1979) states that “one example of metalinguistic function is when speakers switch between different codes to impress the other participants with a show off linguistic skills” (as cited in Appel and Muysken, 1987, p. 120). This research gives examples on the metalinguistic function as a sign of showing off someones’s linguistic skill. The dialogue of some girls here is one of the examples of the metalinguistic function in showing off their linguistic skill. Nita Andrea Nita

: Mbak Andrea ya? Gue Nita, Mbak, sekertaris barunya Pak Abi. : Hai, Nit, dulunya dimana? : Dulu di Consumer Loan, tapi waktu gue denger Pak Abi butuh tambahan sekertaris, ya gue apply aja. (Natassa; p. 226; ch. 11).

Here, both of Nita and Andrea are bilinguals. Hoffman (1991) states that in informal situation, bilinguals may code switch a lot, moreover when they are with someone they are close to. Nita and Andrea are not close friend. However, in the dialogue Nita uses code switching by saying ‘apply’ which refers to ‘mendaftar’ in Indonesia. It indicates that Nita uses metalinguistic function. Instead of saying ‘mendaftar’, she prefers to say it in English which is counted as a code switching. The speech function of code switching here is metalinguistic function, since its function is to show off Nita’s linguistic skill. She wants to show off her linguistic skill to impress Andrea.


f.

The Poetic Function The poetic function is often used by bilinguals to tell jokes, stories, songs,

and poetic quotations for amusement or entertainment purpose. We often find some people code switch in order to tell jokes or stories. Moreover, when the origin of the jokes or the stories are in other languages. It creates different atmosphere when the jokes or the stories are not delivered in their origin, sometimes it even creates other meaning and does not deliver the fun things in a right way. This is the example of the poetic function which is found in one of Ika Natassa’s novels. Yang bikin percetakannya pusing adalah puisi Pablo Neruda yang kami taruh di halaman pertama undangan. Ya maklum deh, puisi itu dalam bahasa Spanyol, yang ejaannya aneh-aneh. Aku dan Ajie suka banget puisi ini karena kata-katanya indah. Mau tau ga bunyinya apa? Ay, amar es un viaje con agua y con estrellas, con aire ahogado y bruscas tempestades de harina: amar es un combate de relampágos y dos cuerpos por una sola miel derrotados. (p. 220; ch. 11). From those two paragraphs, the first one was the narration of the novel which is written from Andrea’s point of view. She talks about her wedding invitation, and that in the first page of the invitation, there is a poem from Pablo Neruda. The second paragraph is the poetic function of code switching. She writes the poem of Pablo Neruda directly, which is written in Spain without translating it into Indonesian. Another example of using the poetic function is when someone quotes a song. It happened in this illustration, a conversation between two best friends. They are talking about a new song from their favorite band.


J: Do you know the song of iKON? The tittle is Wait for Me. K: Yes, of course I know. J: Please tell me the lyric of the song before this part. gidaryeo jigeum neoegero gal tenikka, eodie itgeon gal tenikka. K: Ah, that part. Oh neowa na gateun haneul arae isseodo mannal sun eobtjiman nareul mideojwo I’ll be there for you.

The poetic function of the conversation occurs two times here. The first one is when J sang the song in order to ask K about the part before that part. The second one is when K sang the lyric before the part that J asked before.

B. Theoretical Framework This section briefly describes the summarized and synthesized theories which are used to answer the research questions. As this research has two research questions, which are related to the types of code switching and the speech functions of code switching, there are also two theories which are used. The first research question will be analyzed by using Poplack’s theory. The second question will be analyzed by using Appel and Muysken’s theory. The researcher used a theory which is proposed by Poplack in 1980 to answer the first research question. According to Poplack (1980), there are three types of code switching. The first one is called as tag switching; the second one is inter-sentential code switching; and the last one is intra-sentential code switching. 1.

Tag switching is code switching which includes the use of a tag, for example I mean, yeah, you see, anyway, etc.

2.

Intra-setential switching is code switching which is usually in the form of a word or a phrase within a single sentence.


3.

Inter-sentential switching is code switching which happens between sentences and is usually in the form of a clause or a sentence. In analyzing the speech functions of code switching, the researcher used a

theory from Appel and Muysken (1987). According to Appel and Muysken (1987), there are six speech functions of code switching. They are referential, directive, expressive, phatic, metalinguistic, and poetic functions. 1.

The referential function is oftenly mistaken by people as the result of lacking in mastering and understanding languages.

2.

The directive function is aimed to include or exclude a person from the part of conversation or discussion.

3.

The expressive function is used to express the speakers feeling, whether it is joy, sadness, anger, excitement, etc.

4.

The phatic function is used when the speakers want to stress or emphasize some words which are considered as important things.

5.

The metalinguistic function is used when someone wants to show off his or her linguistic skills in order to impress other people.

6.

The phatic function is used to quote or tell stories, songs, jokes, which are originaly in foreign language. It is usually used as entertainment purposes.


CHAPTER III RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

This chapter provides the methodology used by the researcher in conducting this research. There are four sections in this chapter. The first section is research method, which describes the method used in this research. The second section is source of data, in which it provides the source used in gathering the data of the research. The third section provides the instruments and data gathering techniques. The last section describes the technique used in analyzing the data.

A. Research Method In this research, the researcher used qualitative research. According to Hancock (2002, p. 6), “qualitative research is concerned with developing explanations of social phenomenon”. In addition, Taylor and Bogdan (2000) state that qualitative research aims to present rich descriptions of phenomena. Besides, qualitative research also “aims to help us to understand the social world in which we live and why things are the way they are” (Hancock, Ockleford, and Windridge; 2009, p. 6). Mayring in 2014 also adds that qualitative research is an open, explorative, descriptive, and interpretive conception. As addition, Grix (2004) states that qualitative research usually involves in-depth investigation of knowledge, such as archival or other documentary analysis. As the explanations

26


above, this research presents an explanation of social phenomenon of code switching which was used by Keara in a descriptive way. Qualitative research helped the researcher in gaining deeper understanding about the types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara in the novel. In order to answer the research questions of this research, the researcher conducted a content analysis. Silverman (2001) states that “content analysis is an accepted method of textual investigation, particularly in the field of mass communication” (p. 159). In 2004, Krippendorff defines that content analysis is “a research technique for making replicable and valid inferences from texts (or other meaningful matter) to the contexts of their use” (p. 233). He adds that content analysis can be taken with any written materials. As what Krippendorff said, the data can be taken from any written materials such as books, magazines, articles, novels, documents and newspaper. However, other materials or sources such as songs, videos, movies, and speeches can also be used by using their transcript. In this research, the source which is used is in the form of a novel.

B. Source of Data In conductiong this research, the researcher used a novel entitled Antologi Rasa which is written by Ika Natassa as the main source to gather the data. The novel has been published in two editions, and the latest edition was completed with some illustrations of the scenes. All of the editions of the novel were published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama in Jakarta. The novel is written in Indonesian. However there are some words, phrases, clauses, and even sentences


written in English. The switch of language between Indonesian to English (code switching) happens quite often in the novel, therefore the researcher could get a lot of data from the novel. However, in this research, the researcher only focused on analyzing the code switching used by Keara, the main character of the novel. Therefore, it i makes this research different from other research.

C. Instruments and Data Gathering Technique In order to acquire the data, the researcher used content analysis as this research is qualitative research. Therefore, there were two instruments which were used here. The first one was human instrument and the second one was document. 1.

Human Instruments In qualitative research, just like this research, the researcher can be

included as the instrument of data collection (Denzin & Lincoln, 2003). It meant that the data are gathered through this human instrument or the researcher. The role of the researcher is more etic—from an outside view, therefore the role of the researcher is more objective. According to Poggenpoel and Myburgh (2003), the researcher is the key in obtaining the data for the research. The researcher also acts as the data collector in answering the research questions. 2.

Documents Another instrument which was used in this research was in the form of a

document. In order to get the data, the researcher read the document which in this research is a novel. Annum (2016, p. 4) says that: Although reading is more to do with literature review, it is also instrument for studying public documents such as newspapers, minutes of meetings


and privates documents such as letters, biographies and diaries to enable the researcher obtain the language and words of informants who may not be alive at the time of the research. Ary, Jacobs, and Razavich (2002, p. 424) also support the statement, that in qualitative research which “dealt with human situation, researcher need a flexible instrument who could read that documents or talk with other people”. Therefore the instruments used in the research were the researcher (human instrument) and the document (novel). The data in this research were gathered by the researcher through the novel. First, the researcher listed all the code switching which was used by Keara in the novel. After all the data were gathered, the next step was coding and classifying the data into two categories, based on the types and speech functions of code switching.

D. Data Analysis Technique To analyze the data, there are two steps which can be used: giving codes and arranging them according to the theme or the hypotheses we have; or through content analysis. Therefore, here the researcher, in order to analyze the data, made some codes and put them into a table of categorizations. The table was made based on the research questions in this research which are the types and speech functions of code switching used by Keara. After the table was formed, the researcher then classified those listed words into the suitable column. The following table was the blueprint which will be used by the researcher to analyze the data.


Table 3.1. Blueprint of the Data Sheet of the Types and Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara

Dialo P gue/ a # Mon g ologu e e

1

2 3

Ask Becky Bloo mwoo d.

Cod e Swi tchi ng

ask

Context

Types of Code Switchin g

P

Pr

T

In T tC S S

Hote l in Sing apor e

Kear a, mon olog ue

The meaning of happiness for every person

Speech functions of Code Switching

It r C S

P R D E P M E o F F F F F P F





… …

Notes: Abbreviations: # : Number P : Place Pr : Participant(s) T : Topic TS : Tag switching IntCS : Inter-sentential code switching ItrCS : Intra-sentential code switching

RF : Referential function DF : Directive function EF : Expressive function PF : Phatic function MF : Metalinguistic function PoF : Poetic function EP : Expressive and Phatic functions

The table helped the researcher in listing the code switching used by Keara. Here, the researcher added a new category as there are some words which explain more than one functions. Those words represent expressive and phatic functions. After the data were gathered, those data were put into the table in a complete version (in the form of monologues or dialogues) with chronological order, which was based


on the page number. Then, the context of the dialogues or monologues was added to support the analysis. The next step was classifying the data according to the types and speech functions of using code switching. Last, the total frequency of each category was added to form the data findings.


CHAPTER IV RESEARCH FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

This chapter provides the research findings and the discussion. The first section discusses about the research findings on the types and speech functions of code switching. The second section deals with the discussion of the types and speech functions of code switching.

A. Research Findings 1.

The Types of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa This part aims to present the findings on the types of code switching used

by Keara. It is to answer the first research question as stated in Chapter I. In analyzing the types of code switching, this research is using Poplack’s theory (1980). According to her, there are three types of code switching: tag switching, inter-sentential, and intra-sentential code switching. Based on the theory, the researcher had made a list of the data findings. The findings showed that there are 726 code switching used by Keara. Therefore, the result showed that the most frequent type used in the novel is intra-sentential code switching, while the least used is tag switching. The complete data of the findings is presented in the table below.

32


Table 4.1. The Data Findings of the Types of Code Switching

Types of Code Switching Tag Switching Inter-sentential Code Switching (IntCS) Intra-sentential Code Switching (ItrCS) Total

Quantity 53 246 428 726

Percentage (%) 7.3% 33.8% 58.95% 100%

As seen on the table above, the most frequent type used by Keara is intrasentential switching. It is because Keara used code switching mostly in the form of words or phrases within a single sentence. Even though intra-sentential switching is said to be the most difficult, however Keara showed that she could use intra-sentential switching well enough without violating the grammar rules. It is also a proof that she has good understanding in both languages, English and Indonesian.

2.

The Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa This part presents the findings on the speech functions of using code

switching by Keara. As stated in Chapter I, this research uses Appel and Muysken’s theory (1987) in order to classify the speech functions of code switching. There are six speech functions: the referential function, directive, expressive, phatic, metalinguistic, and poetic functions. The result showed that there are 41 referential functions, 0 directive function, 197 expressive functions, 146 phatic functions, 271 metalinguistic functions, 34 poetic functions, and 37 combinations of expressive and phatic functions. In order to make it clearer, the findings of the speech functions are presented in the following table.


Table 4.2. The Data Findings of the Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara

Speech Functions of Code Switching Referential functions Directive functions Expressive functions Phatic functions Metalinguistic functions Poetic functions Combination of Expressive and Phatic functions Total

41 0 197 146 271 34

Precentage (%) 6% 0% 27% 20% 37.4% 4.6%

37

5%

726

100%

Quantity

From the data findings above, it can be seen that the most frequent speech function of code switching used by Keara is metalinguistic function. Therefore, the least frequently used speech function of code switching used by Keara is the poetic function. Here, Keara did not use the directive function. As the explanation on the previous chapter, one of the goals of using the directive function is to exclude some people from the part of a conversation. Keara was the type of person who spoke only to people she liked. She did not talk with stranger or else. She was also a woman who talked about everything she liked. B. Research Discussion The data findings showed on how frequent Keara used code switching. It seemed that she has been accustomed to code switch in her daily activities in communicating with others especially her close friends. The use of code switching here was also influenced by the background of Keara and other characters. It was stated in the novel that all of the characters had been spending their time abroad, especially Keara.


Hoffman (1991) states that there are various reasons of code switching, it can be contextual, situational, and personal. He also adds that bilingual or multilingual, in informal situation may code switch a lot. Keara had moved from one town to another, from one country to another. When she was 9 years old, her father got a duty to work in Houston, Texas, and it made her moved to Houston. It is also stated in the novel that Keara continued her study as a freshmen in New York University. It is one of the reasons on why someone, whether a bilingual or multilingual uses code switching. Moreover, they have already known each other well and shared the same educational, socio-economic background, and ethnic. Here, Keara often used code switching when she talked with her friends, Dinda, Harris, and Ruly who were also working as bankers. They shared the same educational, socio-economic background, and ethnic. Keara also used code switching when she talked to Panji. Even though Panji was not a banker, but they shared the same socio-economic background and ethnic. Furthermore, the discussion on the types and speech functions of code switching were explained in the separate sections. It was in order to make the explanation clearer since the same topic was discussed in the same section. The first section was about the types of code switching, and the second section was about the speech functions of code switching. 1.

The Types of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa This research used Poplack’s theory (1980) in discussing about the types of

code switching. There are three types of code switching here. The first one is tag


switching. The second one is inter-sentential code switching. The last one is intrasentential code switching. a.

Tag Switching Tag switching is the one which is related to the inclusion of a tag. It does

not need a great understanding of both languages. Moreover, tag switching can be put in the beginning, middle, or end of a sentence. The example of tag switching used by Keara is shown in the following dialogue, between her and Dinda. They were best friends since they were in the university, and they also shared the same background. They were accustomed to use code switching. Dinda: Crap. You’re in trouble, babe. Keara: Yeah, I know. So you see, gue memang ga bisa menjelaskan, Din.

Dialogue, p. 27 The dialogue took place when Keara and Dinda were having lunch in Canteen, Pacific Place. Therefore, it is in informal situation. They were talking about Ruly. The guy whom Keara loved, who did not know Keara’s drinking habit. Therefore, Dinda said that Keara is in trouble. Here, Keara responded it with many tag switching. She said ‘yeah, I know’ and ‘so you see’. The words ‘yeah, I know’ and ‘so you see’ can be used by almost all people. It does not need high knowledge of English to say those words. Those tag switching also expressed on how desperate Keara was. She did not know the reason of loving Ruly and she also needed to pretend be a nice woman who did not drink in front of Ruly. Another example of tag switching here is in the monologue bellow.


Anyway, inti cerita film itu adalah teknologi yang memungkinkan orang untuk memasuki alam bawah sadar orang lain. Monologue, p. 62 The monologue is when Keara was shopping crazily in ION Orchard Road. She talked about The Cell movie. However, the point here is that she wanted to try that technology created in the movie. She wanted to try it so she could forget Ruly from her mind. The tag switching here is ‘anyway’. It is because ‘anyway’ can be put in the beginning of the sentence or in the end of the sentence. It is moveable. Both of the examples above are the use of tag switching in front of the sentence. Here is another example of tag switching which is in the end of the sentence. It is when Keara wanted to forget Ruly from her mind. In order to do that, she went to a club in Singapore, Zirca. Dan Ruly pernah bilang…oh great, see, Rul? Monologue, p. 70 The tag switching here is ‘oh great, see’. She expressed her feeling by using the tag switching ‘oh great, see’. Even in a crowded and noisy place like Zirca, she could not even forget about Ruly. At that time, she was thinking about some ways to forget Ruly. She thought about some drugs like decontaminant, fumigant, disinfectant, and many more. However, in the mindle of her thought, she suddenly remembered about what Ruly has said to her. Here is another example of code switching happened in the middle of a sentence. Memang untuk kerja selama seminggu penuh, but still, for me Bali is Bali.

Monologue, p. 153


The tag switching here is ‘but still’. Keara used code switching here to express her feeling. She was supposed to work in Bali for one week. However, she still thought that Bali was Bali. Bali for her was a place to walk around, take some pictures, shopping, etc. In short, Bali was a place to have fun for Keara. That is why she said ‘but still’. b. Inter-sentensial Code Switching The use of inter-sentential switching is quite often in the dialogues and monologues performed by Keara. As stated before that inter-sentential switching happens in the form of clause or sentence between sentences. Here is the example of inter-sentential switching, performed in the dialogue between Keara and Dinda. Keara and Dinda were best friends since they were in the university. Both of them had mastered English well and therefore they were accustomed to use code switching when they talked. Keara: What the hell do you think you were doing? Dinda: Maksudnya? Keara: Buat apa tadi lo harus pakai ngobrol-ngobrol beramah-tamah dengan si Harris segala? Dinda: Aduh, Key, masih ya? Kejadiannya kan juga udah setahun yang lalu. Keara: He fucked me when I was drunk. Mau berapa tahun pun fakta itu nggak berubah. Dinda: Keara, in all fairness, you fucked him when he was drunk too, right? Dialogue, p. 232-233 The dialogue is when Keara saw Dinda talked to Harris when they were in Changi. They accidently met there. Harris just watched F1 race, whereas Dinda and Keara were from Manila, watching John Mayer’s concert. The dialogue happened in informal situation.


Keara said “He fucked me when I was drunk. Mau berapa tahun pun fakta itu nggak berubah.” At the first, Keara spoke in English and changed to Indonesian to finish her sentences. The code switching here is inter-sentential switching in the level of sentence. Both sentences were in different languages. However, they completed each other. Another example of inter-sentential switching is shown in the following monologue. This monologue was when Keara thought about Panji. She still thought that Panji was only playing with her. Therefore, whatever Panji did to show that he loved Keara, Keara only saw it as a way for Panji to win the game. Aku tahu ini mungkin saja satu dari sekian banyak caranya untuk membuatku jatuh cinta jatuh bangun—I am officially insane for quoting a dangdut song—memuja dirinya. Monologue, p. 255 Here, the code switching is in the form of a clause which is a part of a sentence. The clause here explained about Keara’s feeling on why she used or quoted a dangdut song to express her thought about Panji. c.

Intra-sentential Code Switching Intra-sentential switching is said to be the most difficult one. Even so, the

most frequent code switching found in this novel is intra-sentetial switching. This type seems to be simple since it is usually in a form of word or phrase. However, if the speaker does not have a high understanding of the grammatical rule or part of speech, it can be resulted as grammatical violations. Here, there are two examples of intra-sentential switching.


The first one is in the monologue bellow. It was when Keara arrived in Rumah Sakit Pondok Indah, and she had to inform Denise’s parents about an accident that happened to Denise. Jadi aku meraih BlackBerry-ku di handbag, mencari nama ibu Denise di contacts, dan menghabiskan lima menit bicara berganti-gantian dengan ayah dan ibu Denide di telepon, berusaha setenang mungkin walaupun ibunya sudah jejeritan di ujung telepon sana, dan sekuat mungkin menahan air mata saat akhirnya pembicaraan di telepon kami tutup. Monologue, p. 266 The intra-sentential switching are ‘handbag’ and ‘contacts’. However, the clearest one is ‘contacts’. ‘Contacts’ are noun. When the speaker does not aware of the use of part of speech, it may result in grammatical violation. For example, when the word ‘contacts’ are replaced with ‘contacting’ which is a verb. The second example is the example where people may think that Keara was violating grammatical rule. It was when Keara talked about Denise and Kemal, Denise’s husband. Yang kutahu hanya bahwa dengan begitu banyak masalah pernikahan Kemal dan Denise, entah bagaimana caraya mereka make it work dan terlihat bahagia. Monologue, p. 290-291 For someone who is not aware of using subject-verb agreement, they may think that it is wrong to say ‘make it work’. However, there is a grammatical rule which say that ‘make it’ is followed by verb one. The name of this type of sentence is Causative. It is as the same as ‘let it go’ and ‘let it flow’. We do not say it as ‘let it goes’ and ‘let it flows’. The pattern of causative sentence is make/let/have + subject + verb one. The use of this pattern is to force someone to do something.


Therefore, that is why intra-sentential switching is said to be the most difficult one. It needs high awareness and understanding of both language.

2.

The Speech Functions of Code Switching Used by Keara in Antologi Rasa As what has stated before, this section answered the research question

number two. Therefore, as stated in Chapter II, this research used Appel and Muysken’s (1987) theory about the speech functions of code switching. There are six speech functions according to Appel and Muysken (1987). However, not all of the six speech functions are used by Keara. a.

The Referential Function The referential function is used when someone uses code switching

because he does not know or cannot find the right word in some languages. It refers to code switching because of the lack of vocabulary or because there is no such terms to describe the word in other languages. It is the most common function that most people are mistaken since they believe that someone who uses code switching is lacking in vocabulary. In the novel, there are 41 referential functions of code switching. One of them is expressed in the monologue below. The monologue is when Keara had a dinner with Ruly in Kopi Tiam Oey. At that time, Keara was a bit tired after finishing her meeting. Keara’s way to refresh her mind was by taking pictures. Aku mengangkat mata dari viewfinder kameraku. Monologue, p. 45


Here, Keara said the word ‘viewfinder’ which refers to a small part of a camera that you look through to see what photograph you are going to take. There is no exact term of Indonesian word to describe the word ‘viewfinder’. Therefore, Keara used code switching here as the referential function. Another example of the referential function is shown in the dialogue bellow. Harris Keara Harris

: Abis lo diem terus dari tadi, takut gue. Bukan karena kita terpaksa sekamar dan gue ngoroknya kenceng, kan? : Ngorok lo emang kenceng, Risjad, ingetin gue beli earplug sebelum kita pulang nanti, ya. : Ngapain pake earplug? Dengan iPod lo itu aja elo udah sukses ngacangin gue seharian. Dialogue, p. 55

The dialogue takes place in Bonsai Garden when Keara and Harris just walked around the Orchard Road. Harris was Keara’s best friend. Both of them understood English well. They usually used code switching when they talked to each other. The dialogue happens when they went to Bonsai Garden because the wheater was quite hot. Moreover, Harris was worried because Keara stayed quite all the day. From the dialogue, Keara said the word ‘earplug’. Here, ‘earplug’ is a small and soft material, such as cotton or plastic that it put into your ear to reduce noises. Actually, the Indonesia term of ‘earplug’ is ‘penyumbat telinga’. However, the term of ‘penyumbat telinga’ is rarely known. Moreover, ‘earplug’ refers to something which is cooler than ‘penyumbat telinga’. Both of the examples of referential functions are related to technology. Technology is mostly produced in America. That is why most of technology’s


terms are in English. Therefore, most of technology’s terms are not translated into Indonesian. b. The Directive Function The directive function aims to include or exclude a person from a part of conversation. People code switch in order to make other people understand the topic of the conversation, or to make other people confuse and do not understand the topic of the conversation. It is usually used when some people want to talk about other people, but the people they want to talk about are the part of the conversation or they are nearby. From 328 pages of the novel and from 726 code switching used by Keara, there is not even one which is included as the directive function. It happens because Keara did not aim to code switch to include or exclude other people. Moreover, she was in the circumstances when people around her also spoke and understood English. Another reason is that directive function needs longer conversation or discussion. However, the conversations in the novel were often done in a short time with the same topic and same participants. The participants here were no more than four people, and all of them were included as the part of the conversation. When they wanted to talk about something that they did not want other people to know, they never said it to other people, instead, they only spoke it in their mind, which was explained through monologues. Since the focus is Keara, it was shown from her monologues which were explained through Keara’s point of view.


The following scene is to explain more on why there is no directive function in the novel, told from Keara’s point of view. Keara : What the hell do you think you were doing? Dinda : Maksudnya? Keara : Buat apa tadi lo harus pakai ngobrol-ngobrol beramah-tamah dengan si Harris segala? Dinda : Aduh, Key, masih ya? Kejadiannya kan juga udah setahun yang lalu. Keara : He fucked me when I was drunk. Mau berapa tahun pun fakta itu nggak berubah. Dinda : Keara, in all fairness, you fucked him when he was drunk too, right? Keara : Ya tapi kan nggak bisa gitu, Din. Dialogue, p. 232-233 The scene above happened in an airport when Keara and Dinda accidently met Harris. Keara, at that time was in the bathroom and she was surprised when seeing Dinda talked with Harris. Keara did not show the feeling of annoyance when she saw it. She did not also talk to Dinda about her annoyance to Harris in front of him by speaking in other languages such as English. She talked to Dinda right after they left Harris. Keara spoke in English not as the directive function, but more on the expressive function, based on the scene. There were some possible reasons why she did not use code switching as the directive function. First, Keara chose to leave Harris as soon as possible rather than to pretend to be nice in front of him. Keara was always that type of person. It can be seen through the novel. Instead of pretending to be nice, but deep inside feel annoyed, she preferred to be a bit rude by leaving first. Second, Harris understood English as well as Keara and Dinda. He could even speak and understand Italian. Therefore, it was such of wasting


time to speak in English or code switch to exclude Harris from the part of conversation. c.

The Expressive Function When someone uses code switching to express what is on his mind or what

he feels, it is called as an expressive function. The expressive function can either indicate happiness or sadness or even anger. In the novel, some of code switching used by Keara were to express her feeling. This expression was portrayed when Keara was answering Dinda (Keara’s best friend)’s question about her feeling to Ruly. They were in Canteen, Pacific Place. Keara talked on how much she loved Ruly. However, Dinda still did not get the reasons on why Keara really fell for a man like Ruly. Dinda even compared Ruly to other men who Keara ever dated. This was what Keara said to answer Dinda’s question. “Elo tahu, kan, betapa bencinya gue sama kopi luak? Gue bisa minum kopi luak, gue juga nggak ada masalah sama aromanya, aroma yang buat semua pencinta kopi seperti elo misalnya, pasti dianggap menggairahkan. Bisa membuat elo betah menghirupnya bergelas-gelas. Gue pernah mencoba kopi luak, Din. Biasa aja rasanya, dan sebenarnya gue ga suka. Buat gue, semua laki-laki bangsat yang pernah bersama gue dulu is just like kopi luak. They’re really delicious, people are lining up for them, but it’s still coffee that some monkey is shitting. In the end, they’re all a bunch of tiny expensive little shit. Ruly, on the other hand… well, Ruly is Ruly. Gue tahu dari cerita gue, walaupun elo belum pernah ketemu dia, elo pasti berpikir kenapa gue bisa sampai kecanduan sama laki-laki yang seperti elo bilang ‘nggak gue banget’ ini…” Dialogue, p. 27 From what Keara said on the dialogue above, it expressed her feeling towards Ruly, as an answer to Dinda. Keara expressed her feeling toward her exes by comparing them with luak coffee. She said that all of the men she had dated before were just like luak coffee which is delicious, but it is still a coffee. The


speech function of code switching Keara used here is to express her feeling about her exes and to tell Dinda on how different Ruly was from the others. The code switching she used gave a strong expressive function. Another example of using code switching as expressive function is shown from the following monologue. Ruly si hemat bicara ini mungkin akan selalu jadi misteri yang ingin kupecahkan, tapi Panji is the guy who feeds my ego pretty well right now.

Monologue, p. 162 The monologue was when Keara and Ruly were in Ayodya private beach. They went there for business purposes. One morning, they met when Ruly was jogging and Keara was waiting to take a picture of sunrise. Ruly initiated to join Keara and waited the sunrise. The monologue happened when Keara was comparing Ruly to Panji. The code switching here indicated the expressive function. ‘Panji is the guy who feeds my ego pretty well’ was showing about Keara’s feeling. Even though she was in love with Ruly, but the one who could make her happy by feeding her ego was Panji. It was showing the selfish side of Keara, in which she did the ‘no string attached’ relationship with Panji, but her heart still wanted Ruly. d. The Phatic Function Some people use code switching when they want to stress or emphasize some words of their speech. Some other code switch in the end of their speech. Those people who code switch in order to give stress in the end of their speech, use the phatic function. The phatic function is commonly used only in some


words, not the whole texts. It aims to make other people or the audience or the respondents aware that the one mentioned in other language is important or should be remembered. There are some phatic functions used by Keara in the novel. This is the example of it. The monologue took place when Keara was in Dinda’s house. She was explaining on how Dinda met Panca, her husband. Sahabatku sejak kuliah yang terkenal player-nya itu, yang selalu merasa nista banget kalau harus menginjakkan kaki ke perpustakaan, justru pertama kali bertemu Panca di perpustakaan universitas kami dulu.

Monologue, p. 95 Here, Keara said the word ‘player’. The function of saying the word ‘player’ was to give stress on how Dinda was when they were in the university. ‘Player’ here used to explain that Dinda had been the type of a girl who liked to ‘play’ with boys’ hearts. She was not a serious person who liked serious relationship. Another example of using the phatic function is shown in the following dialogue. It was when Keara was asked by Dinda to accompany her buying a new dress. It happened in Dinda’s house. Dinda: Tapi gue tadi memang serius nanyanya. Kenapa nggak ikutan? Kan seru gue ada teman buat nyela-nyela orang di acara itu. Keara: Nggak ah, Din. Gue nggak mau ngasih sinyal yang misleading ke si Panji. Dari awal kami udah sepakat ini cuma main-main, dan menampilkan diri di acara keluarga itu no way near sekadar mainmain. Dialogue, p. 210 There are two speech functions of the dialogue spoken by Keara. However, the one which expresses the phatic function is ‘no way near’. Here, Dinda was asking Keara whether she was asked by Panji to attend the annual charity dinner or not.


Panji had asked Keara, bur she refused to attend it since it was a family gathering. As for Keara, her relationship with Panji was only game, no string attached. For her, showing in a family event when they were just playing games was ‘no way near’ just a game. Therefore, she stressed the ‘word no way near’. e.

The Metalinguistic Function People who code switch in order to comment on other languages use the

metalinguistic function. Someone who uses the metalinguistic function usually wants to show off his linguistic skills. The metalinguistic functions found in the novel were all about showing linguistic skill. The novel was more about Keara’s life, and yet it did not discuss any section to give her a change in commenting other language. Therefore, Keara used code switching as the show off that she was good at mastering English. It was a sign or effect of spending a great deal of time abroad. Moreover, if we take a look on Keara’s personality which was told through her monologues and dialogues, she was a bit arrogance on what she had, she was the type of a show off person. Someone’s personality can be seen through the way he or she speaks and uses languages. The example of using code switching as the metalinguistic function is shown in the monologue below. It was when Keara was in her apartment. She was telling about what she did when she was with Panji. Permainan flirting-flirting tolol ini di antara aku dan dia yang telah kami mainkan berkali-kali, mulai dari telepon-telepon nggak penting, BBM, sampai dinner dates – dan lunch dates dan breakfast dates.

Monologue, p. 104


There, Keara used the word ‘flirting’, ‘dinner dates’, ‘lunch dates’, and ‘breakfast dates’. Actually, the words ‘permainan’ and ‘flirting-flirting’ have the same unsure which is a game. Here, she could just say ‘permainan’ or ‘flirting-flirting’. Moreover, she could replace the words ‘flirting-flirting’ as ‘bergenit-genit’, ‘dinner dates’ as ‘kencan makan malam’, ‘lunch dates’ as ‘kencan makan siang’, and ‘breakfast dates’ as ‘kencan makan pagi/sarapan’. However, she did not do that even though there are Indonesian words to explain those English words. Another example of the use of the metalinguistic function is shown through the following monologue. Here, Keara was in Aksara, Pacific Place. She was thinking about what happened that morning when she was asked to work with Ruly in the same team for six months. Aku cuma bisa menelan ludah saat managing director-ku mengatakan kami dikumpulkan di situ untuk bekerja bareng full time dalam satu tim selama enam bulan penuh untuk mengerjakan proyek penyusunan corporate plan entah apalah—aku juga tidak peduli—bersama-sama tim konsultan yang kemudian memasuki ruangan dan berbicara Bahasa Inggris dengan logat kental Prancis yang membuatku ingin mengebor lubang telingaku. Monologue, p. 119 On the monologue, Keara said ‘managing director’ and ‘corporate plan’. Actually she could just say ‘manajer pengelolaan’ and ‘rencana perusahaan’ instead of saying ‘managing director’ and ‘corporate plan’. Here is another example of metalinguistic function used in Keara’s monologue. Sampai BlackBerry-ku berdering dengan satu ringtone yang aku assign hanya untuk satu orang. Monologue, p. 132 The monologue above took place when Keara was in her apartment. She was with Panji, doing their routine when they had time to meet. There, Keara used


the words ‘ringtone’ and ‘assign’. The Indonesian words for ‘ringtone’ and ‘assign’ are ‘nada dering’ and ‘terapkan’ or ‘pasang’. f.

The Poetic Function The poetic function has similar meaning with quoting somebody else’s

words. It is when people code switch in order to tell jokes or stories in the exact way as its origin. Some refers to entertain reasons, and some aims to deliver the real meaning. It is because sometimes, delivering something in its origin words has stronger effect than translating it to other languages. There are some poetic functions used by Keara in the novel. The following monologue is one of them. Jiddhu Krishnamurti pernah bilang: “When you love, there is neither the ‘you’ nor the ‘me’. In that state there is only flame without smoke.” Monologue, p. 82-83 In the monologue above, Keara used code switching to quote what was said by Jiddhu Krishnamurti, a philosopher, speaker, and writer. When quoting what Jiddu has said, Keara was in a bar, broken hearted. She felt sad and desperate on why she loved Ruly deeply. On the other hand, Ruly did not even notice her and her feeling. Keara quoted Jiddhu’s because she found out that her mind and her heart were separated, they had different needs. The mind wanted the heart to stop loving Ruly, but the heart did not want to stop, even though it was hurt. Therefore, she quoted Jiddhu’s words, in the origin language, which is is English, without translating or paraphrasing it. It is to show the words originally, so it can deliver the real meaning. Here is another example of using code switching as poetic function.


Bahkan kata-kata sederhana Dr. Seuss yang biasanya mampu menamparku – “You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose” – tidak cukup kuat untuk menghilangkan signifikansi peristiwa tadi pagi. Monologue, p. 118 When quoting Dr. Seuss’s words, Keara was in a book store, trying to forget on what happened that morning. Since she was back from Singapore and accidently met Panji, Dinda’s brother-in-low, she tried to use Panji to forget Ruly. It was almost working, until that morning. Keara was told by her boss to go on a meeting. The aim of the meeting was to make a corporate plan, and therefore, Keara was forced to be in the same team, worked with Ruly for six months, full time. The relation of that morning event with the quotes from Dr. Seuss is that Keara felt that she was stupid. “You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose” – Keara knew it exactly, but still she could not control herself to keep falling for Ruly. The reason of quoting Dr. Seuss’ words was because he was Keara’s favorite philosopher. He was an American writer, cartoonist, animator, book publisher, and well known for writing children’s story books. Besides, those were Keara’s favorite words from Dr. Seuss. It is reflected when she said, “Bahkan kata-kata sederhana Dr. Seuss yang biasanya mampu menamparku…” – even the simple words from Dr. Seuss that usually awake her cannot make it anymore. The next example is when Keara tried to define the journey of loving Ruly. It was in the night when Keara and Ruly were attending dining hall cruise ship. Keara never liked to be in a ship or boat except when she has her Dramamine with


her. She has motion sickness in water. At that time, Ruly was the one who found a medicine for her and his action ended up in remaining Keara to his action four years ago, when he helped a drunken Keara, as shown in the monologue bellow.

Karena kebaikan hatimu malam ini hanya mengingatkanku kembali pada satu fakta yang telah kucoba kubur dalam-dalam: bahwa apa yang ada diantara kita mungkin takkan pernah bisa seperti yang ditulis Shakespeare, “Journey ends in lovers meeting.”

Monologue, p. 199 The reason of borrowing Shakespeare words was that it reflected Keara’s feeling. Shakespeare said that a journey will end when two people who love each other meet. However, Keara said that it will not happen to her and Ruly. It was because the one who was in love was only Keara. Ruly was in love with Denise. Therefore, their journey would never end even though they met each other. g.

The Combination of Expressive and Phatic Functions This category was a proof that code switching is a result of human

creativity. In this novel, there are some expressions or words which represented both of expressive and phatic functions. This function expressed both of Keara’s feeling and her needs to emphasize it. The example of using expressive and phatic functions at the same time is followed on the dialogue bellow. Keara: Buat gue, foto itu magis, Rul. Dia nggak perlu bicara, nggak perlu bermusik, nggak perlu bergerak, bahkan nggak perlu berwarna, just a piece of silent photograph, but it speaks to me. Kayak elo tiba-tiba ditarik sama lubang hitam, masuk ke peristiwa itu, berada di tengah-tangah mereka, dan ikut merasakan ketakutan mereka. I just love how a simple picture could tell a long complicated story.

Dialogue, p. 46-47


The dialogue took place when Keara and Ruly were in Kopi Tiam Oey. It was their first dinner together with just the two of them. Keara was telling about her passion and love in photography. Here, she used two speech functions of code switching, which were expressive and phatic functions. On the dialogue above, Keara said, “…just a piece of silent photograph, but it speaks to me.” When she said those words, she expressed her love and passion toward photography and she also emphasized it. It can be seen when she said ‘silent photograph’ but then she said ‘it speaks’. Here, she said in irony that even though it is a silent photograph but it speaks to her. Moreover, she also used personification. Photograph is unanimate. Therefore, it cannot speak. From those words, we can conclude that she used code switching to emphasize her love toward photography. She delivered and expressed her passion and still she emphasized it, to make sure that Ruly could also sense Keara’s feeling on photography. Another example is drawn in the monologue bellow. It was when Keara was forced to come to Dinda’s house and listen to Dinda’s jealousy when her husband preferred to watch a TV show than her. Aku lupa waktu itu si monyet ini harus ke perpustakaan karena apa, disuruh sama profesornya nyari buku apa gitu, tapi being the library virgin that she was dan satu dari sedikit orang bertampang Indonesia yang berkeliaran di NYU, kelihatan banget dong celingak-celinguk nggak jelas di situ, sampai Panca muncul dan membantu dia. Monologue, p. 95-96 Here, Keara talked about how Dinda met her husband, Panca. They both met for the first time in library. Keara said that, “…being the library virgin that she was


…” to describe how Dinda was when in the collage. Keara expressed her feeling in which she felt that Dinda was funny for had not been being in the library before. She also stressed her funny feeling toward Dinda by using code switching to tell about it.


CHAPTER V CONCLUSIONS, IMPLICATIONS, AND RECOMMENDATIONS

There are three sections which are provided here. The first section is conclusions which explain the conclusions of this research. The second is implications which explain the implications of this research to English teaching and learning. The last section is recommendations.

A. Conclusions Based on what have been stated on the research questions and discussion, there are some things which can be drawn as a conclusion. The first one is about the types of code switching used by Keara in the novel. The second one is about the speech functions of using code switching performed by Keara. According to the theory from Poplack (1980) about the types of code switching, there are three types which are tag switching, intra-sentential, and inter-sentential code switching. Those three types are found in the novel. However, the data findings and discussions found that the most frequently used type by Keara is intra-sentential code switching. The findings also stated that tag switching is the least frequently used by Keara. Even though intra-sentential code switching is said to be the most difficult one, but here, Keara used it the most. On the other hand, tag switching which is said to be the easiest one, became the least used by Keara. It indicated that Keara has high understanding of both Indonesian and English. 55


As for the speech functions of using code switching, there are six functions if we follow the theory from Appel and Muysken (1987). However, not all of the six functions are performed by Keara. She only used five functions, with the exception of directive function. Therefore, the most frequent function which is used by Keara is the metalinguistic function. Keara did not use the directive function as she did not aim to include or exclude someone or the participant of the conversation. She was the type of person who talked only to someone she wanted to talk to. Therefore, she did not use the directive function. The metalinguistic function is mostly used by Keara because she was the type of show off person. She had spent her childhood and education life abroad. She also worked in an international bank which allowed her to communicate with foreign people quite often. Moreover, she had some close friends who shared the same background, socio-ecomonic, and ethnic. Even so, she was the one who used code switching most of the time. There are two more speech functions which are used more frequently than others. They are expressive and phatic functions. Phatic functions used by Keara when she wanted to emphasize her words. It has been mostly done when she said something important. Expressive functions used as she wanted to express her feelling, wheather it was sad, joy, or angry. She was the type of person who showed her feeling easily. Moreover, this novel mostly talked about Keara’s feeling. There are also some code switching performed by Keara which have more than one function. For instance, a single word which brings two functions such as


Expressive and Phatic Functions. It explains that two speech functions of code switching can be used in a single word. It also explains that the speech functions of code switching do not always indicate the lack of vocabulary. It is the evidence that code switching is the result of human’s creativity.

B. Implications The aims of this research are knowing the types and speech functions of using code switching performed by a main character of a novel. The types and speech functions are analyzed by using specific theories which have not been used before. In English teaching and learning, the implications of this research are: 1.

Code Switching in Classroom Using code switching in classroom activities may help the learners or the

students in acquiring the materials. Code switching also enables the teacher to lower the pressure of the students when they are discussing difficult materials. In a certain materials, code switching is considered as necessarily since it helps the students comprehend what are being explained by the teacher. Code switching can also be used as a medium to entertain the students. When the situation is very tense and the students seem to have high anxiety, the teacher may code switch to tell a joke. Sometimes, telling jokes is better in their language origin. If they are translated, sometimes the meaning will not be the same anymore. The sense will be different, or the jokes will not be funny anymore. It is the example of using Poetic Function of code switching.


In a classroom, when the topic of the discussion is code switching, it is also important to explain about the types, reasons, and speech functions of using code switching. It will enrich students’ knowledge. Moreover, there are various theories about the types, reasons, and speech functions of code switching. Therefore, the students can compare and contrast each theory and enlarge their understanding. 2.

Code Switching Outside the Classroom The implication of this research outside the classroom, for example is

assigning the students to observe a phenomenon of code switching found in everyday life. It can be done through observing spoken or written discourse. Spoken discourse can be found in a reality show, speeches, debates, and more. Written discourse can be in the form of articles, novels, transcripts of a movie, and many others. Asking the students to observe phenomenon of code switching can also make them really understand about code switching and the implication of it. Moreover, the students will be more aware of the reasons of using code switching. It can also make the learning activity becomes more entertaining.

C. Recomendations The researcher acknowledges that this research is not perfect. Therefore, there are some recommendations

proposed

by the

researcher.

These

recommendations are written for the future researchers in order to create a better research and also to students who learn English and Linguistics, especially code switching.


First for the future researchers, this research is a focused research about code switching which is used by a main character in a novel. There are some research about code switching, but those research are discussing about the code switching in the whole novel. The researcher hopes there will be more focused and in depth research about code switching in the future. Moreover, this research used specific theories which have not been used before. The researcher hopes that there will be more theories about code switching exposed in the future research. Therefore, there will be more variant theories and wider knowledge. Second, for the students who learn English and Linguistics, this research aims to give more knowledge. Studying English and Linguistic are not limited to the use of grammar. There are more phenomena about English and Linguistics, such as code switching, swearing words, language and gender, and many more. The reason of using code switching varies, not because of the lack of vocabulary only. Knowing the speech function and types of code switching are also important. Therefore, we will not easily judge someone who uses code switching as the result of having the lack of vocabulary.


REFERENCES

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APPENDICES


Appendix 1: The Findings of Code Switching Used by Keara Based on the Types and Speech Functions of Code Switching

P Pr T TS IntCS ItrCS RF

The Findings of Code Switching Used by Keara Based on the Types and Speech Functions of Code Switching : Place DF : Directive function : Participant(s) EF : Expressive function : Topic PF : Phatic function : Tag switching MF : Metalinguistic function : Inter-sentential code switching PoF : Poetic function : Intre-sentential code switching EP : Combination of Expressive and Phatic functions : Referential function Types of Code Switching

Context #

1

2

Pa ge

Dialogue/Monologue

13

Terkadang karena pekerjaan, mencari sesuatu, terpaksa, or sometimes it’s just for the sake of traveling itself.

13

Apa pun yang membawa kita bersusah-susah packing, mengantre check-in, terduduk bosan menunggu take off, dan

Code Switching

or sometimes it’s just for the sake of traveling itself  packing

P

Pr

T

Plane

Keara, monologue

The meaning of traveling for people

Plane

Keara, monologue


T S

Itr CS

Speech Functions of Code Switching

Int CS





R F

D F

E F

P F

M F





PoF

EP


menghabiskan berjam-jam di udara sampai akhirnya mendarat dengan tubuh pegal dan mata mengantuk.

3

4

5

13

14

14

Untuk beberapa orang, traveling is a part of their job description.

 check-in





 take off





traveling is a part of their job descripttion

Barack Obama yang menghabiskan hari-harinya sejak on the road Januari 2007 on the road berkampanye. Forrest Gump, yang tiba-tiba memutuskan untuk berlari keliling dunia selama 3 tahun, 2 bulan, 14 hari, dan 16 jam, menjadi terkenal karenanya dan bahkan sempat  T-shirt menginspirasi terciptanya T-shirt  bumper Smiley Face dan bumper sticker sticker bertuliskan Shit Happens (aku tahu ini cuma fiksi, tapi aku serasa menonton History Channel waktu melihat filmnya).

Plane

Keara, monologue


Plane

Keara, monologue




Plane

Keara, monologue













6

7

15

15

8

15

9

1516

Dia langsung melepas safety belt dan berdiri menurunkana barangbarang dari overhead luggage compartment, kedua matanya masih berkilat-kilat penuh semangat, seperti anak kecil yang ditawari cokelat mahal di malam Halloween.

Aku ikut melepas safety belt, menyambut uluran ransel kamrea National Geographic-ku darinya.

 safety belt Airport  overhead luggage compart ment

safety belt

Di tengah-tengah “Masa si, Ris?” dan “Wah, seru juga ya?” dan “Kok lo tahu semuanya sih?” sampai “Gila lo ya, masa sampe umbrella jumlah umbrella girls-nya aja elo girls hafal,” aku sebenarnya terperangkap dalam konflik yang bergejolak di dalam kepalaku. Seperti berada di dalam bubble dengan suara menggema yang  bubble berulang-ulang berteriak ke dalam telingaku:”What the hell were

Keara, monologue











Harris’ excitement

Airport

Keara, monologue

Following Harris to get out from the plane



Airport

Keara, monologue

Keara’s reaction to F1 facts told by Harris



Airport

Keara, monologue

Watching F1 race in Singapore








you thinking?!”

10

16

 What the hell were you thinking? !

Yours truly here, me, menghabiskan uang seharga satu sepeda motor–aku harus sekuat tanaga melawan hasrat mengantukkan kepala ke dinding setiap mengingat angka itu—untuk  Yours membeli tiket pesawat, dan truly terutama untuk membeli tiket F1 here, me agar dia bisa menonton dari jarak dekat dan merasakan langsung desingan mesin yang memekakan telinga serta bau ban menggesek aspal (his words, not mine), untuk kemudian mendengar dia



Airport

Keara, monologue

Keara’s reason to watch F1 race








membatalkan ikut perjalanan ini di detik terakhir.

 his words, not mine

11

12

16

16

Si penggila balap di depanku telah berjalan cepat menuju conveyor belt bagasi, energinya mengalahkan anak kecil yang kebanyakan makan gula, walaupun pundaknya menyandang ransel besar. Sementara aku memilih melangkah gontai, dikuasai rasa mengantuk dan lelah, memanggul ransel berisi kamera dan lensa–the only hobby that keeps me safe in my job now.

conveyor belt

the only hobby that keeps me safe in my job now



Airport

Keara, monologue

Harris’ excitement to watch F1 race

Airport

Keara, monologue

Keara’s hobby












13

14

16

17

15

18

16

18

Dia pernah meledekku saat aku menolak ikut dalam F1 trip ini karena tiketnya yang kubilang teramat sangat overpriced.

 trip Airport  overprice d

Harris: Gue kan pengin punya  Yeah, imej laki-laki baik calon right suami sempurna kayak Ruly. Keara: Yeah, right. Ini kata-kata yang keluar dari orang yang sama dengan yang tadi sepanjang perjalanan penerbangan kerjaannya menggambar stick figures  stick berbagai posisi figures kamasutra?

Mungkin perjalanan ini tidak sedreadful yang kubayangkan dengan adanya dia dan kelakuankelakuan gilanya di sini. Kami berempat direkrut BorderBank dalam one of those career acceleration bullshit

Keara, monologue



Keara had rejected to watch F1 race









Airport

Dialog ue, Keara and Harris



Harris’ repent



dreadful

Airport

Keara, monologue

one of those career acceleratio

Airport

Keara, monologue

Keara’s imagination about the trip How Keara met Harris, Ruly, and












called Management Associate.

17

18

n bullshit called

Judul yang keren, tapi sebenarnya artinya belajar mati-matian dan dilempar dari satu departemen ke departemen yang lain selama setahun, dilempar ke salah satu daerah antah berantah menjadi manusia serbabisa selama setahun (buka cabang, isi ATM – termasuk kadang-kadang harus ke mesin ATM di ujung kota karena sudah kosong, mendengarkan repetan  regional nasabah, lembur sampai jam dua manager pagi membuatkan presentasi untuk regional manager, menahan kedongkolan luar biasa saat si anak buah membuat kesalahan tolol tapi tidak mungkin dimarahi karena usianya sudah pantas jadi orangtua sendiri, sampai menahan keinginan luar biasa untuk tidak mejedutkan kepala berkali-kali ke dinding sambil teriak:”What did I do wrong to be stuck in this

Denise

Airport

Keara, monologue

How Keara met Harris, Ruly, and Denise






shitty place?!”)

 What did I do wrong to be stuck in this shitty place?!

18

19

Untung saja waktu itu, di suatu daerah antah berantah (sebaiknya aku tidak usah menyebut nama kotanya, ya, daripada setelah ini seluruh penduduk kota itu mengejarku dengan golok karena menyebutnya a shitty place), kami berempat di tempatkan bersama.

a shitty place



Airport

Keara, monologue

Keara’s working experience








19

19

20

19

Karena dulu, di zaman-zaman susah itu, satu-satunya hiburan adalah duduk nongkrong di ruang makan rumah kontrakan menikmati take away (nama kerennya nasi take away bungkus) dan mi instan sambil berbagi cerita-berita tolol yang terjadi dimkantor masing-masing paginya. Ya sebenarnya hidup kami di bank berskala internasional ini nggak susah-susah amat sampai harus makan mi instan tiap hari, tapi di saat satu-satunya cara untuk tidak menjedutkan kepala ke dinding adalah terbang ke Jakarta setiap weekend (yang harga tiket weekend pesawatnya sendiri paling murah satu juta pulang-pergi), jadi mending nggak usah nongkrong tiap hari di mal ecek-ecek kota itu deh daripada nggak bisa pulang ke Jakarta dan belanja sampai bengkrut.

Airport

Keara, monologue






Airport

Keara, monologue






Keara’s name tag fell





Coming late in the



21

20

Ruly: Name tag elo tadi jatuh. Keara: Thanks, ya.

Thanks

AsiaPacific Banking Institute

22

20

Keara: Telat, ya? Ruly : Iya nih. Hari pertama gue

Bad image

AsiaPacific

Dialogue, Keara and Ruly Dialogue,




padahal. Keara: Eh sama dong. Gue juga. Elo anak M.A. juga? Ruly : Iya. Elo juga? Keara: Bad image banget nggak sih hari pertama udah telat?

23

24

23

23

25

23

26

24

Banking Institute’s lift

Keara and Ruly

first day of work

 limited Untuk sebagian orang, momen itu edition terjadi ketika mereka akhirnya bisa memiliki sebuah limited edition Hermes handbag yang harganya selangit.  handbag

Hotel in Singapore

Ask Becky Bloomwood.

Ask

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The meaning of happi-ness for every person

barely make the ends meet by waitressing

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monologue

The meaning of happiness for every person



and the one

Hotel in

Keara,

Keara’s



Bagi actor-aktor muda yang mengadu nasib di New York dan barely make the ends meet by waitressing, momen paling bahagia yang akan selalu mereka kenang mungkin adalah ketika mereka pertama kali mendapatkan peran di sebuah film, sekecil apa pun itu. Aku tidak pernah bisa menjawab

Keara, monol ogue

The meaning of happi-ness for every person


















dengan pasti dan rinci kenapa aku bisa mencintai laki-laki seperti Ruly setiap sahabatku, Dinda – satu-satunya orang yang kuceritakan mengenai perasaanku terhadap Ruly, and the one who knows me all too well–bertanya.

27

28

29

30

who knows me all too well

Singapore

monol ogue

24

The bitch from university who somehow manage to marry a nice guy, dan sejak tujuh tahun yang lalu menjadi ibu seorang anak laki-laki.

The bitch from university who somehow manage to marry a nice guy

Canteen Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Introducing Dinda to the readers

25

“Serius,” aku mengangguk, memotong chicken wrap di hadapanku.

chicken wrap


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling toward Ruly



25

Dinda: Why are you so fixated on this guy? Keara: Nggak ngerti juga gue. Isn’t karena dia Ruly’ enough?

Isn’t … enough?





27

Does that “Gue mencintai dia sama seperti even make gue membenci kopi luak, Din. Does sense to that even make sense to you, I you, I don’t don’t know,” know


Dialogue, Keara and Dinda Dialogue, Keara and Dinda

feeling toward Ruly















31

27

“Elo tahu, kan, betapa bencinya gue sama kopi luak? Gue bisa minum kopi luak, gue juga nggak  is just like ada masalah sama aromanya, aroma yang buat semua pencinta kopi seperti elo misalnya, pasti dianggap menggairahkan. Bisa  They’re membuat elo betah menghirupnya really bergelas-gelas. Gue pernah delicious, mencoba kopi luak, Din. Biasa aja people rasanya, dan sebenarnya gue ga are lining suka. Buat gue, semua laki-laki up for bangsat yang pernah bersama gue them, but dulu is just like kopi luak. it’s still They’re really delicious, people coffee are lining up for them, but it’s that some still coffee that some monkey is monkey shitting. In the end, they’re all a is bunch of tiny expensive little shitting. shit. Ruly, on the other hand…  In the well, Ruly is Ruly. Gue tahu dari end, cerita gue, walaupun elo belum they’re pernah ketemu dia, elo pasti all a berpikir kenapa gue bisa sampai bunch of kecanduan sama laki-laki yang tiny seperti elo bilang ‘nggak gue expensiv banget’ ini. Laki-laki yang for e little once, nggak segaul Raul—God shit.




Dialogue, Keara and Dinda













that rymes ya, nggak sejago Enzo  Ruly, on rayuannya, nggak seperti semua the other yang pernah gue coba hand… sebelumnya. He doesn’t even well, drink or like clubbing, for the Ruly is love of God…” Ruly.

 for once









 God that rymes



 He doesn’t even drink or like clubbing, for the love of God








32

33

34

35

36

27

28

29

29

30

 Yeah, I Dinda: Crap. You’re in trouble, know. babe. Keara: Yeah, I know. So you see, gue memang ga bisa menjelaskan kenapa, Din.  So you Gue cuma yakin bahwa see, gue – sekuat-kuatnya gue berusaha mengingkari ini  Denial is – mencintai dia. Denial is not just a not just a river in Egypt. river in Egypt.


Aku mengangguk sambil memanggil waitress.

waitress


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

I’m done fucking men, darl. I want to marry this one.



Keara’s feeling

on an effing holiday

Bookstore in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

Deal

Bookstore in Singapore

Dialogue, Harris and Keara

Going to a nearby coffee shop

Dinda-the-MILF: “God, darl, if I were you, I would have fucked him already.” Aku hanya bisa membalas: “I’m done fucking men, darl. I want to marry this one.” Dan sekarang aku berdiri di sini, delapan belas bulan kemudian, on an effing holiday namun kepalaku tidak bisa cuti dari semua ini. Harris: Setuju, gue butuh kopi. Starbucks di sebelah? Keara: Deal. Gue ke kasir dulu, ya.


Keara’s feeling






























37

30

Harris: Babe… Keara: And don’t babe me

And don’t babe me

38

32

61 laps.

laps

39

32

23 turns.

turns

40

32

 The near daylight condition s of the The near daylight conditions of track the track yang dihasilkan 1.500  light light projectors, dipasang projector berjarak 350 yards di antaranya di s sepanjang sirkuit.

Bookstore in Singapore On the way to Marina Bay Circuit On the way to Marina Bay Circuit

Dialogue, Harris and Keara

Paying Harris’ books in chasier



Keara, monol ogue

Situation in Marina Bay Circuit





Keara, monol ogue






 On the way to Marina Bay Circuit

Keara, monol ogue


 yards

41

32

Empat kali lebih terang daripada American football sehingga para pembalap juga harus mengenakan sunglasses khusus.

Sunglasses

On the way to Marina Bay

Keara, monol ogue



















Circu-it

42

3234

Hanya saja F1 freak di sebelahku tidak bisa berhenti berceloteh sejak tadi kami meninggalkan Wheelock, menyusuri Orchard Road menuju MRT, sampai detik ini ketika kami sudah hampir memasuki kawasan Marina Bay Circuit.

freak

On the way to Marina Bay Circuit

Keara, monol ogue

Harris and his passion in watching F1 race

 on the other hand

43

44

34

34

Harris, on the other hand, menghafal mati rute menuju Circuit Park (a.k.a Marina Bay  shuttle Circuit) baik dengan taksi, MRT, bus atau shuttle bus yang terdekat dengan setiap posisi grandstand, hasil selama sebulan makan gaji  grandstan buta di kantor karena sebagian d besar waktunya dihabiskan dengan surfing official website F1 Singapore.  surfing official website Untuk manusia-manusia normal lain sperti aku yang memilih untuk bekerja dengan rajin dan tekun di kantor dan antikorupsi waktu

 daily pass


On the way to Marina Bay

Keara, monol ogue

Keara, monol ogue

Harris and his passion in watching F1 race

The practicality in Singapore public


























seperti si Harris (betapa bangganya bosku kalau mambaca ini ya), di sisi belakang daily pass  lanyard – berbentuk kartu plastic dengan lanyard yang kini tergantung manis di leharku dan Harris – juga telah dicantumkan gate terdekat  gate lengkap dengan peta mini sirkuit dan MRT exits.

Circuit

trans-portation

 exits

45

34

Harris dan Ruly sering sebal kalau mengajakku jalan kaki dari gedung kantor kami di kawasan SCBD ke Pacific Place untuk mkan siang –  “Look 15 menit jalan kaki di bawah terik what matahari dan asap knalpot Jakarta you’ve – dan aku merengek kepanasan, done to pegal, berpeluh bau matahari, dan my mencetus – “Look what you’ve expensiv done to my expensive stiletto!” e Ruly – being the calm guy that he stiletto!” is – biasanya Cuma senyumsenyum, sementara Harris balas mencetus, “IYAAA, NTAR PULANGNYA NAIK TAKSI!”

On the way to Marina Bay Ci*rcuit

Keara, monol ogue

Flash-back on the day they were walking from SCBD to Pacific Place. It compa-red the situation in Jakarta and Singa-pore.

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 being the calm guy that he is

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Hari ini, walaupun aku dan Harris sudah berjalan sekian kilometer – who’s counting? – belum ada katakata keluhan yang meluncur dari mulutku.

who’s counting?


Keara, monol ogue

The condition when they walk in Singapore. It compared the condi-tion in Singapore and Jakarta

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 I hate that about streets in Jakarta

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Tidak ada kemungkinan menginjak ludah – I hate that about streets in Jakarta – dan sepanjang jalan aku memang sibuk sendiri  candid menjepret-jepret kamera, candid shots shots kehidupan orang-orang yang kulihat sepanjang perjalanan, and of course “engineered’ candid  and of shots of Harris. course “engineer ed’ candid shots of Harris.  When I said ‘engineer ed’ When I said ‘engineered’, maksudnya sebenarnya Harris  candid berpose ala candid sok cool dan aku dipaksa memotretnya.  cool

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Keara, monol ogue

Keara, monol ogue

Comparing streets in Singapore and Jakarta.

Taking picture of Harris

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 T-shirt

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Tubuhnya yang tinggi tegap dibungkus T-shirt putih bergaris blue cross seperti bendera Finlandia dan tulisan Raikkonen, celana pendek khaki selutut, dan brown leather Puma sneakers tanpa kaus kaki.

Pandangan matanya yang tajam ditutupi sunglasses Tag Heuer – produk yang di-endorsed oleh Kimi juga, pembalap favoritnya.

 blue cross  khaki  brown leather Puma sneakers  sunglasse s

 endorsed

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Anywaaaaaaay… kenyamanan jalan kaki menuju sirkuit itu bebas  Anywaaa aaaay… dari sengatan terik matahari: perjalanan sejak turun dari MRT menuju exit cukup kami jalani di underpass (ballway bawah tanah)  exit yang menjadi basement mal di atasnya – I actually picked up a


Keara, monol ogue

Harris’ outfit

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Keara, monol ogue


Keara, monol ogue

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Harris’ outfit

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The way to Marina Bay Circuit 

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couple of tanktops on the way.  underpas s

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 ballway

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 basement

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 I actually picked up a couple of tanktops on the way.

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Suasana F1 semakin kental terasa saat hampir separuh orang-orang yang berkeliaran di MRT dan underpass ini telah mengalungkan daily pass di leher mereka.

 underpas s

 daily pass

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 Keara, monol ogue

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The situation near Marina Bay Circuit 

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 shopaholi c

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Memang kali ini Singapura  high-end dibanjirri bukan oleh shopaholic handbag beratribut high-end handbag di tangan kanan dan belasan shopping bag berlabel berbagai nama desainer di tangan kiri – walaupun masih banyak ibu-ibu bertampang Indonesia ber-jeung shopping jeung ria ngantre di depan Louis bag Vuitton di ION (hari gini ya, masih aja, nggak pernah dengar Bottega Venera ya, ibu-ibu? Sorry, LV addicts everywhere, I’m just not  Sorry, LV into handbags with other addicts person’s initials on them). everywhe re, I’m just not into handbags with other person’s

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Keara, monol ogue

The situation near Marina Bay Circuit

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initials on them

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Cukuplah ya membahas tante-tante penggemar LV ini, back to the die-hard F1 fans who are all looking sharp today.

Beberapa bahkan go the extra mile dengan mengenakan kaus tim yang didukung (I lost count on how many red Ferrari shirts I saw).

Aku sempat tersenyum saat melihat sekelompok bule bahkan mengenakan kilt.

back to the die-hard F1 fans who are all looking sharp today

 go the extra mile

 I lost count on how many red Ferrari shirts I saw kilt


Keara, monol ogue

The situation near Marina Bay Circuit

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 On the way to Marina Bay Circuit

Keara, monol ogue

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The situation near Marina Bay Circuit 

On the way to Marina

Keara, monol ogue

The situation near Marina Bay

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The charming laugh yang selalu mampu membuatku ikut tertawa.

The charming laugh

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Sampai suatu hari ketika Stellaluna bisa menunjukan sifat aslinya ke saudara-saudara angkatnya, dan mereka semua bertanya: “How can we be so different and feel so much alike?”

“How can we be so different and feel so much alike?”

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Aku sadar di saat kita sedang jatuh cinta, anything would remind us of everything.

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Di luar selera musiknya yang ajaib dan bikin ilfil itu – dia mungkin lebih semangat nonton Dahsyat daripada Java Jazz – did I also tell you about his aversion to drinking and clubbing?

anything would remind us of everything did I also tell you about his aversion to drinking and clubbing?

Bay Circu-it On the way to Marina Bay Circu-it

Circuit

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s opinion about Harris’ laugh

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

A book that remin-ded her with Ruly

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Rememberi ng Ruly

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Rememberi ng Ruly

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 clubbing

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Dia tidak suka minum, clubbing, art film, John Mayer, Jamie Cullum, tidak paham fotografi, tidak tahu David Foster Wallace itu siapa, bukan penikmat Twilite Orchestra, merasa BlackBerry itu merepotkan, hates shopping, belum pernah dengar yang namanya Annie Leibovitz dan Richard Avedon, dan menganggap masakan Jepang menjijikan.

 art film

 hates shopping

Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Ruly and his dislikes

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But somehow, my mind tricks me to have faith in th following scene: aku dan dia duduk di rumah kami nanti, aku membaca This Is Water-nya David Foster Wallace untuk yang kedua puluh kali, album Battle Studies John Mayer mengalun dari stereo di sudut ruangan, Ruly duduk di sebelahku membaca apa pun yang biasanya dia baca – aku tidak pernah melihat dia membaca apa pun selain The Economist—dan telinganya tersumbat headphone iPod, rak buku memenuhi satu sis dinding dan berpuluh bingka karya fotoku memenuhi dinding yang lain.

Karena jika aku harus mendengar lengkingannya Charlie ST12

 But somehow , my mind tricks me to have faith in th following scene

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Imagi-ning her future with Ruly

 headphon e

I’m gonna kill myself

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol

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Ruly’s favorite

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dengan “kamu, kamu, kamu”-nya atau vokalisnya Exist meneriakkan lagu Mencari Alasan itu satu kali lagi saja, I’m gonna kill myself.

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ogue

song

Car park

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s habbit when having problem or feeling tired

Car park

Keara, monol ogue

One night after Keara had an extra job

And there was Ruly

Car park

Keara, monol ogue

One night after Keara had an extra job

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Aku mengangkat mata dari viewfinder kameraku.

viewfinder

Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

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Believe me, you’ll learn later bahwa bukan hal itu yang membuatku seperti tersihir olehnya.

Believe me, you’ll learn later

Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

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Suatu malam tiga tahun yang lalu, ketika aku baru pulang dari RKK panjang yang menguras kapasitas otakku and all I needed to reload was to take mindless pictures. Hampir pukul sepuluh malam, aku terduduk di mobilku di gedung parkir kantor yang hampir kosong, keculai mobil Ruly yang masih terparkir di depanku – tidak usah heran, Ruly itu raging workaholic. And there was Ruly, tiba-tiba muncul di samping mobilku, memanggul tas olahraga, rambut dan wajahnya masih terlihat basah.

and all I needed to reload was to take mindless pictures

raging workaholic

One night after Keara had an extra job One night after Keara had an extra job

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Ruly: Dari kecil elo itu udah bandel, ya. Keara: Kok bandel sih? Itu namanya kreatif, tahu. Foto My very itu sampai sekarang masih first ada di rumah gue, Rul, photoghrap bokap gue nyuci dan gedein y segede-gedeya, dibingkai exhibition. dan dipajang di ruang keluarga. My very first photoghrapy exhibition. Setiap kami makan atau nongkrong rame-rame dengan Harris, Deninse, atau teman-teman yang lain, dia biasanya cuma jadi but that’s it pendengar yang pasif namu atentif, berkomentar seadanya, dan tetap ikut tertawa jika ada yang lucu, but that’s it. Dan untuk menutupi awkward silence yang salalu muncul jika aku sedang berdua saja dengannya – awkward silence yang biasanya  awkward dengan mudah kututupi dengan silence “cara ampuh” jika dengan lakilaki lain (you know what I mean)—aku berceloteh tentang

Kopi Tiam Oey

Dialogue, Keara and Rult

Keara’s first photo

Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Ruly’s characteristic

Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Meetig with Ruly

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apa pun sementara dia mengambil peran yang selalu dinikmatinya: mendengarkan.

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Malam itu aku dengan semangatnya bercerita tentang my number two passion in life: photography (him being the first).

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Keara: Lo tahu nggak, Rul, ada satu foto yang bikin gue bengong lama banget di depannya. Fotonya hitamputih, gue sampai hafal nama fotografernya: Zsolt Szigetvary. Hungarian. Foto seorang laki-laki, wajahnya ketakutan, absolutely ghastly, terduduk di pinggir jalan memeluk seorang laki-laki, bloody bullet hole on his forehead. Abis ditembak, Rul. Kata caption-nya, foto

 you know what I mean

my number two passion in life: photograph y (him being the first)

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, monol ogue

Meeting with Ruly

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 Hungaria n

 absolutel y ghastly  bloody bullet hole on his forehead

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Kopi Tiam Oey

Keara, dialogue with Ruly

A photography Keara once saw.

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itu diambil saat guy parade di Budapest tahun 2007, dan pasangan itu jadi salah  caption satu korban anti-guy violence yang pecah waktu itu.

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 guy parade

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 anti-guy violence

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Keara: Buat gue, foto itu magis, Rul. Dia nggak perlu bicara, nggak perlu  just a bermusik, nggak perlu piece of bergerak, bahkan nggak silent perlu berwarna, just a photogra ph, but it piece of silent speaks to photograph, but it speaks to me. Kayak elo tiba-tiba me ditarik sama lubang hitam, masuk ke peristiwa itu,

Kopi Tiam Oey


Keara’s passion on photography

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berada di tengah-tangah mereka, dan ikut merasakan ketakutan mereka. I just love how a simple picture could tell a long complicated story. Waktu itu gue langsung mikir: fuck new shoes, I’m getting a camera instead.

 I just love how a simple picture could tell a long complicat ed story

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 fuck new shoes, I’m getting a camera instead

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 So you see, if you ask me if I’m happy with my job right now, Keara: So you see, if you ask me well… if I’m happy with my job This is right now, well… This is just just something I do in somethin between weekdays, Rul. g I do in Ini cuma sesuatu yang between harus gue lakukan. To weekdays afford these shoes, this camera, this handbag, this watch. Kalau boleh milih, gue cuma ingin  To afford jalan-jalan keliling these Indonesia, keliling dunia, shoes, and do nothing but take this pictures. camera, this handbag, this watch

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Kopi Tiam Oey


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Keara’s percep-tion toward her job


 and do nothing but take pictures

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Jauh sebelum John Mayer belajar memetik gitar – I read somewhere that he learned it at the tinder age of thirteen—aku dibesarkan dengan musik klasik.

I read somewhere that he learned it at the tinder age of thirteen

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Jadi setiap dia pulang kerja, seringnya pukul delapan atau Sembilan malam, father and daughter bonding ritual yang selalu kunantikan adalah naik ke pangkuannya dan meniru gayanya menutup mata mendengarkan alunan orchestra itu.

father and daughter bonding ritual

Chinese Garden

Chinese Garden

Keara, monol ogue

Keara grew with classic music

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s ritual with her father once she was kid

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 shopping

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BFF (ABG banget istilahnya ya), shopping, homecomings, prom, dan boys.

 homecom ings Chinese Garden  prom

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s passion when she was on senior high school

 boys

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Biarpun begitu, aku masih ingat dengan jelas satu malam di ulang tahunku yang ke delapan belas, my dear old man, menghadiahiku album Sogno-nya Andrea Bocelli.

 cool

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Mungkin itu caranya mengingatkan bahwa walaupun udah nggak cool bagi remaja seumurku untuk hangout dengan ayahnya, dia akan selalu ada di sini buatku. Dan pagi ini di bawah teriknya matahari Singapura, di tengahtengah Chinese Garden, I’m

I’m taking them both

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my dear old man

Chinese Garden

Keara, monol ogue

Chinese Garden

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s 18th birthday present

Keara, monol ogue

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Keara’s father

 hangout

Chinese Garden

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Music and photograph y

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taking them both. Ruly: Nggak pa-pa, Key. Gue nggak mau ngerepotin. Keara: Ruly, masa sama gue aja ngomongnya ngerepotin. I’m worried here.

I’m worried here.

Chinese Garden

Keara, monol ogue

Ruly was sick.

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Aku sadar bahwa mungkin bagi kamu, she’s always the angel and I’m always the bitch.

she’s always the angel and I’m always the bitch

Chinese Garden

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s compa-ring herself with Denise

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Bonsai Garden

Dialogue, Keara and Harris

Harris’s asking Keara’s condi-tion.

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Bonsai Garden


Keara’s going to buy new earplug.

Bonsai

Dialo-

Keara’s

Harris : Elo nggak pa-pa kan, Key? Keara : I’m okay, Ris. Nggak I’m okay usah sok khawatir banget gitu deh, nggak cocok tahu? Harris : Abis lo diem terus dari tadi, takut gue. Bukan karena kita terpaksa sekamar dan gue ngoroknya kenceng, kan? Keara : Ngorok lo emang kenceng, Risjad, ingetin earplug gue beli earplug sebelum kita pulang nanti, ya. Harris : Ngapain pake earplug? Dengan iPod lo itu aja elo usah sukses ngacangin gue seharian. Harris : Puoi solo dire, che piu ti Don’t tell

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fa soffrire, piu ancora l’amerai. Keara : Heh? Barusan itu apa? Don’t tell me you speak Italian too? Harris : Gini-gini gue dulu zaman SMA pernah pertukaran pelajar ke Italia, ya.

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Rasanya seperti tamparan saat aku sadar bahwa dengan Ruly, the more he makes me suffer, the more I find I love him.

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Menurutku itu film terbaik yang pernah dibintangi Jennifer Lopez, dan Vincent D’Onofrio luar biasa menakutkan sebagai serial killer psikopat – mungkin figure kedua yang paling menghantui kepalaku setelah Hannibal Lecter mengucapkan, “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a noce Chianti.”

me you speak Italian too?

the more he makes me suffer, the more I find I love him

 serial killer

Garden

Bonsai Garden

gue, Keara and Harris

favorite song

Keara monol ogue


Keara, monol ogue

Jennifer Lopez’s best movie according to Keara

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 “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a noce Chianti.”

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Anjrit, adegan itu membuatku paranoid setiap kali naik subway zaman-zaman kuliah dulu dan ada bapak-bapak tua misterius yang gayanya mirip Hannibal di gerbong yang sama. Gila ya, aku niat jauh-jauh kuliah ke sana supaya bisa menakutnakuti recruiter dan headhunter dengan ijazah ini, bukan supaya jadi hidangan makan malam

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subway

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The effect of The Cell movie

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 recruiter

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The effect of The Cell movie

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kanibal yang beraksi mencari mangsa di bawah kota New York.

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Anyway, inti cerita film itu adalah teknologi yang memungkinkan orang untuk memasuki alam bawah sadar orang lain. Lopez memerankan soerang child psychologist yang ditugaskan memasuki alam bawah sadar D’Onofrio yang sedang koma untuk menganalisis isi kepalanya. Nggak pentinglah membahas apakah teknologi itu logically possible atau nggaak, ya. Tapi buatku, yang paling dahsyat dari film itu adalah cara Tarsem Singh memvisualisasi isi twisted mind si pembunuh. Supaya ada seorang psikolog atau psikiatris (I could never tell the difference between the two) yang bisa masuk ke alam bawah sadarku dengan penghapus raksasa dan menghapus bersih setiap jejak Ruly di kepala ini. Jenis pembersih yang digunakan CSI people (atau the cleaner?

 headhunt er

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Anyway

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The Cell movie

child psychologis t

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The Cell movie

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logically possible

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The Cell movie

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twisted mind

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

The Cell movie

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I could never tell the difference between the two

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s imagination

 people

Hotel in Singapore

Keara, monol


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Terserahlah) untuk membersihkan crime scene.

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Harris masih setia mengekor aku, membawa belasan shopping bag hasil menjelajah Orchard Road sepagian ini.

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Aku meraih satu tas Birdie berwarna coklat dari display.

 the cleaner  crime scene

ogue

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Keara: Ris, sori ya. Harris: Buat apa? Keara: Karena udah menyiksa elo

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shopping bag

Orchard Road

Keara, monol ogue

Shop-ping

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display

ION Orchard

Keara, monol ogue

Birdie bag

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 display Aku memilih mengabaikannya. Kembali menghadap rak display puluhan handbag itu. “We’re in Singapore, Ris. This is heaven for shoppers. Berisik deh lo itu, suka-suka gue dong mau belanja apa, duit duit gue.”

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 handbag

ION Orchard

 We’re in Singapor e, Ris. This is heaven for shoppers porter

Keara, dialogue with Harris

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Starbucks Wheelock

Dialogue, Keara

Keara’s apologize to Harris

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seharian jadi porter barang-barang belanjaan gue.

10 1

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A dozen swipes later, kembali terdampar di Starbucks Wheelock Place, Harris terduduk dikelilingi belasan shopping bag-ku.

Place

 A dozen swipes later  shopping bag

Starbucks Wheelock Place

Starbucks Wheelock Place Starbucks Wheelock Place

and Harris


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Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s prefe-rence in making friends

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s opinion about girls

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You see, sejak masih sekolah dulu aku memang lebih suka berteman dengan sahabat laki-laki.

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Menusuk dari belakang, sibuk berclique dan saling gencet, menyebar gosip ke mana-mana.

clique

Just two cool bitches strutting their stuff, hahaha.

Just two cool bitches strutting their stuff


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s opinion about her friend-ship with Dinda

partner in crime


Keara, monol ogue

Harris, Keara’s partner in crime

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Star-

Keara,

Keara’s

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Nggak ada yang lebih kusyukuri sejak bekerja di bank ini daripada adanya manusia seperti Harris yang setia jadi partner in crimeku dalam situasi apa pun. Mulai dari cabut-cabut tolol dari

You see

meeting

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Keara’s apologize to Harris 

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kantor di saat aku cuma perlu ditemani ngopi sejam-dua jam di Pacific Place, melarikan diri dari sekian banyak meeting membosankan. Laki-laki paling murahan sedunia itu bahkan tidak bertanya ke mana atau mau ngapain, most of the time. Tengah malam, aku tidak bisa tidur dan aku cuma perlu teman untuk menikmati segelas wine pengantar ngantuk, tinggal dial his number, and he’s there.

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I’d be in a club or in a restaurant, dengan laki-laki entah siapalah yang mengajakku kencan malam itu.

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 my date Setiap aku merasa mengantuk, of the bosan, nggak tahan, muak, atau night malah ingin menggampar my date of the night, aku biasanya permisi ke toilet dan men-speed dial  speed dial Harris.

67

67

bucks Wheelock Place

monol ogue

most of the time


Keara, monol ogue

dial his number, and he’s there.


Keara, monol ogue

I’d be in a club or in a restaurant


Keara, monol ogue

activities with Harris

Keara’s opinion about Harris Keara’s routine when she couldn’t sleep



Keara and Harris’ 10 minutes act











 Starbucks Wheelock Place



 


11 1

11 2

11 3

11 4

67

68

68

68

On most nights, aku cuma perlu menahan-nahankan diri paling lama sejam sebelum akhirnya Harris muncul di club atau di restoran itu dan memainkan sandiwara sepuluh menit kami. Ini bentakan Harris saat aku berusaha menghindar dari seorang anak pejabat yang kelakuannyaarogan dan sok kaya bikin aku mau muntah sepanjang date kami. Adegan ini, tentu aja, hanya bisa dipakai kalau sedang berada di club yang bising, dan teriakan itu cukup terdengar oleh kami sehingga aku juga tidak jadi tontonan massa. Kalau aku dan si laki-laki malang yang ingin kucampakkan itu sedang di restoran atau wine bar yang agak berkelas, katakanlah Social House atau Decanter, Harris biasanya menghampiri meja kami, terseyum, kemudian berbisik dengan suara yang masih bisa didengarkan si laki-laki

 On most nights

 Starbucks Wheelock Place

Keara, monol ogue

date


Keara, monol ogue

club


wine bar


 club



Keara and Harris’ 10 minutes act 








Keara, monol ogue






Keara, monol ogue







korbanku itu. 11 5

11 6

11 7

68

68

70

11 8

71

11 9

71

Perjalanan ini sucks.

Keara: You know what, Risjad, kalau lagi nggak berusaha tebar pesona setengah mati, elo itu adorable juga, ya.

Dan Ruly pernah bilang… oh great, see, Rul? Terkadang aku merasa memang benar-benar dianugerahi photographic memory karena bisa mengingat detik demi detik kejadian subuh itu sampai sekarang. Anugerah yang seharusnya bisa kupakai untuk melalui sekolah kedokteran segampang membalikkan telapak tangan, pardon my arrogance.


Keara, monol ogue



Keara, dialogue

Keara’s opinion about Harris

oh great, see

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

photograph ic memory

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

pardon my arrogance

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

sucks  You know what  adorable

Keara’s need to erase Ruly from her mind Keara’s remembering what happe-ned on that dawn Keara’s strength


























12 0

12 1

12 2

12 3

12 4

72

72

 Satu malam wine-wine solution kami yang got too far karena aku berusaha menghapus kebodohanku berhubungan kembali dengan  Enzo. Yang kuingat jelas sampai detik ini adalah ketika aku terbangun di tempat tidurku jam lima pagi, terhuyung dengan kepala dan telinga mendengung seolah-olah ada lima puluh construction worker sedang mengebor bersamaan, adalah Ruly.

winewine solution Zirca got too far

constructio n worker

Keara, monol ogue







wine-wine solution

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

The dawn after Keara got drunk





Dialogue, Keara and Ruly

Ruly offered a coffee for Keara





Ruly: Kopi, Key? Keara: Thanks, ya.

Thanks

Zirca/Kea ra’s apartment

73

Tentang musisi favoritnya (yeah, if you can call that musician).

yeah, if you can call that musician


Keara, monol ogue

73

Tentang re-make The Omen yang sama sekali nggak ada seramseramnya dibandingkan yang asli yang membuatku tidak tidur dua

re-make


Keara, monol ogue

72



What Keara and Ruly talked about at that time What Keara and Ruly talked about at










12 5

12 6

74

79

hari. Orang-orang zaman colonial dulu punya kepercayaan bahwa minumab beralkohol adalah aqua vitae. Keara: Eh, selera music gue itu versatile ya, nggak kayak elo yang kuat denger Coltrane tapi langsung dengan arogannya menghina orang yang mendengarkan selain jazz. Harris: Yeah, versatile my ass. Kalau gitu juga janganjangan elo hafal satu albumnya Ridho Roma. Keara: Itu bukan versatile namanya, Nyet. Berisik lo ah, let’s go! Gue mau ganti baju dulu, ogah banget clubbing pake beginian.

that time aqua vitae

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

Alcohol

 versatile

Zirca

 let’s go










Keara and Harris’ music style








 clubbing

12 7

12 8

12 9

13 0

80

Oh, shiiit, Cosmopolitan-nya nendang gila.

shiiit

80

Keara: Martini, ya? Quit the James Bond act and dance with me. Kalau mau duduk doing, sana di apartemen sambil dengerin dangdut. Turun ah, Ris!

Quit the James Bond act and dance with me

81

Antre bersama ribuan orang lain, satu menit nyanyi di depan judges yang sama sekali nggak punya courtesy untuk nggak menertawakan kalau suara elo pas-pasan.

81

Recording contracts – semua laki-laki dalam hidupku – yang kuabaikan.

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s drink



Zirca


Keara asked Harris to dance



Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

 judges

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

















American Idol

 courtesy

Recording contracts



Keara’s compa-ring herself with


American Idol’s contes-tant

13 1

8283

Jiddhu Krishnamurti pernah bilang: “When you love, there is neither the ‘you’ nor the ‘me’. In that state there is only flame without smoke.”

13 2

86

Di lantai parquet kamar tidurku yang terlalu hangat ini.

13 3

13 4

13 5

93

93

94

Aku menyambut Caleb yang berlari ke pelukanku begitu aku turun dari mobil di driveway rumah Dinda. Dinda: Excited banget anak gue nyambut elo, ya. Keara: I have been known to have that effect on men, bahkan yang seumur ini. Pagi ini, hari Sabtu begini, aku terpaksa bangun jam tujuh – hina banget Sabtu pagi bangun jam segini sebenarnya – demi menepati janji membantu Dinda unpacking.

When you love, there is neither the ‘you’ nor the ‘me’. In that state there is only flame without smoke parquet

Zirca

Keara, monol ogue

A quote that reminded Keara

Keara’s apartment

Keara, monol ogue

Coming back to the apartment



Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Visiting Dinda’s house



I have been known to have that effect on men

Dinda’s house


Visiting Dinda’s house

unpacking

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Helping Dinda unpack-ing

driveway


















13 6

13 7

13 8

94

94

94

13 9

95

14 0

95

Sofa, coffee table, TV, segala macam sudah lengkap walau masih banyak card board boxes bertebaran di mana-mana.

Aku mengeluarkan satu boks mobil-mobilan Tomica dari handbag dan menyodorkannya ke Caleb. Keara: Eh, Nyet, buset segini nih yang mau kita unpack? Laki lo kan tajir, kenapa nggak bayar orang aja sih buat ngerjain beginian? Keara: Eh, ini organize tasnya berdasarkan apa nih? Warna? Harga? Mana yang nyolong, mana yang hasil ngemis laki lo, dan mana yang beli sendiri? Sahabatku sejak kuliah yang terkenal player-nya itu, yang selalu merasa nista banget kalau harus menginjakkan kaki ke perpustakaan, justru pertama kali bertemu Panca di perpustakaan universitas kami dulu.

 coffee table  card board boxes

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue










Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue






Dinda’s house







organize

Dinda’s house


Organizing Dinda’s hand-bags





player

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Dinda

handbag

unpack


14 1

14 2

9596

Aku lupa waktu itu si monyet ini harus ke perpustakaan karena apa, disuruh sama profesornya nyari buku apa gitu, tapi being the library virgin that she was dan satu dari sedikit orang bertampang Indonesia yang berkeliaran di NYU, kelihatan banget dong celingak-celinguk nggak jelas di situ, sampai Panca muncul dan membantu dia.

96

Hit jackpot banget deh si Dinda itu waktu dinikahi Panca.

being the library virgin that she was

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Dinda



Hit jackpot

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Dinda









14 3

14 4

96

96

Keara: Kenapa sih lo nggak berhenti kerja aja? Ngapain juga, Nyet, jadi corporate slave gini sementara laki lo sanggup ngasih lo uang belanja berkali-kali lipat gaji lo? Mending elo buka restoran kek, apalah, arisan socialite.

 corporate slave

Ya terserahlah, aku cuma… Okay, this is going to sound weird.

Okay, this is going to



Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Dinda

 

 socialite

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol

Keara’s preferance






sound weird 14 5

14 6

ogue

in drinking

Keara, monol ogue

What happen-ed in Singapore



What happen-ed in Singapore



97

Mau diceritain lagi di sini, dengan soundtrack suara hujan ini?

soundtrack

Dinda’s house

97

Mau bahas lagi tentang bagaimana Harris—the womanizing asshole Harris— berani-beraninya mendatangi apartemenku berkali-kali setelah aku mengabaikan semua cara lain yang dia tempuh untuk menghubungiku.

the womanizin g asshole

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

food court

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

closure

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

The place where Keara usually met Harris Keara’s problem with Harris

Dinda’s house/ car park

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s problem with Harris

14 7

97

14 8

98

14 9

98

Food court-nya Electronic City.

Tapi aku tahu kami butuh closure, supaya dia berhenti dengan semua usahanya itu. Jadi setelah aku membiarkan dia bicara, menggunakan berbagai kata-kata gombal yang pasti biasa dia jual kepada perempuanperempuannya yang lain itu “tapi elo dan gue sama-sama mabuk, Key” atau “tapi gue sayang elo, Key” atau “gue nggak mungkin menyakiti elo” atau “kalo elo

please say something


















hamil hamil gue juga siap jadi bapaknya” dan serentetan kalimatkalimat surge yang membuatku ingin muntah, dan dia menatapku dengan pandangan “please say something” aku akhirnya membuka mulut.

15 0

15 1

15 2

15 3

98

Sejak itu dia pernah sekali-dua kali mencoba menghubungiku, yang selalu kuabaikan, but I think he finally got the message and stopped calling.

but I think he finally got the message and stopped calling

98

Tapi setelah selusin test pack dan tanda-tanda biologis lain yang tidak perlu kuceritakan di sini, aku bisa memastikan aku memang tidak perlu ada hubungan apa-apa lagi dengan si keparat itu.

test pack

99

Keara: Ya, ya, ketawa aja terus, gue pulang nih biar elo unpacking sampai mampus sendirian.

100

Menenggelamkan diri di kantor, to my boss’ surprise.

Dinda’s house/ car park

Keara, monol ogue


Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue




unpacking

Dinda’s house





to my boss’ surprise.

Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s escape from her problem














 Actually contributi ng my valuable 15 4

100

Actually contributing my valuable – valuable nggak ya – opinions in every meeting.

 valuable

 Dinda’s house

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s escape from her problem

 opinions in every meeting

15 5

15 6

100

101







Tapi aku juga tidak suka meninggalkan kantor begitu jam 3-  dial in-1 lewat, duduk di mobil di parkiran sendirian dan jariku otomatis ingin men-dial nomor Harris seperti biasanya dulu selalu kulakukan setiap malam, saying something like, “Risjad, lo nggak lagi sama anggota harem lo kan? Temenin gue makan yuk, gue udah  saying somethin ngacir dari kantor nih. Cepetan, g like ya.”

Dinda’s house

I’ve got too much shit

Dinda’s house

Keara: Karena gue nggak tahu kenapa, Din, tapi gue lagi







Keara, monol ogue



Keara’s habbit back then



Dialogue,

Keara’s feeling








males aja mikirin si Ruly. I’ve got too much shit going on in my life since the whole Singpore thing. Nggak cukup ruang di kepala gue untuk memikirkan kenapa di kepala si Ruly hanya ada Denise sementara ada orang seperti gue di depan matanya. Gue males aja. Lagi capek gue mikirin laki-laki saat ini. Mending gue mikirin gimana caranya supaya gue nggak tergoda sama Riesling di tangan lo itu.

15 7

15 8

102

Keara: I’m sorry, lo kan tahu kelemahan gue.

103

Keara: Ji, sekali-kali kita coba harmless flirting-nya tanpa alcohol meracuni kepala kita berdua, boleh? Panji: Harmless? Siapa bilang malam ini mau tetap harmless?

going on in my life since the whole Singpore thing

I’m sorry

harmless flirting

Keara and Dinda

Dinda’s house


Keara’s first meeting with Dinda’s brother-inlaw

Keara’s apartment

Dialogue, Keara and Panji

Keara and Panji’s harm-less flirting routine






















 breakfast dates





 wine bar



 flirting

15 9

16 0

104

104

Permainan flirting-flirting tolol ini di antara aku dan dia yang telah kami mainkan berkali-kali, mulai dari telepon-telepon nggak penting, BBM, sampai dinner dates – dan lunch dates dan breakfast dates.

Mulai dari berburu siomay paling enak di Jakarta, menyembangi setiap wine bar di kota ini— Portico, Bibliotheque, Vin+, Cork and Screw, Decanter, you name it—atau di Bandung sekalian (sekalian iseng makan batogor, maksudnya), jogging bareng, grocery shopping (ya benar sekali, saudara-saudara, kapan lagi aku bisa punya porter gratis untung mendorong-dorong shopping cart dan mengangkut belanjaannya ke mobil, coba), atau sekadar nonton.

 dinner dates  lunch dates

Keara’s apartment

Keara, monol ogue

 you name it Keara’s apartment  jogging

 grocery shopping

Keara, monol ogue


















 shopping cart 16 1

104

16 2

104

16 3

105

Mengapa semua yang aku dan dia lakukan pantas disebut flirting tolol? Seperti saat dia berlagak ingin membesikkan sesuatu namun justru curi-curi mencium telingaku, as obvious as my reaction to it: tersenyum menggeleng-gelengkan kepala dan berujar, “Nakal lo, ya”. But hey, semuanya untuk permainan yang sedang kami mainkan ini, kan?

Keara’s apartment

Keara, monol ogue

as obvious as my reaction to it

Keara’s apartment

Keara, monol ogue


But hey

Keara’s apartment

Keara, monol ogue

Keara and Panji’s game

 flirting



















16 4

112

Kami sedang lunch bareng di Y&Y Pacific Place, acara rutin kami setiap Jumat siang ketika lunch break bisa dimolor-molorin sampai dua jam.



 lunch

 lunch break

Y&Y Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Lunch date with Dinda

 


 Out of nowhere

16 5

16 6

112 113

113

16 7

113

16

113

Out of nowhere, setelah sekian lama tidak mendengar apa-apa dari dia apalagi melihat mukanya, dia BBM tentang bubur ayam yang  our little dulu selalu dia belikan buatku, our breakfast little breakfast ritual dia mobilku ritual setiap pagi sebelum masuk kantor yang sudah tidak pernah kami lakukan sejak kembali dari that  that fucking Singapore trip. fucking Singapor e trip Waktu aku menerima BBM Harris itu, aku baru saja memarkir mobil di gedung parkir kantor, in dire need of healthy as comfort food untuk membunuh migraine akibat kurang tidur tadi malam. Dinda: Ngantuk kenapa sih? Katanya tadi nggak lembur. Keara: Emang. Ogah banget lembur sampe jam satu, my company doesn’t pay me enough ya. Dinda: Eh, gue nggak bego, ya.

Y&Y Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s routine back then













in dire need of healthy as comfort food

Y&Y Pacific Place/ car park

Keara, monol ogue

Harris’ message



my company doesn’t pay me enough

Y&Y Pacific Place


Why Keara looked so sleepy





Wipe that

Y&Y

Dialo-

Why Keara








8

16 9

114

17 0

114

17 1

114

Soho itu paling cuma buka sampai jam sebelas. Ngapain lo sampai jam satu? Keara: Wipe that smirk off your face, ya.

smirk off your face

Keara: Gue pikir-pikir elo itu pervert juga, ya, Din. Penasaran sama sex life adik ipar lo sendiri. Dinda: Whoa, so there’s some sex involved?

 pervert

Dinda: Hampir dua bulan elo sama yang namanya Panji Wardhana dan cuma begitu doang? Keara: Ya udah, kalau elo nggak percaya, lain kali gue jalan sama dia, gue kabarin lo, lo hire private detective deh sana buat ngikutin kami dari awal sampai akhir ya. Dinda: So he did try stuff with you? Keara: Ya iyalah. I’m just

Pacific Place

gue, Keara and Dinda

looked so sleepy




Keara’s dating with Panji

hire private detective

Y&Y Pacific Place



I’m just ‘assholing’ him back.

Y&Y Pacific Place

Dialogue, Keara


Y&Y Pacific Place  sex life
















‘assholing’ him back.

17 2

17 3

17 4

17 5

115

115

115

116

Dinda: What game? Keara: Kayak main tenis aja, Din. Rally panjang Wimbledon. Bedanya yang kami lempar bolakbalik bukan bola, tapi flirting. Udah, gitu doing. No string attached. No rules. Seru, lagi. No feeling involved. Purely a game.

Sejujurnya, do I know what I’m doing here?

Segampang memencet tombol continue di PlayStation saat ingin lanjut ke stage berikutnya. Dengan Panji, I know I’m wanted.

and Dinda  Rally



 flirting



 No string attached  No rules

Y&Y Pacific Place









 No feeling involved



 Purely a game



do I know what I’m doing here  continue  stage I know I’m wanted

Y&Y Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

  





 Y&Y Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

Y&Y Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling





 




17 6

117

But I could care less, karena begitu aku berdiri dikelilingi dinding-dinding penuh buku itu, I’m in my own bubble.

 But I could care less  I’m in my own bubble

117

Ketika kita kecil, every single thing fascinates us, somehow.

every single thing fascinates us, somehow

17 8

118

Mulai dari lilin, air, serangga, tali, serbet, awan, hujan, batu, sepatu, sedotan, I could go on and on.

I could go on and on

17 9

118

Semua benda-benda random yang ada di sekeliling kita.

random

18 0

118

Funny that now we’re older, semuanya baru menarik kalau telah dinamai.

Funny that now we’re older

118

Scented candle bernama Altru atau Volupa, air bernama Evian, batu bernama Tiffany, dan sepatu yang bisa dikenali dari first

 Scented candle

17 7

18 1

Aksara Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue









Keara’s feeling


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling






Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling





Aksara Pacific Place Aksara Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling



Keara’s feeling

 








name-nya saja seperti Jimmy, Monolo, Christian, Narcisso, dan Tory.

18 2

18 3

118

Karena itu, my choice of therapy, ketika apa pun yang menggantung di kepala ini tidak dapat diselesaikan dengan nama-nama yang menguras isi dompet, adalah datang ke sini.

118

Menghabiskan setengah jam di children book section ini, Bocelli atau Griggolo mengalun di telingaku yang tersumbat earphone iPod, membolak-balik halama Oh The Places You’ll Gonya Dr. Seuss atau The Missing Piece Meets The Big O-nya Shel Silverstein yang masing-masing mungkin telah kubaca puluhan kali.

 first name

my choice of therapy




Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

 children book section







Aksara Pacific Place  earphone



Keara, monol ogue



Keara’s way to out from her problem 




 But you see 18 4

18 5

118

118

18 6

118 119

18 7

119

But you see, terkadang dalam hidup, we got things being thrown to our faces.

Bahkan kata-kata sederhana Dr. Seuss yang biasanya mampu menamparku – “You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose” – tidak cukup kuat untuk menghilangkan signifikansi peristiwa tadi pagi Iya, memang segitu tidak dewasanya yours truly ini, sehingga filsuf yang kujadikan landasan berpikir bukannya Socrates atau Plato atau siapalah yang sekelas itu, melainkan Dr. Seuss. Saat bicara tentang memutuskan sesuatu, Dr. Seuss bilang:

 we got things being thrown to our faces You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose

 Aksara Pacific Place

Keara, monol ogue

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Keara’s feeling 


Keara, monol ogue

yours truly


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s feeling

“You’re on your

Aksara Pacific

Keara, monol

Keara’s feeling

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“You’re on your own.And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

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Menikmati rutinitas hidupku yang carefree selama enam bulan terakhir.

119

Bangun pagi, sarapan, mandi, berpakaian, ke kantor, menjalani rapat demi rapat diselingi tawatawa lucu antara aku dan temanteman kantorku, pulang, menelepon Panji jika perlu hiburan, atau siap-siap menerima kejutan manis—obvious but still sweet—setiap beberapa hari sekali dari make-out-buddy-ku itu.

own.And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” carefree

Place

ogue


Keara, monol ogue

Keara’s new routine

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 obvious but still sweet

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Aksara Pacific Place  makeoutbuddy

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Keara, monol ogue

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Keara’s new routine

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Aku cuma bisa menelan ludah saat  managing managing director-ku director mengatakan kami dikumpulkan di ditu untuk bekerja bareng full time dalam satu tim selama enam bulan penuh untuk mengerjakan proyek penyusunan corporate plan entah apalah—aku juga tidak peduli—bersama-sama tim konsultan yang kemudian memasuki ruangan dan berbicara Bahasa Inggris dengan logat kental Prancis yang membuatku  full time ingin mengebor lubang telingaku.

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Aksara Pacific Place/ Keara’s office

Keara, monol ogue

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What happe-ned this morning

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 corporate plan

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Ruly: Pantesan gu panggilpanggil nggak nyahut, ternyata lagi disumbat iPod, ya. Keara: Bad habit, I know. Ngapain, Rul? Ruly: Baca-baca di buku anakanak? Nggak lo banget kayanya. Keara: You don’t know me that well deh kalo gitu kayaknya. Aku tertawa mengingat satu kejadian dulu saat kami masih bertugas di daerah, aku dan Ruly menunggu pesawat yang sama untuk kembali ke daerah setelah weekend escape di Jakarta, dan di Periplus Terminal 2F aku

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Bad habit, I know



Ruly met Keara

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You don’t know me that well



Ruly met Keara

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weekend escape

Aksara Pacific Place/ Periplus Terminal 2F

Monol ogue, Keara

One day when Keara met Ruly in Peri-plus Termi-nal 2F

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menemukan Confessions of Shopaholic-nya Shopie Kinsella. Aksara Pacific Place

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Craaap, cukup!

Craaap

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This guy, yang saat ini sedang memelukku dan mencium bibirku ini.

This guy

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Seperti dua jam yang lalu, saat dia  dinner mengajakku dinner sepulang kerja, yang kutolak karena sudah terlanjur makan takeout Bakmi GM jatah lembur di kantor.  takeout

Keara’s apartment

Tapi yang lebih penting lagi, we talk about us.

we talk about us

Keara’s apartment

You see

Keara’s apartment

But still

Keara’s apartment

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You see, aku tahu itu pertanyaan wajib yang ditanyakan semua lakilaki untuk menunjukkan perhatian. But still, detik-detik yang sedang aku dan dia nikmati saat ini serasa bukan sekedar bagian dari scenario permainan yang telah kami mainkan sejak lima bulan yang lalu.

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara

Rememberi ng Ruly Panji

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Keara’s routine with Panji


Keara’s routine with Panji Keara’s routine with Panji

Monol ogue, Keara


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Sampai BlackBerry-ku berdering dengan satu ringtone yang aku assign hanya untuk satu orang.

 ringtone Keara’s apartment  assign

Monol ogue, Keara


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But in this case between me and Harris, memaafkan saja sudah setengah mati rasanya dan belum bisa sampai sekarang, apalagi melupaka?

But in this case between me and Harris

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara


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Hanya ada aku yang bertanya dalam hati: how do I define this thing between me and you now, Panji Wardhana?

how do I define this thing between me and you now, Panji Wardhana?

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling toward Panji

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 you You know, normally, setelah lima know hari kerja lima belas jam sehari, aku tidak akan mau beracara apa pun di Sabtu pagi kecuali tidur seharian atau spa sekalian.  normally

My recharge routine supaya tetap waras.

My recharge routine

Monol ogue, Keara Dinda’s house

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s activity on that Saturday Keara’s activity on that Saturday

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But here I am, pukul sepuluh pagi, pasrah—walaupun tidak suka rela—mendengarkan Dinda merepet panjang-lebar di dapur rumahnya.

But here I am

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s activity on that Saturday

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Seperti umumnya semua perempuan di Indonesia saat ini, Dinda sedang jadi korban Farah Quinn, the sexy chef on TV that drives every man here crazy.

Farah Quinn, the sexy chef on TV that drives every man here crazy

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Farah Quinn syndrome

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glued to the TV

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara


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on a fucking Saturday morning

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s activity on that Saturday

Dinda’s house



Jadi ceritanya, Sabtu yang lalu si Panca semi-semi mengacuhkan si monyet ini, glued to the TV begitu acara masak-masak Farah Quinn ditayangkan. Gila, nggak aku banget sebenarnya sudah terbangun jam delapan pagi on a fucking Saturday morning gara-gara dihujani telepon si monyet satu ini. Dinda: Iya, tapi gila aja gue masak rawon. Bahannya apa aja gue nggak tahu. Keara: Waktu Panca menikahi lo, dia juga tahu, kan dapur bukan speciality lo. Dia bayar mahar mahal-mahal bukan karena masakan lo

speciality

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terenak sedunia, kan? Dinda tetap ngomel-ngomel tapi menurut saat kugiring menuju patio patio belakang rumahnya. You know, akan jadi kejutan buatku apa pun yang dikatakan Panji tenang apalah ini yang You know sedang terjadi di antara aku dan dia. Our whole flirting routine Our whole yang—aku tidak tahu tepatnya flirting kapan—telah berubah menjadi routine rutinitas lain. Sampai aku dan dia tiba di satu titik—yang, like I said, aku tidak tahu kapan—di mana suara Anthony berhenti bergaung di like I said telingaku, dan yang ada hanya obrolanku dan Panji tentang harihari tidak penting aku dan dia. Dinda: Tapi dia psti nyoba-nyoba, kan? Keara: Ya iyalah, Nyet, dia laki constantl laki normal, kali. Dua y bulan pertama constantly, yang selalu gue tolak dengan alasan apa pun

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara


Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s relationship with Panji

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara


Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara


Dinda’s house



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yang saat itu terpikirkan oleh gue. We did stuff, but not that one.

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150

Waktu itu Taipei diguyur hujan deras karena Typhoon Xangsa, dan take off pesawat dipindahkan ke runway lain, mulai take off tepat pukul 23.16 waktu Taipei.

Murni karena human error, karena pilotnya salah belok saratus meter lebih cepat dan masuk ke runway tak terpakai, menabrak construction equipments di runaway itu tepat 41 detik kemudian, tidak terlihat karena jarak pandang yang parah di tengah-tengah hujan badai.

 We did stuff, but not that one

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 runway

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 human error

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 take off Plane

 runway  constructi on equipmen t

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father

Keara’s father


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Badan pesawat terbelah dua, sebuah crane mengoyak sayap kiri, dan hidung pesawat langsung tergeret mencium landasan.

crane

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151

Aku masih freshman di NYU saat kejadian itu.

freshman

151

Dan Ayah terbang ke Los Angeles untuk mengikuti training di head office kantor tempat dia bekerja, excited karena beliau berencana langsung mengunjungiku di New York sebelum kembali ke Jakarta, harusnya jadi pertemuan petama kami sejak aku pindah ke sana untuk sekolah.

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Aku masih berusia Sembilan tahun, dan kepindahan ini amat sangat tidak kusukai waktu itu karena harus berpisah dengan sahabat-sahabatku di Jakarta, dan aku masih ingat memasang aksi spoiled brat dengan merajuk tanpa henti sejak kami mendarat di Houston.

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father

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Plane/Ne w York

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father

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 training

 head office

Plane/Ne w York

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father

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 excited

spoiled brat

Plane/Ne w York

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father/ Keara’s first time moving to Houston

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Malamnya, Ayah dan Ibu membawaku keliling neighborhood kami untuk trickor-treating, bersama anak-anak lain dan orangtuanya masingmasing, aku mengenakan kostum Cleopatra yang dibelikan Ibu.

 neighbor hood Plane/Ne w York

Monol ogue, Keara

 trick-ortreating

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Trick-or-treating itu seru gil, dan aku tak henti-hentinya tersenyum dan tertawa excited, tawa pertamaku sejak kami pindah adalah malam itu.

152

 Hallowee Karena tidak ada kelas lagi n party seharian itu, aku dan dua teman kuliahku, Nate dan Sean, langsung cabut dari kampus untuk belanja pretelan buat Halloween party di  dorm dorm house kami malamnya. house

trick-ortreating

Plane/Ne w York

Plane/Ne w York

Keara’s father/ Keara’s first time celebrating Halloween

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s father/ Keara’s first time celebrating Halloween

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s experi-ence in celebrating Halloween party

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 But you see But you see, tidak sedikit pun rasa takut terbang yang menghinggapi kepalaku, not even that moment.  not even that moment

152

If anything, aku malah jadi kecanduan terbang.

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Setiap aku menaiki tangga pesawat, membalas senyum pramugari, mengambil tempat duduk, mengenakan safety belt, menghidupkan New York atau London Philharmonic Oechestr di iPod, dan memejamkan mata, aku merasa dekat banget dengan Ayah.

153

Jika children book section di Aksara adalah tempatku melarikan diri dari segala sesuatu yang evil di dunia ini, pesawat adalah tempatku merasa bisa kembali ke pelukan Ayah.

153

Menghabiskan berjam-jam terduduk kaku di kursi yang sama sekali tidak nyaman—jabatanku di

if anything

safety belt

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’sper ception toward flying

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara


Plane

Monol ogue, Keara


Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s favorite places

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s experince on flying

Plane

 children book section  evil

first class

Plane

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kantor belum pantas untuk dibayari terbang first class— disebelah orang yang sama sekali tidak kita kenal. Di penerbangan yang satu lagi, Jakarta-Pekanbaru kalau tidak salah, bapak-bapak di sebelahku justru lebih menyebalkan, agakagak gatel dan berusaha flirtingflirting nggak jelas. Memang untuk kerja selama seminggu penuh, but still, for me Bali is Bali. Ruly : Lo? Ngapain subuhsubuh udah nongkrong di sini? Keara : Nunggu sunrise. Lagi pengin motret guet.

flirting

but still, for me Bali is Bali

Plane

Plane

sunrise

Ayodya private beach

stereotypin g


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: Makanya. Lo kan nggak morning person banget. Keara : Tuh kan, stereotyping gue lagi, deh.

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Ruly : Bercanda, Key. Keara : Eh bentar ya, udah mulai sunrise.

sunrise


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Keara : Lo liat tuh, cakep banget deh pas refleksi mataharinya mantul di air

It’s a perfect purplish


Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s experince on flying

Monol ogue, Keara Dialogue, Keara and Ruly Dialogue, Keara and Ruly Dialogue, Keara and Ruly Dialogue, Keara

Keara’s work in Bali

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Keara met Ruly in early morning

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Keara met Ruly in early morning

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Sunrise

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Sunrise

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dan langitnya mulai bercampur biru-oranyehitam gitu. It’s a perfect purplish sunrise today.

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Keara : See, now it’s gone. Dan begitu matahari naik, kita harus balik ke reality: rapat brengsek itu sampai malam.

: Apa ya? I don’t know. Shopping? Clubbing? Keara : Tuh kan, another stereotyping. You don’t know me at all, do you? Ruly

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sunrise today

and Ruly

 See, now it’s gone Ayodya private beach  reality

 another stereotypi ng

 You don’t know me at all, do you?

Setelah dua hari menunggu sunrise di pantai ini sejak setengah enam sunrise pagi dan sia-sia karena selalu hujan, pagi ini sunrise-nya


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Sunrise 

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 Ayodya private beach


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Keara’s favorite 


Monol ogue, Keara

Sunrise

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sempurna banget.

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Not to mention this guy sitting next to me right now, yang tadi dengan indahnya sedang jogging di pantai ini.

 Not to mention this guy sitting next to me


Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

 jogging

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Ganteng-ganteng atletis gitu bermandikan peluh dengan celana pendek dan T-shirt Brown abuabunya. Dengan aku dan bikiniku subuhsubuh begini sendirian di private beach ini, ini bukan termasuk kelemahan kamu ya? Harris, dia saja… crap, kenapa aku harus menyebut-nyebut nama si keparat itu lagi?

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T-shirt


Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

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private beach

Ayo-dya priva-te beach

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

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crap

Ayo-dya priva-te beach

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris

Ayodya private beach /Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris

But seriously, Rul, waktu itu aku sedang sunbathing seperti ini di Ayana wakti si Harris tiba-tiba  But menghampiri, menatapku, dan seriously memamerkan senyum gatelnya itu, ngomong,”I’m surprised I

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haven’t done you yet.”  sunbathin g

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 ”I’m surprised I haven’t done you yet.”

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Aku ingat langsung melotot, “Keep it up and I’ll be surprised if I am still friends with you.”

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Suprisingly, though, ini sudah hari ketiga di Bali, bertemu Ruly 15-16 jam sehari, tapi efek lakilaki satu ini di kepalaku justru slowly diminishing.

162

Mungkin karena ada Panji yang dari jauh pun tetap membuatku tertawa pada flirting nggak

“Keep it up and I’ll be surprised if I am still friends with you.”  Suprising ly, though  slowly diminishi ng flirting

Ayodya private beach /Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris


Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly’s effect on Keara

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Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

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pentingnya. 24 6

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Telepon, BBM, sexting even.

sexting even


Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

162

Ruly si hemat bicara ini mungkin akan selalu jadi misteri yang ingin kupecahkan, tapi Panji is the guy who feeds my ego pretty well right now.

is the guy who feeds my ego pretty well right now.


Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

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That one smooth-talking Panji membangunkanku tepat jam lima pagi tadi karena malamnya aku cerita tentang niatku motret sunrise yang belum kesampaian.


Monol ogue, Keara

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 That one smoothtalking

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Panji 

 sunrise

Keara: Di film itu, Robin Williams memerankan tukang cuci nobody foto di semacam K-Mart takes atau Wal-Mart gitu, gue picture of lupa nama tokohnya siapa, something tapi dia bilang begini: they want nobody takes picture of to forget. something they want to forget. Karena for once, kamu berada di sini di depanku, kita berada di  for once setting paling romantic di Bali ini—you know, sunrise, private





Taking picture


Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

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beach, and everything—tapi yang ada di kepalaku justru Panji.

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 setting  you know, sunrise, private beach, and everythin g

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Bali memang selalu photohasmic. Ada puluhan shots yang sempat aku ambil di tepi pantai Uluwatu, tapi yang paling dahsyat justru pas pertunjukan kecak. Mungkin di dalam kepala orang satu ruangan ini—kecuali para bule Whymann Parrish—sedang merencanakan pembunuhanku sekarang, secara dengan suksesnya yours truly here membuat kami semua lembur

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Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Bali

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shots

Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Bali

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 yours truly here

Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s plan

photogasmi c

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sampai mampus gara-gara unscheduled break ke Uluwatu tadi sore.

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Aku masih tersenyum karena paling nggak ada dua lusin perfect shots yang berhasil kuambil tadi sore. Funny now that Ruly is not colonializing my mind anymore, aku jadi lebih santai dan nggak perlu sok-sok anggun seperti— siapa lagi—Denise kalau berada di dekat dia. Ruly : Lo tuh ya, Key, nyusahin kita semua aja. You’re such a big hit with all these bule right now, tapi gue yakin anak-anak Border yang ada di ruangan ini sekarang semuanya lagi berkonspirasi mau bunuh lo dalam tidur. Keara : Makanya, Ruly, gue tuh disini mau merekrut lo jadi bodyguard gue, jaga

 unschedu led break

perfect shots Funny now that Ruly is not colonializin g my mind anymore

bodyguard

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Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s plan

Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara


Uluwatu


Keara’s plan

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di depan pintu kamar.

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 undergra Ruly : Yang bener. duate Keara : Serius. Waktu gue masuk undergraduate, dia juga baru mulai ngambil MBA. Gue lupa awalnya gue sama dia kenalan di acara apa. Party apa gitu, awalawal semester dua kalau nggak salah. Sempat jalan  party beberapa kali, itu doang.

172

Tapi secara sudah keceplosan, would be interesting to hear what this guy has to say.

would be interesting to hear what this guy has to say

172

Laki-laki yang masih menduduki posisi sebagai the one who got away.

the one who got away

Uluwatu


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How Keara met one of the Whymann Parrish’s officer

Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly’s feeling toward Keara

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Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly’s feeling toward Keara

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You know what, Rul, mungkin aku harus benar-benar menaklukkan kami di Bali ini, then break your heart.

Kalau menghitung tiga tahun keparat itu, berarti ini day 1335?

Seluruh tim Wymann Parrish ada internal meeting sejak tadi siang, yang dilanjutkan dengan dinner karena country manager mereka datang dari Singapura. Ruly : Eh mau ke mana, Key? Keara : Motret, Rul. Kita merdeka, kan karena bulebule itu pada meeting sendiri? Ruly : Iya sih. Motret ke mana? Keara : Around Bali. Kayaknya gue mau ke Pasar Ubud dan Sukowati. Mungkin ke

 You know what  then break your heart day 1335?

 Uluwatu

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling 

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’spla n

 internal meeting  dinner

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Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

meeting

Hotel in Bali

Around Bali

Hotel in Bali

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Keara’s plan to hunt pictures

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Keara’s plan to hunt pictures

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Keara’s work

 country manager Dialogue, Keara and Ruly Dialogue, Keara and Ruly

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Ayana sekalian. Kenapa nggak sekalian aja kita habiskan hari ini sebagai Operation Conquer Ruly day one, setuju saudara-saudara? So here we are, satu jam kemudian, menyusuri setiap toko di Pasar Ubud ini.

Operation Conquer Ruly day one

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

So here we are

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Aku ingin bisa bercerita melalui foto, call it a photo essay.

call it a photo essay

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Iseng aja sih sebenarnya, something to get my mind off this guy yang ternyata hari ini jadi menemani gue. I’m not much of a reader sebenarnya, tapi Time Photo Essay itu mengemas beritanya justru dalam rangkaian foto yang membentuk satu cerita—mereka menyebutnya “The Day in Pictures” atau “The Year in Pictures”—sempurna buat yang cenderung makhluk visual seperti aku.

something to get my mind off this guy

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

I’m not much of a reader

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s plan to conquer Ruly Keara and Ruly in Pasar Ubud Keara’sdre am to make a photo essay Keara’sdre am to make a photo essay

Keara’s inspiration in making photo essay

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 I’m the least political I’m the least political person you’ll person ever meet, aku tidak merasa perlu you’ll menghafal di Negara-negara ever meet bagian mana saja Obama memenangkan election atau bahkan isu-isu penting apa saja yang dia angkat.  election

Golongan cynic mungkin bisa berkata semua adegan yang tertangkap kamera ini merupakan bagian dari scenario besar pencintraan dirinya sebagai Presiden Amerika Serikat. Aku percaya selalu ada segurat kisah yang menyentuh—heart warming in a way—di balik sebuah foto, apa pun itu.

 Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

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cynic

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Photo Essay of Obama and Miche-lle

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heart warming in a way

Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

Photo

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Hotel in Bali

Monol ogue, Keara

A photo of a soldier

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Sel-sel romantic yang becokol di kepalaku selalu membayangkan boxer itu adalah pemberian kekasih yang di cintai di  boxer hometown-nya, dan mengenakan boxer itu adalah satu-satunya cara untuk selalu mengingatkan dirinya sendiri bahwa ada orang yang

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Photo Essay of Obama and Michelle 

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selalu menunggunya pulang dengan selamat sampai di rumah, kapan pun itu.  hometow n

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Aku cuma perlu menghilangkan suara-suara monolog conscienceku yang terus menggema di dalam conscience kepala ini sejak mengobrol dengan banyak orang di Ubud dan Sukowati tadi.

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 overBanyak yang bilang Ayana di hyped Jimbaran agak-agak over-hyped cenderung terkesan stuck up untuk orang-orang yang datang ke pulau ini hanya untuk menikmati  stuck up Bali apa adanya.

Ayana

Ayana

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But then again, aku tidak sama dengan kebanyakan orang.

But then again

Ayana

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As for you, Rul, aku tidak tahu kamu ngapain sebenarnya denganku seharian ini.

As for you, Rul

Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara


Ayana’s mean-ing for Keara

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Ayana’s mean-ing for Keara

Ayana’s mean-ing for Keara Ruly

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Damn, setengah mati rasanya menahan air mata kalau cerita tentang hal ini. Sore itu hujan mengguyur Jakarta, dan all the way dari rumahku di Gaharu menuju Sudirman macetmacetnya. Mataku yang mulai berkaca-kaca mungkin dapat ditutupi dengan sunglasess, tapi suara tidak akan pernah bisa menipu. Keara: Dan lo tahu apa yang dibilang nyokap gue, Rul? Belaiu buka sunglasessnya, waktu itu gue baru sadar kedua matanya basah. Ibu bilang…

Dan di detik itulah Operation Conquer Ruly kembalu berubah menjadi Operation Ruly Fucks With Keara’s Mind lagi.

Keara’s religious experience

Damn

Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

all the way

Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara


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Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara


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Ayana



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sunglasess

sunglasess

 Operatio n Conquer Ruly  Operatio n Ruly Fucks With Keara’s Mind

Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

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Operation Conquer Ruly


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Dinda seperti biasa Cuma tersenyum simpul. “Hei, ini kan analsisi gue yang Cuma pernah ngambil kelas psikologi satu semester doing. Tapi gue nggak salah, kan kalau bilang you grew up with a man—your dad— whom you adore, tapi lantas semua laki-laki dalam hidup lo brengsek semua sampai lo ketemu siRuly ini, kan” Dari ratusan perjalanan yang pernah kulakukan, business or pleasure, ada satu perjalanan yang tidak ingin kuingat-ingat sampai kiamat. No, sama sekali bukan perjalanan darat tujuh jam dengan perut teraduk-aduk menuju perkebunan kelapa sawit di Sambas itu.

you grew up with a man—your dad— whom you adore

Ayana

Monol ogue, Keara

Rememberi ng what Dinda has said

business or pleasure

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s Singapore expe-rience

No

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s Singapore expe-rience

Monol ogue, Keara

What Keara did after that Singapore trip

I know this is stupid, tapi semua  I know benda yang kudapatkan di this is Singapura waktu itu, bahkan stupid memory card berisi ratusan foto di sana, kukumpulkan di satu boks dan kusimpan di sudut lematiku  memory yang tidak pernah kubuka-buka card lagi.

Tanjung Benoa

Aku tahu sudah hampir satu tahun

Tanjung

yet my

Monol

Keara’s

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7

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berlalu sejak kejadian itu, yet my memory is till unforgiving on every little detail that happened on that Singapore trip.

memory is till unforgiving on every little detail that happened on that Singapore trip

Benoa

ogue, Keara

feeling toward that trip

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Bagiku sangat fascinating membaca bagaimana panglima perang sekelas Napoleon berusaha memanangkan hati dingin istrinya, Josephine, di tengah-tengah usaha kerasnya memenangkan perang untuk Prancis.

fascinating

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

A book Keara took from Borders before going back to Jakarta

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My favorite quote, though, comes from thee journalist, writer, politician Richard Steele, yang sempat menuliskan lebih dari empat ratus surat cinta kepada istrinya sebelum dan selama mereka menikah, satu fakta yang membuat makna kata-katanya berikut ini lebih dalam lagi.

My favorite quote, though, comes from thee journalist, writer, politician Richard Steele

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s favorite quote

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Steele berkata—and my heart skips a beat everytime these words sink in: “Methinks I could write a volume to you; but all the language on earth would fail in saying how much and with that disinterested passion I am ever yours.”

 and my heart skips a beat everytim e these words sink in

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s favorite quote

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 “Methink s I could write a volume to you; but all the language on earth would fail in saying how much and with that disinteres ted passion I am ever yours.”

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Panji sama sekali bukan salah satu laki-laki besar dalam sejarah—stating obvious here— dan kata-kata rayuannya selama ini kuanggap hanya bagian dari grand strategy memenangkan

 stating obvious here

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Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Comparing Panji with great men

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permainan di antara aku dan dia.  grand strategy

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Dan sebenarnya harus kuakui, in terms of whispering sweet nothings, he’s pretty up there.

in terms of whispering sweet nothings, he’s pretty up there

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Kata-kata yang biasa banget sebenarnya, namun sempat membuatku sedikit kaget dengan repertoire gue-lo yang tiba-tiba digantinya dengan aku-kamu yang lebih mesra ini.

repertoire

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

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Ada sedetik-dua detik awkward silence di antara aku dan dia setelah itu, sampai aku berkata.

awkward silence

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Ruly in Tanjung Benoa

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Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

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 sunset

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Dan yang ada di kepalaku sejak kami memutuskan pembicaraan di telepon tadi pagi itu, sampai detik ini ketika Ruly sedang tertawatawa bersamaku di bawah sunset Tanjung Benoa ini, hanya satu: whose idea was it to make this week as “Everybody Fucks with Keara’s Mind Week?”

Sunblock aku bawa, kamera aku bawa, dua lensa aku bawa (thanks to Ruly yang mau menggotong-gotong tas kameraku lagi), baju ganti aku bawa, ekstra bikini pun aku bawa, tapi dengan

 whose idea was it to make this week as “Everybo dy Fucks with Keara’s Mind Week?”

 Sunblock

Tanjung Benoa

Monol ogue, Keara

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Keara and Ruly in Tanjung Benoa

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Deck of Bounty Cruise

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s motion sickness

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tololnya malah dramamine nggak ada di tas. 

 thanks to

 toasttoast

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Punya penyakit mabuk laut begini memang nggak ada enak-enaknya, di saat yang lain sedang heboh ketawa-ketawa ngobrol sambil ber-toast-toast di tengah-tengah  dining dining hall cruise ship ini, hall kampungan banget aku malah cruise melongo di sini, di deck, berharap ship terpaan angina laut yang dingin bisa menolong membekukan perasaan mual yang sudah tak tertahankan ini.  deck

Lebih kampong lagi kalau aku sok memaksakan diri ikut mereka berwine-wine terus tiba-tiba muntah dengan suksesnya sambil terhuyung-huyung, mau ditaruh di

wine-wine



Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara



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mana mukaku ini, nggak ada seksi-seksinya.

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Walaupun aku belum separah Dinda yang nonton adegan film yang di-shoot dengan hand held camera seperti The Blair Witch Project, Quarantine, District 9, Cloverfield, bahkan The Bourne Supremacy aja pusing-pusing.

Oh fuck, sepertinya aku baru saja merasakan bebek bengil yang kumakan tadi siang mulai naik ke pangkal tenggorokan. My dear God, kenapa harus Engkau takdirkan aku melakukan adegan paling tidak seksi sedunia ini tepat pada saat Ruly muncul di dek ini? Nggak lucu banget kalau aku muntah kedua kalinya all over Ruly. Bubar jalan beneran Operation Conquer Ruly ini kalau begini caranya.

 shoot Deck of Bounty Cruise

Monol ogue, Keara

Oh fuck


Monol ogue, Keara


My dear God


Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly’s appearance

Deck of Bounty Cruise Deck of Bounty Cruise


Keara’s motion sickness Keara’s motion sickness

Operation Conquer Ruly

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 hand held camera

all over

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Ruly: Mendingan kan, ya, biasanya kalau udah minum obat begini? Keara: Normally, iya. Tapi gila ya, musik kampong di dalam itu masih kedengaran aja dari sini. Makin pusing gue, Rul. I feel like I’m inside a crappy episode of The Love Boat.

Karena kebaikan hatimu malam ini hanya mengingatkanku kembali pada satu fakta yang telah kucoba kubur dalam-dalam: bahwa apa yang ada diantara kita mungkin takkan pernah bisa seperti yang ditulis Shakespeare, “Journey ends in lovers meeting.”

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 Normally

 I feel like I’m inside a crappy episode of The Love Boat.

Journey ends in lovers meeting

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Ini seperti cat-and-mouse game yang tidak pernah jelas siapa kucing dan siapa tikusnya.

cat-andmouse game

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Ketika kamu melakukan that thing you do.

that thing you do



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Keara’s motion sickness 


Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s love story

Deck of Bounty Cruise Deck of Bounty Cruise


Keara’s love story Ruly helped Keara

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Hanya ad kita, suara baritone MC menyanyikan lagu My Way yang menggema dari ballroom di dalam kapal, angina laut yang dingin, suara lambung kapal memecah ombak, dan langit hitam pekat betitik bintang ini. Kalau saja aku bisa menguatkan diri untuk mengatakan sesuatu untuk memcah keheningan di antara kita saat ini, maka aku akan meminjam satu passage yang pernah ditulis Johm Keats kepada kekasihnya, yang pernah kubaca di buku Love Letters of Great Men itu.

Karena, Ruly, tidak ada kata-kata uang lebih tepat untuk kusampaikan kepada kamu kecuali bahwa “the sun rises and sets, the day passes, and you follow the bent of your inclination to a certain extent, you have no conception of the quantity of miserable feeling that you pass through me in a day.”

ballroom

passage

“the sun rises and sets, the day passes, and you follow the bent of your inclination to a certain extent, you have no conception of the quantity of

Deck of Boun-ty Cruise



Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly helped Keara

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Monol ogue, Keara

Quotes that explain-ned the situation between Keara and Ruly

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Monol ogue, Keara

Quotes that explained the situation between Keara and Ruly

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miserable feeling that you pass through me in a day.”

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Benigni akan membawa kita ke perkebunan anggur di Tuscany, the kind of winery that produces Chinaty, dan apa yang kita lakukan sore ini akan diiringi gemersik daun-daun pohon anggur diterpa angina sore dari Laut Tyrrhenian. Soderbergh, my dear Soderbergh, tanpa basa-basi akan langsung menggiring adegan ini saat kita sudah merusak lipatan sprei putih yang terpasang rapi, matahari sore yang panas mengintip dari balik tirai yang hanya sempat kita tutup separuh, dan suara parau Nat King Cole mengalunkan Fascination menggema dari piringan hitam di sudut ruangan, menyamarkan suara napas berat kita. Dengan Wong Kar-Wai, setengah jam penuh passion yang tertahan ini akan serasa seperti simfoni

the kind of winery that produces Chinaty

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Someday people will make a film about us

my dear

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Someday people will make a film about us

 passion

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Someday people will make a film

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panjang Vivaldi yang dimainkan di sebuah apartemen tua di  allegro tengah-tengah berisiknya Shanghai, tegas diawali dengan entakan andante, yang kemudian perlahan bergerak ke allegro,  adagio adagio, presto, allegro non molto, dan ditutup dengan adagio e staccato saat akhirnya kita saling menatao, tanpa berkata  presto apa-apa, bertanya dalam hati masing-masing apa arti semua ini.  allegro non molto

about us

 adagio e staccato

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Tapi Panji, my dear Panji, aku tahu apa artinya ini bagiku dan bagi kamu.

my dear

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Panji’s passionate love

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 my dear

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Aku tahu artinya ini buat kamu, my dear Panji, tapi aku juga mengerti apa artinya ini bagiku, saat aku membalas ciuman kamu lebih panas lagi, dan kita di sini, bersandar di meja pantry yang mulai menyakiti punggungku, menit demi menit berlomba membuktikan siapa yang lebih passionate dalam hubungan ini— atau apa pun itu sebenarnya yang ada di antara kita.

 pantry

 passionat e

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Panji’s passionate love

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But I guess you can’t, Panji Wardhana, karena sedetik kemudian, tanpa menunggu balasanku, kamu sudah meletakkan tangan kananmu di belakang kepalaku, seakan-akan menahan agar aku tidak terbentur ke dinding saat kamu mulai memenangkan pertandingan adu passion ini.

Aku tahu kenapa kita ada di sini sekarang, my darling.

Yang akan membuatku sangat bodoh—not to mention politically incorrect—untuk melontarkan joke “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me” sebagai balasan atas lusinan sweet nothings yang sekarang kamu bisikkan di telinga kiriku.

 But I guess you can’t

 Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Panji’s passionate love 

 passion

my darling  not to mention politicall y incorrect

 joke

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Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s meeting with Panji

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Monol ogue, Keara

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Keara’s meeting with Panji 

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 “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me”

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Dan aku juga paham, bahwa jika ini sebuah film, kita ibarat dua pemeran yang diberi script yang sama namun di-briefing dengan cara berbeda oleh sutradara.

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 script Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

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Keara’s meeting with Panji

 briefing

Bahwa hanya ada satu hal yang menguasai kepalaku, sejak tadi malam di atas kapal bernama Bounty Cruise di Bali itu, tadi  outdoor pagi di saat aku dan dia berjanji restaurant bertemu sarapan bersama di outdoor restaurant Ayodhya dan memberi makan pelikan bersama, burung yang terkadang hinggap di

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What’s on Keara’s mind


pagar teras restoran, dan aku tertawa atas ledekan-ledekannnya, dan dia playfully mengacak rambutku sambil tersenyum dan berkata “Malu-maluin ah segitu  playfully aha mabuk laut,” masih dengan setia membawakan tas kameraku, dan kami naik ke pesawat dan memilih duduk bersama, dan dia menyodorkan sebutir Antimo lagi sambil berkata, “Gue nggak siap ya menampung muntahan lo di pesawat ini kalau ternyata lo mabuk udara juga,” dan aku tertawa, Panji, sama seperti tawa  I don’t kami yang bersahut-sahutan di mean to antara tujuh belas topic yang count but sempat kami bahas bersama—I my brain don’t mean to count but my just brain just functions that way— functions sampai akhirnya kami sama-sama that way capek, dan dia kembali meminjamkan bahunya untuk aku menyandarkan kepala dan tidur.

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Berminggu-minggu sejak pulang dari Bali dengan Ruly itu and I still feel like shit. Dengan Panji, yang dengan setia menjadi escape universe bagiku, aku menjadi toy baginya, dan kami berdua menjalani apa pun yang kami jalani ini, semuanya

and I still feel like shit

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

 escape universe

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Song about Keara and Panji

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terasa seperti lirik lagu Tracingnya John Mayer. 

 toy

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You know, the whole “I’m okay if you’re okay we’re wasting time”.

Countless lunches dan dinner, sarapan di Bandung menunggui batagor Kingsley buka di satu weekend, dia menemaniku photohunting subuh-subuh di pasar kue Senen, aku menemaninya berburu LP Herbie Hancock di Jalan Surabaya, dan countless DVDs yang kami tonton bersama di apartemenku saat aku sedang malas keluar, and the kisses and the hugs like any couples would.

“I’m okay if you’re okay we’re wasting time”

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Song about Keara and Panji

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 Countless lunches

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 dinner

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 photo hunting

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 countless DVDs

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 weekend

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s activity with Panji

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 and the kisses and the hugs like any couples would

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Dengan Ruly, yang harus kutemui rutin karena proyek bersama kami di kantor dengan konsultan itu, menit demi menit pertemuan itu kujalani dengan berusaha meyakinkan diri sendiri bahwa hatinya akan selamanya jadi milik Denise, dan membiarkan diriku terus merasa seperti ini adalah the grandeur stupidity of my existence.

the grandeur stupidity of my existence

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara


207

Karena, my dear Ruly, tidak ada yang lebih mengerti arti kata-kata “steady my breathing, silently screaming, I have to have you now” lebih dari sahabatmu ini.

 my dear

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Song about Keara and Ruly












 “steady my breathing , silently screamin g, I have to have you now”

32 7

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207

207

Ada satu malam ketika Ruly mengajakku makan di angkringan di Benhil, katanya satu-satunya tempat makan yang mesih buka saat kami pulang lembur jam sebelas malam—I wanted to scream Burger King tapi aku tahu benar bagi Ruly yang dimaksud makan sebenarnya adalah makan dengan nasi—dan dia tertawa saat aku kesusahan duduk lesehan di tikar dengan rok pendekku yang sibuk kututupi dengan membuka blazer. Dan malam itu, ditangah-tengah obrolan kami, ketika aku menyaksikan dia makan dengan nikmat di warung sederhana di pinggir jalan yang takkan mungkin kudatangi seumur hidupku kalau bukan karena dia, aku menghela napas panjang mendengarkan diriku sendiri berkata dalam hati



I wanted to scream

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

One night with Ruly



I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

One night with Ruly










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“I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe.” Jam delapan pagi tadi aku sudah diteror belasan telepon dari si Dinda ini, minta ditemani memilih gaun yang harus dikenakannya nanti malam di acara annual charity dinner-nya keluarga besar Wardhana, yang kujawab dengan, “Ribet banget kayaknya hidup lo menikah dengan keluarga model begini ya, Nyet.” “Jadi kita mau ke Biyan jam berapa?” kataku, agak segeran setelah menghirup kopi hasil brewing coffee machine baru si Dinda. Dinda: Jam sebelas aja kali, ya. Keara: Craaaaap, kalau gitu ngapain lo nyuruh gue datang ke sini jam Sembilan pagi begini, Nyeeeet? Dinda mengambil gaun pertama, the label reads Marc by Marc Jacob, dan memintaku membantu menarik ritsletingnya.

annual charity dinner

brewing coffee machine

Crap

the label reads Marc by Marc Jacob

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Accompanying Dinda to choose a dress





Dinda’s house

Dialogue, Keara






Dinda’s house







Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara







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Dinda: Tapi gue tadi memang  misleadin serius nanyanya. Kenapa g nggak ikutan? Kan seru gue ada teman buat nyelanyela orang di acara itu. Keara: Nggak ah, Din. Gue nggak mau ngasih sinyal yang misleading ke si Panji. Dari awal kami udah sepakat ini cuma mainmain, dan menampilkan diri di acara keluarga itu  no way no way near sekadar near main-main.

211

Keara: Nggak mungkin banget, kali fling-fling antara gue dan dia ini dia seriusin. Dinda: Terserah lo deh.

fling-fling

211

I mean, akan sangat mudah sebenarnya bagiku untuk jatuh cinta pada Panji dan membuat dia juga jatuh cinta mati-matian

 I mean



Dinda’s house







Dinda’s house



Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji












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padaku. Keara: Elo pasti besar kepala kalau gue ngomong ini. But you look mesmerizingly beautiful. Dinda: Oh why, but I am, darling. Dinda: Gue seneng banget deh, Nyet, kalau lo lagi ngomong jujur gini. Keara: Taeeeee. Change of subject, please. Dinda: Hahaha, ngambek dia. Tetep jadilah, Cong. Percuma gue udah megang kartu kredit Panca gini. Keara: For the sake of your too nice of a husband, gue doakan lo cepet insaf ya, Din. Dinda: Panji? Keara: Nggak ngapa-ngapain. Kami cuma nonton The ATeam di Blitz, terus langsung pulang. Damn, that Bradley Cooper guy is hot. Aku menuangkan secangkir kopi lagi dari coffee maker.

But you look mesmerizin gly beautiful.

Dinda’s house

Change of subject, please

Dinda’s house

Dialogue, Keara and Dinda Dialogue, Keara and Dinda

The dress Dinda chose





The dress Dinda chose





Dinda’s house







Damn, that Bradley Cooper guy is hot.

Dinda’s house

Dialogue, Keara and Panji

Keara’s movie date with Panji





offee maker

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s movie date with Panji

For the sake of your too nice of a husband






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Dinda: See, elo udah tahu jawabannya, kan? Keara: Please, please, please, let me let me let me… let me get what I want this time. Dan aku baru sadar bahwa teriakanku tadi dalam volume maksimum saat semua bapakbapak dan segelintir ibu-ibu— yeah I work in a maledominated world—menoleh ke arahku. Dinda: Eh, sebelum berencana panjang-panjang nih ya, lo bisa cuti nggak? Itu hari Juamt, kali, dan penerbangan dari JakartaManila itu lima jam-an. Nggak mungkin lo nekat terbang Jumat sore. Keara: Dinda, lo kenal gue, kan? Kalau buat John Mayer, I’ll fake some illness if I have to, biar bisa cabut. Dinda menyandarkan kepala ke kursi di sebelahku dan memasang safety belt. Dinda: Eh, siapa tahu yang perut

Please, please, please, let me let me let me… let me get what I want this time.


Keara’’s relationship with Panji



Keara’s office

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinda asked Keara to watch John Mayer’s concert





I’ll fake some illness if I have to

Keara’s office


Dinda asked Keara to watch John Mayer’s concert





safety belt

Plane

prince

Plane

yeah I work in a maledominated world

Dinda’s house

Monol ogue, Keara Dialo-

Going to Manila



John Mayer





 


5

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Melayu begini yang sebenarnya cinta mati John Mayer, bukan Jennifer Love Hewitr, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, apalagi lo. Keara: Heh, Nyet, lo udah punya prince charming lo sendiri. Biarin si John ini jadi milik gue seorang dong. Dinda: Nggak pantes tapi nanti pas John Mayer nyanyi yang dibayang-bayangkan di lirik lagunya itu si dua orang yang lo bilang nggak pantes itu. Keara: Crap, this is gonna be a long flight ya dengan lo nggak berhenti ngeledekledek gue begini. Menyumbat telingaku dengan earphone iPod dan memencet play. Kegiatan-kegiatan sinting maupun normal yang kulakukan bareng Dinda sejak mendarat di Manila cukup menghibur dan

charming

Crap, this is gonna be a long flight


Plane


Ruly and Panji

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s playlist in iPod

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Dinda’s active-ties in Manila

 earphone  play and I’m quoting Dinda here

Hotel in Manila


















menghilangkan baying-bayang— and I’m quoting Dinda here— pria-pria nggak penting itu dari kepalaku.

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Duduk di jendela kamar hotel lantai delapan yang menghadap M.O.A Concert Grounds, menatap para kru konser mulai loading barang, sambil menikmati sekotak Yellow Cab Pizza yang katanya legendaris itu, lengkap dengan chicken wings raksasanya.

Aku yakin sudah berkata ini belasan kali sebelumnya, tapi aku tidak pernah berhenti terpana setiap kali Dinda menunjukan sisi wife slash mother-nya ini. Seratus delapan puluh derajat bedanya dengan the bitch bermulut tajam ratu pesta yang kukenal sejak kuliah. Aku bangkit dari sofa di tepi jendela, mengambil Nokia lamaku dari dalam handbag. Dinda: Lo masih punya aja HP

 loading Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara









Keara and Dinda’s active-ties in Manila

 chicken wings

wife slash mother

Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinda’s persona-lity





the bitch

Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara






handbag

Hotel in Manila






back up

Hotel in

Monol ogue, Keara Monol

Keara’s






3

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lama itu, Nyet? Keara: Masih, buat back up aja kalau baterai BB abis.

220

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Yang kutunjukkan adalah videoyang kurekam di salah satu party dulu di New York, Dinda totally wasted dengan slang beer bong berlomba dengan Scott, teman kuliah kami, disorakin satu kampus.

Istri Panca Wardhana dan ibu Caleb Anantadewa Wardhana itu, guess what, memenangkan pertandingan menyedot beer bong itu, menangguk dua ratusan dolar dari para pemasang taruhan yang kami habiskan untuk memborong vintage clothing dan jewelry di Amarcord dan Pippin dan Edith & Daha lusanya. Karena besoknya aku dan Dinda masih terkapar hangover di apartemen.

Mani-la

ogue, Keara

phone



 party

 totally wasted

Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinda’s video 

 guess what

 vintage clothing





Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinda’s video

 jewelry

hangover



Hotel in Manila

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinda’s video







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






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Tapi malam ini, basah kuyup sampai baju menempel di badan, jingkrak-jingkrak bareng Dinda dan ribuan orang lain di sini, teriak-teriak sing along lagu Perfectly Lonely dengan si ganteng John mayer di M.O.A Concert Ground di Manila ini adalah happiness yang kupilih.

224

Aku dan Dinda sendiri sudah nekat memanjat naik ke kursi, walau harus berantem denggan security konser yang heboh memaksa orang duduk tenang.

224

Hello, ini konser John Mayer ya, bukan Diana Krall atau Andrea Bocelli, duduk manis is out of question.

224

 sing along

 M.O.A Concert Ground

Monol ogue, Keara

John Mayer’s concert 

 happiness

security

 Hello  is out of question

Tapi bahwa teriak-teriak loncat berbasah-basahan starstruck  starstruck menatap dan sibuk mengabadikan kedahsyatan John Mayer dengan jepretan-jepretan kameraku ini  induce adalah cara terbaik untuk menglacunar induce lacunar amnesia terhadap amnesia Panji, Ruly, dan semua fucked up



M.O.A Concert Ground

Monol ogue, Keara

John Mayer’s concert


Monol ogue, Keara



Monol ogue, Keara










 












side of my life.

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 fucked up side of my life

Sepanjang alunan Vultures, No  playfully Such Thing, Perfectly Lonely, Ain’t No Sunshine, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, Waiting on the World to Change, Stop This Train, Your Body is a  why am I Wonderland, Who Says, giving Heartbreak Warfare, Gravity, Do you the You Know Me, Why Georgia, complete sampai ketika John dengan setlist playfully-nya menyanyikan Don’t anyway Stop Believing di tengah-tengah lagu Half of My Heart—why am I giving you the complete setlist anyway—ini adalah salah satu malam paling menyenangkan dan  carefree carefree dalam hidupku.

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224

Panji: gone.

gone

36 3

224

Ruly: gone.

gone


Monol ogue, Keara














M.O.A Concert Ground M.O.A Concert

Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue,





Keara’s mind





Keara’s mind






Ground

Keara

 And yours truly here, of course

36 4

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225

And yours truly here, of course, kembali membayangkan seseorang begitu John menyanyikan katakata “steady my breathing,  “steady silently screaming, I have to my have you now”. breathing , silently screamin g, I have to have you now” Di atas pesawat SQ 917 dari Ninoy Aquin ke Changi ini, lagaknya aku dan Dinda sudah seperti fotografer model iklan Canon—dia bawa 550D dan G-9 sementara aku bawa 1000D dan G-11, this is all camera talk that I don’t need to explain anyway—flashing semua gear kami selama penerbangan ini dengan harapan mana tahu ada orang Canon yang lihat dan mau

 this is all camera talk that I don’t need to explain anyway

 flashing




Monol ogue, Keara



Keara’s mind



Plane

Monol ogue, Keara



Photos Keara and Dinda took along the concert 








bayarin perjalanan ini.  gear

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Suara purser penerbangan ini  purser terdengan di speaker, mengumumkan waktu ketibaan di Changi beserta di terminal  speaker mananya. Keara : You know, Din, gue harus bilang terima kasih sama lo karena udah ngajak gue gila-gilaan You know selama dua hari di Manila ini. Dinda : Does it work? Keara : Andai lo mau ngantar gue ke Shangri-La, tempat nginapnya si John supaya gue bisa dimain-mainin trip sama dia, trip ini pasti lebih luar biasa lagi, Nyet. Dinda : Gue belum mau dibunuh sama adik ipar sendiri, ya. Dinda tersenyum, menutup telinganya dengan headphone dan mulai menonton film yang headphone diputar di pesawat, sebelum aku sempat berkata apa-apa.













Monol ogue, Keara

Landing

Plane


Keara said thanks to Dinda

Plane


Panji’s message to Dinda



Plane

Monol ogue, Keara




Plane










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Aku dan Dinda menghabiskan sisa penerbangan dengan diam di kursi masing-masing, dia menonton Chloe dengan serius di TV pesawat, aku kesulitan konsentrasi bermain game Angry Birds di iPod Touch ini sambil berpikir bagaimana caranya sekarang bersikap di depan Panji yang nanti akan menjemputku dan Dinda di bandara, supaya tidak ada lagi cerita “titip jagain” seperti ini.

37 1

227

Begitu pesawat kami touch down di Changi.

touch down

Plane

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227

Great, I’m up for jogging, asal tidak usah memikirkan si Panji ini mau diapain.

Great, I’m up for jogging

Plane

227

begitu keluar dari pesawat, ground crew Singapore Airlines memberitahukan perpindahan gate ke gate 44 untuk lanjutan penerbangan kami ke Jakarta, yang jaraknya 20 gate aja dari gate aku dan Dinda mendarat sekarang thankyouverymuch.

37 3

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227

Keara : Din, lo duluan deh, gue

game

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara







Landing





 ground crew

 gate

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Landing

 thankyou verymuc h number two





Landing









 Plane

Dialo-

Keara went



 


4

37 5

kayaknya kebelet nih. Dinda : Number one or number two? Keara : Number two, makanya lo duluan aja.

232

Sepuluh menit di toilet—ini too much information ya sebenarnya—dan satu kapsul lansoprazole, dan aku langsung lari menuju gate 44.


 too much informati on



Airport

 gate

to the bathroom



Monol ogue, Keara 




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Keara : What the hell do you  What the think you were doing? hell do Dinda : Maksudnya? you think Keara : Buat apa tadi lo harus you were pakai ngobrol-ngobrol doing? beramah-tamah dengan si Harris segala? Dinda : Aduh, Key, masih ya? Kejadiannya kan juga udah setahun yang lalu. Keara : He fucked me when I was drunk. Mau berapa tahun pun fakta itu nggak berubah.  He Dinda : Keara, in all fairness, you fucked fucked him when he was me when drunk too, right? I was Keara : Ya tapi kan nggak bisa drunk. gitu, Din.

Oh yeah, mules berhenti, lanjut sequential symptom berikutnya, yaitu pusing-pusing nggak jelas

 Oh yeah



Airport




Dinda talked with Harris



Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s condition








ini.

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Siapa pun yang bilang time heals all wounds itu perlu dirajam, disilet-silet, dan dibiarkan kesakitan untuk melihat berapa lama dia bisa menahan rasa sakitnya.

 sequentia l symptom

time heals all wounds

 instead of Mungkin, ini sekedar mungkin, instead of melempar kamu dengan asbak, aku harusnya berdiri menghampiri kamu, tersenyum  “Well, bandel dan berkata, “Well, look look who’s got too much to drink last who’s night.” got too much to drink last night.” Kamu tertawa, we had a good laugh out of it, menghabiskan sarapan, dan menjalani sisa-sisa we had a jam di Singapura seperti good laugh normalnya dua sahabat yang tidak out of it pernah melihat satu sama lain telanjang.



Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s wound since the Singapore trip









Plane

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara



Keara’s imagination about the Singapore trip

Keara’s imagination about the Singapore trip










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Tapi maaf ya, Ris, bahkan bagian diriku yang paling promiscuous sekalipun nggak akan bisa menganggap peristiwa malam itu sebagai sesuatu yang biasa, yang bisa sekadar jadi bahan tertawaan di antara kita.

240

Aku duduk di sebelahnya di ruang rapat Senin pagi menenteng coffee coffee mug mug-ku.

Meeting room in Keara’s office

Monol ogue, Keara

Mor-ning in the meeting room





240

Ruly: Hehehe, sogokannya dulu dong. Keara: Adaaa, udah deh, berisik lo. Nanti gue kasih pas lunch bareng aja, ya, kalau sekarang adanya ketahuan banget gue balik dari mana.



Ruly asked for souvenir from Keara





Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s routine





Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s routine





promiscuou s

lunch

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241

Kopi dan wholewheat toast di pagi hari.

wholewhea t toast

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241

Dua puluh menit cardio tiga kali seminggu.

cardio

Plane

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling toward that accident



Meeting room in Keara’s office/Ke ara’s apartment Meeting room in Keara’s office/ Keara’s apartment




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38 7

38 8

241

241

241

Menantikan Senin pagi karena hari itu hari aku dan dia selalu weekly sarapan bareng di mejaku sebelum team kami memulai weekly team meeting meeting dengan bos-bos pukul setengah sembilan. Setengah jam yang kamis habiskan dengan berbagai obrolan diawali dengan pertanyaan “how was your weekend”, lalu dia bercerita tentang pertandingan olahraganya dan acara seru yang ditontonnya di National Geographic atau Fox Crime, aku menceritakan film “how was bagis atau busuk yang kutonton di your bioskop dan restoran baru yang weekend” kucoba selama dua hari itu, dengan menghilanglan bagianbagian yang ada Panji-nya, ditemani dua tangkup roti bakar dan dua gelas cappuccino panas, aku yang bawa rotinya dan dia yang beli kopinya di Starbucks lantai bawah. Dan sementara aku mendengarkan dia bercerita dengan kedua matanya yang berkilat-kilat penuh  touch semangat tentang prestasi yang down dua touch down yang berhasil dia torehkan di pertandingan touch

Meeting room in Keara’s office/ Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara and Ruly’s routine


Monol ogue, Keara



Monol ogue, Keara















football dengan teman-temannya hari itu, yang ada di kepalaku biasanya hanya satu: agar suatu hari kami bisa berhenti melakukan ini.

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39 0

241

Agar suatu hari aku dan dia tidak usah lagi saling menantikan jawaban pertanyaan “how was your weekend” itu karena akhirnya Ruly dan aku menghabiskan dua hari itu bersama-sama.

242

Ini cuma bisa dideskripsikan dengan campuran antara super excitement pascakonser John Mayer yang masih membekas sampai sekarang, dengan major dreading akibat encounter tak terduga di bandara kemarin, di Changi dan di Soekarno-Hatta.

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242

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Aku tahu harus kuakui aku menikmati bahwa dia selalu ada, well, di luar masa-masa dia sibuk dengan apa pun itu pekerjaannya. Panji has been my go-to guy for almost anything.

 touch football

“how was your weekend”




Monol ogue, Keara




 super exciteme nt  major dreading

 Meeting room in Keara’s office

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s condition

 encounter

well has been my go-to



Meeting room in Keara’s office Meeting room in

Monol ogue, Keara


Monol ogue,

Keara’s relationship















 




Keara’s office

Keara

with Panji

come on


Monol ogue, Keara






thankyouve rymuch


Monol ogue, Keara






guy for almost anything 39 3

39 4

39 5

39 6

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243

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Tapi come on, dari mana dia dapat pengesahan bahwa dia mulai boleh “titip jagain” ke siapa-siapa? Untuk menunjukkan ke Harris bahwa aku bahagia thankyouverymuch walaupun aku tidak memiliki dia lagi sebagai sahabatku? Sejak aku menerima situasi sekarang ini—you know, the whole mencintai Ruly diam-diam tak berbalas, mencoret Harris dari daftar sahabat, sampai bermainmain api dengan Panji—sebagai normalcy, kenormalan, kewajaran, atau apa pun itu, aku sebenarnya sudah pantas untuk menambah satu jam di sofa psikiater setiap minggu sebagai bagian dari “kenormalan” hidup ini. Empat tahun bukan waktu yang singkat untuk mencoba menjawab pertanyaan “what if in a man that

 you know, the whole

 Meeting room in Keara’s office

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s relationship with Panji 

 normalcy

“what if in a man that you love,

Meeting room in Keara’s

Monol ogue, Keara



Keara’s feeling toward








you love, you find a best friend instead of a lover”.

you find a best friend instead of a lover”

office

Ruly

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Braised beef burgundy seharga dua ratus lima puluh ribu di piring di depanku ini pun rasanya hambar akiba adegan yang harus kumainkan dan kusaksikan selama satu jam terakhir.

Braised beef burgundy

Potato Head, Pacific Place

Monol ogue, Keara

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Jadilah kami berempat berjalan bareng ke lantai basement 1 Pacific Place ini, diiringi candaan dan tawa tulus dari Ruly dan Denise, tawa aplsu dariku, dan aku berusaha mengabaikan apa pun yang keluar dari mulut Harris.

basement

Pacific Place

Monol ogue, Keara

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Jadi begitu Ruly dan Denise melambaikan tangan dan menghilang menyusuri underpass menuju BEJ, aku spontan berbalik arah meninggalkan Harris.

underpass

Pacific Place

Monol ogue, Keara

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Don’t mind me, ini cuma pernyataan marahku atas kelancangan Harris minggu lalu,

Don’t mind me

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

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Keara’s first time having lunch with Ruly, Harris, and Denise again Keara’s first time having lunch with Ruly, Harris, and Denise again Keara’s first time having lunch with Ruly, Harris, and Denise again Keara’s feeling on every-one’s





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menanyakan hubunganku dengan Panji.

questioning about her relationship with Panji



 I mean

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Keara’s apartment

I mean, why damn it why semua orang perlu tahu?

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling on every-one’s questioning about her relationship with Panji

 why damn it why

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Aku lupa siapa yang mengatakan ini: social networking websites kill the art of blind-dating.

social networking websites kill the art of blinddating

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

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Panji

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Dengan laki-laki seperti Panji Wardhana, whose name predes his reputation, mengenal siapa dia semudah membalikkan telapak tangan. Tidak usah meng-klik satu per satu ratusan google hits yang muncul di layarku ketika mengetik namanya, one click leading to his Facebook page yang bertebaran dengan fotofotonya dengan mantan-mantannya itu sudah cukup. Aku mengencani Panji justru karena dia brengsek, player, dan punya reputasi. Aku tahu ini mungkin saja satu dari sekian banyak caranya untuk membuatku jatuh cinta jatuh bangun—I am officially insane for quoting a dangdut song— memuja dirinya. Dan ini jauh dari memuja, tapi menurutku perempuan mana pun perlu laki-laki seperti Panji at one point of their life. Di luar ketidakmampuannya untuk membuka celana hanya untuk satu perempuan, Panji is a catch.

whose name predes his reputatio

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji





one click leading to his Facebook page

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji





player

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

I am officially insane for quoting a dangdut song

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

at one point of their life

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

is a catch

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

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 

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


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Good-looking, bersih, wangi, jantan, dengan trust fund sebesar Texas. I am dating Panji for fun dan aku tidak punya niat untuk mengubah itu sekarang. Ada bagian diriku yang berharap aku bisa mulai mencintai dia, karena kalau laki-laki seperti Panji saja tidak bisa membuatku menghapus perasaan kepada Ruly, then I’m definitely screwed. Si Panji Wardhana yang brengsek ini, entah kenapa harus merusak unsur fun hubunganku denganya dengan mulai menginvestasikan terlalu banyak perasaan di antara kami. Tapi jangan hakimi aku dulu karena menerima ajakan Panji untuk dinner malam ini.

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Ini mungkin agak aneh, but I find his missing for a week kinda sexy.

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So here we are, jam setengah sembilan di Emilie, sepiring Le

 Goodlooking

Keara’s apartment

 trust fund

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji









I am dating Panji for fun

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji



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then I’m definitely screwed

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji



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fun

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji



dinner

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji

Emilie

Monol ogue,

Dinner with Panji

but I find his missing for a week kinda sexy So here we are





 

 


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Filet de boeuf yang hampir habis di piringnya dan La Coquille St. Jacques yang baru separuh disentuh di piringku. Tidak ada atensi berbau cinta, cuma cerita-cerita lucu dan percakapan yang hangat dan innocent flirtatious innuendos. Menikmati rayuan dan perhatian Panji tiga atau empat kali seminggu sebagai dosis yang tepat untuk meyakinkan diriku sendiri bahwa aku a great catch dan hanya si Ruly saja laki-laki buta di dunia ini yang tidak bisa melihat ini.

Keara

innocent flirtatious innuendos

Emilie

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinner with Panji





a great catch

Emilie

Monol ogue, Keara

Dinner with Panji





Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue, Keara

Denise got hospitalized Denise got hospitalized Denise got hospitalized

Monol ogue, Keara

Denise got hospitalized

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Altis kantor ini memasuki driveway RSPI.

driveway

RSPI

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Bergegas turun dari mobil menenteng handbag.

handbag

RSPI

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Berkas yang berserakan di backseat mobil ini sama dengan kusutnya kepalaku sekarang.

backseat

RSPI

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My head is already in a mess sejak Panji dengan lancangnya bilang “I think I love you”, empat hari yang lalu, and now this.

 My head is already in a mess

RSPI









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

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




36 2

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 “I think I love you”



 and now this

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Di ruang tunggu emergency unit aku menemukan Ruly sendirian.

emergency unit

266

Jadi aku meraih BlackBerry-ku di  handbag dalam handbag, mencari nama ibu Denise di contacts, dan menghabiskan lima menit bicara berganti-gantian dengan ayah dan ibu Denise di telepon, berusaha setenang mungkin walaupun ibunya sudah jejeritan di ujung telepon sana, dan sekuat mungkin menahan air mata saat akhirnya pembicaraan di telepon kami tutup.  contacs

RSPI

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Monol ogue, Keara


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



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Ruly: Gimana? Keara: Panik banget. semoga tadi suara gue cukup calm ya, Rul. Malam ini juga mau langsung cari pesawat apa pun yang terbang dari Changi ke sini. Ini BBM pertama yang kubaca begitu terbangun hampir jam sepuluh pagi, on a Thursday. Niat mulia karena kalau aku masuk kantor dengan mood seperti ini, aka nada paling nggak selusin orang—dan benda, for that matter—yang akan jadi korban repetan bibir ini, mulai dari satpam lobi kantor yang suka memeriksa handbag tanpa pakai sarung tangan, orang-orang tanpa otak yang memenuhi lift kantor dengan jaket yang baunya seperti sudah tidak dicuci sejak zaman dinosaurus masih beol di planet bumi, toaster di pantry yang tidak pernah rata menggosongkan wholesheat toast-ku, para telemarketer yang krang-kring

calm

on a Thursday

RSPI





Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris’ BBM



 for that matter Keara’s apartment

 toaster





 mood

 handbag



Monol ogue, Keara

The reasons Keara did not go to the office







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dengan penawaran kartu kredit, sampai orang-orang yang berani coba-coba screw me even a little bit di rapat apa pun di kantor nanti.

 pantry



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 wholewh eat toast



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 telemarke ter



 screw me even a little bit

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So believe me, cabut dari kantor ini murni untuk kemaslahatan umat.

So believe me

Here’s a little something I just learned this morning as I woke up: efek bangun setelah tertidur sambil menangis itu sama parahnya dengan hangover lima gelas martini.

 Here’s a little somethin g I just learned this morning as I woke up









Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

The reasons Keara did not go to the office



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling after waking up








 hangover

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277

Crap, aku benci bahwa setelah berhasil tidur pun kepalaku masih dengan jahatnya berkomentar tentang Denise.

Crap

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Denise



277

So the hell with all these messages from the office, yang kuperlukan sekarang cuma mandi untuk mencuci semua setan yang menguasai kepalaku.

So the hell with all these messages from the office

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s way to relax



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Aku memasukkan CD Adele di player kamar, volume sekencang mungkin supaya suaranya masih terdengar sampai kamar mandi dan bisa mengalahkan derasnya hujan dan guntur yang bergemuruh almost apocalyptic, mengisi bathtub dengan air setengah panas, menuangkan cairan bubble bath dan bath salt, setiap gerakan rasanya seirama dengan tarikan suara Adele yang sedang menyanyikan Make You

 bathtub





 player

 almost apocalypt ic



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara













Feel My Love ini.

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 bubble bath





 bubble salt



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 heartwarming



Ada rasa yang sedikit heartwarming waktu aku akhirnya membenamkan tubuh di bathtub,  bathtub memejamkan mata menikmati bath salt yang mulai melumer dan mengisi pori-pori.  bath salt “I’m fine, cuma malas ngantor aja,” aku akhirnya membalas BBM Harris. No, ini buka berarti malam bangsat di Singapura itu sudah terhapus dari daftar penyebab aku membenci orang itu, tapi tadi malam dia ada buatku. Harris the best friend yang sudah setahun lebih hilang dan digantikan dengan Harris who

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara


I’m fine

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris’ BBM

No

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris’ BBM

 the best friend

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris









 







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


fucked his best friend itu.

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And the whole “you deserve better, Keara”, menurut lo gue nggak tahu itu?

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Mungkin aku memang masochistic.

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Sedetik setelah aku merasakan mataku mulai memanas sesudah membaca pesan itu, aku meletakkan BlackBerry-ku di sisi bathtub dan menenggelamkan kepala. Teman paling tepat di tengahtengah dingin dan gelapnya Jakarta yang diguyur hujan sedera ini—tipikal hujan yang cocok buat shooting disaster movies seperti The Day After Tomorrow— sebenarnya adalah seseorang seperti Panji. Ini bukan jenis cuaca buat siapa pun sekadar duduk duduk di sofa sendirian menonton some crappy old movie di TV kabel atau DVD

 who fucked his best friend And the whole “you deserve better, Keara”





Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris

masochistic

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris





bathtub

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Harris’ BBM





shooting disaster movies

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Jakarta’s weather that day





 some crappy old movie

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara











berteman pop corn atau bergelung di kamar tidur berjam-jam.

38 1

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If you subscribe to some funky weather channel, weathermannya pasti akan ngomong bahwa sofa dan kamar tidur itu sia-sia banget kalau tidak dipakai untuk berpeluk-pelukan dengan seseorang.



 pop corn  If you subscribe to some funky weather channel,


Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara




 weatherm an

Tapi secara aku bertekad menjalankan aksi cooling period  cooling dengan Panji sampai dia lupa period telah menyebut-nyebut “I thing I love you” shit itu, dan berharap Ruly-lah yang memeluk-meluk aku siang ini sama dengan berharap  “I thing I bahwa Jakarta hujan salju, teman love you” yang bisa kupilih hanya suara John Mayer—my darling John Mayer, maaf barusan ngomongnya “hanya”—menyanyikan In Your  shit Atmosphere di DVD konser Where The Light Is.














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 my darling



 you know who

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Membayangkan you know who waktu John menyenandungkan lirik  “whereve “wherever I go, whatever I do, I r I go, wonder where I am in my whatever relationship to you”. I do, I wonder where I am in my relationsh ip to you” Nama you know who berkedipkedip di layar BlackBerry-ku yang you know tiba-tiba bordering di tengahwho tengah lagu ini.

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Ha? Kesambet apa you know who ini?

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286

Sementara Ruly dengan lahap





Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara



Ruly



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

you know who

Keara’s apartment

fast food

Hoka-

Monol ogue, Keara Monol

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Ruly

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Ruly

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Ruly

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6

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menikmati hidangan bento sederhana di depannya seperti anak kecil yang kesenangan karena diizinkan orangtuanya makan fast food sebulan sekali, sebagian sisa kecerdasan yang ada di dalam otakku dipakai untuk menahan diri agar tidak menatap dia penuh cinta, dan sebagian lagi dipakai untuk dengan kreatifnya berusaha memaknai arti siang ini. Arti kenapa Ruly tiba-tiba menjemputku tadi, do you believe bahwa selain waktu di Bali dulu, ini pertama kalinya aku dan dia makan berdua seperti ini di luar pakaian kerja kami? The whole “assign meaning to everything” exercise yang terus kulakukan bahkan sampai kami sudah tertawa-tawa membahas apa pun di dalam mobilnya menuju RSPI. Di luar salah satu alasanku mengagumi Ruly karena simplicity-nya itu—bahwa akan sangat mudah bagi dia untuk membuat dirinya senang, cukup dengan makanan sederhana yang dia sukai atau bisa jogging setiap

Hoka Bento

ogue, Keara

do you believe

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly





The whole “assign meaning to everything” exercise

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly





 simplicit y

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly






hari atau bisa main bola seminggu sekali dengan teman-teman segengnya, sementara orand-orang hedonis seperti aku dan Dinda dan  jogging Harris dan Panji butuh kebendaan dan berada di in-crowd dan hip places (termasuk harus nonton John Mayer ke luar negeri baru bisa bahagia) untuk mendefinisikan kesenangan buat kami—aku juga mencoba memaknai kata-kata Ruly itu ke sisi  in-crowd yang lain.

 hip places

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Kenapa dengan hanya tersenyum dan mengobrol selama lima belas menit aku sudah bisa membuat hampir semua laki-laki lain kiss the ground I walk on, sementara dia yang sudah pernah serumah denganku selama dua tahun dan

kiss the ground I walk on

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s curiosi-ty

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sudah bertahun-tahun setelah itu berteman denganku tetap saja tidak bisa “melihat” seorang Keara Tedjasukmana. Katanya—dan maaf sekali lagi karena ini juga akan terdengar sangat arogan—sederhana saja: karena bagi Ruly, Denise itu seperti semua makanan fast food yang dia sukai itu, sedangkan aku seperti sepiring kecil le foie gras. Dia ibarat sepiring nugget yang digoreng dengan apa pun dan dengan sambal apa pun pasti enak, bahkan buat yang pertama kali makan. Kalau suatu hari aku berhenti jadi pegawai kantoran, mungkin aku akan jadi penulis cerita anak-anak tentang angsa yang mencintai pangeran kodok yang mencintai nugget ayam. Aku tidak begitu mengenal Kemal kecuali bahwa dia pernah satu sekolah dengan Denise waktu SMP dulu dan mereka bertemu lagi setelah Denise bekerja di Border dan Kemal sudah jadi corporate lawyer, ketemunya juga kebetulan di salah satu penandatanganan perjanjian

fast food

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara compared herself with Denise



nugget

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara compared herself with Denise





nugget

HokaHoka Bento

Monol ogue, Keara






corporate lawyer

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Denise and Kemal








kredit dengan nasabah Denise yang ternyara direpresentasi oleh Kemal, kemudian mereka pacaran singkat dan memutuskan untuk menikah. 39 4

290

And guess what, Denise memberi maaf.

And guess what

RSPI

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And whaddayaknow, Kemal mengulangi perbuatannya lagi tidak lama kemudia.

And whaddatak now

RSPI

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Tapi Kemal yang kulihat hari ini bukan Kemal yang womanizer itu.

womanizer

RSPI

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Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue, Keara Monol ogue, Keara

Denise and Kemal





Denise and Kemal





Denise and Kemal





RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Denise and Kemal





who the fuck cares why?

Pet fish store

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly





Oh crap, kenapa bibirku jadi kebablasan begini?

Oh crap

Pet fish store

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly





Ini hal-hal yang biasanya dengan mudah kuucapkan waktu flirtingflirting nggak penting dengan semua laki-laki lain yang pernah berada di posisi ini, tapi tidak

flirtingflirting

Pet fish store

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly

Yang kutahu hanya bahwa dengan begitu banyak masalah pernikahan Kemal dan Denise, entah bagaimana caraya mereka make it work dan terlihat bahagia. Walaupun suara yang kupilih untuk didengar adalah yang satu lagi, yang bilang who the fuck cares why?

make it work






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pernah dengan Ruly. Aku menonton Ruly menyusun kerikil hiasan akuarium di dasar fish bowl yang ukurannya sedikit leboh besar daripada bola basket. Katanya ini ikan paling hassle free, lalu dengan hati-hati menuangkan isinya agar airnya tidak ketumpahan di coffee table ruang tamu apartemenku ini.

Aku bangkit dan mencoba mengangkat fish bowl itu. Aku menelan ludah waktu tiba-tiba merasakan butterfly in my stomach—ini bahasa Indonesianya apa ya?—waktu aku menyadari pertama kalinya Ruly berada di kamar ini dan hanya ada kami berdua di sini sekarang. Dan ada awkward moment di antara aku dan dia waktu kami berdiri bengong di ruangan itu, menatap ikan yang berenang di depan kami. Malam waktu aku mabuk laut di cruise ship di Bali itu dan dia

fish bowl

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

 hassle free  coffee table

Keara’s fish















Keara’s fish

fish bowl

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s fish



butterfly in my stomach

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s fish



awkward moment

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s fish





cruise ship

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue,

Situa-tion between








merangkulku dan membiarkan aku memejamkan mata di dadanya sambil memerangi kepalaku yang terasa berputar.

Keara

Keara and Ruly

“I remember things better with you. I look at you and I’m home,”

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Situa-tion between Keara and Ruly

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara thought it was a dream

302

Karena waktu Dory berkata ke Marlin, “I remember things better with you. I look at you and I’m home,” yang ada di kepalaku hanya kamu, Ruly Walantaga.

40 8

307

Jam tangannya ada di ditu, dan ini memang sudah setengah sepuluh, tapi yang membuatku tertegun adalah waktu melihat ada ikan discus berwarna kuning sedang berenang-renang di dalam fish bowl di atas meja itu juga.

fish bowl

Keara’s apartment

40 9

308

Panji is as charming as always.

is as charming as always

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji’s call





41 0

308

Nggak ke mana-mana, Panji, tapi kalau kamu mau mengategorikan then I’m main cium-ciuman dengan Ruly itu guilty “nakal”, then I’m guilty.

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Panji’s call





41 1

308

Scam banget yang bilang ikan bisa membantu bunuh insomnia.

Scam

Keara’s apartment

41 2

308

Panji memamerkan senyum charming-nya waktu aku membuka pintu, tapi wajahnya

charming

Keara’s apartment


40 7





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Keara’s fish





Panji



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langsung berubah bingung waktu aku menahan ciuman bibirnya dengan jari-jari tangan kananku.

41 3

41 4

41 5

41 6

309

309

312

312

Ruly yang menguasai bibirku sampai aku hampir kehabisan napas—sorry for the exaggeration but damn, I didn’t know that guy can kiss like that.

sorry for the exaggeratio n but damn, I didn’t know that guy can kiss like that

Aku masih ingat suara detak  end title jantungku jauh lebih kencang daripada suara musik end title Finding Nemo di TV waktu Ruly  “Thank akhirnya berkata, hampir berbisik, you for “Thank you for today, Key”. today, Key” Setengah jam penuh perdebatan “I don’t dan pertengkaran yang think I can melelahkan yang kuawali hanya do this dengan berkata, “I don’t think I anymore”. can do this anymore”. Untuk Panji, entah dia percaya this is just atau tidak, this is just me who no me who no longer can play the game he and longer can play the I have been playing for the last game he ten months.

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s first kiss with Ruly

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s first kiss with Ruly

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

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



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara ended her ‘game’ with Panji



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara ended her ‘game’ with Panji






and I have been playing for the last ten months  You know

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312

You know, Rul, setelah tadi malam, setiap sel tubuhku berharap kamu akan menelepon dan mengajakku bicara duluan hari ini, but now that you did, sekarang setelah kamu muncul di apartemenku looking all handsome like you always do, aku merasa seperti anak sekolah lima belas tahun yang baru membuka pintu menyambut kedatangan crush pertamanya.



 but now that you did  looking all handsom e like you always do


Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling after Ruly kissed her

41 8

Dengan laki-laki lain—Enzo, Panji, Arya, Raul, dan entah siapa lagi yang tidak perlu kudaftar satu per satu di sini—kecanggungan, you know this uncomfortable

you know this uncomforta ble awkward









 crush

312 313



Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s feeling after Ruly kissed her








41 9

42 0

42 1

313

313

314

awkward silence—setelah ciuman pertama itu selalu dengan mudahnya kami bunuh dengan kembali melakukan halm yang menyebabkan kecanggungan itu muncul.

silence

So here we are, aku dan Ruly duduk berhadap-hadapan menungguk pesanan bebek bengil kami, percakapan siang ini cuma bertopik isi menu restoran ini dengan kalimat-kalimat pendek yang selalu dijedai awkward silence di antara aku dan dia.

 So here we are

Dua porsi bebek bengil yang akhirnya tiba di meja kami bisa menjadi alasan kenapa awkward silence itu harus ada: untuk mengunyah dan menikmati hidangan ini. Pada satu season serial Friends, Joey, yang sekian lama telah bersahabat dengan Rachle dan bahkan saat itu tinggal satu apartemen karena Rachel harus mengungsi setelah apartemennya

 Restauran t

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s lunch with Ruly

 awkward silence

awkward silence

season







Restauran t

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s lunch with Ruly





RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s biggest fear



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dan Phoebe terbakar, tiba-tiba menyadari bahwa dia menyayangi Rachel lebih dari sekadar sahabat.

42 2

314 315

Rachel berteriak, “Oh my God, how can you watch this? Aren’t you scared?” sambil membenamkan kepalanya di pelukan Joey, dan aku ingat waktu itu Joey berkata lirih, “Terrified”.

 “Oh my God, how can you watch this? Aren’t you scared?”

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

42 4

315

315

Ironically, with me and Ruly, aku tidak pernah terlalu merasa ketakutan bahwa perasaanku ke Ruly tidak berbalas. Ini sebenarnya menyedihkan, tapi aku telah lama menerima fakta bahwa this thing that I have for Ruly is not mutual karena sampai kapan pun aku mungkin tidak akan bisa memecahkan misteri kenapa Ruly cinta matinya hanya kepada Denise.








 “Terrifie d”

42 3



Ironically, with me and Ruly

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara






this thing that I have for Ruly is not mutual

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara







42 5

42 6

42 7

315

315

315

42 8

316

42 9

323 324

Ketakutan terbesarku justru jika suatu saat Denise bercerai dan akhirnya melihat ada Ruly yang selama ini jatuh bangun cinta mati kepada dia dan Denise terbuka hatinya and they live happily ever after.

and they live happily ever after

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara






RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s opinion about her kiss and Ruly





RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s opinion about her kiss and Ruly





Okay, he’s just kissing her as friends

RSPI

Monol ogue, Keara

Ruly’s kiss to Denise and his kiss to Keara

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

“Morning, boys. How’s the

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

The book Keara read



Dan untuk yang kedua… well, what can I say?

well, what can I say?

Paling tidak, setelah Ruly menciumku dan aku mencium Ruly tadi malam—thanks to some weird cosmic thing happening in the universe—Ruly masih ada di sini bersmaku walaupun semuanya jadi canggung di antara kami. Okay, he’s just kissing her as friends, ini yang aku dengungkan di kepalaku waktu aku memeluk Denise setelah Ruly, beda dengan ciuman yang diberikan Ruly kepadaku tadi malam, yang sama sekali bukan sesuatu yang normal dilakukan di antara dua orang sahabat. Aku pernah baca satu buku David Foster Wallace yang judulnya This is Water, dan di buku itu ada

thanks to some weird cosmic thing happening in the universe




satu cerita tentang dua ikan kecil yang sedang berenang-renang di laut dan berpapasan dengan ikan tua yang menyapa mereka, “Morning, boys. How’s the water?”

water?”

 As I read along

43 0

43 1

43 2

324

324

324

As I read along, Wallace kemudian bercerita tentang bagaimana kita, human being,  human cenderung untuk tunduk pada being default setting untuk selalu selfcentered, melihat kejadian sehari default hari di sekeliling dari kacamata setting kepentingan sediri dan mengabaikan realitas apa sebenarnya yang sedang terjadi.  selfcentered Call me pathtic, tapi dada ini rasanya seperti diinjak-injak satu miliar orang di Cina setiap teringat analogi ini. Dan air adalah keadaan bahwa walaupun Ruly mencoba menjalin hubungan denganku dan aku merasa penantian panjang itu akhirnya berujung bahagia, aku dan dia sebenarnya sama-sama

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Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

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The book Keara read

Call me pathtic

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

The book Keara read





ignoring what’s real

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Analogy of the book and Keara’s life






43 3

43 4

324

324

sedang menipu diri sendiri, ignoring what’s real: mencoba membuat Ruly berhenti menyimpan Denise di dalam hatinya akan sama sulitnya bagiku dengan memutar bumi berlawanan arah dari porosnya. This stabbing pain di dalam dada ini adalah untuk satu malam di Potato Head ketika akhirnya aku melihat “air”. Waktu Ruly berulang kali mencuri pandang ke arah Denise saat Denise sedang berbicara, waktu Denise menoleh ke Ruly membahas satu topic tentang cerita Boston mereka dulu dan Ruly cuma tersenyum menatap Denise, waktu kami mengakhiri acara makan malam itu sekitar pukul sembilan dan Ruly dan Denise mengobrol seru sambil jalan di depan mendahului aku dan Harris, aku cuma bisa berjalan mengikuti di belakang mereka sambil berulang kali

This stabbing pain

Keara’s apartment

Monol ogue, Keara

Analogy of the book and Keara’s life

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

 “this is okay”

Keara’s apartment / Potato Head

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s jealousy seeing Ruly and Denise

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berkata dalam hati “this is okay” dan Harris tiba-tiba menangkap lenganku dan berkata pelan dengan nada khawatir, “Are you okay?”  “Are you okay?”

43 5

325

There was this saying in Latin: nemo in amore videt.

43 6

325

Ada satu lagi kutipan yang bilang bahwa love is not blind, but it’s blinding.

There was this saying in Latin: nemo in amore videt. love is not blind, but it’s blinding

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Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

Latin’s saying

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Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

Saying about love

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


43 7

325

Dalam dua bulan Ruly menjadi milikku, oh who am I kidding, let me rephrase that, dalam dua bulan aku berada dalam ilusi bahwa Ruly menjadi milikku, seluruh alam semesta ini berkonspirasi untuk mengirim isyarat-isyarat ke depan mataku: this kind of quotes yang tidak sengaja aku lihat waktu membaca majalah sambil menunggu pesawat, waktu browsing buku di toko buku, this kind of looks on Ruly’s face setiap dia berbicara dengan atau tentang Denise, dan ingatasn fotografisku yang bangsat ini merekam semuanya di kepala ini.

 oh who am I kidding, let me rephrase that

 browsing

 this kind of quotes

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Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

Saying about love

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

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 this kind of looks on Ruly’s face

43 8

325

43 9

325

Jadi setiap hari selama delapan I’ve been bulan terkhir setelah malam aku following dan Ruly akhirnya selesai, I’ve this routine been following this routine. Bertemu Ruly kadang-kadang di kantor waktu rapat, bertegur sapa dan tersenyum seadanya, terkadang menerima tawaran Harris untuk sarapan bareng dengan bubur ayam duduk di mobilku, mengulangi our little ritual waktu aku dan dia masih sahabat paling dekat di muka  our little bumi ini, mengobrol tentang apa ritual saja kecuali Ruly dan Denise, some days we laughed and some othe days I just sit there staring at the coffee cup and he’d be telling me stories dan kami mengakhirinya dengan Harris menemaniku jalan keluar dari mobil menuju lift dan dia biasanya



Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s routine for 8 months

Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

Keara’s routine for 8 months

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bertanya “are you okay?” sebelum kami berpisah, aku biasanya tersenyum mengangguk, lalu aku menutup hari itu dengan menyetir sendiri pulang sambil memelihara satu suara baru di dalam kepalaku yang berulangulang membisikkan: this is water.

 some days we laughed and some othe days I just sit there staring at the coffee cup and he’d be telling me stories






 “are you okay?”






 this is water

44 0

326

You know, seperti yang dibilang Wallace di buku itu: awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over.

 You know

Marina Bay Circuit

Monol ogue, Keara

This is Water book



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 awarenes s of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep remindin g ourselves over and over.






Appendix 2: Synopsis of Antologi Rasa Novel

Antologi Rasa

Keara Karena kebaikan hatimu malam ini hanya mengingatkanku kembali pada satu fakta yang talah kucoba kubur dalam-dalam: bahwa apa yang ada di antara kita mungkin takkan pernah bisa seperti yang ditulis Shakespeare, “Journey ends in lovers meeting”. Our Journeys are always interwined but never the same anyway, right? Aku mengejar kamu dan kamu mengejar Denise. Ini seperti cat-and-maouse game yang tidak pernah jelas siapa kucing dan siapa tikusnya.

Harris Gue merasa seperti terjebak dalam adegan sinetron yang mau gue bunuh saja penulis skripnya. Kenapa segenap alam semesta ini tidak bisa membiarkan Ruly, Keara, dan gue bahagia? Biarkan Ruly akhirnya diterima cintanya sama Denise, biarkan si Kemal suami Denise itu jauh-jauh saja ke Timbuktu sana, biarkan gue mencintai Keara, dan biarkan Keara menatap gue dan memeluk gue dan menerima cinta gue, dan Panji cuma kutu anjing yang bisa dibasmi dengan bedak Doris dan tidak pernah ada lagi di antara kami.


Ruly Tempat ini jauh mengalahkan kamar rumah sakittempat gue bisa bersama Denise, karena di tempat yang sama itu juga ada suaminya yang dia cintai, bukan gue. Ruang tamu berukuran empat kali empat ini terasa nyaman karena di sebelah gue ada Keara, sahabat gue yang dari tadi membawa gue ke dalam dunianya dan berhasil membuat gue sesaat melupakan perempuan paling sempurna yang pernah gue kenal. Yang kekurangannya cuma satu, tapi kekurangan itu juga paling menyiksa gue: sudah jadi milik orang lain.

Three best friends. One love story. Classic. Unpredictable plot. This novel tells us about a classic love story between three best friends or four. Wrapped in a nearly reality, but in a nice way, and ended up in an unpredictable plot.


Appendix 3: About Ika Natassa, the Author of Antologi Rasa Novel

Ika Natassa is a banker, writer, and photographer. She was born in Medan, North Sumatera on 1977. However, she spent a great deal of her time in overseas. In 2004, she was one of the ten finalists of Cosmopolitan magazine’s Fun Fearless Female. In 2010, she was also awarded with the title Women Icon from The Marketeers. In the same year, she finally decided to self-publish her first book “Underground” with the assistance of Indonesia’s first and only self-publishing company Nulisbuku.com. Her specialties are Relationship management, loan portfolio management, financial and business feasibility analysis, project management, wholesale transaction banking, corporate culture. Now

LitBox, Bank Mandiri, a Project Leader - Wholesale Transaction Banking at Bank Mandiri, Medan, Sumatera Utara, Indonesia

Recently

1. ACTEW Corporation Limited Canberra, Australia. 2. Department of Primary Industry and Fisheries - Darwin, Australia

Apprentice in the Corporate Finance ACTEW Division

Corporation

Limited

-

Canberra, Australia on Oktober 1998 –


November 1998. Apprentice

Department of Primary Industry and Fisheries

-

Darwin,

Australia

September 1998 – October 1998. Experience and voluntary issue

Australia-Indonesia Youth Exchange Program December 1998 – until now.

TYPES AND SPEECH FUNCTIONS OF CODE SWITCHING USED BY KEARA IN ANTOLOGI RASA NOVEL

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